Thrashing

D-TV Presents

XAW’s

BORN AGAIN 3/FINAL DESTINATION!!!!!!!

There’s really a solemn atmosphere surrounding this whole gig tonight. People getting their tickets ripped. Fans waiting in line for beer, soda and popcorn and other concessions they can eat or throw. It looks like any other PPV unless you’re looking from where I’m sitting.

The laughter is light, yet joyless. The beer is cold, but no matter how many sips you take; it just doesn’t seem to taste right. You sit down in your favorite section and the seat seems smaller, larger, colder, harder; it just feels different.

They know. They know this is the last time they will ever come to this arena for what they love to see most. To see the sport they have been dedicated to since the arena opened its doors what seems forever-ago only to have it all end tonight, less that three hours from now. They know it’s the last time, but they can’t admit it to themselves or to each other.

The lights go dim and the tron sparks up. On it, Born Again 3 stands in Black letters and white backing over Final Destination in white lettering and a very final, black background.

Ecstasy of Gold, by Ennio Morricone, starts to play and slowly, we forget.

The screen goes black, then the fun begins!!!!

Pyro’s explode lighting the stadium red! More go off and there’s blue! It’s settled down now. A show… No, a tribute begins to play on the Tron.

September to Remember 2002 – The Beginning of it all!!!! GQ Style’s starts it off at the top of the ramp mic in hand looking younger, eager, healthier. There’s a still shot of the original Underground in the ring! Followed by the Brain Trust then Cruel Joke! And here’s one for the centuries! The Lost Boys with Mike ‘The Man’ Johnson and Sean Rogers!

It’s streaming now! Goodfella the first to wear the IC title, Steven Kult the first REAL person to wear the TV title for his first of a many times, Johnny Killa wins the first ever Heavy Weight title and he’s clutching it close to his breast. Sugar Stevens dons the first Hardcore strap and now Grace Joplin shows her sexy self off in the Diva’s Title. The Drama and Hostile 17 show off the Tag belts and there’s Chris Rayvon holding the Cruiserweight belt over his head. There’s even a shot of Mike Johnson holding the first US Championship belt, even though that came later.

Words again – ‘Records have been set. Records have been broken. Faces have appeared and disappeared, but all have left their mark. Some good, some bad, but they can all say they were here.’

Metallica’s Unforgiven comes on and more clips –

The Mailman, mouthing, ‘Paint it Black’ with his arm held high over his head and Juliet staring up at him. Marco Manners walking hand in hand with Mario the enforcer Monkey. Tommy St. Clair driving into the arena on his bike. Mangler and Leary exchanging fists. Vlad swinging down from the rafters. JVX taking his first of a thousand flights. Johnny and Billy the God Clown standing in front of the Big Top. Crimson WHOOPS!!! That one could’ve been used as evidence! Crimson twirling his mini wrecking ball. Goodfella relaxing behind his desk sipping his 50 year old scotch. Steven Kult with the first of many devastating chair-shots! Chris Rayvon appraising a sweaty, shirtless construction worker. Punk Rock Girl and Grace Joplin sitting in the shade of Goodfella’s gardens with Claudia looking down from her window, smiling, with a champagne glass full of a red liquid nestled between her hands. There’s a lovely shot of Monique and Sugar, hand in hand before a show. The Russian before his suit fell off feather by feather with Webby in his arm proclaiming to all that would listen ‘I am not Joey Lawrence.’ Matthew Kult standing with his arms folded across his chest. Lana, the first Drama Queen to make it, holding her women’s title. Ultimatum, a dark, imposing sort of fellow, starts roaming the halls.

A pause before the final 3 seconds of the worst, the MOST BRUTAL beating ever in the XAW took place on a rookie named Kidd X. Every one got at least one shot in before triumphantly and in chorus bit him adieu with ‘Na Na Na Na… Na na na na…Hey HEY HEY! GOOOOOOOOOOD-BYEEEEEEEE!

Iron Man with a double choke slam precedes the induction of Reeve Gordon, or rather Stung, who in turn was Krucifix and a host of other entities and incarnations all of which were sub par at best.

Final still shot of the last battle between the Underground and the Surface Dwellers, the fight that brought down a federation. Drama picking himself off the ground as the winner of the first RRR and then there were none.

We hoped. We waited and a breath before we had almost completely forgotten, it happened. We all got the letter to return.

A countdown reel – 4 – 3- 2- 1-

Tony Stark takes the reigns and then we have more shots - The Underground, each picture rotating in a new Member. New groups, new faces and new dreams. Goodfella becomes the XAW president. Javex becomes Alone. Matthew Kult makes waves as Alexander DeVoir. Sugar Stevens later becomes Adam Darke. Reeve transforms himself into an imposing piece of lint. Hizzle 1 Shizzle and the Hizzle-a-z-boy-2000 become inseparable. John Deere on his Mower, Crusher, @ss Bassoon… I mean Bass Monsoon making dazzling debuts and later becoming Crimso… They went on a field trip. Nothing to do with Crimson. The formation of Los Nemisis, Darke Arts, and reformation of the Lost Boys. Julie Simms ‘holds’ the Hardcore Title for one show. Scarface, lovingly known as Goodfella Light hits the ring with much success. Tara Rising rocks the fed becoming Woman’s champ, but was a force in all aspects, being the first woman to become a ‘true’ Hardcore Champion and defend the belt as well as a mixed Champion in the Tag Division. Leary Garcia wrestles Jesus Christ. Ghost Rider and Draven also come along and really shake stuff up! Razor being hung in the Hell in the Cell with Matthew in midkick form off the top rope!

GQ Styles regained his Presidency.

A full recrudesce had occurred. Life and most importantly, blood was flowing through the XAW again.

A Third wave – RoM hits big with Razor and Slayer. They’re holding their tag belts and become the new wave of Tag-Champs. Assassin reaches behind his back to the general area of his buttocks and produces a tonfa. They brought with them Allie, Ariel and Medusa who’ve had limited success before deciding to stay behind the scenes. Triksta hits the scene, with a foul mouth and an eager heart. Grey Haze, the black magician, appears, offering his services where needed; Darke Arts. Callisto makes a big impact filling Tara’s shoes in her absence. Cerberus tries to take it to the limit one more time. Venom pops into the scene getting off to a rocky start, then was on his way to success until he started trying to slum with a juggalo. Hostile 17 defeats death to become a zombie king… I think that’s impressive!?

Again, Reform – The Underground finally dissipates, only to have another force rise from the ashes – The Kult Compound! And again, there are men who try to achieve balance and the Libertine Regime is born.

The last wave, the final wave begins as Darke joins the Kult compound. Darke Arts regroups to form Eternal Darkness. NFH, comprised of Griffin and Antagonist, appears followed by another fresh face, Heather Storm. NFH is made fun of mercilessly about their unknown acronym, until they upset RoM for the belts. Heather Storm is another queen of x-treme hopeful, but though she has had success, there wasn’t enough time for her to solidify her legacy. Trick also gets his butt kicked by Jesus. Hostile gets ‘Lost’. Shadow, how appropriate because from whence he came; he shortly returned. Legion appeared and though he is gone some say he still haunts these halls waiting patiently for another time to strike. Scarface, NFH, Mike Johnson, and Heather Storm, form Midwest Mafia and do their thing. Finally, Chaos the Clown shows up with some spare light bulbs. I don’t know why he thought they were necessary, but at least he wasn’t trying to sell Kirby’s.

Until we meet here. Now. Eternal Darkness reforms with Adam Darke. The Kult Compound is ‘unofficially’ dead. The roster is dropping like flies. We have, my friends, reached the end……….

The Tron clears and the speakers lower to that dull, almost soundless, unbearable hiss. The lights go up and all that’s left is the BA3/Final Destination glowing from the screen and a silent crowd waiting patiently.

GQ walks out, not breaking the silence, but merely to open his final show. He taps the mic and here we go!!!!!

“Ladies and Gentleman and of course all our superstars, A-Bob and YRT. We have reached our Final Destination.”

“I apologize for my outburst on Thrashing. As Dave Chapelle would say, I was ‘Crying Like a bitch’ and though I don’t regret my show of emotion, I think it could’ve been done with more discretion. It’s just hard to watch something you built from the ground up, crumble before your very eyes. To see your dream, haze with the break of dawn.”

“I am very grateful though for all of you who have made this dream a reality. My wrestler’s, their loyal fans and my staff; I love all of you and your efforts will never be forgotten.”

“Without further delay, FINAL DESTINATION!!!!!!!!!”

“Wait” GQ raises his hand to his ear. “Are you sure? OK. I apologize again, for the delay. YRT is having a little bit of trouble getting the banner and card to display.”

What now? Can’t we get this over with already??????? Murmurs surf through the crowd.

The Tron has a blue bar, flipping from BA3 to Final destination. Blindingly fast now… Slower, slooooooooooooooooower… BA3, FD……BA3………FD……… It stops on Born Again 3, and then the bar vanishes. Born Again 3 proudly expands to fill the Tron!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Ladies and Gentleman!!!!! We are at BORN AGAIN 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

WOW!!!! The crowd is roaring with the news!!!! Check out that! Two guys just jumped into each other’s arms and hugged! But not in a gay way…. More like a Viking way.

“I have stated in the past that there were problems. I still can not disclose the details of these events until there is an official press release, but I can tell you this; the XAW is going under new ownership. While new management comes in to look things over, the Federation will be taking a short, paid vacation. We figure about a month should get the gears rolling again. Once this changeover takes place, we are guaranteed at LEAST a MONTH to show what we can do, otherwise, this place will be made into a different sporting venue.”

“You hear me people!!!! We’re not dead yet!!!! Remember, in about a month or so, you’ll receive an official press docket explaining our new situation and from there we have a month, maybe two months MAX to show everyone we can do this!!!! If not, well, then you’ll be mowing lawns, or going back for your nursing degrees. And though my future here is still uncertain, I will always remain very proud and forever in your debt.”

“NOW! Without further delay, I proudly present to you….BORN AGAIN 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

THE CROWD IS ON THEIR FEET AND THEY’RE BALLISTIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It dies down and now there’s just a standing ovation for GQ Styles; the man that started it all. A single tear blossoms in the corner of his eye. He waves, absently wipes the tear away and exits.

Sound. Ginsburg reading ‘Howl’???? What the heck! Wait a second, someone’s playing the record backwards and is this weird or what people??? If you play the poem backwards, you have tonight’s card!!!!

Claudia v. Heather Storm (Women’s Title)

Scarface v. Cerberus (US Title)

Slayer v. Webby (TV Title)

Razor v. Ultimatum (Hardcore Title)

Triksta (Owner of Tim Curry) v. Johnny Killa (aka Captain Pope-Tastic the First)

NFH v. Joint Venture (Tag Team Titles)

Assasin v. Vlad (Cruiser Weight Title)

Mangler v. Darke (Heavy Weight Title)

And your MAIN EVENT

Javex Valerius v. Steven Kult (60 Minute Iron Man match)

In the parking lot, Mike Johnson screeches into his spot. He gets out and slams the door muttering curses about Slayer and Webby and GQ being a total dickhead for screwing him like this. As he brings his rant to a close nearing the door, he sees a man and a woman leaning against a black BWW 740i. He gets closer and realizes they’re his parents!

Mike runs over and they both give the big man a hug. Lady Red for all her rough edges sheds some tears and his dad has a smile from ear to ear.

“I tried so hard to set you both free, only to find out I was a potential ‘hit’ on your list!”

“We know Mike and we’re sorry. We were so entwined in a league with Mato Sato that we did everything in our power to keep you away and keep ourselves in situations that wouldn’t allow us to harm you. However, we came to thank your friend Scarface. The Midwest Mafia was somehow able to free us from our debts to Mato.” Mikey’s dad pulls away and bows his head to Mike.

“Scarface? How though? If he had plans, I didn’t know about them”. Mikey kisses his mother’s cheek before slipping out of her grasp.

“We don’t know Mike. Your father got a call on his cell one morning and it was Mato. He said ‘you’re free; your debts have transferred to another man. He goes by the name of Scarface and he is friends with your son. The conditions of this agreement can be disclosed by him personally, but the one I will tell you now is, do not EVER show your faces in Japan again.’ So we came as soon as we could. We know it’s a big night for you to Mikey! We can’t wait to see you wrestle.”

“Yeah, I don’t know if that’s going to happen. I have to patch some things up before I even know what’s going on!”

“We know Mikey. We know that you’re worthless and tonight will be your last night on here at the XAW. You will beg, but they will all tell you no.”

“What was that Dad?”

“I said good luck tonight and when it’s over, perhaps we could treat you and your friends to dinner. Sort of like a celebration and reunion.”

“Jesus… I’m sorry dad. I thought… Never mind”

Hi there. I don’t know if we’ve met, but you can call me Al. I’ll be with you for brief spurts of time. I’m going to make you promise to keep a secret and follow me behind the scenes of this story. You promise you can? Ok, then, I’ll tell you.

We’re going to play a game of pretend. Won’t you play pretend with me? Just for Mikey’s sake.

“We wish you luck son. When it’s all over we’re going to take you to your new home and maybe we can start over.”

“We’ll see. I love you guys, but I think…”

Mikey’s Dad is nodding understandingly. Nothing appears to be out of place here, but Mikey sees his dad’s eyes flash blood red his mom’s go black. Mikey blinks and it’s all back to normal. Pretending is fun isn’t it?

“I, I’ll see you both after the show.”

Mikey’s parents wish him luck and he’s off to speak to GQ. Lady Red takes the hand of her love and two rings clink together. They both have ruby’s the size of grapes, polished smooth and glinting in the faint neon lighting of the garage. I don’t know what that’s all about folks, but you don’t get those out of Cracker Jack boxes!

"So Long", by Orgy hits and here comes the challenger for the Diva's Title, Claudia! She enters the stage and she has a look in her eye. She walks down the ramp and slides into the ring. She stands near the center and looks to the stage, ready.

"Born to be Wild " by Steppenwolf and here comes Heather Storm. She raises her hands and waves to the crowd before offing the title and handing it to YRT. She slides in and the bell is rung. The match it seems is an Over the Top Battle Royal from what I've understood.

Claudia v. Heather Storm (Women’s Title)

The Diva's lock it up and Claudia gets a handful of hair. Heather screams and gets downed with a short arm clothesline. Claudia mounts her and starts slamming her head into the mat. The ref admonishing her and Claudia lets up and gets to her feet. Heather starts to stand and is helped up. She takes advantage of the situation and slaps the Blood Goddess in the chops. Claudia staggers and Irish whipped onto the ropes. Heather Storm on the ready, Hiptoss towards the ropes!!!

Claudia landed on the ropes and hit the Blood Moonsault! Heather Storm is flattened face first! Claudia to the ropes. She is going aerial! Senton Bomb! Missed! Heather Storm rolled out the way just in time. Claudia grabbing at her ass in pain almost like she would if the A-bob attempted to slam his huge thingy straight in her... ANYWAYS! Heather to her feet. She pulls the Former Diva Champion up by her hair and pregnant dog slaps her all the way to Timbuktu! Claudia staggers back. Heather charges! Claudia ducks! AND HEATHER GOES OVER!!!!!

BUT HAS THE ROPES!

Claudia sees this and sinks her teeth into her fingers! The Champ lets go with one hand and is hanging on tightly with the other. Heather kicks Claudia in the girl thingy and she drops to her knees. You know, I often wonder why did they call it a girl thingy. Girl thingy really does sound like a disease if you think about it. Heather pulls her self up and so does Claudia. Both Diva's to their feet. They start swinging hard fists. Heather needs to get into that ring! Claudia is relentless as they trade blows.

Claudia sends a headbutt between the eyes. Heather loosing her balance, Claudia grabs her head and drops bringing the neck to the ropes Heather bounces off AND SHE HIT THE FLOOR!!! This one is over folks!

Winner of the match and New Champion, Claudia!

Heather on her knees looks up, glaring at the new Champ. I don’t know folks but I don't think this is over after the break.

Backstage, Mike walks into GQ’s office and it looks pretty bare. There’s bright white paint inside off-white borders where his pictures and accolades once hung. His XAW Hess truck is gone, even the new ant farm. He’s polishing a plaque and he puts down the rag noticing Mike.

“Gene, I don’t know what the fuck you’re trying to do to me, but this is complete bullshit!!!”

“I know Mikey and I apologize. I really wasn’t thinking straight the other night. Here’s what I’ll do, you can either hop in this match, or I’ll make your match with Scary and Cerby a three way dance for the title since it appears you also have a score to settle. How’s Little Zachary doing anyway?”

Hi. Me again. GQ has in fact made a very reasonable offer in our minds, but what our dear Mikey explicitly heard GQ state was ‘I don’t give two shits about you Mike! No one ever has, no one ever will. You’re fired. DONE! The only thing you do here is waste everyone’s time! Get the hell out of my office and never show your face again. Your parents are outside waiting for you. I suggest you leave with them this instant before I REALLY lose my temper!!!!!’

“Well.” Johnson lowers his head and GQ goes back to getting that little speck off the plaque’s glass. “Well, I’m sorry Gene; I didn’t know you felt that way. I guess I’ll be going.” Mike heads out and GQ looks like confusion himself planted a big slap across his grill. He shrugs, and we’re back to the action!!!

Scarface v. Ceberus (US Title)

"Only the Strong Survive" by Flaw hits and here comes your resident Mobster. We know Scarface isn't the Master of holds but neither is Cerberus. Scarface has the book, 'Submission for Dummies' and is flipping through it. He gets to the ring and "Superbeast" by Rob Zombie begins to play. The Hell Hound looms from behind the curtains and steps down the ramp, title in hand. He hands it off and gets to the apron. Scarface isn't waiting and grabs the dog and hits a VERTICAL SUPLEX INTO THE RING!!! That's the bell.

Both men up and Cerberus with an upper cut. Scary staggers back and Cerberus not stopping. He stalks the Mobster and slinks behind him. The Hound from Hellpicksa Scary up byt his ears! SCary trying to musclke his way through but it ain't happening.Scary starts to kick and his heel catches a knee hard. THe beast lets go and drops to his knee as Scarface staggers forward. Scarface turns around and gets Cerberus in position for a PEDIGREE! Cerberus is down.

Scarface looking down at his opponent and grabs a leg. Looks like he is going for a submission move> He stops as he has Cerberus's leg and his leg entwined. He slips and falls forward and now both are screamin in pain! I Don't know what kind of leg lock that it, but it isn't a good one since it is hurting them both! Cerberus bucks a bit and they are freed. Both men rise and Scarface charges into the Hound. Cerberus sees this ahead of time and ACID DROP DDT! Cerberus up and he HOWLS? Is that a howl? Sounds like a bitch whimper.

He pulls Scarface up and STUNNER!!! REVERSED! SCARFACE PUSHES HIM AWAY!!! Cerberus turns and gets clocked in the jaw. He leans agaisnt the ropes to stay up. Guess that one knocked something loose. Scarface unloads with rights and left all over, face , body, and all! Scarface grabs Cerberus by the throat. DOUBLE HAND CHOKE SLAM!!! No! Cerberus cought him with a hard left. Cerberus grabs the Mobster and CLOTHES LINE FROM HELL BABY! WOW! That almost took his head clear off!

Cerberus on all fours and he moves on top of Scarface.

WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?!?

CERBERUS LATCHES ON WITH VISCOUS BITE!!! HE JUST SANK HIS TEETH STRAIGHT DOWN INTO SCARY'S NUTS!!!!

Scarface is screamin in pain folks! MY GOD! Cerberus really is twisted!!!the mobster looks like he's about to tab but sends multiple blows to his head. Cerberus head you sick freaks. Cerberus finally releases and Scarface passes out.

Cerberus to his feet and he drags Scarface to the ropes. He climbs them and pulls Scary up. Is he going to use his own move agaisnt him? Scarface shakes the cobwebs out but I don't think he can walk after that wicked submission move. The twio trade a few punmches but Scarface gets the upper hand and Cerberus is almost off his balance!

CONTRACT HIT ONTO THE OUTSIDE!!!!!

The ref counting.

1

Both men seem out of it.

2

3

4

5

Scarface stirs....

6

7

Cerberus stirs. Scarface grabs ahold of the apron.

8

Scarface pulls himself in. Cerberus to his feet.

9

Cerberus to the apron, he enters.

WAIT! NO! SCARFACE SENT A KICK RIGHT BETWEEN THE EYES BEFORE CERBERUS COULD GET INT!!

10

Winner of the match and new US Champion, Scarface!!!

Backstage, Mike Johnson walks out of the building, head and shoulders hanging low. He has the gait of a man that has been beaten within an inch of his life mentally. He’s been through a lot this month folks and now for some reason, he just seems to have up and quit!

But we know better. Don’t we? Shhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

His parents are waiting for him by the car. Mike walks over and looks to his mom, her eyes black. No, green.

“Well, it seems I’m no longer wanted here. Let’s just go home. I’m ready to go home with you and start over.”

“That’s good Mikey. You know we love you and would never hurt you again. Hop in the car, Mike. We can’t take you home yet, remember, we have to speak with your friend before this is all over, but we’ll take a drive. Just blast the radio and flush it all away Mikey. It’ll be good for all of us. Then, once everything is done, we’ll take you home.” His father smiles and nods to Lady Red and they all enter the car. Back to it!!!

Dawn of the Dead by Murderdolls starts this one off and Slayer walks down to the ring. Is it just the A-Bob, or does this guy look po’ed? He’s getting booed pretty good here folks and one fan in the front has a sign saying ‘Don’t feel bad, Webby Kicked my @ss too!!!’ Slayer runs over to the fan, grabs the sign, tears it into tiny bits, stomps on it, then pushes the stunned fan back into his seat! Oh man!!!! THEY’RE REAAAAALLY Booing NOW!

Slayer hops in the ring and he’s looking to the top of the ramp. That damned bottle isn’t going to take him by surprise like he has to so many others.

The Greatest American Hero pipes through and Slayer stares at the curtain. Silly Slayer, he’s right behind you!!! Slayer shrugs now, looks like Webby is a no show. He turns to the ref and WAIT!!! He’s sees Webby in the middle of the ring wearing HIS TV Title!!!

Slayer rips the belt off of Webby and the bottle, ever stoic, isn’t fazed. Slayer looks at the bloody title and throws it to YRT. Slayer sets his gaze on Webby, pointing, says ‘You’re DEAD!’ and the bottle doesn’t seem to care. That’s the bell!!!!

Slayer v. Webby (TV Title)

Slayer’s motioning for Webby to make the first move, but the little bottle, master strategist, knows better. He stays in his place and gets a boot to the face for it! Webby bounces off the bottom rope, slingshotting himself back and THWACK! Slayer just took a bottle to the head! Slayer shakes it off and looks down at Webby again, who’s still upright, waiting for Slayer’s next move. Slayer dives on top of bottle and the ref counts one and stops. Slayer looks at the ref, and then notices Webby is staring him in the face!!! I don’t know how Webby does it, but it’s kind of unnerving if you ask me! Slayer smacks the mat, grabs Webby and TRAVESTY!!!! I don’t know what’s more disturbing now! Webby’s uncanny ability to never fall over or the fact Slayer just hit a devastating finisher on a Vodka Bottle!!!!

WAIT!!!! THE RUSSIAN IS HERE! Is the Russian planning to unleash his fury by setting up for a little interference!? No, he’s not. It seems he made a wrong turn to the bathroom as he’s doing the pee pee dance in the chicken suit. He staggers back out. Looks like Webby’s all alone on this one!

Slayer Covers!!!!!

1…………………………………

2…………………………………………………….

Do we really need the theatrical tension here folks? Seriously….

3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Winner of the match and new TV Champion - SLAYER!!!!!!

Slayer collects his belt and is about to offer some final thoughts to Webby when he notices the little bottle is already gone! Slayer shrugs and walks to the back.

Looks like we’re taking this thing backstage folks!!!

There’s Ultimatum!!! He walks towards the ramp, ready to beat him up some Razor tonight.

BEEP!!! BEEP!!!

RAZOR COMES FLYING AROUND THE CORNER, DRIVING A GOLF CART!!

He hangs out the driver’s side, razor wire bat in hand. He swings at the now turning Ulty. The behemoth side steps, grabbing at the cart and redirecting it. Razor’s eyes go wide as the cart crashes into the wall, launching the challenger through the Plexiglas shield and into the wall. Ulty stalks over and grabs Razor by the back of his mask and pulls him to his feet. Razor swings upward with the bat and connects with Ulty’s gut. The Behemoth steps back, seeing the blood welling up from the where the bat hit him. His face goes even darker, if that’s even possible. A ref comes running into the area. Geez, the biggest PPV of the year and the ref shows up late.

Razor v. Ultimatum (Hardcore title)

The Phenom grunts and charges at Razor, who swings the bat at Ultimatum’s head. The Behemoth ducks and grabs Razor around the neck.

Reverse DDT to the concrete!

Blood starts to seep through Razor’s mask. Ulty grabs Razor, ripping him to his feet. He whips the challenger through a door. The camera pans in on the door.

Bowels of the arena.

HUH?!?!?

We have bowels to the arena? Well, I guess Ulty DOES really hang out there. And that means that Razor could be in a world of hurt.

Ultimatum crashes through the remains of the door but Razor is charging up the stairs, lead pipe in hand. He clobbers the champ in the grill, causing him to topple down the remaining stairs. Razor sprints down them, pipe raised over his head. He levels it over the fallen champ and swings. Ulty’s hands shoot up, catching the pipe. Razor can’t believe it! He rips the pipe free of Ulty’s grip but drops it. Ultimatum wraps a big paw around Razor’s neck and drags him over to a table.

Someone smell gas?

Ulty reaches into his pocket with his free hand, procuring a Crimson brand Zippo. He flicks it on and lights the table up. He drops the Zippo and raises Razor high into the air.

END GAME THROUGH THE BURNING TABLE!!

Welcome to Ulty’s playground of fun!!!

Razor rolls out of the flames, still on fire.

STOP, DROP, and ROLL!!!

Razor extinguishes himself but Ulty is on him quick. Razor gets lifted in the air again by the throat, but this time, the masked man kicks Ult in the nads. Ulty drops him and doubles over in pain. Razor looks around for some kind of weapon, any kind of weapon. He finds a handkerchief.

A handkerchief?

The masked man smiles and I know he did because much of the mask is burned away. He sticks in his pocket and bulldogs the recovering Ultimatum to the concrete. He then drags Ulty over to the furnace. Razor reaches into his pocket and extracts the hankie and opens the furnace door. Flames lick at the air. Damn, it’s hot and I’m not even down there but I digress. Razor tosses Ulty headfirst into the doorway and slams the door on his head repeatedly. The smell of burning flesh permeates throughout the arena. Fans are actually vomiting in their seats and in other people’s seats. Anyway.

Ulty back kicks Razor and flings himself back out of the furnace. Bits of his hair are burned away or smoking and his face is a contorted grimace of pain and fury, decorated with some rather nasty burns. Razor gets to his feet and grabs Ulty around the face, digging his fingers into the burns. Ultimatum screams in pain. He flings his hands up and grabs Razor around the face. The Phenom digs his fingers into Razor’s eyes until the masked man takes a step back. The Behemoth stands up at full height, towering over Razor. But the masked man isn’t intimidated. For what it’s worth, I am.

The Phenom grabs Razor and flings him THROUGH the wall. Talk about shoddy craftsmanship. Ulty barrels through behind him, landing a flying knee drop to the chest of Razor. The masked man pushes Ulty to the side and stumbles to his feet, fighting to catch his breath. Ulty rolls and reaches out, trying to grab a hold of anything that can be used as a weapon. He reaches under a table and pulls out a kendo stick. Can anyone tell me what that’s doing down here? Anyone? Meh, nevermind.

Ulty swings and connects with Razor’s noggin, splitting him open some more. Blood splashes against the wall in a gruesome spatter. Ulty raises the kendo to plaster Razor again, but the red man lashes out with a foot, collapsing the Phenom’s knee. Ulty falls to one knee and Razor lashes out again with his foot, taking the Behemoth to the floor. Razor gets to his feet slowly and pulls Ulty to his feet. He Irish whips him towards the wall but Ulty reverses.

SHORT ARM ZIPLINE!!!

Razor spins in the air, landing on his face. Ulty pulls him up.

GORILLA PRESS SLAM!!

Razor crashes through the smoldering remains of the table and Ulty pins.

1..2..Kickout!

Razor rolls to his left, elbowing Ulty between the eyes for good measure. He gets to his feet slowly, the back of his shirt black from the ashes and soot. Ulty is back to his feet as well. The two charge one another, colliding with such force that both of them fall to their feet. Ulty reaches out and grabs Razor by the face, sticking his fingers into his eyes. Razor claws at the Phenom’s hands, trying to free himself. Ulty just pushes harder. Razor yelps in pain and then furiously taps the floor. The ref calls for Ulty to let up and he does so.

Winner of the match and STILL hardcore champion…Ultimatum!!

We’re just driving now. Driving along playing pretend with Mike Johnson. His father, behind the wheel, turns the Eminem CD a little bit lower and asks Mike if he’s feeling a little bit better. Mike says he is, but he’s confused. Sad. He doesn’t know what he did or why this is all happening to him, but he’s beaten and he’s starting to accept it. His father nods solemnly and tells him ‘You know, the moment I first laid my eyes on you, the moment you sprang into the light and you opened your eyes and cried when the doctor spanked your bottom, I knew Mikey. I knew that you were a waste of a soul. You were going to drain us of our resources and our lives and for what? That’s right, nothing. You have never and will never achieve anything. I’m sick of worrying about your welfare, when I shouldn’t even care. So Mikey, tonight we’ll take care of all your problems.’

Mike looks at his father and only catches a glimpse of flowing, burning red eyes looking back at him through the rearview. Mike snaps out of it. He grabs his father and begins choking him from the back seat, but lets go and falls to the ground shortly after Lady Red slams the butt of a .45 caliber Smith & Wesson against the back of his head. The couple looks at each other and smiles.

Trik V. Johnny

"Epic" by Faith No More hits and here comes the Phreak! No pope hat, no robes, no followers, just Johnny Killa. He bounces in the ring and bounces off the ropes warming up for his match. "Headbustas" by Lil' scrappy hits and Tirksta bounces onto the stage and down the ramp. He slides into the ring and LEG DROP TO THE BACK OF HIS NECK! Guess we know why he has that PHD in Strategy. The one is underway as the bell rings

Killa up and he starts stomping away at any body part that he can. He jerks Trik up and whips him into the ropes. Trik bounces back and JK stops in with a cymbol smash to the temples. Before he drops Johnny grabs the Thug and hits him with a Belly to Back Suplex. Johnny to his feet and Trik slowly rising. Johnny picks him up and Nails him with a RAVEPLEX! The Pheral Phox up yet again and Trik is looking bad. Johnny pulls Trik to his feet and the thug fights back with a few rights and a Irish Whip to the ropes. The Green haired Freak is back and DOWNED WITH A SPINEBUSTER! Trik to his feet and he helps his opponent up.

CHICKENWING and a FACELOCK SUPLEX! Both men up again Trik to his feet first. BRAINBUSTER SUPLEX! Both men to their fewet agaisn with Trik being the faster. Trik grabs JK but JK aint having it and hits a Over the head Belly to Belly suplex! What the hell three different suplexes? Both men up again! Johnny Killa taking advantage CobraCLutch! WAIT COUBRA CLUTCH SUPLEX!! Both men slowing down! Both men up again. They charge, JK HITS A GUTWRENCH SUPLEX!!! Both men look alittle tired. Johnny is the one to rise...

WAIT! What's this? Tim Curry has jumped from the crowd. He's on the apron and has gotten the Phreaks attention. The Phreak steps to him and laughs.

"I'm not afraid of you anymore."

Tim points behind him. Johnny ducks as the Skinny Masked man appears and attempts to clothsline him. He's not that stupid. The masked man turns and him and JK look each other down. The man pulls off his mask to reveal CARROT TOP!?!?!? The Phreak stares wide eyed in phear. Heh, I said phear not fear. Wait you can't hear the difference can you? Carrot Top jumps on top of the Phreak and punches him in the face. The Phreak staggers back and jumps out the way! TRIK SPEARS CARROT TOP!!!!

The ref is ringing the bell!

Winner by DQ, Johnny Killa!

Whelp folks, we’re halfway through the card now and wait! Hero of the Day by Metallica starts to play as GQ Styles splits the curtains. In his right hand is an envelope, in his left, his mic. The crowd cheers boisterously. After a few minutes, they calm to a dull roar. Styles opens the envelope and smiles.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, as you know, we are inducting more members into the XAW Hall of Fame. As far as the votes went, only one person made it in. Let me say that this man is long overdue in the XAW Hall of Fame. He is perhaps the greatest technical wrestler to ever step foot in this great federation, though there are others that would beg to differ. Regardless, he will forever be known as the FIRST champion EVER in the XAW. Whether you know him as Sugar Stevens or Adam Darke, he is now a member of the elite. He is an XAW Hall of Famer at long last."

Adam comes out from behind the curtain, a look of uncertainty on his face. Never one to care what everyone thought about him, Darke definitely looks a bit surprised by this honor. Styles hands over a plaque to Adam and walks away, letting him enjoy his moment.

Adam raises the plaque over his head and receives a standing ovation. He waves to the crowd and heads back stage.

GQ comes back out and a couple of the house hands wheel out something large under a tarp.

“You’re in for a real treat tonight folks! We have one of our former superstars returning tonight who’s going to perform a special trick. Under the tarp is a tank that’s too be used for one of the master’s tricks. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, a modified version of Harry Houdini’s ‘Water Torture Cell’ performed by Reeve!!!!!!”

Reeve is being lowered from the rafters and he waves. I don’t think I’ve ever heard booing like this!!! This even tops the boos at Michael Moore’s Academy acceptance speech!!! Reeve doesn’t mind, he’s back in the spotlight. The hired hands remove the tarp and there’s a boxed plexiglass station on top of the water torture cell and Reeve is lowered into it. He stands on the platform, plexiglass surrounding him and about 5 feet over his head. He looks at GQ.

“Well Reeve, in honor of all your great services, we’ll let you perform the trick you requested. However, I figured I’d spice it up a bit and the tank is filled not with water, but with shit. That’s right Reeve, septic waste, BUT THAT’S NOT ALL!!!! The platform you’re on is sort of like a dunk tank, as you’ll see the lever and the target if you look down and to the right and tonight, we have some very special people here with us to assist you. Please give a big round of applause for Mark Mulder and Jason Isringhausen.”

Both men walk out from the back and wave their St. Louis caps to the crowd. GQ hands them each a baseball and sets them up.

“Ok now, there’s only going to be two throws. If both of you miss, Reeve goes free. I know you don’t want to miss and disappoint this crowd. They’ve been waiting years for something like this!”

Both men smile and Reeve is jumping, trying to climb out of this mess, but the plexiglass is just too high! He starts slamming himself into the walls, but the box is so tight and the tank is so bottom heavy, it doesn’t move.

Mulder up first. He winds, he throws! MISS!!!! That’s one down and the crowd groans.

Insringhausen up ‘to the plate’ and it’s all on his shoulders. He looks at the target, winds up and SCORE!!!!!!!!!!

Reeve goes into the shit! Shit splashes all over the inside of the glass and some of it dribbles through the port for… what is that for?? I can’t believe this folks! Reeve has just been dunked into 100% Grade a shit!!!!! MY GOD DOES THAT STINK!!!! The A-bob can smell it over here and it’s not pleasant, but it doesn’t look like this crowd minds! Come on, seriously, between this and the flesh smell, could someone please turn on the Arena vents!? The crowd’s chanting ‘Holy Shit! Holy Shit! I don’t know about that…Wait a second!!! It IS!!! Johnny blessed that tank backstage!!!!!

GQ grabs a metal plate and says, ‘Now, you can perform your trick’. He slides the plate in-between the top of the box and the plexiglass and Reeve is slamming his fists into the top of that thing! You can see his face pressing against the glass now, but it doesn’t look good for the kid right now! GQ signals for the help to wheel that thing out of the stadium.

“Alright! If he gets out, which is extremely unlikely, we’ll give you an update, but for now, back to the action!!!!

The Halloween theme begins and the former tag champs, and apparently the only number one contenders head to the ring with boos. The crowd does not like the transition these gentlemen have made and they’re making that clear folks!

NFH hops in the ring and start slapping each other trying to get pumped up for what’s going to be the match of their lives.

Touching Tongues by Vai introduces the tag champs and they bolt for the ring!!!! Both men drop their belts before sliding in and now all four men are exchanging fists!! Drama blasts Antag! Grif pops Leary in the kisser! Back and forth they go and the poor ref is just trying to get some semblance of order here. Finally the men split up and head to their respective corners. Leary in first for JV and Antag and Grif shoot it out. Antag in first and we’re off!!!

New Found Honor v. Joint Venture (Tag Titles)

Antagonist starts calling Leary out. These men have the size advantage in this match, so I don’t know how many power moves we’re going to see from JV here, but they are both veterans, so the A-Bob is sure there are plenty of tricks up those sleeves!

They lock up! Antag uses his size to throw Leary into the turnbuckle. Leary smiles, runs out and Clothes-line! MISS!!! Antag ducks, but Leary doesn’t miss a beat as he halts hooks Antag’s head and drops the big man with a DDT!!! Antag’s holding his head and Drama looks like he’s going to pop in here. Nope! The ref starts sending him back and now they’re arguing. While all this is going on, Leary rolls Antagonist over and NO! He just punched the former tag champ in the throat!!! AGAIN!!!!!! Antag is on the ground choking and now Griffin tries to hop in! Drama points and the ref stops Griffin, pushing him back. Now Leary drags Antagonist over to his corner and picks him up. Drama holds Antag back by his throat and Leary drives a boot to Antag’s stomach!!! ANOTHER!!! LOW BLOW!!!! Leary just planted his boot into Antag’s secret garden!!!! Drama let’s go and Leary takes the reigns again a split second before the ref turns back around. Looks like it’s going to be one of these matches folks!

Leary picks Antag up and whips him towards the ropes. Antag hits, but Drama’s got his elbow there!!! Antag grabs the back of his head and stumbles towards Leary. Leary sets him up for the Acid hit and wait… YES!!!!! He gets the man up and slams him back down on that big noggin of his!!!! Leary drags Antag over to his corner and tags in the D man. Leary hoists Antag up while Drama climbs to the top rope, smacks his elbow and drops a big elbow right on top of Antagonist’s head again!!!! Antag just crumbles to the ground. Griffin goes to save his partner again, but the ref orders him to get back. Leary picks Antag up for the power bomb, but on the way down, Drama grabs Antag’s shoulders and MY GOD!!!! WHAT AN IMPACT!!!!! Antag took a huge hit with that superbomb!!! The whole freakin’ ring bounced! You would think by now, Griffin would not try to get in when the ref is paying attention. That hit right there just cost them the match if you ask me!

Leary slides out and Drama goes to the top rope again. CURTAIN CALL!!!!! HE MISSES!!!!!! Antag rolls out of the way!!! Drama is down now, rolling in pain. Antag is crawling over to his corner. Leary extending his hand. Drama inches away starts to move. Antag is almost there!!!!! Drama tags! Leary runs across the ring!!! Antag stretches!!!! He’s got itnooooooooo!!!!!!!! Leary grabs his leg and pulls him back to the center of the ring!!!!

Leary walks back over to Griffin. “You thought it was going to be that easy didn’t you punk? We owe you for that hallway bit you pulled, but here’s a little taste of what you’re going to get.” Leary slaps Griffin hard across the face!!!! Griffin getting under the ropes now and Leary turns his back on him, knowing full well what’s coming next. The ref blocks Griffin and pushes him back into his corner. Griffin raises his fist, but he doesn’t want to get disqualified.

Meanwhile, Leary picks up Antag. HITS FROM THE BONG!!!!! He goes for the second one, but can’t get the big man back up, but wait! Drama on the top rope again!!!! CURTAIN CALL!!!! Drama HITS!!!!!! He quickly rolls out of the ring and wouldn’t you know it, as soon as he’s out, the ref turns back around. These guys have it down to a science I tell ya!!!

Leary goes for the cover.

1…………….

2………………………………

Griffin breaks it up. He boots Leary again for good measure. Leary up now, he starts arguing with Griffin and the ref starts yelling at both of them. Drama back in!!!! Drama has his cane!!!!!! Drama hits Antag in the stomach, once!!!! Twice!!!!!! The crowds counting, THREE!!!!! FOUR!!!!!!!! Now, you would think the crowd counting for no apparent reason would cause the ref to look at what’s going on. Weird huh? On five Drama nails Antag on the top of his head!!!! Again Drama slides out and Leary walks away from Griffin going for the pin on Antag again.

1………………..

2…………………………..

Again, Griffin breaks it up. Leary says ‘You want in so bad? Here! He drags Antag back over to NFH’s corner and waits for Griffin to tag himself in. This is a massacre here people. Both men in Joint Venture fresh and one half of NFH out cold. Not good. Say it again people… Not good.

Griffin just gets super pissed by this arrogant move! He tags himself in and CLOTHELINE ON LEARY!!!! Drama runs in! Dropkick on Drama!!!! And Another on Leary! Another on Drama!!! He picks Drama up and hurls him through the ropes!!! He pulls a move out of his partner’s playbook and hits a big knee drop on Leary’s head!!! He picks Leary up. FURY’S EDGE!!!!!!! Leary ducks!! He takes Griffin down with one of his partner’s moves!!! Diamond cutter!!!!!!! Looks like that took the wind out of Grif! He’s down clutching his head now. Leary slowly helps Griffin to his feet, LOW BLOW!!!!! Leary just got popped in the flower child!!!!! Leary goes to one knee and FURY’S EDGE!!!!! HE GETS IT!!!! Leary gets kicked back hard and his head bounces off the mat. Drama comes back in now, but wait!!!! It looks like Antagonist got his senses back!!!! Drama runs over to Grif, sidestepping the ref, but DROP TOE HOLD!!!!! Antag pulled that one from nowhere and Drama now face plants!!!!

Both men in NFH up now. Antagonist picks up Leary, Grif gets Drama to his feet. ANTAGONIST DROP!!!!!!! Leary gets nailed with that one and Griffin again!!!! FURY’S EDGE!!!! FURY’S EDGE!!!!! NO!!!! Drama’s not done!!! He’s been in the match for like two minutes Griffin!!! Drama sidestepped the kick and STOCKS AND BOMBS!!!!! Drama plants Griffin into the mat!!!! Drama up, Antag up and Drama runs in hitting those knife edge chops and the crowd goes nuts!!!!! WHOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

WHOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

He’s worked him into the turnbuckle now and he hits a third, a fourth a fifth!!!! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Drama sets Antag up!!! Standing…NO!!!! Antag pushes Drama away spiraling him right back into Leary!!!! Both men down. The ref is trying to restore some order here and folks, I gotta tell ya, I’m not even sure who the legal man is anymore!!!! My mind wanders when I think about chicken. I apologize for that!

Again Antag and Griffin dig deep. They’ve lasted a lot longer than I would’ve figure them to, but enough of that!!!! Antag sets up Drama for the Antagonist Drop, Grif…Again with Fury’s Edge as he’s following Leary’s movements to right himself.

Drama gets an arm out and REVERSE!!!!! Antag had him locked in, but Drama hoists the bigger man and STANDING OVATION!!!! MY GOD!!!!!!! Antag down!!!! Griffin, FURY’S EDGE!!!!! HE HITS!!!!!! Leary down again, but Drama comes from behind! STANDING OVATION ON GRIFFIN!!!!! GRIFFIN DOWN!!!! ANTAG DOWN!!!!!! LEARY….LEARY PULLING OUT HIS ‘WE GOT THIS BITCH SEALED’ JOINT!!!!!!

Drama keeps sending kicks to Antag keeping him down. Leary rolls over for the pin on Griffin, the joint dangling.

1…………………

2…………………………………………

3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THAT’S THE MATCH FOLKS!!!!! The veteran’s just had more working for them in this one!!!!

Winner and still Tag Champions – Joint Venture

Leary takes a huge drag off that thing and blows the smoke right into Griffin’s face. “Maybe next time son, but get a hundred more years of training.” Leary and Drama laugh, collect their belts and head to the back. Antag and Grif just glare back at them. This one doesn’t appear to be a dead issue just yet folks!!!!

Once again, Hero of the Day starts to play and GQ makes his way from backstage as a battered NFH pass him. GQ calls for the crowd to quiet down.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, I have another announcement. The Board and I have talked and decided that Adam Darke will not go into the Hall of Fame alone. We will be inducting another man that personified what it was to be in the XAW. It was widely considered that Javex Valerius was the heart and soul of the XAW but this man was as close to that as one could be. This man laid his body on the line for your enjoyment on many occasions and helped put the XAW on the map. He is one third of the Hardcore Trinity. He is Crimson!"

Imperial March by Metallica starts to play and out walks the Conflagrant Hero. He waves his hands to the crowd and accepts his plaque, honoring him as part of the XAW Hall of Fame.

Let A-Bob go on record as saying it's a long time coming that both of these men are in the Hall of Fame. They helped make the XAW what it was and now they will forever be remembered as such. The A-Bob is getting a little choked up and I'm not an emotional person. Aw f#ck it. Give them both a giant hand.

“We’ve also got one more award to give out tonight folks. We had a small celebration at the end a Massacre, but here for posterity, I am proud to present VLAD with a plaque commemorating a Hundred wins.”

Not Meant for me kicks in and Vlad comes out of the back. He takes his award, shakes GQ’s hand and… Shouldn’t he just stay out here? He’s up next right? Do I have to digress again? Fine, but don’t say I didn’t warn you. GQ standing in the middle of both men, takes their hands and raises them high. Again, the crowd is on their feet! I haven’t seen this many standing ovations since Drama wrestled Reeve!!! DAMMIT!!!! You made me digress again!!!!!! All three men head to the back. I guess we have a little time before the next match so, serious question….

Is it just me or is Jared’s Subway gig the sweetest gig in the world? I may be fat, but I’m a handsome fella! He’s this big dork who lost weight eating Subway subs??? Bullshit, the A-Bob says! Check that man’s system for crack cocaine or smack or something!! Meanwhile he makes all this money making commercials, but I can tell you, Subway definitely has a crack team heading up their marketing campaigns. I saw a commercial today and Subway was claiming to have doubled their menu because now you can get all sandwiches toasted or untoasted!!!!!! If the best thing your marketing department can come up with to double the menu is by heating your sandwiches god help you!!! The next thing you know Quickie Marts will have 1300 types of subs because of everything you can put on them! WHEN DOES IT ALL END!!!!!!!????????????????????????? Whoops! Back to the action.

Assassin v. Vlad ( World Cruiserweight Title)

"The Ripper" by Judas Preist and out walks that whacko son of a bitch, Assassin. He smiles to much really! It annoys me! How can someone be so happy all the time? He enters the ring just as "Not Meant for Me" by Wayne Static hits. Assassin looks for his opponent but nothing? What the hell? The lights went out. I can't see anything! They come back on and Assassin and Vlad are in the ring staring each other down. Assassin smiles and Vlad so does Vlad right before nailing him in the kisser! Thank you lord! And theres the bell.

Assassin staggers back. Vlad ccharges and gets dropped with a drop toe hold. Both men up. Assassin whips Vlad to the Turnbuckle. Assassin charges. BULLETS TO THE TURNBUCKLE!!! Vlad sidestepped that one quickly. Vlad grabs Assassin by his legsand pulls him to the mat. He doesn't let go of the legs and flips him upside down and wraps his legs on the top ropes. Wait, Tree of Woe!?!? Assassin smiles at Vlad and starts doing modified situps? He comes up one to many times and meets an elbow to his face. Vlad to his feet and he starts with a barrage of kicks on the Ass Man. Assassin triesd to block them but not doing so well. Vlad backs up and runs and RUNNING DROPKICK ! Assassin is in pain! He frees one leg but Vlad aint done yet! He locks in the Mandible Claw and Assassin is choking!

He gets smart with his free foot and slams it to Vlads skull! Vlad backs off and Assassin frees his leg. Vlad pulls him to his feet. He sets him up IMPALER!!! The cover.

1

2

Kickout!

Assassin isn't done yet! Vlad gets up. TO THE ROPES! SPRINGBOARD BLOOD MOONSAULT!!! ONTO KNEES!!! Assassin saw it coming! Vlad grabbing his ribs! both men slow to recover. Vlad to his feet now! BULLETS TO THE RIBS!!!! Assassin pulled that oput his ass! And it was a good strategy too! Assassin trying to get to his feet. He does and he grabs Vlads feet. Catapault to the robes! A kippup! ONE SHOT TWO KILLS!!! Assassin taking advantage of the momentum locks in the Sharpshooter! Vlad screams in pain! He looks up and sees the robes! THey are in reaching distance! He reaches out and grabs them! Assassin releases and he makes a flipping motion to the crowd! They cheer and Vlad gets to his feet! Assassin runs past him and 420 SPRINGBOARD DDT!!!! Cover

1

2

SHOULDER UP!!!!! VLAD ISN"T FINISHED YET! Assassin to his feet and HOLYSHIT! SO IS VLAD!!!!! Assassin charges VLAD SIDESTEPS AND STRIPS HIM! ASSASSIN FALLS TO HIS KNEES BUT DOESN'T RISE! Vlad looks on confused and Assassin goes beat red in the face. We hear a low rumbling sound.

HOLY SHIT!!! WHAT THE HELL!?!?

ASSASSIN JUST HAD A BLOW OUT!!! REALLY!!! THE SEAT OF HIS PANTS JUST BLEW OUT!!! WE CAN SEE HIS ASS!!!! A GREEN MIST SHOT OUT AS WELL! VLAD IS COVERED WITH IT! SO IS ASSASSIN's ASS CHEECKS! ASSASSIN IS RUNNING AROUND GRABBING AT HIS ASSHOLE!!! He bounces around and ends upo on the top rope Vlad seems blinded. He opens his eyes and POINT BLANK!!!!!! Assassin covers!

1

2

KICKOUT AGAIN!

Vlad wants to retain that title! Assassin shakes his head. Assassin up and he leans on the ropes looking out. Guess he doesn't know what else to do. Someone cover his ass! Please? VLAD IS UP!! Assassin doesn't realize it! Vlad Turns him around Asssasisn is shocked! IMPLAER!!!!

Vlad to his feet! He runs to the corner! FLY BY NIGHT!!! He covers!!!

1

2

3!!!!!!!!! Winner of the match, and still Champion, Vlad! To the back? No VLad and Assasisn claear the ring aand head to the back.

Lights, Sirens, SOBER! Mangler walks down to the ring with a mask of determination. He climbs the stairs, bows to the boos and relaxes in the far corner leaning against the turnbuckles. He has tight wraps over those hands, covering the Frankenstein stitches.

The Kid’s Aren’t Alright slips over the mean bass line and Darke walks stiffly out, hand hovering over the guard rail in case he falters. He’s got the belt and a Mic in hand, flanked by GQ. Mangler hops to attention, puts his hands on his hips and just stares at both men. This can’t be good.

Mangler v. Darke (Heavy Weight Title)

Darke and GQ climb into the ring to some cheers. Darke gets face to face with Mangler and begins –

“Mangler, we’ve been through a lot these past couple months. Too much for any sane person, one might say. We through an hour of hell in our Iron man match only to wrestle to a 0-0 draw. We did our best of three last month, and again, no declared winner. You hurt me pretty bad in these months. More so than I think even GQ was aware. Everyone wonders why I was absent, well I’ll tell you. I’ve been getting physical therapy for my ankle and if everything doesn’t work out, I might need an operation. I ‘can’ wrestle you tonight, but I don’t want to risk a career ending injury. So Mangler, since you’re the one that’s been fighting so hard and since you’re the only one who’s pushed me to my limits in a long time, I think you’re the only worthy person to have this belt. With GQ’s permission, it’s yours to defend after the break.”

GQ nods and Adam places the belt over Mangler’s shoulder.

“I understand this might not have been how you wanted it, but I need some time to get my ankle right, and some time to reflect. I’ve gone off my path and I need to find my way to be fully healed.”

Mangler rips the mic from Darke’s hand and pulls the belt from his shoulder.

“You’re right Darke, this isn’t the way I wanted it, but someone’s got to defend it and it honors me that you think I’m up to the job, man. Just know you’re a great champion, now a Hall of Famer and one of the last true professional’s in this business. I accept this belt on one condition. If I still have it when you return, you get a shot any time you want, no matter what they do to the rankings.”

Darke nods and Mangler grabs his right hand and raises it. Both men, arms held high, get another standing ovation. Hero of the day plays them all out.

Match – No Match

New Heavy Weight Champion

by bequeathment,

MANGLER!!!!

Here we are again, just you and I. The BMW pulls off the road into the woods. It drives a good stretch to an opening deep inside of nowhere and they stop. Mike’s parents help him out of the car and drop him face first onto the warm soil. Lady Red slaps him hard across the face and Mike slowly opens his eyes. It dawns on him where he is and what has happened to him and he goes for a strike. His father simply kicks his feet out from under him and aims the gun.

‘Get on your knees Mikey. It’s over for you. All over. Soon you will be free.’ He hands the gun to Lady Red who aims it, keeping Mikey in place.

‘Son, I gave you life and you did nothing with it. For that sin alone you should beg for OUR forgiveness, not the other way around. I gave you life my precious boy and now I will take it away’.

Mikey, on his knees as if praying at some sort of sick ritual, looks into his mothers eyes. Black, as is her heart at this moment. Mike notices her ring. It’s beautiful, but foul. Tainted. Evil. He sees his father, eyes red and smiling, wearing the same piece of jewelry. He wants to tell them that the rings are evil. That Cerberus is controlling them and if they just took them off, everything would go back to normal. He wanted to ask how they got them, why they accepted them. He wanted to say I love you, please don’t do this. He wanted it all to go away, but not like this. All these thoughts, a mile a second flowed through his mind. He decided what he would say. He opened his mouth to speak.

A flash of light, the sound of a single cannon and a wisp of smoke all emitted through the barrel of the gun.

Mike’s head lurches back and he flops over on his side. Not face down and pretty like in movies, but what would really happen if bullet of a .45 was sent through your skull.

Lady Red lowers the gun. Her hand is shaking uncontrollably. She’s petrified of what she’s done, but it was necessary. It was commanded of her.

‘It’s done.’ Mike’s dad says. ‘Let’s go home.’ He takes Lady Red’s hand and they get back into the car. He starts it and flooring the gas pedal, dirt is sent all over Mike’s face and body. It sticks, wet with blood, to his head.

Wasn’t that fun? I like to play pretend, but I admit, I wasn’t being forthright with you. This is real and you’re the only people who know about it. Don’t bother looking. You won’t find him. He’ll be there for days, weeks, months. The crow’s may find him and use his eyes for appetizers, before they eat his tongue, before again, they start picking at his head wound for the sweet meat, his brain. They maybe wolves will find him and pick his bones clean, or maybe a hunter’s dog will find the mess that used to be a man. An athlete. A son.

Remember, you promised. Keep it a secret.

We’re backstage now with our new interviewer Gregory Hall. How appropriate! Hall, Hall! Get it? Yeah, see me stretch, hear me groan. Maybe I should take a comedy workshop or something cause these jokes are stillborn I tell ya!

Gregory, very tall, very thin and with glasses has cornered none other than Javex Valerius!!!

“Javex, I just want to get your thoughts on your match tonight”

“Sure thing skinny minny. You really should have a protein shake or something man. You know, this is a HUGE deal tonight. The buzz is in the air, the electricity is here, and best of all - Valerius and Kult in an IRON MAN MATCH?! WOOOO! 60 MINUTES of pure-non-stop technical BRILLIANCE my friends. THIS IS XAW!"

Greg nods in attention and you can hear the crowd cheering in the background.

"That being said...this ain't the last you're gonna hear of XAW, we know that for SURE! And I know you're THRILLED about that!"

“You bet I am Javex. I just got this gig and thirteen kids to feed. I think my wife is cheating on me, the head gasket on my Geo Metro blew, I found out that my house shouldn’t even be standing because of termite damage. I just need the money my man. But yes, I’m Thrilled!”

“Well...I'm thrilled too. Just as thrilled as everyone else. So then, TONIGHT! I'm gonna make this a night to remember! Because, Steven's gonna be back, XAW's gonna be back, but me?" Javex grins at the interviewer, "Tonight...well, tonight is the last flight of the Dragon. Take pictures. Remember this moment. You'll tell your kids about this for YEARS. OH!!! And tell your wife I said hi.”

“You betcha Jav…Wait, what?”

“Nothing!” Javex says laughingly as he heads to the ring.

“A Night to remember folks. You heard it here!”

And now for your main event. The following two men need no introduction. One of them has been repeatedly called the heart and soul of the XAW. He is the high flyer that all high flyers aspire to be. The other is a technical wizard. He is known by several monikers. Both are Hall of Famers and legends and tonight, they share the ring for the last time.

I AM…

I AM…

I AM…

THE DEITIES DRAGON!! Roars the crowd. Papercut starts to play as black light dragons fly around the darkened arena as the one and only Javex Valerius sprints to the ring. He slides in and mounts the turnbuckle, raising his hand in the air. He hops down and does the same in thing to the other turnbuckles in succession.

The arena goes black as Highway to Hell starts to play. Standing at the top of the ramp is the Triumph of Technicality, the Deacon of Devastation, the Master of Disaster, Llama of the Ladder, the one, the only, Steven Kult!! He saunters to the ring, sliding in. He walks up to Javex and immediately starts talking his smack. The Dragon smiles. The ref calls for the bell and off we go.

Javex Valerius v. Steven Kult (60 minute Iron Man match)

60:00

The two former champions circle the ring, daring each other to make the first move. Javex feints in but Kult doesn’t move. He fires an overhand right at the Dragon but Javex ducks underneath and kicks him in the back of the right knee. Kult stumbles but doesn’t fall. Javex darts in quickly, hitting a Russian leg sweep. Kult rolls to the side and hops to his feet and charges. Javex hits a hip toss. Kult pops up and gets taken down with another hip toss. Javex runs the ropes as Steven gets to his feet. The Dragon takes flight, attempting a cross body. Kult catches him and in one fluid motion sends the Dragon careening to the other side of the ring with a fall away slam. Javex lands on his feet!!!

GLORIA POR DOLOR!!!

KULT DUCKS!!!

He catches the leg of Javex but the Dragon moves quickly. He attempts an enziguri but again, Kult ducks underneath him. Steven moves quickly, grabbing Javex around the neck.

Kult Killings!!!

He goes for the pin but the Dragon kicks out before one. Javex stumbles to his feet and Steven starts to run the ropes. He charges at Valerius but Javex hits a drop toe hold. Kult’s face collides with the mat hard but he manages to get to his feet. Javex springboards off the ropes.

JVX CLOTHESLINE!! WHAT AN INCREDIBLE CLOTHESLINE THAT WAS!! FRIGGIN OUTSTANDING!!!

He hits Steven head on. Kult pinwheels backwards and topples over the ropes. Javex slingshots himself over, but Kult gets his knees up. Javex rolls over in pain. Steven pulls himself up with the security railing. He stumbles over to Javex and picks him up, hefting him over his shoulders. Kult gets a running start.

POWERSLAM INTO THE STAIRS!!

The ref screams at Kult, trying to get him back into the ring. He starts the count. Kult shrugs and grabs Javex by his hair and tosses him into the ring. He slides in behind him and covers.

1..2..3!

Steven Kult.

43:21

Steven holds the pin longer, trying to get a cheap fall.

1..2..Kickout!

Kult nods in appreciation and pulls Javex to his feet. Javex head butts him between the eyes and slides in behind him.

CALL OF THE DEITY!!!

Kult swings his arms in circles trying to get the Dragon to let up. Javex has that determined look in his eye. Kult falls to one knee, fading. The ref goes through the motions and on the third drop of Steven’s arm, calls for the bell.

All square.

Javex gets to his feet and falls into the corner, trying to catch his breath. He should be trying to pin while SAK is unconscious but that’s not the way the Dragon works I guess. A-Bob is impressed. Steven starts to stir and crawls over to the ropes, pulling himself to his feet. Javex walks over to him slowly.

ALONE IN THE DARKNESS!!

He covers,

1..2..SAK gets a shoulder up!

Javex smirks and pulls SAK to his feet. He whips him into the ropes and dropkicks Steven to the ground. Javex tries a standing senton but SAK rolls out of the way. Javex hits hard as SAK struggles to his feet. We’re barely into this match and both men look wiped.

37:18

SAK makes his way to Javex and pulls him up.

SAK FU!!

Javex gets planted. Kult rolls him over and pins, propping his feet on the ropes.

1..2..KICKOUT!!

Kult can’t believe it. Javex slides out of the ring and Kult stands by watching him. The Dragon grabs a chair and slides back into the ring. He levels it at Kult and takes a swing but SAK ducks. The chair slams into the ropes and ricochets backwards, striking him in the face. Javex drops the chair and then does a face plant. SAK pulls him to his feet and drags him over to the turnbuckle, slamming his face into all three levels before dropping him to the mat. Javex lays there, motionless. Blood starts to pool underneath him. SAK pulls him to his feet and whips him towards the ropes.

Reverse!!

STANDING OVATION FROM JAVEX!!!

With what appears to be his second wind, Javex hits the top turnbuckle and leaps into the air.

FLY BY NIGHT!!!

JAVEX IS USING OTHER PEOPLE’S MOVES!!

SAK is still on the mat, writhing in pain. Javex pulls him to his feet.

DRAGONRANNA!!

He pulls SAK up and hits a Dragon Suplex! SAK is in a bad way right now. Javex goes for the pin.

1..2..3!

Javex leads 2-1

The Dragon hops to his feet, hamming it up for the crowd. Kult grabs him from behind by the tights and rolls him up.

1..2..3!

2-2. All Sqaure.

25:52

Kult seems to be trying to one up Javex at every turn. Pins and submissions are coming quickly. SAK grabs the ropes and pulls himself up. Javex pushes himself up and the two combatants meet in the center of the ring. SAK blasts him with a stiff right. Javex returns with a knife edge chop to the chest. The exchange them again and again. SAK stumbles backwards and Javex falls to one knee. The Franchise hops into the air, dropping a knee to the top of Javex’s melon. The Dragon topples to the mat and SAK pulls him back up.

DISENFRANCHISED!!!

Javex screams in pain as the crossface is locked in. He reaches for the ropes and grabs on but SAK won’t let up. The ref pulls Big Stevie Cool off of Javex and the Dragon crumples to the mat again. SAK makes a beeline for him and rips him to his feet. Javex takes him down and slaps on an ankle lock.

SAK screams in pain and immediately taps.

3-2 Javex!

Javex falls back as Steven gets to his feet, limping just a bit. He kicks Javex in the grill and covers, putting his feet on the ropes again.

1..2..3!

3-3. All square.

Where were you on that one ref? Geez, big PPV, you’d think that we could get some competent refs. Alas, it’s not to be.

Both men struggle to their feet. Javex grabs SAK.

ONE HANDED FINAL DELIVERY!!

SAK crumples to the mat and Javex covers.

1..2..SAK with a shoulder up!

Javex slams his fist into the mat and springboards off the ropes.

JEFFERSON AIRPLANE!!

SAK gets his knees up. Javex crashes into them and hits the mat.

10:00

These men are almost spent. Moves are getting slower and slower. Javex kippups and then SAK does the same. The stare each other down, both breathing hard. Both of them run the ropes, in opposite directions.

DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE!!

SAK and Javex hit the mat, each with an arm draped over the other one. The ref looks at them and shrugs.

1..2..3!

4-4. Still all square.

Both men start to crawl for the ropes and pull themselves up. SAK limps towards Javex and both men tie each other up. I think at this point, both men are just trying to stay standing.

SAK FU BY THE FRANCHISE!!!

Cover,

1..2..shoulder up by Javex!!

SAK looks like he could give two shits but at this point, I think both men should be happy that they can still move.

SAK gets what has to be his final wind and rips Javex up. He sends him running the ropes and lines him up.

SUPERKICK!!

JAVEX SLIDES UNDERNEATH HIM!!!

Leg sweep and the Franchise is down. Javex looks up at the clock.

3:33

He pulls SAK to his feet and slides in behind him.

CALL OF THE DEITY!!!

SAK falls to the ground, Javex’s chin striking his head. He hits the mat. SAK covers.

1..2..Kickout!

Javex scrambles to his feet. SAK looks at him, exhausted. The Dragon pulls him up again. SAK moves first with a short arm clothesline. Javex spins in the air and lands on his chest. SAK pulls him up again and hits a quick snap suplex.

Cover,

1..2..kickout!

SAK looks up at the clock for the final time.

3..2..1!!!

SAK collapses to the mat exhausted as the ref calls for the bell.

Winner of the match…Draw!

WHAT A SHOW!!!!!! It’s been a lot of fun folks!!!! This is the A-Bob and I need my chicken fix! Good night!

It’s been over for an hour or so now. The stands have closed, the fans are gone. Even the stragglers waiting for autographs have thinned in number. GQ straightens his desk for what may be the last time, pulls out his spare bottle of Gin, placing it into his leather briefcase. He stands, loosens his tie and undoes the top button, before grabbing his case, swinging his suit jacket over his shoulder, and shutting the lights.

As he closes and locks the door to his former office he notices his name plate. GQ smiles sadly, and then places his briefcase on the cold concrete. ‘GQ Styles - President’ it states carved white into faux wood grained plastic. He slides it out, places it into his left pant pocket, collects his things and makes his way to the ring.

GQ’s heels can be heard through the empty halls, in a steady rhythm. He looks around, but there’s no one jumping out of corners. All is silent, except for a swishing sound. As GQ makes his way near the curtain, the sound is plainly recognized. Kidd X, the XAW’s one man cleaning crew, is sweeping in between the rows. Kidd stops, looks over at GQ, and waves. GQ waves back at the goofy sonofabitch and takes one last look at the ring. A single spotlight still shines down over the squared circle. Plywood, steel, matting and cord, make up something basic, but yet so complex. A simple framework for two too many people, idle, until the forces inside it unleash. That is the precise moment when a simple object transforms into a thing of magic.

GQ lets out a long, sad sign. Then he hears it. Whistling. A simple whistle from a simple mind, yet it has purpose, this tune. Through the huge arena a song, whistled by the sweeper over the swishing of his broom.

A small smile plays at the corners of GQ’s lips. He swings his jacket over his shoulder and starts whistling his way out. ‘Always Look on The Bright Side of Life’. Try it now with GQ, whistle it and see if you don’t smile. Won’t you whistle GQ out with me?

Thank you. He deserves it.

THAT’S THE SHOW FOLKS!!!!!!!!

REMEMBER, IN ABOUT A MONTH WE’LL BE BACK FULL FORCE SO –

Rest, relax, do whatever it is you crazy cats like to do. Get those creative juices flowing because if we don’t see progress after the first month or so back, you will check into the halls of the XAW and find Rodeo riders, clowns or maybe even something really, really LAME like a RaYnE Forest!!!!

And if at all possible, please try to get a couple new faces.

Again, thank you and hope you had as much fun as we did with this one!

CC