I've had to say goodbye to some friends this week and I'm preparing to say goodbye to some more in the next couple of weeks. I've had to watch my children say goodbye to friends, neighbors and even a loved teacher yesterday. I haven't felt much of this pain in awhile...albeit a familiar pain. All of this brings back clear, heartbreaking memories of me sayinggoodbye to people as a result of the military lifestyle. I clearly remember my first goodbyes to relatives that occurred in 1973. I remember saying goodbye to my first real best friends in 1977. I still see my friend Lisa's parent's car driving away from billeting with her in it - and having that sinking feeling in my stomach that she was gone forever. One of my saddest goodbyes was to my sister when she married and left home. I still can picture the scene at the Denver airport - saying goodbye. Then came the teenaged years. Ouch. Those were some of the most crushing goodbyes of all - saying goodbye to a boyfriend or a beloved best girlfriend; it rips your heart out. I've watched them sail away, fly away and drive away with me standing there left behind. I've also been the one doing the flying away - admittedly that's easier, (if you can call it that) than being the one left back. It's funny how memories become somewhat of a blur and details aren't as lucid as they used to be - but the goodbyes are etched in my mind's eye rather clearly. I suppose the reality and the sense of finality sink in and create a literal impression in my brain. Certainly, to date, the WORST goodbyes are those to one's parents. Thankfully though, I have never experienced the gut wrenching feeling that I will never see them again, like I have with friends. With my relatives, it is a little different; there is peace within me that no matter what or where I am - they will always be there.
So, in light of all this sadness of saying goodbye, WHY in the world do I love this lifestyle so much?!! Well, the simple answer is, had I not been given the opportunity to live and travel in other countries, I would never have met all of those wonderful people. The benefit of having these people in my life, even for the usual short time span of three or four years, makes it all worth it. These people have helped shape who I am, expanded my way of thinking and enlightened me in ways I probably will never be able to fully appreciate. I hope my children, being military children, will take in to adulthood a sense of this. Fortunately for them, technology will allow easier access to loved ones who have to leave them. Undoubtedly, I think the most heartbreaking goodbyes are ahead of me in just a few short years...probably something I've never experienced. The goodbyes from my daughters are something I'm trying to brace myself for even now! I know it's coming ~ and I'll be ready for it... I think. |
