Anger
Your shadow by me constantly,
is the haze behind my eyes,
the power in your words,
is the strength beneath my fist,
the way you never treat me,
opens the door in my mind,
the emotional abuse I suffer,
the built up anger in my life.
Confused
confused yet utterly happy
repremanding playfullness
the sound of tears falling
hit the ground and scream
calmed emtotions of love
forgetfulness of thoughts
so often efaced the eyes
pictures of our memories
blocked by the present
Sun
The sun will show its face
sometime during the hurt
the stars fall from the sky
as the tears reach the eye
forgetting everything said
you’ll sit alone in the dark
wishing he were there too
but love just wasn’t there
Lost my way
I’ve lost the way that i should go
how do i get out of this romance
so soon begun by that warm kiss
I’m lost in this wonderful feeliing
and i know it cannot be the right
I need help to get back to my world
right back to the depression i know
i won’t sit through the happiness
something is not rightfully mine
Never
i left the smile to you,
while i sat and cried,
in the comfort of “us”,
i felt safe to show you,
you saw my depression,
and then pushed away,
i vowed to never let go,
now i’m stuck in misery,
i sit as life passes me by,
the things i love move on,
how can i forget my oath,
promise to never let go.
Crowded Aura
This crowded aura encircles my body,
I feel like my brain is caving in,
The dilemmas that everyone else has,
Are instantaneously my responsibility to govern,
The stress has been extremely irritating,
I'm not as stable as they assume that I am,
I put up a front of good acting and conceal,
The realization that I cannot take care of it all,
And it's about to push me over the edge,
I think I need to take some time to myself,
To get my life back to the way it use to be,
To recover from my own perplex problems,
So I'll ask them to take glance at themselves,
And find the solution to their own enigmas.
end my life
If today I decided to end my life,
stab through the heart with a knife,
Then you would get the best of me,
but maybe that's the way I want it to be,
So if you don't see me tomorrow,
then I've decided to end all my sorrow,
It's all because you called me a whore,
So soon I will lie dead on the floor,
To my friends I'm sorry for being weak,
I'm sorry if I make your eyes start to leak.
Bruised being
Bruised being
aching heart
the depths of silence
all falls apart
removed rumors
spreading thoughts
weighing me down
holding me still
forceful abuse
terrible shaking
pushing me threw
stopping the good
tremendous fear
echoing glares
catching the tears
framework collapsing
crushed morals
indecisive conclusions
dragging me under
grabbing my throat
elaborate explanations
thoughtless memories
hitting my heart
ripping the aura
bickering brawls
horrifying hatred
words of confidence
broken bewilderment
magnificent sorrow
truthful lies
writing themselves
yet hiding inside
FIRE
Watching waves of water and fire,
floating here as it moves me higher,
here in this hell no longer pretending,
my aching heart needs Gods mending,
I was hurt by the one that I believed,
the promise he made I had perceived,
I wanted to trust him but knew I should not,
dropped here in this hell I'll soon be forgot.
You don’t see
i wish i could show you
the mangled torn girl
the girl that's inside me
i keep it all in my head
you’ve never tried once to see
just because i have material things
doesn’t mean i have what i need
this feeling is killing me
and i don’t care about anything
all i wanna do is run away
i don’t even try anymore
you’ve never tried once to see
just because i have material things
doesn’t mean i have what i need
a trip to medication city
i don’t smile as much now
my soul starts to disappear
and i drown in the tears
Forgotten
You have forgotten all the things I’ve said
forgot them you just let them flow outta your head
Forgot every kiss, every embrace, and fight
Forgot that I dreamt about you in the night
you’re a constant reminder that my life has gone wrong
but forgetting what happened won’t make me grow strong
Although I’m not happy I don’t know what else to do
all I have left are memories of pictures of you
I can’t just forget the things I have felt
the friendship, the fun times, all the stuff I was dealt
I would take it all back if I could with one wish
I’m crying over you and that’s O so foolish
And I know you asked if I could stop doing this
so I’ll tell you this poem is the last one, that I promise.
Regret
This one thing I never want you to forget,
Is that in my life I've only got one regret,
I wish that I could've been worth your while,
Everything about you just makes me smile,
Sadly I still cry constantly in the night,
I wish you could be there to say it's alright,
I know that right now our hearts are broken,
But before today these words went unspoken,
If we worked together our hearts might mend,
Unfinished
How many times can you tell me
that you can't go on without me
How many times will you reassure
that you won't hurt me anymore
Why don't you think I believe you
I told you it's hard but I trust you
R.B.
Your beautiful being has inspired me,
I want to be the best person i can be,
I can’t help but smile at every word you say,
I thank God for you friendship each day,
If I could bring back some stars from the skies,
they'd never compare to the depth in your eyes,
You make my soul light up with happiness,
It all makes me think you're completely selfless,
I'm glad we have fun when we’re with each other,
I hope we will always value one another.
Take back
consciously awake through the pain
as the horror fills my eyes
i walk away from you again
crying at night all by myself
why do i put us through this
a glass of hope shatters in my hand
my thoughts have forgotten themselves
and I'm left alone again
at the point of an endless hell
i can’t seem to escape the souls
an eerie emptiness hides in my head
the strength to let go is out of my reach
how do you take back your mistakes
stand on the stage and perform it
release the energy from your heart
and grab a hold of my hand
Surreal World
(written about a picture i drew)
I feel trapped in this parallel universe,
almost like a surreal world,
the only thing I see are hills,
hills filled with checkers and clouds,
hills with leopard ponds,
all I can see in the sky is a diamond,
hour after hour everyday,
“Lucy in the sky with diamonds” is played,
I just keep walking around, lonely,
like “Alice in Wonderland” I am alone,
It’s dark all of the time,
accept for the diamond,
the depression is endless,
for all I know this could be the end,
maybe even the underworld,
waiting for the day,
that I fall into a black hole,
that leads to hell.
Looking back
sometimes i look back
and i miss the old days
life used to be so easy
i met you and changed
everything that i lived for
you changed it for the worst
you changed it for the best
You made me think that all this
is something i’ll soon regret
maybe i will soon forget
I used to live life my way
I lived from day to day
worried about nothing big
now it’s so complicated
how do i think by myself
you changed it for the worst
you changed it for the best
you made me think that all this
is something that i’ll remember
i won’t be able to dismember
nothing is to be clear
that’s something i fear
always haunting my life
but you make me smile
I need to hide in my minds