Graduation Speech, Parker Training Academy - 12/99

NYS OCFS Graduation Speech 12/99 When I first started working for the Office of Children and Family Services in April of 1998, I ran in to an old friend who asked me where I was working these days. I told him I was a YDA at Tryon in Johnstown. He looked at me with a confused expression and asked me what the heck a YDA is and what kind of company Tryon is. I told him that YDA stands for "Youth Division Aid" and Tryon is a residential center. His eyebrow raised and he asked me in a frustrated tone, "What do you do?" I thought for a few seconds and said, "I'm a guard in a reform school." That seemed like the right answer at the time, but the longer I worked there, the more I realized that Tryon is not simply a reform school and being a YDA is so much more than being a guard. Yes, we do guard the youths in our facility and yes, we do our best to reform and educate them, but those are the simplest definitions for what we do. Perhaps reforming assumes that these children were ever truely formed to begin with. We have the opportunity and the responsibility to be a positive influence in the lives of impressionable teenagers who, for the most part, have lacked positive role models throughout their lives. We are mentors who help guide these young people through the final stages of adolescence before their age makes them legally adults, but are still children on the inside. Why should we do this for kids who break the law and break the rules time and time again? I'm reminded of a video we watched in class called "Eye Of The Storm" about a third grade class room of blue eyed children and brown eyed children. Not only did Miss Elliot teach those children a valuable lesson on prejudice, but she showed how easily young people can be influenced and persuaded by adults in a position to teach them. She demonstrated that it was possible to change overnight the students ability to learn based on what they were told about their ability to learn and how they were treated by the other students after they were told half of them were better than the others. As YDA's we need to take that lesson to heart and give these kids a sense of self worth, but not at the expense of their peers. Equality and consistency will create an environment that will allow us to use the opportunity we have been given to plant the seed of self esteem. With that, when they leave OCFS to return home, they will not feel the need to rejoin or become part of gangs who make them feel safe and important. They will already have the self confidence inside themselves to survive and a real chance to flourish on their own when they venture out into the world. To do that, we must do our best to share and instill in them our "Valient Vision". As a class, we have had our differences and obstacles to overcome. Some of us have had family tragedies to contend with, and through it all we've managed to show support for each other and learn a few lessons about respecting each others space and needs. We are fortunate that we had a great group of trainers who have been helpful in our hard times, stern, yet fair during our transgressions and excellent in their ability to teach us what we need to know to do our jobs effectively. They are a diverse group with a vast amount of knowledge and experiences, interwoven with a sense of humor unique to each, which has been very helpful in breathing life into the dry reading of policies and procedures. We want to thank them with a round of applause for all they have done to bring us to this final day here at Parker Training Academy. Also thanks to our illustrious director Greg, whose patience we have tested, but who has been fair, accommodating and yes, even humorous on occasion. If he decides to retire anytime in the near future, I understand Roger Ebert has been inviting guest movie reviewers for the past several months and I'd be happy to pass along a letter of recommendation, if he needs one. (After one of our instructors interupted class and took us to the ice cream store, I couldn't help but think he had an alterior motive. The entire trip there and back, even after eating the ice cream, I suspected something was up. I was sure it was a lesson about a resident trying to get over or something even worse. Sigmund Freud might say, "Sometimes a trip to the ice cream store, is just a trip to the ice cream store." As it turned out, it was just a hot day and he felt like taking us to get ice cream. Perhaps the real lesson is that you must be able to trust those you work with to not only watch your back, but have your back. Perhaps our instructor sensed some stress or fatigue in our group and decided it would be better to get out of the class and take a break than continue to fill our heads with too much information. That's another sign of an excellent trainer. So now that we have reached the end of our basic training and are setting out with Valient Vision to accomplish the mission of the Office of Children and Family Services, I have one last question to ask Class V V, "Geeesh, Who Started Thisss?" JFJ
12/99 The speech above was written by me for our class graduation from Parker Traning Academy in December of 1999. The facility I work at is called Tryon, which is a part of the NYS OCFS and is one of several facilities across New York State for Teenagers who have commited crimes but are too young to be sent to adult jails and prisons. I was selected by my classmates to write and deliver the speech for our class. Each class gets a designation and ours was V V. We were asked as a matter of tradition to decide on a name that would go with the letters V V. We chose Valient Vision as our class name and while there are not a whole lot of choices of words that start with V, we managed to find the right combination wich helped to inspire me while writing this speech. There is not a word of this speech that I do not believe in my heart. The program we have is designed to teach our residents right from wrong, although it is not a perfect system, it does try. It often seems to fail, with a recidivism rate of around 90%. My personal feeling is that it is so high because we do not work to raise their self-esteem. I have said many times in my life and on this website, "Self-esteem is everything" and I believe it absolutely. STOP THE HATE				wz0zzz@yahoo.com More about Pride, Prejudice, Self Esteem and Family coming soon.   The Boyz At Tryon I think if I show them the goodness in my heart They might feel that they can make a brand new start The other staff there tell me no They say it's a mistake to let it show You cannot let yourself be fooled Your feelings must be overruled Because you care you show them kindness But they only see it as a weekness Well the boyz at Tryon, they don't think so I don't believe they've ever had the chance to truely know When they had no real life at home When hate walks every street they roam When pops leaves moms to raise their son When it's dinner time but in the cupboards there is none When the kids begin to cry she knows the answer all too well When there's only one thing she has left that she can sell When they're asleep I wish I could see all of their dreams Are they really that bad or is it just the way it seems Is there hope in their minds to find a better way? Is there love in their hearts or is it just a word to say? Is there a future for them when they leave the gate? Is there anyone who can save them from their fate? Is there a ship of broken dreams just waiting to set sail? Is it true their boat is on a course that only leads to jail? Well the boyz at Tryon, they don't think so They want to leave, they want to find a better place to go I hope they find a better way of life I hope they learn how to truely love a wife I hope they grow into who they potentially can be I hope they understand that pride is not they key I hope they overcome the hatred standing in their way I hope they know the future doesn't end today   To Care Or Not To Care There are YDA's where I work who do not feel the same and who in fact could care less for the residents we are responsible for. I think that when you say you don't care, you become part of the continuing problem. When you don't care, you give away part of your humanity. You don't see bears in the woods caring about the people they want to eat who stumble across their path when they are hungry. But then they are not human and are not expected to have humanity. If you don't care, you open up your heart to hatred, you become infected with prejudice and you may as well get the hell off my planet. Mars is a nice cold planet where cold hearted people can go live and kill each other for food when they are hungry and another cold hearted person stumbles across their path. STOP THE HATE http://www.stopthehate.net/       Self Esteem Is Everything Every day I'm reminded of the video we watched in our academy training. The children in Mrs Elliot's class were able to score higher than normal on exams when they were told that they were better than other children. But when they were told they were less intelligent and not as good as the other children, they scored lower than normal. This is the greatest lesson in self-esteem that could be taught to adults who are in charge of trying to change the level of learning ability in children. Build a childs self-esteem and the child will learn more and achieve more than otherwise possible. We have teenagers who are more set in their ways, but still young enough and imprssionable enough to be molded into productive people rather than lifetime crimminals. The trick is to build their self-esteem without it being at another childs expense. Mrs Elliot showed that it can be done by turning the tide on the kids and showing them what it is like to be on both sides of the coin. In that very same moment, they learned an invaluable lesson on prejudice. To see how it feels to be treated as a lesser human, even for just one day, taught those children that is is wrong to take their pride in themselves to the level of superiority and hatred. I remember as a child of five when Martin Luther King was assassinated the very same news reports she was talking about. It brought back a lot of forgotten memories about my childhood. I remember wondering why someone would be killed because of the color of his skin. I wonder why everyone can't wonder the same and come to the realization that it is because of their pride and prejudice.   Other pages on my web site   My favorite URLs & friends' home pages   Pride and Prejudice - Poems about Pride & Prejusice The Family Way - Poems about Family Chapter 2 - Walls & Bridges, Ro-Ro Rows Her Boat - Main Poetry Page Index of all pages on my site in Chapters 1 & 2 - Main Index Page Save A Starving Poet - Donate to a Poet in need Stop The Hate - If you Believe Save A Starving Poet - Donate to a Poet in need

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