Posted May 7, 2009
JBL: Thank you Jimmy and once again like Y2J or not he’s put on a heck of a show and he barely had to do a thing to make this card.
JR: That’s actually a good point most of the matches we will see tonight came a result of growing animosities between many of the WWE Superstars.
JBL: OF COURSE IT’S A GOOD POINT, THAT’S WHY I SAID IT! Tonight of course is highlighted by two pick your poison matches with the stakes the way I like them; High.
JR: In one match we will see Hanniball face off against the WWE Champion Kevin Thorn in and if Thorn wins can chose the stipulation for the WWE title match at Bad Blood.
JBL: But that reward pales in comparison to what Edge will get should he defeat Gangrel. A Weekend with Ariel and you can count on that weekend being Rated R, heck maybe even rated X.
JR: It’s another long night ahead for me I can see. In other action Vampiro looks to take out his frustrations with the Sinister Minister on New Church member Mideon.
JBL: Mideon of course is no push over and is a very dangerous man, but as much as it pain me to say it, when anyone insults Morganna and his feelings for her, Vampiro becomes that much more dangerous. Trust me JR Vampiro doesn’t need extra incentive to beat the crap out of someone, and the Sinister Minister has given him a great many reasons to.
JR: The King of the Ring Qualifying matches begin tonight in what if you ask me is a bogus match up. As Hurricane Helms has to go one on one with the Samoan Bulldozer Umaga and if Umaga wins Estrada advances.
JBL: I disagree Armando just beat Helms fair and square on Smackdown so why should he have to face him tonight?
JR: Fair and Square? I guess even Gods can delusional.
JBL: I choose to ignore that comment. So tonight Jimmy, we kick Monday Night off with a huge one on one match up with two of the WWE’s younger Superstars The Emerald Lad Marcus O’Hara and the death defying, high flying Evan Bourne.
EVAN BOURNE VS MARCUS O’HARA
Lillian: The following match up is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first from Dublin Ireland, weighing 235 pounds, Marcus O’Hara.
Marcus comes out to a pretty good pop, there are even a few people with sign dedicated to him.
JR: You know I can’t say I understand this kids lifestyle very well, but I have had a chance to talk to Marcus and he is actually a real nice guy, that is when he isn’t beating the crap out of you in the ring.
JBL: Well the fans seem to be behind this kid. I don’t know why he looks like a punk if you ask me, but he did beat up DJ Gabriel on Smackdown so that does score him some points in my books.
JR: But tonight, he faces Evan Bourne, who if ask me is looking past O’Hara.
JBL: I agree JR, O’Hara has proved to be someone you don’t look past and if Evan is this could be a short match tonight.
Lillian: Now introducing from St. Louis Missouri, weighing 183 pounds Evan Bourne.
JR: I am not sure why Bourne has been so obsessed with getting a match with Vampiro. As far as I know these two have never had a one on one match up. I just don’t understand what this kid is thinking?
JBL: Well it could be this mysterious master Bourne claims he serves, who has a beef with the Living vampire, I don’t know but you have to be crazy or a god to provoke someone as dangerous as Vampiro.
JR: Well let’s talk about this match up, what does each man need to do to win here?
JBL: Well both men have similar styles JR: Both can fly with the best of them but where they do differ is that I believe Marcus has the power edge here, but Bourne is used to facing people bigger and stronger so Jimmy I think this is going to be a heck of an exciting one on one match.
JR: Let’s not forget that Bourne is deadly with his feet. It could be is kicking ability that gives Bourne the W.
DING DING
Bourne and Marcus lock up. Right away O’Hara gets in a waist lock. Bourne counters with a go behind. Marcus rolls through and grabs Evan in a headlock. Evan pushes him off the ropes and comes back ducking a clothesline and executing an hip toss, then an arm drag. Marcus gets up and Bourne explodes with a standing drop kick, then a high spin kick to the chin.
He goes for the pin.
1...
Kick out.
JBL: Way to early for a cover Jimmy.
Bourne works the left arm with a quick arm bar, but Marcus is quick to his feet. Bourne shoves Marcus into the corner back first. Bourne runs full force but Marcus back drops him over the top rope. Bourne lands on his feet and clocks Marcus in the back of the head with a forearm. He climbs to the top rope and goes for a moonsault. Marcus ducks and Bourne comes up empty.
JBL: Bourne seemed to have this match in cruise control until his GPS failed him on that one.
Marcus sees Bourne getting to his feet and buries a knee to the gut. Marcus follows up with a swinging neck breaker and then gets on Evan’s back, sits Evan up, locks his arms under Evan’s and applies a chin lock.
JR: Marcus is no fool he’s got the arms locked so Evan can’t fight back.
Marcus pulls hard on the chin of Evan, who has to battle to his feet and runs Marcus back first into the turn buckle. Evan spins on a dime and tries for a spinning round house but Marcus ducks it and spears Evan to the ground. Marcus lays in a few shots to the head and waits for Bourne to get up. Bourne gets to his feet, Marcus quickly picks him up on his shoulder and slams him hard to the mat.
Marcus runs off the ropes , drops the leg, and hooks the leg for the cover.
1....
2...
Kick out
JR: What a big time leg drop, right to the face.
JBL: The Emerald Lad is feeling it here.
Marcus goes back to the attack on Evan’s neck now grinding his forearm into the back of his neck. Bourne battles to his feet and Marcus whips him off the ropes. Bourne comes back and leapfrogs over Marcus. Marcus turns around right into an explosive double knee shot to the face. Marcus is rocked and stumbles towards the ropes. Bourne runs full force and tries to clothesline him, but Marcus back drops him over the top rope. Bourne lands on his feet again.
JR: Like him or not, Evan is a phenomenal talent with amazing balance.
Marcus turns around not realizing that Bourne is waiting for him and turns right into a sling shot clothesline. Marcus falls down hard and Bourne smile confidently. He picks up Marcus and unloads with a huge European uppercut that sends Marcus down to his knees. Evan follows up with a running drop kick to the face and goes back to the arm, now locking in a Fujiwara armbar.
JBL: Well it looks like Evan did do a little home work, O’Hara’s finisher the Adrenaline Rush relies heavily on both Marcus arms. Taking that away could be what Bourne needs to do to win this match.
Marcus battles to his feet and frees himself, but Bourne is able connect with a spinning back kick to the gut winding Marcus. Bourne runs off the rope and come back with a flying head-scissors that takes O’Hara through the middle of the ropes. Marcus holds his arm on impact.
JR: Oh once again O’Hara’s arm has taken a lot of damage.
JBL: The arm is one of the best parts of the body to attack JR, you take one out and you can bet that its going to make it nearly impossible to get the win here.
Marcus slowly gets to his feet and Bourne slingshots over the top rope with a spring board cross body. Marcus though catches him and drops him hard with a gut buster. Marcus gets in the ring and begins to shake his left arm.
JR: You see O’Hara is trying to get some blood flowing into that left arm.
JBL: And Bourne right now is about to have his lunch flowing out of his mouth after that shot to the gut.
Marcus breaks the refs count and goes after Bourne. Bourne though connects with an uppercut on approach. Bourn crashes Marcus’ head off the apron and tosses him into the ring. Bourne than shouts out “TABLE TIME”
JR: Now come on Raw’s GM Y2J has forbid this being a tables match.
JBL: That’s not stopping Evan from turning this into one.
JR: A DQ will!
The ref begins to shout at Evan, who pulls out a table from under the ring. He is about to bring it in when O’Hara hits a baseball slide into the table sending Evan flying.
JR: A major mistake by Evan Bourne.
JBL: It could be the opening O’Hara was looking for to put him away..
O’Hara goes to the outside and crashes Bourne’s head off the apron and rolls him inside for a cover.
1...
2...
2.99
Shoulder up.
Marcus picks up Evan, connects with boot to the gut and follows it up with a Northern Lights suplex, bridging into a pin.
1.....
2....
2..99
Shoulder up.
JR: My god was that ever close.
Marcus picks up Bourne and goes for a powerbomb, but Evan fires off a series of punches to the face, frees himself landing in front of Marcus, then boots him in the gut and hits a face buster.
Bourne goes for a pin
1....
2....
2...99
Shoulder up.
JR: JBL, this match has been back and forth I don’t know who is going to win.
JBL: Me neither both of these young superstars are giving everything they have, to prove they belong in the WWE and if you ask me both have done so in this match.
Bourne hits a spin kick to the face, then runs to the top rope. He measures Marcus and once he gets to his feet, Bourne leaps off the top rope connecting with two knees to the face. Bourne crawls quickly for the cover,
1......
2.....
JBL: Ball Game.
2...99
Shoulder up.
JR: My god I thought that was a knock out blow but O’Hara got the shoulder up at the very last inch of a second. What a match.
JBL: What a way to kick off Monday Night Raw, these fans are loving this and so am I Jimmy..
Bourne shows some serious signs of frustration kicking the bottom ring rope. He then waits for Marcus to get up and slams him to the ground. He drags him to the corner.
JBL: Oh Bourne is thinking shooting star press here.
JR: If he, hits this no way Marcus is getting up from it.
Bourne climbs the top rope for the SHOOTING STAR PRESS!!
Just then Vampiro’s theme song TAKE THAT blasts over the P.A and Vampiro emerges from the entrance way.
JBL: WHAT THE HELL IS HE DOING HERE?! SECURITY! WHERE THE HELL IS PSYCHO SID COME ON!!?
JR: Well Jericho was none to happy about Bourne trying to turn tonight into a tables match, maybe he had Sid show some restraint here.
Bourne is distracted and turns his head for just a second and shouts “ WATCH THIS FANG FACE!” He leaps off but misses as Marcus has rolled away.
JR: Oh Bourne’s radar must be broken because that shot missed by a country mile.
JBL: That’s not all that might be broken, look at how Bourne is clutching at his ribs.
Marcus gets to his feet and measures Bourne for a boot the gut. He hooks both arms and hits the ADRENALINE RUSH.
Marcus goes for the pin.
1.....
2....
2...99
3.
HERE IS YOUR WINNER: MARCUS O’HARA
JR: That’s two in a row for the emerald lad and it looks like its Vampiro who is the one playing mind games tonight.
JBL: This is just wrong. Vampiro had no businesses being here.
JR: Well Vampiro said to be careful about what you wish for and it looks like Evan should have listened .
As Marcus is celebrating his win out of the stands rushes a man dressed all in black, with a black ski mask on his face. On the mask is a red coloured letter R. In his hand is a tire iron and he slides under the bottom rope. Marcus turns around and is blind-sided by this assailant. Just then from the back comes Big Sid running towards the ring.
JBL: Oh sure now Sid is here, where was he when Vampiro screwed over Evan Bourne?
The masked man takes off through the crowd, before Sid can get to him.
JBL: Please take us to commercial before I blow a damn gasket.
Commercial
Raw resumes and we go backstage to the Sinister Minister who is standing behind a red coloured wall as he strokes his beard .
Sinister Minister: Tonight marks the hour of Vampiro’s demise. It’s a sad thing really. He could have found a place here again in the New Church, but he has chosen the way of love. Sickening disgusting love. So tonight we strike against love and our newest member shall be the one who puts the stake right in Vampiro’s heart HA HA HA HA!!!!!
VAMPIRO VS MIDEON
JR: Now its time for what promises to be a barnburner of a match up. As Vampiro squares off against the New Church’s Mideon. John what’s your take on the rise of the New Church?
JBL: It simple, Mitchell has used a fundamental approach to any successful business. You start off small and slowly build up your empire until its too late for anyone to oppose you. That’s what Mitchell has done. He began with just Brimstone but now has brought in the likes of Mideon and the Great Muta into his congregation.
JR: And earlier tonight he has promised a new member one that would strike at the very heart of Vampiro. A mind game?
JBL: Perhaps, but Mitchell has made good on every claim he has made so far in the WWE, tonight could be no different. I think Vampiro is seriously outnumbered here.
Lillian: The following match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first representing the New Church and accompanied to the ring by the Sinister Minister James Mitchell and Claudia, weighing 285 pounds Mideon.
JR: Once a disciple of the Undertaker, now a proud member of Kool-aid Cult that is the New Church. Well with members like that you won’t catch me taking part in any of those bogus sermons.
JBL: I don’t know Jimmy if Mitchell can get a girl like Claudia to be with Mideon maybe there is something to this. My only issue is that I if there is any god that should be worshipped its Me!!
JR: I apologise to our viewers for that one. Still you did bring up a good point earlier about Vampiro being outnumbered. The man has no allies in the WWE and you can already see that with both Mitchell and Claudia at ringside that the numbers game has already been won by the New Church.
Mideon gets in the ring and awaits Vampiro.
“Take That:” blasts over the P.A
Lillian: Introducing his opponent, accompanied to the ring by Morganna, from Thunderbay Ontario Canada, weighing 262 pounds Vampiro!!!
JR: Well I am pleasantly surprised to see these two together.
JBL: But are they Together? As far as I know Vampiro went through hell for what? A kiss at Wrestlemania big woop.
As the two make their way to the ring Morganna joins the broadcast team.
JR: Well, Morganna this is actually a present surprise.
JBL: Yeah, Jimmy ever since the Bloodbath you have become a Vampires’ number one fan haven’t you?
Morganna: John, JR I want to make something very clear I am here to make sure that the Sinister Minster and Claudia play no part in this match up and that’s that.
JR: So, you’re not here because you have gotten back with Vampiro?.
Morganna: No, but I wasn’t going to watch someone I do care about become the victim of the New Church’s disgusting brand of theology. Besides long has Mitchell insulted not just Vampiro, or I but the entire Bloodline. Tonight I want a close up on what Vampiro is going to do to Mideon. Tonight he makes a martyr out of Mideon.
JBL: Well don’t put your fangs before the flesh because Mideon is as tough as they come and like Vampiro Mideon is fighting for what he believes in too.
Morganna: Which only points out what how crazy he is I can not wait to see him suffer the fate of all those foolish to mock both Vampiro and our kind.
JBL: Did you just call Mideon Crazy, no too easy.
DING DING.
As Vampiro get in the ring Mideon attacks with shot to the back and pulls Vampiro in. Mideon whips him off the ropes, Vampiro ducks a clothesline and comes back with a spinning heel kick, sending Mideon down. Mideon gets up and Vampiro unloads with an open hand strike to the throat and follows its with a round house kick to the ribs. Mideon falls and rolls to the outside.
JR: You can see Vampiro is using those educated feet to great effect to great effect in the early goings of this match up.
Mitchell gets on the apron, and yells at the referee to back Vampiro away. Vampiro turns his attention to Mitchell as Mideon slides under the ropes. Mideon spins Vampiro around and tries for clothesline but Vampiro ducks and connects with a shot to bread basket. He then whips Mideon into the corner and follows up with a running leg lariat. Mideon sinks down to the corner and Vampiro stomps away at him.
JR: So far this match is going exactly how Vampiro wants it to.
JBL: But come on you have to feel bad for Mideon. Vampiro provoked this match up, he did nothing wrong and it was Vampiro and Morganna here who interupted James Mitchell’s sermon an instigated this fight.
Morganna: The only things I feel for Mideon are disgust and a desire to see him suffer.
JBL: Oh but it was ok for you to try and set him up with Absinthe wasn’t it?
Meanwhile Vampiro continues the assault on Mideon whipping him off the ropes and connecting with an elbow to the face. He follows it up with a running clothesline sending Mideon back down. Vampiro whips Mideon into the corner and climbs up on Mideon and begins to unload with series of punches, which the fans count along with .
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10.
Vamp gets off of Mideon who comes out of the corner in a daze. Mideon falls against the ropes.
JR: Mideon’s bell has been rung over and over and now he can barely stand.
Vampiro looks to send Mideon over the top rope with a clothesline, but Mideon back drops him over the top rope.
JBL: And there is the difference maker right there.
JR: No Question Mideon needed some offence here, or this match was going to be over.
In the ring Mideon regroups, sees Vampiro getting up and connects with a baseball slide.
JBL: Vampiro’s dentist right now has to be thanking Mideon because he just got kicked by a nearly 300 pound man right in the teeth.
JR: A Very impressive move. There is no doubt about that.
Mideon goes to the outside and lays in a few shots on Vampiro and tosses him back in the ring. Mideon maintains the offence with a lariat then stomps away at the back of Vampiro. Mideon picks up Vampiro and delivers a huge GUT-WRENCH POWER-BOMB. Mideon hooks the leg for the pin.
1....
2....
2..99
Shoulder up.
Jr: One of the things I respect about Vampiro is that this man, will not quit and to beat him you have to pretty much render him unconscious.
JBL: I hate to admit it but most men would have been done in by that vicious powerbomb.
Mideon gets down on his knees and locks in a sleeper hold.
Morganna: Forget it Vampiro will never quit no matter what you do to him.
Mideon yells at the ref to check his arm. While the Sinister Minister makes a go to sleep motion and laughs evilly.
It goes up once and comes down. It goes up twice andit goes down.
Morganna takes off her head phones and shouts “COME ON IAN!!”
That seems to do it as Vampiro’s hand fails to fall for a third time. Vamp battles to his feet and unloads a series of elbows to mid-section to break the hold. Vampiro runs off the ropes and goes for a clothesline, but Mideon crosses him arms and blocks it. Quickly Mideon surprises Vampiro with a reverse neck breaker.
JR: The back of Vampiro’s skull just bashed off the canvas, and its well documented that Vampiro has suffered many a concussion as well.
JBL: I always Vampiro’s weakest spot was his head. That’s why I was always the brains of our team right Morganna.
Morganna: I never thought I would feel sorry for you Jim Ross, but JR I do, how do you put up with this guy?
JR: I really don’t know.
In the ring Mideon picks up Vampiro and kicks him in the mid-section three times. Mideon backs him into the corner. Mideon then begins to fire off a methodical set of punches to the head of Vampiro.
JBL: Mideon has brought this match down to his pace. He is slowly dissecting Vampiro and I love a good dissection as much as the next guy.
JR: And each shot is putting Vampiro that much closer to dream street, we could have a knock out on our hands.
Vampiro crawls out of the corner and Mideon hits a running kick to the head, then whips him corner to corner. Mideon runs in full force but Vampiro gets his feet up in the face. Mideon backs out of the corner groggy and tries again for a clothesline, but again Vampiro gets both boots up. This time he grabs Mideon by the head, leaps to the second rope and hits a TORNADO DDT!!
Morganan: YES!!!
JR: Just when you think he`s down and out Vampiro is back in this match up.
Vampiro is too hurt to go for a cover and rests in the corner. Mideon slowly gets up and Vampiro advances. Mideon rakes the eyes of Vampiro and whips him off the ropes. Mideon tries for a back body drop but Vampiro comes to a stop and drops low with an uppercut. Mideon is rocked and Vampiro connects with a SUPER KICK that sends Mideon right through the ropes.
Vampiro goes to the outside and fires a low spin kick to the gut, then smashes Mideon in the back with an axe handle . He crashes his head off the steel post and tosses Mideon into the ring. Vampiro climbs to the top rope and hits a spinning heel kick. Vampiro goes for a pin.
1.....
2....
2...99
Shoulder up.
JBL: I have been hit by that move JR, trust me it hurts. Mideon can`t have much left in the tank.
Vampiro gets to his feet and whips Mideon into the rope and runs in full force and hits a STINGER SPLASH! Vampiro let`s out a huge WOOO!!! Mideon comes out of the corner groggy and Vampiro hooks Mideon from behind and hits Reverse DDT.
Vampiro goes for the pin.
1....
2.....
2...99
The Sinster Minister puts his foot on the ropes.
Morganna: That`s it!
Morganna tosses off the headset and picks up a steel chair.
The Sinister Minister sees Morganna making chase and runs backstage as Morganna is in hot pursuit.
JR: James Mitchell is running as if the Devil himself was chasing him.
JBL: You mean herself JR. Trust me when I say the Devil is woman.
Vampiro watches the situation with a big grin on his face and turns back to Mideon who is still flat on his back. He makes the sign of the upside-down cross.
JR: Vampiro is looking to go for the Nail in the Coffin and if he hits its over.
Just then Claudia gets on the apron as Vampiro picks up Mideon and hits THE NAIL IN THE COFFIN and goes for the pin.
The ref is distracted as Claudia grabs the referee and begins to kiss him. Vampiro is furious and pulls the referee off of her. Vampiro grabs Claudia by the throat and pulls her in the ring.
JBL: There is your white knight JR. Choking out a woman. Vampiro is sick.
JR: Claudia got herself involved in this match.
Still with that choke-hold locked in Vampiro bring Claudia right into the middle of the ring.
The referee is pledging with Vampiro to let her go. Vampiro ignores him and CHOKE-SLAMS Claudia.
JBL: Damn it no, that`s a woman. Damn it NO!!!
The referee right away checks on Claudia and calls to the back for help. He helps Claudia to the outside as other officials come to help her.
Just then from under the ring comes THE GREAT MUTA, he gets on the apron. Vampiro is shocked to see his former friend interfering in this match and begins to have words with him. Muta then SPITS RED MIST IN THE FACE. Vampiro is blinded and walks right into Mideon who hits the EYE OPENER.
Mideon goes for the cover and the ref sees it and slides under the ropes for the count.
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2....
2..99
3.
Lillian: Here is your winner MIDEON!!!!!
JR: Vampiro was just screwed over by a man he considered for years as one of his good friends. I don’t believe it. Why would the Great Muta do that?
From the back comes the Sinister Minster and he has a huge smile on his face. He makes his way to the ring and orders Mideon and Muta to restrain Vampiro.
JBL:: Muta’s reasons for joining the New Church is indeed a mystery but what’s even harder to understand is how did James Mitchell escape the wrath of Morganna and that steel chair?
He grabs a microphone and gets in the ring.
Sinister Minister: HA HA HA!!! Oh Vampiro. Look at you now. This is where love leaves you. Where is your Morganna now? OH I KNOW. Yes I know where she is indeed. Vampiro I told you tonight our newest member would put a stake through your heart and SHE HAS!!!
JR: SHE?
On the Titantron stands Rockstar RONI JONAH over a fallen Morganna. Vampiro tries to fight his way to his feet but can’t.
JBL: We have not seen Roni in the WWE since she was defeated by Ariel!
The Sinister Minister begins to direct traffic and orders Mideon and Muta to attack Vampiro.
JR: No this is just wrong.
JBL: This is what happens when you beat on a woman. Serves him right.
Muta and Mideon stomp and punch away at Vampiro.
Just then RAVEN’S theme blasts over the P.A and outcomes Raven with a Kendo Stick.
JR: What in the world is Raven doing here.
JBL: Ha he hates Vampiro just as much as the New Church does. Maybe he’s going to join the party. Maybe I will too HA HA.
Raven runs in to the ring and smiles and says something to the Sinister Minster, who is surprised but tells his men to hold Vampiro in place. Raven measures Vampiro with the kendo stick, swings and hits
JAMES MITCHELL!!! Mideon and Muta both drop Vampiro and try to attack Raven. Raven first cracks Mideon in the head with the stick, then with one a fluid motion nails Muta in the ribs with it Both men leave the ring holding their bodies in pain.
.
The New Church leaves while Raven yells at them to come back.
JR: Raven just saved Vampiro? I Can’t believe it? That’s as unlikely as.. as..as
JBL: As me coming to his aid.
JR: What a chaotic series of events. Claudia Chokeslamed, Vampiro screwed over by the Great Muta, Morganna laid out by The New Church’s newest member Roni Jonah, and Raven attacking the New Church with a kendo stick. My god let’s take a break.
Commercial
The scene cuts to the Rock in a studio.
ROCK: Christian Cage you scrawny jabroni! You have the temerity, you have the nerve, to call the Great One a sell out? Then after the Rock responds to your allegations and your fluke win at Wrestlemania by giving you the Rock Bottom, you have the nerve to challenge the Rock to a match at Bad Blood? Well Christian let me respond to both of the things your flapping gums have said. Yes, the Rock is a sell out. The Rock has sold out Madison Square Garden, the Rock has sold out the Skydome in your home town of Toronto, the Rock has sold out the Reliant Astrodome, Safeco Field, the Anaheim Pond, the Fleet Center in Boston, and even Scotia Bank Place in Ottawa, the site of Bad Blood. The Rock has sold out Summerslam, Survivor Series, Royal Rumble, King of the Ring, Bad Blood and last but not least Wrestlemania after Wrestlemania after Wrestlemania! All of your so called Peeps only saw your so called classic ladder matches because they were on the undercard of pay per views headlined by the Rock! The Rock has sold out movie theatres too Christian. So yes the Rock is the ultimate sell out, the number one attraction, the biggest name on the marquee! As far as your little challenge goes, the Rock accepts. At Bad Blood you will face the pie eating, jabroni beating, trailblazing, eye brow raising People’s Champion the Rock! And the Rock, the Great One, will layeth the Smacketh down on your roody poo, candy ass! And when the dust settles and the smoke clears, when the Great One stands over your beaten carcass, the People will see the light, they will see through the lies, they will know their roles and they will do one thing. They will chant…the millions and millions of fans around the world will once again chant for the Rock…and you Christian will know YOUR role and SHUT YOUR MOUTH! IF YOU SMEEEEEELLLLAAAALLLOW! WHAT THE ROCK….IS COOKIN’!
Backstage Todd Grisham is standing by with The Lost Boy Billy Blade
TODD: I am standing by with Bloodline member the Lost Boy Billy Blade. What are your thoughts about your teammates’ involvement in the Pick Your Poison matches tonight?
BLADE: Todd, it’s like this, Edge is a-
Suddenly out of nowhere the Giant, wearing a suit, nails Blade with a huge punch to the back of the head! Blade goes down hard.
JR: My God what a shot! Billy Blade never saw it coming!
JBL: And it’s always the punch you don’t see that knocks you out!
GIANT: You freaks want to mess with me? Huh!? Well that was a BIG BIG MISTAKE!
Giant picks Blade up by the throat and chokeslams him through a nearby table!
JR: MY GOD!
Giant turns to leave, then stops and looks at Todd. Without warning he connects with a knockout punch and Todd is down and out!
JBL: YES! I LOVE IT!
Giant then calmly straightens his tie and walks away…
Back in the arena, Angelina’s music hits and she makes her way to the ring in an extremely revealing Cleopatra outfit accompanied by Dr. Williams.
JBL: I didn’t know the ancient Egyptians created the first bikinis!
JR: I don’t think that outfit is historically accurate…
JBL: Either way she looks amazing!
Angelina takes the mic.
ANGELINA: I have a few important things I need to say so I want everyone to pay close attention. For reasons I can’t disclose I was forced to go back to my old ways during the mixed tag team match on Smackdown. Now believe me people, I really didn’t want to do it. I had to do it. But once I got started, well…I really really enjoyed it. And so did my darling wife!
JR: Well isn’t that nice.
ANGELINA: You see there’s one thing I’ve always taken great pleasure in, from the days of my feud with Samantha Turbo…I’ve always loved taking a strong woman who opposed me, breaking her down, and making her do whatever I wanted! And it turns out my honey-buns here doesn’t mind that at all…it actually turns her on.
JBL: I’m liking this promo…
ANGELINA: Eve, at Wrestlemania I intended to screw over whoever I had to team with to teach the WWE a lesson. Now things didn’t quite go as I planned. I didn’t plan to be the one getting pinned and I didn’t plan on getting my head kicked off by you. When you did that, well hun you brought the rest of this on yourself. And I’m not satisfied with the dq win either. Since you came at me backstage and started that catfight, which was actually pretty hot by the way, I decided I’d make a challenge to you for Bad Blood. But this isn’t any old match either. This is a first ever to mark the beginning of the Sexual Revolution!
JR: What? Sexual revolution? What on earth is that?
JBL: I don’t have a clue but I like it already.
ANGELINA: What I am challenging you to Eve is the first ever Lumberjill Strip Club Brawl.
The crowd is already buzzing with excitement.
ANGELINA: Let me explain. Instead of being in the Scotia Bank Place arena in Ottawa, we’re going to set up the ring in an Ottawa strip club that has already agreed to host our match if you accept. I know you’ve done some dancing before you got to WWE so you should feel right at home there. The ring will be surrounded by WWE divas as well as a few of my friends. These lumberjills will come into play the same was as in a normal lumberjack match, they spring into action when one of us is thrown out of the ring. But this is the yummy part… they don’t throw you back in. Instead, they try to take your clothes off!
JBL: I like it!
ANGELINA: And that’s how you win. Think of it as a cross between a lumberjack and bra and panties match. But here’s the best part. This match is being held in a strip club and WWE can easily blank things out for the pay per view audience and the people watching on the Titantron in the arena. So as long as you aren’t too much of a wuss to accept and as long as management isn’t too gutless to go ahead with it, this match will end only when one of us is completely naked!
JR: Oh my…
JBL: I’d stand up to applaud but right now I can’t stand up!
Dr. Williams is whispering something in Angelina’s ear to which she nods and says “Good idea…”
ANGELINA: Now in case you’re wondering why my wife would be fine with this, well…we have a pretty open and adventurous marriage and she is turned on by my old dominating ways. We talked about this for a while and we’re looking for a good threesome to spice things up, plus she’d love to see me totally dominate, humiliate and degrade you to the point that you won’t want to show your face in WWE or in public again and will have no choice but to be our personal sex slave…
JR: What is wrong with this woman!?
ANGELINA: So Eve what do you say? Do you have the guts? I’ll give you until Superstars to give me an answer.
With that Angelina drops the mic and leaves the ring with Dr. Williams.
KING OF THE RING QUALIFYING MATCH: HURRICANE HELMS VS UMAGA (Wrestling for Armando Alejandro Estrada)
JR: As we touched on earlier tonight begins the first King of the Ring Qualifying Match and I am not going to get into how strongly I feel Chris Jericho has dropped the ball on this one. Estrada should have to earn his place in the King of the Ring tournament just like everyone else.
JBL: He did earn his spot, he beat Helms last week, its bogus that he hasn’t just been given a spot based on his over-whelming clean as a whistle, victory over Hurricane Helms on Smackdown.
JR: Hey is the Cuban Cigar in your pocket?
JBL: Well I am sure as hell not happy to see you, so yeah what’s your point.
Lillian: The following match is a KING OF THE RING QUALIFYING MATCH. Introducing first from Smithfield, North Carolina, weighing 191 pounds HURRICANE HELMS.
Helms makes his way to the ring to a huge pop and high fives his fans.
JR: This is my definition of the crying shame. Why should Huricane Helms have to face Umaga in this match?
JBL: This is the WWE. you have to be up to the challenge. Do you think I ever backed down from the likes of the Undertaker or Kane. NO I rose the challenge.
JR: If my memory serves me correct you did everything in your power to get out of those matches first.
JBL: Well your memory is wrong.
JR: By any means, John what do you think Helms needs to do to win this match?
JBL: Weather the Storm JR. Weather the Storm. Hope Umaga makes a mistake and capitalize on it. If Helms can do that. he might be able to get the win. MIGHT, JR MIGHT.
Lilllian: His opponent accompanied to the ring by Armando Alejandro Estrada, from the Isle of Samoa, weighing in at 350 pounds. UMAGA
JBL: Now could you ask for a better insurance policy than this man Umaga?
JR: NO I don’t think so. Now, we have not seen The Samoan Bulldozer since that hellacious tag team match against the Brothers of Destruction at Wrestlemania.
JBL: A match that saw Umaga receive one of the most impressive Tombstones of the Undertaker’s career and a double choke slam from both Kane and The Undertaker. Add that to all the other forms of punishment handed out by the Big Red Machine and the Phenom and there is a reason Umaga has not wrestled till now. I even wonder if he’s a 100 percent now. Come to think of it you will never be 100% after facing off against those two monsters.
Ding Ding.
Helms stares into the eyes of the Samoan Savage and Umaga tries to unload with a shot. Helms ducks and begins to fire of a flurry of quick jabs to the head. They have little effect and Umaga buries a kick into Helm’s stomach. Umaga tries to crash Helms’ head off the turnbuckle but Helms’ blocks it by placing his foot on the bottom turnbuckle. Helms backs off Umaga with an elbow to the chin, then fires off a few more blows backing Umaga into the centre of the ring. Helms runs off the ropes thinking clothesline but Umaga connects with an open handed uppercut right to the throat. Helms goes right down to the mat.
JR: That shows the incredible strength advantage Umaga has here John. He sent Helms down with just one punch.
Umaga picks Helms up and delivers a hard shot knocking Helms down again. Umaga grabs Helms by the head and chokes him out with the middle rope. Umaga breaks the choke at 4 but shouts in Samoan at the referee.
JBL: I don’t speak Samoan but I don’t think Umaga was apologizing to referee Charles Robinson.
Umaga picks up Helms who is trying to crawl to the outside. Helms explodes with a series of shots to the mid section and runs off the ropes but Umaga takes him back down with a simple shoulder check.
JR: Anytime Helms seems to generate any kind of offence Umaga puts an end to it quickly.
Umaga stomps Helms twice, picks him up and unloads with a serious head butt.
JBL: Helms needs to get some offence here, he can’t afford to get grounded this early in the match up.
Umaga again beings to shout in Samoan and backs Helms into the corner. Umaga unloads with two knife edge chops to the chest, then Irish whips him.
JR: MY god the velocity that Huricane Helms impacted with could have done some serious damage to the back.
JBL: Add that to the impact of those two knife edge chops and Hurricane’s chest is turning a painful shade of red.
Estrada laughs and shouts “That’s it Umaga destroy him ha ha. “
JBL: I bet Estrada isn’t the only one enjoying this, right now Edge has to have a grin as big as the Cheshire Cat.
JR: I guess its money well spent as far as the Rater R Superstar is concerned.
Umaga builds up steam and tries for a Stinger Splash but Helms moves out of the way and Umaga crashes against the turnbuckle stomach first.
JR: That could be the mistake Helms needs to start generating some offence here.
Helms climbs on top of Umaga and unloads a series of blows.
1
2
3
4
5
6
Umaga swats Helms off of him. Umaga comes out of the corner groggy. Helms hits a running clothesline jarring Umaga against the ropes. Helms runs off the ropes again, but this time Umaga sends him flying over the top rope with a back body drop. Helms lands on his feet, but Umaga quickly turns and hits a SAVATE KICK right to the jaw. Helms goes flying, crashing against the security barrier.
JR: Damn it the kid just can’t win here. Umaga has dominated this entire match so far.
Umaga brings Helms back in the ring and slams him hard to the mat and locks in a nerve hold to the trapezes muscle. Helms grimaces in pain but battles to his feet. He unloads with a kick to the gut and punches the face, rocking Umaga. Helms runs off the ropes but Umaga catches him with a SAMOAN DROP.
JR: That out to do it right there. Helms is out.
JBL: Again Umaga counters any kind of offence that Helms can muster.
Umaga doesn’t go for a cover and instead climbs to the second rope and leaps off with a headbutt, but Helms moves and Umaga crashes his head right off the mat.
JBL: Big Mistake by Umaga he should have gone for the cover.
JR: COME ON KID, This is your chance.
Helms gets to his feet, climbs to the top rope and takes down Umaga with a missile drop kick.
He goes for a cover.
1...
2....
Umaga POWERS OUT!!!
JBL: Umaga still has a lot more in him mark my words.
Umaga slowly gets to his feet and Helms rocks him with a flying clothesline. Helms keeps up the pace and flies off the ropes hitting a clothesline. Then he comes off the ropes and clocks Umaga in the back of the head with a leaping forearm. Umaga doesn’t go down though but teeters on his legs. Helms tries for a boot to the gut, but Umaga catches his foot. Helms counters with a Enziguri sending Umaga down.
JBL: This is exactly what Helms needs to do JR, stay one step ahead of this 300 pound monster.
JR: And listen to these fans JBL, they are 100% behind Hurricane Helms.
Helms goes for a cover
1....
2...
2...99
KICK OUT.
Umaga gets to his feet and Helms runs off the ropes. Umaga tries for a back body drop but Helms leaps over him and is thinking Sunset Flip. Umaga teeters a bit but gets his bearings and goes for a butt drop. Helms avoids it and Umaga crashes down hard on the mat. Helms runs off the ropes and hits the SHINING WIZARD.
1.....
2....
JR: SHINING WIZARD MAY DO IT!
2..99
Estrada shouts out ``NO UMAGA KICK OUT COME ON!!”
Shoulder up.
JBL: NO way, Umaga just has too much strength and resilience. It`s going to take an actual hurricane to defeat this man.
Helms looks like he`s about to cry but gathers his composure and goes to the top rope. He measures Umaga for a cross body and jumps. Umaga catches him though and hits a huge spinning side slam and goes for a cover.
1....
2....
2..99
Shoulder up.
JBL: Even I for a while thought the Hurricane could achieve the impossible, but reality has sunk in for all of us here JR.
JR: Well don`t count this kid out yet, there is still a lot of fight in the heart of Hurricane Helms.
Umaga picks up Helms and Estrada gets on the Apron, with a cigar in hand and snaps it in half.
JBL: You know what that means.
JR. SAMOAN SPIKE!
Umaga goes for it but Helms ducks and Umaga hits the referee with the SAMOAN SPIKE!
JR: Oh, what a unfortunate miss by Umaga.
JBL: Maybe for Umaga and the referee but not for Hurricane Helms.
Estrada sees the referee is out and he tosses in a chair to Umaga.
Umaga smiles and shouts in Samoan. He swings and connects busting open Helms.
JBL: Good Night Helms is done JR.
JR: My God Helms is donning the proverbial crimson mask.
Estrada directs Umaga to set Helms up for the Samoan Wrecking ball. He drags Helms into the corner and walks to the opposing corner.
Just then from the back running full force comes TOSHIO! He pulls out Umaga’s feet just as he starts to run towards Helms. Umaga lands hard face down on the mat and Toshio slides in, stunning him with a kick to the side of the head. Toshio sets the chair up on Umaga’s hair and executes a Marital Arts stomp right to the back of the head.
JBL: What the Hell is this idiot doing here?! Does he have a death wish? Provoking Kane, The Undertaker and now his former tag team partner. What the hell is wrong with him.
Toshio drags a bloody Helms on top of Umaga and wakes up the referee.
1.....
2....
JBL: NO!!
3.
Lillian: Here is your winner HURRICANE HELMS!
JR: A very unlikely assist for Hurricane Helms has just cost Armando Estrada a spot in the King of The Ring.
JBL: All I know is when the Samoan Bulldozer wakes up he’s going to be in a bad mood and if I were Toshio I would be on a plane out of Indiana, heading to another continent.
JR: What I don’t understand is why Toshio did this? He and Umaga were partners! As far as I know there was never any conflict between them!
Commercial
Backstage, both Edge and Kevin Thorn are in Jericho’s office with Sid standing between them in case a fight breaks out.
JERICHO: This won’t take long. To decide which match goes first, I’ve decided to do a simple coin toss. Whoever’s side comes up gets to go first…
EDGE: Jericho if it’s tails my match should go first since I’ll be getting a piece of tail after I win…
Thorn lunges forward but Sid gets in the way.
SID: Save it for Bad Blood Thorn!
EDGE: Yeah save it
SID: SHUT UP! This is just a coin toss! And for the record I am going to sit outside your locker rooms for the other guy’s match to make sure you don’t do a run in!
THORN: That suits me fine. Gangrel will handle Edge on his own.
EDGE: Yeah we’ll see what you say about Gangrel when Ariel spends the weekend with me!
JERICHO: STOP IT! Ok I’m flipping now…
He flips it onto his desk.
JERICHO: Heads. Thorn vs Hannibal is first.
THORN: First Hannibal chokes on his words and gags on his own blood. And then something worse happens to you at Bad Blood.
He leaves and for just a split second Edge looks very concerned…
SID: I have to say boss, I like that guy’s style.
JERICHO: Uh yeah he’s great.
PICK YOUR POISON EXTREME RULES MATCH: KEVIN THORN VS HANNIBAL
LILLIAN: The following contest will be contested under Extreme Rules and it is a Pick Your Poison stipulation match. If Kevin Thorn wins the match he will get to choose the type of match when he meets Edge at Bad Blood.
“Iron Man” hits and the crowd immediately begins booing.
LILLIAN: Introducing first, from Ottawa, Ontario, Canada, weighing 295 pounds, The WWE Extreme Rules Champion HANNIBAL
Hannibal comes out alone and raises his hands arrogantly, drawing even more boos.
JR: What does Hannibal stand to gain by taking this match JBL?
JBL: Well JR simply put if Hannibal beats the reigning WWE champion he assures himself of a title shot in the near future. I’m not sure if Extreme Rules favours Hannibal or not, that remains to be seen.
Hannibal poses on the apron leaning back on the ropes, then gets in the ring and poses on the turnbuckles mouthing off.
JR: Psycho Sid will be watching carefully to make sure no one tries to help Hannibal. Not that he needs help, he is a monster!
LILLIAN: And his opponent, representing the Bloodline and accompanied by Ariel, weighing 275 pounds, he is the co holder of the WWE tag team championship and the reigning WWE Champion, KEVIN THORN
Thorn and Ariel walk to the ring, Ariel’s hand on his shoulder. Ariel is dressed in a revealing plaid outfit.
JBL: Plaid never looked so good…
She looks confident but Thorn looks furious the entire way to the ring. The champion is carrying a walking stick in one hand, his tag team belt on his shoulder, and he’s wearing the WWE title belt.
JR: I have to think the results of that coin toss are better for Thorn. If Edge and Gangrel went first and Edge won, it would be so hard for Thorn to focus on this match knowing Ariel has to spend a weekend alone with Edge!
Thorn leans the walking stick against the apron and hands his titles to a ring attendant. Ariel hangs upside down off the ropes and Hannibal grins, then sticks out his tongue grotesquely, while admiring her backside.
JBL: Hannibal obviously likes what he sees…
Thorn explodes with rage and slides in still wearing his entrance jacket to attack!
JR: The fight is on!
Hannibal and Thorn exchange blows in the middle of the ring. Hannibal knees Thorn in the gut and whips him into a corner but runs into a boot, followed by a brutal clothesline knockdown. Thorn pulls off the ring jacket and chokes Hannibal with it.
JBL: Thorn is wasting no time at all exploiting the no dq rule!
Thorn uses the jacket around Hannibal’s neck to whip him into a corner and hits a corner clothesline. Thorn hammers away on Hannibal and tries an Irish whip but Hannibal puts on the brakes and pulls him into a short clothesline. Hannibal stomps away at Thorn, then chokes him on the middle rope.
JBL: No count here, Hannibal can choke Thorn as long as he likes.
Hannibal pulls Thorn up, bodyslams him and stomps on his chest. He backs the champion into a corner and hits several knees and forearm shots. Hannibal goes for an Irish whip but Thorn twists out of it and clotheslines him. As Hannibal gets up, Thorn hits a sit down jawbreaker, then runs the ropes and kicks him right in the face!
JR: What a slobberknocker of a shot!
Thorn gets into the mount position and goes crazy, reigning down punches to the face. Hannibal is trying to cover up and actually struggles out under the ropes to get away!
JR: I can’t believe it, Hannibal actually bailed out!
Thorn follows and rams Hannibal into the announce table, then into the barricade. Hannibal leans on the barricade looking dazed and Thorn goes to work with brutal punches while Ariel is nodding, shouting encouragement and smiling enthusiastically. Thorn goes for a whip into the steps but Hannibal reverses and the champion hits back first! Ariel gasps and covers her mouth in horror.
JBL: I think this match will be decided by who uses the right weapon and lands the most impactful shot and that one definitely puts Hannibal in the driver’s seat.
Hannibal picks up the top half of the steps and slams them onto Thorn’s back!
JR: Hannibal is the first to actually pick something up and use it as a weapon which is not really a surprise.
Thorn thrashes in agony and rolls into the ring. Hannibal follows and hits a sidewalk slam . 1………………..2……………….kickout. Hannibal clubs away at the back. Thorn stumbles into the ropes but fires off a big right hand of his own. Hannibal retaliates, Thorn fires back again, then begins to back Hannibal up with punches.
JBL: Thorn is getting the better of it!
Hannibal cuts off the comeback with a knee to the midsection and a belly to belly suplex. 1……………….2…………..kickout. He tries to set up for the gutwrench powerbomb but Hannibal shoves him back and catches him coming off the ropes with a one man flapjack!
JR: What a counter! That’s a near 300 pound man he did that to!
Hannibal rolls to the ropes holding his face. When he gets up Thorn clotheslines him out of the ring. He follows and rams Hannibal’s head into the bottom half of the steps…then again…then a third time…then he snaps and does it faster and faster until Hannibal slumps down!
JBL: This is what happens when you tell a guy like Kevin Thorn there are no rules, he tries to permanently rearrange his opponent’s face. Hannibal is already bleeding.
The sight of Hannibal’s blood only fires Thorn up and he goes to work with punches to the wound, then rams Hannibal head first into the ring post! Hannibal falls hard to the floor and Thorn kneels down, bashing his head off the floor!
JR: I don’t like to sound vindictive or one sided but if anyone ever deserved this it’s Hannibal!
Thorn tosses Hannibal into the ring, lifts him up into a Torture Rack, carries him to the middle of the ring and hits a sitdown backbreaker! Thorn hooks the leg. 1…………………..2……………….Hannibal kicks out.
Thorn rolls to the outside and pulls a table out from under the ring. He is just about to put it in the ring when Hannibal runs over and kicks him in the face through the ropes, knocking him down.
JBL: You can’t afford to give a guy like Hannibal any breathing room!
Hannibal rolls out of the ring, grabs the ring bell and hits Thorn in the face! He falls to his knees against the apron and Hannibal bites into his forehead as blood begins to flow!
JR: Both men are bleeding early and will likely wear the proverbial crimson mask before this match is over!
Hannibal rolls Thorn into the ring and grabs a chain from under the ring. He hits Thorn in the head with it through the ropes, then rolls in. As Thorn gets to his knees, Hannibal chokes him from behind with the chain! Ariel is screaming in protest and begging Thorn to get out of the situation.
JBL: This is as legal as a headlock in this match JR! Anything goes!
Thorn is turning red but grabs the loose end of the chain and swings it upward right into Hannibal’s forehead! Hannibal goes down hard holding his face.
JR: The WWE champion is a resourceful vampire as well as a vicious and short tempered one!
Both men get up. Thorn wraps the chain around his fist and punches Hannibal in the stomach with it! Hannibal goes down in pain. Thorn raises his feet and says, “This is for Morganna!”
THORN HITS A LOW BLOW WITH THE CHAIN!
JR: MY GOD!
JBL: Some things are just wrong even in an Extreme Rules match!
Hannibal rolls around in pain holding his agonized groin. As he tries to get to his knees, Thorn begins to choke him with the chain!
JR: Turnabout is fair play…
Hannibal’s eyes are bulging and Ariel shouts, “YES CHOKE HIM OUT KEVIN, PULL!”
Hannibal manages to hit a low blow to free himself.
JBL: Remember JR turnabout is fair play.
Both men get up and Hannibal hits an overhead belly to belly suplex on Thorn! 1…………………….2…………………..shoulder up!
JR: What amazing power! Kevin Thorn is a 275 pound man and Hannibal suplexed him overhead with ease!
Hannibal goes outside the ring and grabs a steel chair. He rolls back in but Thorn meets him with a running kick to the ribs before he can stand up. Hannibal manages to hold on to the chair and jam it into Thorn’s ribs!
JBL: That took some determination there JR, give him credit. Most people would have lost their grip on the chair!
Hannibal stands up and hits Thorn in the head with the chair! Ariel screams and grabs her head. 1…………………….2…………………….
Thorn gets the shoulder up!
Hannibal curses. He picks up the chair and looks to hit Thorn as he gets to his knees, but Thorn hits an upwards axehandle shot to the chair, sending it flying back into Hannibal’s face!
JR: I don’t think I’ve ever seen that before!
Both men get up and Thorn hits Hannibal with a huge sitout spinebuster! Ariel nods with a smile as Thorn makes the cover.
1………………………….
2…………………………
Hannibal gets the shoulder up! Thorn looks frustrated, then jerks Hannibal to his feet, gutwrenches him up into an overhead backbreaker, then hits a sitdown backbreaker. 1…………………………..2….Hannibal kicks out.
JR: Even a man as powerfully built as Hannibal can’t withstand too many more of these high impact moves from Kevin Thorn. The human anatomy isn’t designed for that kind of abuse!
Thorn sets Hannibal up to try the Dark Kiss but Hannibal rakes the eyes and gets his feet on the apron.
JBL: That was a close call!
Thorn turns and hits a boot, sending Hannibal flying off the apron to the floor!
JR: Oh my God what a fall! This could be the deciding point of this match!
Thorn goes out and picks up the top half of the steps that Hannibal used earlier.
JBL: Like we’ve been saying turnabout is fair play.
As Hannibal stands up Thorn tosses the steps right into his face! Hannibal goes down clutching his head and shouting in pain.
JR: One or both of these men is likely to be seriously injured here! It wouldn’t surprise me at all if Hannibal has a concussion after that!
Thorn walks over to get a kiss from Ariel!
JBL: I can’t blame Thorn for wanting a kiss but I think he needs to keep focused on the match and not give Hannibal even a second to rest!
Thorn turns back to Hannibal, hits several punches to his even bloodier head as he gets up to his knees, then rams him head first into the barricade. He then pulls another table out from under the ring. Hannibal gets up but Thorn hits him in the face with the table!
JBL: I don’t think he plans to set a table for dinner unless the main course is Hannibal’s blood!
Thorn stands the table against the ring post and rams Hannibal into it face first. Hannibal goes down hard, leaving a bloody face print on the table. Thorn picks him up and does it again!
JR: Hannibal brought every bit of this punishment onto himself! He has said so many hideous things about both Morganna and Ariel!
Thorn rolls him into the ring, then slides in.
JR: I have to believe Kevin Thorn has even more evil intentions with that table…
Thorn pulls the table in and leans it against the corner. He turns and starts to pull Hannibal to his feet, but Hannibal scoops him up by both legs and drives him backwards THROUGH THE TABLE!!! Ariel cries out in anguish.
JR: GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY! THAT’LL BE ALL!
Hannibal hooks the leg. 1…………………………..2…………………….
2.9999………….
Shoulder up! Hannibal shouts with frustration and slumps down on the mat.
JBL: That was almost a modified spinebuster through a standing table and Kevin Thorn kicked out! What a match!
As Thorn tries to get up Hannibal locks in a Cobra Clutch.
JBL: With the blood loss and the punishment Thorn has taken this could be the match ender right here.
Thorn tries to fight to his feet while Hannibal is leaning all his weight down on him.
JR: Hannibal is not only cutting the flow of blood to the brain, he is also forcing Thorn to carry his body weight. It may not take long to make him pass out.
The pressure actually causes the blood flow from the wound in Thorn’s head to increase. Ariel is pounding her hands on the apron and screaming “COME ON KEVIN!” Hannibal smiles evilly and shouts, “SO MUCH FOR YOUR CHAMPION!” Thorn suddenly lurches forward and sends Hannibal face first into a turnbuckle. The Apocalyptic Nightmare staggers back holding his nose.
JBL: Whoa that was a beautiful counter. It broke the hold and maybe broke Hannibal’s nose too!
Thorn gets to his feet but Hannibal connects with a boot to the head. He goes for the pin but Thorn kicks out at two.
JR: I thought that counter into the turnbuckle was going to turn the tide but I was wrong.
Hannibal slams Thorn and begins to climb up the turnbuckles with his back to Thorn, planning to drop a reverse elbow. Thorn gets up and grabs the shocked Hannibal from behind, pulling him off the turnbuckles with a reverse bodyslam! Thorn falls to a seated position in the corner to catch his breath while Hannibal rolls around gasping for air.
JBL: Another innovative move! Hannibal was slammed down onto his stomach from the middle rope!
Both men stand but Thorn runs over Hannibal with a big clothesline, then another, then gives him a kneeling spinebuster. Hannibal rolls to his stomach before he can go for a pin, but Thorn instead walks over to Ariel and holds out his hand.
JBL: I hope this isn’t going to be another romantic break! Thorn needs to follow up on that big time spinebuster!
She hands him his walking stick.
JR: Business is about to pick up.
Thorn circles around as Hannibal gets up. When he turns Thorn hits him right in the face with the walking stick! Hannibal goes down holding his head and Thorn rams the end into his ribs, then his throat, then snaps and begins furiously beating Hannibal with the walking stick!
JBL: HE’S LOST IT!
Hannibal is trying to roll away from the shots unsuccessfully.
JR: He is beating Hannibal to a bloody pulp!
Finally Thorn stops and holds up the now bent walking stick to the cheers of the fans.
JR: That thick wooden stick is bent from the force of those blows right onto the body of Hannibal!
JBL: And these sick people love it!
Thorn covers. 1……………………………….2……………………….
Shoulder up!
JBL: How tough is this guy? Most people would be out cold after being beaten like that!
Thorn pulls Hannibal up, sends him into the ropes and hits the dreaded reverse elbow to the jaw!
JR: I swear I heard a crack!
Hannibal is holding his jaw in pain and Thorn hooks the leg. 1………………….
2………………………………..
2.9999………………………
SHOULDER UP!
JBL: That elbow has knocked out the likes of the Great Khali but Hannibal still kicked out! This is what being a champion in the WWE is all about, you wrestle the match like you’re in someone else’s body and to hell with the price you have to pay for it!
Hannibal rolls to his hands and knees and spits out a big gob of blood, looking ill as blood stained drool hangs from his mouth.
JR: My God…
JBL: Kevin Thorn told Psycho Sid that Hannibal would choke on his own words and gag on his own blood and it looks like he lived up to that promise.
JR: I assume that blood is from his mouth after the elbow, but it could be internal bleeding after that beating with the walking stick.
Thorn stumbles over, then sets up the Crucifix Powerbomb.
JBL: There’s no way he can do this to Hannibal, especially not after the beating he has taken!
Thorn gets him up. Hannibal is too dazed to resist and only has time to open his eyes wide with shock before Thorn hits the Crucifix Powerbomb!
JR: MY GOD THAT HAS TO BE ALL!
Thorn falls into a cover.
1…………………….
2…………………….
2.9999………………..
SHOULDER UP!
JBL: I don’t believe it! How on earth did Hannibal kick out of that!?
Thorn and Ariel exchange shocked looks. Thorn then goes to set up the Dark Kiss but Hannibal pounds free and drops to the apron. Thorn tries to pull him back in but Hannibal hangs him up on the ropes.
He runs in and nearly takes Thorn’s head off with a huge clothesline. Thorn gets up but Hannibal hits a German Suplex!
1…………………….
2………………………..
Shoulder up!
Hannibal is furious and gets into a mount position, hammering away at Thorn.
JR: Both of these men have to be running on fumes at this point.
Hannibal grabs the chair and hits Thorn with a chair shot to the head that has him on spaghetti legs. Ariel holds her head and looks on in dismay. Hannibal then sets Thorn up and hits the Gutwrench Powerbomb! Ariel shouts in shock.
JBL: BALL GAME!
1………………………..
2…………………………..
Ariel is screaming, “KICK OUT KEVIN!”
2.9999…………….
THORN GETS THE SHOULDER UP!
Hannibal looks at the ref in disbelief and then slaps the mat over and over in frustration.
JR: What on earth will Hannibal have to do to beat Kevin Thorn?
JBL: When you hit a man with your finishing maneuver as Hannibal has done and can’t put him down for the count it does one of two things. It either pushes you to go that much further or it totally demoralizes you.
Hannibal drags in the first table Thorn pulled from under the ring and sets it up. He then gets Thorn on it and pounds him to keep him stunned.
JBL: I have no idea what on earth Hannibal is looking to do now.
Hannibal climbs to the top rope but Thorn gets off the table and punches him, causing Hannibal to get crotched.
JR: Oh what a malfunction at the junction for Hannibal.
Thorn picks up the bent walking stick and hits Hannibal in the head again! The top of the walking stick breaks off from the impact!
JBL: He just broke that wooden walking stick over Hannibal’s head!
Hannibal is still seated on the top rope with no idea where he is. Thorn pushes the table closer to him, then hooks his head. Ariel claps and gestures for him to hit the move…
JBL: NO! Not through a table you sick freak!
DARK KISS THROUGH THE TABLE!!!
JR: Good God almighty he’s broken in half!
Thorn rolls Hannibal onto his back and slumps onto him for the pin while Ariel kneels on the apron and lean half way in the ring with a huge smile, counting along with the ref.
1……………..
2……………………
3!
HERE IS YOUR WINNER KEVIN THORN
Ariel slides into the ring and moves over to Thorn who is on one knee. She takes hold of his head and presses it to her breasts while kissing the wound on his head. Thorn responds by kissing up the side of her neck as he gets to his feet, then picks her up. Ariel wraps her legs around Thorn’s waist and he turns so she can hang upside down and bad mouth the fallen Hannibal.
JR: This is certainly a unique post match celebration…
Thorn then walks towards the ropes. With her legs still around Thorn, Ariel grabs the ropes and pulls herself through them. Thorn then follows, collects his titles, and they walk up the aisle together…
JR: Well after that display it certainly doesn’t look like Ariel has any desire to be with Edge!
JBL: Hey, Gangrel has three vampire chicks. Why can’t Ariel want more than one man?
PICK YOUR POISON: EDGE VS GANGREL
JR: This next contest is so personal. Two elements that are really capturing attention are the revelations Gangrel made about Edge’s past and the stipulation involving Ariel.
JBL: Well let’s talk about Ariel first since she is a lot more interesting than some kind of twisted blood transfusion. You know everyone makes Edge look like the bad guy but that’s not true, she started this by coming on to Edge!
JR: You’re wrong about that JBL. Let’s look at a quick history recap to see when this really started!
The recap begins with Edge in the ring volunteering to let Kevin Thorn choose an opponent for him since he had selected Los Conquistador to fight Thorn. At the end of the challenge Edge says, “I wouldn’t mind going a few rounds with Ariel” with a lecherous smile on his face. That comment inspired Ariel and Thorn to use Edge’s Rated R ways and his ego against him. Ariel flirtatiously responded to Edge backstage. At first the Rated R Superstar wasn’t too concerned about it, dismissing it as a mind game. But Ariel persisted, sending him photos of her casket photo shoot with a note filled with double entendres. During Edge’s match with the Giant Ariel licked his lips and patted him on the backside to fire him up. In his promos leading up to Wrestlemania Edge implied he and Ariel shared something special, and at Wrestlemania vowed that he would have a live sex celebration with her after winning the WWE title. Was Edge just playing mind games of his own, or did he really believe Ariel was interested in him? During the WWE title match at Wrestlemania, Ariel distracted Edge with a lapdance while Kevin Thorn did some major damage to Randy Orton. Although Ariel openly supported Thorn, JBL continued to imply that she was just covering her yearning for Edge. In the closing moments of the match, Ariel got on the apron, coldly ignored Edge and passionately kissed Thorn. Despite his claims that he never fell for any of the mind games, Edge appeared to be livid and humiliated. After Wrestlemania, Kevin Thorn revealed that the intent behind the flirtations was to embarrass Edge by using his ego against him and to give him a bit of time to dismantle Orton so that he could then focus on Edge. Edge for his part covered up any humiliation he felt by simply boasting about getting a lapdance and a Wrestlemania moment. But then he invited Ariel onto the Cutting Edge and proposed a Pick Your Poison challenge with a unique twist. If Kevin Thorn beat his chosen opponent he would get to choose any type of match when he and Edge went one on one. But if Edge won his match, he would get a weekend alone with Ariel. Goaded by Edge’s mockery of her belief in the tarot cards, Ariel accepted the challenge without consulting Thorn, who was livid. Edge chose Hannibal to face Thorn, while Thorn chose Gangrel to face Edge.
But Edge was not the only one with a bombshell to drop. After recounting his history against Edge, Gangrel reminded the WWE universe that he once said “The Blood of Gangrel flows through your veins…eternity is forever Edge!”
Edge was upset by the remark and Gangrel’s refusal to be goaded into a last minute Intercontinental title match and assaulted Michael Cole in a fit of rage. Then, earlier this evening, Gangrel explained his comments in an interview with Maria:
WWE.com exclusive the day of Raw. Maria is standing by in the Bloodline’s red lit locker room with Gangrel, who still wears sunglasses even in this gloomy environment.
MARIA: Gangrel everyone knows about your history with Edge and are eagerly anticipating the Pick Your Poison match you have coming up with him later tonight. But what people are really wondering about is what you mean by “The blood of Gangrel flows through your veins.” I had a theory that maybe he had a car accident and you gave him a blood transfusion, and now he doesn’t want the world to know you saved his life. But everyone thinks I’m crazy.
GANGREL: Haha, that’s a good theory Maria and it actually would be true of Edge’ s character to suppress something like that. But it isn’t what happened. At least not exactly.
MARIA: I was close?
GANGREL: Closer than you may think. Let me tell you and the WWE universe the story from the beginning Maria. I first met Edge on the independent wrestling scene. He called himself Sexton Hardcastle then. When I first knew him, he had the same two dominant character traits he has now.
MARIA: Umm, arrogance and underhandedness?
GANGREL: Haha nice try but incorrect. His arrogance I think is partly earned by his success, and partly to cover up something deeper. The underhandedness is merely a by product of one of his deeper traits. Those traits are rage and insecurity. People today forget it but when Edge first came to the WWE he was a very angry young man who kept to himself and attacked his opponent with reckless abandon. You can still see that trait today sometimes, when things don’t go Edge’s way. The mask of arrogance cracks and he reveals his anger. Look at what he did to Michael Cole this week when I just made mention of his gothic past. As for insecurity, even before I knew him Edge desired one thing above all else. To not only make it to the WWE but to be the very best. It is a lofty ambition and it made him highly strung and insecure because for Edge, anything less than total success was failure.
MARIA: How did this lead to him going gothic?
GANGREL: Going gothic…I like that. This is the thing with Edge. As Kevin noted before Wrestlemania, in his youth, much like today, he was the “cool guy” who would bully or humiliate others to get a laugh or make himself feel good. But at the same time he was a misfit then. He got to hang out with the cool crowd but his obsession with being the greatest wrestler in the world unnerved people. It made them think he was weird…cool but weird. His intensity scared people off. And like any young person he wanted to fit in. That’s how he came to join up with me. When we spoke on the road, I always told him to relax, he was too good not to make it. He thought my look was, for lack of a better word. “cool”. I told him about the vampire lifestyle and he thought it was interesting. I brought him to parties and clubs, he started to wear darker clothing. In our circles he found people that weren’t put off by his intensity and who didn’t judge him or tell him his dreams were unrealistic. So he decided to get deeper into our lifestyle. Through him I also met his brother Christian who came along for the ride sometimes. At the time Edge was the one who was more interested in being one of us. And that’s how the blood comes into play.
MARIA: So you and Edge actually shared blood?
GANGREL: We had an initiation party for Edge. That night he did taste blood. But more importantly he took part in what many of us call “turning”. In vampire fiction, you know that if a vampire’s blood enters the system of a person, they become a vampire. One way that one can become initiated into our lifestyle is based on this. If it can be done safely, that is to say that blood type is compatible, a practicing vampire may intravenously administer a small portion of blood to an initiate. I injected a small amount of my blood into Edge which represents a stronger, more permanent bond between individuals as well a stronger commitment to becoming a lifestyle vampire. It is about as deeply immersed as one can become. Later, Edge became frightened by what he’d taken part in. That isn’t to say he is a coward, I don’t think and never have thought of him as one. Many people who practice our lifestyle don’t go so far, you see, and I think maybe Edge was too emotionally fragile to deal with it. He became paranoid and fearful, he decided he wanted out. But he also became upset that Christian was becoming closer to me. By this point in time Christian had started to dress like me and spent more and more time in my social circles. Edge thought I had too much influence over Christian, that I was brainwashing him. He made matters personal when he not only turned against me and my friends, but called us freaks and psychopaths. We probably would have fought on the independent scene but then he took part in a WWE camp and was hired. Little did he know that I was also about to join the WWE. Even though Vince McMahon didn’t want to see vampires as champions he or people around him had the foresight to realize that vampires are “cool” and that even non gothic fans would be interested in seeing a vampire in the ring. They were also looking for wrestlers with unique movesets which I also happened to have. Edge wasn’t happy to see me. Many forget but our first interaction in a WWE ring was when he attacked me after one of my matches and started pounding my head off the mat. Some people do remember that I was smiling. The reason being simply that I wanted to fight him for slandering me and my lifestyle, and also because I knew I was occupying a lot of place in his mind.
MARIA: So when you said to Edge that the blood of Gangrel flows through your veins you meant it literally.
GANGREL: Yes. The blood of Gangrel flows through his veins was meant literally. As for eternity is forever, well, no matter what he says or does he can’t escape his past or change what has taken place.
MARIA: But after all of that you, Edge and Christian formed the Brood.
GANGREL: We can be forgiving. After we fought I decided to try and bring Edge back into the fold. If you can find a video of it, I came up to him in the ring one night and told him he would come home. Eventually he did. He was never as deeply immersed in the lifestyle again. He and Christian did not consume blood, they were what we call mild vampires. They embraced the fashion, music and atmosphere but they were not sanguinarians. That was acceptable to me, at least until Edge decided even that was “too weird” for him.
MARIA: What are your thoughts and feelings about this match and the stipulation that Ariel has to spend a weekend with Edge if you lose?
GANGREL: I know what kind of man Edge is. He has always been a womanizer. Maybe that is part of what attracted him to our lifestyle; many female vampires are sexually open and adventurous. But he should know that Ariel and Kevin are as closely bonded as any two people can be. I don’t know if Edge is just trying to anger Kevin or if Ariel’s act before Wrestlemania actually convinced him she lusts for him, but I can assure you he won’t get what he wants from this. And to spare Ariel from having to be around him for a weekend I will do everything in my power. On Raw the WWE will see that even though the blood of Gangrel flows in Edge’s veins, the blood of Edge will flow courtesy of Gangrel!
Back to the arena:
LILLIAN: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and it is a Pick Your Poison match. In this match, if Edge is victorious Ariel will spend the weekend with him.
Now introducing first, Ariel!
JR: Ariel will be at ringside for this match and it’s not hard to understand why, she has a lot at stake here.
JBL: Maybe she just wants to see Edge up close and personal…
JR: Oh please!
JBL: Hey she started all this and she was the one who kissed him on the Cutting Edge!
LILLIAN: Introducing the participants, first, representing the Bloodline, weighing 250 pounds, one half of the WWE tag team champions and the WWE Intercontinental Champion, GANGREL!
Gangrel emerges alone from the ring of fire.
JR: Conspicuous by their absence are the Brides. One would assume this match is of such a serious personal nature that Gangrel decided not to have them come to ringside.
As Gangrel approaches the ring Ariel looks over at him and for the first time is beginning to look nervous.
JR: The stakes Ariel is risking here are clearly beginning to sink in. I would have to say that Kevin Thorn made the best possible choice here. Gangrel is someone he feels he can trust, he is very close to both Kevin Thorn and Ariel and so he has a vested interest in making sure she doesn’t have to spend a weekend with Edge. And I shudder to imagine what he has in mind.
JBL: Not only is Gangrel one of the only people Thorn trusts, his history with Edge makes him the perfect choice. I don’t like to agree with these vampires but Gangrel probably knows Edge better than anyone except for Christian. He knew Edge when he first broke in, and he also has a solid track record against him. Edge has never been able to get the better of Gangrel on his own in a one on one confrontation and that has to weigh on both men’s minds. In terms of ability I’d say it’s a pretty even match, they’re both about the same size, Edge is a little taller, Gangrel a little bulkier, I think Gangrel is a bit stronger but Edge will have the leverage advantage, both guys are about the same speed, I think Edge has greater ability to use aerial moves but Gangrel has all of those suplexes in his arsenal. But one thing people are overlooking is that Edge also knows Gangrel very well, better than anyone outside of the Bloodline.
JR: Much has been made of Edge’s greater success in the WWE. What impact do you think that will have on both men psychologically and does that create a different dynamic than it did when these men feuded in the past?
JBL: It has to. But look, I’ve wrestled Gangrel many times and as much as I hate to admit it he did beat me when we last competed. I think their in ring ability is about even. Edge deserved every opportunity he got, make no mistake about it, but I don’t think it’s a coincidence that he didn’t start getting title opportunities until after he left the Brood and adopted a new image. Gangrel was arguably equally deserving of those opportunities but he didn’t get them because he didn’t have the look that the powers that be wanted in their champions. No matter how good you are you can’t win championships if the match makers don’t allow you to compete in title matches, and no matter how much Gangrel has said he doesn’t hold on to old grudges he has to resent it. When you factor in everything Edge has said and done towards Ariel lately, you have a lot of motivation for Gangrel to want to inflict some serious pain on Edge. We’ve seen him DDT Edge on the floor and throw him down that flaming pit before so who knows how far this will go. But he has to be careful, if he goes too far and gets disqualified Edge still gets Ariel for the weekend, there does not have to be a pin or submission.
Gangrel climbs the steps and drinks from the goblet, spewing the blood before getting in the ring.
LILLIAN: His opponent, from Toronto, Ontario, Canada, weighing 243 pounds, the Rated R Superstar EDGE!
Gangrel is crouched in the middle of the ring waiting to attack. Edge instead comes through the crowd and gets on the top rope.
JR: Edge is going to ambush Gangrel here!
Edge makes a leap but Gangrel spins around and catches him with a clothesline in midair!
JBL: He caught him!
JR: That’s how Edge started off their first match but it’s almost like Gangrel sensed it was coming!
JBL: These men know each other very well, neither one is going to dupe the other in my book!
Edge tries to get up and Gangrel is all over him with right hands, then sends him into the ropes and knocks him down with a reverse elbow to the jaw. Edge gets up and stumbles back into a corner where he is nailed by a roaring elbow and several vicious kicks to the ribs. Ariel is nodding at ringside and pacing. Gangrel goes back to work with punches and goes to send Edge into the ropes, but he reverses and meets Gangrel coming back with a big kick to the face! 1……………2…………..kickout.
JR: A saw a worried look on Ariel’s face for a moment. I have to think she will be distressed every time Edge attempts a cover.
JBL: Because she’s hoping for three?
JR: Stop it!
Edge pounds Gangrel on the mat, then rams his head into a turnbuckle and goes to work with punches to the head. Edge Irish whips Gangrel hard and catches him coming out with a back body drop. As Gangrel sits up Edge hits a low dropkick to the back of the head. 1…………2…………Gangrel kicks out and Edge applies a chinlock.
JBL: This will be a back and forth match with a lot of counters and reversals. I don’t think we’ll see a short match but Ariel is probably hoping for one.
JR: I’d agree this has to be nerve wracking…
JBL: No she wants Edge to be in good shape and energetic so he can perform this weekend haha!
Gangrel fights to his feet and starts to elbow free but Edge slugs him in the back of the neck. Edge goes for a whip into the ropes, but Gangrel puts on the brakes, hooks the back of the leg and the shoulder, then hits the shocked Edge with a T-Bone suplex! Edge holds his back in pain and Gangrel forces him down into a cover, grinding his forearm into the face. 1……………….2…………….Edge kicks out.
JR: Those suplexes of Gangrel’s are such a difference maker. Edge can’t take too many of those in a row.
Gangrel backs off and kicks Edge viciously in the side of the head as he tries to get up, then brings him to his feet and snap suplexes him. 1……………..2……………Edge kicks out. Gangrel backs him into the ropes as he gets up with a series of punches, then whips him into the ropes. Edge ducks a clothesline, then a backhand, then tries a crossbody but Gangrel catches him in midair and hits a fallaway slam! 1…………………2……………….kickout.
JBL: I think Gangrel was expecting the crossbody counter and was ready with that fall away slam.
Gangrel runs the ropes and hits a corkscrew elbow. 1…………..2…………kickout.
JR: So far Gangrel is going for a lot of pin attempts instead of looking to punish Edge which is smart. He knows what’s at stake here.
Gangrel presses the advantage with a quick floatover suplex and gets a nearfall. Gangrel hooks the arms to try for the armtrap overhead suplex but Edge spins out, hooks in a half nelson and hits a side face planter! He shoots the half as Ariel pounds the mat….1……………….2…………….Gangrel kicks out.
JBL: That time it was Edge who had Gangrel’s move well scouted. He knows Gangrel and knows that armtrap suplex is one of his favourite moves.
Edge kicks Gangrel in the stomach as he gets up, hits the ropes and uses the momentum to execute a big swinging neckbreaker. 1……………….2…………………Gangrel kicks out. Edge drives Gangrel back into a corner, stuns him with a series of punches, then backs up and hits a shoulder tackle to the stomach that leaves Gangrel gasping for air.
JR: That was almost a short spear.
Edge sends Gangrel into the ropes and hits a spinning heel kick to the face. 1………………2……………kickout. Ariel is pacing worriedly.
Edge sends Gangrel into a corner and charges in but Gangrel kicks him in the face. Gangrel climbs the ropes but Edge hits him and he gets crotched on the top! Edge then gets his back to the corner, gets under Gangrel and takes him out of the corner with a modified electric chair drop, dropping him face first to the mat! Gangrel holds his mouth and Edge rolls him over. 1…………………….2………………shoulder up!
JBL: What a match! When you get two men who know each other this well and are this evenly matched you are in for one hell of a ride!
Gangrel gets up using the ropes. Edge goes for a spear but Gangrel heads him off with a knee to the face! Gangrel hooks the head to try for the Implant DDT but Edge hooks the ropes. Gangrel tries to pull him off to no avail.
JR: Edge is holding on to that rope for dear life!
Gangrel stuns Edge with a few right hands and goes for a clothesline but Edge ducks low and backdrops him over the ropes. Gangrel lands hard on his tail bone. As he goes to get up Edge runs the ropes for a plancha but Gangrel sidesteps it and Edge lands hard on the floor!
JBL: Oh no…I’m getting a sense of Déjà vu here!
Gangrel hooks the head to try to give Edge the Implant DDT on the floor but Edge pulls away desperately with a panicked shout and rolls into the ring.
JR: Edge had that same feeling of Déjà vu John. That was almost a repeat of their first match!
Gangrel slides in with a smile on his face but Edge rolls out the other side and takes a walk around ringside to rethink things.
JBL: The fans are booing but this is smart. Edge almost experienced a major disaster so he’s taking a minute to re-evaluate the situation and break any momentum Gangrel was building.
Gangrel holds the ropes open and waves for Edge to get back in the ring. Edge is irate and kicks the steps, then shouts at the referee “GET HIM BACK!”
The ref gets Gangrel to back off and Edge slides back in, watching the gothic one warily. They circle and Edge slaps on a headlock. Gangrel shoves him off but Edge comes back with a shoulder block to knock him down. Edge runs the ropes but Gangrel surprises him with a quick powerslam! 1…………………..2……………….shoulder up!
JBL: That was close! Ariel almost lost her chance to have a wild weekend guilt free…
Gangrel goes for a bulldog but Edge shoves him off face first into a corner. He then lifts Gangrel up and sits him on the top rope facing the crowd.
JR: Edge has evil intentions here…
He pulls Gangrel off the top rope into a neckbreaker!!!!
JBL: BALL GAME!
Ariel gasps as Edge hooks the leg. 1……………………….2…………………..
JR: It’s over!
2.9999…………….
GANGREL GETS HIS SHOULDER UP!
JBL: That was as close as it gets but now Gangrel is hurt.
Ariel is pacing nervously.
JR: I’m surprised Ariel didn’t try to help Gangrel out there by trying to distract Edge or something…
JBL: That just goes to show that deep down she wants Edge to win this match!
Edge brings Gangrel into a corner and executes a Tornado DDT. 1…………………….2…………………….shoulder up.
Ariel is leaning down near the apron watching intently.
Edge sets up Gangrel and hits a hangman’s neckbreaker. 1………………………..2……………….shoulder up! Edge then picks Gangrel up and hits a front face suplex. 1……………………..2……………………shoulder up! Edge goes to the top rope. When Gangrel stands up he hits a missile dropkick. 1………………………………..2……………………………….kickout.
JBL: Each time Gangrel kicks out he is expending more and more energy.
Edge sends Gangrel into the ropes and applies a sleeperhold. Gangrel sinks to one knee and seems to be fading.
JR: This could be the key to victory, both of these men know each other so well that one of them may have to use something other than their usual finishing maneuver to win.
The ref reaches out to try the arm as Ariel is holding the bottom rope with a concerned look on her face.
It drops once…twice…
The third time Gangrel holds his hand up, twists towards Edge and hits a side suplex!
JBL: The moment is shifting again JR!
Both men are down. Gangrel gets up and charges as Edge reaches his feet, but the Rated R Superstar meets him with a kick to the face! Gangrel goes down hard and Edge hooks the leg……………1……………………………2………………………..
Gangrel kicks out and Ariel breathes a sigh of relief.
The Rated R Superstar bodyslams Gangrel and goes to the top rope, but the Bloodline member gets up and purposely falls against the ropes, causing Edge to crotch himself.
JBL: Ariel won’t like that, it will ruin her plans for the weekend.
JR: Will you knock it off!?
Gangrel stuns Edge with a few vicious punches, then climbs up…
JR: Gangrel is thinking superplex here.
Gangrel hits a FLOATOVER SUPERPLEX!
JBL: What the hell!?
1………………………..2………………………..
2.9999………………
SHOULDER UP!
Ariel slaps the apron.
JR: Gangrel executed an immediate floatover from the superplex but Edge was still able to kick out somehow.
JBL: That’s the kind of motivation you get when you know it can me a weekend alone with Ariel.
JR: Argh…
As Edge pulls himself up using the ropes, Gangrel hooks his arms from behind to go for the Tiger Suplex. Edge quickly spins out behind him, hooks Gangrel by the chin and hits the Edge-O-Matic!
JBL: Time for the weekend!
1…………………………..2…………………….
2.999……………..
Gangrel kicks out! Edge pulls at his hair in frustration.
JR: It seems that Edge just can’t put Gangrel away…
Edge hits Gangrel with the Downward Spiral! Ariel’s eyes are as wide as saucers as she watches from ringside.
Edge hooks the leg.
1……………………
2……………………..
2.9999…………………….
Gangrel gets his shoulder up! Edge tugs at his hair again and looks at Gangrel with disbelief.
JBL: I don’t believe it, Edge pulled out a finishing move he hasn’t used in years and still couldn’t put him away. Sometimes no matter how good you are and no matter how successful you are there is that one guy you just can’t seem to beat, maybe for Edge Gangrel is that one guy!
Edge grabs the legs of Gangrel and tries to set up a Sharpshooter, but Gangrel blocks it and manages to execute a modified small package….1…………………2……………….Edge kicks out. Both men get up but Edge nearly takes Gangrel’s head off with a clothesline, then goes to the top rope.
JR: Back to a point we discussed earlier, these men know each other so well that they are able to sense the other man’s finishing move coming. It seems now that Edge is reluctant to go for the spear because he is afraid Gangrel will counter.
When Gangrel stands up, Edge comes off looking for another missile dropkick, but the vampire catches his legs in midair and hits a sitdown powerbomb!
JBL: THAT COULD DO IT! WHAT A MOVE!
Gangrel holds on when they land for the pin. 1…………………………..
2……………………………..
2.9999…………………….
EDGE GETS THE SHOULDER UP!
Gangrel is down on his side, too exhausted at this point to follow up.
JR: That was an amazing counter that nearly won the match for Gangrel, but he hasn’t been able to really sustain any offense since that neckbreaker off the top rope. This may be an opening he can’t afford to let slip past him…
Gangrel hooks Edge’s head to set up for the Implant DDT but Edge shoves him backwards into a corner. Edge hooks Gangrel’s head to go for the Edgecution, but Gangrel spins out and again tries for the Implant DDT. Edge blocks it, lifts Gangrel and drops him on his face. He again tries to set up for the Edgecution, but Gangrel pulls his head free and holds on to Edge’s wrist. Before Edge can react, Gangrel overhooks both arms and hits the armtrap overhead suplex!
JBL: What an exchange of counters!
Gangrel makes the cover. 1……………………..2…………………………..
2.9999999999999
Edge gets the shoulder up. As he struggles to his feet Gangrel kicks him in the back, sending him face first into a corner. Edge staggers back and Gangrel hooks both arms. Edge tries to fight it but Gangrel hits the Tiger Suplex and Edge is folded up like an accordion! Gangrel rolls him onto his back.
1……………………
2……………………
2.999……………..
SHOULDER UP!
Gangrel pulls Edge up by the hair and tries to set up for the Implant DDT again, but Edge throws himself backwards, sending Gangrel into a collision with the referee!
JR: Dammit now we have no referee out here!
Edge looks up and starts signaling to someone in the rafters, then notices Gangrel has rolled under the bottom rope in a daze and shouts “NO WAIT!”
JR: What was that all about?
Edge rolls out and grabs a steel chair from under the ring. He waits for Gangrel to turn around and hits him right in the head!
JBL: Ballgame!
JR: What a vile shot! This is not an extreme rules match, that should be a disqualification!
JBL: The ref can’t call it if he doesn’t see it! Haha Ariel and Edge are going to have a Rated R Superweekend!
Ariel looks horrified and approaches to see if Gangrel is ok. He is down on his side not moving. Edge looks over and says, “You wake up the ref baby, I’ll pin this bum and then we’re off for the weekend.”
Edge then licks his lips in an over the top sexual way. Ariel looks angry but then her demeanour changes and she looks turned on, waving her hand as though fanning herself to cool off.
JBL: She couldn’t hide it any longer JR!
She walks up to Edge and puts her hands on his chest, then slides them downward while looking him in the eye and licking her lips. Edge looks a bit surprised. Ariel presses up against him and bends backwards while Edge stares down at the great view she is giving him. She straightens up, kisses him on the mouth, then lowers her head to lick his chest. She moves down to a kneeling position while Edge has a sick grin on his face. She looks up at him and licks her lips again, then teases pulling his tights down.
JR: Don’t tell me…has Edge already shattered another relationship!?
JBL: You have to ask?
Ariel reaches between Edge’s legs…
JBL: This is going to be a Rated X supermoment!
With a vicious look on her face she suddenly squeezes Edge’s manhood and he shouts in shock and agony!
JR: ARIEL LITERALLY HAS EDGE RIGHT BY THE BALLS! I CAN’T BELIEVE I JUST SAID THAT!
Edge screams and tries to pull free. Meanwhile Gangrel is back on his feet. Ariel lets go of Edge and he turns around stooped over in pain.
IMPLANT DDT ON THE FLOOR!
JBL: NO!
JR: What a sickening thud!
Now Ariel rushes over to wake up the referee and Gangrel reaches under Edge’s arms to lift him up. Blood is running from Edge’s forehead.
JR: Edge has been busted wide open by the Implant DDT. Gangrel vowed to spill his blood and he has just done that.
JBL: Dammit this isn’t right! Ariel caused this! That two timing witch!
JR: Wait just a minute, Edge used a steel chair and would have been disqualified if we had a referee! What Ariel did just evened things out. A little tit for tat!
JBL: I’m too angry to even turn that into a joke about Ariel’s measurements! Dammit!
Gangrel crawls over and hooks both legs while the referee crawls over to make the count.
1…………………….
2……………………..
JBL: NO!
2.999………..
JBL: KICK OUT EDGE!
3!!!
HERE IS YOUR WINNER: GANGREL!
JR: You can give Ariel the assist…
JBL: You’re damn right!
JR: But after Edge used the steel chair as far as I’m concerned it was justified!
Ariel gets into the ring to help the battered Gangrel to his feet. She then stands over Edge and begins to read him the riot act!
JR: Because of Chris Jericho’s edict and Kevin Thorn’s desire to be a fighting champion Edge will still challenge for the WWE title at Bad Blood…but he will do it without getting a weekend with Ariel and in a match of Kevin Thorn’s choosing!
Edge is just starting to come to and holding his head.
Suddenly the Giant’s theme hits. Ariel looks shocked and spins around in alarm. Gangrel gets ready as the world’s largest athlete heads to the ring in an expensive suit. He takes off his jacket and tie as he marches with a purpose.
JR: Gangrel has had too much taken out of him to fight this man now! Kevin Thorn has been confined to the locker room and the Los Boy Billy Blade has already been taken out!
Giant steps onto the apron. While Gangrel is facing the Giant, Edge rolls out to the floor.
He makes the same hand signal as before, frantically as he shouts “HURRY UP GET THE GUY IN THE WHITE SHIRT!”
Giant lunges forward and knocks Gangrel down with a clothesline…
And suddenly blood rains down from above onto the Giant!
JBL: WHAT THE HECK!?
Edge covers his mouth and his eyes go wide with horror. He slowly moves his hands from his mouth and mutters “Oh sh@#”
JR: I don’t think that was a bloodbath…I think Edge orchestrated that and intended to give a bloodbath to Gangrel, but the Giant knocked Gangrel out of the way and got soaked instead!
JBL: Edge was shouting get the man in the white shirt! Gangrel is wearing a white shirt but so is the Giant!
Gangrel looks equally shocked as he rolls out of the ring and joins Ariel at ringside. Giant looks at Gangrel, then over at Edge, who begins to make a retreat up the aisle holding his aching head and neck! The Giant is livid and shaking with rage.
JR: This might has turned into a disaster for Edge! Not only did he get the Implant DDT on the floor and lose the match, but his plans have backfired, he inadvertently caused the Giant to get a bloodbath, and now he has to play by Kevin Thorn’s rules!
JBL: This is horrible…
Raw goes off the air as Edge backs up the aisle looking at the angry Giant and the smiling faces of Gangrel and Ariel…