| Bedtime for Chameleons © Xeen - may 2003 A day (or more) In the life of Phlox PG 13 (sexual innuendos) this is the fifth instalment of the series 'The Enterprise Incident' (a sequel to The Magic PADD). Thanks Kat! IOU ;o) * PART 5 * "What can I do for you Mr. Reed?" Dr Phlox asked matter-of-factly with a quick glance towards the sickbay doors. "It is about time you come to me. Someone reported that you acted very oddly in the mess hall lately…" he trailed. Feeding that zoo was so time consuming that having real patients got in the way of his trade. Since his trade was healing Humans –and Vulcan- on the ship, he had to comply. Some noisy rattle accompanied the salad and apple Dr Phlox let drop into the cage. The armory officer stopped where he was, indecision written on his face. "I am experiencing visions," he stated flatly. Phlox regained some composure and faced him, a huge smile spread all over his face, making Reed shiver. "Let me be the judge of that Mr. Reed," the good doctor showed him to the biobeds. "If you would let me?" He made a mental note to check whether the tachyon radiation emanating from the quantum field could have permanently affected the officer. He doubted it. Nevertheless, he was very close to Archer when the captain was abducted – again – and -… "I am not feeling so well, doctor. Sometimes I feel like… I'm someone else," Reed explained while lying down. The bio-bed beeped startling him. His face reddened and he closed his eyes in anticipation. "I even stopped drinking my…" "You were saying you had visions?" The doctor interrupted. "Could you be more specific? I am sure that you drink with extreme caution and I assume never to the point of being intoxicated." "I was going to say my evening herbal tea," protested Reed with a frown of disgust. "Drinking on the ship would be a breach…" "Very well!" With that, Phlox put some sort of jelly pill on Reed's tongue and took a thorough scan of his head. "Nothing seems wrong… so far," he smiled, "if you except an elevation of your enzymatic response to the Torbulean jelly fish." Reed choked on the living pill and proceeded to stand up only to fall in Phlox's arms. "I…er… feel… feel dizzy?" "Don't worry, it's a mere hormonal reaction to the jelly fish. Everything should be back to normal in a few minutes." Dr Phlox turned his back to Reed who was gulping and desperately trying to speak. "You should regain speech within the same parameters. I am afraid that you're developing an antagonizing reaction to the poison in the jelly fish. Nothing that I cannot handle, don't worry," he said with a joyful composure. "You will have to be careful with those jelly fish from now on. Too bad we have to add them to your already quite extensive list of allergies. They have proven to be really handy in the treatment of venereal diseases… Just kidding," he added rapidly when he saw with –too- late concern the armory officer turning green. He was still having trouble communicating properly with Humans. He had made some progress, thanks to the Medical Exchange Program. After several months spent on Earth and almost two years aboard the Enterprise, he felt part of the picture. Too bad he didn't always see the picture clearly. It was easier to use the vernacular patterns with Trip Tucker as he was always ready for a joke or a set up. His carefree southern character was easy on people and Phlox deeply enjoyed his company. Nevertheless, Archer was more his type. At least, nobody ever suspected him to be the one who put that glue on the PADD. The armory officer was always carrying it along with him and it was too much of a temptation to meet the challenge. His Cheshire smile went even wider. Quite an accomplishment in itself, he thought, since it was the result of a bet with the Captain and a reluctant Sub-commander. His only regret was that he added an alien component from Risa to stick the PADD to Reed's hands. On Denobula, he would have done it on his head. On Enterprise, he had to improvise and something went wrong. Probably too much droppings of these royal ants from Tersah. He would never have thought though. But Lieutenant Reed was a walking allergy encyclopedia. He put an end to his rambling when checking the erratic readings from the biobed monitors. No. That couldn't be. Not twice on the same ship with two different people… Better check it again. Now *that* was odd. Two different cerebral patterns showing in the same body and no obvious pregnancy. "Are you experiencing any nausea, Mr. Reed? Swelling? Perspiring?" he asked. He shrugged regretting that human males don't show that peculiar shade of blue on the ears when they were pregnant. Very convenient indeed that some species display alternative colors to show their condition. Stop daydreaming Phlox. This is an Earth ship. Consider yourself lucky: you're in the twilight zone. And human male don't get impregnated –well, most of the time… "No!" Phlox opened his eyes wider and waited for Reed's uncommon outburst to stop. "I'm not pregnant! I am a Vulcan," Reed strongly stated. "I am cold and tired of being patronized. I am only in need of meditation. I cannot maintain control on my emotions any longer." Fascinating. "Very well. So maybe you ate meat for your last supper and you are experiencing a slight indigestion." Phlox joked. Think. Think fast Phlox. Reed's hand flashed to his temple as the doctor backed swiftly away from the biobed. Even with his training and with the Sub-commander's lessons, Reed was not as fast nor as deadly as a genuine Vulcan would be, Phlox realized, but his frustration and anger were growing and would lead him to harm him if he didn't manage to put a stop to it. Maybe T'Pol attempted a mind meld on him to force him to copulate and something went wrong? That would be utterly fascinating. He took another step away from the bed. Reed was now standing and approaching with a mad flare in the eyes. Lieutenant Reed was obviously going through Pon Farr after his encounter with Sub Commander T'Pol… or maybe was he experiencing a backlash of T'Pol's Pon Farr. Either way, he was clearly acting like a Vulcan going through that specific ritual of mating. Even more fascinating… Phlox hand flashed to Reed's arm and one could hear the distinctive hiss of the hypo-spray. Reed collapsed almost immediately. "Phlox to the bridge. May I see you to sickbay, Captain?" "On my way Doctor," responded Archer at once. * "Through the EVA suit?" Archer asked puzzled. "How could that be?" "Vulcans are known to be touch telepaths, Captain. Theoretically, with the sudden urge induced by the virus, one can imagine that her abilities to do so were enhanced." "So," Archer said as he moved around the bio-bed to get a better look at Reed, "what you are saying is that she sort of hypnotized him?" "The analogy is quite correct Captain. I might say that I had no idea that it was possible. There is nothing in the Vulcan data base that can help me in that matter." "And still, I presume you are not eager to share what happened on the ship when I was *away*," he cocked his head and addressed the doctor with an enticing smile. Phlox beamed at the smile and straightened even more. "That is privileged information Captain. I am confident that you would expect the same behavior on my part were you the patient," he stated. Archer did not even try to hide his smile. "Fair enough. I surrender doctor. Just keep me posted on Mr. Reed's healing process. If you're looking for me, I'll be in my quarters." With that, he left the sickbay. Phlox sighed deeply. Surrender. It was really a pity that Archer was blind to the obvious. Should T'Pol have picked him in decon, Phlox was sure Archer would not have been able to escape her. He had witnessed some rather funny verbal exchanges and looks between the two, including the night Porthos had nearly died. Of course the Captain had been too tired and worried to be at his best, but it had still been an interesting exchange. On the other hand, Reed was the pessimistic type and having T'Pol, his superior officer, hitting on him probably made him freak out. No doubt he had confessed to Tucker as the Commander hadn't stopped smiling since that day. Phlox couldn't wait until Mayweather's birthday party tonight. Time for all things to solve themselves, he thought, pulling the blind around Reed's bed. It should not be long before it was time for T'Pol to return to sickbay for her last hormonal shot. Tonight everything would eventually fall into place. * "There is a small amount of alcohol in wine," T'Pol said in a neutral voice. But to Phlox's trained ear, there was a tenuous tendency to go higher that her usual tone. "I shall be happy to give you a full Vulcan physiology class, Captain," he said stepping closer to them and looking at Archer right in the eyes with his disturbing smile. He was wearing a beige embroidered tunic, and a river of shiny pearls running all over his swelled stomach were making him look even more exotic. Archer suddenly turned red and hid an embarrassed smile behind his hand. Good, he thought, the Captain already had a good taste of that punch I can smell from here. And T'Pol's pheromones are on the verge of bursting off, - again. Hoshi put him aside and made her way to the Sub Commander. She whispered in her ear and they left, without a look in their direction. "Here comes the cake, Captain!" the doctor exclaimed, urging Archer to come closer. Most of the crew was now packed around Mayweather. Someone started to sing 'Happy birthday' and Archer's voice rapidly covered all the others. Cheers and applauses accompanied Travis through his ordeal and, in the end, everyone was seated again, with one spoon in one hand and a plate in the other. "You should try this, Sub Commander," Phlox pushed, "one of the thing I appreciate most in being on a human ship is the variety of dishes and the complexity of their cuisine." "I am not sure I agree," T'Pol said dryly, eyes locked on the cake she was holding before her. Her eyebrow was arched to the maximum and her breathing deep and forced. "On Vulcan, we do not celebrate birthdays," she swallowed the bite she had in her mouth and her gaze when through Phlox wandering wildly in the mess hall. "Are you feeling all right Sub Commander?" Phlox reluctantly placed his plate on a table and came closer to her. "Is it the side effects of the shot I gave you this afternoon?" he said, lowering his voice to a mere whisper. "I should get back to my quarters," she hissed. "I am not well. Please inform the Captain that I shall return to duty soon." She pushed him aside, leaving quickly. * He knew she was acting strangely, even for a Vulcan female in her condition. He should have anticipated her move… or at least prevented it. He had fun at the party instead, being the last one to leave with the very last crewman. Tasting everything twice, dancing with Hoshi and Cutler and the little redhead from maintenance. He even asked Commander Tucker for a dance, but he should have known that two men dancing together was not yet a human tradition. The Captain, having left the party earlier on, had been back on the bridge with the second shift. Everything was going swell and smooth until the communicating device in sickbay came alive at about 04:50. "Phlox here," he said, catching the chameleon that was making his way to the tribble cage and already hiding, melding his skin to the bright colors. "Stay there, you punk! Not you Ensign… what can I do for you at this time of night?" "Doctor, you should probably help us here on the bridge." "Could you elaborate, please?" Strange noises coming from the com covered the ensign's voice. "This is the Sub-commander, Doctor Phlox. I don't know what to do," she pleaded. When he heard T'Pol's voice, Phlox shoved the chameleon into its bed and hurried to the bridge at full speed. He'd known this could happen and he'd chosen to let it go. That was his fault. Never the Captain or the Sub-commander would forgive him. Fortunately, he still had some opportunities to explore with the Medical Exchange Program. * tbc in A Night At The Movies |
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