My Uncle and I

 

                  The Morning began with an acute ring of the telephone. Dad rose from the breakfast table and walked over to pick up the phone. “Hello? Yes... Yes...” He suddenly became silent and soon rammed down the phone. He had an expression of disbelief on his face. I instantly knew that it was news that I had dreaded for months. His words traumatized me. “Your uncle passed away this morning.” Trying to deny what I heard, I tried asking again. All that came out were cut off words that barely connected to form the trembling phrase, “Uncle… Dead? Too soon…” The response was the same, my dad’s monotonic voice telling me about my uncle’s death. He was too grieved to show any emotions towards the situation. That particular day, the sky was looking gloomier than ever. The day my uncle passed away, leaving me behind in the world that he no longer was a part of. The very person, who taught me how to appreciate everything, disappeared from my life in a flash.

 

                  My uncle was an average man with an average family, average job, average appearance, but one thing that distinguished him from the crowd was his ‘perfect’ personality. Wherever he went, he was a delight to everyone. Whenever my uncle was around, the room just seemed to lighten up, nice and warm. Everybody became a cheerful child around him, beaming with uncontrollable smiles. He worked nightshifts as a businessman which allowed him to take time out for me during the day. Sometimes he would doze off while reading a book, watching a video, or playing a game with me, and every time, I had my methods of waking him up.

“pinch Wake up!”

“Hey that was mean..”

I was young, naïve, and only thought of what I wanted, not considering what my uncle needed, more time for himself.

 

After his death, I spent days in my room reminiscing my past times with him. “Uncle, you’re going to get big big holes in your lungs!” I remembered how I used to complain to my uncle about how he smoked too much. Although I was ignorant of the atrocious effects from smoking, I simply loathed the appalling smell of it. Whenever he was around, it was as if I was straying through a fog. That was how habitually, and how much he smoked. The times I spent with him were during my adolescent years, when I had no knowledge of practically anything and one if the least things I could care about was cancer. If I knew, maybe he wouldn’t have passed away that quickly, and that thought caused me to blame his death on myself to some degree.

 

                  I used to call my uncle “Jak-eun abba” which means “little father”. This illustrated my fondness to him. Everywhere we went, people told him that he was lucky to have a daughter who                 looked just like him, and I would often dream that I really was his daughter. I always wished that he could be my dad instead of my real dad, who never seemed to have enough time for me. I ceaselessly complained to him about my parents. Eventually, one day he sat me down and started to explain.

“Yesung, you know uncle loves you to death right?”

“yeah, of course! No need to say it ten thousand times you know~”

“But you see, your parents are working hard because they want to buy you clothes, they want to buy you yummy food, and even the toys you like. Even though they’re a little bit busy, just remember they’re working this hard just for you.”

After having that little chat, it opened my eyes for a wider perspective and allowed me to see and appreciate my parents from a different angle.

 

                  The fact that I spent the most time with him made me think it was obvious that he favored me over all my cousins. Nevertheless, he never failed to put me down when it came to being fair. From a third person’s perspective, it would seem logical that he was being reasonable. However in the mind of a 6 year old, my favorite uncle scolding me instead of my cousins never seemed rational. Under these circumstances, I often became sulky toward him but he would always advise me that I was wrong. He taught me by action, that being fair was exceedingly important.

 

                  While he lived, my uncle influenced and encouraged me through a great deal of things. Looking at him in his daily life, spending every bit of my time with him, I learned how to love and care for others, and also came to respect my parents whom I used to feel rather distant with. People frequently said that I looked and acted like a miniature version of him, and often considered me as a gift that he molded and left before he had to leave this world.