THE TRUTH
Vol. 1 Issue 12
March 9, 2000
MUSINGS FROM THE EDITOR’S DESKTOP
Well, the first week without the X-Files is over…just a few more to go…At least we get to see the new series, The Lone Gunmen, every Sunday instead of some other cheesy mid-season replacement. My good buddy, Melvin, and the boys seem to be intruding on a different conspiracy which has me wondering how many conspiracies are there in the X-Files world between this show, The X-Files and Millenium. Harsh Realm had a conspiracy of its own, too, but there seemed to be no connection to The X-Files besides hearing Agent Scully introducing the game to Hobbes.(Was that his name?) So if you take all these different conspiracies into account, you see that Government is pure evil. There is not one respectable faction of it, (well, besides a certain basement office), and we really cannot trust ANYONE! One branch of it is cooperating with aliens(or at least was) to bring humans into slavery, while another branch is trying to bring about the end of the world in a biblical sense(or at least was), while the army trains military men to go into a virtual world overrun by a Nazi-like dictatorship, while the Department of Defense is just plain up to no good at all, promoting terrorism for arms money. Is it just me or is Chris Carter signaling for ANARCHY!! What a true surfer dude! Gotta love him! Lol Ok, I’ll shut up.
IN THIS ISSUE:
IMPORTANT ANNONUNCEMENT
NEWS
LGM REVIEW- "PILOT"
CLASSIC X-FILES- "THE HOST"
SHIPPER’S CORNER
MESSAGE FROM DDGA4EVA
PAPER SAINTS 6/15
IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT
By the editor (xanderfrohike@yahoo.com)
This hasn’t been confirmed yet, but there are reports that I’m reading that Fox may have released imformation about the renewal of The X-Files next season. I have gone to Fox.com and checked out their press releases. Nothing has been mentioned in there, so it might not be true. I just wanted to keep you all informed. Ok…brace yourself. The X-Files is, yes, renewed for Season 9. (sigh) But David Duchovny will not be coming back…. (moment of silence)........I will find out more for you next week. I’m very sorry to have to break that story.
NEWS
By the editor (xanderfrohike@yahoo.com)
RATINGS FOR LGM AND TINH
Fox's "X-Files" spinoff "The Lone Gunmen" hit its target audience on Sunday, while ABC again struck ratings gold with the latest "Oprah Winfrey Presents" telepic on a lazy March evening that seemed more like a sweeps night.
Fox got encouraging numbers for the first episode of Chris Carter's "Lone Gunmen," which won its hour in key demos and placed second in total viewers to ABC's Elisabeth Shue starrer "Amy & Isabelle,"
"Lone Gunmen" won its 9 p.m. hour in adults 18-49 (prelim 6.5/14), adults 18-34 (6.8/16) and all male demos while placing second in total viewers (13 million). It dipped slightly in its second half-hour, but held up well considering the tough competition.
Its 18-49 rating is well below what "The X-Files" averaged in February with David Duchovny-juiced episodes (8.4/18), but about on par with recent "X-Files" episodes that haven't featured the series co-star.
OFFICIAL MAGAZINE HITS THE STANDS
The Spring 2001 edition of The X-Files Official Magazine (US$5.95) will be soon be available on newsstands. You may also obtain a copy via membership to the X-Files Fan Club; in fact, subscribers should have already received their latest issue. The quarterly glossy is produced by Fandom Inc., the same group that produces Cinescape Magazine.
What’s inside:
Fan Scene - X-Philes applaud Robert Patrick's hard work and success as Special Agent John Doggett.
Connection - Annabeth Gish joins The X-Files' cast as Special Agent Monica Reyes.
Guest Gallery - Joe Morton ("Redrum") and Ricky Jay ["The Amazing Maleeni"] discuss the challenges and rewards of guest starring on The X-Files.
The Write Stuff - Executive story editor Greg Walker reveals the inspirations for his spooky stand-alones "Brand X" and "Surekill."
Spies Like Us - The stars of The X-Files' first spinoff tell fans what they can expect from the hilarious mid-season series, The Lone Gunmen.
The Vault - Check out the latest additions to our exclusive line of official X-Files merchandise.
Risky Business - Chris Carter, Frank Spotnitz, and Kim Manners team up to bring Mulder back in the exciting new mythology chapter, "This Is Not Happening"
Trivial Pursuit - The X-Files' writers look to researcher Katrina Cabrera Ortega to keep the science in science fiction.
Dana's Digs - Take a tour of Dana Scully's abode and find out the set decorating secrets behind her interior design.
The Local Haunt - The owners of Chicago's The Red Lion pub suspect some of their patrons may not be among the living.
Mind's Eye - Extrasensory perception experts defend the validity of psychic phenomena.
REVIEW: THE LONE GUNMEN
Written By: ClasicaLeo
Hi! Okay this is my once in a lifetime bio of myself before you get into my column. My screen name is ClasicaLeo, but please call me Leo. I have been playing around on the net for about 8 years, and watching X-files from the start. I am a self-admitted oldbie, preferring the old episodes usually to
the new ones, and missing my Mulder greatly. I once upon a time ran a not so little online newsletter called The X-Paper. When I closed down that paper after over 4 years I helped one of my old writers start his own
newsletter. Then finding that I still wanted to write I begged him to let me have a column and here I am.(Editor's Note: More like I begged her! She is great, everyone!Enjoy this column!)
I would really enjoy your comments on my column. As it has been awhile since I have been writing please be gentle, hs8@tidepool.com.
I love the Lone Gunmen (hereafter referred to as the LGM.) They are some of my favorite characters of the X-Files. Being and X-Phile who tends to like the humor eps more than the shippy or myth arc ones it makes
perfect sense. And while I haven't had a whole lot of interest in the x-files since there is no Mulder, I have been anxiously waiting for the premier of the LGM show. However, after what I witnessed on Sunday night, I would've gladly waited until fall if they'd redone the entire script. Basically I think they tried too hard. What endeared me to the Lone Gunman was that they were goofballs. I loved their antics in the X-files. It seems though they were trying to remake, or deepened the characters that were created in the X-files. Why couldn't they have created episodes like "The Unusual Suspects" with its zany humor, and great acting?
Quite frankly the script was so corny it was painful to watch. I love Mark Snow's music in general; but please get rid of that stupid guitar stuff, it just doesn't match. I understand that this show isn't X-Files, but I
would like it to follow in the grand tradition of The X-files. Plus it would've been nice to have at least one Frohike-likes-Scully joke, or some tip of the hat towards their parent show.
There is a great deal of potential and hopefully the writers, actors and producers will all be able to find their groove and settle. I of course look back on the old X-files episode, especially the Pilot, and can tell that GA
and DD are just speaking the lines, and that whole scene in the hotel where Mulder talks about his sister's abduction is beyond corny. But then I look at the show 5 episodes later and everything and everyone has fallen into place. Maybe my hopes were too high considering it was the same staff more or less making a show out of a few independent stand-alone eps in X-files. There is only one way to discover how this new experiment of Chris Carters' will turn out, to watch it!
CLASSIC X-FILES
By Sheila Sweeney (shipper_gurl_dana@hotmail.com)
When Fox Mulder is sent to investigate a body that has been found floating in the sewers of Newark, he is insulted by the ordinary nature of the case. But when several more sewer workers are attacked by a vicious sludge-dwelling monster, Mulder believes that something more sinister is at work.
He and Scully(who he is not supposed to have any contact with) soon find themselves on the slimy trail of a creature that is as disgusting as it is dangerous. Half-man half-parasite, it has been attacking humans...and leaving behind its larve to feed on their flesh. Mulder and Scully get clues here and there and soon until they finally catch up with it. When it is being transported, it escapes and goes back to it sewage-filled home. The Agents track it down and they think they kill it, but down in the depths it is still lurking, looking for a new host.
This is one of the best episodes of The X-Files because of the work that is put into it, and it is a breakthrough for Relationshippers everywhere. And to all of you who might not have caught it, in my last Review i made a BIG mistake! I put the boys were called Eve and the girls were called Adam Did any of you catch that? OOPS!
SHIPPER'S CORNER
"REQUIEM" http://www.insidethex.co.uk/transcrp/scrp722.htm
(MULDER's motel room. The room is very similar to that which he stayed in in the Pilot episode. Guess they rebuilt after the fire. He is lying on his bed looking at the files that TERESA HOESE gave them. Pictures of DEPUTY RAY HOESE, close-ups of the bruises on his wrists and elsewhere that he received during his multiple abductions. He looks up at a knock on his door.)
MULDER: Who is it?
SCULLY: (outside) It's me.
(MULDER opens the door. SCULLY, still dressed in a white blouse and slacks, stands in the doorway. MULDER is concerned.)
MULDER: What's wrong, Scully? You look sick.
SCULLY: I don't know what's wrong.
MULDER: Come in.
(MULDER draws SCULLY into the room and she sits huddled, shivering, on the bed. MULDER closes the door and goes to her.)
SCULLY: I, um... I was starting to get ready for bed and I started to feel really dizzy-- vertigo or something-- and then I just... I started to get chills.
(MULDER turns down the sheets and blankets on his bed.)
MULDER: You want me to call a doctor?
SCULLY: No, I just... I just want to get warm.
(SCULLY climbs onto the bed, pausing as MULDER takes off her shoes and drops them to the floor. She gets under the covers and MULDER tucks her in, then lies behind her and embraces her in a classic warm spooning cuddle. There is no shyness or hesitation. Both are very comfortable.)
SCULLY: Thank you.
(Pause. MULDER holds SCULLY.)
MULDER: It's not worth it, Scully.
(Long pause.)
SCULLY: What?
MULDER: I want you to go home.
SCULLY: Oh, Mulder, I'm going to be fine.
MULDER: No, I've been thinking about it. Looking at you tonight, holding that baby... knowing everything that's been taken away from you. A chance for motherhood and your health and that baby. I think that... I don't know, maybe they're right.
SCULLY: Who's right?
MULDER: The FBI. Maybe what they say is true, though for all the wrong reasons. It's the personal costs that are too high.
(SCULLY begins to cry silently. MULDER whispers gently into her ear.)
MULDER: There so much more you need to do with your life. There's so much more than this.
(He gently strokes her face as she cries.)
MULDER: (whisper) There has to be an end, Scully.
(He softly kisses her cheek and leans his head on her shoulder. SCULLY clasps his hand and holds it near her mouth.)
Snogger Column Special Announcement
by: ddga4ever <ddga4ever@edsamail.com.ph>
Last March 2, 2001, I received a very shocking and very bad news about
one of the famous snogger in the net, Blue Piper.
Her boyfriend, Mike, emailed us that Blue Piper has been in a car
accident. A drunk driver hit her car and threw 50 ft away. She got a broken
skull, 6 broken ribs, a broken kidney and the worst was they lost their
baby.
Blue Piper is now at the hospital having a 50-50 chance of survival,
but still unconcious up to this day.
Her boyfriend said that it seemed that Blue Piper wasn't the first
victim of that drunk guy because he did this to a man, but Blue Piper's
condition was a worst one than to the man. Police now decided for that
guy to be put in jail.
We ask for your prayers for our fellow shipper, snogger and X-Phile to
survive this tragic accident. We just lost one of the fellow xphile the
last time, Leyla Harrison from a cancer so don't let another fellow to
die.
We are hoping for a miracle.
"Don't give up on miracle"- Mulder (Per Manum)
PAPER SAINTS
by Jill Selby (jillselby@yahoo.com)
Archiving Note: Do not archive at Gossamer. All other archives,
please ask permission.
Disclaimer: Characters from the X-Files are the property of Ten
Thirteen Productions and the Fox Television Network. All others
are the author's creation. Any similarity to any person, living
or dead, is purely coincidental. No infringement is intended.
Classification: XRA/MSR
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: None
Timeline: Post-movie
Notes and thanks from the author will appear at the end of the
story.
Feedback is always appreciated.
____________
____________
PAPER SAINTS 6/15
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: None
____________
PAPER SAINTS 6/15
A memory sprang from its grave to claw at Mulder's conscience--a
boyhood recollection of sitting with his mother as she cried,
bowed by the weight of the things she'd lost. He'd listened to
the fading sounds of a car's engine, a softly sobbed benediction
for a dead marriage, and in the silence that followed he heard
his mother's heart breaking.
Mulder had spent a lifetime running from that terrible sound, and
he feared if he gave this silence any quarter, the noise would
come again. Louder this time. Multiplied by two.
"For what's it's worth, Scully, we did try to get in to see Dr.
Erwin this afternoon, but..."
He paused to allow her into the argument, but she was
stone-still. Watching, but not speaking.
"He kept us waiting for hours, then left for the day without
meeting with us." The scientist had undoubtedly taken delight in
ensnaring the agents in waiting-room hell, complete with
static-garbled Muzak and a decade-old copy of the Ladies' Home
Journal. At the very least, such humiliation should have earned
Mulder a "Serves you right," from Scully.
Again, she ignored the opening he handed her.
"I guess I don't have to tell you that Julie Oliver wasn't very
helpful. Things started off badly when Abbott sat on her cat and
pretty much went downhill from there."
He shifted in his seat when he discovered the focus of Scully's
gaze wasn't on him, it was *in* him. He could feel her peeling
back the layers of him in search of something. Didn't she know
that if she would just talk to him, tell him what she wanted, he
would give it to her?
"Okay, Scully, this is the point in the lecture when the
supervisor tells me what an arrogant, presumptuous asshole I am.
Bonus points if you work in the words 'delusional' and
'lunatic.'" He smiled.
She didn't.
"And then I would apologize and you would say--"
"I don't know what to say to you, Mulder."
Scully didn't normally shy from arguments, but this time she
abandoned her typical, forthright response along with that
comfortable leather chair. Mulder knew she wasn't just soothing
an irritated temper when she took her slow stroll to the windows.
She was putting physical distance between them, and with every
step, fraying the connection he'd so carelessly damaged.
She could have her anger; she'd earned the right. Distance, on
the other hand, was not something he would let her have. He
stood and moved behind her to share the reflection in the glass.
Outside, a million city lights sparkled in her honor, but Mulder
wondered if she was really seeing the view, or if she saw, like
he did, the image of a man desperately wanting, but desperately
afraid to touch the woman he loved.
"You're angry with me." That was profoundly obvious, and he
winced when he heard himself say the words.
Her hands were clutching at the windowsill, her eyes looking at
anything but his reflection, yet she managed to wound him with
agonizing precision--a single, whispered word her only weapon.
"Disappointed."
Air became like water. Mulder fought against the current of
guilt to drag his arms upward and rest his hands on her
shoulders. "I'm sorry, Scully."
She nodded. There was acceptance in the gesture, but no
absolution.
"I tried talking to you about this meeting with Erwin, you know."
He stroked her shoulders, attempting to curry her favor with a
massage. "But, you weren't willing to listen."
"That's not true, Mulder." There was an unaccustomed tightness
to her voice, as if she were talking around anger, or choking
down tears. "I listened, but I didn't agree. Regardless of your
feelings on the matter, you should have followed my orders." She
brushed his hands away and pushed past him to return to her desk.
It was a complicated dance she'd designed, but Mulder followed
her lead and settled back into the guest chair on the opposite
side of the desk. They were in their original positions, ready
for the next verse to begin.
"You're right, Scully. I was wrong. But none of this was really
Abbott's fault. He was just doing what I told him to."
"Just because he's easily misled doesn't excuse him from his
responsibilities."
Scully was tough, but it was toughness softened at the edges by
compassion. That, Mulder realized, was what had bothered him
about Abbott's reprimand. It wasn't undeserved punishment, but
it had been delivered so uncharitably that the memory of it made
Mulder cringe. He broached the subject with due caution. "It's
just that...you seemed awfully...don't you think, maybe, you were
a little bit too--"
"Agent Scully, you have an urgent phone call on line three."
When the receptionist opened the office door to deliver her
message, Mulder contemplated his odds of surviving the same mad
dash for freedom that Abbott had successfully accomplished. He'd
studied Scully as he launched into his defense of Abbott, saw her
straighten in her chair, and realized about half a word past too-
late that criticism was a bad idea.
As she completed her call, her attention clearly diverted to some
new piece of information, Mulder thought perhaps he should send a
thank-you note to whomever it was giving him this reprieve.
"That was Sergeant Griggs."
Or maybe not.
"He got another strange report that he thought we might want to
check out. A woman was admitted to a local hospital tonight with
some sort of ocular displacement anomaly."
"Meaning?"
"Her eyes have been moved."
"To where?"
"The back of her head." She was reading her notes as she spoke,
occasionally glancing up, flirting at the notion of eye contact.
So he baited her, hoping to lure her into a bona fide
conversation. "You're kidding."
"I'm really not in a kidding mood."
Humor was too much to wish for, but at that point Mulder
appreciated any exchange that didn't involve awkward silences or
hidden meanings.
"Who's the woman?"
"A librarian from West St. Louis University. Emma Schnepf."
"Gesundheit."
With a heavenward glance and an impatient sigh, Scully scolded
him for his mockery of the poor, itinerant-eyed Ms. Schnepf, but
beneath the exasperation, Mulder sensed a thaw in the chill that
swirled around his partner.
"Griggs said she was so hysterical that the doctors had to sedate
her. We'll go see her in the morning." In one graceful swipe of
her arm, Scully slid files and notes into her briefcase.
Mulder stood when she did, and with a grand gesture, offered his
hand to carry her briefcase. Mulder's display of gallantry was
charming in its obviousness, or at least he hoped she was
charmed. "We?"
"I don't want you getting lost again." Instead of putting the
strap of the case in his hand, she slipped her own hand into his
grasp, squeezed once, and then pulled away to head toward the
door.
Unfortunately, Mulder was already lost as he searched for the
meaning behind Scully's furtive touch. "Scully, are you okay?"
"Fine." She stopped and turned to face him, offering a weary
attempt at a smile, but not quite succeeding. "Just tired. It's
been a long day."
He nodded in sympathy. As far as he was concerned, this was a
day to forget. "How'd the autopsy go?"
"Well, we now know for certain that Randall Harper had a dirty
mind."
"What?"
Scully was one riddle after another tonight, and apparently not
anxious to elaborate. "I'll tell you about it on the way back to
the hotel."
He crossed the distance between them and gently tugged the
briefcase from her grip. "Are you sure you're all right?"
"I'm fine," she said to the third button on his shirt.
He brought his free hand to her face and, with a tender caress,
coaxed her to look him in the eyes. "What about us? Are we
okay?"
Any reassurance, even a half-hearted attempt at one, would have
been better than the nothing answer she gave him. From the first
kiss she'd been cautious in this relationship, but he'd never
seen doubt in her eyes until this moment. He set down the
briefcase and pulled her into his arms. "You know how I am,
Scully. I can never color inside the lines."
Scully didn't give herself over to the embrace. He could feel
her anxiety surging through the cold hands that rested on his
chest, could hear it in the splintered remains of her voice. "Not
even when I'm the one drawing them?"
He tried cajoling her with kisses against her hair, hoping the
intimate touch would disguise his panic. "It's an authority
thing with me. Don't take it personally."
"Okay." When she slipped out of his arms, he discovered even
sweet noises of reassurance couldn't mask the sound of shattering
hearts.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I expected to see anthropologists lurking in the dense, fuzzy
forest of Liz Claiborne sweaters, watching in astonished awe and
capturing the monumental event on film as Plain Charmin Jane
strayed from her familiar mall habitat of Waldenbooks and Radio
Shack to visit the cosmetics counter at Saks.
Fortunately for the viewers of The Discovery Channel, the only
witness to my harrowing expedition into the strange, colorful
jungle of lip colors and blushers was a very earnest,
mannequinesque blonde who purported to be my very own personal
beauty advisor. She probably would have agreed to be my very own
personal lap dog if I'd spent any more money, but her commission
on a three hundred dollar sale should be enough to buy her
another bucket of the perfume she bathes in.
Three hundred dollars may sound like a lot to spend on makeup,
but each and every product I purchased is an essential element in
a complete skin care system. If I'd dared to walk out of that
store without a tube of Dewy Fresh Lip Emollient in Dusky Mauve,
the entire infrastructure of my face would have collapsed. I
know this, because my personal beauty consultant told me it was
so.
Besides, you can't put a price on self-confidence. She told me
that too, right before she handed me my receipt.
Despite Cosmetician Barbie's assurances to the contrary, I'm not
at all confident in my ability to reproduce the smoldering sex
kitten look. I'm hoping to manage lukewarm sex mouse. That
should be sufficient to impress a 26-year-old virgin whose
arsenal of seduction consists entirely of Twinkies.
Not that I'm an expert in attracting the opposite sex, but I did
have a nagging suspicion that the only beauty tip I ever got from
my mother-- "You can never go wrong with aqua blue eye shadow"
--was woefully outdated. Now, armed with moisturizers,
foundation and smudgeable eye pencils, I'm ready to conquer my
insecurities and offer myself to Trent.
I never thought I'd be smearing expensive colors all over my face
in an effort to woo my best friend. Yet here I am, practicing
with lipliner, staring at Twinkies, and counting the hours until
morning.
Tomorrow, I'll tell him everything I've been secretly feeling and
there will be no interruptions. No reprimands to write. No
shelves to dust. No Mrs. Schnepf poking her crispy-haired head
into our private world.
A message from Trent told me it had been another successful day
in the superhero business, but I didn't truly believe it until I
drove to the hospital to see for myself. Honest to God, it was
like being dropped in the middle of a surrealist version of
"Sesame Street," featuring a short, chubby Muppet with a blue
face and weepy eyes. Even from a distance I could see goopy
trails of hair spray and mascara oozing through her hair. A
professional beauty consultant would have recommended waterproof
mascara. It is, after all, only a few dollars more and the travel
bag is your free gift with purchase.
I walked into that hospital expecting to gloat, to laugh, to
swell with pride at having neutralized the library menace, but
now I realize that all the makeup in the world can't conceal the
shame that comes from hurting an innocent person.
I want to think about Trent and rehearse whispering sweet
nothings. I want to apply dusky mauve lipstick without getting
it on my teeth. Damn it, I want to forget all about a frightened
woman who, because of me, will spend her life in seclusion,
watching TV through a tangle of blue hair.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If asked to recount any part of the conversation she'd had with
Mulder during the drive to the hotel, she couldn't have done it.
He hadn't commented on her distraction, so either she'd
camouflaged her inattention well, or he'd been too immersed in
his theory to notice.
It was true she was only half hearing him, but Mulder was at the
very center of Scully's thoughts as they walked down the long
hallway toward their rooms. His comments and questions were
nothing more than background noise buzzing behind the louder
argument she was having with herself.
When her brain registered an affront, however, she rewound her
memory to hear him say, "There's no reason to waste more time
examining Harper's body. You're not going to find anything."
She reeled on him and lashed out with a voice made rough by a day
of dead-ends and disappointments. "Mulder, believe it or not, mud
does not magically appear inside someone's skull."
It was impossible to debate with Mulder when his enthusiasm and
intelligence combined for a mixture of eager puppy and mad
genius. Even when his notions were eclipsed by common sense and
the laws of science, his zeal didn't wane.
"I think maybe it did this time. We've got prisoners
disappearing from locked cells, bodies stuck to the ceiling with
static electricity, internal organs removed with no trace of
surgery." When he got to the heart of his theory, he leaned close
to her, as though personal magnetism would draw her to his way of
thinking. "Magic is about the only thing that would explain any
of this."
She shrugged in surrender and resumed the journey to her room.
"Okay, I'll put out an APB on David Copperfield and we can go
home."
"I'm serious, Scully."
Although Mulder was trailing behind her down the hall, she didn't
acknowledge him again until she unlocked her door and put the
threshold between them. "Then find some proof. Get me a sample
of pixie dust or a witness who saw a woman flying away from the
crime scene on a broom, because until I have something more
concrete, I'm going to have to rely on mundane things like
autopsies and fingerprints." She had one hand on the doorframe,
the other on the door, and was being none too subtle in her
desire for the conversation, like the door, to be closed.
"But the librarian bothers me."
She suspected that if she'd written "Go Away!" in flashing neon,
he still would have shouldered his way into her room.
Scully stayed by the door as Mulder paced, hoping he would wander
close enough for her to shove him into the hall. There were only
two things that could happen if he didn't leave her room soon,
and she didn't want to deal with the fallout from either until
this case was over. "Can't we talk about this in the morning?"
"Are you sure you don't want to go get something to eat?"
As he stood in the middle of the room, asking the most innocent
of questions, she realized she'd been had. He didn't want dinner
and he didn't want to discuss this case. He was camping out in
her room because he was as determined to talk to her tonight as
she was determined that he leave.
She closed the door, but continued to play the game they'd
started on the remote chance Mulder really had no ulterior
motive. "No. Thanks, Mulder. I'll just call room service."
He scooped up the receiver and poised a finger over the buttons
on the phone. "I could call room service for both of us."
Though they were separated by yards and yards of faded gold
carpeting, she could feel him, slowly, steadily backing her into
a corner. "Mulder." There was warning in the word.
He took step after fearless step until he was close enough to her
to embellish his question with a kiss. "Are you trying to get
rid of me?"
"And here I was about to accuse you of being a poor detective."
He pulled back and feigned insult. "You think I'm a poor
detective?"
"Goodnight, Mulder." She reached behind her and twisted the
doorknob, anxious for Mulder to make his exit.
His hand over hers arrested the movement. "Tell me what's
wrong." A knife-edge of pain in his voice cut off her denial.
"And don't tell me it's nothing."
Scully managed to escape from the cage he'd made around her with
his arms. She couldn't be near him, couldn't touch him if she had
any hope of getting through this without falling apart. "I've
been thinking..." Her watery whispers were only dragging him
closer again, so she started over with more volume to buoy the
words. "I've been thinking about what happened today, and I owe
you an apology, Mulder."
"For what?"
He was indulging her need for physical distance, but in their
emotional tug-of-war he was using his eyes to throw her off
balance. She knew it was cheating to say this without looking at
him, but it would be worse to leave the words unsaid. She
compromised by confessing to the door hinge just over his right
shoulder. "I've been lecturing you constantly about keeping our
professional life apart and separate from our personal life, so I
guess it's ironic that I was the one who broke the rules."
Her avoidance ploy didn't work for long, and he leaned into her
line of vision to tease, "Did we do something indiscreet that I
missed, and if so, would you mind doing it with me again?"
Damn him. He knew what weapon she was wielding and he was still
making himself a target for no reason but to force her to look
him in the eye as she pulled the trigger.
"You told me I shouldn't take your behavior personally and you're
right, Mulder. I shouldn't. In fact, when I asked you to join
this investigation, I should have anticipated that you might
disobey my orders if you disagreed with them."
"Look, Scully, I'm really sorry about--"
"No. Don't apologize. It's my fault." She nearly suffocated on
the truth of the words. "When you did your rogue agent act
today, I took it personally. I was angry and I was hurt and it
had nothing to do with the fact that I was your supervisor and
everything to do with the fact that I expected you to behave
differently for me. Especially now."
He tried to interrupt, no doubt to defend her, but she wouldn't
allow it. There was no defense for what she'd done. A month ago
she would not have felt betrayed by a kiss, because a month ago
she could only imagine the taste of him on her mouth. "So, I feel
I should apologize to you."
"Okay, if you really feel you must. I'd be happy to offer some
suggestions on how this apology could play out." Before she
realized he'd moved, he was holding her, chuckling at his own
joke but clinging to her with a force that was sending a
different message.
"We tried," she said. "And I don't regret that." She was begging
herself not to cry, but one tear was stronger than her will and
left its wet imprint on the front of Mulder's shirt. "I'll never
regret that."
"Don't do this, Scully."
"But, I don't think..." She stretched upward to kiss him, to
steal a memory of something precious that couldn't be hers. "I
don't think this is going to work."
____________
End "Paper Saints" part 6/15