STUFF I'D DO IF I WERE A MEMBER OF THE BIG BROTHER HOUSEHOLD...
>>> Use all my clothing, bedding, pillows and luggage to make a little fort out of my bed. Then I'd spend a whole week firmly ensconsed within it's confines, shouting 'halt! Who goes there? Friend or foe?!' at anyone who comes near.

>>> Run around pretending I'm a humming bird, like the security tapes of Apu in the simpsons ('much apu about nothing'...where he moves in with the simpsons).

>>> Dress up like a pirate, and dig up the backyard looking for treasure. This would of course be accompanied by the now legendary saying of 'yarr' a lot.

>>> Work a circuit of all the cameras in the house, stating at one and gradually making my way around, repeating the follwoing process for each one:
- stand just below the camera's field of vision
- gradually raise my head into view
- dart my eyes to the left and right a bit
- assume a sly grin and snicker
- slowly lower my head out of range
- move on unseen to the next camera
>>> Start digging my own escape tuneel, making it really obvious what I'm doing. This would involve whistling the theme to 'the great escape' a lot. (How could you not?).

>>> Sneak into the toilet and eat flowers, in full view of the camera. (a la Homer's 'secret shame'). Tulips for preference. ("so that explains his mysterious trip to Holland...")

>>> Make everyone watch 'the dark crystal' with me, then make those 'mmmMMMMMMMMmmmm' noises that Chamberlain makes, in the middle of the night. (My sister does this to me, it's fucking scary...)
>>> Appoint myself 'house commandant', and pretend I'm colonel Klink for the duration of my stay.

>>> Be REALLY preachy and straightedge to everyone, then get on the smack in the diary room.

>>> Change my life story every five minutes. I'd fully make up brothers, sisters, crazy transvestite uncles, and deny their existance only minutes later.

>>> Write 'the ataris fucking suck' on every available surface. Not because it's funny mind you, just because I hate the band.
"mmmmMMMMMmmmm..."
>>> Listen to nothing but Ultimatum...SOW THE PAIN!!!

>>> Bring in all my transformers toys (I have like 30 odd), and sit on the living room floor and play with them heaps.

>>> Introduce the household to my imaginary friend, and insist he or she is given a place at every meal.

>>> Carry out indepth and heated conversations with her/him.

>>> Vote for him/her in evictions.

>>> In the event that I'm evicted, say she/he has volunteered to go in my place.

>>> Prank call all the other contestants, saying I'm a representative from New Idea and that "we're keen to start the bidding for your story early".

>>> Finish everything I say with 'in accordance with the prophecy'.

>>> Spend three days in a corner of the bathroom with my back to the camera, staring at the wall.

>>> Do spoken word renditions of Pitfall songs in the diary room. "It's not about the clothes you wear, it's a drug free way of life, man..."
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