Xeen's Cormer :: For Crying out Loud

A MAGIC ACT
© Xeen - January 2002

Rating: PG 13 (mostly on account of language)
Pairing: Sam and Jack
Season: up to 5
Spoilers: Shades of Grey, Divide & Conquer, Window of Opportunity
Disclaimers: Stargate SG1 and the characters of the show are not mine. They are the property
of MGM, Gekko Prod., Showtime, Double Secret Productions etc...
Note: this is a response to a Valentine's Day Challenge thrown by Alli Snow (is this a particularly difficult day for Sam and/or Jack to get through? To be seasonal, include a bouquet of flowers and a stuffed animal)

*

Colonel Jack O'Neill rushed into Daniel's office.
Daniel looked up at him from his computer desk and sighed. "Won't you ever learn to knock, Jack?" he exclaimed with a stern look on his face.
Jack stepped back and knocked. "Happy?"
"Not now, before stepping in!"
"For crying out loud! You really think that it is the right time for those little ethical lessons of yours? It's getting old Daniel!" Jack protested.
Daniel frowned and pushed back his glasses up his nose. He sighed again. "So?" he said.
"So what?"
"I must consider that you came here to ask me something or at least to tell me about something," the archaeologist proposed. "What is it? What's the big rush?"
"Well, it's hard to explain," Jack said, falling on the next chair.
"Try me."
"I have no other choice." Jack winced and let his arms rest on his thighs. He put his head in his hands and mumbled between his fingers.
"You're not assuming that I can hear you, are you?"
"Sorry. I don't know where to start."
"Take your time. It's not as if I have anything to do Jack."
"Don't go there Daniel or I will lose the point."
"Oh… you will?" Daniel said jokingly. "I was going to have some coffee. Would you like some?"
"No thanks. Do you know if Teal'c is around?" Jack asked. "I was kinda looking for him in the first place," he said flatly and started playing with a stapler.
"I'm your second choice then? I bet that makes Sam the third? Am I right?" Daniel answered taking the stapler abruptly from him.
"Nope, smart ass. All the fuss is precisely about Carter." O'Neill stood up and began pacing, hands shoved in his pockets. "It's Tuesday already!" he hissed.
"I see. It explains it all."
"Daniel!"
"Sorry. Go ahead."
"Well it is Tuesday, February 12…"
"Could you be more specific Jack? Unless that's all you're getting at…"
"Can't you see it is Valentine's Day next Thursday? I have no idea how to ask Carter out or even if I may send her a bouquet. There must be a way though," he sighed for himself.
"What's the big deal Jack? Of course you may! Just make sure the bouquet is delivered to her place! Unless you want a poor guy to spend his entire day inside Cheyenne Mountain Complex trying to explain he must deliver it to major Samantha Carter at the deep radar telemetry program. In your military world, without the right security clearance, it is mission impossible."
"You know, we won't be off world next Tuesday… and I was sorta hoping that you guys could give me a hand there."
"Us? Huh… OK… Shoot Jack."
"Remember when you drew straws to pick up who will go and see me home when I resigned on account of that Tollan-Nox-Asgard black ops thing, way back?"
"Yes. I recall. But I fail to see any connection with Valentine's Day…"
"There is not!" a very frustrated Jack exclaimed. "Apart from the straw part."
"You're crystal clear today Jack," was Daniel comment. He sat back on his chair, his cup steaming on his glasses. He took a sip and frowned.
"That's why I was looking for Teal'c," explained Jack after a pause.
"Of course, it explains it all." Daniel's right hand was waving in exasperation.
"Are you making fun of me Daniel?"
"No, Jack! Of course not! You know me…" he said with a wince.
Jack stared. He shoved his hands in his pockets. "You know that Teal'c practised for the most part of last year to put together a magic act for last Christmas party?"
"Everybody at the SGC knows that Jack," Daniel sighed. "Teal'c has been raising rabbits in his quarters for almost two years now."
"OK. So," Jack slowed his pace, "do you think he could perform that straw act for me?"
"The straw act? Sorry Jack, but you're not making any sense… again."
"Like he did when you got the shortest straw and had to visit me at my place," Jack stated.
"Oh… you're sure he cheated?"
"Not a hundred percent. But yes, I'm pretty confident he did."
Daniel blushed and sat his cup on his desk. "Oh!…You, errr… you're probably right. I should have… huh… known better," he whispered. "Well, why don't you ask him anyway?" he said matter-of-factly.
"Because I can't find him!! I told you that part already," Jack said, "the part where I cannot find Teal'c… my first choice Teal'c?" he said waving his arms frantically. "And I'm leaving and I won't be here tomorrow. I have this meeting in Washington."
"You'll ask him on Thursday then," Daniel concluded.
"Thursday's too late…" Jack sighed. "Let me explain," he said.

*

"As you were!" major general Hammond snapped entering the briefing room.
Teal'c bowed, Daniel set his files and folders aside and a troubled major Carter straightened. Hammond sat heavily.
"Anyone may tell me what keeps Colonel O'Neill from attending this meeting?" he said bluntly. He crossed his fingers and stared at Sam. "Has he been back from Washington? Major Carter?"
"I wouldn't say, sir. I haven't seen Colonel O'Neill since Monday."
"Well SG1, I postpone this briefing until you get your hands on the colonel," the general said. "I bet he's still in DC," he whispered for himself. "Let me know ASAP," he added standing up.
"I will call him right away sir!" said Sam. She looked concerned. She winced to Daniel and he winced back.
"I don't know," he silently mouthed.
Teal'c raised an eyebrow and nodded negatively. "We should attempt to reach O'Neill on the phone. He is most likely still in Washington DC."
"Would you do that for me Teal'c?" Sam asked. "I have my hands full and I could use some extra time."
"I will, major Carter," Teal'c answered. He was slightly smiling.

*

Why did she ask Teal'c to make that call? Why did they use that straw thing to pick up who will check on O'Neill's house? She knew that Teal'c would cheat again… eventually.
After all, she was the one who had asked him to cheat in the first place.
Only fair, she thought, pulling over in O'Neill's driveway. No truck. He was definitely in DC she cursed, and she was losing her time. She left her helmet on the motorcycle and took a sneak peak at the backyard.
Brr… Pretty cold today.
Cautiously, she walked on frozen snow to the front door and stopped under the porch. Her eyes fell down to a two dozen red rose bouquet. On top of it, there was a pink envelope, with a hand written mention.
For Major Samantha Carter
"What the…" she bent down and took it. She looked around and put her finger on the doorbell while trying to get the card out of the envelope with her teeth. As she expected, no one came to the door. She glanced inside, her hand over her eyes to protect the window from the blinding reflection of the snow.
She finally managed to take the card out and read.

Would you meet me at the Manitou Cliff Dwellings for a late breakfast or an early lunch?
I'll be waiting for you.
Jack

THAT was the cherry on the cake!
How dare he?!
Snapping his fingers right at her. He must have been really confident she would come to his place to begin with. He probably settled things down with Teal'c and Daniel before leaving for DC. Hammond? Nope, no way, not a chance.
"Ego centred son of a…" she cursed between her lips.
She glanced at her watch.
Almost 10:00.
Hell! She had already lost half her morning tracking O'Neill, she could use the time left until noon to get his record straight once and for all. It was perfectly understood that the zatarc incident was to be kept in that test room.
Janet was so right. She had told her only yesterday that he would take advantage of Valentine's Day to give another try.
He doesn't respect our arrangement, she thought, kneeling down by the door. She took out a Swiss army knife from her pocket and severed one rose from the bouquet. She buried briefly her nose in the flower then headed back to her motorcycle. She shuddered, shoved the rose inside her pocket and proceeded to get to the Dwellings by Highway 24.

*

By the time she got there, the sandrocks were sparkling under the winter sun. Ochers, bright and yellow. She was caught in the magic of Anasasi architecture and in the stunning scenery.
That was before she spotted O'Neill's truck. Instantly she was overwhelmed by a flow of anger.
"Carter," he waved at her with a bright smile on his face, "that's about time! What took you so long for crying out loud! I'm starving," he winced.
For a split second, she was startled, but she regained her composure and walked straight to him, outraged.
"Would you mind if we take a stroll first… Sir?" she said dryly.
"I'm fine, thank you Carter," his attempt at humour was lost on her. "You sure? I was voting for a cappuccino myself," Jack started jokingly under her glacial glare, "but a stroll will be nice," he added hastily when he noticed the flash of anger in her eyes.
He retrieved a brown bag from the chair next to him and followed her to the looking tower. She rapidly combed her hair back with her hand and stared at him, infuriated.
"How dare you?" she snapped. "Is this your idea of a joke? Or am I supposed to leave everything to have a cup of coffee with you in the middle of nowhere?" she quipped, her voice dangerously high pitched.
"Well..."
"Why should I do that sir? Is there any kind of emergency? Are you in any current danger? Or is it simply in order to fulfil your romantic desire of having a semblance of relationship going on for Valentine's Day?" she shouted at him.
"Wow, wow, wow, Carter. Calm down. I take it that you're still mad at me 'cause I kissed you in that time loop," he said, his voice low, looking around to make sure that none of the few tourists were interested in his fight with that pretty woman in fatigues. "But you didn't seem to find it that bad at the time," he said stepping away from Sam.
Somehow, she seemed to marvel at her shoes. She finally took a deep breath, her right foot playing back and forth in the sand. "Let us say you never said that, Sir," she hissed. "I assumed that we had an agreement but you always seem to infringe it, don't you?"
"Look Carter, I'm sorry. I only wanted to have a special moment with you outside the base. I guess I was wrong. I have no right to ask you anything or to offer you anything," he added. "Here's for you anyway," he said handing her the brown bag. He shrugged. "I got it for you in Washington, go ahead, it won't bite."
"I can't sir," she said stubbornly, avoiding his gaze.
"Carter! Would you please stop it! Aren't we friends at least? Life is too short for that kind of stuff. I want to feel the sun on my face and the wind in my hair. I want to watch a child and be happy. I want to fall in love again. I want to have that perfect morning break with my friend, would you mind?" he said raising his voice.
They were almost up the tower. She turned around to conceal a grin. That man knew exactly what to do to make her fall head over heels, she thought. She looked away in the distance. What a peaceful morning. He was right. She was her friend.
"OK," she smiled at him. "I give up."
She took the bag from him.
"Don't I get a kiss?" Jack asked.
"Don't push your luck!" she smiled again.
He smiled back and shoved his hands deep inside his pockets. She opened the bag and saw a stuffed toy inside.
"What is it? A cat?"
"Nope. Better."
She took the toy out and faced a perfect replica of Thor. Only softer. She hugged the toy and gave Jack one of her bright smiles.
"Don't I get a kiss now?" Jack said.
She waved the toy at him.
"OK, OK, just kidding! What if we put your motorcycle in my truck and go to your place for coffee instead?"
"I… I would…" she faltered.
"Or my place?" he pushed. "It won't be the first time that you sleep over. We could rent 'A Love Affair'. I'm sure that you would cry as much as when we watched 'It's A Beautiful Life' together at Christmas for the umpteenth time."
"But sir, it's not even lunch time!" she exclaimed.
"I mean you could sleep over. In the meantime, we could do everything I want… you want," he shrugged with an evil grin. "I'll manage to arrange things with Hammond for today. It's not like we're having any off world trek scheduled. The day is young and you need a leave from the base anyway. And I am your CO… you're not discussing a direct order Carter!?" he winced. "Well, what do you think?"
"I was planning to study the decay of naq…" Sam said, weakening.
"On Valentine's Day? No way if I have anything to do about it!"
"Still fancy a stroll sir?"
"Only for a kiss then. You see my back is aching and my knee is not…" he stopped, his mouth captive under hers. She threw her arms around his neck and Thor bounced against his shoulder. He kissed her back gladly oblivious of their rank and agreement.
"Stop acting like a teenager, Jack," she whispered in his ear, "if you still want me to be your Valentine."

THE END