Cigarette Karma: - 88%
On the walk to the theatre, the three of us talked about many topics. Our conversation didn’t include, in any way, the weather, religion, our families, or the government. We were too young for such uninteresting topics. Or just too apathetic. We did speak about music, computer games, television, and comedy.
During the movie, our talking was left to a bare minimum. I would occasionally mention how cool it was that one of the characters could set himself on fire at will. My buddy Patrick would point out the overall attractiveness of Jessica Alba. Justin said nothing the whole movie, aside from once asking me to go buy him some popcorn with his own money.
Afterwards, the three of us gathered in a circle in front of the theatre. “That was an awesome movie,” I announced.
“It was all right. But that Invisible Girl, oh yeah,” Patrick said, suggestively.
“I would love to be able to set myself on fire. Well, not literally. But the way that Torch could do it.”
“There’s some kind of a joke about Invisible girl, Wonder Woman, and Superman, but I can’t remember it. But it’s funny!”
“I don’t know about you guys, but I feel like a smoke. Either of you want a hand-rolled one?” I offer to them.
“No. I got a fresh back of Benson & Hedges to crack open.”
“Nope.”
“You got a lighter?” asked Patrick.
“Yea, here. Did I ever tell you guys about my friend in Peterborough? The guy who could roll up Drum so fast, he’d have five done by the time I’d get one out?”
“You told us all ready, Jimmy. The basketball slash soccer player, who is a weight-trainer by day and a sprinter by night. Yet, he can balance out smoking, drinking, quite evenly with schoolwork, and video games. He is the hitch-hiking pro, the snowboarding master, and the all-round good guy.”
“So you’ve heard of him then?”
“Just a little bit,” said Patrick.
“Excuse me sir, but do you have an extra smoke I could have?” asked a stranger.
“This is actually my last one,” Patrick replies. “I just tossed the box into the garbage.”
“No you didn’t. I was watching a second ago, when you pulled out a full pack.”
“You are mistaken.”
“If you don’t want to share, that’s your prerogative, fine, but there’s no need to lie.”
“Fine. I just don’t want to give you one.”
I look from Justin, who has been remarkably silent all day, to Patrick, who is at least a foot taller than this older man, who just wants a smoke. “Don’t worry, buddy. I’ll roll you up one.”
“That’s very kind of you.”
“What were we talking about?” Patrick asks.
“You ever hear about Oedipus Rex?”
“The guy who murders the father and then fornicates with the mother?”
“That’s the one. There’s a television show with that plot going on right now. The guy’s named Connor. Only, she’s not really his mom, just the closest thing Connor’s ever had to a mom. She used to change his diapers, but he was sent through a time-warp or something, so now he’s a teenager. The dad’s a vampire, but the ‘mom’ and the son are half-demons, so she gets pregnant with a demon, and the rate of growth is accelerated. Here’s your smoke buddy.”
“Thank you very much.” The stranger walks off.
“I hate pricks like that, who think that they deserve my smokes,” whispers Patrick to me. “I paid for them, why should I share them?”
“Why not?” I ask. “Karma is a two-way street. If you don’t want bad things to happen to you, you’d do best to try and please the God of Karma.”
“If you say so. Let’s start walking home; it’s going to take a good hour with all three of us. You coming Justin?”
“Justin?” Both Patrick and I turn around, to realize Justin is gone. “He was just here a second ago, when that guy came up to us! What the hell?”
“Hey. Where’d that old fart go?” Patrick asks me. We both look around in vain. Both our friend and the stranger are nowhere to be seen. Justin’s cigarette, only half done, is lying on the ground, still smoking.
“Where did Justin go?”
?..sdrawkcab epyt reve ydobyna t'nseod yhw, uoy ksa i