I had already expected the sequel to The Ring to suck big, but Dragons? Three years in the making and I spotted every major flaw in it according to countless RPG and history books!
Dragons: A Fantasy Made Real is a new documentary on Animal Planet incorporating the “what if” scenario to real life. If a dragon corpse had been preserved and actually found, how would it have functioned? How did it incorporate all the aspects of Aztec/Inuit/Japanese/Chinese/French history into one beast? The lifetime, reproduction, evolution, etc. of the draco draconis, and how anatomy and instinct allowed it to work.
Mistakes: First, a true dragon’s forearms have nothing to do with its wings. You only needed to rename it “Wyverns: A History Made Real” and I wouldn’t need to bash on this thing at all. Dragons do not live 40 years, they live 4,000-8,000. They are incredibly diverse in sizes, abilities, environments, life expectancies, and strengths. And one last thing: what the f*ck does platinum have to do with fire? Can’t you just accept for once that dragons are purely magical entities, they could NEVER exist in the real world, you’re wrong, you’re all so very horribly wrong, and that they can turn into humans, grant you half-dragon children, and as soon as they find their true forms they are going to hunt you down and eat you?!!!?!
How to Improve This Film: Rename it “Wyverns.”
The Ring 2 was a total stinker I went to see with my friends for the sake of getting out of the house. The Ring sucked, The Ring 2 sucked, and if anyone says otherwise than either they’re lying or they are on some heavy mind-altering drugs.
Mistakes: The movie was made.
How to Improve This Film: You can’t. End of story. It's worse than William Hung's fan page. Worse than the second season of "Big Brother." Worse than how badly Michael Jackson is due for the arrival of the karma train. Choo-choo!