How to be on TV in Just a Few Easy Steps

I have thought about this for awhile now, and I think that being on TV is within anyone's reach, I just takes a few small tasks that will put you to the top [of a shitty mtv reality show] in no time. There are several ways you can approach this goal of yours (and I know it is): 1. The Paris Hilton approach, have rich parents, but more importantly, make a sex video of yourself and some random dude and put it all over the internet.  Anyone can do that, before you know it you will be a hit and will soon be starring in classic horror movies like "House of Wax".  It will be great, don't worry about all the respect you have lost in the process, but just enjoy the benefits. 2.  The mtv Real World/Road Rules approach, all you need for this one is three things: you need to look halfway decent when your half naked (and you will be), don't be athletic, and most importantly make sure you are a complete dumbass.  This one is the best because not only will you be on TV, but you will be able to make a complete fool out of yourself once a week, wheather it is doing a shitty and very easy objective, getting in a fight with one of your "teammates", or being voted off the damn show (but don't worry you'll be called back to do the next season).

Dumbass

3.  The rich dumbass with a shitty single that gets a lot of radio play approach, the first thing you need to do for this one is write a shitty song that you know everyone will love, it will get plenty of radio play, many people will buy the album because of the one song, and meanwhile you will be on your damn show kicking ass.  Oh, and make sure to sue a lot of people for downloading your beloved song.  Then you have to establish what your going to do on your show, or if you have seen any of the shows most of the dumbasses love on mtv lately, then you don't; because they just show them walking around doing ramdom shit and then making out with whoever their married to.  But, who doesn't want to watch that?  That is a good example of quality TV, music TV that is.  Or you could do my favorite, get lots of footage of you watching TV on your show, because who doesn't want to watch you watching TV?  Definately quality entertainment.  I'll provide some examples of some shows, so if your having trouble getting started, you can watch these as a reference.

Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica Seen here with two shit eating grins

<---Dumbasses

This is a good example of the shitty single with lots of radio play.  They also can give you many ideas on shitty things to film for your show.

There is also Britney and Kevin: Chaotic.  You can probably get a good idea on how to be dumbass from this show, and also how to get a highly watched TV show.  The main idea of this show is to walk around pregnant and makeout with whoever your married to.  It works good because many people look up you, and who doesn't want watch some half naked pregnant woman walk around and do random shit?