Untitled

Jaina's Journal Entry_#1 "The Crush"
By obi's girl

Summary: We all know Jaina has a "thing" for Jag, Wedge's nephew. Well, this is my take on their relationship. Told from Jaina's Point of view - it makes matters interesting. Jaina contemplates her impression of Jag after her conversation with him on the Chimaera.

Timeframe: Set after Dark Tide 2. Don't ask me when or which book. I'm really not sure. This is sorely for fun.

Genre: Romance, though it is only the beginning.

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: All the below characters belong to George Lucas. I'm just playing around.

To be honest, I'm not the kind of girl to fall head over heels in love with a man. Maybe it's because I've never experienced being in love. I'm only 17 years old, and still learning about my place. My name is Jaina Solo, daughter of Han Solo and Leia Organa Solo, and sister of Jacen and Anakin Solo.

And right now, is not the time for romance or attraction to an older man (only 2 years older than I), but that's not the point. In theory, that's how my mother ended up with my dad. He was the handsome, dashing, cocky space pirate, with his roguish smile that broke my mother's cold, penetrable exterior. They fell in love because it was romantic to fall for someone who was uncivilized and unruly. However, the object of my contemplation is civilized - in the manner that he hasn't whisked me off my feet and threatened me to marry him. (My dad did that to my mom).

His name is Jagged Fel, 19-year-old nephew of Wedge Antilles. His mother, Syal Antilles, is Wedge's lost sister. I don't want to get into specifics, so this is the summary of Jag's life. Wedge's sister was an actress and wanted to make it big, so she left Wedge and her parents and took on a different persona. As her new persona, she met and fell in love with Soontir Fel. Soon, Syal had to confess Soontir that she wasn't who she was, but it didn't matter. He didn't care. He loved her and they married. Jag was raised among the Chiss, a non-estalgic society. But even though that was how he was brought up on Chiss, my impression of our first meeting was not what I expected of a Chiss man.

***

He drew himself up before me, straight of limb and muscularity taut, then snapped his head and upper body forward in a bow that was not as deep as that given the others, but was nonetheless respectful. "I am Jagged Fel." He straightened, and I started to blush as his green-eyed gaze raked my small body. "A Jedi too. Fascinating."

I know it's ironic, but I don't remember what he said after that, but I remember I smiled. >***

Fascinating. I'm a girl, born Jedi. What makes that fascinating? It was flattering to hear, but to people that know Jedi and respect them, it isn't very fascinating. However, on the other hand, the Chiss have been isolated for years from outside contact. Seeing a young female Jedi, that just so happens to be a Rogue pilot, would be fascinating. Right? At the ceremony to receive the Chiss fleet, he ignored the political dignitaries to introduce himself to me. His eyes raked my body, as if he's never seen a young girl before in his life. (Something, which is obviously false). But he is a mystery. There is no doubt about that.

Before, I had a small crush on Ganner, but it was nothing serious. I didn't flaunt it. I only thought he was handsome. Nothing else. Jag...he's...I don't know how to describe him.

Wait a minute!

What about how he insulted me on the Chimaera? He made a judgment based on my age, instead of who I am as a person. I didn't judge him, so it wasn't fair he judge me. We spat back and forth (correction, I spat. He was just trying to be nice and make conversation). I didn't really help. I know that. He probably thinks I'm a spoiled, stuck-up child because I rebuffed his compliments...repeatedly. Maybe it was unfair of me to shoot back his compliments. A compliment is a compliment, just like a meeting only a meeting, unless otherwise indicated.

Oh Force, listen to me!

This isn't the time to fall in love. I don't even really know him, besides his background. I can't be falling for him. I won't. How would it look to higher-ranking officers if it looked like I had a crush on a man, who was higher than I? No. I don't even want to think about the word. It's Sithspawn.

Focus, Jaina. You can't have your head fantasizing.

"I just can't."

TBC.

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Jaina's Journal Entry_2
Obsession to the Limits

By obi's girl

Authors' Note: Originally, this was Journal Entry 1, but decided to change it to 2. And, this fic has nothing to do with my series (Ana & Owen), but even if it doesn't, don't forget to review Ana & Owen, Book 1 and this one. Enjoy.
Genre: Romance, though it is only the beginning.
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: All the below characters belong to George Lucas. I'm just playing around.

Yesterday, as I walked through the hall (Rogue quarters), I passed him, lightly brushed his shoulder - that surprisingly sent a chill through me. I honestly don't know what it is about him. Besides being a member of the opposite sex, he almost insulted me during our first conversation. Naturally, I don't intend to fall for Jagged Fel, but I can't help it. Even though he's stoic all the time and thinks everything that happens is either fascinating or interesting, he enamors me.

He's not like anyone I've ever met before. He's not arrogant, brash and stupid like most other men I've known. He's disciplined, calm and almost striking. I'm not talking about his eyes, but his overall appearance. When he looks at me, it's almost like he's looking into my body and deep into my soul.

That is definite love talk. I know it. I am falling for him and I've already fallen hard. He smiled at me, making my entire body feel like it was melting.

"Lieutenant Solo. I didn't see you. How are you?" he asked. I smiled, though he didn't.

"I was - there's a briefing. Colonel Darklighter, he said all were supposed to attend." I almost cried, and I swear I sounded more garbled and stupid than anything else does.

Jag smiled, almost amused by my answer. I frowned, highering my 'I'm tougher and smarter than you' shields. "Hey, that wasn't funny. You just shocked me. I didn't expect to see you down here." I shot back, feeling a bit offended.

"I didn't mean to offend you, Lieutenant Solo." He whispered then perked up, straightening his uniform as if to impress me. I smiled as he extended his arm to me. "I'm heading for the briefing as well. Would you like to accompany me there?"

I gave him an almost incredulous look, which caused him to smirk. I kicked my gawking eyes back where they belonged and smiled. "It would be an honor, Colonel."

Jag smiled, sending another chill down my back. He certainly can be sexy, even if he doesn't mean to be.

Wedge Antilles studied the report thoroughly as I entered with Jag. I made sure before we entered I removed my arm from his and walked at least a meter behind him. It was crazy to be cautious but this is the military. The smallest hint of interest in a high-ranking officer would be looked down upon by other high-ranking officers, especially Wedge or maybe not...

He smiled at us, almost suspecting we were holding out on something. "Glad you two could finally make it. We were starting to worry."

I laughed stupidly, placing myself amongst the other pilots and out of attention. Jag smiled a bit, something he's never done since he arrived on Coruscant, and I have to admit, I think I was partly the cause for his smile. It was nice.

"This is just a small briefing, and run down of exercises. Freshen up skills. That sort of thing. Nothing to worry or panic about." Wedge stated and raised an eyebrow once he saw me wanting to ask a dire question. "What is, Jaina?"

All eyes turned back on me, which vexed me a bit. "Where's Colonel Darklighter? Shouldn't he be here to conduct these exercises?"

"I am." A voice said. I swirled around, facing the Colonel and bowed. Gavin laughed, going to stand next to Wedge and Jag.

<Okay, that wasn't funny. > I mused in thought.

"Jaina, since you're anxious about these exercises, why don't you go first?" Jag added, teasing me.

<Oh, I'll go first and if they pair me with him, I'll kick his -----. >

Wedge whispered something to his nephew before facing me. "No. Let's get started with these exercises and actually do something productive with our time."

I sigh because I'm relieved. At least it isn't that obvious I have a crush on Jag, but then again, what did Wedge whisper to him?

I ran cold water on my face during break and it felt good. No wander why Wedge, and Gavin were stalling. And Jag. What were they talking about? I know I shouldn't obsess about it but isn't that what girls' do when they have crushes? They obsess about their object of their affection. Look at me, 16 years old and already I'm anxious to hear gossip about my attraction to a cute boy, no man. I'm crazed.

"Nice workout, Sticks."

I swirled around again. I swear I almost broke my neck doing so and smiled at him, only I noticed something. Sweat covered his brow and beads of sweat were on his necks and probably on his ribs as well.... Stop it Jaina! Just stop it. You need to be focused, not fantasizing.

"Thanks." I replied almost too soft for him to hear. Only I couldn't leave it at that. The conversation he had with Wedge. I had to know if it was about me. I hesitated, something that had never happened to me before. "Um, I know this is probably intrusion and none of my business, but earlier, Wedge talked to you while you guys were busy teasing me...Was it...?"

"About you?"

I nodded mesmerized by his reaction.

"Actually yes. I was just wandering how keen are your skills as a Jedi. And was wandering if maybe we could put those skills to the test."

I frowned, feeling disappointed. "You against me? I don't think so."

"Why not?"

"Because I would whoop your ass. I am a Jedi Knight, you know." I shot back, challenging him.

"I am a Chiss, you know. I may not be violent by nature, but equally powerful. I was trained by the best."

I nodded, not believing what I was doing and of what else I was going to say. I placed my hands on my waists and nodded. "All right then. I accept." And extended my hand to shake on it. "Only I should warn you, I'm really good."

"So am I." He replied, taking my hand, once again sending chills down my back.

"What's going on over here?" Wedge asked, accompanied by Gavin. Wedge smiled, almost sensing the tension between his nephew and I.

I smiled pointedly. "Jag challenged me and I accepted." Wedge looked at Jag and he shrugged, though it didn't dissuade me. "Believe me, Wedge it'll help teach your nephew a thing or two." I looked down at my watch and sighed. "I better go and freshen up. Want to get rid of this sweat first."

"Time? What about the time?" Wedge inquired, almost intrigued by this flirting and it was.

Again, I looked at Jag and he nodded. "It's late now. How about noon tomorrow, in the local gym?"

"Noon is good." I replied, grabbing my jacket and sabre along the way.

Wedge gazed at his nephew. "You know, it would be just easier to tell her you like her instead of challenging her to a duel."

"I know. But I've never really been good about expressing my feelings. Chiss trait."

"I can't believe you, Jainy!" my elder sibling squirmed after I told him about my deal with Jag. I smiled. Ever since Corran's duel with Deign Ling, Jacen's been a bit touchy about duels, even if they weren't life threatening.

"It's no big deal, Jacen. I know what I'm doing." I replied, though in truth, I really didn't. I just had to prove to myself we were equals, I guess. That I wasn't below him or he wasn't above me. Something like that. "Wedge and Gavin, will be there to supervise and you of course. Your brotherly instincts won't allow you to back down and let me fight alone."

He nodded. "I'm not worried about you fighting, but isn't this a bit showy? I mean, do you really have to prove to him you're stronger."

"This isn't about strength. It's about being equal. If he can see I'm not a child, and that I have inner strength too and skills, maybe he won't see me as a spoiled child because my mother is a personal friend of Gavin Darklighter and that I didn't get this job in the Rogue Squadron because of my connections."

"It's still crazy."

I shrugged, ruffling my brother's hair a bit like I used to when we were kids. "Maybe, but so is proving yourselves worth. Now, are you going to help me prepare or not?"

He relented, nodding and smiling a bit. "You've always been head-strong and stubborn, Jainy. I see no reason to stop you now from that inner strength." He winked at me, standing up. "Let's get started."

The following morning, Jacen followed me into the gym. He nodded to Wedge and Gavin, and Jag, who was in the corner, meditating. <Jaina's sure to kick his butt. > Jacen thought, causing me to smile and feel more confident.

I smiled, turning to my brother. "Don't worry. I know to be careful." I removed my belt and gave it to him, and a worried look passed over his face. "I told you I wanted to do this equally. That means hand to hand."

Jacen shrugged and hugged his sister for luck. "Just kick his ass, Jainy."

I smiled, backing away and glancing at Wedge. My brother's suddenly turned serious. He brought up his hand and faced two fingers to his eyes. "Focus. Maintain your focus. It's right here. Don't forget that."

"Right, maintain focus. Anything else, coach?"

"Yeah, try not to get you butt kicked." Jacen laughed, shooing me off.

<Oh boy. Maybe this was a bad idea. I mean, I don't need to prove anything. Do I? > I glanced over at Jag. He stood up and removed the cape he was wearing, revealing only a shirt and jump pants. <Okay. Focus Jainy. Remember that you're doing this to prove to him you're not just a kid. Of course, it would have been easier to say so in the beginning and start fresh. >

Wedge stood between us, ready to state the rules. Jacen stood next to Gavin and smiled, feeling proud of his sister for going to this trouble just to impress a boy. It wasn't usually like her, but then again, they weren't kids anymore.

"All right. No weapons. This is hand-to-hand combat. Hopefully, both of you will be lucky to come out of this without a bruise or bloody nose. Keep it clean and no horseplay. Understood?"

We both nodded yes and stated so. Wedge backed away as I started hyping myself, bouncing up and down. Jag began to laugh but remembered to remain focused. He threw the first punch but I ducked him, but managed to grab his leg, landing him on the floor. I smiled to myself, flipping up and pacing behind him like a predator. He jumped up, a bit confused and worried where I went. Jacen pointed behind him. He swirled around, just as I was about to deck him.

"Come on. You're holding out." Jag teased, facing me.

"Yeah, what makes you think that? I maybe a be a Jedi, but that doesn't make me as strong as Luke."

He nodded. "You're holding out. I can see it in your eyes."

I frowned at that and nodded. "Let's go then." I thrust my arms forward, hitting his elbow repeatedly. Jacen's eyebrows' furrowed as he noticed the fight was no longer play, but challenge to our strength and abilities.

He began to hit me, but I ducked quicker and managed to pull him down, covering him. I was on top of him, something I really hadn't planned on and seeing that there was others’ present in the room, it might have looked like I had planned it. He smiled. Beads of sweat were on both of our faces and we were panting from the exhaustion.

I got off him and extended my hand to him, helping him up to his feet. "No more fight. We don't do this anymore." I stated almost in the non-estalgic tone he used all the time. "We're equals. Deal?"

Jag took my hand and shook it. "It's a deal, but next time, I'll take you down. You can guarantee it, Sticks."

I smiled teasingly, as I picked up my jacket and sabre. "We'll see. If there is a next time." I nodded to my brother.

Jacen in turn nodded, laughing. "Kids." And left.

Wedge nodded to his nephew. "You never intended to really fight her, did you, Jag?"

He shrugged. "No, but that doesn't mean we can't compete at other things. Flying for example. That's a whole other area."

Wedge glanced at Gavin and shrugged. "Don't look at me. He's your nephew." Jag smiled at them both before leaving the gym, hoping to catch up with me in the hall.

I didn't even leave the corridor. I knew he'd want to say something to me. Call it female intuition or just the Force telling me I shouldn't leave yet because of something else. I smiled wishfully, gesturing towards the gym. "Sorry, about kicking your butt in there. I hope I didn't ruin your male pride."

"You didn't. It was..."

I waved my hand, smiling. "Let me guess, fascinating, educational, interesting... Take your pick."

"All and above, but I hope this doesn't ruin our chances for a rematch...like I don't know, flying."

I blushed a bit, leaning off the wall. "You just never give up do you, Jagged Fel?"

"The battle is never done until the two sides come to an understanding."

I nodded, understanding his meaning. "Well, until next time, may the best man or woman win." I smiled, before leaving and kept on smiling to myself as I felt his eyes on me walk down the corridor.

>>TBC

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Jaina's Journal_Entry # 3
"The Kiss"

By obi's girl

Summary: Weeks after the events of "Obsession to the Limits", Jaina reevaluates her relationship with Jag; as he reevaluates his with her.
Timeframe: Set after Dark Tide 2. Don't ask me when or which book. I'm really not sure. This is sorely for fun.
Genre: Romance, though it is only the beginning.
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: All the below characters belong to George Lucas. I'm just playing around.

I sighed to myself as I watched the stars above. It was a beautiful night and peaceful...of course if the Vong attacked without warning it wouldn't be peaceful at all. Months ago, no one ever thought about the rest of the galaxy and the reaches beyond that. Now, the universe is no longer safe and it isn't exactly the best time to think about ones' first kiss.

It doesn't matter. The idea that Jagged Fel would even give me a second glance is...only in my dreams. That's another thing. Lately, I've been dreaming about what it would be like to kiss Jag. Would he kiss me first or would I? Was he a good kisser? All these questions have been bouncing back and forth in my head and I don't know how to deal with it.

Wedges nodded watching his nephew straighten his uniform. He had known Jag had a crush on Jaina and she on him, but it was more amusing how they acted around each other. Everybody knew they had feelings for each other, though they never admitted it openly. He was certain Jacen knew his sister liked Jag, though the boy never said anything. But aside from that, all it was just flirting and talking.

Jag turned and smiled, "How do I look?"

"It's nice. But, can I give you some advice?"

He shrugged.

"Why go to all this show if all you have to do is tell Jaina you like her?"

Jag slumped his shoulders and plopped onto the bed. Because he was raised as a Chiss, he was never good at expressing his feelings.... even to a girl and Jaina. "It's just how I am. I can't help it. I can try to be human but it's hard. I'm not used to living loudly and openly." He paused, slightly worried. "Is that going to be problem?"

"It might. Or it might not. Jedi are the same way. Unemotional at times, but completely emotional the next. Mostly, it's about philosophical. Jaina, for example, though she is Jedi, she's not like that all time. She's a teenager and acts like a teenager on occasion." Wedge paused, smiling. "If it helps, I think you bring the teenage side out of her."

"You really think so?"

Wedge leaned back, trying to suppress a smile. "Let's put it this way, she wouldn't challenge anybody to a duel." And winked at him.

"That was only the first round. Next time, I'll beat her.... that's the teenager side talking, Uncle."

"Well, at least there's something there." Wedge added.

After wandering through the halls, Jag found me alone in the gym where had sparred only weeks ago and kicked his ass. It was a tie actually because we decided to be equals. No one really won. No one won, which meant at one point, there would have to be another fight to see who is the better fighter. He smiled menacingly, clearing his throat.

I turned a strand of sweaty of hair stuck to my cheeks and forehead. I gasped, staring at him. My mouth was practically open and gaping back, unable to comprehend. There he was, Jagged Fel, dressed, in an officers' suit or was it one? I wasn't really sure. He was dressed up nicely, almost like gentlemen but the thin shirt he wore almost revealed his tight muscles. <Oh no, Jainy! Don't even think about. >

"Jag, what, uh, is something wrong - I mean what are you doing here?" I asked, practically falling over myself.

He walked closer, eyeing me, trying to see if he could size me down but it didn't work. He didn't intimidate me, but I still felt he was here to see me for a reason. He stopped, facing me and brushed my head, clearing the sweat off my forehead and sides.

"I was training, sir. Jedi exercises and...Sorry, I forgot. We're equals."

Jag nodded, met my eyes and kissed me softly without saying a word to respond to my answer. Only, there was no question. He didn't say anything. He just showed up, interrupted my exercises to kiss me...a kiss that wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I relaxed a bit, my arms crawling around his back as his slithered onto mine. He pulled away suddenly and smiled.

"I always wanted to do that." He whispered.

I smiled back, fingering his hair between my fingers. "I always wanted you too, but I wasn't sure if you felt that way about me. When we met, you saw me as a kid, I didn't think you saw me as a woman."

He shrugged and smiled again. "It's like what you said. A meeting is only a meeting until otherwise indicated." Jag raised a hand and brushed my cheek, making me flush a bit. "We're equals, Jaina Solo and...even though we are, there's still a small business we have to take care of." He backed away and dropped his robe to the floor. "Second try, another round, only this time, none us don't hold anything back. All or nothing."

"You're just so determined to beat me because I'm a girl. Male ego. It never changes."

Jag shrugged and raised his arms and fists, smiling at me. "Well, you've had the time to warm up. It's only fair, we see who's better."

I shrugged but raised my arms, hyping myself up. He moved around, trying to size me down like he did before and this time, I have to admit it worked a little bit. I nodded off the feeling as he swung at me first, I ducked it and positioned myself on his left side. He turned to me and nodded.

"Come on. I know you're better than that, Sticks." He teased.

"I am." I replied stoically before flipping over him and locking his arms in mine. I flipped him over onto the mat and once again, straddled him like I did during our first sparring session. I nodded my head before bending down and kissing him. "Now, we're equals. No more fight. Deal?"

He smiled, kissing me back. "So, I can't beat you sparring. That doesn't mean I can't beat you at flight simulations."

I laughed. "Oh no, Jag. I learned from the best. If we face off on flight simulations, you're going to wish you never met me."

"Then what else can we compete in?"

I tapped my chin with my index finger, as if thinking and smiled back. "How about nothing?" I continued, "We've gotten this far and if we continue to compete, our relationship, our friendship, it'll be hurt, that and our prides. I don't want that. I don't want to hurt you."

He nodded, understanding my meaning. He also gestured I stand up. I scooted off, standing up. "Sorry." I whispered, sensing he was somewhat disappointed.

"I'm not disappointed, Jaina. In fact, I'm kinda of glad I don't have to face you. You're a Jedi and rumor has it, the best rookie pilot in the Rogue Squadron - something that tends to intimidate any pilot of any status and background."

My smile widened as I looked back at him, but waved my hand. "You're just saying that because you don't want to hurt my feelings. Thank you."

He nodded no. "No, I meant it."

"Thank you." I whispered back.

"Oh, before I forget. There's a small social gathering next weekend. It's for all flight officers, no generals or admirals, except if they're monitoring the party. It's nothing fancy, just something to relieve tension and...I was wandering, would you like to be my date?"

I cleared my throat, looking at him honestly and placed my hands behind my back. "I would be honored, Jagged Fel."

He smiled, partly amused by my reaction to his invitation. "All right. It's in the mess hall at 12:00. Don't be late."

I nodded. "I don't plan to be."

Jag smiled again before exiting the gym and vanished down the hallway.

<So, that was a kiss from Jagged Fel. It wasn't bad.... I just hope our first date is better and memorable. >

>>TBC

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Jaina's Journal_Entry_4
"The Date"

By obi's girl

Summary: Obviously, Jaina and Jag's first date. I know, I know, blah, blah blah, you think this is going to be pure mush, it's not. In fact, it's a lot more interesting than you might think.
Timeframe: Set after Dark Tide 2. Don't ask me when or which book. I'm really not sure. This is sorely for fun.
Genre: Romance, though it is only the beginning.
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: All the below characters belong to George Lucas. I'm just playing around.

Looking at myself in the mirror, I'm starting to think maybe this was a bad idea. I mean, things don't need to go this fast, do they? I hardly know Jag. All we've really shared was an innocent kiss. A remarkable kiss. I've never even thought about since it happened weeks ago. I had been fantasizing what it would have been like to be kissed by him. I wasn't expecting him to be there, like he was. He didn't even say anything, he just kissed me. I didn't really think about it a whole lot until now. He was quiet then. So, does that mean he'll be quiet through our entire date, listening to me bore him to death? Of course, I'm not boring. Or am I? I mean, people listen to what I have to say, but that maybe just because my mother was the former Chief of State and a hero of the Rebellion. He might even think I'm spoiled or something. I mean, he wouldn't be wrong to think so. I am spoiled.

"The date. Oh Force, how did I get myself into this?" I cried slumping my shoulders.

Jag smiled at Threepio as he entered the main room. He asked Master Skywalker if he could borrow the droid for a while. Luke cocked his eyebrow suspicious of what the boy was up to, but let him have the droid anyway. Anyway, having Threepio help him prepare some of Jaina's favorite dishes was great. He passed Jacen in the hallway and told him about his date with his sister. It was actually Jacen that recommended he kidnap Threepio to help him out, but Jag refused the idea of stealing the golden droid. He did however, didn't mind borrowing him, which was exactly what he did. And now, everything was perfect.

Threepio popped his head from the kitchen, confronting Jag. "I'm just about finished sir. Is there anything else you need?"

He nodded no. "Nothing else. Thank you, Threepio." Jag nodded, smiling roguishly. "Sticks is going to love this. Perfect."

I straightened my blouse one more time before reaching up to hit the COM. Sadly, Jag didn't answer right away which made me even more nervous. Minutes ticked by before he answered with a sly grin on his handsome face. I didn't know how to interpret the grin, making me self-conscience. Did I come over dressed, under dress? Was something wrong? He waved his hand, gesturing I come in.

I entered, smiling at him slightly. But frowned once I noticed the main room was dim. At this point, my suspicions about what was really going on came to light. I turned to him, smiling. "So, how are you?"

He nodded. "I'm fine. You?"

"Good."

After that, we stood there like two idiots, analyzing the situation. I was examining my clothes, cursing myself for just wearing my brown flight jacket, slacks and boots, while Jag was all dressed up. He was perfect and I was not. He smiled at me and nodded again. "Um, would you like something to drink?"

<Drink? >

"Oh no, I'm fine. But thank you."

His gaze wandered off, before resting on me again. He was nervous.... Probably more nervous than I was, which wasn't bad. If he was nervous, I could be cool.

"Actually, I have to ask, what's with the lights? I mean, any more dimmer in here and we would be bumping into each other." I asked, smiling.

"Oh, the lights. It's a surprise." He replied, again, his gaze wandering, looking for something. He smiled back at me as he waited some more. Finally, there was a click and music began to play. He rolled his eyes, walking closer to me. "Sorry, about the delay. I wanted everything to be perfect. Sorry."

I nodded, resting my arm on his shoulder. "It is perfect, Jag."

He blushed before cradling my hand in his. "Would you like to dance, Lieutenant?"

I started to protest against being called 'Lieutenant' but reminded myself not to spoil the moment. This was our first date. I wasn't going to start things out with an argument over formalities. We danced for a while, then awhile longer, which drew my suspicions even more. It wasn't until the fourth song, did I actually begin to question him. Which in my opinion, was a bad idea. Things were already perfect as they were.

"Um Jag, can I ask you a question?"

He didn't verbally reply except nod.

I let go his hands slightly, gasping. "Are you stalling for something?"

At that, he frowned, cueing the lights and stopping the music. I frowned, inwardly, scolding myself for completely ruining the mood. He dropped onto the couch, rubbing his jaw. "I'm sorry, Sticks. I wanted everything to be perfect. I'm not used to doing this."

I sat down next to him, dumbfounded. I had assumed, since he was a handsome man, not much older than I that he'd be used to girls flirting with him or at least him flirting back. "Jag, what are you talking about?"

He looked at me with grief in his eyes. He mumbled something, then turned his head away. I rose an eyebrow, making a face like I was smelling something fowl. I leaned in closed towards him, asking him to repeat what he said.

Finally, he sprung up off the couch, startling me. "I said this is my first date with a girl!"

I smiled at him. I almost belted over laughing but managed to restrain myself. It wouldn't have been proper if I started to laugh. He'd take it as an insult. I nodded back, still smiling. "Don't worry about it. It's mine too, Jag." He nodded his head, telling me obviously he didn't hear what I said. I stood up, taking his shoulders. "Look at me, Jag. Look at me." He looked at me and I continued. "I said this was a my first date. Don't worry about it. So, what if everything's not planned. Most of the stuff I do in a day isn't even planned. I feel my way around things."

"Yeah, but I wanted things to be perfect." He replied, pacing. He gestured to the kitchen, continuing his speech. "I borrowed Threepio to help me cook the meal, but even that wasn't perfect. He mixed the ingredients great, but taste? It tastes like the innards on a rancor."

I laughed, waving my hand. "Hmm, yummy. Rancor flesh. That's just yummy." I paused, looking at him. "I hope you didn't let him make dessert?"

He looked at me incredulously before laughing himself. "Funny, Sticks."

I stopped laughing, placing my hands on his. "So, dinner is trash. We'll find a supplement." I paused, realizing something. "Wait a minute!"

"What?"

"You lied to me. You said other people would be here. You lied to me and I didn't sense it." I retorted, ruining the mood yet again. I have to get some kind of manual on dating before I totally screw things up.

"Yeah. Well, that was the excuse for dinner. I wasn't really sure if things would turn out okay. I guess I blew it, huh?"

I nodded no again. "You didn't blow it, Jag. In fact, I have a better idea. Follow me."

Jag hesitantly followed me down the corridor. He wanted our first date to be perfect, but since our lives aren't perfect, it doesn't matter. Besides, there's something we need to settle once and for all. I glanced back at him before punching in a code into a terminal. The door opened and we entered, only by this time, he was beginning to get suspicious. I nodded towards the flight simulators as I programmed the computer.

"I thought you said we weren't going to do this?"

I laughed, glancing at him. "I did."

"So, why are we here if it was you in the first place that pledged not to go this far?"

I stopped what I was doing and turned to him completely, "Because Jagged Fel, you have the ego the size of a Bantha and need to be taught a lesson. And I figured this was the best way to do it."

He shrugged as I pulled him inside the deck. He was still hesitant, a huge switch from hours ago. Hours ago, I was the hesitant one and now he was. It was very funny.

I grabbed the throttle, pointing the nose up, checking the area scanner. I leaned back slightly, my back resting on Jag's chest. Okay, so we ended up in the same x-wing, flying the same simulation. It wasn't even my idea. He offered to give me some tips. I couldn't refuse him. So, he head up the ladder, sitting in the cockpit, leaving some room for me. I nodded, climbing up the ladder and now here I was.

"All right. Try not to pull the nose up too much. And keep the altitude steady; not to high and not too low." He instructed. I felt his breath against my neck and giggled lightly because it tickled.

I snapped back to attention, eyeing the altitude. It was medium. "All right. Now what?" I asked, my eyes narrowing on the controls and my view port.

"Now, find a focal point. Once you've done that, follow it and don't let it escape your eyes."

I turned my face back slightly to him, staring at his lips. "Anything? The focal point. Can it be anything?"

He nodded yes, pointing my face back towards the front. He smiled doing so, whispering that it could be. And that it didn't really matter what the focal point was. I found it and followed it as instructed, keeping the nose fairly medium.

"You don't want to come in too steep. Too steep and the ship will burn up. Keep it steady and clean."

I nodded, touching the runway slightly. It was a bit bumpy, but then again, landing any type of aircraft was never easy. And I was nervous. Not only because I didn't want to mess up, but get distracted by this beautiful man steering me home. He was an excellent teacher. <I might have to reward him later for that. > I thought with a grin on my face.

"Hold it, Sticks. You're starting to come in too steep!" he cried.

My mind wandered back to the present, pulling the nose slightly and evenly, just as it hit the ground a few more times. He nodded, watching me. He knew I was good, but still had doubts. I edged the nose a quarter to the left then set the landing gear down gently. There was a small thud, which I assumed to be the gear, then adjusted the angle. I waited, until we reached 10 meters before stopping completely. It was abrupt, but clean. I released my belt, facing Jag to see his reaction. He nodded, frowning.

"What?"

"It wasn't clean. You were distracted. If the nose had gone far off, we would be off the runway. And the landing. You put down the gear too soon. You should have waited some few minutes before it was soft and easy." He replied, but smiled, noticing my lips. "But, you'll get better. You have to. It's just a matter of practice."

"Practice. Practice is good." I replied, staring back at him.

"It is good." He replied, nearing me. My eyelids fluttered as his lips touched mine. He tried to pull me into an embrace but the pit was small, so all he could do was take my hands in his. He jerked back a bit, then kissed me harder and harder.

"Come in, kids! Out of the simulator." A voice stated, startling us.

I opened my eyes, glancing around. Jag checked the side view port for any engineers. There weren't anyone but there was his uncle and Colonel Darklighter, chatting and laughing. He looked back at me, frowning. I nodded, opening the hatch. The windows, I noticed were foggy, very foggy, probably from the closed space between us. I saw Gavin and Wedge and my shoulders slumped over as Jag emerged from the pit, starting to head down the ladder.

<Well, an almost perfect date if we weren't so rudely interrupted. > I mused, following behind Jag.

Wedge nodded to his nephew, then to me as I hit the ground. I smiled at them both, my head lowered a bit. "I'm sorry..." I began, but Wedge shushed me.

"No excuses, Jaina. You maybe Leia's daughter, but you know the rules. The cockpit of an X-Wing isn't used to make-out." He stated, eyeing his nephew.

We both nodded, mumbling, "Yes sir."

"Besides, I thought you two were having dinner." Gavin added, raising an eyebrow.

I smiled for the first time, though my head was low. "Threepio made the meal, only since he has no taste buds, it...well." I brought my head up, nodding to Jag.

"It was Bantha poodoo, Uncle." He admitted. "We're sorry if we violated any rules."

Gavin turned his chin to Wedge, smirking. It was a funny situation, but Wedge, though he looked stern, was laughing on the inside. "It's all right, Jainy. Just don't use the simulator without adult supervision. Deal?"

I smiled back at him, nodding. "Deal." Then I glanced at Jag and he shrugged. I nodded to Gavin as I walked towards the door, Jag following behind me. It was a short date, but it was worth every minute to me and I know, despite the war, we can make it work.

>>TBC

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Jaina's Journal: Entry # 5
"Out of Place"

By obi's girl

Summary: You guys asked for more and here it is (4 chapters of Jaina's Journal. Enjoy! Please, read Adventures of Ana & Owen: New Jedi Knights - Theed reviewed the first chapter and she loved it. Coming Soon Possibly, a side romance between Jacen and Danni Quee!
Timeframe: Set after Dark Tide 2. Don't ask me when or which book. I'm really not sure. This is sorely for fun.
Genre: Romance, though it is only the beginning.
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: All the below characters belong to George Lucas. I'm just playing around.

I showed at the regular briefing, not wearing my flight suit like the other pilots with my hair tied back into a ponytail...and yet, I felt something was wrong. Wedge nodded to me as I stood back, leaning against the wall. I knew eventually this day we would be called again into action. The New Republic had already suffered through some "minor defeats" as the Colonel put them but they weren't minor defeats. Before I head over to the briefing, my Uncle Luke called me. He said that the Jedi were splintering out into groups, and that unity at this point seemed impossible. I sympathized with him, saying that things would get better but though he smiled back, I know he didn't believe me.

I shook my head as Colonel gave out flight assignments to each of us; another run of the rim, patrolling for Vong warships or anything that was out of place. Gavin glanced at me, sensing my attitude. He dismissed the rest of the group and as I was about to join them, but he called me back.

"Something bothering you, lieutenant?"

I shrugged, smiling, "Of course not. Everything's fine."

Gavin looked down, "Look Jaina, I know things maybe bleak now...but we will win this fight. You can count on it. Let's have some more optimism here. We've never been beaten before, we're not going to start now."

"I know, we will, Colonel." I paused, remembering the flight assignments. "I'm sorry, I was distracted earlier I didn't hear what my flight assignment was."

He smiled, "You don't have one."

I frowned, "Why not? Is it the way I've been acting lately? Colonel, I swear, I didn't mean to get distracted and lost..."

He waved his hand, "You're not out of the Squadron, Sticks. You're one of the best pilots. I'm just giving you some time-off. I think you need it; get out of here, hang out with your brothers and your family."

"Colonel, I am a Jedi. I know when people are holding something back. What is it?"

"Jaina, you know almost all the planets on the outer core have submitted to the Vong and that some on the planets in the middle core are thinking of doing the same...It's just the Central Republic, the Senate, they've stopped funding the squadron. We're on our own now."

"On our own? How can they do that? Don't they care what's happening?"

Gavin shrugged, "They do...it's just they can't handle this right now because there are so many refugees asking for help each day; they have their hands tied."

I nodded furiously, "What about the people that are dying and suffering? Don't they matter?"

"Of course they matter, but for right now, all we can do is patrol sector by sector and if there are people that need our help, we'll offer it."

I sighed, unable to believe we were loosing support so quickly. The Senate, they promised they would fund the war and the squadron - now they can't handle that because its' too much. In desperation, I murmured, "I can call Luke. I'm sure he'd offer to supply aid to the Squadron."

He nodded no, "NO! Luke's helped out the Republic more times than I can count, but the Jedi.... they're not allot as they used to be and it wouldn't be fair to scatter them."

I shrugged, "There must something that can be done. We can't just work on our own. We need aid."

"I know, but there's nothing we can do."

Suddenly, my face turned stern, leaving promptly, "Yes, there is, Colonel..." and I left without saluting.

"Jaina, I can't." Jag replied, facing me. "I wish I could help, but the Chiss...they've vowed not to become a liaison to the Republic. I can't break that promise."

"Jag, we need the help. The Military, the Senate's stopped funding the Squadron. If we don't have support and aid, all is lost. Please, I need your help. Please, Jag, do this for me."

He sighed, staring, "Ah Sticks, you know I can't...but I'll think about it."

I smiled, dropping onto a chair, "Thank you, Jag. I know your people are peaceful and do not wish to get involved, but we seriously need this. Thank you."

He stood up, walked over and sat next to me. "What about the Jedi? Can't they help?"

I nodded, "I talked to Uncle Luke; he said more factions are leaning towards Kyp's methods, instead of following him. Streen, Kam, Tionne, my brothers and the rest are still behind him but he's loosing Jedi to Kyp; he'll have to start to take sides and he doesn't want to do that." I paused, "And Gavin said he can't call Luke for help; he said he can't scatter them further and he's right. We don't need more Jedi factions."

"If only the Old Jedi were still alive, we wouldn't have a problem. The Vong would be immediately wiped out and we wouldn't even have to raise a hand." Jag sighed.

"Yeah, Master Yoda and Obi-Wan were the last Jedi from the Old Order, but I'm confident we can fight this."

Jag smiled, "Just keep up that optimism, Sticks. Someone needs to be positive about winning."

"Got that right." I laughed wearily.

I heard the alarms around us but it didn't seem real. We were being attacked. I left Jag's quarters, looking around for someone that knew what was going on. Finally, I stopped a cadet running down the hallway. He wasn't too much older than I, maybe only by a year. "Ensign, what's happening?"

"The Vong. They've attacked one of the core worlds."

I nodded no, "Which one?"

"Yavin 4!" he cried, rushing off to join some pilots on their way to the docking bay.

I froze my limbs unable to move. Yavin 4 attacked. I felt my whole face fall pale and the blood in veins grow cold. I didn't even hear or see anyone else rush past me. I had a shaking feeling. I looked up and saw the outline of someone's face but I wasn't sure whose. He shook my shoulders.

"Sticks, Sticks! Come on!"

"Jag?" I questioned, able to focus.

He nodded yes, "Sticks, you have to go. Your uncle and your brothers will need your help." He looked at me; I was still dazed from the aftershock. "You don't have to get dressed. I can take you there onboard Freedom Cry."

I nodded all right as he helped me towards the vessel he mentioned.

I felt the darkness envelop me as I drifted from consciousness. Yavin was in trouble...the Vong attacked...Uncle Luke, Jacen, Anakin...Still there, might be hurt. Or killed - much worse. No, not killed. I shook my head violently, before awakening from my silent nightmare. I bolted up, sweat on my forehead. I gazed around my surroundings - it looked to be like a Med. Bay.

Sithspawn, was I dead? I rolled my eyes, dropping back on the bed as Jag entered with a woman doctor. He spoke with her briefly before confronting me, the nurse at his side. "Glad to see, we haven't lost you, Sticks." He smiled.

I rolled my eyes again, "What happened? Where am I?"

The woman nodded, steeping forward, "On board Chiss Medical Ship - Freedom Cry. I'm Doctor Ianna Ossus."

"Nice to meet you." I replied, my gaze drifting to Jag's. "Have you been able to make contact with anyone on Yavin?"

"No, we haven't...but maybe you can, now you're awake."

I wasn't sure what he was talking about, until I realized it. Force Telepathy. I could try but I was still weak for fainting. "I don't know, Jag. I still feel a bit weak."

He smiled all right, leaned over and kissed my forehead. "You don't have to try right away - whenever you're ready will do. For the meantime, I'll keep trying to contact Master Skywalker."

"Thank you...and thank you, too Doctor Ossus."

She smiled thanks, walking away. Jag gazed at me one last time before disappearing himself.

~~~<Jaina, get behind me! > Jag yelled as he stood between my brothers and Uncle Luke.

I nodded no, grasping my purple sabre, pushing myself to the front, next to Anakin. Jag rolled his eyes, not surprised I wasn't going to stand back. Another shot. Jag held up his gun, glancing at Jacen. It was quiet for a time - deafening quiet. I gasped, looking back to check the other cadets, when I felt a burn on my right shoulder. I dropped to the floor, holding my shoulder. Jag fell to his knees, examined my wound and nodded.

<Sticks! Sticks! >

I nodded, deactivating my sabre, trying to place it back on my belt...It simply dropped to the floor. Sithspawn, why now? I had all ready been so much all ready, why this?

Anakin turned his head, noticing me on the floor, Jag squatted down on my right side. <Jaina? >

<It's not that bad. > I lied, nodding. As my eyes opened again, I barely made out a lone Vong standing at Jag's back, ready to strike him down with his staff. I grabbed Jag's gun, fumbled with a bit. When I got used to it, I aimed it at the Vong's chest. Blood spilled from it as he fell the floor, limp.

He looked back at the fallen Vong, totally shocked. He turned back to me smiled, and kissed me forehead. <You saved my life, Sticks...I...>

<Don't worry about it...just don't embellish about it too much when we get back. > I teased. Suddenly, I felt the pain shoot up my arm some more. I felt paralyzed, I couldn't move. I tried to reach for Jag's hand. Our fingers barely touched before darkness overtook me... >> ~~

I blinked my eyes open when I noticed the flicker of light. I felt a jolt as we landed on Yavin's surface. Jag ran into the Clinic with his gun. "Jag, what's happening? Were we attacked coming in?"

He nodded, "No, just a bit bumpy. Come on. Your Uncle Luke wants us to meet right away."

"What about my brothers? Are they all right?"

Jag smiled all right, picking me up, carrying me out of the Clinic.

I was still feeling groggy when we entered the Temple. I asked Jag to stop carrying me. He refused at first because I was still out of it, but then I reached for my lightsaber and he let me down. I brushed my pants, pulled back my hair and huffed as we entered the Grand Audience Chamber. I nodded to Jag to look around for someone, anyone while I waited in the auditorium. I huffed again, sitting on the edge of the stage. It felt weird being back here. I know that probably sounds strange since I am a Jedi - but I've made flying my dream, my life since I can remember. I felt out of place.

I shook my feelings away as Jag came back with Jacen and my Uncle Luke. I hugged my brother first before my Uncle. Luke smiled at me, giving me a slight squeeze. I glanced at Jag, who just nodded. "What happened? Where is everyone?" I asked.

Jacen nodded, "The fighting is a stand-still, Jaina. We've managed to keep close guard over the Temple, but if the Vong seize the Temple..."

"I know." I replied, not wanting to hear the rest of his explanation. "Um, Jacen - this is Jagged Fel, Wedge's nephew."

The boy turned around, smiled hello at Jag but nothing more. "Yeah, I heard about you. Jaina doesn't talk about anyone else."

"Okay." I retorted, mentally telling Jacen to cut it. "How is everybody else? Was anyone hurt?"

Luke shrugged, "Jaina, a couple days ago Zekk came back."

My eyes blinked, loosing my composure a little bit. I didn't need this right now. Zekk was my first love and now he was back and I was with Jag. Could things get any more worse? I nodded no to my Uncle. "He doesn't know I'm here, does he?"

"No, he doesn't. We didn't even know you were coming." Jacen replied. He noticed my lightsaber dangling on my belt. "I know all of this is still a shock but when you're up to it, maybe you can join the fight."

I glanced at Jag to meditate but he didn't say anything. Always silent - the Chiss way. "Maybe." I answered.

"Who's Zekk?" Jag asked as we walked towards my old quarters.

I shrugged, brushing my braid aside. "He's just an old friend."

He stopped walking, crossing his arms, knowing Zekk was more than just a friend. I stopped walking as well, huffing lightly. "Zekk and I - we were friends, nothing else."

"You have a history."

"Yes, but it didn't work out. Jag, I love you. You know that - like my brother said, you were all I ever talked about." I supplied, hoping he would buy it. I couldn't lose him over this. I all ready had that vision.

He nodded, taking hold of my left hand and kissed it. "All right."

"So that was Jagged Fel, Wedge's nephew." Luke mused as he walked beside his eldest nephew. Jacen smirked a bit, knowing full well how serious his sister and Jag had become, but now Zekk was back - things might become somewhat complicated.

"Before they started dating, Jaina couldn't stop talking about him - how stoic he was; I guess the Chiss are raised like that." Jacen added, shrugging a bit.

Luke nodded, scratching his chin with his aesthetic hand. "Ya know, I really haven't shaved in days - with all that's happened, I don't think none of us has really had a chance to relax."

"Wars like that and most of life, well our life anyway." Jacen hesitated, "I think after the war, Jaina may join the Rogue Squadron full time." He glanced at his Uncle for a reaction. "You know Jainy loves flying."

He waved his hand, "It's not that, Jacen. I know she loves flying; she's so much like her father in that sense - but the way things are going with the Vong and the war, I'm not sure we'll actually survive the war."

I rolled my neck back and forth, configuring my blaster. I know a Jedi needs only one weapon, the traditional lightsaber but as a pilot, I need to be prepared so as part of my training, I learned how use a blaster. I didn't even tell my family about it, mostly because I knew I would get a huge lecture about it from my Uncle Luke. But in war, you have to make those types of changes and lately, I had been going through changes, mentally. I know I've born to be a Jedi, but I love being a pilot. I feel more at home in the sky or out there kicking Vong butt which isn't a bad thing. But now, I don't where I should stand.

I've returned to the academy and the Jedi but do I even belong here anymore? Do I have a place? I don't know. And sooner or later, I will have to choose one over the other but if I choose to be a pilot, my parents, my Uncle, my brothers will be disappointed in me to throw away my talent. Or maybe they won't. I mean, it's not like they're going to shun me from the family for growing up.

Besides, flying has always been my first love. Well, maybe not. Zekk was really my first love and now, Jag was in my life. Of course, I never expected to fall for him. But, oh, am I glad I did. After Zekk left me, I had pretty much given hope of ever being happy and focused most of time training as a Jedi, washing away my sorrows. But I don't regret ever meeting Zekk. With first loves, you can never regret even when you try to move on with your life.

I put my blaster back in my pack, as someone entered the auditorium. "Jaina?" he questioned as I looked up at him. Not Jag, Zekk. His face was rugged, and he looked pale as Sith. My eyes drifted from his face until they reached his stomach. Sure enough, a spear was shot into his abdomen and it was bleeding rapidly.

"Sithspawn!" I cried, rushing over to him, helping him stand. "Come on. We need to get that looked at." Ushering him out, almost bumping into Jag. I looked at him briefly before moving in.

Tionne smiled at me for reassurance as she removed the spear from Zekk's stomach. Blood was massed all over hands, but she quickly cleaned them off and grabbed some bandages, winding them around his stomach as I helplessly stood back and watcher. This wasn't' exactly the meeting I had expected between us. In fact, I didn't even want to see Zekk at all during this whole thing. Seeing him would only bring back bad memories and feelings and I needed to focus on the present. We all did.

Finally, Tionne finished the last wrap and as she was about to trash the spear, my Uncle came in and took the spear and examined it. He smelled it, wrinkling his noise. "Poison?" she asked, sending a chill down my spine.

"No, just a regular spear." He mused, breaking the thing in half on his right knee. Luke then folded his arms, looking at Zekk and smiled. "What happened that almost got you killed?"

He shrugged, "I was keeping watch like you told me too, when that spear was thrown into my stomach. I managed to calm the pain for a few minutes as I searched the Temple for help." He paused, glancing at me. "Then I felt something familiar and followed it..."

"And you found me." I added, "Though I wish it under better circumstances. War isn't the best time to meet up with old flames."

He laughed, eyeing me. "I'm over that, Jainy. I'm just glad to see you and that you're all right."

I smiled my thanks as Jag entered, searching about until I waved him over. He kissed my cheek, causing a scowl on Zekk's face. "Zekk, this is Jagged Fel, Wedge's nephew. You remember, Wedge right? Wedge Antilles?"

Zekk shrugged, extending his hand to Jag. "I never met the guy, but I did hear a lot about him. It's nice to meet you Jag."

Jag smiled hello at Zekk, though I sensed he was suspicious of him. They were suspicious of each other and right now, I didn't need to deal with this. Ex-boyfriend meeting current boyfriend wasn't on my "to do" list. I rolled my eyes, taking Jag aside.

"I called my Uncle. He said he could spare maybe a couple pilots for reinforcement and if things started to get really desperate here. If we need them, all I need to do is call him back."

I nodded all right, eyeing Zekk. He wanted to leave but Tionne ordered him to stay put and rest, which meant I wouldn't see him walking in the halls while I was here. That was a good thing. I couldn't talk to him right now, especially with Jag here.

"Hey, you okay?"

I smiled up at him, glancing at Zekk and my Uncle Luke. "Yeah, I'm just a bit tired. It's been a rough week."

Jag grinned, placing his hands on my shoulders, massaging them as he walked me out of the Healer's Center. I was so lucky to have him by my side, but the prospect of having Zekk around scared me. What if the two of them met again and Jag questioned his past. No, gurl. Don't even think about it. Thinking about that will only add to your tense shoulders and possible headache.

"Hmm. That feels good. Thank you." I mused, happily as we settled down in the grand auditorium.

"You've been pretty tense a lot lately. Almost since we left Coruscant. What's going on, Sticks?"

I shrugged, turning to him. "War tends to make a person tense, Jag. It's a tension-magnet."

He laughed, "Maybe, but I think there's something you're not telling me. You can tell me, Jaina. You can't keep thus bottled up forever and hope it will go away. It won't."

I rolled my neck again, massaging it myself. "I don't want to talk about it." Jag frowned, looking down and my heart nearly sunk. "I trust you, Jag, I do but what's going on with me - I can't tell you."

"You can't tell me or you won't tell me." he stated, standing up and pacing about. "Jaina, I care about you a lot and still after all this time, you're still cautious of how I'll react."

"I'm cautious because I don't want to hurt you. Jag, you're the first guy in a long time I have been serious about."

He turned back to me and smiled slightly. "I didn't mean to get angry, it's just - I worry about you sometimes. How this war is effecting you."

I smiled back, extending my hand to him as he sat back down. I kissed his cheek and smiled lightly. "You don't have to worry about me. I've been through war before. Remember, my parents and Uncle and Aunt had to deal with crisis on a daily basis. It's nothing new."

"Yeah, I remember. But still, whatever is bothering you, take my advice and don't keep it bottled up inside. It's not good and whatever it is will only get worse."

I laughed, "Older advice, huh?"

"Its not like I'm ancient, Sticks, but remember, my Uncle is also a legend. You get used to it but you don't hide behind your problems."

I rolled my eyes at him, kissing his right cheek again. "I am sick of these little 'I'm older than you' pep talks. Why can't we just focus on the ere and now?" I mused, kissing him.

"Jaina!" someone cried, startling us both. My Uncle Luke entered the auditorium in a rush, nodding to Jag. "It's the Vong. They're back."

I frowned, glancing at Jag. He had all ready removed his gun from its holster, ready for combat though I was less enthused.

>>TBC

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Jaina's Journal_Entry 6:
Prelude to A Spiral

By obi's girl

I rushed down the hallway, towards outside, fearing the worst. First, the Senate stopped funding the military, which meant the Squadron was on its own, then Yavin attacked and my family in danger and then Zekk, showing up out of no where. If I had the chance top stop and scream at the top of my lungs I would, 'cause right now I wasn't' in the best of moods. And the vision of Jag getting hurt, something I was sure I could prevent - even if it meant getting myself in danger in the process. I couldn't let that happen to Jag or anyone else. I huffed to myself, as I rounded a corner, bumping literally into Zekk.

I growled. That's it! Now, would be considered the perfect time for that scream...or an attack. He smiled at me, though all I wanted to was yell at him coming back but I couldn't. So instead, I simply pushed him aside with a scowl on my face, which did help me feel a little bit better.

"Wait a minute, Jaina!" he cried as I froze, turning back to him.

"Look Zekk, I'm really not in the mood to talk to you right now, so whatever you have to say, I don't want to hear it! Matter of fact, don't even bother to try to initiate a conversation with me, 'cause I've had it! Just go away!" I yelled back, leaving him dumbfounded.

Zekk frowned, before remembering what he was going to say. "I wasn't going to say anything about that. What I was going to say was that the Rogue Squadron is here to help."

Huh? I gritted my teeth, feeling like a complete idiot, not to mention a walking time bomb. I was bound to say sorry when the Temple was hit. I fell into Zekk's arms from the blast but pushed myself off him as I stumbled to stand up properly, tapping my COM. "Uncle Luke, what in Sith was that?"

"Jaina...can't hear you. Need you down here...Jag's been hurt." Luke answered his voice static from the hit. But the last part I clearly understood. Jag's hurt.

"By the Gods!" I gasped, glancing at Zekk. He saw my panic about Jag, realizing something about the older pilot, something pivotal. But before he could question me, I called back. "Uncle Luke?"

More static.

"...In the Healer's Center." he returned, cutting off the link and I immediately bolted in that direction, Zekk following close behind me.

~~<Jaina, get behind me! > Jag yelled as he stood between my brothers and Uncle Luke.

<Sticks! Sticks! >

I nodded, deactivating my sabre, trying to place it back on my belt...It simply dropped to the floor. Sithspawn, why now? I had all ready been so much all ready, why this?

Anakin turned his head, noticing me on the floor, Jag squatted down on my right side. <Jaina? >

He looked back at the fallen Vong, totally shocked. He turned back to me smiled, and kissed me forehead. <You saved my life, Sticks...I...>

The vision replayed over and over in my mind as I raced towards the Healer's Center. I couldn't lose Jag; I just found him. I couldn't lose him. Tears stung my eyes as I entered the clinic, searching about for Jag. I grabbed Tionne's arm, a pained look on my face. "Where is he?" I cried, as she pointed to the bed behind me.

I ran to Jag's side, hugging him, crying. Zekk huffed, watching me though at this point, I didn't really care if he saw hoe attached I was to Jag. I brushed his black hair away and smiled weakly, kissing his forehead.

"Jag? Jag, please wake up!" I cried, struggling to maintain as calm as possible. His eyes fluttered open and I wept, kissing him. "You're okay. Thank the Force."

He cuffed, sitting up weakly, glancing at Zekk, who turned away to talk to Tionne. "I was shot, but I'll live. Just another war wound to add to the inventory. Nothing big."

I smiled, "Still, I'm sorry. I never wanted you to get hurt."

Jag frowned, looking at me curiously. "Never wanted me to get hurt? What do ya mean?"

"I had a vision about you...and me. I was shot, wounded and you were looking after me when you were shot yourself. When Luke announced the Vong had come back, I feared my vision might actually come true in an even worse way." I paused, glancing at Zekk, "but I was distracted. Sorry."

He smiled back, patting my hand, "Don't worry about it. I'm just glad I didn't die. If I did, I would have loved to see your face one last time before I go up there."

I kissed his forehead again, wiping away my tears as Jag nodded to Zekk. "He was your distraction, wasn't he?" he asked, his face cold, staring at Zekk.

I shrugged, "He just came to let me know about the Squadron."

Jag nodded, "Are you sure? Nothing else?"

I smiled again, "Jealous are we?" I teased, frowning slightly as he stared back at me. "I just blew off a little steam but I'm okay now. Really."

~~<Sticks? >~~ My COM buzzed as I grabbed it, answering back.

"Copy. Sticks here."

Wedge laughed, "What are you doing inside the temple? I thought you were joining the fight out here?"

I shrugged, glancing at Jag. "I was going too, but Jag was hurt. He's okay though. If you want to talk to him, it's fine." Jag nodded all right, taking the COM from my hands.

"Uncle? How's it going out there? Kicking Vong ass?"

He laughed, "Some. They're retreating, but where they'll end up next we don't know." Wedge paused, grasping the situation, "You sure you aren't hurt badly?"

Jag smiled, gazing at me. "I'm sure, Uncle and congratulations."

I would have loved to remain on Yavin, and catch up with my brothers and Uncle but Jag, Wedge and I were to report back immediately. Duty calls. Of course, if the Senate found out we kept Yavin safe, they might rethink funding the military, but if they didn't - I was going to be really pissed off, especially at Chief Fey`yla. Of all the politicians, my family has had to deal with Fey`yla was the worst and the most annoying. And it wasn't just me that felt that way. We all did and if we had the chance, we would make him resign from his position.

I glanced at Jag for the fifth time, as he and Wedge piloted the shuttle back. I know I shouldn't worry about him, but he's the first nice guy in a long time that hadn't pushed me away. Zekk pushed me away and though I really didn't have the chance to have a civil conversation with him, I was more than happy to return to Coruscant, bypassing him completely. I didn't need my past catching up with my present and if we stayed, Zekk and Jag would talk and I would be in a lot of trouble.

"Hey Jaina, what's going on? You're so quiet back there? Wedge asked, a smile on his face.

I shrugged back, "Just thinking."

Jag laughed, glancing at me and I smiled back. "So, what did you do that almost got you killed?"

"Nothing stupid; I'm not that stupid. Believe it or not, I saved that friend of yours, Zekk. I took the shot for him and he ran off to go for help; I guess when he bumped into..."

I frowned, silently scolding myself for yelling at Zekk. True, I wasn't in the mood to see or talk him but I should have given him the benefit of the doubt. And I yelled at him, telling him I didn't want to talk to him anymore. Oh, I feel wonderful. "He saved you, huh?"

"Yeah. We hardly knew each other and he saved me." He said, glancing at me again and I knew he wanted me to say something but as much he wanted me too, I wasn't ready. I know Jag said it was bad to hold things backs, but past should remain past. For that, I looked down, biting my lip - the rest of the trip spent in silence.

As we approached Coruscant, I was surprised to see the Chiss fleet hovering over. I glanced at Jag and he only shrugged, unsure what was going on himself so he picked up the COM and connected to one of the ships. "This Colonel Jagged Fel, what's going on?"

"Colonel Fel, trying to sound like a stuck-up pilot, huh? Honestly, Jag, is that any way to talk to your father?"

Jag cringed, gazing at both Wedge and me. I sincerely felt sorry for Jag, but I was curious to meet his father, as I was sure Wedge was and know how his sister was doing. "How long have you guys been here?"

"We arrived a few days after you took off for a Yavin 4. Jag, you know there are civilians down below and you left ---."

He immediately frowned, clutching the COM, "Friends of mine were in trouble, close friends. The Vong attacked Yavin 4, targeting the Jedi."

"You better head on down to Coruscant and report; I'll meet up with there later."

"Understood." Jag retorted, shutting off the COM. It was weird, listening to the two of them. I mean, I expected since they were father and son, they would be really close - of course it could have been because I was from a big family, I was used to that type of security. But even that security wouldn't keep us safe from the Vong - probably didn't even know the meaning of family.

"Do you think Colonel Darklighter will be mad at us?" I asked Wedge as, he, Jag and I head towards his office. He shrugged, smiling reassuringly.

He shrugged, "I can't say, Sticks. But if I know Luke, he probably called ahead and gave him the whole story...or not."

I laughed, "Oh, I feel so much better." As we entered, I noticed Gavin talking to another man; he was unfamiliar to me though somehow I felt I should know him. Jag stepped up and hugged him briefly, though it tight between them. Baron Soontir Fel, Jag's father and Wedge's brother-in-law.

"Dad, why are you here?"

"The Chiss want to help the Republic as much as possible and provide any aide possible. And from the looks of things, you could use the help..." then he turned to me and smiled, "and you young lady. Jaina Solo, congratulations for making the Rouge Squadron, and for helping to save Yavin 4."

I smiled, "Thank you, sir. I, uh, I have family there and it totally threw me when I found out."

He nodded, glancing at Wedge. "Wedge Antilles, finally we meet. Syal doesn't talk about anyone else in the family, except you. She's been keeping tabs on you; even a scrap book of everything that's happened here and with this war against the Vong, there's some more we can to that add - like a victory celebration for kicking their asses back where they belong."

I like this guy! Finally, someone to hustle the Senate over the Vong. And not to mention Borsk Fey`yla. I glanced at Jag as he confronted Gavin. He nodded, "You don't need to report. Luke called and told me everything." I smiled again but quickly frowned, remembering Zekk.

"If there's nothing else, I'd like to rest. Got my first souvenir from the Vong," Jag replied, gesturing to his stomach.

"Absolutely, but stay on alert, you too Sticks." Gavin instructed.

Jag smiled up at me as I checked his bandages from the blast. They were still in tact but in case we were needed again, I used a Jedi healing trance, helping the wound cover up faster. Tionne had taught me how to do that when I was younger, before the war happened - I'm just sorry I couldn't prevent Jag from getting hurt. I was able to heal it a little bit so it wouldn't sting as much when he walked. "Feel better?"

"A little, but not that's where it hurts anymore."

I raised an eyebrow at him but decided to play along anyway and smiled. "Where does it hurt then?"

He pointed to his right brow and I kissed it. Next, he gestured to his cheek and I gladly obliged. Last, his lips hurt the most. I kissed him fiercely but was careful to mind his wound. "Hmm. I needed that."

I laughed, "I think we both needed that." I paused, staring back at him. "Can I ask you a question?"
He nodded all right so I continued. "In the shuttle, when you talked with your dad, you sounded strained - it's like the two of were on opposite ends."

"You wouldn't be far off. Before I left Chiss, my dad and I had an argument about the war. He didn't want to get involved in the Republic's fight but I felt differently. I wanted to help and since Wedge was here, I figured it a good a time as any to meet my mother's brother." He paused, studying me. "Now, can I ask you a question?"

I nodded okay.

"I know you told me Zekk was an old friend, but the way you two acted around each other while on Yavin, suggested you were more than that? Were you?"

I frowned, huffing. "I won't deny Zekk was special to me, he was but that was a different time; we weren't in a war or anything. We were friends."

"Special to you? Sounds like you were more than friends."

I laughed, brushing his bangs away, "Why is this important? What happened to Zekk and I was a long time ago - it just surprised me he was on Yavin, helping out. I didn't even where he had gone all these years, or if he was alive for that matter. What does it matter?"

"It matters, Sticks...because I love you."

I smiled, blushing partly. He said he loved me, which I know was hard for him since as a Chiss, he wasn't used to emotion. And finally, I got to see the human side of him that been latent for so many years. "Did you just say you love me?"

He shrugged, "I did, but back to the original question - was Zekk more than just a friend?"

I frowned again; back to Chiss life. Human one moment and Chiss the next. I seriously can't figure out this guy. But I wasn't going to lie to him anymore. He deserved to know; I just hoped he wouldn't get mad at me. "I care about him but he pushed me away, countless times. Eventually, the many times he pushed me away began to takes it toll on our relationship so he left. It wasn't the best solution but I think he felt obligated to leave because he had turned to the Darkside and didn't want to be a threat to anyone, including me."

"...but you were close, or at least somewhat close on some level?"

I shrugged, "Or no level at all; I just never understood him."

"...but you knew him for a time and had grown close before he turned to the Darkside?"

At this point, I was beginning to worry. All these questions about Zekk and I... Was Jag questioning my loyalty to him? Was that why he said he loved me? To test my feelings for him? "Jag, where's this coming from?"

"Like I said, Sticks, I love you - you're the first girl in a long time I've been serious about. I just don't you to keep anything back from me. You can tell me anything."

I frowned, "Like if Zekk and I were serious that we slept together? That's what you're trying to get at, isn't it? That we were intimate? Jag, that's the past for me. I don't even think about it, because of the pain. And there was a lot of pain, pain he gave me because he left without saying goodbye. No letter, no telling anyone else - just left and didn't say good-bye. Is that what you want to hear about my past?" I cried, abruptly standing up, looking the other way.

"Jaina, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."

I shrugged him off, "No, you're not. You tell me you love you and then you question me about my past with Zekk; you didn't even show remorse!"

"I am sorry. I just don't want compete with your past."

I turned to him, brushing away my tears. "I'm not expecting you too, Jag. You're now; Zekk was the then. And no, I didn't sleep with him. I'm surprised, you should know better than to question how I feel about you."

He smiled, "How do you feel about me, now the subject is up?"

I laughed, "You're fascinating," I quipped, quoting him. "Um, can you say it again?"

Jag frowned, "What are you talking about?"

I smiled, kissing his cheek. "That you love me." I whispered back.

He smiled, wrapping his arms around me, "I love you, Jaina Solo. I love you."

That night, heading to the mess hall, I couldn't stop staring at Jag. He was the one, I knew it. No more future loves, he was it. No one else. Of course, it could have been because he told me he loved me - it was still sinking in, not yet processed. As we entered the mess hall, were started to hear the pilots hum the wedding march at our appearance. Very cute.

A whole lot of them had been enjoying the spectacle of what was our relationship. The make-out session in the X-Wing during a sim and his Uncle and Gavin catching us. When he challenged me to a fight in front of everybody else and I accepted to teach him a lesson. We sat down at a corner table to stay away from the rest of the crowd.

"Was there anyone in your past that was special?" I asked, staring at the stars many stars outside one the mess halls' of the massive view ports.

He shrugged, "I never really had the time to date; I was judged by Chiss standards...and the girls there are pretty tough and void of emotion, but only connect with full fledged Chiss. Remember, I was an alien living there."

"I remember, but still - there must have been someone you considered special; a crush."

Jag smiled suddenly, gazing at me, "You won't get jealous?"

"Why would I be jealous? I trust you."

"Her name was Vitrana Olis. Pretty and for a girl, not as muscular as most Chiss. She was young, about your age and nice hair." He smiled and I immediately frowned, folding my arms. He saw my expression and stopped smiling, "You said you wouldn't get jealous."

"Yes, but good hair - what's that supposed to mean?"

He smiled cockeyed, "I said nice hair; I didn't say good hair. Why does it matter?"

"She was prettier than me wasn't she? More gorgeous, I would imagine since she wasn't tough like the other girls. Slim, beautiful..."

Jag huffed, "I thought she was..."

I raised an eyebrow, "Thought she was? What is there like a scale or something? Who's the hottest and who's not?"

"Chiss don't judge, you know that."

"When you first came here, you bypassed alien delegates whom were really important." I added, referring to the grand reception held to greet the Chiss.

He shrugged, "To meet a interesting girl that caught my eye - You!"

I huffed, "So, now I'm not gorgeous? I'm interesting?"

Jag frowned, sitting back a bit, scared I was going to kill him with my questions. And I laughed, realizing how stupid how I sounded. He hesitated to laugh at first but after he realized it wasn't a trap, he joined me. "I'm sorry, Jag - I promised I wouldn't be jealous and I badgered you with questions." I paused, smiling, "Pay back for asking about Zekk."

He smiled, "Ya know Jaina, with relationships, people have to learn to trust one another. And not be afraid to say anything."

"I think I'm just starting to understand that." I paused, "I'm just starting to understand a lot of things."

>>TBC

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Jaina's Journal_Entry_7:
Dreams

By obi's girl

Summary: This is a turning point fic. I won't say how except it will have a surprise at the end, that will be totally unexpected.

Regretfully, I haven't been able to spend time with Jag these few weeks. Our duties kept us apart. He spent time in the simulator, perfecting assault plans against the Vong while, I, on the other hand spent more and more time in combat. It seemed like every second, the Vong was attacking some helpless planet just to annoy us, and me.

I saw Jag on a couple occasions but was never able to talk, except exchange glances and smiles. It tolls on both of us, tired and irritated. A never-ending spiral. Thankfully, today the Vong decided to give us a break to attack so I was able to unwind a bit.

Gavin was just dismissing us when the Baron called me back to talk. He smiled at me briefly, and surprisingly with that smile, I saw Jag. And something else. It came through loud and clear. They hadn't been talking since the Baron came to Coruscant.

"Is there something I can do for you, Baron?" I asked.

He shrugged, leaning back, "I know things have been busy lately, but have you talked to Jag by any chance?"

I frowned, nodding, "I haven't been able to. Duty calls. He's pretty much spending his time in the simulator. It's almost like his home."

The Baron nodded, stepping foreword, "Officer Solo, I know it's not my place to say anything but are you and my son involved?" My frown deepened. "It just seemed like you were when I came here; the way the two of you acted around each other."

I was about to reply but he stopped me. "If you have the chance, talk to him. He won't talk to me; he's stubborn like that. But with you, he's different - open."

I nodded, glancing at him. "I'll try to talk to him, Baron."

I finally caught up with Jag as he was exiting the simulator, a data pad in hand. Though it had been weeks we were apart, he still looked the same, except for his face. He seemed saddened, lost. I know, I felt his pain - it was the same pain his father exhibited which made me wander what was going on between the two. Jag saw me and looked away, handing the data pad to another officer as I confronted him.

"What are you doing here? Don't you have an assignment?" he asked, scowling.

I shrugged, nodding to the simulator. "The Vong haven't been attack lately, which gives us a break. There are patrols but I'm not on them." I huffed, smiling partly at him. "The simulations any better?"

"They're okay. Targeting could use some work..." Jag gazed at me, nodding, "You came down here for another reason. What is it, Sticks?"

I looked down, fidgeting. "Your father; he was worried about you. He said you've been avoiding him." If there were one thing to put even more strain on the way things were going, this would be it (besides my recent encounter with Zekk). "What's going on Jag? You position yourself away from people, spending odd hours in this place..."

"Jaina, don't worry about it. It's my problem, not yours. And he shouldn't have asked you about what I was up to. The last thing I need is for you to be caught in the middle of this."

I laughed, shocking him, "In the middle of what, Jag?! What's going on?" Tensions had risen between us before when Zekk came back but this, whatever he was hiding was tearing us further and further apart. He said it wasn't my problem but this is my problem if this was the consequence. "Jag, talk to me, please. Tell me what's going on." He walked over and kissed my forehead, holding me close for his own comfort. At least, it was a peaceful gesture. I couldn't stand fighting anymore; it sickened me.

"Remember, when I told you I loved you? I asked you if Zekk meant anything to you and you said he didn't."

I backed away, unsure where this was going. Was he still hung over Zekk and I? Our past together? I nodded yes, inviting him on. He smiled, kissing me again though it was strained. "Sticks, there's something I have to tell you. It's about my dad and I...I'm just sorry I kept it in this long."

We sat down on some crates to talk. I held his hand, unwilling to let it go if I had to. I didn't want to lose him. He was the first guy in a long time that I really cared about. And if I could salvage whatever possible of this relationship, it had to be now. Things were already falling apart around us. I didn't want the same thing to happen to us. "Jag, what is it? What's going on?"

"Jaina, before I came to Coruscant - my father and I had a fight about the war. He wanted to keep the Chiss out of it but I thought differently. I wanted to help; I wanted to take the fleet and offer assistance to the Republic but he was strongly against it. One night, we had our worst fight, spewing harsh words at each other - it left us void of each other. Even my mother cried because things had become so harsh."

"I stole the fleet, saying my dad wanted me to go to Coruscant and assist the Republic. Only, months after he found out, he came here to retrieve me, bring me back to Chiss and the fleet."

I frowned, removing my hand from his, horrified a force more terrible than the Vong would take Jag away from me. I just found Jag, and now I was going to lose him without say. It wasn't fair, and the Baron, how could he do this? Jag and I were so happy. We loved each other and he wanted to take that away from us! I broke down in tears, speechless for words as my head fell on his shoulder. Jag cried himself, holding me tight. "Ssssh. He isn't going to take me away from you, I promise. I'll fight this, for us. I won't let you go."

"You might not have a choice." I cried, "He's your father. You have to obey him."

He scowled, gritting his teeth, "I don't have to do anything. He can't do this! I'm not a boy anymore; he can't control my life." Jag paused, kissing my forehead again, "I won't allow him to destroy us. Jaina, you're the one positive thing in my life. You're my future."

I froze, facing him, wiping away my tears. "Jag, I love you too but I can't come between you and your father. I refuse to be the third guy; the third guy that loses."

"You won't be. Jaina, I never felt at home on Chiss. But here, I can see myself settling down and starting a life with you."

I stopped him, placing a finger on his lips, "...but what about your father? Jag, I don't want to be a problem. Family, it's the only thing that keeps us together. Without them to lean back on, you have nothing. Talk to him; try to work this out. Compromise."

He laughed, standing up, pacing about. Jag ran a hand through his black hair, somewhat comprehending my words. "I don't want to work things out. What was said back there...It can't be taken back."

"Maybe not, but the way things are...I don't want to risk any more pain. I've been through pain and it stung my heart so coldly, I couldn't stand it."

Jag's eyebrow's furrowed, facing me, crossing his arms. And I knew why. Zekk. I had inadvertently told him about what happened between Zekk and I. I didn't mean to; it just came out but I guess better now than later. "I thought you said nothing happened between you two?"

I growled, pushing my hair back. How much I wished at that moment to erase the past. Zekk had hurt me badly, leaving me like that without saying goodbye. Now, I've lost Jag. I know I have. "Jag, listen to me - Zekk and I, it was a long time ago. We were close..."

"You loved him?"

Sithspawn, why is this happening? Everything was so good between us. Why? I don't need any more pain. I've been through pain; it's still a dark memory in my mind but I remember what it was like. "Jag, we were - he was special to me, yes but I didn't love him. I felt an attraction but it wasn't love." I took his hand and kissed it, "but this is love. I love you."

He shrugged, "It still doesn't erase what was, Sticks."

Force why is this happening? Jag, I love him so much and he's condemning me for a past love. It wasn't fair. Everything that happened between us, shared moments seemed to slip away. Everything that was good, suddenly felt like Hell. "The past is finished, Jag. My past, your past - it's something we can't erase. We can't erase it because it makes us who we are. Without it, we would have no future. Jag, please, don't condemn me because I found happiness with someone else before you came along. I didn't even know you existed, and the same with you."

"How can you tell me, just a few days ago you love you, and then punish me for a past that has recently come back to haunt me?"

Jag touched his forehead to mine and sighed, "I'm sorry, Sticks. It's just - my father, the Vong, my responsibility to lead, it's taking a toll on me and it's driving me crazy. This job is driving me crazy." He paused, kissing me. "It's not your fault. I didn't mean to bring up bad memories..."

I smiled hopefully, hugging him. "I know and I understand. It's driving me crazy, too." I kissed him, tears stinging my eyes. "Just promise me you'll talk to him. You need to work this out, and no arguments."

He laughed, kissing my nose. "I don't know what I'd do without you, Sticks. Thank you."

"I know we all have a lot to deal with, but family is the one driving force that keeps us sane. But if you keep this problem between you bottled up inside, it will only get worse and when you decide to fix it, it might not be fixable." I paused, brushing away his bangs and smiled. "Did you mean what you said before? That I'm you're future?"

Jag smiled, kissing me passionately. "I wouldn't have it any other way." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a ring, causing me to worry a bit. "If we get through this war, would you do me the honor of marrying me?"

I froze a ghastly expression my face.

>>TBC

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Jaina's Journal_Entry_8:
Choices

By obi's girl

Marriage.

Sixteen years old, and as for living (no actually surviving this war), the chances...Didn't he realize there was chance of about 1 in a million. Didn't he care? I removed my hand from his standing up, pacing about in a daze. He laughed, causing me to glare back at him. Marriage wasn't funny. It was a serious commitment; a very serious commitment. Life long commitment.

"Jag, think about what you're saying here." I started, trying to phrase my words. "Marriage equals lifelong commitment, total devotion and..."

He smiled, taking my hands in his again, "...And love, which we have."

I shied away from him again, crossing my middle section. He frowned, suddenly realizing my words. Love wasn't enough. It was a good basis but we hardly knew each other. And if we did get married, Wedge would be like my Uncle except I already thought of him as part of the family. He always was. I turned to him and nodded, "Jag, I love you but this is serious. I need time to think about this."

Jag frowned but kissed my forehead anyway, brushing back my bangs. "I understand. And you're right, it is a big decision not to be taken lightly of. Take as much time as you need Sticks. I'll still be here, at least I hope I will."

"That's the thing, Jag and I'm not talking about your father; I'm talking about whether we'll survive this war. More and more core systems are hit everyday, and duty calls. We'll be apart from each other... we won't have time to be together."

He shrugged, silencing me with a kiss I gladly accepted. "Thank you, but a simple kiss isn't going to soothe my fears." I paused, biting my lip. "I mean, my Aunt Mara and Luke knew each other for many years before they realized their feelings for each other."

"And this war will probably takes years, decades even before coming to an armistice. We have time, Sticks but this feeling isn't going away."

I kissed him again, despite my fears, hugging him tight. "I'm just saying marriage is a big step but before we take that step, can we just be in love first? Can't we just be together and not worry about tomorrow?"

Jag looked down at the ring in his hand, scrutinized it before handing it to me. I looked at him, confused a bit. "Keep it then. Keep it with you while you think, and look foreword towards the future, Sticks. The future is all we have." He then removed my dog tag necklace and slid the ring on it. "Just don't keep me waiting forever."

I smiled, kissing his cheek, looking at the silver ring. It had some markings on it. They looked like hieroglyphs. I rested my head in his shoulder, examining the ring. "It's beautiful. What does it mean? The hieroglyphs?"

He pointed to a couple of them and smiled, "This one means forever..." next he pointed to two stick people, holding hands, accented by a sun above their heads. "Forever soul mates, bonded by time and love. A love that will last forever."

I laughed lightly, causing him to smile. "It really is beautiful. Thank you, and I promise to think about it." I kissed him again as my COM link buzzed. I rolled my eyes, backing away as I answered the call. "Yes?"

"Jaina, its Luke. Can you come down by the apartment? There's something Mara and I need to tell you."

I bit my lip, glancing at Jag. He shrugged back as I answered. "We'll be there...Is there something wrong with Aunt Mara?" Luke laughed, the first time I had ever heard him laugh since Mara's illness took effect. Something was going on, but I knew it had nothing to do with the illness. At least I didn't think so.

I held Jag's hand as we walked towards my to Luke and Mara's quarters, bumping into Jacen and Anakin along the way. I smiled at them both as entered. The whole family was there, with the exception of Chewie. I frowned at that thought as I scanned the room for dad. Jacen nudged me, nodding to him in the corner.

"What's this all about?" I asked.

Luke smiled at me, patting Mara's hand lightly before standing up from the bed. "I know we've all been through some rough times, but what we're about to tell you all might brighten some spirits around here." He glanced at me and smiled, nodding to Mara. "We're going to have a baby."

I frowned, glancing at Jag. And I thought contemplating marriage was a big deal. Now, I was going to have a little cousin on the way. It's not that I'm unhappy or anything, it's just everything is happening really fast. Everything's changing, and I'm powerless to stop the change.

Both my brothers' congratulated Mara and Luke, though I was sure they had reservations about the whole thing. Luke glanced at me, waving me over. I let go of Jag's hand and hugged him. "Congratulations, Uncle Luke." I mused, as Jag stepped forward, nodding his congratulations.

"I'll tell my Uncle the news."

Luke smiled, "Thanks, Jag but Mara and I would like to tell him. But if you want to come along, you can since you're family."

I snorted, causing everyone to look at me. Got that right, I thought laughing again. I fingered the chain on my neck, lost in thought after that. If Mara was pregnant and we actually survived the war, and I did accept Jag's proposal it was going to be one Hell of a wedding. Oh no, don't get ahead of yourself Jaina. You told Jag you were going to think about and you will.

I stuck around the apartment for a while, looking at the various frames and pictures. So much had changed over the years. Years ago, Luke and Mara were enemies. She was Palpatine's Hand, sworn to kill him and Luke was, is Darth Vader's son. They fought each other for so long until they gave up and developed a bizarre friendship. And now, Mara was carrying Luke's child.

But the timing was off. Now wasn't the time to start a family in my opinion, because of the Vong and how unsafe the galaxy was. There were no certainties. I'm sure they knew of that but still, something about the occasion made me worry. I frowned, picking up the wedding photo of Luke and Mara. I smiled partly, staring at the two of them as Jacen came up to me from behind.

"Hey."

I glanced at him and smiled, putting the frame back. "Another addition to the family, huh?"

Jacen frowned, crossing his arms. "You don't seem excited. What's wrong?"

I shrugged, glancing at Mara and Luke. They were laughing and talking with my mom and dad, Anakin standing back out of the conversation almost watching from afar. I switched my gaze to Jag. He had remained quiet the entire time. "I am excited." I glanced at Jacen and nodded for him to come closer. "Is now really the time for all of this? I mean, so much is happening with the Vong. It's not safe anymore."

"And we knew that, Jaina." Luke interrupted startling Jacen and I.

I lowered my head, fidgeting. "I'm sorry, Uncle Luke. I know you've wanted a family of your own. Helping mom and dad raise, Jacen, Anakin and I - you wished for a child of your own but the timing..."

"Never seemed to help. I know, Jaina, but that won't stop us this time. But thank you for your concern."

I glanced at Jag. He smiled back at me. "I'm sorry, Uncle Luke...I didn't mean..."

Luke raised is aesthetic hand and placed it on my shoulder, smiling. "Jaina, helping your mother and father raise the three of you helped prepare me for this moment."

I smiled, glancing at my brothers' and Jag. "So, helping mom change diapers and calm our cries in the middle of the night - we taught you patience?"

He laughed, swaying his head. "In a way, yes and because it did, expect baby-sitting calls in the future, Jaina." Luke winked at me as I gazed at Jag and smiled. Maybe the future was going to be bright after all and not the battlefield of death I thought it to be.

>>TBC

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Jaina's Journal_Entry # 10
Fire & Ice

By obi's girl

~~< At the head of a dozen blue-skinned Chiss came a human walking along with a crisp formality to his step. Taller than she was, but not as tall as Ganner, he had a wiry muscularity about him that his black uniform could not hide. His black hair traced the line of a scar that started as his right eyebrow and ran back into his hair. His pale green eyes seemed tinged with a chill that matched his manner. Only the red stripes along his pants legs and cuffing his sleeves seemed at odds with solemnity.

He mounted the dais at a step, leaving the Chiss in their white uniforms to file along the front of the platform and stand at attention. He bowed sharply to the Relal Tawron and shook his hand. The Ithorian high priest turned to introduce him to Borsk Fey'lya, but the Chiss leader bypassed the chief of state and the rest of his cabinet. He marched along until he met Admiral Kre`frey, again executed a stiffly formal bow, and shook hands. He repeated this process with Colonel Darklighter and Luke Skywalker.

As he moved down the line, gasps and hubbub began to rise in the crowd. It increased as he bowed before Wedge, then smiled and allowed the older man to enfold him in a hug. Before Jaina could figure out what was happening there, the Chiss leader greeted Admiral Pellaeon. Ignoring the Remnant moffs, the young man then stepped off the front of the dais.

He's coming straight at me!

He drew himself up before her, straight of limb and muscularity taut, then snapped his head and upper body forward in a bow that was not as deep as that given the others, but was nonetheless respectful. "I am Jagged Fel." He straightened, and she started to blush as his green-eyed gaze raked her over. "A Jedi too. Fascinating."

Jaina blinked. "Too?"

"In addition to being a superior pilot. You are a difficult kill."

She wasn't sure why, but she smiled at him. "You meant that as a compliment."

Jag Fel nodded. "Among the Chiss it is high praise indeed. I was only a bit better than you at your age." >~~

~~< That he was handsome there was no disputing, and the cockiness, which was backed by fantastic skill as a pilot, had its charm. She admired the way he'd stood up to the New Republic politicians - most of whom disgusted her because of the way they treated her mother. Even the Imperial formality was attractive in a quaint sort of way.

I wonder if my mother saw my father that same way?

The second that thought occurred to her she pulled her hand back from Fel's shoulder abruptly. Oh no, I am not going to let myself fall for some guy who thinks grim is the normal state of being. Not the time or place to even be thinking about it. >~~

I smiled, remembering my first encounter with Jag. A hot shot pilot, smooth, mystery - he even bypassed those annoying politicians to meet me. Maybe this was the guy I was supposed to spend the rest of life with? I mean, when I was younger, Zekk never even gave me the time of day, always brushing me aside later when it was convenient to pick up the pieces but Jag, he was different. He wasn't like other guys.

I grabbed the chain around my neck and examined the ring he gave me. Forever.

~~<I smiled, kissing his cheek, looking at the silver ring. It had some markings on it. They looked like hieroglyphs. I rested my head in his shoulder, examining the ring. "It's beautiful. What does it mean? The hieroglyphs?"

He pointed to a couple of them and smiled, "This one means forever..." next he pointed to two stick people, holding hands, accented by a sun above their heads. "Forever soulmates, bonded by time and love. A love that will last forever." >~~

Forever didn't sound that bad. But if I did accept Jag's proposal, it would have been because of the romanticism associated with war. Throughout history, there was always a hero to rescue a damsel in distress and sweep her off her feet, something that didn't happen to Jag and I. Besides, I swept him off his feet, beating him at that sparring match. I laughed at that thought.

But marriage, a life together, a family - was I ready for that? Better question, was Jag ready for that?

I frowned, looking at the other symbols on the ring. Forever. Was it worth it?

Jag huffed, straightening his suit a bit before entering his father's office, the Rogue Squadron lent him while he was staying on Coruscant. He knew this wasn't going to be easy. It wasn't easy the first time around. The painful words they shared before his leaving Chiss...It brought his mother to tears and the last thing he wanted was to hurt her. Jag knocked the door, clearing his throat.

The Baron gazed up from his desk and smiled lightly at Jag as he entered the office. Jag smiled hello at him before sitting down. "I'm glad you came, son. We need to talk."

He nodded, understanding. "I know. This has been going on long enough, and it needs to stop."

Soontir smiled, leaning back on his chair. "I agree. Jag, I know you want to help here, and I commend you for that but we all know this a war no one can win..."

"Wait a minute, It thought you said you agreed me? Now, you're saying there's no hope and we should just give up and surrender to the Vong?"

He nodded no, smiling partially. "Jag, you know you don't belong here. The Chiss and the Republic...for a long time, they were enemies. The Republic looked down on us; Thrawn saw to that."

Jag laughed shocking his father. "But we can change that, dad. It doesn't have to be like the old Days."

"I suppose it's that Jedi gurl, that's twisted your mind."

Oh, that was it! Jag abruptly stood up, scowling deeply, his eyes narrowed on his father. "You keep her out of this! She has nothing to do with my change of attitude."

Soontir raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms, standing up facing Jag. "Believe me, she has allot to deal with your change of attitude."

"I said, keep her out of this! This is between you and me; no scapegoats to blame. Just us."

"You don't belong here. Return home to Chiss." He stated with no emotion, "Stop this before it gets out of hand."

Jag laughed again, "I'm not leaving, but I think maybe you should. If you believe so deeply I don't belong here, that's your opinion. But I do belong here, and I'm not leaving her."

"Jag..."

He nodded, turning on his heel and marching out of the office leaving his father dumbfounded.

Jaina Solo-Fel. Nah! Not hyphenated; it's too complicated. Jaina Solo Fel. That sounds worse. Oh I know, Jaina Fel. That has a night ring to it. Jaina Fel. Mrs. and Mr. Fel. The wife of Jagged Fel. Ooh, that sounds good. No, no, no. Mrs. Jaina Fel. Mrs. Fel.

I know I'm ahead of myself but Jag was right. It could take years before an armistice, or until the Vong finally decide to give up and leave.

No, it's a definite. Jaina Fel, the wife of Colonel Jagged Fel. Now, that sounds really good! Wife of, especially. It gives it more power and emphasis.

"Jag, wait!" Soontir yelled after him as he started down the hall.

Jag turned to him and scowled, crossing his arms as several other pilots exited their rooms to see what the commotion was about. "Go ahead, dad. You have everyone's attention. Tell me how I've made a mistake coming here, in front of everybody!"

"I've already lost one son to war, I won't lose another. You have to understand where I'm coming from, son. And it isn't just me; it's your mother too. Losing your brother made her more protective of you and your sister. She sent me here to talk some sense into you and convince you to come home."

He frowned, glancing at the faces of the many pilots. Thankfully, Jaina wasn't amongst them. Jag gazed back at his father and huffed, "Then tell her she doesn't have to worry. I know how to take care of myself, and I'm not alone. I have family here, and I'll say it again - I'm not leaving Sticks."

Soontir nodded, smiling partly. "I didn't think you would. You've always been stubborn like that." He paused, "You really like this gurl, don't you?"

Jag shrugged, "Let's put it this way, I fell for her. She beat me at a sparring challenge, and pinned me."

"Jag, if you're going to stay here then there's nothing I can do about it. I'm not going to stop you or try to change your mind. That's pretty much pointless but I do ask that you try to separate your feelings and what you know is right."

He smiled back at him, "Thanks, dad." And left, as several of the pilots applauded Jag.

>>TBC

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Jaina’s Journal # 11

Origins

By obi’s girl

Note: and don’t forget to read the adventures of Ana & Owen: New Jedi Knights, which is, ahem, a sequel to Jaina’s Journal. Ana & Owen are Jag and Jaina’s children!

Author’s Note: This chapter deals with Mara and her realization about her past, as she thinks about her own future with Luke and their child. ~~ Remember, Shades of Gray and how unhappy I was with it because I never felt it was finished and needed work? This piece is like that. It deals with Luke and Mara, so I want it to show depth, emotion and lots of drama, you’ll be crying through the whole piece, feeling Mara’s pain.

#2: Hey guys, I’m making a web page with an NJO fic section, so if you want to submit, just let me know. E-mail at obikenobi_gurl@yahoo.com or ewans_lovergurl@hotmail.com . Or if you do fanart, banners, wallpapers or poetry. That would be great too.

Disclaimer: Do we really have to go through this? Everything SW belongs to GL.

Mara Jade Skywalker, former assassin, and apprentice to Emperor Palpatine, walked wearily into the quarters she shared with her husband, Luke Skywalker. Skywalker. Years ago, years that seemed like decades, she was on a mission to kill him and now she was going to have his child. Son or daughter, it didn’t matter.

When they first got engaged, there was a whole lot of controversy surrounding their relationship – mostly because of Mara’s background as a hit woman for Emperor Palpatine. In the beginning, people of the Republic saw her as an enemy even though she conformed to be good. They still saw the murderous assassin except Luke.

He saw more. He saw a lost woman, with troubled past and the potential to become greater than the Emperor imagined. And she did, with his help. But what about her hidden past? Her family, if she had any?

She knew the Emperor probably killed them and forced them to hand her over to him, but who were they? Faces she can never remember, a loving home only a dream. All her life was nothing but a never-ending nightmare until she met Luke. But it still troubled her. She was carrying Luke’s child, their child and yet she knew nothing about her own past to pass on to him or her.

Nothing. Only darkness.

No, it couldn’t be like that! But it was. She had no past, no real memory of a life before Palpatine and it scared her. What would happen if one day her daughter or son questioned her past and she had no answer? Mara fell down onto an armchair, wiping away tears of a lost home. Long ago, Luke told her his family was her family too and would always be her family but that didn’t heal the dark wound in her heart. A yearning for a family she never knew.

She had always been strong, emotionally and physically but this was one thing that she couldn’t push out of her mind or eliminate with a lightsaber. In the past, she tried to look into the Republic archives about her past but always, nothing came up. Who was she? Where was she from? These were questions that would remain forever a mystery, and that was one legacy she didn’t want to leave behind.

<Who am I? > she questioned, resting a hand on her rapidly growing stomach. "I’m sorry, I don’t know where I come from, little one; I’m sorry there’s no legacy of my family I can leave behind for you." Mara breathed, closed her eyes as she lightly massaged her temples.

"Mara?" a voice questioned.

She growled, faintly noticing her the husband’s shadow leaning on the doorframe to their bedroom. She smiled at him, though somewhat fatigued. He walked forward and settled down at her back, massaging her shoulders and neck. "Feel any better, love?"

Mara grunted, glancing up at him. "I wish." She paused, looking blankly around the room. "I just came back from a doctor’s appointment with Doctor Kesh. She said everything is fine and the baby is perfectly healthy, and that the disease has no affect on ---." Mara looked up at him and smiled mischievously, "...Our child whatsoever."

Luke smiled, kneeling down, brushing his hand on her cheek as she kissed it. "You still won’t tell if it’s a boy or girl. You’re evil. " At that, Mara frowned, shying away from him, remembering her earlier thoughts. Luke frowned, looking down, "I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to stir up bad memories..."

"You didn’t, love. I did." She turned to him and smiled wearily, "Thinking about the life we’ll have, reminded me of the life I never had growing up. It wasn’t your fault. The Emperor took me away from my family, whoever they were and asserted himself as my family, my only family." Luke nodded, kissing her forehead as she continued. "When Jacen, Jaina and Anakin were first born, I couldn’t help but feel jealous of Han and Leia because we didn’t have that family of our own."

"And now, do you still feel jealous of my sister and brother-in-law?"

Mara laughed, bringing a smile to Luke’s face. "I don’t, but I still can’t help but wander what was before Palpatine became my only option for survival. I had a life once, Luke. A mother that loved me, and a father to teach me. I must have. But I can’t remember, and it scares me." Tears stung her eyes as they did before and Luke wiped some away, kissing her eyes, hoping to make the pain stop. "A mother, a father, aunts, uncles – siblings even. I don’t know any of them; don’t remember any of them except Palpatine’s face and I hate it."

"I mean, at least you know who your father was and what had become of him but me, I don’t know and I’ll never know. And you know what scares me the most? That one day our son or daughter will ask about my past and I won’t be able to answer them truthfully because I don’t know anything about my origins. All I do know came from the Emperor." She cried, hiding her face in her hands.

Luke made her stand up as he hugged her tight, feeling her pain and anguish. "Ssssh, Mara."

"I can’t, Luke." She stared up at him, tears in her eyes green eyes, "Who am I?" she whispered as he caressed her cheek and neck. "I don’t know; I don’t know anything and I want to, but I can’t."

"Mara, whatever your past, who your parents were – I’m sure they loved you. I know they loved you, and must have fought to keep you away from Palpatine...."

She nodded, clearing her face of her tears, "but it wasn’t enough, obviously." Mara frowned, suddenly realizing something else, "Luke, what if they didn’t know?"

He frowned, completely lost. "What do you mean, Mara?"

"I mean, what if they didn’t know I had the potential to be a Jedi? It is possible they weren’t Jedi at all but common people, or they probably didn’t have anyone in their family line that was Jedi descent."

Luke shrugged, "Probably; I don’t know. But Mara, you can’t keep doing this to yourself; punishing yourself for something you had no control over. You were young; you didn’t have the power to fight Palpatine until you matured."

"That’s just the thing. I was young, innocent, and oblivious to evil and he made me into a monster!" she paused, regaining some composure. "When I contracted this disease, my one worry was that I’d never be able to bear children, our children and I’m pregnant with our first I can’t help but remember my family, the family I never knew."

"You have Leia, Han, your nephews’ and Jaina but me – I don’t have anything to remember about my childhood. Nothing, except darkness, a darkness that will always haunt my dreams." She shrugged, "I guess in the end, it’s all about my legacy; what I’ll leave behind when I ---." She paused, catching a glimpse of Luke’s face.

Death was one thing, they both tried not to think about, especially Luke. Again, she choked back a cry as she raised her chin proudly, pushing back all her fears. "I’m sorry." She whispered.

Luke gazed up at her and smiled hopefully, "Don’t be, Mara. You have nothing to be sorry for. A son, a daughter – it doesn’t matter to me because there will be some part of you for him or her to carry on."

She smiled, lightly touching his cheek as he kissed her hand. "And I’m glad there is some legacy to live on, Luke. I wouldn’t want you to end up alone with nothing left of me with you."

"But you still worry about your past, where you’re from?"

"I do. I won’t deny that but I think I can focus on the here and now for the mean time. The Emperor was my life for a long time, Luke. I depended on him; I forgot about everything else that used to be. My parents, my family – whoever they were, I didn’t care because all I needed came from Him. I don’t want to look back on the past, my beginnings, and the only thing I can remember his face. I had a life before, I know I did. "

Luke nodded, kissing her nose as she drew him closer, encircling her arms around his back and kissed him deeply. "Maybe if Kenobi or Master Yoda had lived longer, I would be able to ask all these questions and perhaps have an answer to my past. But I’m alone. I’m alone in this dark place, forever in my memory and its scary."

"You’re not alone, Mara."

She laughed credulously, escaping his arms again and paced about. "I’ve always been alone, Luke. I know the feeling. And right now, without any ties to my past, I feel more alone than ever. So don’t tell me I’m not alone!"

Moodswing.

"I just wish I had some answers; they don’t have to be allot. Just something to hold onto. Who my parents were, if I had any relatives.... It doesn’t matter. I just want answers. I just wish...I just wish my mother was here to hold me."

Luke walked over and held Mara again in his arms and kissed her cheek, "I’m sure whoever she was, she was probably a lot like you. The same slyness, graceful, killer eyes...A rancor on the prowl." He paused and kissed her shoulder, "I wish I had all the answers for you, Mara but I don’t. I wish I could remove this dark place in your heart...Give back to you the life you never had..."

She kissed his cheek and smiled, "I know; I wish you could too, Luke. But this is a fight I have to deal with on my own." Mara paused, lightly huffing, "I love you, Luke – so much you have no idea, and this child, our child but my past, who I was I’ll always wander about it but I won’t let that consume me or drive me crazy. I’m a fighter, like it or not but I am foremost your wife, carrying your son or daughter. I’ll worry about that, and what will happen to us in the future and not my past."

Luke kissed her nose and smiled, brushing his face with hers. "We can’t ever forget our pasts, Mara; even the ones we don’t remember ‘cause it makes us who we are, who you are."

"Then who am I?" she whispered.

He smiled and kissed her cheek and neck. "You’re Mara Jade Skywalker, my wife, Jedi Master, independent woman, stubborn on occasion, and mentor to my niece – but above all, you’re Mara."

Mara sighed, entwining her hands with his. "I’ve been Mara for so long, I don’t know how to be anyone else or what I used to be, whatever that was, or whoever it was." She paused and kissed his hand, sending a thrill down Luke’s spine. "I’m not stubborn."

Luke laughed, holding her closer. "I said on occasion; I didn’t say all the time." He brushed her red-blonde hair with his aesthetic hand and smiled. "Don’t be anyone else, Mara. You’re you; the Mara I love." She smiled, twirling herself around in his arms so her back was to him. "I wouldn’t have you any other way." He whispered, kissing her neck.

"Hmm. You get like this all the time, I might end up getting pregnant on a daily basis." She laughed, causing Luke to smile.

"That wouldn’t be a bad thing, Mara. The more the merrier..." he mused, kissing her hand.

Mara frowned a bit, realizing something, "Of course, if this happens again – we’ll have to abstain from ‘you know what’ until the little ones get bigger."

Luke huffed, dropping his head on her right shoulder. "You drive a hard bargain, Mara but if it means having three of five children, I think I can deal with that."

She turned to him and kissed him fiercely before abruptly letting go. "You sure about that? Three or five children?"

He shrugged, "If we lived on Yavin, there would be no problem looking for baby-sitters – more time for us to be alone, and working on that family thing we always wanted."

"Getting a little ahead of ourselves, aren’t we?" she raised an eyebrow and smiled. Mara grabbed hold on his hand and kissed his palm. "Let’s just get through child one first...and then the war. I don’t want to put our child’s life in danger."

He smiled, "Already thinking like a mother?"

Mara shrugged, "Better now than later. It’s fine with me." She smiled mischievously again, "but I think you should keep some Jedi wisdom and patience. You’re going to need it the next few months dealing with me."

Luke smiled touching his cheek with hers, feeling their bond strengthen even extend to their child. Their child, their future, and whatever else the Force had in store for them. "I think I can handle that." He whispered as he picked her up and carried her into their bedroom and shut the door.

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Jaina’s Journal_Entry 12

No Waiting for Tomorrow

By obi’s girl

I was bound to leave the officer’s lounge when Jag showed up; I smiled hello at him as he swept me up in his arms and kissed me. Obviously, the talk with his father went well or they broke some common ground. I kissed him back, my arms around his neck. "Hmm. That was a nice surprise. What happened?"

He shrugged back, "There was screaming for a time but we came to an understanding. I’m staying, Sticks. I’m not going anywhere."

"Jag, that’s wonderful!" I cried, hugging him back. "So, what do we do now?" Jag kissed me again before letting me down from his arms though I didn’t mind him holding me for a while.

"I really don’t know; there’s the Vong but I’d really like to focus on us."

I smiled back, settling down in a chair as he pulled up another, still smiling.

It was strange. When I first met him, he was always stoic and quiet but now, he was different. I pulled him out his shell and made him realize his humanity, and that he actually could have a sense of humor and smile every once in awhile. I did that.

"Actually, about us – I did some thinking while you were talking with your dad. About your proposal, I thought about it and one thing always came to mind, there are no definites, no tomorrow. We don’t know what’s going to happen months from now, or if we’ll even survive sanity." I paused, smiling at him again, "So, I guess what I’m trying to say is ‘Yes.’ Yes."

Jag leaned forward and kissed me as I removed the chain from my neck and opened the clasp, slipping off the ring. He took it in his hand and smiled, sliding it on my finger. He kissed me again, taking in my last words. "You’re right, Sticks. We can’t wait for tomorrow or what the next few months will bring."

"Now, all we have to do is tell my family, and your Uncle. How do ya think they’ll react?"

He shrugged as I stood up from the chair and sat in his lap. "I don’t know, but however it turns out, it doesn’t matter as long you’re here in my life."

I laughed, kissing his cheek, whispering, "That better not be the cocky pilot in you, otherwise I would be furious."

"It isn’t. It’s the human side of me, the human side you brought in me." Jag smiled, staring at me and grinned, "You did. Before I met you, I was impassive all the time with the exception of my boldness."

I smiled, remembering our first meeting. His eyes raked me over which caused me to blush partially. "I remember, but remember this, you were born human Jagged Fel even though you were raised Chiss. It was always in you; I just awakened it."

"True, but you made me realize some things about my life. Things that were missing, and to never say no to a challenge."

"Hmm, but sometimes it is a good idea to..." I mused, remembering Corran’s confrontation with Deign Ling.

Jag frowned, noticing my contemplation. "Sorry, I didn’t mean to bring back bad memories."

I nodded, kissing his cheek again. "It wasn’t you. I was just remembering an old friend of my Uncles’. Corran Horn. Heard of him?"

"Unfortunately, yes. Those politicians, they didn’t see what he was trying do. All they saw was that he guaranteed the destruction of a planet. What about the people that was evacuated? He saved them."

"I know, but it’s politicians like Borsk Fey’lya that refuse to see things for what they really are.... No, you know what? I don’t want to talk about politics. This is our moment. It shouldn’t be shared with those guys."

Jag smiled again and as he was about to kiss me again, his COMlink interrupted us; mine included. We both moaned, as he pulled his, scowling partly. "Colonel Fel, reporting."

~<Jag, it’s Gavin Darklighter? Is Lieutenant Solo with you? > ~

I laughed, snatching the COM link from him. "Very funny, Colonel. What is it?"

~<Just a guess, Sticks. Since you’re both together, could the two of you come down to the briefing room? We’re going to work out alternate patrols. > ~

I glanced at Jag but he only shrugged, unsure what Gavin had planned. "Of course. We’ll be down there right away." I concluded, handing Jag his COMlink as he attached it back on his belt. "Duty calls, again."

"Both of us?"

I shrugged, standing from the table. "Maybe it’s a crossover; Chiss and Rogue Squadron working together." I took Jag’s arm as we both walked out of the lounge, missing a silent Zekk in the shadows, watching us leave.

Jacen! What was my brother doing here? He wasn’t military. Jag saw my worry and shrugged, let go of my arm and walked over to Wedge and Gavin. I nudged Jacen but he only shrugged as I glanced at Gavin, Wedge and Jag. Jag nodded to his Uncle, understanding the plan before the three of them were ready to begin. "Baron Fel talked with Counselor Fey’lya, regarding our resources and he came to a decision." Gavin stared, nodding to Jag. The younger man didn’t say anything, except remain impassive as always. You can take the human out a Chiss, but you can’t take the Chiss out of a human.

"He proposed we make the Squadron a mixed Squadron; the Chiss will be working with us full time now. Jag will coordinate runs and sims, but that’s not all." He raised a finger and gestured for Jacen to step forward. "Jacen Solo has volunteered to assist us."

I frowned, grinding my teeth. I knew Jacen hadn’t been using the Force lately, and had fallen behind but working for military full time? Jace saw my panic and lowered his profile. I raised my hand, biting my lip. "Sorry Colonel, but can I say something?"

<Don’t lose it, Jaina. Don’t lose it. > Jacen warned.

"Speaking as your sister, Jacen, why are you doing this? Uncle Luke needs you; or dad does. The point, I don’t need a baby-sitter watching my back."

He nodded, retorting, "This isn’t about you. It’s about me, and I won’t get in your way so don’t worry about it."

Jag stepped up, anxious to move things along and prevent a sibling argument. "We’ll work sims first in pairs; top shot pilots against rookies, then we’ll mix things around." He lowered his voice, gazing at me. "Sticks, can I talk to you in private?"

I huffed as several of my squad mates "Ooo’d.’ I rolled my eyes; it was cute before but now it was annoying. Gavin and Wedge took care of the rest as I talked to Jag in private. "What is it?"

"I’m putting you up last for sims...." I was about to rebuke but allowed him to continue. "You’re really good; the best pilot in the squadron and that’s why I need your help here. And one more thing – don’t give your brother a hard time. No matter what you think, he isn’t here to keep an eye on you. Keep focused."

"All right. So if I’m going last, what will I do until then?"

He shrugged, smiling cockeyed. "I could use some help judging the pilots. Care to join me?"

I blushed, glancing at Gavin and Wedge then looked back at Jag. "You got it, but I have to warn you, I can get brutal sometimes."

Jag swayed his head, countering, "So can I."

>>TBC

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Jaina’s Journal_Entry 13

Intervention

By obi’s girl

The whole time I spent, critiquing and advising Jag I couldn’t stop thinking about my brother and his path as a Jedi Knight. It worried me, as I was sure it worried my Uncle. That was another thing. Did Luke know Jacen was on Coruscant and a new member of the Rogue Squadron? I bit my lip, lost in thought as two pilots crawled into the simulator. Jag saw me and waved the two pilots down, calling break. "Hey Sticks, what’s going on in that head of yours?"

I shrugged back, smiling a bit, "My brother. And what’s going on with him he would give up being a Jedi altogether."

Jag raised an eyebrow and placed a comforting arm around my shoulder. "And you weren’t thinking of doing the same thing?"

"I was but this is different. I’m still going to use the Force when I fly to help others but he’s shutting himself off completely." I huffed, scanning around for Jacen but didn’t see him. He was probably around somewhere else.

"Go and look for him. I can handle things here by myself. My Uncle and Gavin are up in their office; I can call them down to help judge the pilots. Look for your brother."

I smiled, leaned over and kissed them and head out.

I found Jacen alone in the lounge, staring at the many stars. He was quiet, reserved (completely different than how he was an hour ago). His tone earlier when I talked to him; he seemed edgy, almost irritated. I huffed, walking near, brushing some loose hairs away from my face. Jacen nodded, causing me to freeze in place. He knew I was there and obviously didn’t feel like talking but I did. What was happening to him scared me. "Jacen, I know you don’t want to talk to me..."

"It isn’t you, Jaina. It’s me." He smiled over at me and continued, "I’m still debating on the balance point between using the Force as an alley and when it becomes aggression."

I shrugged, nodding to the many stars. "Have you talked to Uncle Luke?"

"We talked briefly, only it more like a debate than talking."

I smiled slightly, "Much like when you and Anakin talk." Jacen turned to me and sat down, taking a sip from some caf he got for himself. I sat down across from him and smiled, shrugging a bit. "So, why are you here?"

Jacen gazed up and leaned back some on the chair. "Figure I could learn from you; what’s it like to rely on others instead of relying on the Force, like normal Jedi."

"Except I do rely on the Force, Jacen just not as much as you or Anakin do. I’m a pilot; I have to trust my instincts. Look beyond the moment and figure situations with possible solutions." I paused, playing with some loose strands of hair, "It’s times like this you kinda wish we had Jedi from the Old Order around to guide us, huh?"

He laughed, smirking some. "I guess it would be interesting to know Master Yoda’s view on what I’m doing."

I frowned, stopped playing with my hair and looked at my brother. "Jacen, you’re a Jedi. It’s in our blood to be what we are, even if we don’t use the Force but you’re right. There is a limit, a borderline between what’s right and what’s wrong."

"I just wish I knew what that borderline was, Jaina." He paused, trying to think of a metaphor. "It’s like when you’re flying; you don’t use scopes unless you have to. Me, I don’t have a scope to guide me."

I shrugged, "Then use the second best thing: your conscious. But I never use scopes; they’re too cumbersome." He laughed, looking once again at the stars. I stared at him and smiled ‘cause whatever the outcome of the war, things were definitely going to change...and that necessarily wasn’t a bad thing.

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Jaina’s Journal_Entry #14

Lover’s Walk

By obi’s girl

Summary: This is the big one people. Zekk tells Jaina’s the three words she doesn’t want to hear from him and why he came back, besides to fight the Vong. And more!

After Jacen and I sat talking for about half an hour, he left me alone to my thoughts. I didn’t tell him about Jag’s proposal, or that I accepted. Now wasn’t the time for that. If I was going to tell, I wanted everyone to be there. I fingered the ring on my chain and smiled, looking at the two stick figures on it. Forever.

That used to be a bad thing, when I was younger. Zekk had caused me so much heartache but not anymore. Jag was different and this time, things would be different. I knew they would. They had to be. I dropped the ring, faintly hearing someone enter the lounge. I started for my sabre but then remembered the ‘no weapons’ in the lounge for safety purposes and eased up.

"Hello?"

Zekk stepped out from the darkness, causing me to scowl and release my hand from my sabre. I rolled my eyes, ignoring him completely as I did before but it didn’t work. He didn’t leave. He just stood there, looking at the many stars. I turned to him, a bit more than irritated, "I’m sorry, but is there a reason you decided to annoy me again when I pointedly told you before to leave me alone? Or are you just deaf?"

He shrugged, "I need to talk to you, Jaina. It’s about why I came back..."

I rolled my eyes, abruptly standing up and turning to leave. "Whatever you have to say, Zekk, I don’t want to hear it. You had your chance to explain why you left before you actually left."

"I didn’t tell you because I didn’t know what I was going to do; or end up."

I laughed, brushing my hair away from my face. "And now you want a clean slate? Forget it. Forget us, because there is no ‘us.’ You decided that when you left me, and cut me out of your life!"

Zekk shrugged, crossing his arms. "I accept that. But you still deserve to know why I came back, now and I have to warn you, the Vong aren’t the only reason. That was coincidental."

"I can’t believe this! You’re going to tell me you decided to show out of nowhere because you want to start over? Sorry Zekk, but you’re a couple years late, and if you haven’t noticed I’ve found someone."

"I noticed, and I accept that. I didn’t expect you to wait around for me to show up one day." He mused, glancing up at me.

Why did we have to get into this now? Why did he have to come back now? I did wait for him but the longer I waited, the less hope I had he would come back. But I wasn’t about to admit that to him. "I have to go, now." And started for the door, but three words escaped his mouth I thought I’d never hear and it stung my heart.

I love you.

I turned back to him and scowled, nodding furiously, "You DID NOT just say that to me?!" He nodded yes, and I threw up my arms, wanting to pull out my hair. Correction, pull out his hair and smack some sort of bondage on his mouth. "Why are doing this to me Zekk? I have a life. I’m in love with someone else, and yes that someone else is Jag; not you."

"Jaina, I can’t stop this feeling inside of me. I love you."

"Sithspawn Zekk! I don’t love you." I paused, grinding my teeth. "Take it back. Take it back, NOW!"

He nodded no, walking closer to me though I backed up some. I didn’t want him touching me or anywhere near me. "Jaina, it’s the truth. I love you." He whispered.

I raised my hands and put them over my ears, trying to block him out. I couldn’t deal with this right now. "STOP IT! Stop it, Zekk! Take it back!"

"I’m not taking it back, Jaina." I rolled my eyes and removed my hands from my ears, glaring back at him. Zekk leaned on his right foot as he continued, "I came back because of you. I thought maybe we could..."

"What? Be together and start all over? I told you. You’re a bit late for that." I cried, my voice wavering. "Jag and I...I love him and we’re engaged." There. That had to have hurt some. Zekk’s face was indifferent but I knew despite this, he was thinking; thinking of a way to rebuke what I said.

Only, I hadn’t anticipated what he would do next. He pulled me into his arms and kissed me. I pushed him away, disgusted he would go this far. He wiped my mouth, glaring back at with disbelief. "Well, now you have two things to take back, now don’t you?" I spat.

I wiped my mouth some more before abruptly walking out on him, stumbling over Jag who had come to look for me. Sithspawn! "Jag, what are you doing here?"

"I came to look for you. Jacen came back. He said you wanted to be alone but I thought I’d stop and surprise you." He smiled. I rolled my eyes, still feeling Zekk’s lips on mine. I pulled Jag into a passionate kiss. His arms snaked around my back as Zekk left the lounge unnoticed. He stopped briefly and looked back at us but I waved him away, and he left. I let go of Jag and smiled. He smiled back at me, arms still around my back. "Well, that was a nice hello."

I cleared my throat, smiling mischievously, "We aren’t needed right now are we? Cause I was thinking we could be alone for a few moments." And to help me get my mind of Zekk. I didn’t need his emotions right now. I didn’t want him back in my life, and telling me ‘I love you’. It was too late for us, but even that wasn’t going to convince him. I knew that.

"I could spare some minutes. Something bothering you?"

I frowned, nodding back to the lounge. We walked in and sat down on one of the corner couches. "I just want to sit here with you in silence. So much has been going on..."

He kissed my head and smiled, wrapping his arms around my waist. "I understand." I snuggled his neck, my mind racing. What was I going to do about Zekk? And if he ever confronted Jag? No! That couldn’t happen. I couldn’t lose Jag. He’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I wasn’t about to lose him. I couldn’t.

Jacen Solo sat solemnly at the table, oblivious to the many pilots exiting the sim and entering. His conversation with his sister earlier made him think about some things. Theoretically, he wasn’t evil by nature. And he had never done anything to harm or hurt anyone. He saved Danni Quee from the Vong, and she was grateful to him for that. A smile twitched his lips, thinking about the young doctor. Danni Quee. She was beautiful and talented in the Force, something she never knew until the Vong surfaced. His smile grew even wider, remembering the time after he rescued her.

~~<Leaving him [Jacen] feel quite naked, and leaving him, as Danni likewise released her mask and cloaker, wearing no more than a tiny loose-fitting shift.

Above the level of tension, Jacen noted that his companion’s shoulders bobbed with sobs.

"We’re out now," he said to her softly, and then he looked at her, really, looked at her, and nearly lost his breath at the beauty he saw there. In truth, Danni was a mess, with bruises on her face and her curly blonde hair matted and ragged. But Jacen didn’t see any of that as he looked hard and for the first time into her green eyes, into the pain he saw there, both vulnerability and inner strength, as he stared into her mind and her spirit, remembering that she, and not Miko Reglia, had been the one to put out the telepathic call, though she was not a Jedi Knight.

She could be, Jacen realized then and there, and a great one at that.

He was conscious, too, of the press of their scantily clothed bodies together with the confines of the small stylus ship.

"You’re safe now," he said, his voice barely a whisper, and he worked his hand up from his side, take care as to where it brushed then brought his fingers gently against Danni’s cheek.

"Miko," the woman said quietly.

Jacen nodded that he understood---about Miko and about the ordeal this woman had apparently suffered on that cold planet. He dared to bring his hand around the back of her head, his fingers sliding into her thick stock of hair, and he pulled her close.

Danni didn’t resist. She buried her face in Jacen’s strong shoulder and allowed the tears to flow. >~~

Though she was special, she was afraid of the power inside of her and was unsure of her path. She had experienced fear first hand under the Vong, and the fear of other people while on Duro. Before he left Yavin, he talked to Danni one last time. They laughed and shared meaningful words of wisdom. He even hugged her and smelled her hair. How sweet she smelled. He didn’t want to let her go. Jacen wanted to stay in her arms forever and tell her all the things he had kept hidden and safe. She smiled, letting go and kissed his cheek for luck then he left Yavin and her.

But oh, that moment would stay with him forever. The way she looked; blonde hair flowing around her shoulders. Her sweet green eyes and innocent face. He still dreamed about her; and the more he dreamed the more he wished he could experience the real thing. Dreamed of the day, some day, she would return his feelings and experience that first kiss.

What the Force had install for Jacen and Danni, he didn’t know but he certainly hoped she was in his future somewhere.

Zekk walked somberly through the Squadron apartments, trying to piece together his feelings. He just told Jaina he loved her and she rebuffed him. She even went as far as to tell him she was engaged to Jagged Fel but he knew that was impossible, or was it? No, it was impossible. He knew she loved him but engaged? She probably just said that to hurt him, make him realize there was no future. There was no point in going back. But Zekk didn’t think like that; he didn’t believe that.

He couldn’t just walk away from Jaina. He refused to hurt her another time. She was the reason he came back; he didn’t want her to hurt any more than she should. She didn’t deserve that, and no matter what, he was going to fight her. He was going to fight Jagged Fel for her, and he was going to win. He had to win; there was no other option.

He stopped, glancing at the door he stopped in front of her. The plaque read Lieutenant Jaina Solo, and there was a small COM pad on the side of the door for messages in case she wasn’t in. Zekk looked around for anyone then knelt down and typed in a message:

Dear Jaina,

I know you said you didn’t want me back, and that you don’t want me here at all but I’m not leaving you. I’m not leaving you ever again. I’m going to fight for you. I meant what I said in the lounge. I love you, I really do and I’m not giving up on us even though you have, a long time ago.

Jaina, the years I was gone and lost, you were the one constant in my life. Whenever there was darkness, you were my light. I didn’t know where I was going but I did know, no matter what, as long I saw your face in my dreams I was safe.

I want to be safe again, Jaina. I want to see your face and see you smile again. I want you. Come back to me and forget everything. I love you, Jaina. I will always love you.

~~ Zekk ~~

>>TBC

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Jaina’s Journal_Entry_15

"Complications"

By obi’s girl

The moments I stayed with Jag in the lounge, my mind couldn’t stop thinking about what I was going to do about Zekk. He told me he loved me and I angrily demanded he take it back but refused to. I couldn’t deal with this. One man was enough for me, why did Zekk have to come back into my life? It wasn’t fair. None of this was this fair. And I knew he didn’t plan on leaving anytime soon. He’d probably stick around as long as possible, his eyes on every minute...

Years earlier, I would have been happy to have back. He was the love of my life, but that title now belonged to Jag. It will always belong to him in my opinion. Complications. Jagged Fel, current love, leader of the Chiss Squadron, excellent pilot, really sweet, handsome. Zekk, former love, Jedi Knight, shunned me out of his life, constantly pushed me away and picked up the pieces whenever convenient. Zekk - stubborn, persistent, annoying, a shadow, mysterious.

You would think it’s a no brainier but it’s a lot more complicated than that. With one complication, there’s another right around the corner. Jag smiled and kissed my forehead, causing me to look at him and smile. "Hey, where were you?"

I frowned, shrugging, "What do you mean?"

"I mean just now. You seemed a bit distracted. Is something wrong?"

I huffed, pushing my feelings out of my mind. "I just have a lot on my mind. Nothing big. Nothing you need to worry about"

Jag leaned forward and took my left hand in his and smiled, "You know, if anything is wrong, you can tell me about it."

I smiled hopefully, "I know I can, Jag but this is something I have to deal with on my own, without your interference." I kissed his cheek, my arms wrapping around his neck.

"Wish I could help, Sticks, but just remember what I said. You can always talk to me; whatever the problem we can work it out together."

I brushed a hair away from his face and smirked, "I know, and thank you. I am so lucky to have you." I kissed his cheek as once again, my COM buzzed. I frowned, picking it up, "Yes?"

~~<Sticks? Where are you? Jag said he would return with you as soon as he found you. > ~~

I recognized that voice; it didn’t belong to Wedge or Gavin; some one else but with great authority. I glanced over at Jag and he shrugged. I cleared my throat, "Sir, sorry, who is this?"

The man chuckled a bit before answering, ~~<Get down here, Sticks and bring Colonel Fel with you, if he’s there. > ~~

I glanced one more time at Jag before we both stood up and left the lounge.

After all that had happened, I wasn’t ready for another surprise. Zekk’s proclaiming he loved me just about soured my mood for anything else. Jag, however didn’t see Zekk in the lounge before he saw me which was a comfort. Zekk seemed to move about in shadows; I never really knew when he was around until he made his presence known --- and most of the time I didn’t even want him around. But one thing was for sure – if I saw Zekk again, I was going to loose it.

Jag glanced at me and smiled, as we both entered the simulation room. Wedge and Gavin were standing by the same table Jag and I sat at to evaluate pilots. I didn’t see Jacen anywhere, which meant maybe he took my advice and returned to Yavin or just decided to be scarce. Both men dismissed the pilots as we neared the table; this time there was a third man standing in the back and it wasn’t the Baron. I really didn’t like this.

"Something wrong, Uncle?" Jag mused, as I shyly stood back and huffed.

Wedge nodded, gesturing the mystery man come forward, "Jag, this is Tycho Celchu." He turned back to me, "Jacen left awhile ago to return to Yavin. Whatever you said to him, I guess changed his mind."

I shrugged, "I guess." Now if I could only get Zekk to change his mind that would be a miracle! "Are you staying long?" My question wad directed towards Celchu.

"I don’t know." He turned back to Wedge and the Corellian nodded, "Awhile, and oh, congratulations for making the Squadron. It wouldn’t be complete without a Skywalker in a the crew."

"Thanks." I mused, glancing at Jag. We left them alone, sitting on the steps on the simulator. It looked like everyone was taking a break; Chiss included although I didn’t really know what Chiss did on breaks. I faced Jag again and smiled.

He swayed his head, leaning back some, "Hey, you okay? You seem a bit distracted, lost."

I nodded no, still smiling, "Remember Zekk? The Jedi you met on Yavin? He’s here; he’s been here awhile though I’ve repeatedly told him to get lost. He’s refused, deciding to stick around for awhile."

Jag’s face-hardened and I knew he was jealous, suspicious even of my connection to Zekk. "Has he been bothering you?"

"He’s stubborn; very stubborn --- I don’t know what to do about him. He won’t leave me alone and he’s not going to leave Coruscant anytime soon." I shrugged again, leaning against him, "He’s just driving me crazy! It’s frustrating."

Fel raised his hand and rubbed his chin, "Does he know about us? I mean, does he know I ---."

I bit my lip, wishing I had kept my mouth shut but he drove me to say something I knew I’d regret. "He knows but I don’t think he believes me. I was angry; I said it to hurt him – which did work by the way but it didn’t change his mind about me." I gazed at Jag, holding his hand, "Just promise me you won’t talk to him or confront him. I need to deal with this on my own."

"Except you’ve dealt with this on your own, Sticks. We’re a team; if he hurts you – I want to know about it so I can back you up."

I smiled hopefully, "I know but right now, he’s not your biggest fan."

Jag nodded, glancing at his Uncle, Gavin and Tycho. The Squadron, Chiss included were there – it was perfect. He grabbed my hand, forcing me to stand up after him as he cleared his throat. I was about to ask Jag what he was up too but I knew. Oh Sithspawn! Now was not the time for this, Jag. He smiled, clearing his throat as I started to shy away but he held my hand.

"Jag, wait! Do we have to do this now? Wouldn’t you rather wait? I know I would like too. My parents, half of my family aren’t here." I even raised my hand and waved it in front of him but he frowned, confused then turned his attention back to the surrounding pilots. Sithspawn!

"What is this, Jag?" Wedge asked, crossing his arms.

I scowled, really not ready for this. I already had a lot to deal with. Why now? Why couldn’t he wait until later? "Jag, no really, now isn’t the time."

Again, he bent down and kissed my cheek, smiled then continued, "I have announcement to make, regarding Lieutenant Solo and I..." Maybe if I faked a vision, or something but it was too late. "Jaina and I are engaged."

Mother of Sith! I am in true Hell! Everybody applauded us; Wedge stepped forward and hugged Jag, then me, smiling congratulations. By noon today, it will be all over the HoloNet and I’ll be screwed. I love Jag, I do but now wasn’t the proper time to announce our engagement. For one, I would rather have Zekk halfway across the galaxy, even in Vong hands – as long as he was far away from Jag and I. But it was too late, far too late.

"Jaina?" some one asked. I turned to Gavin and Wedge, smiling hopefully though deep down, I knew this was just the beginning to an endless spiral of chaos.

Weakly, I found my voice and answered, "Yes?"

Wedge frowned, "Sticks, you all right? You don’t look so good."

Blame that on your nephew, Wedge! I’m not ready for this. I’m not ready for any of this. I nodded, letting go of Jag, "I just need some air." Jag faced me and he could tell why I was freaked. He knew it wasn’t the perfect timing to announce the engagement; but he did it anyway, probably to shove it in Zekk’s face. And now it would be shoved in his face big-time (something I liked) but not like this. "Jag, could we leave? I need to talk to you in private."

He nodded, chauffeuring me towards the door, the pilots – both Chiss and human were oblivious to us leaving except Gavin and Wedge.

I waited until we were in the turbo lift and out of sight from anyone else, to talk with Jag. I knew why he was doing this, but I wanted to hear it from Jag. I leaned against the wall of the lift, reminding myself to stay calm. "Jag, why --- I thought we agreed to announce this when the time was right?"

Jag stared back at me and shrugged, "And when would the timing be right, Sticks? When Zekk steals you from me before I even have the chance to make you mine?"

Make me his? A little possessive aren’t we? Of course, I didn’t except anything less. He is still human and a male and they always have to be like that. It’s one of their flaws. Except I never expected it in Jag. He was perfect like that, understanding and un-emotional, well at least before he met me. "Jag, what are you trying to prove? I told you I would deal with Zekk on my terms; why can’t you accept that?"

"I can’t, Jaina. I’m sorry; I just can’t. The past, the history – you two have a history, even if you haven’t admitted to it I can tell. The way this guy is always around you and managed to push your buttons. I just don’t understand why you didn’t tell me from the beginning? Or were you hoping I wouldn’t figure it out?"

I nodded, feeling myself angrier with him, but understanding his anger. "I didn’t tell you because I wasn’t expecting Zekk to show up again in my life. You knew we were close ---."

He waved his hand, cutting me off, "That I knew; but your feelings I didn’t know. Jaina, I don’t want to lose you to him. You’re special to me. These feelings inside of me, I never knew they were there until I met you."

I nodded, pushing off the wall and took his hands in mine, "You won’t lose me, Jag. You’ll never lose but you have to allow me to fight my own battles. I can’t always have you as my wingman – though sometimes I want you to be." I smiled, kissing his cheek, "Tell you what, if this thing with Zekk annoys the Sith out of me, you can yell at him all you want."

Jag laughed, hugging me tight in his arms and kissed my forehead, "I never want to lose you, Sticks. No one’s been able to bring out the human side of me before. I like it."

"I like it too and you won’t lose me." I concluded as the lift doors swooshed open to the apartments. I took Jag’s hand in mine and we walked out, towards my quarters. I smiled him but quickly frowned again when I saw the message on my COM pad. It was from Zekk. Jag saw it too but didn’t say anything. I gulped, reading it silently to myself.

Dear Jaina,

I want to be safe again, Jaina. I want to see your face and see you smile again. I want you. Come back to me and forget everything. I love you, Jaina. I will always love you.

~~ Zekk ~~

I cringed, looking back at Jag. His face was stone, his eyes were glazed; I didn’t have to read him through the Force to know he was upset. No, past upset – he was furious. He turned on his heel and walked down the opposite hall. I glared back at the message then hurriedly ran down after him. "Jag, wait! Jag?!"

He didn’t even turn to face me, as he continued down the hall and entered the turbo lift and disappeared.

I erased the message, then immediately asked the computer where Zekk was located. The lounge. This had gone far enough; I wasn’t going to let him ruin my relationship with Jag any further beyond repair. This has to end now!

>>TBC

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Jaina’s Journal_Entry_16

"Possession"

By obi’s girl

Zekk smiled sensing my presence as I entered the lounge. He turned around as I stomped up to him and slapped his face, causing a dark scowl. If there was a scale for how angry I was, it had to be past deadly, tipping towards Sith-like and right now, I felt like one. How could he do this to me? He said he didn’t want to hurt but he hurt me in the worst possible way and if he expected forgiveness, obviously, Zekk didn’t know that well as he thought he had. "What in Sith is the matter with you, Zekk? Why are you doing this to me? Why are you hurting me?!"

He nodded, looking away, taking a sip of his caf, "You don’t belong with him, Jaina. He doesn’t deserve you."

"He does; he deserves me more than you do. A lot more and I do love him; and I meant what I said before – we are engaged."

Zekk huffed, facing me again, "You don’t have a history; we do."

"True, but Jag and I can still have a future; from that we can look back and remember our past." I shouted, closing my eyes, calming my nerves though they were at the boiling point. "Zekk, there is no more us. Why don’t you see that? ‘Us’ died when you left Yavin. Zekk, please, I’m begging you, leave. You said you didn’t want to hurt me; you’re hurting me now by staying here. You have to understand that."

He shrugged his face calmer than before. "What I don’t understand is why you would even consider him as your life-long mate."

"Because he understands me; he’s good to me. He makes me laugh; I make him laugh. We challenge each other to let the other know we care; I feel good when I’m around him. It’s like the world around us doesn’t matter anymore and nothing can touch us." I paused, gazing at Zekk. He remained quiet, and less tense. I was reaching him. "This feeling inside of me – I love him so much, if I let go it might kill me. I thought after you, I would never find anyone else but I have, and I am grateful for every day I have with Jag. I’m grateful because I know it might be our last. I love him, Zekk. I love him so much it hurts when I’m not near him and he doesn’t hold me. I cringe inside when we fight, but I know deep down, inside both of us, we love each other." I paused, huffing, my eyes pleading with him. "Please Zekk, let me go. Let go of the past; don’t hurt me anymore."

Zekk huffed, his hand reaching my face, caressing my cheek, and I could see tears in his eyes. "I just don’t know how to let you go, Jaina. You’ve always been a huge part of my life; I guess I just shoved you away so many times...when I should have kept me near. But I don’t want to hurt you; I would never wish you any pain. You don’t deserve that." He paused, gazing up, nodding to something behind me. "I’ll always hold you close to my heart, Jaina." He kissed my hand, tears falling on my hand as I let go. "I’m sorry if I intruded on your life; I never meant to hurt you – for both times." He scratched his chin and turned to leave, grabbing his flight jacket, "Good by, Jaina." And silently, he mouthed, "I love you."

I turned around, once I felt Zekk was gone facing Jag. He was the presence; I don’t know how long he had been standing there but it wasn’t enough to soften his attitude towards Zekk and I. He shrugged, walking forward and hugged me. "I’m sorry, Sticks." He cried, holding me close.

"You heard what I said?"

He nodded and kissed my forehead, "Everything. I was in the turbo lift thinking. I had no right to announce the engagement like this. We weren’t ready; I was angry. The thought that some one else had their eyes on you, it scared me. For a split second, I realized I might lose you and did the only thing I could to keep you by my side. I’m sorry."

I laughed, kissing his cheek, "I’m sorry too; I’m sorry because we’re gonna have to do that all over again but the right way." He smiled, as I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, "Chances are, the Squadron didn’t release the news yet. It’s late and everybody’s tired. It was bad timing and stupid thinking, but we can do it right this time. We don’t have to rush and prove anything to anyone." I knelt down and presented him with a ring, "Jagged Fel, will you merry me?"

Jag knelt down and lightly touched my hand, taking the ring, "Yes." He kissed my hand (the one that my engagement ring). "Yes." I leaned over and kissed him, for the first time, feeling totally at ease and relieved.

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Jaina’s Journal_Entry_17

"Return to Darkness"

By obi’s girl

Disclaimer: Valis Q. Palid is my character; everything else belongs to GL.

Regretfully, my moment of bliss with Jag was cut short when alarms filled the Squadron hallways. Not again! I huffed, kissing Jag one last time before exiting the lounge, calling Wedge; Jag was right beside me as he also commed his Squadron. Jag and I had to cover our ears as we stood in the doorway; pilots were rushing every which way down the hall. This definitely wasn’t a drill. Finally, I connected – but to Colonel Darklighter. At least I connected to somebody. "Colonel, what’s happening?"

~~<Yorik coral! One of our guys spotted them while out on patrol; we managed to decipher part of the transmission before he was vaped. > ~~ He paused, talking to some one else momentarily, ~~<I have to go. Get to your X-wing, and May the Force be with you. >~~ Before cutting off the transmission.

I glanced at Jag. He already grabbed his gun from its holster. He nodded to me; I nodded back, grabbing him into a passionate kiss before racing down the opposite hallway.

I covered my ears as I ran into the Bay, quickly boarding my X-wing. I turned abruptly, hearing a frantic voice behind me. It was a male Chiss pilot; he was about Jacen’s height and probably my age. "You my wing man?" He nodded yes, boarding a craft next to me as I prepped Sparky. I smiled to myself, thinking this was Jag’s doing. He wanted the best out there with me. What a sweetheart! No, not now, girl! The Chiss connected his computer to my X-wing, how, I don’t know and I didn’t care.

As my X-wing joined my mates in orbit, I tapped my COM, connecting to my Chiss wing mate. "Hey, what’s your name?" There was static for a moment before he answered, as I kept my eyes locked on my computer scans.

~~<Valis Q. Palid. >~~ He answered, coming about my left side. Valis, huh? Well welcome to the Rogue Squadron.

A moment later, I was shocked to hear Jag’s voice over my com. ~~<Hey, like the surprise? Figured you needed a new wing mate. > ~~

"Thanks Jag but now really isn’t the time to talk. Sorry, I’m switching you off honey." I scowled to myself, doing just that, expecting a rebuttal but nothing. Valis came over my COM again, "Yes?"

~~<It’ll be better to spread out, the Vong will be confused...>~~

I nodded, firing my ion cannon covering one of the other pilots as he/she rounded about and reversed course running after the Vong that shot him/her. Strangely, as I fixed on another Vong in front of me, another appeared right behind me, ready to blast me right out of the orbit if it weren’t for Valis checking my back. He cornered off to the side, shooting down the yorik coral. I smiled, as he once again came about, taking on speed.

A light flashed from my right side. One of the coral vaped one of the Rogue pilots. I closed my eyes, forcing back the tears as I vectored my X-wing in direct path of the ship. Valis’ voice cracked over my Com but I didn’t answer. I didn’t have time to answer. My X-wing wavered in orbit, as I focused to target the yorik coral. It took awhile but I finally managed and shot twice; the first shot took it off balance for a moment but the second shot vaped it. I heard my COM beeping again and I knew it was my Chiss co-pilot. I grudgingly grabbed it, my other hand on my stick. "Valis, what is it?"

~~<Sticks, my computers have picked up an anomaly up ahead, vector 2.14. Could be a wormhole or something; force field --- I don’t know. Stay away from it, whatever it is. > ~~ He switched off, as I tripped my scanners, reading the vector Valis claimed to be dangerous. It’s not that I didn’t trust him, I did, but if my senses were right --- they were right. I fired two torpedoes into the vector and they disappeared. Either the Vong knew about this or not, if they didn’t, two points for me!

"Valis, the vector you said was dangerous, I have a plan. Rely this information to the other pilots." I rambled, pushed some relay buttons, sending the information through the fleet. Valis beeped me again, so I knew they agreed with the plan. "Get those yorik coral to follow you, but don’t get too close to the void or you’ll be sucked in yourselves."

One of the other pilots, cracked through my COM ~~<What if they know the void is there? >~~

I huffed, gritting my teeth, "If they knew it was there, they would have stationed three corals behind to guard it." I answered, biting my lip. Or not. There was a chance they did know the void was there, but I was praying they didn’t know. "Corner as many yorik coral as you can. It’ll be nice if we can pull all of them in together without having to spread things out a bit."

~~<Copy, Sticks. >~~

I shrugged, focusing on two yorik coral; Valis wasn’t too far behind me. In fact, he grabbed the other one, giving me the chance to snag another. If this doesn’t work, we’re going to have to make a quick run for home. One of the coral snipped Valis’ on his side but it wasn’t serious. He kept on target, but grew to close to the vector. I grabbed my COM, huffing, "Valis, you’re too close to the vector. You need to back off. Copy? Back off; you’re too close to the vector!"

Static filtered through my COM before Valis was able to respond. ~~<Repeat. >~~

I rolled my eyes, shooting one more Vong as he was trying to escape. "Back off; you’re too close to the vector! Valis, back off or you’ll be sucked in by the void!" I glanced out my port view.

He was backing off but not before something from one of the Vong ships stretched out and grabbed Valis’ wing! It looked to be like an arm extension. I nodded, shooting the midsection of the arm, forcing it to back off and retreat.

~~<Thanks, Sticks. >~~

I nodded, shooting up several of the Vong ships. I might have seemed like a crazy woman but it was working. The coral were backing off towards the void. I bit my lip. Just a little bit closer; just a little bit closer. Perfect. The coral were pulled back by the void; several of them scrambled to escape but realized they were cornered and let the void suck them up. One by one, they disappeared off the scopes.

I glanced behind me; Valis was at the back, between two other X-wings. The last one fired randomly before vanishing, probably not even caring where the shot ended up. As far as I knew, it streaked past hitting virtually nothing but space.

I smiled and relaxed, hearing the many cheers over the COM. It was over.... Almost over. Someone connected to my COM; I tapped it, expecting some other pilots’ congratulations for the idea but what came next, was totally unexpected.

~~<Sticks.... Been hit. Need medical assistance...Jagged Fel. >~~

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Jaina’s Journal_Entry_18

Forever

By Obi’s Girl

Author’s Note: This has to be the longest entry of Jaina’s Journal, and most dramatic – over all, it’s a huge tearjerker. Enjoy J

~~<I turned, a strand of sweaty of hair stuck to my cheeks and forehead. I gasped, staring at him. My mouth was practically open and gaping back, unable to comprehend. There he was, Jagged Fel, dressed, in an officers' suit or was it one? I wasn't really sure. He was dressed up nicely, almost like gentlemen but the thin shirt he wore almost revealed his tight muscles. <Oh no, Jainy! Don't even think about. >

"Jag, what, uh, is something wrong - I mean what are you doing here?" I asked, practically falling over myself.

"I was training, sir. Jedi exercises and sorry, I forgot. We're equals."

"I always wanted to do that." He whispered. >~~

~~<I nodded, touching the runway slightly. It was a bit bumpy, but then again, landing any type of craft was never easy. And I was nervous. Not only because I didn't want to mess up, but get distracted by this beautiful man steering me home. He was an excellent teacher. <I might have to reward him later for that. > I thought with a grin on my face.

"Hold it, Sticks. You're starting to come in too steep!" he cried. >~~

~~<"Practice. Practice is good." I replied, staring back at him.

~~<Jag smiled up at me as I checked his bandages from the blast. They were still in tact but in case we were needed again, I used a Jedi healing trance, helping the wound cover up faster. Tionne had taught me how to do that when I was younger, before the war happened – I’m just sorry I couldn’t prevent Jag from getting hurt. I was able to heal it a little bit so it wouldn’t sting as much when he walked. "Feel better?"

"A little, but not that’s where it hurts anymore."

I raised an eyebrow at him but decided to play along anyway and smiled. "Where does it hurt then?"

I laughed, "I think we both needed that." >~~

~~<Forever. >~~

I blinked back to reality, looking out my view port. Two X-wings had already escorted Jag back to base; a couple more I assumed docked and one, probably Valis’ stayed behind until I ready. Except how can I be ready? Jag... I thought the coral’s shot didn’t hit anything except space. I felt the hot tears in my eyes as I brought my X-wing about, returning with Valis to the bay.

Coming in, I struggled to remain calm despite this horrid feeling inside of me as I docked my x-wing. I ignored the pilots come to congratulate me and immediately went to one of the flight attendants. "Excuse me, sir, Jagged Fe1...The pilot that was shot..."

He nodded, "He’s in the med. Bay." And returned to his work. I felt my face go pale, my limbs seemed to tense more – the last time something happened to Jag, he came out fine with just a scratch but this was serious, very serious. I turned around, Valis was at my side. I nodded as he steered me towards the door and down towards the med. Bay.

I fought with myself not to cry or panic as I stood waiting while Valis talked to the doctor on call. I had to remain strong but how long can I stay strong before breaking down in total fear? My fear and dark emotions only got worse when Wedge rushed into the bay. I tried to look busy but he knew I was only trying not to cry. He walked over and smiled as he always did; I smiled back, fidgeting before I hugged him tight.

"Wedge, I swear I didn’t know Jag was hit. I saw the coral fire, but I didn’t think it hit anything except space..."

He nodded, frowning, "No one’s blaming you, Sticks." Wedge smiled again, raising his chin, "Jag will get through this; he’s a fighter. If there’s anything he’s learned from you and growing up Chiss, it’s to survive at whatever cost."

"Whatever cost." I echoed, sitting down, removing my dog tag, and playing with the ring Jag gave me and smiled hopefully. "When I accepted, I told Jag there are no tomorrow’s; we won’t know what will happen months from now or if we’ll even survive the war...Sithspawn, I really wish that was true." I looked down, staring at the two stick figures holding hands and the sun above them, "If he dies, how can I deal with that? I don’t know how to feel; from the cockpit in my X-wing to sitting right here, all I feel is numb."

Wedge shrugged, "Maybe that’s a good thing; your feelings won’t be jumbled up or confused."

I nodded, glancing up as one of the nurses came out and talked with Valis. Wedge and I stood up, confronting the nurse. She could have been about my age, maybe two or five years older. "He’s stable for the moment, but he’s in a coma. We don’t know how it will last --- um, when he was brought in, he kept mumbling some one’s name or at least a nickname. Anybody here called ‘Sticks’?"

I looked back at Wedge. He nodded it was all right and I slowly raised my hand, smiling partially, "I’m Sticks. Jaina Solo." I paused, finding my voice, "Can I see him?"

The nurse shrugged and smiled, "I think maybe you should; if you don’t mind me asking, who is he to you?"

I gazed up at the woman and nodded, "I’m his fiancée." And I walked inside, not looking back.

~~<"Did you mean what you said before? That I’m you’re future?"

Jag smiled, kissing me passionately. "I wouldn’t have it any other way." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a ring, causing me to worry a bit. "If we get through this war, would you do me the honor of marrying me?" >~~

I had been through hurt and heart break before; I knew the pain but whatever I felt then, was nothing compared to how I felt when I saw Jag laying helplessly on the bed, eyes closed and breathing through a tube with some minors burns and bruises. Sithspawn, why did this happen? I wanted to crush those Vong for hurting him, but it wasn’t them. It was I. I was so wrapped up in the moment, I blocked out whatever else was going on. I didn’t even feel his emotions; I just blocked everything out.

I grabbed a chair and sat down; entwining my hand with his left and smiled hopefully. I even squeezed hoping if I squeezed hard enough, he would wake up. It didn’t happen. I bit my lip, forcing back my emotions. Now wasn’t the time to start acting like a girl. I had to be strong...for him.

"Jag..." My voice was hoarse, I didn’t even recognize it. "Jag, I don’t know if you can hear me --- it’s Sticks. I’m here, and I have something to say to you, so many things." I looked down, matching his hand with mine, "The first time around, you weren’t badly injured; I could deal with it but this, I can’t deal anymore. Jag, I can’t lose you. I need you. You were the first...before I met you, I gave up on love. I didn’t want to feel; you didn’t feel either. The Chiss in you, but I love that part of you."

I cleared my throat and kissed his hand, laughing, "You know you can’t die on me. You proposed and I accepted --- Jag, I want us to be together, not only for me; for your Uncle. You’re the only connection to his sister and her family. There’s so much you have to live for but most of all, live for me. Please." I kissed his hand again, as his other twitched. I saw the twitch and nearly fell out of my chair as I called the nurse.

Two nurses and a man ran into the room; Wedge and Valis not far behind. I backed away from the bed as the nurses started checking his vitals. I bit my lip again, preying this was for real. The nurses were distracted, checking everything they didn’t even see him open his eyes. I choked back a breath of air as our eyes locked together. He saw me; I know he did because he smiled.

The nurses backed away once again as I walked to the bed and grasped his hand. He smiled at me again, trying to speak, "Live...for me." With that, he closed his eyes. I nodded furiously as I glanced at his vitals. They were low, very low. I felt the pain rushing back, as the nurses tried to revive him.

Hot tears streamed down my face, though I didn’t know it. I glanced back at Wedge; he looked away, crying as Valis held his head low in accordance.

~~<Jag looked down at the ring in his hand, scrutinized it before handing it to me. I looked at him, confused a bit. "Keep it then. Keep it with you while you think, and look foreword towards the future, Sticks. The future is all we have." He then removed my dog tag necklace and slid the ring on it. "Just don’t keep me waiting forever."

I smiled, kissing his cheek, looking at the silver ring. It had some markings on it. They looked like hieroglyphs. I rested my head on his shoulder, examining the ring. "It’s beautiful. What does it mean? The hieroglyphs?"

I nodded my head furiously, reached over him and breathed air into his lungs. Moments, later several nurses and the main doctor rushed into the room and pushed me aside as they tried to revive Jag. I clenched my fists, as I felt Wedge’s hand on my right shoulder for support. This couldn’t happen. Our lives were just beginning; we had a life – we’re going to have a life together. How can the Force be so cruel to take Jag away from me? Sithspawn, it wasn’t fair!

After some time, the nurses were finally able to increase his breathing though his eyes still weren’t open. I wanted to see his eyes, his dark eyes and feel he was alive because I begged him to live. I want him to live; if he doesn’t I don’t know what I’ll do. He was my life, my whole life. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him; grow old; have children and grand children with him. I wanted everything; I wanted him. And it was killing me there was no such response that he was all right.

~~<"Did you mean what you said before? That I’m you’re future?"

We didn’t go through all those bad times, all those trials if we weren’t meant to be together, Jag. I need you in life because you are my life. I love you so much. I want to give you everything; don’t take that away from me. Don’t run away from me, your Uncle and the family you left behind.

I glanced behind me; Wedge was leaning back on the wall and the nurses...They had left to allow Jag to rest, but one of them stayed in case there was another emergency. I smiled thanks to her as I neared the bed again and grasped his right hand and kissed it. I felt the faint life inside of him. He was still weak barely hanging on but he stayed...for me.

I stayed. I stayed so long, Wedge had to turn in and go home (and tell my family where I was in case they were wandering). It didn’t matter to me as long as I stayed with Jag and made sure he was going to pull out from the coma. However long, I wouldn’t leave him. I love him too much to betray him like that. We were engaged after all and as far as I was concerned, I already considered myself his wife. I wasn’t Jaina Solo anymore. I was Jaina Fel, wife of Jagged Fel.

Unfortunately, the doctors had to kick me out because they needed to monitor his vitals and brain activity (and one of the nurses also persuaded me to be with my family and that I needed them, even though I wanted to be there incase he woke up).

I took the nurses’ advice and went to see my family (my Uncle Luke and Aunt Mara). I didn’t want to talk to my parents or siblings. Luke must have sensed I was coming because the door opened because I even COM’d it. I smiled, hugging him as I walked inside the small apartment. I smiled weakly at my aunt Mara and sat down on the couch, staring up at the wall and nodded, "I really didn’t know the missile hit Jag until I was COM’d. I thought it just hit space. Sithspawn, I wish it hit only space!"

Luke nodded, sitting down next to me, "It wasn’t your fault, Jaina. It was an accident." He paused, biting his lip, "Does Wedge blame you?"

"He said it was an accident too but it is my fault. I know it is. I should have sensed he was hurt; I was so caught up in vaping those coral skippers, I closed myself out from feeling anything else. Jag’s hurt because I tuned him out and now, he’s hurt!"

"Jag is an excellent pilot. He was careful; you all have to be careful when you’re out there ---." Mara started, sitting down on the opposite armchair. "In this war, no one knows what to expect. No one knows what casualties there will be until it’s too late. But no matter what, you have to remember none of this is your fault. The Vong came here; they invaded our galaxy without asking for an invitation." She paused, reasoning, "If there’s anyone you should blame, it shouldn’t be yourself. It should be the Vong."

The Jedi Master tensed up, sensing the tone of his wife. He knew Mara was resentful of the Vong for giving her the disease that was incurable for any medical means. But it still worried him, especially with a little one on the way. I huffed, fingering my necklace and ring.

~~<Forever. >~~

I glanced up at the both of them and removed my dog tag.... and the ring. "Jag, he gave this to me." I started, referring to the silver ring. "I don’t have to explain what it is; I think you both know – chances are you probably know about the announcement Jag made to the Rogue Squadron. I accepted. We were – if we survived the war, we would get married and have a life together." I paused, choking back tears as I stood up and paced about, "I want to have that life, but I can’t if --- it shouldn’t be like this!"

Luke picked up the ring and examined it, looking particularly at the two stick figures and the sun above the two – only it wasn’t a sun. It was a heart with two rings around, crossing horizontally. In that moment, the Jedi Master saw Jag and I standing across from each other, holding hands as an officiator lead us in our vows. He smiled, glancing back at Mara and I. She held me as I cried on her shoulder. "He’s not going to die, Jaina."

I looked incredulously at him, my face still wet from tears, "You haven’t seen him, Uncle Luke. He had bruises – he was weak." I nodded; I couldn’t even talk about his condition it hurt so much. "Did you have a vision?"

"I did," he started, kneeling before me and smiled, "And you know what I saw? I saw you standing happily across from Jag, as the two of you were married. You were so beautiful, Jaina. The warmth and love --- it was shining so brightly it could have blinded me. Jag, won’t die. He won’t die because he wants to have that life with you, and he wouldn’t leave you."

I huffed, leaning back, "I really want to believe that but now, I don’t know what to believe." At that moment, my COM link hummed. I groaned, picking it up, praying it wasn’t another attack. I really wasn’t in the mood to deal with more Vong. They already caused enough damage. "Yes? Lieutenant Solo here."

~~<Sticks? It’s Valis. You need to get down here – they’re a slight change in Jag’s condition. >~~

Change? Was that a good change or a bad change? Frankly, I wanted it to be good change but since when did I things I wanted to go my way, ever did. "I’ll be right there. Thanks Valis." Luke and Mara raised an eyebrow as I stood up, straightening my flight vest, "A present from Jag. My new wing-man; he’s a Chiss and a good pilot." Luke nodded, hugging me one last time before I left; hoping it was a good change Valis was talking about.

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Jaina’s Journal_Entry_19

Possibilities

By obi’s girl

Mara rolled her eyes, grabbing a cup of water. She loved Luke dearly but in her opinion, it was wrong of him to put my hopes up that Jag might actually survive. The Vong, they can be brutal and life and death, was not something to be toyed with. Luke saw her irritation and frowned, fidgeting. "I didn’t say that to toy with Jaina’s mind, Mara. I said it to give her hope, and right now, we all need a little hope."

She turned to him, holding the cup in her right hand, crossing her arms, "I know you would never say anything to hurt Jaina, Luke. She loves him a lot. It tore my heart to hear that Jag proposed to her and, depending if he survives or not, they might not have that future." Mara shrugged, "Jaina doesn’t need that grief. It can weigh heavily on a person, especially if she believes he’s in that coma because she was careless."

"But she wasn’t careless. She formulated a plan, carried it out and it worked." Luke reasoned, crossing his legs, leaning back against the wall.

Mara raised an eyebrow and sighed, "I guess it will be never-ending."

Luke frowned, "What’s never-ending?"

She walked over to him, put down the cup and hugged him, "The repeat of history; the pain, the hurt – a beautiful romance turned into tragedy. It will never change. It took a war to bring Jaina and Jag together and now, there may never be a tomorrow for them."

"...Except there will be a tomorrow, Mara. I know what I saw in my vision. Jag WILL survive. I wouldn’t have had if it was wrong."

"I know, but it was only a possible future, Luke. Nothing’s definite, which means it, could change. Jag may not survive and if that does happen, it will crush Jaina." She reasoned, bracing him closer, "I just don’t want to see her hurt anymore than she needs to be. We’ve all been through a lot; but them – they’re future is everything. Jacen, Anakin, Jaina --- they can have a future if the Force will only let them."

Luke smiled, kissing her cheek, "They will. Trust me."

Mara laughed, hearing the slyness in his voice. Same farm boy. Same innocent voice, but even that didn’t soothe her worries.

As I walked back inside the med. Center, I told myself not to panic. There was no need to panic. It could be good news, or bad news, or worse! No, don’t panic. Think good thoughts. Jag the future you’ll have together. Future? If there was a future. No, don’t go there! He’ll be fine. He’ll be fine. I huffed, confronting Valis and Wedge, who had rejoined him. Ooh, that wasn’t good or maybe it was. Maybe Wedge was there because Jag came out of the coma. Of course, there was also the other scenario where this was a ‘good bye’. No. It wasn’t that. I couldn’t be. Could it?

"What happened?" I mused, unable to look in Wedge’s direction. Whatever the outcome, I didn’t want Wedge to blame me. I already felt like bantha fodder.

Valis nodded, "He’s conscious; able to speak a little bit but not a lot." He leaned forward and smiled, "And he wants to talk to you."

Talk to me? Now, that was the best news I’ve heard all day. Of course, I would talk to him. Valis went to sit down as I hugged Wedge before going in. Jag was playing with his dog tag as I came in. I knocked the door. He looked up at me and smiled the most beautiful smile I had ever seen. And his eyes, they seemed so full of energy. If it ever came up, and he proposed again, I would accept immediately (might even insist we get married on the spot). I pulled up a chair on his left side and smiled, kissing his cheek. "How are you feeling?"

"A bit groggy." He frowned, taking my left hand in his and squeezed it, "I’m sorry I scared you like that..."

I nodded, "There’s no need to apologize, Jag. It was an accident." I paused, looking down, "besides, it was my fault." His eyebrow’s furrowed as I continued, "I executed the plan; I blocked out everything else around me – including you. I believed we were invincible and we weren’t. You were hurt because of my carelessness."

Jag shook his head, rubbing my hand, "It wasn’t you’re fault, Sticks. It was a great plan and it worked. By now, those yorik coral are probably half way across the galaxy by now, and away from innocents. You did good. You should be proud of yourself. I am."

"Probably but I still can’t shake this feeling, it’s not over. I mean, that there’s more. Like why that wormhole was right there when we needed it and how did it get there? Was it fabricated by the Vong or had it been there all along and we just didn’t know about it?"

He shrugged, "I don’t know. It could be – Look, I don’t want to talk about this anymore." Jag smiled, tugging me closer, "I was thinking. The announcement we – I mean I made earlier, it really wasn’t official. Chances are the HoloNet haven’t reported on it yet...Why don’t we make it official? After I get out here, how about if we have a family dinner, Wedge included in the mix and announce it together?"

I smiled, kissing him, "I like the way you think Jagged Fel. I’d have to recall Jacen to Coruscant from Yavin 4 but I don’t think that will be a problem, and hey, maybe your mother and siblings can come and meet their legendary uncle."

Jag frowned slightly, but not too much. "Mom would love with see Wedge again; they had been apart for so long...It would answer some questions about why she left to begin with and cut off all contact with the Republic. I never really asked her because she never liked to talk about it."

"We don’t have to push her; but I would like to meet my future mother-in-law and brother-in-laws, or sisters." I piped. I kissed him again, "I am so lucky to have you, Jag. I went to see my Luke and Mara. I told them about us – I was totally freaked. But Luke, he had a vision that we would have a future. I wanted to believe him."

"What did he see?"

I shrugged, smiling mischievously, "Our wedding."

Jag smiled, drawing me closer, "Well, he wouldn’t be far off. I definitely see you in my future, Jaina Solo."

"A vision?"

He nodded, "No, intuition." And kissed me.

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Jaina’s Journal_Entry_20

"The Engagement"

By obi’s girl

Summary: The Journal Entry everyone’s been waiting for – the official engagement of Jaina Solo and Jagged Fel!

I’m engaged! I’m engaged to Jagged Fel! Jag did announce we were engaged earlier on, but it was only to hurt Zekk. I said it to hurt Zekk but this time, this time it was for real. I just hoped it wasn’t all over the HoloNet before I actually have the chance to tell my family. They shouldn’t have to hear it from the news, rather than from me. Jag will be released tomorrow, so we’ll talk to them then.

I scratched my forehead, walking into the briefing room when the lights turned on before I even reached them and was surprised by the Squadron, Tycho, Gavin, Wedge and the other pilots, Chiss and human. Valis was among the Chiss, an even smile on his face. I bit my lip, smiling weakly. "What is this?"

Wedge shrugged, hugging me, "A surprise engagement party. Welcome to my family." I glanced worriedly at Valis. This wasn’t the time --- it was wonderful and thoughtful but I wanted Luke, Mara, my brothers and parents here. "Where’s Jag?"

"He’s going to be released tomorrow, tomorrow, when we’re going to tell the whole family." I mused, trying not to sound angry and ungrateful.

Gavin nodded, "We won’t say a word about the engagement, Sticks."

"Thank you," I replied, plopping down on a chair, hiding my face in my arms. Wedge saw I was exhausted; he nodded to Gavin and he chauffeured the pilots out, Valis included.

He sat down on my left and smiled, "What’s wrong, Jaina? You seem a bit..."

I looked up, swaying my head slightly, "A little." I stood up, pacing about the room before leaning my back on the wall, "I am happy to be engaged to Jag. I was shocked when he first proposed. I knew we were in love – when the shot accidentally hit his x-wing, I freaked. I thought it was the end; Uncle Luke said I shouldn’t feel guilty – my plan worked but it shouldn’t have put Jag’s life on the line." I huffed, crossing my arms, "When Zekk was here and tried to interfere with our relationship – he wanted to get me back, and Jag saw the letter he left for me on my COM pad outside my quarters...It scares me this feeling inside."

Wedge stood up and braced my shoulders, "It shouldn’t scare you, Jaina. It’s a good feeling."

"I know, but there are consequences. We’re in the middle of a war – anything can happen."

He raised his chin, "Nothing will happen." Wedge paused, smiling, "I don’t know if you know this, but remember in the Sims, before you met Jag, he seemed to pick on you exclusively?" I nodded. "Before going up against all the pilots, he checked their profiles to see who was the best and most unique. He saw your name and saw that you were a Jedi Knight; he also thought you were cute and he knew."

I shrugged, "Knew what?"

"Knew that you were special." Wedge shifted his weight to his other leg, "You deserve this, Jaina."

I smiled, hugging Wedge, "Thank you, Wedge, or should I start calling you Uncle Wedge?"

He laughed, mouthing the title, and shrugged, "Why not? I’ve always considered myself part of your family, anyway."

~~ Day 2 ~~

Family? That sort of thing is usually associated with marriage; I would love to have a daughter or son. Correction, Jag would love a son; I would love a daughter. Still, before anything can happen, I have to wait until Jag will be released so we could talk to my family and tell them about the engagement. I glanced at the chrono on the wall. It wouldn’t be long until he was released.

Jag, when I saw him before, he said it wasn’t my fault. I wanted to believe him but I still can’t help but feel somewhat responsible. It was my actions that got him hurt in the first place; I was careless I know I was. But I think Aunt Mara and Uncle Luke were right – it was the Vong’s fault. It was a Vong yorik coral that made the shot that hit Jag’s X-wing, but still...I should have been looking out for him. It shouldn’t have happened. They shouldn’t have come here. No one invited them.

"Am I interrupting you?" a voice asked from the doorway of my apartment. I gazed up squinting slightly. I had dimmed the room. He stepped closer and ordered some of the lights on. I smiled, running into his arms, crying furiously. Jag held me tight, patting my back, "Hey, it’s okay. I’m fine, really."

I backed away, wiping my tears away, "A few minutes ago you weren’t. It scared me..." I started, pacing about, "And it reminded me how vulnerable we really are."

He nodded, "I thought we agreed it wasn’t your fault?"

I turned to him and sighed, "I won’t deny I feel somewhat responsible for what happened; I do – I just don’t want anything bad to happen to you. You’re so special to me you have no idea. I love you so much; it scared me when you’re hurt."

Jag braced my arms and smiled. He leaned down and kissed my forehead, "You know I don’t blame you, Sticks, for what happened. No one does. But I understand how you feel. In war, there aren’t a lot of certainties." He paused, shifting his weight, "Let me put it this way, you didn’t fire the shot that my X-wing. The Vong did. It was the Vong that invaded the galaxy without permission and enslaved several core planets. Whatever tiny accident that happens here, is nothing compared to the damage they’ve created." He raised his right hand and stroked my cheek like a child, "Feel any better?"

"A little, and you’re right. It was the Vong that fired that shot. Not me," I smiled, wrapping my arms around and kissed him, "How about we deal with that engagement now?"

He shrugged, kissing my forehead again. "Now, you’re talking." Jag extended his arm to me and I took it, as he led me out.

It took some time gathering everybody together in the Pilot’s Lounge, but when we finally did, I was more than ready to make the announcement myself. Wedge, Gavin and Typho Celchu came in together. Typho nodded to Luke and hugged the Jedi Master. Gavin nodded to me before sitting down; Wedge walked over to us and hugged Jag, winked at me and joined Gavin.

Everybody was there, except my two brothers. Anakin and Jacen were still needed on Yavin. Luke and Mara offered to give them a ride over, but the Solo brothers decided to stay on Yavin to keep order amongst Kyp’s faction and their Uncles.

Well, at least they’re trying to help. I glanced at Jag; he nodded and I stepped forward. Since he announced our engagement last time, he figured it was only fair for me to have a shot at it too.

"Thank you all for coming. I, um – I don’t know if you all have been listening to the Holo Net; they may or may have not reported on this already, I don’t know." I glanced back at Jag; he only smiled, urging me on.

"I – a day ago, something horrible happened. Jag, I thought – when he was hit, my mind was reeling. I didn’t want to accept death as an option because it is NEVER an option, but life is." Before I could continue, the doors leading to the lounge opened.

Anakin walked in and while I was expecting Jacen not to be far behind, what I saw, I was definitely not expecting my brother kissing Danni Quee! Okay, that is totally unfair Jace! This is my party; I’m the center of attention – not you! Jacen stopped and smiled at every body else, quietly walking inside, Danni holding his hand. She smiled at every one as the two of them sat down next to Anakin.

I rolled my eyes, slightly pissed off. Slightly isn’t even the word for it. If there weren’t any witnesses, I would drag my older brother out of the lounge and lecture him and yell at him so hard; he’d wish he hadn’t shown up unexpectedly. Calm down, girl. This is yours and Jag’s day.

"Anyway, like I was saying, we’ve been through a lot and in times like these, it’s always good to have some one to lean on." Forget the speech; just get to the point before they start ignore you! "Jag proposed to me two days ago. I was reluctant at first because there were a lot of factors to consider but after thinking it over, and thinking about the many ways on how to phrase my name as a married woman, I said yes!"

Jag stood up, from leaning against the bar and hugged me from behind. "And in case she didn’t mention, this is the engagement party."

Everybody laughed. I turned to Jag and kissed him before several of my family members stepped up to congratulate us. Luke hugged me, smiling, "I told you everything would be all right." He hugged Jag, and then went to talk to Wedge and Gavin.

Next came, my parents. Mom was too much in tears to say anything. She just hugged me as dad rolled his eyes, nodding to Jag, "Take care of her, Jag. The last thing you want is to deal with her brothers, and me." He extended his hand to the young man. Jag took it, smiling back at him. I nodded to him as the moved on as I met both my brothers. Jacen was first, followed closely by Danni.

I hugged Jacen; he smiled, "One day, when you look back on this day, it’s going to be a very funny story..." I let go, planting my fists on my waist, tapping my finger. He frowned, "Or not. Congratulations, Jaina. And Jag, I’ve watched the of you two flirt with each other from the very beginning – glad to see it paid off."

I’m glad too, Jacen.

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Jaina’s Journal_Entry_21

"Come What May"

By obi’s girl

I smiled thanks to every one as they left but pulled Jacen to the side as he started to slip out the door. He nodded to Danni and she head out. Jag kissed my cheek and made himself scarce, knowing I wanted to know what happened that brought Jacen and Danni together. "What happened? I mean, the last time you were here, as far as I knew, you and Danni weren’t together. You weren’t even close." Jacen smiled mischievously, shoving his hands into his pants’ pockets and strode over to the window. "Jacen?"

He turned back to me, the sheepish grin still on his face, "You know the pond at the back of the Temple? When I got back to Yavin, Danni and I talked, really talked. Conversational, philosophical stuff. I told her about my visit with you, and she told me how she was dealing her ‘new life-style’ as a Jedi."

I rolled my eyes, "Get to the point, Jace!"

"She was rambling on and on, I leaned over and kissed her. I figured it was the only way to shut her up...and she kissed back." Jace’s smile broadened and for a moment, I saw the ‘Solo’ flare. The same flare our father possessed when he first started to flirt with our mother. He was a scoundrel.

"So what? Are you guys dating or something?" I know it was a stupid question, but if they continued to make spectacle of their relationship like this, all the attention would be off Jag and I. Well, maybe that wouldn’t be a bad thing. We would have more privacy but if they came to the wedding, making out, I was going to stomp down from my place at the altar and beat the Sith out of him!

He shrugged, musing, "I guess." Jace turned back to me, kissed my cheek and left the lounge.

I met up with Jag, talking to Wedge at his office. I didn’t say anything about Jacen. I still liked the spotlight on Jag and I. Wedge gestured I sit down. He stood and opened a drawer on the side of his desk and removed a bottle and three glasses. I glanced at Jag. He shrugged but nodded to humor him. "Jaina, I’ve always considered myself part of your family. I’ve known Luke for a long time but now, I ‘really’ get to be part of the family." He poured the first two glasses. He smiled, "Don’t worry. It’s not alcoholic."

I took the glass, as he gave the second to Jag and poured himself one and continued, "How are you two going to plan this?"

I shrugged, "Obviously, we’re not going to get married right away."

He frowned, raising an eyebrow, "Why not? You’re in love, right?"

Jag smiled, bracing my shoulders, "We are. With the war and everything, nothing should be rushed. I want Sticks to look beautiful when I have to stand across from her."

I blushed, taking a sip. It was Corellian wine. The bubbles tickled my nose and Wedge was right; it wasn’t alcoholic. "Besides, we want every one to be there. Your sister and Jag’s brothers’ – we hope." Wedge’s frown deepened and I mentally scolded myself for mentioning her. "Sorry. I didn’t mean to ---."

"I know you didn’t, Jaina. The possibility, that she might come – I know it’s impossible."

Jag cut him off, putting down his glass. "It isn’t impossible, Uncle. Before I came here, she told me if she could, she would go to Coruscant and see you. Nothing is keeping her on Chiss. She’s just been scared to come here and see you. She’s been scared that you might be angry with her."

Wedge laughed, "I could never be angry with your mother, Jag." He raised his glass again, "Whether she comes or not, it will still be a beautiful wedding and you can guarantee, every Squadron pilot – Chiss and human will be there, and your family of course, Jaina. Come What May."

I smiled as both Jag and I clicked out glasses’ with Wedge. "Come What May." We cried.

Come What May. I like the sound of that. I mean, after all the heartbreak I had been through over the years, I had basically given up on love, true love. Jag was true love. I will love him until my dying day. Forget the war, and the annoying Vong, as long as Jag is in my life, everything is perfect. Come What May. I smiled to myself, walking into the sim room. It had been three weeks since our engagement and everyone could see how happy I was. I wore Jag’s ring proudly, and occasionally fingered it when I was bored.

I sat down at the observation table. Wedge smiled back at me as he reviewed a progress report. "You know, you don’t have to come in if you don’t want to. I mean, don’t you have a wedding to plan?" He winked at me and I smiled, laughing.

"I know I do. Actually, I was wondering about something. The location, should it be here on Coruscant or on Yavin 4?"

He shrugged, "That’s up to you and Jag. Knowing him, he might want it on Chiss. I don’t know." Wedge picked up a mug and took a sip from it, nodding, "Haven’t you two talked about that? You’ve had three weeks, what have you been doing?"

I blushed, "Stealing time."

Wedge smiled, knowing my meaning, as his fingers tapped the sides of the mug. "I see. You really should discuss it. Location is a big issue."

I shrugged, "There are a lot of things about marriage that’s a big issue. What should be priority? Should it be location, what the dress will be, the food..."

Wedge leaned forward and rested his hand on mine and smiled. "Take a week off, Sticks. I think you have a lot of things to think about. Talk to Jag. Where’s he been anyway? I haven’t seen him in three weeks."

"I haven’t either. In fact, I came here, hoping you had seen him. I tried to talk to Valis but he didn’t know either."

"Maybe he’s planning something special for you." The older man shrugged, "You brought the romantic side out of him, you know, besides the human part."

I smiled to myself, musing, "And getting the human side out wasn’t easy." Before we could talk some more, my COMlink buzzed. I picked it up, half-heartedly, "Yes? Jaina Solo."

~~<Hey Sticks. Can I see you for a minute? >~~

"Jag, where are you? Where have you been?"

He laughed, ~~<I’m in the mess hall. I promise I’ll explain everything once you get down here. Sticks, please? >~~

I rolled my eyes and smiled. Wedge perked up, realizing who was on the other end. "Fine. I’ll be there and you better explain to me what you’ve been up to for three weeks."

~~<Oh, I will. >~~ And he switched off.

I glanced at Wedge and he shrugged, "He’s your fiancée. I’m only his Uncle. I have no idea what he has planned, but I’m sure whatever Jag has planned, you’re going to have a wonderful evening."

I nodded, stood up and walked out of the sim room as I bumped into a young woman with black hair. She smiled and walked on into the simulator, as I head to the lounge to see my fiancée.

The woman casually walked into the sim room, scanning over the various pilots until her eyes rested on a lone man sitting at a table, drinking some caf and reading over a progress report. She sighed, walked over, biting her lip as she approached him. The last time she had seen him, they were children and now, almost a decade later, there they were again. She cleared her throat, "Excuse me. Are you Wedge Antilles?"

Wedge gazed up at the woman. He almost didn’t even recognize her. It had been so many years, but he couldn’t dispute the resemblance. She looked exactly like his mother when she was alive. She was speechless, biting her lower lip again, "I didn’t mean to interrupt you, Commander --- I, uh, it’s been a long time."

He stood up, leaned over and hugged the woman. She smiled, "It’s good to see you, Syal." Wedge let go and smiled back at her. He had so many questions; so much he wanted to say to her.

"Soontir and I had been keeping in touch with each other, since he left Chiss to look for Jag. Where is he?" Syal explained.

Wedge frowned momentarily, "You don’t know then?"

She shrugged, "Know what? Wedge, what is it?"

Before he could reply, the Baron arrived. He saw Wedge and Syal together and smiled, walking casually over to the two. "Hello, sweetheart." He bent over and kissed her cheek, smiling at Wedge. "Happy to see your sister, Wedge?"

Syal smiled, "Wedge was about to tell me something about Jag."

The two men exchanged glances, glares it seemed like, arguing on whether to tell her some secret. Wedge won. "Um, tell you that – do you know about the Skywalker-Solo family?"

"Of course, I do. I’ve been keeping track of everything while I’ve been gone. Chiss still gets the HoloNet. What about them?"

I scowled, walking into the dark lounge. Whatever Jag had planned, I honestly didn’t want to hurt myself before I got to him. I thought about igniting my lightsaber but remembered weapons aren’t allowed in the mess hall. I glanced around, my hand fumbling the switch. I hadn’t even touched it when the lights turned on automatically, and in the center of the room, was Jag with a dinner-picnic and wine. I smiled, walked over and kissed him before looking around at the food he had prepared. "What is all this?"

He shrugged, "I figured it had been a long time since we had actually been on a date. And the first time, it wasn’t the best, well, the first part anyway. This is to make up for that."

Jag leaned down and kissed me again. "Hmm. I was wandering what you were up too. Now, I know." I mused, sitting down on the blanket.

"It was difficult. I had to get approval from the mess hall cook, time off from the squadron, cooks to help me, decorators – it wasn’t easy but I managed. I wanted tonight to be perfect."

I frowned slightly, taking a bite of some food, "And our first date wasn’t?"

"The first part of the first date; the second part was great. I enjoyed giving you a flight lesson in the cockpit of an X-wing." He paused, smiling, "especially in such closed quarters."

I blushed, "Ya know, I was thinking about the wedding, where should we have it? I mean we have lots of options. We could have it on Coruscant, Yavin 4 or on Chiss."

Jag shrugged, "Doesn’t matter." I frowned again, and he smiled, "Doesn’t matter as long I’m standing across from you on the altar, and you become Mrs. Jaina Solo-Fel."

"You’re sweet, but it matters. Thing of it is – I don’t want it to be a big wedding; friends and family is fine. No senators, reporters and stuff; especially the Senators. I don’t want my wedding to be the grounds for a political battle." Jag smiled at me again. "What?"

"Our wedding. It is your wedding, but it’s our wedding, Sticks." He paused, "but you’re right. It should be private; only family and friends. No public." Jag’s eyes narrowed, "Oh by the way, I talked to my dad and he told me, my mom might be able to come. She may already be here."

I froze, "Syal here? I mean, I want her here – Wedge wants her here. Are you sure he heard right? Of course, he probably heard right." Jag raised an eyebrow and I calmed down, "And I’ll stop babbling now."

He shrugged, "It’s only a possibility. I would love for her to be here too, and for you to meet your future brother-in-laws."

"Sounds like a plan." I mused, as my hand slipped on top of Jag’s.

>>TBC

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Jaina’s Journal_Entry_22

"Family"

By obi’s girl

Syal looked back at Soontir, expecting him to explain what was going on. Wedge was about to say something else but Valis entered the sim room, greeted several of the pilots and walked over. He nodded to Wedge and Soontir, standing in between the two. Syal perked up a little bit when she recognized the young Chiss, "Valis, is that you?"

Wedge frowned, looking confused then smiled, "Don’t tell me Valis was your spy while you were on Chiss?"

The Chiss pilot nodded no, "Of course, I wasn’t. Jag asked me to come, so I did. We go way back. Syal, what are you doing here?"

She shrugged, "I don’t really know why I’m here but I had this urge to be here. Does that make any sense?"

Wedge laughed, "It does, you have no idea."

"Hmm. So what was it you were going to say, Wedge?" she asked but had to be stopped again when Jag and I entered, laughing. Jag almost froze when he saw his mom. Of course, I had no idea whom this woman was because I had never met Syal Antilles before.

I shook Jag, trying to contain my laughter as he finally came back to reality. I looked back at me, pulling me forward towards the group. I smiled hello at Wedge, Valis and Soontir but frowned when I saw the woman. I saw her before. I bumped into her in the hall; I didn’t really take recognition of her before but now, something told me, I should have. What surprised me even more was when Jag hugged the woman and kissed her cheek. I felt like a complete idiot, I had no idea whom this woman but when she kissed Soontir it came to me! Syal Antilles. Oh Sithspawn!

But to be sure, I figured I’d ask before making myself look like an idiot. If she were Syal Antilles, this woman would be my future mother-in-law. "Um, excuse me – who are you?"

She smiled, "Syal Antilles, Wedge’s sister. Your name?"

I couldn’t even form words looking at the woman that was Jag’s mother and Wedge’s lost sister. I bumped into her in the hallway, running off to meet with her son. I laughed to myself, seeing my older self tell how I originally met Syal Antilles – almost knocking her over to meet with her son, my fiancée, Jagged Fel! It was a very funny prospect. But I couldn’t help myself. I laughed anyway, causing her to frown and Jag to look confused and hurt. "I’m sorry, Jag – it’s just we already met." I added, between laughs and trying to breathe.

"How can that be? As far as I know, you never met before this ---." Jag started but Syal started to laugh as well, remembering our brief encounter in the hallway. "Mom?"

"Jag, she’s right. We met already. She was running out of the sim room and we bumped into each other but thought nothing of it." Syal explained, stifling back some more laughs.

Wedge laughed as well, "Well, I guess there’s no need for introductions ---."

I waved my hand no, "She said we bumped into each other Wedge. She didn’t say we said, ‘hello, who are you?’" I formally extended my hand to Syal, after catching my breath. "Jaina Solo...Lieutenant."

She took my hand graciously, remembering something else. "You aren’t by any chance related to Han Solo are you?"

"Yeah, he’s my father. You’ve heard of our family?" I asked, though not really surprised. The Solo-Skywalker name was already legendary before my brothers and I was born. We’re really just one extra branch to our extensive family tree.

"Oh yes. Even on Chiss, I still manage to keep track of what’s happening here. This place, it was my home for a time before I had to leave."

Suddenly Wedge became quiet but Jag smiled, hugging my shoulder. "Mom, there’s something you should know – Lieutenant Solo and I, well, we’re engaged!" Syal looked at her brother and he nodded yes, grinning. She looked at her husband then back at her son and I. I didn’t need to read her emotions to know she was shocked and overwhelmed. I saw it in her face. "Mom, aren’t you going to congratulate us?" Jag glanced at me and I lowered my eyes, falling silent.

"Mrs. Antilles...?" I asked. "Are you okay?"

She smiled hopefully, "You caught me totally off guard, Jag. Of course, I’m happy for you." Hugging him. I smiled, glancing at Wedge. "When did you two get engaged, better question, how long has this romance been going on?"

I laughed again, settling down at the table. "From the start? Well, I beat him in a sparring match. Pinned him on the ground and told him, ‘we’re equals, no more competitions’. But your son, he’s kinda stubborn when it comes to who’s the stronger sex."

"I’m stubborn?" Jag question, placing his fists on his waist, "I think the word you’re looking for is competitive, Sticks." He smiled at Syal, wrapping his arms around my waist. "I still don’t know how good you are during flight sims..."

I nodded my head, "Ah huh, Jag. Let me spare you the humiliation, ‘cause I tell you right now, I would kick your butt!" I glanced at Syal and she laughed, "Well, I would." I mused.

"I know you would, Jaina." Wedge laughed, "Um..." He started to say something but nodded to Syal. I smiled back, understanding.

They really didn’t have a proper reunion before Jag and I decided to stop by and say hello. I nodded to Jag we leave. He smiled good-bye at Syal and Wedge, following me out of the sim room. Soontir smiled and kissed his wife before leaving himself, mumbling something about having a meeting with some one or some important person.

Syal was quiet a moment, not really sure what to say to her brother. It had been a long time, really long time. She smiled, remembering going over the scenario of meeting Wedge after so many years and what she would tell him, but now, she didn’t really know what to say to him.

Wedge scratched his head, leaning back on the wall, sticking his hands in his pockets. "Why don’t we get out of here and talk in private?"

She nodded all right and followed her brother out of the sim room. On the way, she occasionally glanced at him and smiled though she was still timid and shy. Wedge led her to his office and gestured she sit down. Syal smiled thanks and took a seat, her eyes wandering around the office. There wasn’t even a picture frame of his family, or her family rather.

Wedge sighed, sitting down on his desk chair, "How have you been?"

"I have a family, don’t I?" Syal paused a moment, frowning slightly, "Look Wedge, I’m sorry I left before you even got a chance to know me but it was my dream to be a singer, or entertainer of some sort...I was young – I didn’t know any better." Syal looked down frowning, "You probably hate me for leaving; I wouldn’t blame you."

"Syal, you’re departure hurt me, but I don’t hate you and I don’t blame you. You’re family, and in the past, I’ve learned family is the most important thing in the universe." Wedge smiled, "And now you’ll get the chance to be a part of one of the most legendary families in the galaxy." She laughed, nodding to the empty walls and desk. He smiled, "I have this office on loan. I have some stuff in my quarters here on Coruscant but I’m been too busy to actually grab them and lay them out."

Syal nodded, smiling, "What’s your family like, Wedge? I imagine I have some nephews and nieces to meet."

He shrugged, "Oh you do. They’re not here right now but they’ll be here once the wedding date gets closer. I actually named my daughter after you."

She nodded, looking away briefly, crying. Wedge frowned, abruptly sitting up and placing his hand on hers. "I’m sorry. I really am sorry. I know you said you don’t blame me for leaving, but I just feel so horrible about leaving. You never even had the chance to get to know me, and I left. I’m so sorry, Wedge."

Wedge stood up and knelt down next to her, smiling, "I’m not a mean person, Syal, but I am your brother and forbid to blame yourself for something like this..."

Syal nodded, standing up, "I left you Wedge! Be angry with me! Yell at me! Please. It’s the only way I’ll feel better..."

"I won’t. I won’t because I’m grateful you’re here and the last thing I want is to drive you away again." He mused. "I won’t tell you it was a mistake that you left or that you were insensitive. It was your choice and from the looks of things, you were happy. You had a son, a family, a life – I won’t condone you for that."

She laughed lightly, looking at him, "Ya know, they always asked about you, when they were younger. They wanted to know everything about their legendary Uncle...and Jag, believe it or not, he actually knew about Jaina before he met her." Wedge frowned but she continued, "Before the war, there had already been stories about the Solo twins and he thought Jaina was pretty. He had a crush on her then, and now they’re engaged...It’s unbelievable."

Wedge looked down, "It’s unbelievable you’re here." He paused, "I’m sorry but can you stay awhile? I mean, can you stay here after the wedding or will you go back to Chiss?"

"I don’t really know, but why we take it one step at a time." Syal advised and for a moment, Wedge saw their mother in her eyes.

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Jaina’s Journal_Entry_23

“Planning”

By obi’s girl

I smiled one more time at Jag as I punched in the code for my quarters in the pilot’s hall. I hesitated a moment, feeling something familiar but let the feeling slip as the door whooshed open and I nodded Jag come inside. I wrapped my arms around his neck, our mouths finding their way to the other.

Even if it was dark, I know I felt his hand slip off my jacket and as it started for my blouse, the light flickered on. I rolled my eyes – now was not the time for any more surprises. Jag nodded to someone behind me as I swirled around, confronting my parents.

I scowled, facing my aunt Mara, Uncle Luke and parents. Usually I would be thrilled to see them but I really wanted this time with Jag. I shrugged, straightening my shirt. “What are you guys doing here? Isn’t it late?”

Luke nodded to Leia. She stepped forward, taking my hands in hers and all of the sudden I could feel her motherly essence and a whole speech about me growing up so fast. I almost laughed about that but remembered I wasn’t alone. “Jaina, you’re engaged to be married which means – something has to be done about the wedding. There’s so much to do and take care of...”

I scowled, waving my hand, “That’s great mom and I look forward to it but it’s kinda late...”

“I already talked to Gavin and he said you’re off, Jag too. You’re free to plan your wedding. Now, I have a few ideas but I wanted to run them by you first...” mom started. I glanced at my Uncle Luke, dad and Mara. Mara only grunted. I nodded to Jag.

He stepped forward, putting his hands on my shoulders. “Maybe tonight is a bit late. I mean, we’re all tired I’m sure and we could always work something our during the day.”

During the day? That means mom’s going to want me to wake-up early and have breakfast with and over breakfast, talk about decorations and stuff. Thanks, honey. Of course, Jag and I could always elope and then we wouldn’t have to worry about the fancy stuff.

“Sleep tonight. I’ll meet you at the apartment tomorrow and we’ll have breakfast and make plans.” Mom instructed, as she nodded to Han and my Uncle Luke. They rolled their eyes and took Jag aside. I frowned. “Oh don’t worry about Jag. Your father and Uncle Luke are going to have a talk with him; it may take all night.”

Talk? Oh Sithspawn! I worriedly glanced at mom. I really didn’t my fiancée terrified of my family and me. “Mom?”

Leia smiled back at her, “Don’t worry Jaina. Han and Luke are just going to talk. Nothing else...right Han?”

The Corellian turned and shrugged, “Sure.” He smiled the goofiest smile I had ever seen and left the apartment with Jag.

Mom and I looked at my Uncle and he nodded, “Don’t worry. I’ll make sure Han doesn’t do anything to scare him.” And the Jedi Master left.

Leia rolled her eyes, nodding to Mara. The woman scowled, removing herself from the shadows. “No offense Leia but I have to rest...”

“What about Jaina? You’re still coming to the breakfast tomorrow, aren’t you?” she asked, almost snarling.

I smiled to humor her and she nodded yes, leaving. “Oh mom, before I forget – there’s something you should know. Wedge’s sister, Syal, she’s here.” Leia raised an eyebrow; suspicious I only said that to get rid of her. Actually, that the reason why I said it. I tired and I need my beauty sleep. “Seriously, I met her in the sim room. She and Wedge are talking in his office, I think.”

As Wedge Antilles escorted his sister to her husbands’ quarters in the pilot’s hall, the two of them bumped into Jag, Han and Luke. Han had a lopsided grin on his face and Jag looked really worried. “Han, where are you taking Jag? He looks horrified.”

“The Underworld. We’re gonna have a little chat. Future son-in-law to future father in law.” Han reasoned,

Luke nodded to him, “Jaina’s with Leia, in her quarters. Probably still there, Mara left though. She’s tired.”

“Um Han, it’s kinda late, couldn’t we talk later?” Jag asked, eyeing his Uncle but Han only slapped his back.

“Nonsense, kid. If we talk later, well, you and Jaina would be married already and it would be pointless to ensure you with my wisdom. Now, come on.” Han reasoned pushing him forward down the hall as Luke trailed behind them, nodding his head.

Wedge looked at his sister and the two of them burst out laughing as she walked to the door, calling the Baron. There was no answer, which meant he was still out, probably at some briefing or something. She smiled back at him, “You better check up on Jaina.”

He shrugged, “I wouldn’t worry too much about Jaina. She has a way of getting rid of her parents when she needs them gone.” The two of the fidgeted a moment before Wedge continued, “It’s really great to have you back, Syal.”

“I know. It’s been a long time, a whole decade even.” She laughed as she entered in the password for her quarters. The door swooshed open as she ordered the lights on. “Well, I’ll see you tomorrow little brother.” And she wandered inside.

I felt my body bolt straight up as my alarm went off without warning. Mom, my mind screamed. She did this, I know she did. I grumbled, pulling myself out of bed and stumble towards the fresher. On the way, I glanced at the chrono. It wasn’t even afternoon. It was morning, probably still dark out. Hmmm. Maybe there’s still time for Jag and I to elope.

Wedge took another sip of his caf as he head towards the lounge and almost ran me over. He laughed, “Sorry Sticks. Where are off to in a hurry, this morning?”

I shrugged, “Probably the same place you’re going, the lounge. My mom set my alarm last night, which means she’s expecting me for breakfast and to talk some things over about the wedding, no doubt.”

“And you’re not particularly excited about that? Jaina, it’s your wedding.” Wedge cried as the two of us entered the lounge.

“I know. I want it to be perfect, but chances are, it’s not going to be perfect which means something big is bound to happen. It’s sort of a tradition. Big bad crashing the party.” I reasoned.

Wedge frowned, confronting mom, Iella, Syal and Mara, sitting together around a circular table, chatting away. Correction, Iella and Leia were chatting away; Syal simply sat back listening, smiling while Mara slouched on the chair. “Hey.” The two women smiled, looking at us as Syal grabbed two more chairs. “What are you guys talking about?”

Leia shrugged, “Just some ideas for your wedding. Wanna hear them?”

“Why now.” I answered.

Syal sat forward, smiling, “When you and Jag look for a place to hold the ceremony, can I come along?”

“Sure. I don’t think that will be a problem.” Syal smiled back okay, then once again, sat back next to Mara. “Your ideas?”

“You have a couple choices about the location. You can have it here, on Coruscant, or Yavin 4. If you choose Yavin, that’s fine. It’s beautiful there and I’m sure Luke wouldn’t disagree.” Leia paused briefly, “And there’s also the issue of her maid of honor and flower girls. Do you have anyone in mind?”

I shrugged, “What about Tenel Ka for maid of honor. She’s my best friend and maid of honor should be your best friend.”

“And flower girls?”

“I don’t know. Everybody I know is either my age or older than me.” I added.

Syal leaned forward a bit, interrupting again, “Two of Jag’s brother’s are already married and have two girls.”

“I guess that takes care of that. I better go and make sure Jag’s all right.” I joked, standing up but froze, sensing something else. I turned back to them, frowning, “You have more ideas don’t you?”

Iella nodded yes, “Taking care of location, maid of honor and flower girls is only a portion of the work we have to get done. There’s also food and guests, figuring out the time of day, the reception. Which should only take a few hours.”

I smiled, sitting back down, “Few hours? Great.”

Eloping with Jag doesn’t sound like a bad idea right around now.

The Vong officer knelt before villip as the yammosk slipped from his face to reveal several tattoos and his dark blue eyes. The yammosk shook its head briefly as it changed into the face of Yamin Carr. “Yes?” it answered.

“Commander, I have some news. The Jedi are preparing for some type of ceremony called a “wedding”, a joining of two lovers. They are distracted – if you wish to attack, you must attack on the day of the ceremony.” The Vong reported as Carr flinched.

He growled showing his crude teeth, “I give the orders, not you! I will think on it. Continue to monitor this gathering and take note of who comes to it. If there are more Jedi coming...It will be even better.”

The Vong nodded as the face on the villip disappeared and the Vong stood up, morphing into a human Jedi with dark black hair and blue eyes – Zekk.

As soon as mother was finished going over plans for my wedding, I left promptly to meet up with Jag. I stopped, looking back at Wedge and Syal. She said good-bye to him before catching with me. I rolled my eyes. More plans, no doubt. Eloping to me really sounded like the best plan.

She smiled at me, “Jaina, if you’re meeting with my son, I’ll come with you. We need to work out a schedule to look at places for the ceremony.”

Schedule? I wander if planning for mom and dad’s wedding was ever this complicated and aggravating. I shrugged, “Sure. Come on.” I mumbled, gesturing she follow me.

Luke Skywalker held Mara as she rested in his arms. She was able to leave early from planning, after complaining about “back pains” which was non- existent. Luke was a bit troubled that Mara lied to get out of leaving his niece’s wedding planning but understood from her tone, that she really didn’t enjoy it. Luke rested hand on her belly and smiled. Mara looked back at him, “Feel anything new?”

He shrugged, “Nothing. Maybe he’s sleeping.”

She flinched, her eyes narrowing, “I thought we agreed not to speculate our child’s gender?”

Luke smiled, kissing her cheek, “If we don’t speculate, we won’t know what clothes to buy, what colors to bring in to paint a nursery; not to mention – decorating.”

Mara laughed, snuggling his chest, “Already thinking about a nursery? You really are ready for this father business.”

“Well, we’ve waited a long time; a very, very, very long time.” Luke joked, kissing her shoulder.

She rolled her eyes, smiling contentedly, “You get like this all the time, and we’ll have more children than we can count.” Luke hissed, continuing to kiss her neck but frowned when someone beeped their door. Both growled, glaring at the door. Mara rose from the bed, sulking, “I’ll make sure to get rid of them.”

Luke laughed, “Not violently, Mara. The last thing we want is a dead man laying around our apartment.”

She turned to him, glaring before answering the door. The lighting was a bit dark, so she ordered the lights on completely. Brown tunic, lightsaber and brown boots. Mara almost screamed but didn’t, except throw her arms around her visitor. “Sithspawn, Corran! What are you doing here?”

He shrugged, “I heard through connections that Wedge’s sister was here and that Jaina’s engaged to Wedge’s nephew, a Jagged Fel.”

Mara only laughed, gesturing he come in. “Your source is pretty close to the mark, Corran. Is Mirax here with you? The kids?”

“Only me,” he replied, looking down briefly, “but I can see you’re in the process of having on yourself. When did this miracle happen?”

“Unexpectedly – like your visit Corran.” Luke said, surprising his old friend. Both men hugged, “It’s good to have you back,”

Corran smiled back, sitting down on one of the counter stools. “It’s good to be back. Besides, I couldn’t keep away with all the new events happening back here. Corellia can get pretty boring sometimes.”

Luke and Mara sat down opposite him, looking concerned. “Is Han’s cousin still being praised as a hero?” Mara asked.

“Unfortunately yes. They just had another dedication to him last weekend. Another dedication to add to a long list of praises, he doesn’t deserve.” Corran mused, “So, what’s the story with Jaina’s fiancée?”

“Jag is Wedge’s nephew; he’s Syal’s son. Which means when she and Jag are married, Wedge will be an official part of the legendary Skywalker-Solo family.” Luke reasoned, scratching his chin, “It’s been hard to actually get this fair for those two. Zekk was here recently; he may still be. He was trying to win Jaina back but he lucked out. She’s in love with Jag.”

Corran nodded, “And Syal? Did she know about her son’s romance with Jaina?”

Mara shook her head no, laughing, “Actually, it’s funny because when Jag called her to meet him in the lounge, she ran into Syal but didn’t know it was her. They didn’t actually meet until later when she and Jag returned to the sim room.” She paused, “You can ask Jaina for the story.”

“I will when I meet up with her. I take it she’s still in the Squadron, then?”

“She is, but she’s temporarily off, planning for the wedding.” Luke replied, “The planning session she had with Leia, Iella, Mara and Syal is over.”

Corran eyed his friend, whom only shrugged, “I complained of back pains, so I got to leave early. Five hours early. Leia, she just wouldn’t stop talking. Even Jaina couldn’t add any ideas because she kept on rambling. Syal just sat back, listening to Iella and Leia had their own conversation about details.”

He laughed, “And Wedge?”

“He tried to maneuver himself out but Iella kept glaring at him to stay, and he reluctantly obeyed. He’s probably in his office now, thankful that whole dreadful planning session is over. I know, I am.” Mara finished, “How are the kids? Mirax?”

“They’re fine. We’re actually staying with Booster as guests. But swear as soon as he can, he’ll kick us out, I’m sure of it.” The Corellian’s smile brightened, “Mara, boy or girl?”

She shrugged, nodding to Luke, “At this point, we’re not speculating. We – I was surprised to find I was pregnant; we weren’t expecting this. But I guess the Force had other plans.”

“When the due date supposed to be?”

Luke and Mara looked at each other, shrugging as Luke placed his right hand on hers, “We didn’t really look into that. Goes along with the whole surprise scenario. Mara could always use the Force to figure that question out, but she’s refused to.”

“I haven’t refused; I’m just still a little weak from the disease and hello, this kid eats so much in a day, I’m exhausted by dinner time I don’t want to move!”

“Well, the next generation of the Solo legacy wouldn’t be complete without a Skywalker in the mix. Congratulations.”

I glanced back at Syal one more time before keying in my entry code for my apartment, “Are you sure you want to come with us? I mean, wouldn’t you rather continue planning with my mother and Iella?”

She nodded no, “No. I don’t think those two needs any help in that department. Your mother is so enthusiastic about the wedding. I don’t think she’d listen to anyone else.”

I laughed, scratching my head, “Ha. Yeah, that’s true. I couldn’t even tell her my ideas and it’s my wedding.”

Syal laughed, “You’ll get your chance, Jaina. I promise.”

I smiled thanks before the door swooshed open. I didn’t spot Jag anywhere, something that worried me immediately. What if he’s still in the UnderWorld? I bit my lip, resting my jacket on the couch as I ran about the apartment, searching for him. After sometime, I asked the computer, “Computer, where’s Jagged Fel?”

“Jagged Fel is in the UnderWorld.”

I groaned, looking back at Syal. She frowned slightly. I nodded, grabbing my jacket again and her arm, “Let’s just hope he’s still alive.” I mused.

A few hours later, Syal and I were inside the UnderWorld, a hidden gambling casino, in the depths of Coruscant. Not many people knew about the place because it was buried, literally, but those that did, well, either lost their lives in the place or their money. I just hope I didn’t lose, Jag. After describing him to the bartender, he directed us to a small booth in the back.

Jag was slumped over the table; Han was long gone but Uncle Luke had stayed him to make sure no body went near him. I smiled thanks to my uncle Luke as I scooted in the booth and held Jag’s head. He was out cold, slobbing all over the table and his breath smelled of Corellian ale.

I waved my hand over my face, propping him up and shaking his shoulders, “Jag, honey, wake up.” I shook him a couple times before glancing back at Syal. Funny, how she hadn’t said anything during this adventure. That couldn’t be a good thing. I scowled, slapping Jag across the face. Luke looked at me like I was crazy but it worked.

“Jaina? Mom?” he cried, his eyes half-open.

I smiled yes, “Yeah Jag, we’re both here.” I kissed his forehead and turned back to Luke, “Where’s Dad?”

He shrugged, “Han left awhile ago. Also drunk. He was going to spend time with you but I guess, he maybe, along the way, he got lost.”

My scowl deepened, “Wonderful. I have a drunk fiancé and a father Sith knows where and a mother who won’t even let me plan my own wedding!” I cried, aloud. Everybody in the cantina stopped what they were doing and stared at me.

I rolled my eyes, glancing at Luke again, “Help me get Jag out of here.” He immediately rushed over to my side as I dragged Jag out from the booth and slid his right arm over Luke’s shoulder.

Instead of going directly back to my apartment, we made a side-trip over to moms’. If my thinking was right, dad would be there, sulking over a Sith large headache. I was right. I smiled, resting Jag on the couch as I confronted Dad, slobbing over the table as Jag had. Luke had warned me to control my anger but now, I was the edge of madness.

First, I couldn’t even plan my own wedding because it was being planned for me and second, my fiancé is out cold all over the couch – same as father dearest. Daddy dearest.

Mom saw me come in and was about to say hi but I glared at her, telling her to be silent. I gestured that Luke come over. I nodded for him to help me take Dad to the fresher. He looked at me suspiciously but didn’t question me. We lugged Han over the fresher, turned on the water, fixing it to cold and removed his jacket and shirt. I turned on the water, setting it on ‘gradual wash’ then closed the door.

We stood outside for a few minutes before hearing a high-pitched scream, “COOOLLLLDDDD! COOOOLLLLLDDDD! J-JJ-JJAI-NNNA!”

I laughed crazily then walked over and picked up Jag from the couch and left, as mom simply laughed, amused by my actions but not surprised.

I pulled my bed cover of Jag’s body and turned off the lights. I figured I’d let him sleep off his intoxication. Hopefully, he would be awake later and more coherent. I met Syal in the main, where sat down at the table, drinking some caf. It was late. The planning session with mom had taken up most of the morning and we were both tired. I stretched my arms, plopping down on another stool.

“Wild day, huh?” I mused.

She only laughed, patting my hand, “Don’t worry about looking for a place tonight, Jaina. I’ll come by tomorrow when things are less hectic. And I won’t even set your alarm clock. You can sleep in.”

“Thanks. I really need it. The alarm this morning, I wasn’t ready for that… and mom. How much caf did she have before I came?”

“I don’t know; I think she was just hyped. You’re her oldest daughter and soon, you’ll be a married woman. It’s a big thing.” Syal added, “Aren’t you excited?”

I frowned, propping up an arm to rest my chin in, “To be honest, not as excited as I should be. The first time the engagement was announced, I wasn’t even ready. The second time was great, with the exception of my Jacen coming in making out with an older woman – it’s just become too much. Completely overwhelming.”

Syal laughed, “There’s certainly never a dull moment around here.”

I frowned, “And what’s worse? What if something goes wrong during the wedding? There are a number of things that could happen. And I’m not just talking about decorations. Un-welcomed guests.”

She nodded, “Hmm. I understand. A couple things could go wrong there. Vong, for one.”

“…And my ex-boyfriend. He’s probably still here; I wouldn’t doubt it. Probably lurking around somewhere in the shadows, something he’s really good at.”

“Ex-boyfriends can be a problem. But what about your Aunt Mara? It looks like she’s about ready to deliver.” Syal added, as I hid my head in my arms, moaning.

She stood up and poured me some caf as I continued, fidgeting, “I know everything may not go smoothly. I don’t expect them too.”

“You shouldn’t put so much stress on yourself. That’s what wedding planners are for – your mother, Iella and me.” She paused, “We’ll take care of everything.”

Suddenly, a thought dawned on me, “Hey, why do you want to come with us to looking for a place, anyway? I mean, I know you said you wanted the best for us but what’s the real reason?”

Syal leaned over the table, whispering, “To be honest, I want to make sure the place you pick has good, no, not good, excellent acoustics.”

Acoustics? Why would that…? I gaped, smiling, “You’re going too – sing for my wedding?!”

“Hush! It was supposed to be a surprise wedding present, but I guess this is one thing your mom and Iella can’t touch. It’s your present if you want me to sing.”

I nodded yes, “Absolutely yes! Of course. Syal, thank you.” I grabbed her a huge hug, “Thank you, thank you!”

“Hey, what’s going on here? What’s all the yelling about? My head still hurts.” Jag cried, coming out of the bedroom. I ran over to his side, hugged and kissed his cheek. “What’s going on, Sticks?”

“Your mother is going to sing at our wedding!” I cried.

Jag’s eyes shot up, staring at his mom. “Sing? But mom, you haven’t written anything in years…or even sung…”

She waved her hand, smiling, “Don’t worry about it. And I have written some songs. It’s the type of habit you can’t break. I’ve written a couple – if I change the lyrics a little bit it could work. But besides the place, I need back up singers. My voice isn’t what it used to be.”

I nodded yes, “We’ll hold auditions for you. You can supervise them of course. Syal thanks again.”

`````````````````````

Jaina’s Journal_Entry_24

“Your Song”

By Obi’s Girl

Disclaimer: Fallin’ is by Alicia Keys, and whatever other songs I may use in the future development of the series, does not belong to me.

Author’s Note: This is probably one of the longest chapters of the series. Enjoy!

I moaned, sleepily lifting my head from my counter. It was my counter, wasn’t it? Never mind. I shrugged off the feeling, stretching my arms and legs. I groaned, looking around. It was my apartment. I expected to see Jag and Syal talking quietly on the couch or something, but they weren’t there.

I smiled, having Syal Antilles, as my mother in law didn’t seem so bad. Actually, I felt great relief. Had it been someone else, I would probably feel a little uncomfortable. At least with Syal, I feel some connection to her.

“Good morning, sweet heart.” A voice called from my doorway. Jag stood, leaning against the frame with a grin on his face. I tilted my head, looking past him. Syal was standing behind him, almost like a shadow. I frowned slightly, but let it go as Jag entered and wrapped his arms around my waist, kissing my cheek, “Ready to go?”

I shrugged, my mind still not awake. “Ready to go where? Not another planning session, I hope.”

He nodded, “No. From now on, we don’t have to worry about it.” Jag paused, allowing his mother to pass, “Actually, what we have to worry about now is far more important. Now, we have to look for the location.”

My frown deepened and mentally, I felt like kicking myself.

“So I guess we’ll have to look for places on Coruscant first.” I mused as drove us - to somewhere. To be honest, I didn’t even know what he had in mind. I tried to get him to say something, but he refused. Probably his Chiss side.

He only smiled, “It’s a surprise, Sticks. After you passed out last night, I checked around, asking a few favors about available spaces around Coruscant.”

Favors? I shrugged, glancing back at Syal. She was looking at the buildings we passed, totally oblivious to what we were talking about. I looked back at Jag, lowering my voice, “Hey, is your mom okay? She’s been quiet since you arrived this morning at my apartment.”

Jag glanced back at his mom, and then looked at me, “It’s been awhile since she’s been on Coruscant, Sticks. The reunion with Wedge was hard; she hadn’t seen him for most of her life.”

I frowned, slouching, “I guess.” I smiled again, snuggling the crook of his neck.

Zekk wandered down the squadron hallway, passing several of quarters but stopped when he came upon my quarters. He glanced around before unlocking the door and stepping inside. He flipped on the lights using the Force and was surprised when he found there was nothing decorative about the place. It was normal, plain almost. A counter, small kitchen, a circular-like table in the main room, surrounded by three chairs and a small vase in the middle. A blue couch behind the table and beyond that, locked doors that he supposed to be my sleeping quarters.

Sleeping quarters. Zekk smiled, approaching the small door. It opened even without him coming it. Again, he glanced around, memorizing everything as it was. He sat down on the bed. The covers smelled of me. He grasped them, feeling the fabric. Opposite the bed was a closet and fresher. On the right side of the door was a dresser, lamp and a brown chest, in the corner.

The Jedi used the Force, pulling the chest so it was right in front of him. He flipped it open. Just what he thought - clothes, clothes, accessories and more clothes. He rolled his eyes, typical women but it was probably standard procedure in the military to carry as much clothes as possible. At least he believed it was.

He shrugged off the feeling.

“What are you doing here, Jedi?” an angry voice scolded from the doorframe of the bedroom.

Zekk bolted up from the bed, his hands lightly touching his lightsaber. The man stepped forward, holding a blaster in his right hand. It was set to stun but Zekk didn’t feel he was a real threat. Only a security officer and he didn’t look like he was Peace Brigade. As far as he knew, the Republic was against the Peace Brigade. “Can I help you, officer?”

He nodded, “I’m Captain Farrell, security, and you’re under arrest, Jedi.”

Zekk scowled, crossing his arms, “On what charges? I haven’t done anything serious. Unless you consider being a Jedi a serious crime.”

The officer’s eyebrow’s furrowed, removing some cuffs from his belt, “A smart-mouthed Jedi, huh?” He paused, huffing, “Breaking and entering, for one and two…conspiring against the Republic.”

Conspiring? Before he could protest against the accusation, the officer placed handcuffs around his wrists and escorted him to security.

I gazed up at the large building before me. Jag wasn’t kidding when he said he called in a few favors. This place was huge! I glanced over at him. He only smirked, taking my hand, leading me towards the entrance as I continued to stare. Syal followed behind me, not really looking up. After sometime, I looked back at Jag. He shrugged, “The inside is smaller, I promise you. It just looks big on the outside.”

I nodded okay as a short, chubby, nicely dressed blue alien walked up to us with a broad smile on his face. “Colonel Fel, welcome. Welcome!” He turned me, extending his hand, which was one of eight. Four arms on both sides. “And you must be Jaina Solo, the fiancée. Welcome. Welcome.”

I looked back at Jag but he only nodded, as the alien gestured we sit down. Syal followed behind us for a time but stopped, staring at the black piano in the front of the church. Jag leaned over, nudging me. I smiled back, sitting down.

“My name is Tevron Ki, Coordinator and Booking. I am pleased our establishment is one of your many choices to hold your wedding. Have you selected a date, yet?”

We both shrugged, as I leaned forward, glancing at Syal, “Not really. We’re just looking at places first. And possible off-planet.”

Tevron smiled again, “Really? Any ideas where? I know a fabulous catering company. Just fabulous!”

Jag laughed, “We’re leaving that up to our family. They seem to be planning this wedding more than we get to.”

He frowned, snidely remarking, “You really should have say on what you want. They maybe your family, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they know your tastes.” Tevron froze, looking back at Syal as she seated herself on the piano chair. Jag and I looked back as she began to play.

Her fingers lightly touched the keys as if she wasn’t even playing at all. I knew Syal was a singer before she married Jag’s father and that she left the Republic, which hurt Wedge immensely but he pretty much kept his sister secret from everyone. I nodded watching Syal as she began to hum a tune, humming that soon became singing.

“I keeeeeeep on fallin’ in and out of love with you. Sometimes I love ya; sometimes you make me feel blue. Sometimes I feel good; At times I feel used. I feel you darlin'

Makes me so confused…” She paused, looking back at us.

She smiled, quietly getting up from the piano sitting down on another chair, next to Jag. If Tevron weren’t in the room, I’d probably get down on my knees and hug Syal. Her voice is unbelievable! Even if it was just part of a song, I already had a picture in my head of what my wedding would be like and it was a good picture.

Tevron cleared his throat, smiling at Syal. “You have a beautiful voice, Mrs. Antilles. You’re Jag’s mother, right? Wedge Antilles’ sister?”

She nodded yes, extending her hand to the alien but frowned when she realized he had eight hands. He laughed, waving three hands. “Oh, don’t worry about it. Most humans don’t know how to react to an eight-armed blue alien.”

“My mother’s singing at the wedding. It’s her wedding present to us.” Jag added, smiling at her.

“Wonderful! Wonderful!” he cheered, turning his attention back to Jag and I, “I hope you consider our establishment for your wedding. And if you have questions, feel free to call my office.” He stated, standing up.

I frowned, standing up as well, “You’re leaving? What about the tour?”

He sighed, “I am greatly sorry. Greatly sorry but I have some clients to attend to. They just called at the last minute. They were supposed to come in earlier but they were busy and just rescheduled for this time slot.”

I glanced at Jag, but he only shrugged, extending his hand to the alien, “Thank you again for your time.”

After we left, I leaned over and whispered to Jag, “He was a bit rude. Chauffeuring us out before we even got the chance to look at the place. You think he did it because he recognized I was a Jedi?”

Jag nodded, “I don’t think so. I believed him. He’s a businessman, Sticks. They’re all busy like that…but we have other places to look at it. Like you said, this place is only one of many choices.”

I shrugged, looking back at Jag, “How many places?”

He only smiled, walking passed me and went inside the hover car as Syal followed behind him. I rolled my eyes, following her.

Zekk huffed tiredly, squinting under the dim light of the interrogation room of the Coruscant Security headquarters. He had been at the headquarters for about three standard hours, answering all questions he possibly could but the captain refused to his questions and Zekk wasn’t about to use the Force to pry the information out of him.

“I told you --- I’m not involved in some conspiracy against the Republic. True, I broke into Lieutenant Solo’s quarters but she’s an old friend of mine. But I swear, I’m not a traitor.”

The captain grunted as another officer entered with a mug of caf. From the markings on his collar, the officer looked to be a lieutenant but Zekk could have been wrong. “Captain, the tape is ready.”

The Captain nodded, grabbing hold of Zekk’s arms, escorting him to another room. The lieutenant followed quietly, sipping his caf. A woman stood on the right of the Holovid, carrying a data pad. She smiled warmly at Zekk but he only scowled as the lieutenant pushed play on the Holovid.

Zekk relaxed a bit as he watched the Holovid. For a moment, he didn’t even recognize who was talking to the villip but the camera in the room, zoomed in closer and he was shocked to discover it was he! Well, not really him but a clone or something. Of course, Zekk knew the Republic banned cloning centuries ago, but nevertheless, the man talking to the villip was him and in Vong. Vong language.

It couldn’t be him. Zekk didn’t know Vong. It had to be a shaper; it was the only explanation. The dark haired woman, standing next to the Holovid paused it and held the data pad close to her chest as she ordered the lights on.

“Our translator analyst. Were you able to figure out what he was telling the villip?” the Captain asked.

She smiled warmly, “Yes, I was. The Vong talking to the Warmaster was a scout. The scout was telling him that the best time to strike Coruscant would be during the wedding of Lieutenant Jaina Solo and Colonel Jagged Fel. However, since Solo and Fel have not selected a date yet, there’s still time to warn them so they can up the security.”

The captain nodded, “Have you contacted Colonel Fel and his fiancé, yet?”

The translator frowned, “No. But I left a message with the Solo family and the Rogue Squadron. Whenever they plan on returning, they’ll be notified no matter what.”

Zekk nodded, “THIS IS CRAZY! That’s not me! I’ve been framed. I mean, what do proof do you have that the Vong spy was me, other than the fact that it’s caught on tape? What about biological data, DNA testing?”

The captain hesitated, looking at the translator. She gasped, “I’ll notify some people upstairs to run a full DNA analysis.” The translator pushed play on the Holovid again, walking out of the office.

Zekk scowled, hiding his face as the Captain nodded to two officers to put him away until the people upstairs were ready.

As the two officers led Zekk through the station and towards the Cell holding area, the Jedi made a split decision against his better judgment, turned on the two. Several of the officers working at their desks, promptly rose from their seats. Pointing their guns in his direction.

“Don’t make thing harder for yourself, Jedi.” One of them stated.

Zekk nodded, his vision blurring. He looked to his right and saw an officer inject a sedative into his neck…

Luke Skywalker calmly stood up from meditation, answering the Holovid call. Mara was in the other room sleeping, so he quickly rushed over. The Jedi Master glanced at the caller ID - Coruscant Security. His first thought was Fey’lya but he didn’t think that was the case. He palmed the ID and the image of an officer appeared. “What can I do for you, Captain?”

“Finally, I was able to contact someone from your family. I guess you’ll have to do. We’re holding a rogue Jedi down here at the station, Master Skywalker. A Jedi by the name of Zekk, but according to our records, he may not be a Jedi at all.”

Luke laughed, waving his hand, “Zekk’s a Jedi, alright. He’s been out of the loop for awhile, reckless but I assure you he is no criminal.”

The Captain only grunted. Luke frowned, asking him the charges. “Breaking and entering an officer’s quarters, but that’s nothing compared to treason.”

Treason? Now, Luke was definitely paying attention. “Treason? Do you have proof?”

“Partial proof. We have a video recording of Zekk, talking to a villip. The face on the villip was identified as the Vong Warmaster. As you can see Master Skywalker, these charges are very serious.” The Captain stated.

Luke huffed, “Have you been able to contact my niece?”

He nodded, “We’ve tried. Her quarter’s are the one he broke into.”

Luke moaned. He knew I would probably kill him for that alone but treason? No Jedi had ever been accused of spying for the enemy. There had to be more to the story. “I’ll call Jaina, then I’ll get back to you, Captain.”

I glanced over at Jag as he suddenly pulled over. Syal sat forward, leaning on my chair as her son answered the COM. It was Luke. I would have smiled hello but I send he wasn’t exactly making a social call. “Master Skywalker, what is it?” Jag asked, glancing at me.

He huffed, “Sorry, for interrupting you on your day off, Jaina, but something serious has happened. Zekk’s been arrested.”

I scowled, “And that’s what you called to tell me? I’m not surprised. I would have placed a restraining order on him if he came near me again.” I nodded, rolling my eyes, “What are the charges?”

“Breaking and entering --- into your quarters.”

I laughed, crossing my arms, “See for that I’d kick his ass, and then turn him over to Coruscant Security.”

Luke nodded, ignoring my sarcasm, “There’s more. He’s also been charged with treason. They have evidence, Jaina, though partial. Zekk was seen talking to a villip, specifically the Warmaster.”

Zekk and the Vong? That really didn’t sound right. He came back to fight against the Vong and to win me over. But the Zekk I was hearing about didn’t match up to the Zekk I knew. But then again, I never really knew Zekk. He always pushed me away. “This has to be a mistake. Zekk would never…”

Luke pointed to himself, “I know he wouldn’t; you know he wouldn’t but there’s strong evidence he is a traitor.” He paused, “I know you and Zekk haven’t exactly been getting along lately but someone needs to go down there and get him out of there.”

“So, I’m stuck with the job to bail him out of this mess, huh?” I mumbled. Luke regretfully nodded as I slouched back, looking at Jag. “I’m really sorry sweetheart…”

Jag nodded, “Don’t worry about it. I already know a location we’ll both love.”

I leaned over, kissed his cheek before switching Luke off without saying goodbye. Vaguely, I saw my Uncle Luke roll his eyes and smile to himself.

Zekk wearily sat up, feeling his neck. He stood up, and walked over to a small mirror in the cell. A rash had already appeared around the puncture. He wasn’t exactly sure where the puncture mark came from until he remembered his failed escape. After that, everything was a blank.

The Jedi looked up as an alternate security guard showed up. He whispered something to the other man, who in turn stood up and followed the younger man outside. Zekk wandered for a moment what was going on but pushed his thoughts aside as Jag, Syal and I entered, followed closely by the two officers. Zekk groaned.

I yelled, facing him. “How could you be so stupid?! If this is your way of getting attention, congratulations! You succeeded! But breaking into my apartment, and going through Sith knows how much of my stuff!” I raised a finger at him, “You’re just lucky you’re behind bars instead of standing right in front of me, Zekk.”

Zekk sulked, rolling his eyes. “I know, I know, Jaina. I screwed up. Can you just get me out of here?”

Before I could tell him anything, the captain appeared with the translator. He huffed, as the translator handed him a data pad. “It turns out Zekk is innocent. The Vong, though closely resembles Zekk, is not Zekk. He’s what is called a Shaper.” The Captain stated.

“Captain, is it possible there are more shapers on Coruscant?” Jag asked, speaking up for the first time since we arrived at the station.

He shrugged, “My men will look into it. If there are Shapers anywhere on Coruscant, we’ll find them before they can do anymore damage.” The Captain nodded to the two security guards. They walked to the cell; one of them slid a data card through the lock and the cell opened. “And we all thought we were safe from those guys. Sorry again for the confusion.”

I smiled, “You were only doing your job, Captain.” He smiled back, leaving the detention area, followed by the two guards.

I turned back to Zekk; it looked like he was about to faint. He wavered a moment before passing out. I caught in my arms and dragged him over to the cell, sitting him down. I glanced back at Jag and Syal. Syal knelt down in front of Zekk, feeling his head. “He’s burning up.”

As she turned his neck over, I saw the red puncture marks and gazed sharply at Syal. I slung his right arm over my shoulder as Syal took the other, helping me drag Zekk from the station.

I glanced back at Jag as Syal helped me Drag Zekk into my apartment. He hadn’t said anything since we left the station. Surely, he realized what happened to Zekk was serious, especially since there was a possibility that some Vong maybe on Coruscant. Syal and I set him down on the couch; she sat with him while I contacted Uncle Luke. I glanced back at Jag again; he was still quiet. I huffed, looking back at the screen expecting to see Luke but Mara answered instead.

<Something wrong, Jaina? > She asked.

I nodded, “Zekk’s been arrested, but he’s here now with Zekk, Syal and I, in my apartment. He was arrested primarily because he was seen talking to a villip…”

Mara waved her hand, frowning, <I know. Luke told me. I’ll tell him you called. > She smiled quaintly and switched off.

I scratched my head, looking back at Zekk. He was still unconscious. I rolled my eyes, walked over to the couch, kneeling before him. I raised my hand, feeling his head. He was warm, not hot, as before. I looked at Syal; she nodded and I stood up, walking back to talk to Jag.

I smiled hi, nodding we go into the other room to talk. I closed the door, turning back to him as he settled on the bed. Zekk hadn’t made a big mess, just move things around; it looked like. And open my trunk. I quickly knelt down and closed it, gazing up at him.

He smiled back, “I’m not mad, Sticks, if that’s what you’re wandering. I knew you were stressed out and I didn’t want to say anything to make matters worse. You wouldn’t appreciate it.”

I rose from the floor, sitting down beside him, smiling, “I’m glad you didn’t and you’re right, I wouldn’t appreciate it. Thanks for not making a scene…back at the station and on the way here.” I leaned over and kissed him softly. He held me, as I clung to his body. I let go slightly, smiling back at him, “Thanks. I needed that.”

“What?”

I nodded, “The hug, you here. It wasn’t long ago…” I paused, looking down, fidgeting, “…I almost lost you, twice.”

He smirked, brushing my bangs, “I know. For a time, it seemed like fate wanted to destroy us.” Jag paused, “I would have hated it if I died that early, leaving you alone. I could never give you that much grief.”

I leaned over and our foreheads touched, “I love you. If you died today or some other time, I wouldn’t love again. Ever. Know that, Jagged Fel.” I mused.

He smirked again, blushing partly and I smiled. “I’m serious. I wouldn’t love again. Or trust my heart to love. I couldn’t stand the pain.” My wandered up to his face, “Would you love again, if you lost me?”

Jag was quiet, obviously carefully thinking over his answer. Then he nodded, “I wouldn’t love again. You’re too important to me, Sticks.”

We were like that for a couple minutes before Syal knocked and we separated. She smiled at both of us, leaning slightly on the door. “He’s awake now, or at least conscious if you want to talk to him. And your Uncle is on his way, too.”

I scratched my head as Jag and I entered the main room. Zekk was conscious, but grumbling to himself. Once he saw me, Zekk rolled his eyes, glaring slightly at Jag. Jag ignored him and sat down quietly as I knelt down in front of Zekk.

"Feel any better?" I asked. He shrugged, still scratching the rash on his neck as I continued, "You shouldn't do that. It could get infected or worse."

Zekk lowered his hand, revealing the small rash now much bigger than it originally was. I leaned over, examining his neck. After looking at, I gestured Jag grab some medicine and some cloth. He laughed slightly as I looked at him again.

I scowled. "What's happening isn't funny, Zekk. First I told you to leave, something you didn't even do, then you got yourself arrested as Jag and I were looking for a suitable place for the wedding and then I find out, you're charged with treason." I huffed, "Should've just left in that cell. Let them charge and punish you, even if it wasn't you talking to that villip."

He only shrugged, "I'm not even sure leaving Coruscant is the best solution right now. They might see it as an escape from authority."

My scowl deepened, standing up, "Well, you're not staying in my apartment. You can just forget about that."

Jag returned with the medicine. He looked at me, and I shrugged, taking some cotton balls from him and dabbing them with the medicine. "I'd still like to know how the Vong were able to slip past security. Security's never been laxed before."

I glanced at Jag, "I'd like to know, too." As he started for the door, he winked back at me. I smiled briefly before returning my attention to Zekk...and Syal. She had been quiet the entire time. "Hey, you okay?"

She smiled, "I'm fine. I was just thinking...thinking about the lyrics for some songs at the wedding." She removed herself from her shadowy corner and left the apartment, humming to herself.

Syal walked quietly into her quarters, ordering the computer to lower the lights to a dim as she sat herself in front of her piano and began to play. She played with a couple chords, still humming to herself. She grabbed a holopad and began to scribble down the lyrics.

Soontir shook his head, watching his wife hum to herself and scribble on her Holo pad. When she told him she would be writing a couple songs for the Solo-Fel wedding, he wasn't exactly sure she could do it. She hadn't written or song anything in years. But he knew, she had a good voice. The voice of an angel, he used to say.

She would sing to their sons and daughter when they were babies. Now the boys were older, they probably didn't even remember their mother's beautiful voice. Soontir leaned off the side door and walked towards the piano, sitting beside her. She smiled at him as she wrote down a line and began to work with the melody.

He kissed her cheek, "How did things go today?"

Syal shrugged, turning to him, "Everything was perfect up until Master Skywalker called and told us Zekk was arrested for treason."

"Treason?" he grunted. "Why? What did he do?"

"Apparently, there was a loose hole in security. A Shaper got passed and modeled him/herself after Zekk. Jaina's really angry with him. She had to pick him up, but if it were her choice, he would stay down there. And I wouldn't blame her."

Soontir huffed, "When's the wedding again?"

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1 Jaina’s Journal_Entry_25

2 “Guestbook”

By Obi’s Girl

Note: I really want to wrap up Jaina’s Journal soon, so in this chapter, I’m going to be skipping around, time-jumps.

Wedge Antilles rested his boots on his desk as he read over the several sims reports. It wasn’t like him to work this late, but his office had become his second home. Jag knocked the door, clearing his throat. His Uncle glanced up, putting down the reports and gestured he come . Jag pulled up a chair and sat down, “You know about Zekk’s arrest?”

The General bolted up, putting down his legs. “What arrest? When did this happen?”

He shrugged, “This afternoon. Zekk was arrested for breaking and entering into Sticks’ quarters, but that’s not even the worst part of the charges. Uncle, he’s been charged with treason. Spying for the Vong. The station had a video of him talking to a villip.”

Wedge nodded, “Leave it to Fey’lya to cause trouble.”

“I don’t think it’s Fey`yla who’s behind this. I think it’s the Vong themselves. How they were able to penetrate security, I don’t know. The captain called the Vong a Shaper, a changeling, but that still doesn’t explain how they were able to get passed.”

Antilles leaned back in his chair, rubbing his chin, “You’re right. It doesn’t. We have a leak somewhere that much is clear. I’ll report this to Gavin, start up an investigation.” He smiled, putting down his hand, “On a happier note, how did things go today?”

He shrugged, “We didn’t get far; the first guy I took Jaina to ushered us out quicker than a womp rat. Then we were interrupted but Master Skywalker. He’s the one that made the call. But I have an idea; the perfect location and I don’t think Sticks will have complaints. Yavin 4.”

Wedge grinned, “She’ll love it.”

“Hey, am I interrupting anything? A voice asked.

Both men turned to face Corran. Wedge’s jaw almost dropped to the table. Was it possible? He stood up from his desk, hugging his old friend. Corran smiled back, “It’s been too long, Wedge.”

“What are you doing here? Not, that I’m ungrateful.” Wedge turned to Jag and the younger man stood up, “Corran, meet my nephew, Jagged Fel.”

Jag nodded back. Corran extended his hand to Jag, “An honor to meet you Jag. You and Jaina set a date yet, booked a place for that matter?”

He shrugged, “Booking won’t be a problem. I already have a place in mind.” Jag turned to back to his Uncle, “I better go make that call now, make preparations,” and he left with a wide grin on his face.

Corran laughed, sitting down, “What was that all about?”

“Just an idea where to hold the ceremony. How have you been? Mirax and the kids with you?”

Horn frowned, “No. They’re back on Corellia,” He smiled again, “but they’ll come up for the wedding. I saw Luke and Mara. Ya know suddenly, I’m noticing a lot’s been happening since I left. Jaina’s engaged, Mara’s pregnant, any other surprises?”

“One more. Zekk was arrested, but he was released. Where he’s staying, I don’t know but it’s certainly not in Jaina’s apartment. Jaina, Jag, and Syal had to go down to the station to pick him up and you can bet, Jaina wasn’t exactly thrilled.”

Corran scratched his chin, “The boy’s always been trouble. Luke talk to him yet about his habits?”

“Zekk’s just a minor part of the story. He broke into Jaina’s quarters, but that’s nothing compared to treason.” Corran’s eyes bolted up. “They think he’s a Vong…” he stopped, waving his hand, “It’s a complicated story. I’ll fill you in later. Right now, I need to go down and talk to Gavin about starting up an investigation.”

I grumbled, tossing yet again in my sleep. This is totally unfair. Zekk can’t do this to me! I need my beauty sleep. I pushed the covers off me, got dressed and left for the pilot’s lounge. Why could he just have left when I told him, no demanded he leave? Men. Well, he never listens. I found Zekk in the pilot’s lounge, staring at Coruscant’s night sky. I huffed to myself, walking behind him and crossed my arms.

“Zekk, we need to talk.”

He didn’t even turn to me, which was perfectly fine. “You have to promise me something; at the wedding, you won’t say anything when Jag and I have to exchange vows. Or even try to talk to me; you have to keep your distance. I can’t risk loosing Jag again.”

This time, he turned to me, frowning. His eyes were baggy and swollen. It almost seemed like he was going to faint but judging from his appearance and his emotions, I knew he had been crying. “Zekk, what is it?”

“I’ve decided; I’m leaving for good. I’m not ever coming back. It’s easier I never come back. It will certainly be easier for you and Jag. I don’t want to cause trouble, even though I already have, but most of all, I don’t wish to cause you pain.” He cried.

I scowled, “When did you make this decision?”

He shrugged, looking down, “A while ago. After I left your quarters…I walked around Coruscant, thinking. Thinking about you, about what we used to be and I realized something. I’m chasing a dream, Jaina, that isn’t even real. You’re completely out of reach to me. I’d pushed you away so many times, it’s only natural you’d push back. I’m leaving.”

Surprisingly, instead of making some snide remark, I hugged him, crying myself. He laughed and I immediately let go again. I didn’t know what say for a time, until I smiled, “Thank you.” I bit my lip, looking at him, though he seemed to be someplace else. “Where will you go?”

He shrugged again. “I don’t know, but I can’t stay here.” Zekk stared back at me again, the tears subsiding. “I’ll miss you.”

I smiled weakly, “As crazy as it might sound, I’ll miss you, too.”

Luke’s eyes blinked open, hearing the chime on the door. It was late, very late and wandered who could possibly want to talk to him at this hour. He glanced at Mara, sleeping peacefully beside him. She didn’t seem to be conscious or have felt the extra presence nearby. The Jedi Master stood up, grabbing a robe on the lounge chair, putting on some pants and answered the door.

“Jag, it’s late. What is it?” Luke asked, squinting.

He shrugged, frowningly slightly, “I can come back later…” But Luke didn’t say anything. “I need to talk to you, Master Skywalker, about Jaina and I. About our wedding.”

Luke groaned, ushering him outside, “What about the wedding? You’re not getting cold feet, are you?”

“No. It’s not that. It’s something else. I’ve decided on a location, but I need to run it by you first.” He stated as Luke came to a halt, facing him. “I want the wedding to be on Yavin, in the Jedi Temple.”

“Have you talked to Jaina about this?”

Jag nodded, “I haven’t. Only Wedge and you, of course.” Luke ‘hmm’d, scratching his chin as Jag continued. “I just thought, since Jaina practically grew up there, maybe she would want to have her wedding here. And it wouldn’t be costly. Nothing expensive.”

Luke smiled, “Thinking economically now? I’m sure, wherever the wedding will be, Jaina will be happy.”

“I want it to be more.”

The Jedi Master sighed, smiling back at him. “I’ll run it by Tionne and Kam.” Luke nodded, walking back inside his quarters.

A week later

Syal Antilles tapped her foot, tapping her pen as well, as she listened to another woman audition to be her back up. Initially, she wanted to the singing all by herself but after going through a couple chords, that were a bit too high for her voice, she opted to have a couple back up singers. She huffed again, stopping the music on the audio player. The young woman, Twi’lek, froze, blinking her eyes at Syal.

“Thank you for coming in. I’ll call you.”

The young Twi’lek nodded, walking out of the studio as Wedge and Corran walked inside. Syal hid her face in her arms, grinding her teeth. “Please, if you’re here to audition, auditions are finished for today. You’ll have to come back tomorrow.”

“Auditions, that bad?” Wedge asked, and Syal held up her head. She smiled at her brother and Corran.

“I put out that flyer a week ago. Auditions for back-up singers, female but everyone who’s come in, isn’t good enough.” She cried.

Wedge scratched his chin, “Or maybe they’re not good by your standards. Syal, you have to give them a chance.”

She nodded, “So, what are the two of you doing down here? How’s the investigation going? Found anything new?”

Corran spoke this time. “The Vong have pretty much cleared out. Whoever was here, didn’t leave much of a trail to track. Fey`yla’s started up an investigation of his own, but nothing serious. He’s investigating the leak in security.”

Syal frowned, leaning back, “But that’s what you’re doing.”

“Yes. We were. He relieved the Squadron.” Wedge replied. “The investigation’s dead, Syal. It’s not going anywhere. If the Vong’s planning something, we probably won’t know about it until it’s too late.” She stood up abruptly, walking around the studio. “Syal, why don’t you take a break? You’ve been working really hard.”

She turned back to her brother, grabbing her coat, “Close up for me?” Both men nodded as she disappeared.

“Yavin 4?” I questioned as Jag knelt down before me, with a wide grin on his face. “So what you’re telling me is all this talk about looking for a place and you already had a clear idea what you wanted, but didn’t bother to tell me?”

He shrugged, “I just thought of it a few days ago. If you think about it, it would be safer. We would be out of the public’s eyes; away from politicians and scrutiny. And besides, Fey`yla would probably be very worried to have a lot of Jedi in one place and very close to home.”

“Probably.” I mused as he frowned slightly.

“You don’t seem happy. What is it, Sticks?”

I shied away from him, hugging my middle, “Zekk left…this time permanently. I know I should probably be glad he’s gone; he won’t be a problem for us anymore but I don’t know…Somehow, I feel guilty.” I stared back at him, “He was my first love, Jag.”

He nodded, smirking partly, “I know he was.” I really didn’t think he’d put it together, but somewhere along the way, he had. And he didn’t seem angry about it. “I knew Zekk was special to you; no one could get under your skin like that if that person didn’t mean anything to you and most of the time, it’s usually our first loves’ that drive us to do crazy things.”

I leaned over, kissing his cheek, “Thank you.”

“For what?”

I rolled my eyes, wrapping arms around his neck, “Thank you for understanding. Not many guys understand or even tolerate having an ex- boyfriend around their current fiancée.”

Jag smiled, his hands snaking around my back. He leaned down, kissing my nose. “You’re my girl, Sticks. As long as you wear that ring on your finger, you’re my girl and no one change that. And soon, you’ll be my wife.”

“Hmm. Mrs. Jaina Fel-Solo. Has a nice ring to it? Do you think it should be hyphenated? What about the kids? Should their last names be Solo or Fel; or maybe if we have a boy, Fel and a girl, Solo. Or we could just…” Before I could ramble on more and more, Jag kissed me.

A Year Later…

I’m getting married in 3 days! Jag and I arrived on Yavin, yesterday afternoon. I haven’t been on Yavin for about 3 years now. I used to know the time of day by heart, but that doesn’t matter because I will be Mrs. Jaina Solo Fel in 3 days! The wedding itself would be held inside the Temple, in the Grand Auditorium. The left would my side and the right, Jag’s side, which included Wedge, of course.

And since I had not been on Yavin 4 for a while, I had to reacquaint myself with the new trainees that had recently been enrolled. There weren’t many new young Jedi, but there was this one woman that caught my eye…Aiden Sule. Some people just shined so brightly in the Force; Jag was like when I met him but this woman…

“Master Skywalker --.” Aiden asked, upon entering the room walking down the aisle. She’s from an unknown planet in the Outer Rim, called Ceruse. She’s about the same age as Luke, but she doesn’t even look it. She looks like she could be in her thirties; black hair, one blue eye and one gray. In addition to her lightsaber, she carries a makeshift repulsor blaster. Of course, you would never see it. She always had a very stern expression on her face, even if she was in a good mood. And she always wore a black leather jump suit. It wasn’t tradition to wear Jedi cloaks in the Temple but still…

“Syal Antilles, Soontir Fel and their children have just arrived.”

I smirked, “My future brother-in-laws.” I looked back at Aiden, “How many boys were there?”

She shrugged, “Only five.” Aiden bowed before leaving abruptly.

Luke and Corran looked at me, shrugging and laughing. “We’ll have to teach her to be more emotional.” Luke stated as Corran laughed.

I rolled my eyes, “Not only that. Teach her how to be human. Hey, I have an idea! Set her up with someone at the wedding?!” They looked at me honestly and I shied away, “I know. I know. I’m overly-excited.”

“There’s no reason you shouldn’t be. Aiden’s just --- well, she’s had a rough past.”

I didn’t want to pry, but it did explain why she wore black. Maybe she was still atoning for her sins…Whatever the case, it didn’t matter. I only had three last days of being a Bachelorette. That was 72 hours before I would be married to my true love. 72 hours of freedom. Hmm? What to do?

“Jaina Solo.” Another stern voice, only this time I knew it wasn’t Aiden. I turned to Tenel Ka; I knew she was already in the Temple long before I had arrived. I just needed to make sure everything was set up okay.

I smiled at her, “Hey Tenel.” I walked over and hugged her, though she was unemotional as usual. “When did you arrive?”

She shrugged, “Four days ago. My parents will be arriving tomorrow and…” She turned to Luke, “My cousin Xon will attending the wedding also, Master Skywalker.”

“That’s great!” I chimed, ushering her out of the auditorium so we could talk in private. “So, how are you?”

She glanced me, shrugging, “I am fine.”

I bit my lip, fidgeting, “It’s just – Jacen will be here tomorrow too with Danni…” She turned away abruptly. “I didn’t say it to hurt you, Tenel. I was just wandering.”

Tenel turned back to me, “Jacen is a dear friend to me, Jaina. Nothing else. Whatever could have been is long past.” Before I could say another word, she left my side.

My shoulders slumped as I walked back to the auditorium and I sat down on one of the available chairs, huffing. I gasped, watching Corran direct several of the trainees on where to place the chairs and my uncle Luke standing back amongst the shadows, watching everything. He nodded, walking over. He smiled at me, grabbing himself a chair. “Getting cold feet?”

“No. It’s not that. I’m just worried. I talked to Tenel about Jacen…She seemed cold, angry.”

Luke nodded, “She needs time. Speaking of Jacen, have you talked to him, or has he contacted you?”

I shrugged, slouching back, “Not really, which makes me wander. I trust Jacen, but when it comes to the opposite sex, well, HE’S A GUY!”

“I see. Want me call him to make sure he’s on his way.” Luke mused, as I worriedly nodded yes. He stood up, “Jaina, get some rest. You need it. We don’t need you fainting as you exchange vows with Jag.”

I huffed, stood up, smiling thanks. “Yeah. Definitely don’t want that happening.” Luke laughed, as I walked out of the auditorium.

I rubbed my eyes as I walked down the hallway towards my quarters but stopped when I came upon Tenel’s quarters. I knew it probably wasn’t my place to say anything, but she was my friend and I knew she needed to talk. I gulped, pressing my thumb on the COM. I bit my lip, glancing up and down the hallway before Tenel answered. <Yes, Jaina? >

“I can come back later, if I’m bothering you but I, uh, I got the feeling you were angry and needed someone to talk to.” I mused. I waited awhile, before she actually answered the door. Her eyes were baggy and she was sniffling. “Tenel…” I cried, as she quickly pulled me inside.

She sniffled again as she sat down on her bed, grabbing another tissue. I had never seen her cry before, or show any emotion for that matter. She was always emotionless; always straightforward but never like this… I bit my lip, looking down. “I’m sorry I mentioned his name. I didn’t mean to cause you pain.”

Tenel only waved her hand, looking up with her baggy eyes, “It wasn’t your fault, Jedi Jaina. It’s mine. I pushed him away so many times…I left before we could get close…” She trailed off again, crying as I sat down, hugging her. “I’ve lost him, Jaina! It’s all my fault.”

I nodded, “No, it isn’t. I know I can’t speak for him, but I know he holds a special place in his heart for you…”

She nodded defiantly, “Just GO, Jaina. I need to be alone. I’ll see you at the wedding, or the afternoon before.”

I huffed, stood up from the bed, walking quietly to the door. I glanced one last time at Tenel before leaving her alone.

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