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	STYLES: Welcome to Saturday Night’s Main Event from New Orleans, Louisiana, I’m Joey Styles and joining me is the self proclaimed wrestling God JBL… JBL: Self proclaimed doesn’t make it any less true Styles. What a night this is going to be, we are going to see not one, not two, but three women’s matches all of them featuring candidates for the position of “The Next Mrs. Layfield!” Mickie James against Angelina, Morganna against Eve Torres and the women’s champion Absinthe against Michelle McCool, those matches alone are worth the price of admission. STYLES: But that’s far from all we have here tonight. Royal Rumble co-winner Randy Orton takes on the man many people think should have been the winner or co-winner instead of Edge, the returning Hurricane Helms. And you know, Randy Orton could be a valid suspect in that attack just as much as Edge! JBL: No doubt about it, and speaking of Edge what a strategic misstep he made. He allowed Kevin Thorn to pick his opponent, any opponent, and now he has to face the Giant! STYLES: Not only that but Edge put his foot in his mouth and mocked the Giant for suffering an eye injury last year which will bite him in the ass just as much as his offer to Thorn! The Giant wasn’t happy and actually left both the Miz and Mark Henry laid out backstage as a message to the Rated R Superstar! Speaking of that entire powder keg, Edge has recently been the subject of some strange flirtations from Ariel! Is it a mind game or does Ariel have an eye for the Rated R Superstar? JBL: At first glance I’d say mind game, but Matt Hardy and Lita were together six years and she went behind Matt’s back to sleep with Edge so who knows. At the risk of being crude though, if Edge gets the chance to put that notch on his belt he should do it, haha! STYLES: The feud between Vampiro and Hannibal continues and tonight they compete against each other’s respective mentors. Vampiro takes on Bruce Hart and Hannibal rekindles his bloody feud with Abdullah the Butcher. That match will not be for anyone with a weak stomach! On top of that Stone Cold Steve Austin has been here since early this afternoon and he has let it be known that he intends to fight Psycho Sid tonight, whether he calls him out to the ring or finds him backstage! JBL: Hold on Joey, speaking of Stone Cold I’m told he’s already making a disturbance backstage…let’s cut to that right now! Backstage, Stone Cold Steve Austin is talking to a crew worker. AUSTIN: Listen up son, because I’m only asking this question once. Is Psycho Sid here yet? WORKER: N-no Sir, haven’t seen him. He didn’t show up with Chris Jericho… AUSTIN: Here’s what’s going to happen then. I’m gonna go wait in the parking garage for him to get here. As soon as he gets out of his car I am going to beat his sorry ass all over the parking garage, through that door over there, through the halls, out to the ring, onto the announce table and through the stands! If by some chance he doesn’t drive his sorry ass here himself, you call me on my cell phone. I’ll give you the number. You tell me where he’s at and you sit back and watch me open a can of whoop ass on him! Is that clear? WORKER: Yes…yes sir. AUSTIN: Alright then. Remember if he shows up you call me. If I find out his big ass snuck into this building and you didn’t call, you will be the sorriest son of a bitch in the WWE! Austin grabs a pen and a scrap of paper from the worker’s pocket, scribbles his cell number on it, then turns and walks off in the direction of the parking garage. STYLES: Well, Austin isn’t wasting any time at all. And with the mood he’s in, if Sid doesn’t show up tonight I have a feeling someone will get a Stunner. LILLIAN: Ladies and gentlemen our opening contest is a tag team match. Coming down the aisle, DJ Gabriel! DJ and Alicia Fox come in dancing as usual. JBL: I hate him. Wouldn’t mind Alicia if she was doing that dance on a pole or my lap but… STYLES: We are on national TV you know. LILLIAN: His partner, from Las Vegas Nevada, VAL VENIS Val walks out in his towel and approaches Alicia. DJ shrugs and they begin dirty dancing in the middle of the ring. JBL: This is nauseating. Suddenly the sounds of drums hit over the PA system and all the fun and games abruptly stop. LILLIAN: Now introducing their opponents, first, accompanied by Armando Alejandro Estrada, from Samoa, weighing 350 pounds, UMAGA! Umaga gets in the ring after slapping the steps and shouting in Samoan and DJ and Alicia bail out fast. JBL: First smart thing I’ve ever seen this idiot do. LILLIAN: His partner, led to the ring by Paul Heyman, from Italy with Japanese heritage, TOSHIO SAKAMURA. Heyman comes out first, followed not only by Toshio but also by Pitbull Gary Wolfe ! STYLES: Pitbull #1 is not here to help in any matches, he is here because after the Peep Show Paul Heyman is scared to death of Kane! JBL: Paul Heyman didn’t want Toshio to say what he said and tried to talk him out of it, but that won’t amount to a hill of beans in the eyes of the Big Red Monster, everyone in this building could potentially be fair game for him! Even you Joey! STYLES: What about you? JBL: No, I’m sure Kane respects me. Just like I respect him, in case he happens to be listening! STYLES: This will be a preview of Toshio and Umaga in action as a team but obviously DJ Gabriel and Val Venis are no Brothers of Destruction, with all due respect. How do you see that match going down JBL? JBL: It’s going to be a war. But let me tell you what I hope happens. STYLES: OH this will be good… JBL: Let’s be clear on something, I do not like Kane or the Undertaker but I hope they beat the hell out of Toshio for one simple reason. This arrogant punk has no respect for this business, a business I love and sacrificed my health to despite the fact that I am extremely wealthy and do not need the money. This jerk had the audacity to refer to our industry as a circus when he took over the Peep Show…he is going to WRESTLE-FREAKING-MANIA and he does not appreciate the magnitude of the event or what it means to each and every performer in the company and each and every fan who pays to see it! In tag team matches someone gets isolated, it’s the name of the game. Toshio is just as dangerous as Umaga is, but I think he will be isolated for two reasons. One, he is smaller and therefore easier to lift and slam which both Undertaker and Kane love to do. The other reason, the one that will actually matter to Kane and the Undertaker, is he is the one they want to hurt the most! He made it personal, he is the one who screwed the Undertaker out of the Royal Rumble and Umaga was just an accomplice who picked his spot. Now if you are Toshio and Umaga, who do you isolate? Usually when you face a team that has either Taker or Kane on it you isolate the other partner to keep them the hell out of the ring, what on earth do you do when you have to face both of them!? If I had to make a guess I’d say Kane will be the target as far as Toshio is concerned because of personal hate, but strategically speaking choosing which Brother of Destruction you want to fight is like deciding if you jump into a pond full of Piranhas to escape a raging forest fire. STYLES: If you were against the Brothers of Destruction what would you do? JBL: You mean with either the Syndicate of Shadows or the APA? STYLES: Yeah. JBL: I would have let Farooq or Vampiro stay in the ring and take the punishment, haha! Val Venis starts off with Toshio and waves for the mic. VAL: Listen buddy, I know you are all uptight because Cindryn is with Kane and not you, but let me tell you something there are plenty of fish in the… Toshio cuts him off with a martial arts kick right in the throat! STYLES: Oh my God! Val rolls around choking and Toshio repeatedly kicks him while he is down, then chops Gabriel and pulls him into the ring. Umaga asks for the tag and Toshio apparently understands a bit of Samoan because he does tag. He holds DJ open for a vicious body kick. Umaga hits the Samoan Drop, runs the ropes, drops a headbutt to the chest, then puts DJ in a corner and hits the Samoan Wrecking Ball. STYLES: This match is as good as over already! Toshio tags himself back in, drags DJ to the middle of the ring and executes his Martial Arts stomp to the head. 1………….2…………Toshio pulls him up and shakes his head. JBL: He had the match won and decided to dish out more punishment. What a jerk! STYLES: You’ve never done that? JBL: That’s beside the point, I respect the wrestling business, this idiot doesn’t. I never thought I’d say this but come on DJ! Toshio throws him into the corner and tells Val to tag in. Venis does. He runs in and kicks the arrogantly smiling Toshio in the gut, then hits a few right hands that have the martial arts expert surprised and reeling. Val grabs his wrist, sends him into the ropes, pulls him into a knee to the gut, does the same into the opposite ropes, then hits a Russian Leg Sweep! 1……………kickout. JBL: Come on Val! Get your career back on track and beat this no good piece of crap! STYLES: I can’t believe it but I agree one hundred percent with JBL! Val executes a Fisherman’s suplex. 1…………..2…………….Toshio kicks out. Venis goes for a bodyslam but Toshio slips out behind him and kicks him in the lower back! As Val turns in pain, Toshio knocks him down with a kick to the face. He says something to Umaga. The Samoan bulldozer comes in, intimidates the ref, then sees Alicia Fox on the apron tending to the injured DJ. Umaga walks over and grabs her by the hair! STYLES: No come on! Umaga holds up his thumb! STYLES: Don’t give a woman the Samoan Spike! Toshio positions himself near Val and raises his foot for the martial arts stomp…right over the genital area. JBL: NO COME ON! He has been crushing skulls with this and he wants to do it to a man’s manhood! This man has no class! Before either Toshio or Umaga can go through with their vile intentions, the bell tolls and the lights go out. The crowd is going crazy. When the bell tolls a second time the lights come on… AND BOTH BROTHERS OF DESTRUCTION ARE IN THE RING! JBL: YES! I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO HAPPY TO SEE THESE TWO MEN IN MY LIFE! Kane spins Toshio around and sends him sprawling with an uppercut to the face! The ref calls for the bell. Undertaker unloads on Umaga in the corner with a lighting quick series of punches to the head that are actually snapping his head back and forth like top. Kane rams Toshio’s head into a turnbuckle, kicks him in the gut and then goes to work with repeated punches to the head. STYLES: Come on Kane kick his ass! JBL: Screw kicking it, set it on fire Kane! Toshio has been beaten down to a sitting position, and Kane has one knee planted in his chest while he strangles Toshio with both hands. The camera picks up Kane snarling, “Destroy me!? Take my marriage!? Just try it now you son of a bitch!”  Toshio’s face is turning bright red and his tongue is sticking out. STYLES: Kane has been pushed over the deep end and that thought scares the hell out of me! Umaga thumbs Taker in the throat, headbutts him and clotheslines him over the top. He turns to come and help Toshio, but doesn’t realize Taker landed on his feet. The Deadman grabs Umaga’s feet and pulls him backwards out under the ropes, punches him in the head and rams his face into the steps. Umaga elbows Taker and rams his head into the steps. JBL: Talk about scary, the Undertaker rammed Umaga’s face into the steps and the Samoan Bulldozer fought back! Taker staggers and Umaga pounds him backwards, then goes for an avalanche against the post but Taker moves and the Samoan bulldozer hits face first. Taker rams Umaga into the announce table. STYLES: This is getting too close for comfort! Heyman shouts at Wolfe to do something! He gets in the ring and hits Kane from behind. JBL: Dammit. Toshio holds his throat and begins coughing. Wolfe hammers Kane against the ropes with rights and lefts while Taker trades blows with Umaga at ringside. The Big Red Monster fires back with an uppercut that staggers Wolfe, then knocks him down with a boot. Wolfe gets up and charges at Kane, only to be caught around the neck and chokeslammed! STYLES: That was as impressive a display as I have ever seen! The Pitbulls were one of the toughest tag teams in the history of ECW! JBL: Yeah but Gary Wolfe made the mistake of thinking that he could go toe to toe with Kane  when he is 5 foot 11 and 245 pounds! He isn’t in the bingo hall now! STYLES: HEY! Kane turns and gets caught with a martial arts kick right to the side of the head from Toshio! JBL: DAMMIT TO HELL! Kane goes down and Toshio immediately connects with the martial arts stomp to the skull! STYLES: Oh my God! For everyone at home, that isn’t just a stomp like you see all the time, it’s a martial arts technique that channels all of the force this jerk can muster into his leg. Taker sees it and gets in the ring, but Toshio simply steps out with an arrogant smile on his face. Estrada restrains Umaga and convinces him they should leave. Kane hasn’t moved a muscle. JBL: What a creep…he may have just taken Kane out. STYLES: Kane isn’t moving people…he could have a concussion or a cracked skull… Undertaker glances down at his fallen brother and glares at his adversaries as they back up the aisle. Toshio is still smiling until Kane sits up and looks at him with an even more enraged look in his eyes. The smile fades. JBL: HE SAT UP! I DON’T BELIEVE IT! EVERYONE ELSE HAS BEEN CARRIED OUT! STYLES: That looks says it all…Toshio cannot believe someone would get up after that. Heyman grabs him by the arm and tries to pull him up the aisle, but Toshio is off in another world staring at the ring in disbelief. Officials have finally run in to try and come between everyone. Gerald Briscoe goes up to Kane to say something…and without any warning Kane chokeslams him! JBL: He just chokeslammed a Hall of Famer! It’s ok though he’s from Oklahoma! Taker punches out two referees and throws a suited official out over the top while a third referee is chokeslammed by Kane. Wolfe is beginning to move and Taker says something to Kane. Kane looks at the Pitbull, then at Toshio and Heyman who are on the stage watching, Heyman in terror, Toshio in shock. Taker says, “Leave them for Wrestlemania…but let’s give them something to think about!”  Taker says something else that the camera doesn’t pick up and Kane nods. Kane suddenly picks up Wolfe and Taker goes to the top rope. On the stage Heyman shouts, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING? ARE YOU INSANE!?” Kane gets Wolfe  in a Tombstone position and from the top, Taker puts his hands on the Pitbull’s feet… STYLES: NO! Gary Wolfe suffered a broken neck in ECW! If the Undertaker and Kane do this he’ll suffer another! JBL: He should have stayed out of this then, this is what happens when you mess with these two monsters! SPIKE TOMBSTONE! STYLES: OH MY GOD! JBL: Yes? What is it? STYLES: How can you make jokes when a man’s neck may have been broken right in front of us!? Kane looks down at the twitching Pitbull and for a brief second he smiles evilly. Heyman is begging Toshio to leave the arena. Alicia has gotten in the ring. She says “Thank you,” to the Undertaker but he ignores her. She tries to say thank you to Kane but he isn’t looking in her direction. She then makes the mistake of touching his arm to get his attention and Kane grabs her by the throat! STYLES: NO! Taker grabs Kane and actually has to restrain him. Fox runs out of the ring screaming. Kane is turning towards the aisle as Heyman leads Toshio out of the building. Taker keeps restraining Kane and saying, “Wrestlemania, Kane…save them for Wrestlemania…” JBL: What does it tell you when the Undertaker is actually having to restrain Kane? I hope Heyman has a getaway car running out back because I don’t want Toshio to get destroyed tonight, I want to see it happen on the grandest stage of them all at Wrestlemania! Suddenly Kane shoves Taker away and steps over the ropes! STYLES: Kane doesn’t want to wait for Wrestlemania, he is heading up the ramp now! JBL: Heyman you better get that piece of crap out of here! Taker quickly follows after him… Commercial Backstage, Heyman is walking with Toshio, who keeps saying, “How could he sit up? That is not humanly possible. He should have been carried out…what’s going on? I must have missed, but I thought I hit him straight on…” HEYMAN: Toshio, at Wrestlemania if that’s enough to just keep him down for a three count you win…he doesn’t have to be carried out, if we can just get him to stay down for a three count… TOSHIO: That isn’t good enough! I want to destroy him! HEYMAN: Please…just come with me and let’s get out of here! Roddy Piper shows up then. PIPER: Heyman, get this guy to a car and get him out of here before someone gets killed! HEYMAN: I will, I will, thank you… PIPER: Don’t thank me for nothin’ fatso, I just don’t want to ruin a Wrestlemania match. Tonight, I’ve got security backstage trying to slow Kane down long enough for you to get his Italo-Japanese ass in a car and out of this building. But at Mania I’m telling the referee to just let em fight and forget the damn rule book. Now get out of here! Toshio looks at Heyman. “Kane will be the one who gets destroyed, not me…” HEYMAN: I know, of course he will, you’re the best, it’s a fluke that he got back up tonight, maybe you hit the wrong spot or something, but for tonight please just get in the car. You want to do this the right way don’t you? Do it at Wrestlemania in a match so you can really impress Cindryn. That actually seems to work and Toshio nods, then walks towards the garage. The scene returns to the arena. STYLES: Well we are back and EMTs are tending to Pitbull Gary Wolfe in the ring…hold on a second we have more trouble backstage. The scene cuts to the commotion. Three security guards are laid out in a back hall way and Kane is kicking in doors, shouting “WHERE IS HE!? WHERE IS TOSHIO!” Frightened voices shout, “I DON’T KNOW!” or female voices scream each time he kicks in a door. Just then, Edge comes around a corner giving instructions to the Miz. He sees Kane, says, “Oh shit” and shoves Miz in Kane’s path! Kane grabs Miz by the throat while Edge gets the hell out of there. “WHERE IS HE MIZ!? WHERE IS TOSHIO! ANSWER ME!” Miz is trying to answer but Kane is squeezing his throat  too hard. The self proclaimed chick magnet sinks to his knees, his face turning an ugly shade of purple and his eyes bulging. Taker shows up and coldly says, “He can’t answer you. Stop choking him.” Kane lets go. “Where is Toshio!?” MIZ: I….don’t…know… Kane clenches his fist and Taker says, “He doesn’t know. Don’t waste time on him.” Kane storms off and Miz touches Taker’s arm. “Thank you…” Taker looks down at the Miz in disgust, then grabs him by the throat and tosses him against the wall! Piper and Jericho both show up along with the Anvil. PIPER: Undertaker! Which way did Kane go? Undertaker ignores him and walks off down the same hall that Kane took. PIPER: I’m talking to you dammit! Taker stops and looks back over his shoulder. TAKER: For your sake you had better hope you don’t find him. I’ll get him out of the building for tonight, but only because that suits me. At Wrestlemania there will be no restraining either one of us. A loud crash is heard in the distance and Taker walks in that direction. PIPER: Let’s make sure no one else gets smashed. Come on Jim. They walk off. Jericho is alone momentarily and quickly calls out; “Roddy, what if Kane doubles back this way!?” PIPER: Then you get him out of the building. JERICHO: ME!? ARE YOU NUTS!? JBL: This is crazy…we’ve got three referees down, two officials down, one General Manager on a monster hunt and the other one probably thinking of locking himself in his office. We have a Pitbull being taken out of here in an ambulance and dammit the show just started! STYLES: We also have the Miz down and out after Edge threw him into Kane’s path like a coward… JBL: It was not cowardly it was smart! Edge is going for the WWE title at Wrestlemania, and because of a mistake he made in allowing Kevin Thorn to choose his opponent he has to fight the Giant tonight, why the hell would he risk it all by running into a crazed monster like Kane who will destroy anyone and anything in his sight? What would you have done if you were Edge? STYLES: Well…when you put it that way I guess I do stand corrected. Hopefully when we come back from commercial Kane and the Undertaker will have left the building! Commercial LILLIAN: Ladies and gentlemen here is the official decision of our previous contest: the winners as a result of a disqualification due to outside interference from the Brothers of Destruction, TOSHIO AND UMAGA! The crowd boos. STYLES: Well that was academic. Coming up next is one of three women’s matches, and a bit of a grudge match as well, pitting Michelle McCool against the Women’s champion Absinthe. Backstage, Morganna is with Hannibal. MORGANNA: I want you to stay here and keep an eye on that door. Eve is in there right now… HANNIBAL: So what? Who cares? MORGANNA: I want you to make sure she isn’t going to interfere in Absinthe’s match. HANNIBAL: What? Why the hell would she do that? It isn’t like Absinthe would ask for… Morganna glares at him and he shuts up. MORGANNA: Stay here until I tell you to leave. HANNIBAL: I have a match to get ready for! MORGANNA: It isn’t till later and you screwed up big time with that Crystal stunt! If you want to even be in the same hotel room as me you will stand here and make sure Eve doesn’t leave until I come back! Understand!? HANNIBAL: Fine. Where are you going? MORGANNA: I want to watch this match and scout Absinthe without having to worry about Eve interfering! She walks off leaving Hannibal to shake his head. He mumbles to himself, “This is stupid. Absinthe won’t have Eve interfering anyway.” ABSINTHE VS MICHELLE MCCOOL LILLIAN: This contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first from Palatka, Florida, MICHELLE MCCOOL STYLES: This is far from the first time that Michelle has met Absinthe. So far the competitive blonde from Florida has never been able to beat our current women’s champion, will tonight be any different? JBL: Well it could be, Michelle has had a chance to learn Absinthe’s ring style and if Absinthe is looking past her to Morganna this could be her night to avenge those past losses. LILLIAN: Her opponent, the WWE Women’s Champion ABSINTHE Absinthe as usual takes time to slap a few hands on her way to the ring and even agree to stop for a picture. JBL: There you see another huge difference between Absinthe and Morganna, Absinthe likes to meet her fans and tries to make them happy, Morganna wouldn’t piss on these people to save them if they were on fire. Absinthe and Michelle circle. Michelle goes for a high kick right off the bat but Absinthe drops low and sweeps her other foot out from under her. Absinthe is up so fast she is able to hit Michelle with a low dropkick as she is trying to figure out how she ended up on her back! 1…………2……….kickout. JBL: Ok so she isn’t looking past Michelle. You know, Michelle isn’t a bad practice opponent for Absinthe, no disrespect to Michelle. She is around the same height as Morganna, not as strong, but similar in size which can be useful as Absinthe prepares for Wrestlemania. Absinthe takes Michelle over with a martial arts throw and goes for a quick Jujigatame. STYLES: Jujigatame, a version of the cross arm breaker! Michelle struggles frantically and gets to the ropes. JBL: Absinthe isn’t wasting any time is she? Michelle shakes some feeling into her arm and circles Absinthe, looking angry now. She goes for a kick but Absinthe ducks and knocks her down with  a kick to the chest. Michelle rolls out of the ring and slaps the apron in frustration. STYLES: It almost seems like Absinthe is using the same approach she would use against Morganna. Much like on Smackdown a couple weeks ago she has avoided every offensive move Michelle has made and has embarrassed her in the early going. Absinthe looks like she will wait for Michelle to get in the ring. Michelle turns to yell at the fans who are heckling her. When she turns back, Absinthe comes over the ropes with a sommersault seated senton! STYLES: OH MY GOD! JBL: Yes? What do you want? STYLES: Argh…I miss Tazz right about now. Absinthe throws Michelle back in and comes over the ropes with a sommersault legdrop. 1…………..2…………kickout. Absinthe winds up the arm, kicks Michelle on each side, then in the back of the head. 1……………………..2……………….kickout. Michelle gets up and Absinthe feints for a high kick, Michelle puts her hands in front of her face to block, but instead Absinthe knees her in the stomach, then flips over her for a sunset flip. 1…………….2…………….kickout. Absinthe knocks Michelle down with another kick and goes for the standing moonsault but Michelle gets her knees up! 1………..kickout but Absinthe is holding her stomach and trying to catch her breath. JBL: What a turning point in the match this will be. Michelle had virtually no offence but one well timed counter turns it all around. Michelle gets Absinthe in a corner and goes to work with hard kicks to the midsection. She Irish whips Absinthe and hits a charging shoulder to the stomach, then a gutbuster. 1…………………..2……………….kickout. Michelle buries a knee into the midsection and applies an abdominal stretch. STYLES: Sound strategy by Michelle, she is focusing on the abdomen because she knows Absinthe got hurt there. Absinthe refuses to give up. Michelle even pulls up on her leg to stretch her out even more but can’t make her give. Absinthe eventually frees herself with a hiptoss, then dropkicks Michelle. She goes for a hurricanrana but gets caught with a powerbomb! 1……………..2………….. Kickout! JBL: That was a real close call for Absinthe. She better watch herself. You know Morganna is watching backstage and she’d love to see Absinthe lose. Michelle applies a chinlock to wear her down some more. Absinthe fights to her feet and elbows free. She runs the ropes but Michelle catches her with a knee to the stomach that sends her crashing to the mat. 1………………….2……………kickout. Michelle next applies a sleeper! Before she can really sink it in, Absinthe somehow manages to drop down to her back and kicks up with both feet, hitting Michelle in the face. JBL: I don’t know how some of the things she does are possible but she is fun to watch. Michelle gets up and Absinthe unleashes a barrage of kicks to the body, forcing her back into a corner. She hits a step up kick to the face, then a Tornado DDT! 1………………….2……………….. Michelle squirms out. Absinthe hits the Standing moonsault. 1 2……………… Kickout. Absinthe goes to send Michelle into the ropes, she reverses, Absinthe springs onto the middle rope and comes back with a springboard sidekick for a nearfall. STYLES: That springboard side kick is reminiscent of Sabu. Absinthe leaps to the top rope and comes off with a jump kick to the face. Michelle rolls out to the apron. STYLES: Now she is channelling RVD. Michelle gets up on the apron in a daze and Absinthe knocks her off to the floor with a springboard dropkick. STYLES: And now shades of Chris Jericho! JBL: She is truly a student of the game Joey, I have to hand that to her. I kind of dig the green hair, if she’d show a bit more skin maybe she could be the next Mrs. Layfield… Absinthe shows a vicious side we don’t usually see, dropping Michelle stomach first on the guardrail, then leaping onto the apron and coming off with a splash to the back that pulls Michelle off the railing to the floor! STYLES: OH MY GOD! JBL: Yes? Never mind what you wanted to ask me though, I need to say this is another example of why she is fun to watch. She is a student of the game but she puts her own twist on the moves she imitates. I thought she was going for RVD’s spinning legdrop, instead she did a splash. Just like that Green Devil, it’s similar to Jeff Hardy’s Whisper in the Wind but modified to take advantage of her educated feet. Absinthe drags Michelle into the ring. 1………………….2…………….. Foot on the rope. Michelle gets to her hands and knees. Absinthe applies a standing headscissor and does a quick spin, violently wrenching Michelle’s neck! STYLES: Whoa, shades of Mr Perfect Curt Hennig with that move! 1…………….2………………….shoulder up. Absinthe mutters a curse. She goes for a spinning kick, Michelle ducks, kicks her, hooks the arms to try for the Wings of Love (editorial note: I hate that name) but as she lifts Absinthe up, the champion somehow gets her legs around Michelle’s neck. Michelle is surprised by the sudden pressure and loses her grip on Absinthe’s arms, enabling her to execute a modified hurricanrana. STYLES: Ok…I give up trying to call all of these moves. Absinthe goes for a high kick, but Michelle blocks and takes her down into the Brazillian Heel Hook! JBL: She calls this MADT…Make a Diva Tap! Absinthe shouts in pain as the pressure is applied to her leg. She refuses to submit, and realizing she is too far from the ropes, she twists her body over enough to kick Michelle in the face with her free foot. JBL: Did you see that? She momentarily increased the pressure on her own heel to execute that kick! Morganna should take note of that, this woman is what a wrestling champion is made of and she is not afraid to take the pain and pay the price. Absinthe stands up and shakes her leg a bit to work some of the kinks out. Michelle lunges at her but she kicks her in the chest, then rushes up the turnbuckles and hits the Green Devil! STYLES: That was so sudden! She couldn’t have even had time to think about doing that, she just did it! JBL: If you are a Star Wars geek you might even say it’s like she was using the force guide her movements! Instead of going for the pin, Absinthe says, “Let’s see who taps now!” and puts Michelle in the Wormwood Stretch! STYLES: The human arm and neck are not meant to be bent upwards and together that way… Michelle screams and tries to resist. With an uncharacteristically nasty look on her face, Absinthe shouts, “MORGANNA!” and intensifies the hold. Michelle taps out! HERE IS YOUR WINNER BY SUBMISSION, THE WWE WOMEN’S CHAMPION ABSINTHE! Absinthe turns the hold loose right away and calms down. JBL: There was a message sent there and also evidence that Morganna has angered Absinthe to the point that for a moment she wasn’t seeing Michelle McCool, she was seeing Morganna, and in that moment she ripped at the shoulder and the neck enough to make the very proud and competitive Michelle tap out! Absinthe poses on a corner with the women’s title. Out of nowhere, Morganna slides into the ring and hits Absinthe from behind! Absinthe falls over the ropes and down to the floor! STYLES: Oh my God…and don’t even do it! JBL: Oh fine. That was a nasty fall! She never saw it coming and I frankly did not see Morganna coming either. STYLES: I wonder what excuse she will come up with to justify this sneak attack, you know she will have one. The ref argues with Morganna, but she kicks him in the stomach and then sends him through the ropes with a knee to the face! Morganna slides out, picks Absinthe up by the hair and throws her backwards into the steps! JBL: Her back just slammed into those steps after that awkward fall, and Absinthe is a small girl, her body can’t absorb too many major impacts like that. Morganna presses the barely conscious Absinthe over her head and smiles cruelly. STYLES: No not on the floor. Instead, Morganna tosses Absinthe into the ring, follows, and gives her a Tear Drop suplex. As the crowd boos, Morganna walks around the ring with her hands raised while Absinthe slowly stirs. Morganna measures the champion as she tries to push herself up. STYLES: Absinthe never saw the attack coming and I don’t think she knows where she is. I’d even go so far as saying she doesn’t even know who is attacking her at this point! DEVESTASIA! STYLES: Come on! Is she doing this because she doesn’t think she can beat her at a hundred percent, is it because she was upset that Absinthe apparently sent her some kind of message, or is she just out of her mind with hatred? JBL: I think Morganna believes she can beat anyone in the women’s division and she has probably wanted to do this for a long time without needing any kind of message to spur her on, so I’m going with option 3. Morganna  reaches into the front of her ring attire and pulls out a roll of black duct tape. She kneels down and quickly binds Absinthe’s hands behind her back. She then grabs Absinthe by the hair and pulls her up to her knees with a sadistic smirk on her face. MORGANNA: Let’s see if you’ll beg this time you little bitch! STYLES: What is she talking about? After reaching under the helpless champion’s arms to get her on her feet, Morganna puts the limp Absinthe in the Vampiric Embrace! The sudden pressure snaps Absinthe back to consciousness and she immediately screams in pain. The scream actually makes Morganna smile. STYLES: After the fall to the floor, the impact into the steps and the Tear Drop, Absinthe’s back has to be killing her already! JBL: Don’t forget the punishment to the midsection Michelle dished out! A bearhug hurts the ribs as well as the back. This is calling up eerie memories of Danyah at the Royal Rumble. And her hands are tied behind her back so she can’t fight back! Absinthe tries to struggle but with her hands bound behind her there is nothing she can do except try to headbutt free. Morganna shakes her like a rag doll to take the fight out of her, then smiles arrogantly and begins trash talking when the headbutt attempts stop. MORGANNA: This time you’re going to beg for mercy! Absinthe moans in pain but doesn’t respond. She tries to wiggle free but the effort is futile. MORGANNA: Come on! Beg! Absinthe screams in pain, but then defiantly shouts, “Screw you!” STYLES: Isn’t there one official somewhere in this building who’s free to do something about this?! This is disgusting! JBL: I guess we know why Morganna demanded that Hannibal stand guard outside of Eve’s locker room. It wasn’t to keep her from interfering in the match, it was to keep her from interfering with this! Obviously this is a carefully premeditated assault. Absinthe is in tremendous pain and helpless to escape, but she still won’t give in. MORGANNA: Save yourself the pain and say it…I’m not even getting tired and I can keep this up all night if I have to! Say ‘please let me go’ and MAYBE I will! STYLES: This is sick! What the hell is wrong with Morganna!? JBL: Absinthe should just say it to get out of this. Morganna wouldn’t feel bad at all if she broke Absinthe’s back or crushed her ribs. She’d just say it was Absinthe’s fault for being too stubborn to beg for mercy when she has no other choice. STYLES: You’re sick too if you understand what this lunatic is thinking. After over a minute of being in the Vampiric Embrace, Absinthe stops struggling and her head hangs to the side. Morganna sees she might be passing out and shakes her back and forth to wake her back up! MORGANNA: Don’t try to take the easy way out, Absinthe! You are going to beg before I even think about letting go. Are you ready to start? ABSINTHE (gasping for air): No…go to hell. MORGANNA (trying to hide her frustration): No problem! I enjoy making you suffer almost as much as I will enjoy it when you finally plead with me to let go! And no one is coming to help you, so you’re at my mercy! Absinthe makes a last angry effort to struggle but it’s no use and soon the last of her strength fades. Morganna smiles again, confident that she is about to give in. When she still doesn’t beg, Morganna shows a bit of frustration. MORGANNA: The longer you keep me waiting the more begging you’ll need to do! ABSINTHE: Go eat $*#*… STYLES: We can only pick up part of this exchange but Morganna is insisting on trying to make Absinthe beg for mercy. What is her obsession? JBL: It’s about power and proving something, Morganna wants to prove she is better than Absinthe and in her mind this is the ultimate way of doing it. STYLES: How does she prove anything by assaulting her with her hands bound behind her!? JBL: To us it only proves she is sadistic, but in Morganna’s own mind it could be another matter entirely! She wants to make her nemesis beg even if it means she has to tie her hands behind her to get the job done. As Morganna keeps squeezing, Absinthe stops being defiant. She moans in agony but still isn’t begging. Morganna shows no signs of letting go. Suddenly Ariel runs in and grabs at Morganna’s arm to make her let go! Even then Morganna is stubbornly holding on! JBL: I’m surprised Ariel is out here. Who’s side is she on anyway? STYLES: I don’t think she’s taking Absinthe’s side, she has just seen enough and is doing the right thing! Morganna finally throws Absinthe to the mat. Ariel asks, “What the hell is wrong with you?” Morganna shouts, “Don’t tell me she’s turned you against me too!” Ariel: What are you talking about!? Morganna throws up her hands and leaves. Ariel checks to see if Absinthe is alright. She is lying on the mat, barely moving. Looking up the aisle at the departing Morganna, Ariel shakes her head and then starts to tear the tape away from Absinthe’s wrists. STYLES: Absinthe could be badly hurt. Morganna did not get what she wanted but she may have injured her Wrestlemania opponent… JBL: Well Absinthe didn’t have to be so stubborn… STYLES: OH COME ON! You make me sick and so does Morganna! JBL: You know I don’t want this to come across the wrong way, but Morganna reminds me a bit of Bob Backlund when she goes for that Vampiric Embrace. Very much like Backlund when he used to snap and put people in the Cross Face Chickenwing, he would refuse to let go even when officials and other wrestlers came out. With Morganna it’s a different hold and a different gender but it’s the same basic idea. STYLES: There is something nauseating about you comparing Morganna to a great champion like Bob Backlund who quite frankly deserves to be in the Hall of Fame. If you want to make comparisons, I compare this to some of the most sickening attacks that have ever taken place on Saturday Night’s Main Event! This show has seen the Hart Foundation assault Randy Savage and hold him in place so the Honky Tonk Man could break a guitar over his head. This show has seen Andre the Giant strangle Hulk Hogan from behind after a match and refuse to break the choke even when several wrestlers tried to pull him off and Hacksaw Jim Duggan splintered a 2  x 4 over the Giant’s back! This show has seen Harley Race and Bobby Heenan trying to force the Junk Yard Dog to bow before Race while corrupt referee Danny Davis just stood by and watched! What Morganna just did is right up there! JBL: You say that with disgust but I think Morganna would take it as a compliment. STYLES: I don’t doubt that.  Tell me, do you not find it disturbing that Morganna took advantage of the emotional turmoil her mentor Kane is experiencing to carry out this assault on another of Kane’s protégés? We both know damn well if Kane was aware of what was going on that he would have intervened, and there were no officials free to stop it because they are either getting medical attention or dealing with the carnage from earlier! Morganna exploited Kane’s situation and his violent reaction to it so she could perpetrate this sickening attack! JBL: You’ll get no argument from me, Joey, it is disturbing, but if Morganna will go to these lengths I don’t know if I’d want to be in Absinthe’s shoes at Wrestlemania and I certainly wouldn’t want to be Eve Torres right about now. Absinthe eventually manages to get to her feet and leans on the ropes but is clearly in a bad way. Commercial Michael Cole is backstage. COLE: Ladies and gentlemen I am standing by outside the trainer’s room, Absinthe was taken inside after that brutal assault by Morganna. At this time we have no idea what her condition is…wait a minute…Eve! Eve was on her way to room. EVE: Michael I really can’t talk… COLE: Just a moment, what is your reaction to what happened? EVE: I’m shocked and upset, what do you think? Morganna is sick, she duct taped Absinthe’s hands…argh. I tried to run down and help but her boyfriend grabbed me and forced me back into my dressing room…you tell me how I should react to that? COLE: Are you concerned about this match you have later tonight with Morganna? EVE: This isn’t the time Michael. She slips into the trainers room and the door slams in Cole’s face. COLE: Eve is understandably upset as indeed most of us are in the backstage area. We will update you on Absinthe’s condition when we have more information. JBL: Well ladies and gentlemen do not underestimate the damage that may have been done, a lot of people don’t realize how much damage a bearhug can do if it’s applied long enough and by someone strong enough. Hulk Hogan was once carried out on a stretcher after refusing to submit to a bearhug from the late Canadian Strongman Dino Bravo, and his hands were not tied. Granted Morganna is not Dino Bravo, but there are few women’s wrestlers with greater strength and Absinthe’s body is not as robust as a man’s body. Her hands were tied, all of that pressure was on her back and ribs after she had been through a match and was assaulted by Morganna, and she was in that hold for a much longer period of time than the average application of a bearhug. I personally wonder if she will even be able to compete at Wrestlemania and I can guarantee we’ve seen the last of her for tonight! VAMPIRO VS BRUCE HART Styles: John in moments Vampiro faces off against Bruce Hart.  For your former tag team partner a win here would of course give him a lot of momentum going into Wrestlemania. JBL: Knowing Vampiro as well as I do, I know the man would love nothing more than to add the name of Bruce Hart to his list of defeated opponents.  Vampiro like him or not and I don’t thrives on competition.   Being able to say he has defeated one of the legendary Hart brothers would be a heck of feather to put in his cap.  Styles: And beating Bruce first puts all the weight on his rival to win his match tonight against Abdullah the Butcher. Lillian: The following match is scheduled for one fall.  Introducing first from Calgary Alberta Canada, weighing 245 pounds Bruce Hart.    Bruce is booed heavily by the Crowd.  Styles: Bruce Hart has lost the respect of me and the entire WWE Universe associating himself with the lowest of the low Hannibal.  JBL: Well he’ll have my respect if he can take out Vampiro here tonight.  Vampiro has won just about every title there is to win in the WWE and it sure wouldn’t suck if he made him tap out. Lillian: Now making his way to the ring, from Thunderbay Ontario Canada, weighing 242 pounds, VAMPIRO Vampiro gets a huge pop from the fans and Vampiro even takes time to let some teenage fans pose with him for a photo on their cell-phone. He gets in the ring and right away Bruce charges in kneeing Vampiro. Styles: Ah come on Vampiro hasn’t even taken off his entrance attire yet.  What a cheap shot.  JB: Like Vampiro has never cheap shotted someone? Bruce then whips Vampiro off the ropes for a clothesline but Vamp duck, stops on a dime and delivers a thrust kick to the face sending Bruce staggering up against the ropes.  Vamp sends him over the top with a clothesline.    Vampiro removes his jacket and makes the sing of the upside down crucifix.  Bruce is livid and slams his fists against the apron and gets in. Vampiro and him lock   up and Bruce gets a side headlock in but Vampiro pushes him off into the ropes and tries for a round house kick but Bruce ducks and hits a chop block.    Vamp drops to one knee and Bruce kicks away at the leg sending Vamp down.   Bruce buries a few knee strikes to the leg.   Bruce pries Vamp’s legs apart, steps on Vamp’s left leg and pulls on his right leg. JBL: Bruce has masterfully capitalised on an early misstep by Vampiro and has now begun to work on the leg of Vampiro.  Styles: No doubt he is looking to set up Vampiro for the sharpshooter.    Vampiro gets to his feet and holds his leg and the two of them lock up. Bruce slaps Vamp in the face.  Vamp is furious and charges at Bruce but he ducks the clothesline and chops Vamp in the chest backing him against the ropes.    Bruce introduces Vamp into the turn buckle head first.  Vamp backs out dazed and Bruce hits a back suplex.    Bruce applauds himself.  Styles: I am very surprised here tonight that this match has pretty much been all Bruce Hart. JBL: Why is that, did you not think that Bruce Hart would have a game plan he made the damn challenge Styles. He’s also a member of the Hart Family! Bruce goes back to the leg of Vampiro by lifting his right leg and kicking it three times in the thigh.   He then locks in a one legged Boston Crab.   Styles: Shades of Lance Storm, with the Canadian Maple Leaf.  JBL: Wait a second, Lance Storm trained in the dungeon, any time he applied that hold he was applying a hold taught to him by the Harts, SO HOW CAN THIS BE SHADES OF SOMEONE THEY TAUGHT THE MOVE TO YOU LITTLE IDIOT!? Vampiro slowly pulls himself to the bottom rope as Hart pulls back as hard as he can.   Vamp shouts in pain. He is just inches away and reaches out and grabs it. JBL: The end may be near already the damage that Hart has done to Vampiro’s right leg has been severe. Bruce then climbs the top rope and pats his arm as Vampiro slowly gets up. Styles: Bruce is looking for his trade mark top rope lariat.   He leaps, but Vampiro ducks and Hart misses, driving his arm right into the mat.  Vampiro crawls for a cover.  1.....2... shoulder up.  Bruce and Vamp get up at the same time.   Vamp unloads with a chop to the chest staggering him and Bruce responds with one of his own staggering Vamp.  Vamp unloads with huge blow but Bruce fires fight back.  Vamp unloads another but Bruce ducks and kicks the leg again and Vamp drops down to a knee. Styles: Again Bruce Hart has gone right back to the right leg of Vampiro, this has been a perfectly executed game plan.  JBL: And it’s shades of no one but Bruce Hart! Bruce then fires down a few blows to the head as Vamp tries to cover up. He eventually manages to get to his feet.  Bruce whips him off the ropes, kicks him, executes a dragon screw leg whip, and in succession locks in a figure four leg lock.    Vampiro shouts in pain as Bruce Hart pulls back on the hold and when the ref asks Vamp if he will   give up Bruce grabs the ropes. Styles: It’s bad enough he has taken Vampiro down to one leg does he need to cheat like this? He does this twice and the ref catches him on the third time.   He orders Hart to break the hold.  Bruce does and drags Vamp to the corner, then rolls under the bottom rope.  JBL: Oh he could be going for the move made famous by his brother the figure four around the post. Bruce grabs the legs but Vamp summons all his strength and sends Bruce flying into the security barrier.   Styles: Vampiro just avoided having his legs possibly broken by Bruce Hart.  JBL: Maybe but the damage has been done already Vampiro is one legged men and we know how well they fare in an ass kicking contest. Bruce gets up and back in then ring and Vampiro gets up to his feet as well.    Bruce charges for a clothesline but Vamp counters with a desperation tilt a whirl back breaker.    Styles: Just like that the living Vampire is back in this match.  JBL: Yippie! Bruce rolls around holding his back in pain as Vampiro gets to his feet, picks Bruce up and muscles him into the corner.  He fires off a chop to the chest and comes out of the corner with a one handed face buster.  He then measures Hart with a stiff kick to the back and holds his leg after it in pain.    Styles: I had to think that Vampiro was just trying to test that leg and see how its holding up after Bruce Hart worked over it for most of this match. Vampiro climbs to the top rope and comes off of it with a diving clothesline.  He goes for a pin. JBL: Vampiro hasn’t changed one bit trying to humiliate Bruce Hart by using his own finisher to get the win.  .  1.... 2.... 2..99 Kick out.  Vampiro picks him up and hits a choke-slam.    Vampiro climbs again to the top rope and hits a huge double leg drop.  1... 2... 2...99 Kick out.  Styles: Bruce Hart is now showing a lot of toughness here.  JBL: Toughness is in the Hart Family DNA Styles.  Vampiro slowly gets up and is still holding his right leg in pain. Styles: I have to wonder how wise that move was given the condition of Vampiro’s leg John.  JBL: That’s why I was always the brains of our team.  Vampiro picks up Bruce Hart but as he does Bruce gets a single leg take down.    Vamp goes down hard.  Bruce slowly gets to his feet and sees Vampiro trying to pull himself to his own feet.  He slowly advances and kicks Vamp in the leg then pulls him to the middle of the ring and pries both legs open, then hits diving punch to the right thigh.  He does this twice and then calls for the Sharpshooter.  Styles: I don’t believe it. This could be it.  Bruce Hart has Vampiro right where he wants him. Bruce goes to lock in the sharpshooter but Vampiro counters amazingly with a small package. 1..... 2.... 2..99 Kick out. Styles: My god what a match.  Both men get to their feet and Vamp kicks Bruce in the gut and tries for the Nail in Coffin.  He gets him up but Bruce Elbows free, runs off the ropes and tries for a running clothesline but Vamp ducks it and again kicks him in the gut and hits the NAIL IN THE COFFIN. He goes for the pin. 1... 2... 2..99 3. Lillian: Here is your winner, The Living Vampire VAMPIRO!!! Styles: What a match up John I have to say I was very impressed by how well Bruce Hart fared tonight.  JBL: A win here for Vampiro has now put a lot of pressure on Hannibal to beat Abdullah the Butcher. Styles: If he doesn’t it will be Vampiro who has all the momentum going into the Love her or Leave her match. MICKIE JAMES VS ANGELINA Styles: Absinthe and Morganna’s feud aside the marriage of Angelina to her one time therapist Dr. Williams is one of the more interesting developments we have seen as of late.   What are your thoughts on this John? JBL: I think it’s a total violation of Ethics. Styles: Come on it’s the modern era sure it’s not the most traditional marriage but I think you can look past the fact they are both women can’t you? JBL: You idiot. I could care less if they are lipstick lesbians.   Angelina was Dr. Williams patient, the woman should lose her damn licence to practice medicine if you ask the God of Morality and Ethics.  Styles: Well the heart wants what the heart wants John. JBL: OH where did you read that on the back of a hallmark card?  Any way the question is has married life softened up the former WWE Woman’s champion.   We will find out as she takes on a very game Mickie James.  Angelina will be involved in a huge  women’s tag team match. Styles: That’s right just announced by general manger Y2J it will be the team of Ariel and Misha taking on the team of Eve and Angelina.  JBL: I’m surprised Mickie James won’t be a part of it. STYLES: I think maybe Edge is too focused on himself…NONE of the other members of Team Edge have matches at Wrestlemania! Lillian: The following match is scheduled for one fall.  Introducing first from Richmond Virgina.  Representing team Edge Mickie James.  Mickie’s theme blasts over the P.A and James comes out alone.  Styles: I find it interesting to note that Edge is not at ring side.  How’s that for commitment? JBL: Yeah, how about we pay attention to Mickie James here.  She’s hot, she’s tough and heck would be more then up to the task of being the next Mrs. Layfield. Styles:  Mickie came with in inches of defeating Misha just 2 weeks ago in that double count out match.  Does she have what it takes to beat Angelina Williams well we will find that out tonight? Lillian: Now introducing her opponent.  From Mexico City Angelina Williams.  Angelina makes her way to the ring and gets a lot of whistles and cat calls from the fans. JBL: I have to say it’s a shame she is a lesbian.  Angelina would make for a great next Mrs. Layfield.  Styles: Well   I believe she`s bisexual, but married none the less.  JBL: I wonder if it’s a monogamous relationship.   Styles: What we should wonder about is if Angelina is fully healed from the injuries she sustained in her feud with Ariel. This is only her fourth match since SUMMERSLAM! Angelina gets in the ring and the two lock right up.  Mickie gets in a side headlock , Angelina quickly escapes and shoves Mickie off the ropes who comes back with a clothesline sending Angelina down.  Mickie stops on a dime and turns to drop a leg across the chest.     Angelina gets up and Mickie hits a quick kick to the chest and runs off the ropes.  Angelina though leap frogs Mickie and falls on her back.  Mickie comes back off the ropes and Angelina monkey flips her, sending Mickie flying high in the air and crashing to the mat.  Angelina gets up so does Mickie.  Angelina tries then to lock in the Kiss of Death and applies the front bearhug but Mickie counters with headbutt.  Angelina quickly regains control kicking Mickie and  whipping her into the corner.        Angelina approaches and Mickie fires off a kick to the gut as Angelina comes near.  Mickie spins Angelina around and begins to work her over in the corner with a few quick kicks and punches as Angelina tries to cover up. The ref backs off Mickie and as soon as Angelina is out of the corner Mickie is right on her, smacking the back of her neck and hitting a running bulldog.  Mickie goes for a cover. 1... 2... Kick out. Mickie kicks Angelina in the back and runs off the ropes for an elbow drop but Angelina moves out of the way.  Both women get up at the same time.  Mickie lays in a shot that stagers Angelina, but she comes back with a kick to the gut.  Mickie lets loose with an upper cut and Angelina fires back with a chop. Styles: These beautiful women are beating the hell out of each other.  Mickie tries for a clothesline but Angelina ducks and hits a one legged drop kick. JBL: That move took a lot of precision and balance.  I guess Angelina is still in fighting form. Mickie gets up but Angelina lets loose a straight boot to the gut, runs off the ropes and hits a flipping neck breaker.    She hooks the leg for a cover. 1.... 2..... Shoulder up.  Angelina picks up Mickie and rings the left arm.  Then she does a cartwheel and brings her down to the mat.  She quickly applies an arm bar, but Mickie gets up to her feet and frees her self with an elbow to the head.    Mickie whips Angelina into the corner and runs in full force but is caught with a headscissors and Angelina locks in the SEXY SPIDER.  JBL It’s a miscariage of justice to call a move that hot illegal if you ask me.  Mickie screams in pain and Angelina is forced to break the hold.  Mickie goes to the outside and holds her back in pain. Mickie shakes her head and gets on the apron.   Angelina advances but Mickie fires off a shoulder through the ropes  in the mid section. She gets in and fires off a  knee to the jaw.  Mickie then grabs her by the head and bashes Angelina’s head off the turn buckle.  From there she snap mares her down and kicks Angelina in the small of the back.    Mickie picks her up, hits a jaw breaker and goes for a cover. 1.... 2... Shoulder up. Styles: I have to say John I am really enjoying this match up here, these two women are really giving it their all. JBL: Of course they are, its Saturday Night’s Main Event I would expect nothing but their best damn it. Mickie whips Angelina off the ropes, hits a swinging neck breaker and drops an elbow.   She again goes for the pin. 1.. 2.. 2..99 Shoulder up.  Mickie picks up Angelina by the hair and pulls her back down with it while placing her knee out for a back breaker. She goes for another cover. 1... 2...   2..99 Kick out. Styles: Mickie James has done everything in her power to get the win and Angelina still keeps kicking out. JBL: You sound surprised, she has been in wars throughout her career. Mickie tries to pick Angelina in a front facelock and looks for her Tornado DDT finisher but Angelina counters with a Samoan drop.    JBL: What an impressive counter.  Angelina slowly gets to her feet and so does Mickie.  Styles: Both women have expended a lot of energy here tonight.  I have to think this could be over soon.    Angelina snap mares her into a seated position, runs off the ropes and hits a huge drop kick in the face.  She picks up Mickie, whips her into the corner and charges in full force.  Mickie though springs up to the top rope, kicks her legs backwards and hooks Angelina by the head. Styles: Mickie is thinking Huricanranna here.  Angelina though takes a few steps back and falls backwards for an electric chair drop. She goes for the pin.  1... 2... 2.99 Shoulder up by Mickie.  Angelina slams Mickie down to the ground and hits a standing Moonsault.  1.... 2..... 2....99 Kick out. Angelina can not believe it she point to the top rope and climbs it.  Styles: Angelina is going for the Flying Angle will it pay off? Angelina leaps off the top rope but Mickie gets out of the way and Angelina hits the referee.  Styles: Oh my god the referee is out cold.  Angelina is in disbelief and then turns right into a knock out kick by Mickie.  She goes for the cover.  JBL: Ah come on Ref get your butt up, most men would pay to have Angelina do that to them. Frustrated Mickie goes to the referee and shakes him furiously.  From behind Angelina gets a roll up and bridges for a pin.  The ref regains consciousness and counts. 1.... 2..... 2...99 3. Lillian: Here is your winner.  Angelina Williams.       JBL: Call it unfair or call it controversial, call it what you want I call it a win.  Styles: You’re right there partner.  A tough break for Mickie James here tonight but in the end it was Angelina who picked up an impressive victory tonight.  Backstage: Michael Cole walks into the parking garage where Stone Cold is pacing and cursing as his patience is running out. COLE: Stone Cold, I take it Psycho Sid isn’t here yet… AUSTIN: Oh you figured that out all by yourself did you? Is that supposed to impress me? COLE: No, it’s just… AUSTIN: No it’s just…SHUT UP! I don’t know where this guy’s at but it’s starting to piss me off! If he’s so damn tough, if he’s so damn brave, he should be here fighting me right now! Austin turns to continue pacing  but Cole isn’t done. COLE: Wait Stone Cold, I have another question, completely unrelated to Sid or the legends match. AUSTIN: Is that a fact? Well don’t just stand there you mealy mouth bastard ask before I decide to open Sid’s can of whoop ass on you! COLE: What is your reaction to what happened between Absinthe and Morganna earlier tonight? AUSTIN: What are you, stupid? I’ve been here in the parking garage waiting for Sid all night. You see any monitors out here? I have no idea what the hell you’re talking about. COLE: Well she won her match AUSTIN: Good. I had no doubt she would. COLE: And then Morganna attacked her from behind, tied her hands behind her back and uh… Austin is glaring at him. COLE: Put her in the Vampiric Embrace… AUSTIN: What the hell is a Vampiric Embrace son? COLE: Well it’s a bearhug… AUSTIN: Then call it a bearhug! You want my reaction, I think it sucks! COLE: I guess Monday when you said you were protecting both of them you never expected you’d need to protect Absinthe from Morganna… AUSTIN: Oh is that supposed to be funny? HAHA! Here’s something funny too! Austin punches Cole in the face, knocking him down, then stomps a mudhole in him against the parking garage wall! The camera follows Austin, leaving Cole out cold on the floor, as he makes his way to the trainer’s room… STYLES: Wait a minute, Austin is forgetting about Sid because of what happened to Absinthe? Did I miss something? JBL: If you did I missed it too. HANNIBAL VS ABDULLAH THE BUTCHER LILLIAN: The following contest will be held under Extreme Rules. Introducing first, from Ottawa, Ontario, Canada, weighing 295 pounds, the Extreme Rules champion HANNIBAL Hannibal walks out to a chorus of boos carrying a glass jar, and poses on the ring apron before getting in the ring and taking the mic from Lillian. HANNIBAL: Vampiro, watch this match real closely because this is a preview of what I’ll do to you at Wrestlemania! See this jar in my hand? I’m going to fill this with your mentor’s blood and give it to Morganna as a trophy! Now get Abdullah out here so I can put him away for good! LILLIAN: His opponent, led to the ring by his manager Honest John Cheatum, from Sudan, weighing 360 pounds, ABDULLAH THE BUTCHER STYLES: Did she say his name is Honest John CHEATUM! ? JBL: I believe so… STYLES: I need a drink… Abdullah comes out slowly with his head wrapped in a turban. His manager, who looks a cross between Paul Heyman and a used car salesman, leads the way. As Abdullah tries to climb the steps, Hannibal rushes over and begins pounding on his head over the ropes! JBL: Hannibal isn’t even letting Abdullah in the ring! Abdullah eventually is driven down to the floor and Hannibal rolls out. He shoves Honest John, stomps on Abdullah, then pulls him up and bashes his head off the steps over and over. Hannibal then pulls the turban off and chokes Abdullah with it. STYLES: Even though Hannibal can wrestle I don’t think you’ll see much wrestling here, even though it might be in his best interest to wear Abdullah out with mat wrestling. JBL: That’s true and I don’t think he can really use the power game. I think Hannibal is more powerful than Abdullah but because of Abdullah’s size he won’t be able to throw him around. If anything Abdullah will find it easier to move Hannibal around… Hannibal pounds away with his fist and Abdullah is just standing there taking the punishment. Hannibal sinks his teeth into Abdullah’s forehead and shakes his head like a dog. STYLES: He is just ripping at the flesh! Abdullah may be adding more scars and gashes to his head before this end! JBL: He’s drawn first blood! Hannibal spits out Abdullah’s blood and buries a few knees into the midsection. He goes to ram Abdullah into the steps again but he blocks and chops Hannibal in the throat! Hannibal staggers away and Abdullah reaches into his tights…pulling out a fork! STYLES: Already!? Hannibal comes back and Abdullah stabs him in the forehead with the fork! Hannibal grabs his face and bellows in pain. Abdullah grabs his hair from behind, pulls his head back and stabs him again and again! JBL: This is getting disgusting. Abdullah digs the fork into Hannibal’s forehead! Hannibal screams in pain, then Abdullah jabs the fork into Hannibal’s mouth! STYLES: This match is about two minutes old and both men are already bleeding. Hannibal staggers away and Abdullah follows, ramming him into the other set of stairs and stabbing him with the fork again! Hannibal stumbles to the announce table. JBL: Don’t bleed on my hat! Abdullah begins to gouge him with the fork again but Hannibal buries an elbow into the chest and slams Abdullah’s head into the table. Then he grabs the fork. STYLES: I’m going to be sick… Hannibal repeatedly stabs the fork into Abdullah’s forehead, then sticks it into one of the deep grooves scared into Abdullah’s head! Both men’s faces are already covered in blood. Hannibal rams Abdullah into the apron and rolls him into the ring. Inside, he knocks Abdullah back down with a boot. 1……………2……………shoulder up. Hannibal stomps on the leg of Abdullah to keep him down, then repeatedly drops elbows to the chest. After hitting seven in a row, he covers him. 1………………..2……………kickout. Hannibal goes back on the offence, stomping away. JBL: Abdullah can’t even move but he still refuses to be pinned.  And we have yet to see a wrestling move! Abdullah struggles to get up and Hannibal keeps pounding on him. He goes for a belly to belly suplex but can’t lift him! JBL: See? I told you so. He can’t execute the move! Abdullah headbutts Hannibal to get free, chops him in the throat to back him into a corner, then mauls him with punches, chops, palm strikes and a headbutt. Abdullah brings Hannibal out of the corner, then drops him with a thrust to the throat. With Hannibal down and coughing, Abdullah climbs to the first turnbuckle. JBL: What is he doing!? Abdullah splashes Hannibal! 1……………………..2……………… STYLES: He’s got him! Hannibal somehow kicks out! Abdullah signals to his manager who hands him a beer bottle. JBL: What? They have beer and they didn’t offer any to the wrestling God? BLASPHEMY! Abdullah breaks the bottle on the ring post… STYLES: Oh God no… Hannibal walks right into a broken beer bottle shot to the face! Hannibal rolls around holding his face. JBL: I wonder what Morganna is thinking as she watches this. STYLES: After what she did earlier I would rather not think about Morganna! Hannibal gets up using the ropes and Abdullah moves in with the beer bottle again, but Hannibal boots him in the gut and rakes the gashes in his head. This causes Abdullah to drop the bottle and Hannibal picks it up. He immediately jabs it into Abdullah’s face over and over. JBL: If one of them would try a wrestling move he might win the match suddenly! Perhaps hearing JBL, Hannibal stuns Abdullah with a headbutt and then bodyslams him! STYLES: Oh my God! What power! Hannibal flexes and taunts the crowd. He then measures Abdullah as he tries to get up and locks in the Claw hold! JBL: This could be it! STYLES: Oh God…look his fingers are actually going inside the wounds on Abdullah’s head! Abdullah is forced back to his knees and Hannibal smiles evilly as he squeezes with the claw. He looks at Honest John and says, “You’re next fat boy!” Then to the ref he shouts, “ASK HIM!” The ref asks but Abdullah won’t give up. Eventually it looks like he is fading. HANNIBAL: He’s out! Check his arm! The ref checks and it falls once…twice…on the third time Abdullah holds up his hand and begins punching Hannibal in the stomach. He finally breaks the hold and Abdullah reaches into his tights…pulling out a second fork! JBL: I guess that’s his desert fork. Abdullah stabs Hannibal and he goes down. STYLES: This match can’t possibly go much longer. Abdullah tries to stab down into Hannibal’s eye but he blocks it and kicks Abdullah away. Hannibal boots Abdullah in the gut and tries to set up the gutwrench powerbomb but can’t lift the madman from Sudan. Honest John comes in and hits Hannibal in the back while he is still trying to lift Abdullah. Hannibal turns around and says, “That’s it you mother#*#*#*&” He kicks Cheatum in the gut, clotheslines him and begins to stomp away. Abdullah slugs Hannibal from behind to rescue his manager. Hannibal staggers into a corner and Honest John urges Abdullah to go for the avalanche. He does go for it but Hannibal pulls Cheatum in the way and he gets squashed between Hannibal and Abdullah! JBL: Good for him! Hannibal knocks Abdullah down with a boot and then pulls Cheatum up. Gutwrench powerbomb! STYLES: So much for Honest John. Hannibal then puts the Cobra Clutch on Abdullah. Abdullah slowly fades as blood continues to pour from his head. The ref tries the arm and it drops once….twice…three times! HERE IS YOUR WINNER: HANNIBAL Hannibal stomps away on Honest John a bit after the victory and tosses him out of the ring. He then rolls out and grabs the jar he brought to the ring with him. STYLES: He isn’t really going to do this is he? Hannibal holds Abdullah’s head over the jar to make him bleed inside it, then seals it and stomps on the fallen legend’s head. He rolls out of the ring and approaches the camera holding the jar up. HANNIBAL: Look at this Vampiro! Look at what I did to your mentor! Now I’ll give his blood to Morganna as a present before I give her the big present at Wrestlemania…YOU OUT OF HER LIFE FOREVER! Commercial Backstage Raven is sitting on the floor. RAVEN: Wrestlemania is fast approaching, the night when lightning will strike twice and history will repeat itself! I am undefeated in ladder matches here in the WWE and that trend will continue… He stops suddenly and looks up as Christian is standing over him. CAGE: Along with what other trends Raven? Are we going to see you send in a bunch of lame goons to waste my time and wear me down? Are you going to jump me from behind when I’m not expecting it and DDT me on a chair again? Are you going to keep spewing a bunch of verbal diarrhoea? Or are you going to fall in love with some chick who is a thousand times too hot for you, call her your salvation, then turn into a dick, screw things up with her and get dumped like you did with Eve Torres? Raven jumps up in fury and begins to trade punches with Christian! STYLES: Here’s another trend that’s continuing: Another out of control fight here on Saturday Night’s Main Event! No officials show up to break it up and they keep punching and tearing at each other until they reach a door to the arena. Raven whips Christian into the door and tackles him against it. It flies open and both men go outside where they continue to fight as the door slams shut behind them. JBL: That’s one of those automatic locking doors. I think Raven and Christian just got themselves locked out of the building! Khali Kiss Cam In the ring is Khali and Runjin Singh.  Runjin: Ah its once again time for the Punjabi Prince of Passion to pick a pretty lady.  But before he changes the life of one of  this city’s finest females the Great Khali has something he wants to say to Father James Mitchell and his freak of nature Brimstone.  Last week you put your disgusting hands on a sweet innocent woman who happened to be a fan of the Great Khali.    As result the Great Khali took exception to your sickening advances.  It’s people like Brimstone who give giants like the Great Khali a bad name so at Wrestlemania the Great Khali will take that United States title from you and be the champion the fans don’t have to fear.  Now with that said Khali I have found the prettiest woman in all of New Orleans. JBL: You know Runjin is at best 50/50 with these things.   I have to wonder what woman he’s found tonight.   Runjin: Trust Me Khali you won’t be disappointed   So with out ado let’s bring out Claudia. A sexy theme is blasted over the P.A and a spotlight is cast upon the entrance way. But within seconds the music stops and its replaced with the eerie sounds of the New Church’s theme. Out from the entrance way comes the Sinister Minster Father James Mitchell JBL: Ah come on, what the hell is this television preacher doing out here when I was promised Louisiana’s finest. No NO!!! This is an outrage damn it! Mitchel: Sorry to disappoint you, well not really, but it seems Claudia has found herself a better man.    On the Titantron a dimly lit room comes into picture and the sounds of a girl screaming blast over the P.A.   The camera spins to show a terrified woman screaming as Brimstone simply stands tilting his head and slowly walking towards her.  He touches the girl by the hair who cowers in fear.  Styles: This is sickening.    In the ring The Great Khali is fuming and climbs out of the ring in pursuit of Mitchell who takes off.    Commerical break. Styles: Well we are happy to report that officals found Brimstone and were able to rescue that poor girl.  She must have been traumatized by that evil creature that is Brimstone. JBL: Well he’s a man and has needs to Styles.  Styles: Yeah is one of those needs terrifying sweet and innocent women?  I tell you he and that entire faction are twisted demonic monsters.  I hope at Wrestlemania the Great Khali squeezes the life out of Brimstone with the Khali Vice Grip.    HURRICANE HELMS VS RANDY ORTON LILLIAN: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from Raleigh, North Carolina, weighing 221 pounds, HURRICANE HELMS Helms comes out accompanied by Edge, although he doesn’t look happy about the arrangement. STYLES: Helms looks unhappy and I don’t blame him to be honest. He is facing one man who could be viewed as a suspect in that attack at the Royal Rumble and managed by the number one suspect! LILLIAN: His opponent, from St Louis Missouri, weighing 245 pounds, RANDY ORTON Orton comes out alone and cautiously enters the ring, keeping an eye on Edge. JBL: Conspicuous by his absence is Ric Flair, he wasn’t happy about what Orton did to Triple H on Raw. Orton walks over to the ropes and tells Edge to stay out of his business. Helms rolls Orton up from behind…..1……………………..2……………..nearfall! STYLES: Never take your eyes off your opponent! Orton is up fast but Helms rocks him with a series of punches, sends him into the ropes and hits a high leg lariat. 1…………..2………..kickout. Helms hits an aggressive kick to the ribs as Orton tries to get up and dropkicks him out of the ring! JBL: Helms is being very aggressive here, maybe he suspects Orton is the one who took him out! Helms slingshots himself over the ropes with a crossbody on Orton, then rams his head into the steps. Orton rolls in and Helms comes in with a springboard clothesline! 1……………….2……………shoulder up. Helms hits a million dollar kneelift and then a swinging neckbreaker! Edge actually doesn’t look happy. STYLES: It looks to me like Edge isn’t happy that Helms is taking it to one of his Wrestleamania opponents like this! Helms goes to the top rope, but when he leaps off Orton catches him in midair with a dropkick! 1………………..2………………shoulder up! JBL: Now Helms’ resilience will be put to the test! Let’s see if the time off has caught up to him! Orton unleashes the Randy Orton stomp and then drops a knee to the chest. 1…………………..2…………………shoulder up. Orton locks in a vicious chinlock and wrenches the neck as much as he can. He is looking right at Edge while he does it and shouts, “YOU’RE NEXT EDGE!” EDGE: Just worry about Greg douchebag! Orton keeps the hold on for a quite a while and Helms appears to be fading. The ref checks the arm. It drops once…twice…Helms holds it up the third and struggles to his feet. He elbows free and runs the ropes only to be powerslamed! 1………………..2…………….shoulder up! Orton measures Helms for the RKO! JBL: It could be a short match! He goes for it but Helms twists to the side into a neckbreaker! STYLES: Oh my God… 1……………….2…………….. 2..99999 Orton gets the shoulder up! Helms leans on the ropes, then takes Orton down with a clothesline when he stands up, followed by a dropkick, a spinning heel kick and a low dropkick. 1……………………………2……………………………shoulder up! Helms gets into a mount position and pounds away at Orton, then whips him into the ropes, kicks him and takes him down with a quick hurricanrana. 1……………………….2……………………shoulder up. Orton takes a swing at Helms but he ducks and pulls Randy backwards into a modified sweeping backbreaker! 1………………………………2…………………….kickout. STYLES: What will it do to Randy Orton’s momentum if he loses here? JBL: It will wreck his confidence if he loses by pinfall this close to his chance at the biggest prize on the grandest stage. For Helms a victory here would be huge, it would put him in title contention, especially if Orton wins the title! Helms applies a hammerlock…then turns it into a hammerlock Russian leg sweep. He floats over into a pin with the arm still trapped. 1……………..2………….Orton kicks out. JBL: He had to use his legs for that kickout. Helms had his arm trapped. Helms kicks Randy in the gut when he gets up, runs the ropes and hits a one kneed facebuster! 1……………………………….2…………………..Orton gets the shoulder up and rolls to his belly with a far away look in his eyes. STYLES: We could be looking at a huge upset! JBL: You’re right, Helms is taking it to him and right now he doesn’t look like he needs any help from anybody! Helms hops up on the second rope. When Orton stumbles up Helms flies off with a blockbuster! 1…………………………..2……………………. Shoulder up! Helms gets into position for the Shining Wizard, but Orton rolls out of the ring for a time out. Helms hits a baseball slide, then throws Orton back in! He goes to the top and tries a missile dropkick but Orton catches his legs and hits a powerbomb of sorts! STYLES: OH MY GOD! JBL: Yes? 1…………………………2………………….. 2.9999….. SHOULDER UP! JBL: With that one move Randy Orton has totally shifted the momentum of this match! Orton gets Helms in a corner and unloads with European Uppercuts, then stomps away at the midsection and chokes Helms with his boot. Orton snapmares Helms and kicks him in the back, pulls him up, measures him and knocks him down with another European Uppercut. 1…………………….2……………….shoulder up. Orton gets into a mount position and hammers away with fists. STYLES: This is Hurricane’s first match back after a concussion, who knows what kind of damage Randy Orton is doing!? Orton pulls Helms up, measures him and hits a Standing Dropkick. 1………………….2…………………shoulder up. Orton backs into a corner. STYLES: No! Not the punt! Orton goes for it but Helms moves. He hits a few right hands, but Orton avoids one and hits his inverted back to back neckbreaker! 1…………………………….2…………………….. Helms kicks out! JBL: Hurricane Helms is proving right now that he can be a main event level competitor. He is trying to seize the opportunity here that he may well have seized at the Royal Rumble if he hadn’t been taken out! Orton lifts Helms into an overhead backbreaker, then tosses him backwards into a falling neckbreaker! 1………………………..2………………………….. HELMS KICKS OUT! Orton slaps the mat in frustration. Edge is watching intently and suddenly his eyes go wide. STYLES: What does he…oh no. Kevin Thorn is walking down the aisle and stops at ringside. JBL: What’s he doing out here!? STYLES: With his reputation, anything he wants! Orton sees Thorn and tells him to stay out of this. Thorn ignores Orton and glares menacingly at Edge! Orton gives Helms a front suplex onto the ropes and knocks him off to ringside. He lands at Thorn’s feet. Thorn picks Helms up and throws him forcefully back into the ring! STYLES: Why did he do that? JBL: Maybe Thorn doesn’t like Helms. Maybe this is a retaliation for Helms saving Edge on Raw, and who knows maybe Thorn is the one who took Helms out and he wants the job to be finished! STYLES: Why would Thorn take out Helms!? That’s ridiculous! JBL: No it isn’t! I once called this guy the walking tower of angry and for good reason. If you look at him cross eyed he might slap the taste out of your mouth! Helms could have made one off comment about vampirism or going for the title and set this maniac off! He has the power to give someone a concussion before they know what hit them, especially if he uses that big walking stick! Edge protests and Thorn clearly says, “Come over here and do something about it!” Edge instead makes a show of shouting encouragement to Helms. Orton goes for the RKO, but Helms shoves him off. Orton comes back off the ropes and runs into a spinning heel kick. He rolls out onto the apron and Helms knocks him off with a dropkick! STYLES: Helms is showing tremendous resilience here! Thorn looks down at Orton…then grabs him and throws him into the ring! STYLES: Apparently Kevin Thorn has decided to turn this into a lumberjack match! JBL: He can’t do that! He has no business out here! STYLES: Go tell him to leave then! JBL: I’m needed here. Orton gets to his knees and argues with Thorn. Helms hits a running enziguri! 1………………………….2………………….shoulder up! JBL: He should have tried for the Shining Wizard there. Helms goes to pick Orton up, but Randy takes him down with a double leg takedown and catapults him towards the corner…Helms catches onto the turnbuckles like Spiderman and leaps back at Orton with a crossbody…..1……………….2……………………shoulder up! Helms goes for the Shining Wizard but Orton dodges, rolls Helms up and puts his feet on the ropes for added leverage. STYLES: Come on ref! 1……………………. Helms is even yelling, “Foot on the rope” 2……………………. THORN PUSHES ORTON’S FOOT OFF THE ROPE AND HELMS GETS THE SHOULDER UP! JBL: He can’t do that! STYLES: Why not? Orton tried to cheat his way to victory! Edge gets on the apron which distracts the ref. Orton is on his knees leaning through the ropes and cursing Thorn. ORTON: Stay out of my business you freak! Thorn hauls off and punches Orton right in the jaw! Orton reels backwards… SHINING WIZARD! Helms hooks both legs as the ref turns. 1…………………. 2……………… 3! HERE IS YOUR WINNER HURRICANE HELMS! Helms jumps up to celebrate while Orton rolls dazedly out of the ring. STYLES: Hurricane Helms has just defeated one of the number one contenders for the WWE title! If Randy Orton wins the title that would make Helms the automatic number one contender wouldn’t it? JBL: It just might…I want to know where was Evolution when this was going on? STYLES: Maybe Ric Flair was upset about what Orton did to Triple H and not only decided not to show up with Orton but also convinced Brock Lesnar not to help the Legend Killer. Maybe Orton was so confident he told them not to come here tonight because he could take on Helms himself…or maybe they just didn’t want any part of Kevin Thorn! Thorn walks around the ring towards Edge. Edge sees him coming and says, “Greg! Hey Greg!” But Helms just exits the ring and walks up the aisle with his hands raised. Orton is arguing with the ref, then chases him up the aisle! JBL: Orton’s upset and I don’t blame him! That ref had better run! Thorn chases Edge around ringside. Edge rolls into the ring with Thorn coming after him. Edge is saying, “Come on Kevin, I have to wrestle later! We’ll fight at Mania not now! Hey come on I didn’t even do anything with Ariel, she’s the one who sent me the…” Edge shuts up too late as Thorn grabs him by the throat. Mark Henry runs in and hits Thorn from behind! JBL: I think Edge set Thorn up there! Henry pounds away at Thorn while Edge gets out of the ring and encourages Henry. A clothesline knocks Thorn down. He gets up in the corner and Henry mauls him. Edge is laughing until Thorn fires back with a few big right hands. Henry fires back too and a slugfest breaks out. Henry staggers Thorn with a headbutt and pounds him on the ropes. He sends Thorn into the ropes, Thorn ducks a clothesline and comes back with a high impact clothesline that runs right over Mark Henry! STYLES: I was just about to say it will take a truck to take Mark Henry down but Thorn beat me to it. JBL: I’ve wrestled him, that feels like getting hit by a truck. STYLES: Yeah you lost too. JBL: SHUT UP! Henry gets up and stumbles forward… FLAPJACK ON MARK HENRY! STYLES: DID I JUST SEE THAT!? JBL: See it? I felt the building shake! Edge is halfway up the aisle looking concerned now. STYLES: Earlier this week Edge said Kevin Thorn was only impressive beating up on a cruiserweight. What is he thinking now that Thorn has just flapjacked all four hundred pounds of the World’s Strongest Man!? Thorn waits for Henry to get up, sends him into the ropes and connects with a vicious reverse elbow to the jaw! Blood spurts out of Henry’s mouth! JBL: The elbow from Hades! Edge holds his own jaw in sympathy pain. Looking at Edge, Thorn gets into a mount position and rains down a barrage of punches to the face of Mark Henry! STYLES: Henry’s face is being beaten bloody! Thorn finally stops, holds up his fists which are now covered in blood, and points at Edge. Edge tugs at his hair in disbelief and frustration. Henry crawls to a corner and tries to get up, but Thorn turns and hits a running boot to the side of his head! STYLES: If Edge hoped to soften Thorn up a bit more after Raw by sicking Mark Henry on him it didn’t work! JBL: That had to take something out of him, but it also showed how dangerous he can be.  Edge said Thorn is impressive against cruiserweights but he did beat the Great Khali last year, he beat Tarzan Goto, and most impressive of all he even beat me! That was a fluke of course… Thorn’s music plays as he raises his two bloody hands to the cheers of the crowd. Commercial The Glass Shatters and the crowd is on their feet before Stone Cold Steve Austin even walks out from behind the curtain. The Rattlesnake storms down to the ring, poses on the corners, then grabs a microphone. STYLES: Austin looks pissed! AUSTIN: Before I get down to talking about that yellow belly piece of crap Sid and the Legends match at Wrestlemania I have a few other things to say. Monday as a favour to Kane I said I’d watch out for Morganna and Absinthe so he wouldn’t have to leave his old man’s bedside and could go right to training with his brother. I do that. I show up here wanting to fight Psycho Sid and he doesn’t show up. I wait out in the parking lot and the first person I see is not Sid, it’s Michael Cole, which puts me in a bad mood to start with! Then he tells me Morganna attacked Absinthe. I saw Absinthe in the trainer’s room and I  know exactly what happened right down the smallest detail…and it pisses me off. Morganna, you won’t be able to count on old Stone Cold to protect you now, you’ll need someone to protect you! If I see your pale Crow Ho face this is what I’d like to do. I’d like to take that pasty white chin of yours…put it right here… Austin gestures at his shoulder. AUSTIN: Cinch it up tight. Put some stink on  it. Boom. Stone Cold Stunner. JBL: Why is he so mad about what happened to Absinthe? AUSTIN: But lucky for you, Absinthe will want to whip your ass herself at Wrestlemania, and I’m going on record right now saying she is going to open a green can of whoop ass on you, and that’s the bottom line because Stone Cold said so! The crowd cheers. AUSTIN: Now let’s look at my Wrestlemania match! I’m teaming up with the craziest son of a bitch in the WWE and I’m not talking about that oversized Goldilocks looking bastard who wears a black vest to try and look like Stone Cold, I’m talking about Cactus Jack! I’ve got Jim the Anvil Neidhart who I know for a fact hits like a ton of bricks…I’ve got Goldust who is a hell of a hand and he can be in my corner as long as he doesn’t even think about standing behind me! I’ve got a 450 pound Mastadon…don’t really care for him wearing his jock strap on his face but whatever floats your boat son. And then a guy I trust as far as I can throw him, Jake the Snake Roberts. With Stone Cold leading the way the six of us are going to open Texas sized can of whoop ass on Sid, Randy Savage, the Genius, Sgt Slaughter, Brutus the Barber and Hulk- Austin is cut off in mid sentence as “Real American” hits over the sound system. JBL: Are you kidding me? Hulk Hogan walks out on the stage and the crowd goes crazy while Austin glares up the aisle at him. STYLES: You can just feel the tension in the air here! Austin wants Sid and instead he’s getting Hulk Hogan! Hogan gets in the ring and takes a microphone. HOGAN: Whoa whoa, slow down a bit brother! Let me tell you something Stone Cold, you aren’t going to open anything on me! Me and the guys on my team are the ones that made this thing as big as it is brother, we paved the way and made it possible for Austin 3:16 to happen. AUSTIN: WHAT? HOGAN: Oh yeah, brother, Austin 3:16 would have never happened if it wasn’t for Hulkamania! And at Wrestlemania Austin, I’m going to lead my team to victory! So let me ask you something, whatcha gonna do when Hulkamania- Hogan is cut off in mid sentence by the music of Psycho Sid! STYLES:  He’s finally here. As both Hogan and Austin turn to look up the aisle, Sid heads down the aisle and steps over the ropes. AUSTIN: It’s about time you show up! HOGAN: What do you want Sid? SID: Both of you shut the hell up!  Just shut up! You’re driving me crazy with all this talk! AUSTIN: That’s a short drive son. SID: I’ll deal with you later you baldheaded puke! Right now I want to talk to you Hulk Hogan! You say you’re going to lead this team to victory? I don’t think so! Don’t think for one single solitary second that you are the captain of this team! You are nothing but a lowly subject of the Master and the Ruler of the World! Hogan gets in his face. HOGAN: Oh is that so? You don’t rule anything outside of your own mind brother- There is yet another interruption as Pomp and Circumstances hits. STYLES: What? Macho Man Randy Savage is here? Savage makes his way down to the ring accompanied by his brother, the Genius Lanny Poffo. Austin is standing back in a corner, ready to fight as he is alone in the ring with four members of the opposing team at Wrestlemania. SAVAGE: Look at this Lanny, isn’t this cute? Isn’t this fun, Hulk Hogan and Psycho Sid arguing over who the team captain is. Well I’ve been thinking…thinking…thinking and the only conclusion I come to is I’m the one who should be captain of this team! The Macho Man is a subject of no one and Psycho Sid the only throne you sit upon is the porcelaine one in the bathroom, DIG IT? And as for you Hulk Hogan hell will freeze over before the Madness follows the Mania, yeah, and if you have a problem with that I’ll bust you up right here right now in front of all your little pukesters! Hogan clenches his fists and Savage and the Genius spread out around him. Brutus Beefcake runs in from the back, slides in and stands beside Hogan, ready to join him in a fight if one breaks out. Sid is yelling at everyone. As the stand off continues and Austin is now watching with a smirk, Sgt. Slaughter’s music hits! STYLES: This team is about to explode before our eyes and Stone Cold loves it! JBL: Slaughter’s going to have to try and get this team in order here! Sarge gets in the ring and takes the mic. SLAUGHTER: At ease you maggots! This is no way to run a war! United we stand and divided we fall… He gets no further as Jake the Snake’s music hits. Jake comes down to the ring carrying the ominous green canvas bag. He takes the mic. JAKE: United we stand and divided we fall, how original Slaughter. But all of the clichés you want to come up with don’t change the truth my man. Hulk Hogan held Randy back. You know it Savage, you were the champion and when the Mega Powers were together you carried the team. But who got the spotlight huh? Whose music played when you won a match even though you were the champion? And when the team fell apart what happened? Who remained the big star? What happened in WCW? Who was on top, and who got stuck in the shadows? And how about what Hogan did to Sid? For all your preaching about training and saying your prayers, you’re sneakier than I am Hogan. Sid eliminated you cleanly from the Royal Rumble and from the floor you helped eliminate him. But who got painted as the bad guy, huh? Sid. Who got blamed for all of the trouble leading up to your match at Wrestlemania? Sid. And Slaughter don’t think I forgot about you. You were the most popular man in the company, you were the American hero…until Hogan came along. Then you had to play second fiddle to him, they left you off the first Wrestlemanias…and then you got fired for accepting a deal with G.I. Joe. Doesn’t seem fair does it? To get the attention you deserved when you came back, you had to turn on your country and sympathize with Saddam Hussein, you had to face constant death threats over it, restaurants wouldn’t serve you, your family was in danger, Wrestlemania 7 was moved from an outdoor stadium to the Los Angeles Sports Arena because of bomb threats…and when you finally won the title, who took it from you? Hulk Hogan. BRUTUS: Quit trying to stir things up Snake! JAKE: Oh man I almost forgot about you, it’s so dark in Hulk Hogan’s shadow I didn’t see you there! Don’t be a chump all your life Brutus…you turned on him once, why should you let him hog the glory now? Hey Lanny! Yeah you, Genius…don’t forget Hulk’s little buddy here cut your hair in front of millions of people at Wrestlemania 6 and humiliated you! You weren’t even in the match, you were just trying to get his scissors away from ringside to help your friend the late great Mr. Perfect. The Genius glares over at Beefcake. Jake looks over at Austin. JAKE: Hey Stone Cold…I bet you a round of drinks that Savage and Genius could take Hogan and Beefcake any day of the week. AUSTIN: I don’t know about that. SAVAGE: Oh you don’t know about that? Well I say this, how about you just take yourself out of the ring, stand back and watch us do it right now OH YEAH! And as for you Sgt Slaughter and Psycho Sid, just stand back or you’ll get a taste of the Madness! Sid nails Randy! Macho Man gets up and tries to take Sid down, and Slaughter tries to get between them. Sid throws Sarge out of the ring! JBL: Jake the Snake accomplished his goal here! Slaughter gets back in, spins Sid around and starts punching him. Savage decks Hogan! Beefcake and the Genius are tussling. Jake sits down in a corner laughing. Austin watches for a minute…then wades in and begins throwing punches at everyone! STYLES: Is he crazy? Cactus Jack runs in and joins the fray as well. Now Austin is fighting Hogan and Cactus is trading blows with the Macho Man! Jim the Anvil Neidhart runs down and jumps onto the apron. He shouts Sid’s name just as Sid knocks Sarge down. Sid turns and the Anvil slingshots himself over the ropes with a shoulder block that knocks Sid down! Sid gets up and the Anvil drives him backwards into a corner, hitting a few shoulders to the gut. Sid pounds down on his back. Goldust and Vader have also arrived now to join the fray. Everyone is involved in the melee except Jake, who is now standing at ringside watching with a cold smile. Cactus takes Savage out of the ring with a Cactus clothesline and both men hit the floor! Slaughter hits the Anvil, and the Anvil grabs Sarge and tussles through the ropes with him. Vader is pounding on Hogan. Austin and Sid have gone after each other again! Goldust is now fighting on the floor with the Genius and Beefcake, who are swinging at both Goldust and each other! Vader knocks Hogan down with a clothesline and tries to splash him, but Hulk moves! When Vader gets up Hogan slams him! Vader rolls to the ropes, gets up, and gets clotheslined out of the ring by the Hulkster! Austin is hammering Sid with right hands but Sid knees him in the gut. Sid tries to powerbomb Austin, but Austin twists out and goes for the Stunner…Sid shoves him off right into Hogan! They begin to trade blows before Sid hits Austin the back. STYLES: No one is even trying to break this up! Finally Jake unties the string holding the bag shut and sends a huge python into the ring! Hogan and Sid back off and Jake gets in the ring laughing. He picks up the snake and menaces both men with it. Sid is actually backing away and holding his hand out while Hogan says “I’m out of here brother!” and gets out of the ring. JBL: Talk about mind over matter, Jake the Snake Roberts provoked an impromptu battle royal here and then took control of the ring without throwing a single punch! Sid points at the snake and shouts at Jake, “Get that thing out of the ring. The Master and Ruler of the World commands you!” JBL: Sid look out behind you! Austin is there! Austin spins Sid around, kicks him in the gut and hits the Stunner! STYLES: Oh my God! Stunner on Sid! Stunner on Sid! “Glass shatters” hits again and Austin gives the fallen Sid the double bird salute. Austin exchanges words with the Snake, who laughs and slides out of the ring. STYLES: I’d love to know what was said there. JBL: Stone Cold and Jake the Snake on the same page is an unpleasant thought… Austin is just about to begin celebrating when Todd Grisham comes down to the ring. STYLES: What’s he doing here? JBL: Being annoying. STYLES: He hasn’t done anything yet! JBL: The fact that he is breathing air in the same building as me annoys me! GRISHAM: Stone Cold, I know you were interrupted here, can I just get your reaction to this brawl? AUSTIN: It was fun! Now if you’ll excuse me I’m thirsty…wait, you like beer right? GRISHAM: Well yeah… AUSTIN: How about having a beer with Stone Cold? GRISHAM: Really? AWESOME! Austin gestures for a few beers and tosses one to Grisham. They crack the beers open, hit the cans together and drink…. STUNNER ON TODD GRISHAM! JBL: If Grisham didn’t see that coming he’s the biggest idiot in WWE! Austin laughs and gestures for more beer. STYLES: DTA…don’t trust anybody, especially not the Texas Rattlesnake! Austin cracks open and downs three beers simultaneously before leaving the ring. JBL: Austin comes out on top here tonight but after that Stunner, Sid is going to be gunning for Austin even more than he was before! On the stage, Austin turns back to the crowd and gives them all the two fingered salute (for which he is cheered of course!) MORGANNA VS EVE TORRES Styles: Welcome back to Saturday Nights Main Event.  Normally I don’t have to advise parent to not let your kids watch a divas match up but with what happened earlier tonight between Morganna and Absinthe I think its best to do so. JBL: Of course what four-eyes styles is referring to is perhaps one of the most sickening attacks in wrestling history.   (A Video Clip is shown of the sickening attack on Absinthe) One thing is for sure it’s a bad night to be Eve Torres. Styles: Hey let’s not sell Eve short she is one heck of a plucky fighter. JBL: How dare you think I would sell her short.  I know very well how tough Eve is but Morganna has led a path of destruction unlike any woman I have seen in the WWE.  I dare say she’s even loonier than Luna Vachon.   Morganna has lost what little sanity she had and as we saw earlier has no remorse for her actions.  Styles: Well then let’s commend Eve than for standing up against Morganna and maybe that attack on Absinthe will fire up Eve to look to avenge her fallen friend.  Lillian: The following match is scheduled for one fall.  Introducing first from Denver Colorado, Eve Torres. Styles: I have to wonder what is going on in the mind of Eve right now.  It had to be horrible to watch her friend get decimated by Morganna and not be able to do a damn thing about it because of that poor excuse for a human being that is Hannibal. JBL: Well now she has her chance to do something about that.  It’s put up or shut up time for Eve.   Styles:  Eve calls Morganna a bully and the only way to deal with them is to stand up to them, look them in the face and tell them you are not afraid. JBL: Come on Styles, Morganna is much more than some school yard bully.  She is a 3 time woman’s champion, pound for pound the strongest woman on the roster today and has competed in matches that are normally only fought by men.  Eve better raise her game to a whole new level if she wants to come out here walking let alone a winner. Lillian: And her opponent representing the Bloodline, from Los Angeles California, Morganna.  Morganna’s music blasts over the P.A and out she comes with a smirk on her face and the vicious insults are deafening. Morganna raises her arms as if she had just won the superbowl. Styles: This crowd is more then willing to tell Morganna just what they think of that attack on the WWE Woman’s champion.  JBL: Yeah but I bet not one woman, heck even most men wouldn’t say it to their face.  Styles When you look into the eyes of Morganna you see something truly terrifying.  Not an ounce of remorse for what she did earlier.  She truly is a psychopath.  JBL: Well like Mentor like Protegee.  You know one could say Morganna has took on the more fearful qualities of her mentor Kane but none of his more redeeming qualities.    Styles: Cold, calculating and all about hurting people, sometimes its hard to remember that she’s even a woman.  JBL: How dare you?  That was one of the most sexist comments I have ever heard.    Morganna uses the steel steps to get in and Eve glares at her in disgust. DING Ding Morganna walks up to Eve with big smile on her face.   The two circle each other and right away Morganna locks up and shoves Eve into the corner.   The ref forces a break and Morganna uses the chance for a slap across the back of the head.   She then lays in a quick kick to the back of leg.  Eve turns around and Morganna feigns a punch that causes Eve to flinch.  Morganna laughs at her and backs off.     JBL: Morganna is living up to her reputation of being a bully. The two lock up and Morganna grabs the arm and rings it.  Grabbing her head and extending the arm Morganna trips Eve viciously snapping the back of her head off the mat.   Holding the Arm up Morganna exposes the ribs of Eve and kicks her three times. JBL: Nothing like kicking them when they are down,  Styles: Would you stop it.  Morganna slaps Eve in the back of the head a few times and uses Eve’s own arm to choke her out as she locks in a sleeper. Morganna: What you want to talk behind my back, huh do you?   Say it to my face come on. Styles: Come on how does she expect her to talk while Morganna is practically choking her.  Eve struggles against the hold. Instead of trying to maintain it, Morganna lets Eve to her feet and boots her in the gut and then fires off a pummelling blow to her back. Morganna whips Eve into the corner and she falls into a seated position.   She runs towards her as Eve gets up.  Eve  gets an elbow up and connects with Morganna’s jaw .  Morganna runs at her and Eve leap frogs her then as Morganna turns Eve takes her down with a jiu-jitsu arm throw.   Morganna gets up but Eve brings her down to the mat with a waist lock take down.    Morganna struggles to free her self and is about free when Eve rolls her up.  1.... 2... Kickout. Styles: Eve nearly got the win early on, over confidence has always been Morganna’s Achilles heel.    Eve knocks Morganna down with a one footed dropkick, then another, and pins her for a two count. Morganna gets up to her feet and Eve to her credit clotheslines Morganna right over the top rope.  Styles:  John she has taken the fight to Morganna, who is usually a very quick start.  You have to think that attack is motivating Eve her tonight. JBL: Well I will hand it to Eve she hasn’t backed down at all from Morganna but what should be motivating her is the hope of walking out of this match in better condition than Absinthe.  Morganna storms around in frustration and slams her fist against the apron.   Eve stands up and smirks down at Morganna.   She pulls Eve out under the ropes and fires off a huge slap to the face and runs her over with a clothesline.  Morganna shouts “Stop laughing at me bitch!!”  Morganna fires off a kick to the gut doubling her over and Morganna clotheslines her down the mat again.  She  lifts Eve up and drops her chest first on the security barrier with a press slam.  Morganna rolls back in and out to break the count, boots Eve in the gut and delivers a snap suplex. JBL: This is the last place Eve wanted to be on the outside with arguably the best brawler in the women’s division.   Morganna tosses Eve back in the ring. She mounts her and lays in a few more punches and then bashes her skull off the mat.    Morganna backs off as the ref admonishes her only to just pick her back up.  She pushes Eve off the ropes and lays in a stiff forearm to the back.      Styles: Morganna has really slowed this match up to a slow and methodical pace. JBL: This is the pace she will need to set if she is going to beat Absinthe, though after that vicious assault that match may be academic As Eve sits up, Morganna fires off a punt like kick to the small of the back and then grabs Eve by the mouth and rams her hands inside them and pulls back at both of her cheeks. Styles: My god she’s fish hooking her. As Eve is racked in pain she fires off an elbow to the gut and bites down on Morganna’s hands. Morganna screams holding them in pain.  Morganna runs at her but Eve from a seated position tosses Morganna onto the second rope.  Morganna’s throat collides with the middle rope and Eve run full force with a seated senton on the back.  She begins to push down on Morganna’s head chocking her with the ring rope.    Styles: Eve is showing some aggression here and it makes perfect sense after what Morganna did to her friend.  JBL: Morganna could bring the hate out in even Ghandi.  Eve backs off as Morganna holds her throat.  Eve lays in a few vicious kicks to the ribs. Eve whips Morganna into the corner and Morgnana bounces out into an arm drag take down.   Eve keeps the arm bar on and pulls Morganna up to hit an arm bar DDT.  She goes for the pin.  1... 2... Shoulder up by Morganna.     Eve pulls Morganna up and lays in a stiff forearm to the face and a knee to the gut.  Eve tosses her off the ropes and connects with an elbow to the jaw. Styles: Come on Eve keep up the offence.  Morganna deserves every blow. JBL: How about we show a little neutrality Joey?  I will admit thought though I have never seen this side of Eve before.  As Morganan gets up Eve takes her down with a clothesline, then a drop kick and goes for a pin. 1...,. 2.... 2,,99 Shoulder up. Eve quickly applies a short arm scissor. STYLES: Eve Torres has a blue belt in Gracie Jiu-Jitsu and she is showing that off right now with this hold. JBL: Jiu-Jitsu emphasizes a lot of joint locks and attacking the arm of Morganna is a good strategy. Morganna grits her teeth in pain. She gets to her knees and stacks Eve up. 1……….Eve lets go to avoid being pinned. Morganna grabs her by the throat when they both stand but, but Eve kicks her in the side, then takes her down with an arm throw. She hits a low dropkick, covers for a two count, then applies a crossarm breaker! STYLES: That is almost identical to the Jujigatame we saw Absinthe use earlier! JBL: I just thought of something. Absinthe learned martial arts from Cindryn whose style is a mix of Shotokan Karate, Jiu-Jitsu and Ninjutsu from Japan. Eve took Gracie Jiu-Jitsu and those two are friends. They work out together and maybe they taught each other a few things from their respective martial arts backgrounds! This time Morganna actually screams in pain and kicks her legs desperately to get her foot on the ropes. STYLES: Even if she loses this match, Eve will have proven herself here and she can say she stood up to Morganna and took the fight to her. Eve gets to her feet first and tries to whip Morganna into the corner but she reverses and Eve hits hard with the small of her back.    Morganna uses a few seconds to regroup.  She then charges into the corner and Eve gets up into the second turnbuckle in a seated position.  She gets both feet up in the face of Morganna who backs away holding her face in pain.  Eve then gets to the top rope and measures Morganna for a cross-body splash.   Eve leaps but Morganna catches her in mid-air and delivers a huge back breaker with the knee.    Styles: Oh my God talk about pure power.  JBL: That back breaker could be the Eve of Eve’s destruction. Styles: This isn’t a joke.  Morganna has Eve at her mercy. JBL: Morganna has no mercy.  Morganna stomps Eve in the back and picks up her up and shoves her into the corner.  Morganna buries a knee into the gut.  Morganna takes a few steps back and hits the Unlucky Charm (shining wizard.)     She pulls Eve into the middle of the ring, climbs to the top rope and comes off with a decapitating Kane like clothesline.       JBL: Someone tell the Fat Lady she can start singing because this is over.  Instead of going for Devestasia, Morganna raises her arm much like Kane does and sizes Eve up for a chokeslam and hits it.  Morganna goes for the cover.  1...... 2..... JBL: Ball game. 3... Lillian: HERE IS YOUR WINNER MORGANNA  Styles: John what do you make of that, finishing off Eve in identical fashion to how Kane would. JBL`: Morganna may think she is paying tribute to Kane like that, but I have to think he’s going to furious with that pre-mediated attack on Absinthe whenever he finds out it happened.   I don’t think there is anything she can do to avoid the wrath of the big red machine. Morganna then reaches into her chest and pulls out more duct tape.  Styles: NO NO NO Not again.  Someone stop this. Morganna tapes up Eve’s hands, picks her up and locks in the Vampiric Embrace. A look of pain and fear comes to Eve’s face as Morganna squeezes her. Morganna: How funny am I now, Eve?    DO you think I am funny?  Laugh with me?  Laugh come on LAUGH BITCH.  Eve screams in pain but like Absinthe earlier she can’t even try to fight back. JBL: The ref is asking Morganna to let go but that’s not going to happen. I think Morganna is enjoying herself right about now. Just then from the back comes Absinthe who has her ribs tapped up.  STYLES: WHAT!? ABSINTHE! Morganna has no idea Absinthe is making her way down the ring and continues to squeeze Eve unmercifully.    Absinthe slides under the ring and kicks her in the back breaking the hold.  With a shocked look on her face, Morganna turns right into A Taste of Absinthe! Styles: That came right out of no where.  JBL: So did Absinthe.  I am shocked Absinthe can even stand let alone leap into the air with the precision and speed needed to do that move. STYLES: I think Morganna is out, she was spiked right on her head!  Absinthe rolls Morganna onto her stomach, then locks in the Wormwood Stretch.  Absinthe: Now it’s your turn to beg.  Come on, let’s hear you beg me for mercy! Now Morganna is the one who screams in pain as Absinthe tightens her legs around her neck and pulls up on her arm. Officials run to the ring and pull Absinthe off of Morganna who quickly rolls to the outside and collapses.  Absinthe stands in the ring holding her ribs, glaring daggers at Morganna. Morganna is holding her neck and shoulder area, seething in anger while Absinthe glares back, teeth bared in fury. JBL: I don’t think anyone has ever seen that look on Absinthe’s face before. For Absinthe to come back and go after Morganna like this after that attack earlier tonight, and then to have that look in her eyes, it has to be a blow to Morganna’s confidence! STYLES: If I could stand to talk to Morganna I would love to find out what she is thinking right now! Absinthe checks to see if Eve is ok as the ref gets the tape off her wrists. STYLES: I’m probably going to get in trouble for saying this but who cares. If Morganna really likes to tie people up with duct tape, if she is into this perverse bondage torture, maybe she should have hooked up with Angelina when she had the chance! JBL: STYLES! By Bradshaw! STYLES: I apologize for my comments, but Morganna keeps talking about how tough she is, so why does she need to resort to these tactics? I think she derives some kind of sick pleasure from it! She’s become even worse than Angelina was at the height of her sick dominatrix phase! JBL: Easy there Joey. If the Bloodline is back there listening just keep in mind that your wrestling God has been a shining example of neutrality…but you know come to think of it Ariel was not happy with Morganna’s actions earlier. Morganna has adopted my former tag team partner’s unique ability to piss off every person he encounters on the face of the earth! EDGE VS THE GIANT STYLES: This next match came about when Edge said he would allow Kevin Thorn to choose his opponent for tonight. Ariel approached Edge backstage in a very shall we say, flirtatious way and told him Thorn had selected three choices…Kane…the Undertaker…neither of whom Edge looked thrilled about facing…and finally the one Thorn had already decided on, the Giant! JBL: I think it was a bit of a mind game there, Thorn had made up his mind already, I don’t think picking Kane was even an option because he is not an active wrestler. Ariel told Edge Kane and the Undertaker were options so that he would think option 3 couldn’t be nearly as bad but guess what, it is! STYLES: Edge made some off the cuff remarks this past week about the Giant’s eye which only made the big man angry, and he actually laid out both Mark Henry and the Miz as a message. I think Edge had some plan for the Miz to help him in this match but that went down the tubes when Miz was taken out by the Undertaker, and Mark Henry was taken out by Kevin Thorn! Los Conquistador is not here that we know of also thanks to Thorn and do you really think Hurricane Helms is going to save Edge? LILLIAN: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, standing over seven feet tall and weighing 440 pounds, THE GIANT Giant walks to the ring looking like he is in a bad mood, steps over the ropes and raises his hand to signify a chokeslam. JBL: This man has to be the odds on favourite to win the Intercontinental title from Gangrel, no offence to Gangrel who is double tough, and one of the challengers for the WWE title might be decimated by this man in a few minutes. LILLIAN: His opponent, from Toronto, Ontario, Canada, weighing 245 pounds, EDGE Edge comes out looking very nervous and slowly approaches the ring. Giant stares coldly at him the entire time. Edge takes a mic and waits at ringside to collect his thoughts. When Edge gets in he says, “Look big man, this is all a big misunderstanding. When I was talking about your eye injury, I meant to say you were so courageous for bouncing back when anyone else would have retired. Not only that but look what you accomplished…I mean you got revenge on Everyone! You beat Hannibal, you retired Kurt Angle, you even beat Tarzan Goto at his own game! Now Kevin Thorn, you saw him earlier, unlike me he is sneaky. He set this all up to make trouble between us. But what he doesn’t know is we have an agreement for you to make sure no one tries to take me out before Wrestlemania. So how about we just shake hands have a technical exhibition here and go on with business as planned?” GIANT: Well Edge since you put it that way maybe I was a little hasty. Maybe I did misinterpret what you meant. EDGE: Well it’s totally understandable. You know those jerks edited my interview too and only put in what they wanted you to see. It’s a conspiracy against me! Guys like Jericho and Roddy Piper are jealous… JBL: Be careful Edge…don’t talk yourself out of one mess and into another! GIANT: I get it, it’s cool man. Let’s shake on it. They shake hands…Giant suddenly smiles coldly and squeezes Edge’s hand! Edge screams in pain and sinks to his knees as the bell rings. STYLES: Giant didn’t buy a word that Edge said! JBL: And worse the match starts and Giant has a hold of Edge! Edge is shouting in pain as Giant just squeezes his hand and laughs. He then jerks Edge right off the mat by his hand, up overhead, and tosses him hard to the canvas! STYLES: OH MY GOD! JBL: Oh my Bradshaw is right, I can’t believe he did that to a 240 pound man! Giant backs the stunned Edge into a corner, pushes his chin back and shushes the crowd as Edge shakes his head “NO!”. Frying pan chop! Edge tries to get out of the corner but Giant forces him back and gives him another frying pan chop, then a headbutt. Giant then biels Edge across the ring! JBL: Edge won’t make it to Wrestlemania if this keeps up! Giant charges but Edge dropkicks his knee and Giant’s face hits the turnbuckle. Edge hits a few kicks to the body and a right hand that hits Giant…in the eye… STYLES: Oh oh… Giant growls in pain and rage and glares at Edge. Edge backs up with his hands up saying, “Wait! I was aiming for your chin!” Giant grabs Edge by the hair and launches him clear over the ropes to the floor! Edge lands with a sickening splat and struggles to his feet. He looks at Giant then says, “Screw this!” and starts walking up the aisle. JBL: That’s a smart move! He has his title shot no matter what, he can take a count out loss here and avoid injury! Edge stops halfway up the aisle as Kevin Thorn walks out! STYLES: What does he do now? Does he face the angry world’s largest athlete in a sanctioned match or does he walk into the man you call the walking tower of angry!? Edge look back and forth and starts shouting at Thorn to wait for Wrestlemania. Giant comes up behind Edge, grabs him by the hair, headbutts him and throws him into the ring. Thorn remains at ringside. JBL: Just when you thought this couldn’t get any worse for Edge it does. His plan on Raw backfired, his attack on Thorn led him to get a big spinebuster, he was saved by Hurricane Helms who gave him a really cold smile that has to be getting in Edge’s head, he makes an offer for Thorn to pick his opponent and this is what happens, he puts his foot in his mouth, all of his backup gets taken out, and now this…it’s like Edge is cursed! Everything he tries to do does not work! Edge tries to get out of the ring on the opposite side, but Giant grabs him by the throat! Edge thumbs Giant in the eye and snaps his neck off the top rope. Edge goes to the top and hits a missile dropkick! 1…………….Giant sends him flying with a kickout. Edge hits a running kick to the face of Giant as he gets to his knees and gets another 1 count. As Giant gets up Edge puts him in a sleeper. Giant struggles to his feet and lifts Edge up on his back… STYLES: Oh oh… Giant backs into a corner, squashing Edge behind him. He smiles and leans all his weight on Edge! He leans forward only to fall back against Edge again! JBL: Edge is getting squished like a grape! Giant goes for the same tactic but Edge knees him in the back! Giant stumbles forward in pain. Edge hits a few punches, then runs the ropes but gets clotheslined by the Giant! Thorn looks up into stands and there we see Gangrel moving through the crowd, goblet in hand, with another man. STYLES: Here comes Gangrel…who’s that with him!? JBL: I don’t know, he looks a bit like Gangrel… They step over the barricade and fan out around the ring. Edge and Giant are both looking around. Giant looks confused, and Edge looks frightened as there are now vampires on three sides of the ring. Thorn is watching coldly, Gangrel is smiling and holding the goblet with both hands, and the newcomer bares his implanted fangs. STYLES: The Bloodline has a new member? JBL: As if they haven’t been dominant enough!? They have the two most important singles titles and the tag team titles as it is…for most of the past six months they had those titles and the women’s title in their camp and now there is another vampire running around? We’re being overrun by fanged freaks! While Edge is looking around, Giant hits him with a clubbing forearm across the back and he flies out of the ring near Gangrel! Edge looks up at his former friend, who is standing over him and smiling. Edge gets up and backs up a few steps. EDGE: Gangrel old buddy, look this guy in the ring, he’s your Wrestlemania opponent! Don’t help him, help me! STYLES: Is Edge trying to cut a deal with Gangrel? GANGREL: Yes he is my Wrestlemania opponent… He points behind Edge. GANGREL: And he’s yours! Edge turns and sees Thorn is right behind him! He jumps up on the apron where Giant grabs him by the head and throws him into the ring the hard way! Edge rolls to the ropes on the far side of the ring and finds himself staring into the fanged face of the newcomer. Edge pulls back a bit and says, “Stay away from me!” He turns right into a back kick to the jaw from the Giant! Giant goes for the pin. 1…………………..2…………………shoulder up. Giant grabs Edge by the throat, jerks him to his feet, then goes for the chokeslam, but Edge counters into a big time DDT! 1……………………….2……………………… Show gets the shoulder up! STYLES: What a great counter by Edge! JBL: Don’t ever underestimate the Rated R Superstar. Edge stomps away at Giant, jumps on the second rope and hits an elbow smash. 1………….2…………….Giant throws him off. Edge bulldogs Giant as he gets to his knees. 1……………….2………..kickout. As Giant gets up, a spinning heel kick knocks him back down! 1……………………..2……………… Kickout. Edge pounds on the kneeling Giant but a single punch to the gut has him doubled over in pain. Giant headbutts Edge, then goes for a slam but Edge slips down the back and hits the Edge-O-Matic! 1……………………………..2……………………….. Shoulder up! JBL: Make no mistakes, Edge can beat anyone on any given night! Kevin Thorn is seeing that first hand! Edge measures Giant for the spear. He goes for it but runs into a knee to the head! Edge falls to his knees and Giant applies a Cobra Clutch! STYLES: This could be it! Edge is reaching desperately with his foot for the rope. Surprisingly the new vampire pushes the rope forward so Edge can reach it! JBL: What? That new vampire just gave Edge a break? STYLES: Maybe they want to prolong Edge’s suffering…maybe Ariel does have an attraction to Edge and gave this guy his orders…or maybe they are acting against the Giant who has said he will destroy Gangrel at Wrestlemania! Thorn doesn’t seem to react at all to what just happened and Gangrel smiles while Giant protests to the ref. Edge rolls out to the floor for a breather…but Kevin walks over and throws him back in the ring while the new vampire just stands and watches. Edge turns to argue with Thorn, and Giant grabs him from behind, bends him backwards and hits a Stepover Legdrop. 1……………………………….2……………………… Kickout. STYLES: I’m not sure what exactly the Bloodline is up to here…maybe they just want to keep the match clean and in the ring. JBL: Yeah and maybe I’ll give my fortune away to charity! Giant tries to set up for another Cobra Clutch, but Edge reaches up and digs his finger into his bad eye, then drops down to hit a jawbreaker. Gangrel raises on hand and gestures for someone to come out. Seconds later Amanda and Christine walk to the ring along with a third, blonde, woman. JBL: What the hell is going on? Whose that blonde hottie with Gangrel’s girls? Thorn seems to ignore the women and focuses on watching the match. The new girl puts an arm around Gangrel’s shoulders and shows some implanted fangs. All three of the women with Gangrel smile devilishly at Edge who pauses and seems a bit unnerved. Giant is up and connects with a blow to the body! Edge screams in pain and falls to his knees gasping for air. STYLES: All of these vampires are distracting Edge and I can’t blame the Rated R Superstar. This must be the surprise Gangrel and Kevin Thorn were referring to this week! Giant picks Edge up but the Rated R Superstar rakes the eyes and then hits a dropkick that staggers the big man. JBL: Give Edge some credit, even after the distraction and that vicious punch to the body he is still fighting! Another dropkick staggers the Giant some more. Edge goes for a third dropkick but Giant catches his legs, then catapults him clear over the ropes to ringside! Gangrel gives an impressed laugh and points as if to ask his females, “Did you see that?” STYLES: OH MY GOD! JBL: Yes? Thorn glances at Gangrel who gets on the apron. Giant turns and exchanges words with his Wrestlemania opponent. Thorn goes to put Edge back in the ring but Edge shoves him away. “Back off fang face!” Thorn picks Edge up, rams his spine into the post and throws him in the ring! JBL: Damn Kevin Thorn! STYLES: Edge has done a lot to provoke him, what do you expect from a walking tower of angry? Edge writhes in pain holding his back. Giant didn’t see what Thorn did and grabs Edge by the throat. Edge grabs the ropes desperately and the new vampire gets on the apron. When the ref tries to get him down, Gangrel jumps up on the apron and spits blood right in the Giant’s eyes! JBL: What the heck is going on here!? STYLES: Thorn and Gangrel said both Edge and the Giant were in for a surprise! Remember all the derogatory things Edge has said about Kevin Thorn, and don’t forget Giant’s claim he would destroy Gangrel! I think maybe the Bloodline have decided to just go on the offensive here! JBL: I think you’re right and I don’t think Edge was the only target they had in mind when Thorn made this choice. Giant is swinging huge punches but can’t see and Edge is hanging back watching with a surprised smile on his face. JBL: Edge may have just been handed a golden opportunity to beat the Giant here, but will he seize it and risk offending the World’s Largest Athlete? Edge spears the Giant! As he goes for the pin, Thorn pulls him out of the ring while Gangrel and the new male vampire get in the ring. Thorn rams Edge into the steps while Gangrel and his protégé begin to drop corkscrew elbows on the Giant! STYLES: The referee has no idea what to do! Randy Orton runs out and hits Thorn from behind, then rams him into the barricade. JBL: Payback is a you know what! Thorn should have known Randy Orton wouldn’t take what happened earlier lying down! Thorn fights back on Orton but Edge joins in and they begin to double team the champion. They whip him into the post. Orton then turns on Edge, connecting with a right hand to the skull and whipping the Rated R Superstar into the steps! STYLES: We are getting a preview of the triple threat match now! Orton rolls Thorn into the ring and follows. JBL: Randy are you nuts? The other two vampires are in there! Giant is trying to get up using the ropes but Gangrel is laying in sickening kicks to the ribs while the newcomer is choking Giant on the ropes. Thorn meanwhile fights back on Orton with a series of big right hands. Ariel comes out next… STYLES: There are vampires everywhere! Ariel walks over to Edge and bends down to help him up! JBL: What? As Edge gets to his knees he finds himself with a great view of two of her better assets. Ariel seems to be encouraging Edge to get up and keep fighting. He looks at her in confusion and glances into the ring where Thorn is now pounding Orton on the ropes. Ariel leans forward and licks Edge’s lips! STYLES: What the hell is going on? JBL: What’s going on is Edge just got a much more pleasing variation of a Dark Kiss! Edge turns to get in the ring, still unsure of what’s going on, and Ariel gives him a slap across the backside. JBL: If that doesn’t fire Edge up all of his very public affairs have been over compensation to cover up some latent homosexuality! Edge slides in and attacks Thorn from behind! He pounds on the champion and Ariel is watching intently but not with the same concern she would usually show for Thorn. STYLES: I’m stunned by what we’re seeing here… Thorn starts to fight back and exchanges punches with Edge but Orton knees Thorn in the back. Orton now pounds down on Thorn while Edge backs off. He crouches down in a spear position and Ariel leans down at ringside, watching with excitement…Orton is rocking Thorn with European uppercuts… Edge goes for the Spear and Thorn pulls Orton in the way! JBL: Orton gets the spear! Not that I think Edge cares which one he takes out! Edge pivots quickly and gets caught with a reverse elbow from Thorn. Ariel lets out a gasp. STYLES: Edge is lucky he wasn’t coming off the ropes with a lot of momentum there! But the big story is Ariel! Thorn grabs Edge and sets his feet on the ropes… JBL: Edge is going to get a different kind of Dark Kiss now and he won’t like it nearly as much as he liked that kiss from Ariel… Suddenly Helms runs down, jumps onto the apron and pulls Edge to safety…somewhat that is because as Helms pulls him back off Thorn’s shoulder, Edge plummets to the floor! STYLES: Helms saved Edge again…sort of. Thorn takes a furious swing at Helms, who jumps off the apron. Edge scrambles backwards up the aisle trying to figure out what’s going on. Helms gestures “You were this close to being finished off”. Edge glances at Ariel who licks her lips and winks at him. Giant is up and swinging blind punches to ward off the assault but Gangrel kicks him in the knee and hooks his head. STYLES: I don’t think he can do the Implant DDT…not against a man of this size. Gangrel and the new vampire execute a double DDT while Thorn is glaring at both Edge, who is almost all the way up the aisle, and Ariel who is still at ringside! JBL: The Bloodline obviously had a plan but I think some things are not going Thorn’s way if you catch my meaning. Gangrel taps Thorn on the shoulder to get his attention, points at the Giant and says something. Thorn nods and all of the vampires (Ariel included) get in the ring. STYLES: What the heck is going on now? The lights are dimmed and strange chanting and slurping sounds are heard. JBL: No not this! I’ve hated this ever since Gangrel and the Brood started doing it a decade ago! I bet Edge knew exactly what was coming because he has helped carry out dozens of these! When the lights come back the Giant has been doused in blood from head to toe. Thorn steps out of the ring and then goes up the aisle after Edge while Ariel runs after him… The other vampires remain around ringside with fanged smiles on their faces while the Giant gets up, looks down at himself drenched in blood and quivers with rage… STYLES: This has been a wild Saturday Night with tons of Wrestlemania implications… JBL: All hell is going to break loose in Houston, Styles, and I cannot wait to see it!