| Call Me Daddy
© Xeen PART 11 Lynley had doubted his eyes for the last hundred yards. Havers was running away from the cottage and he could spot Buchanan running behind her at a distance. He pressed his horse with a firm hand to meet them half way and watched her fall hard at full speed down to the bridle path a mere twenty feet away from his horse. She yelled from the sudden pain then stopped moving. He thrust off the horse who kept on trotting before slowing down to a gentle walk to rush to her side. Quickly kneeling down, he leaned to her. Her breathing was ragged and rasped but at least she was breathing. He took her in his arms and checked her rapidly for injuries through her clothes. She was scratched and smudged with mud but apart from extensive bruises, she seemed all right. While pulling her skirt onto her legs, he inadvertently placed his gloved hand on her bare stomach. In a haze, he noticed she was wearing the most awful orange blouse, far worse looking than everything he’d seen her wearing in the past. It was rolled up and crumpled under her arms and her sweater was all twisted. He knew he intended to put her clothes right to cover her. And then he was kissing her hands, her neck, pushing away strayed locks of red hair, caressing her face. He kissed her lightly on the lips and the corner of his mouth twisted in contentment and shock. Electrified, she wriggled to get free of his embrace, cursing him between her teeth. He barely heard her, holding on to her no matter what. It was… well, it was far better than anything he had experimented with anyone since Helen’s death, he thought, revelation sinking in. Whatever he called it, it was something he was not prepared to feel for his colleague. How could it be? It was only Havers for heaven’s sake! Nonetheless, he could not believe she was not only safe but in his arms and that it felt so good. She apparently could not believe it either, though her reasons were possibly different from his own because she violently pushed him away, calling him names. That was unexpected. -o- Tea at the Penhaligons was pure torture. Squeezed between Morrow and Morveren he could not keep his eyes away from Havers going to tatters as if her newly found world was crashing all around her. The physician seemed like a kind fellow but his attitude was completely unethical. Lynley was surprised to hear no strong protest coming from Havers. The Barbara he knew would never have let him say that much without giving him the proper treatment. “Thank you Dr Morrow,” he said, stopping him in the middle of a sentence that involved rape kit and molesting. “I am sure you are willing to visit Ms Havers in Howenstow during her stay at the mansion.” The doctor blushed violently and said a few words in a low tone. Buchanan was evidently enjoying himself a lot though he was obviously worried about Havers. Lynley turned to her and she did not avert his gaze. She gave him an apologetic smile instead and silently mouthed a thank you. Kissing her had been inappropriate but mostly unforeseen. Then, she had gone almost instantly from an over-energetic persona to an emotionally distressed character. If only he could remember their conversation. Maybe something he had done? No, he pondered, she was angry with him as she had every reason to be and during their weird encounter, she was very much alive and kicking. Now, she was prostrate and miserable, the pathetic image of despair. She had seemed completely drained the minute Buchanan finally reached them. “Would you care for another biscuit?” asked Morveren. If only he could have her back in his arms again, he knew everything would fall back into place. But it was impossible as long as her memory was a blank, he would only take advantage of their friendship. He needed time as much as she. Her memory loss will give him all the time necessary. “No, thank you, they are delicious but I’m full.” Go slow and give her all the space she’s entitled to, he thought, that’s your best move. He engaged his hosts in a casual conversation about horse, milk and Cornwall with his usual aplomb, never letting her escape his scrutiny until it was time to go. -o- Now, he was eager to go back to Howenstow. Penhaligon’s testimony had been taken care of and nothing new had come out of it. On the other hand, it was not a total loss to Morris and his entire workforce. They had gathered hundreds of stories to tell for the years to come. Photographs had been taken. The eighth Earl of Asherton had given them all possible leeway by horseback riding to the police station in order to investigate the kidnapping of his lady friend. Nonetheless, Lynley could not stop grinning like a lunatic. It had been a terrible three day wait. He knew he had nothing to do with her being found but he was relieved and happy all the same. He was confident that Terndell had done her no harm. That young doctor, Vic Morrow, was positive that she was safe and sound and as far as he was concerned, he did not need to hear more. All he wanted right now was to ride back home and enjoy a brandy in the company of his friends. He galloped back to the mansion and charged inside the stables. After going through a summary grooming, he made sure the animal was left with plenty of hay and water and hurried back inside to find Havers. He heard their voices from the hall and practically ran to the kitchen only to a scene he had not anticipated. From the doorway, she seemed so comfortable with Buchanan holding her hand that he had to fight a flush of jealousy. She was wearing a sweater and some slacks in matching shades of black and for the first time in years, he really saw her as she was most of the time, beautiful. Her hair was disciplined in a very girlie way and she was smiling. Nonetheless, he could not accept that having been away for only three hours they should be back already to their cool and easy banter. Pulling himself together, he barged inside with no warning, satisfied to make her jump. She gaped blankly at him. Rewarded by her immediate awkwardness and loathing himself all the same for being so obnoxious, he felt driven to embarrass her further. “Any of those left?” he said with a nod to their empty drinks. Adopting a posture alien to his usual composure, he deliberately slumped on a chair between them and grabbed a beer. “I can really use a few. It’s been quite a day.” She suddenly looked tired and frail, on the verge of collapsing; it was eerie and so unlike her. His heart was bleeding just by the sight of her, but he could not stop himself, his anger dangerously building up. “Are you feeling any better Havers?” he said briskly, “You bring her up to speed Buchanan? Anything coming back yet?” he added, all bossy. Jack gave him a disapproving look. He tried to backpedal and gave her one of his best smile but harm had been done. She had entered deep into self-deprecating mode. “Err… no sir, nothing, sorry.” Here she was. Apologizing of having been kidnapped. What a jerk he was to behave like this on account of her American friend. “Don’t be sorry Havers, you’ve evidently been through a lot lately.” The thought of stroking her cheek and hugging her crossed his mind and he turned to Buchanan to push away images of very graphic consequences. “Not that Penhaligon was of any help unfortunately,” he added in disbelief. “He knew nothing?” asked Jack evenly, his brow furrowed, clearly ready to confront him. “Apart from almost running her over?” said Lynley with a shrug. “No. Never heard of Terndell either, I’m afraid. That’s another dead end. I managed to sneak some forensic reports out of the station for you though.” That was not enough to cheer up the American. “Morris won’t mind.” He raised his glass and winked. He glanced back at Havers but she was no longer listening. Her eyes seemed glassy and he would have bet her hands had turned ice cold. Uneasily, he added in a softer voice. “But I’m pretty certain Havers’ was a random kidnapping. You told her about the barn?” “Yes, I did,” Jack nodded, “she doesn’t remember the barn, or the car or coming to see your mother.” “I see. You don’t you remember coming over to Howenstow to meet with my mother?” he asked her directly. “She told me on the phone she made cucumber sandwiches.” Posh culinary mannerism used to make her laugh. She gave him an uncertain look. “I was coming to the mansion? Why? Do I know your mother… Sir?” “Yes, you’ve been here before Havers, don’t worry, it will come back eventually. I’ll show you some photographs you intended to give to her. Maybe it will ring a bell.” He paused, uncertain of what to say next. Jack did not volunteer to help him out. He could tell from his judgmental look that he was in for a well deserved lecture when Havers was going to be asleep. “There’s absolutely nothing that can relate Terndell and his endeavours to you or to your past investigation in Cornwall.” She glanced briefly, her head down, eyes on her lap. “By the way, that qualifies for another success Havers, I understand that congratulations are in order!” he added, his artificial attempt at cheering her up unsuccessful. “When you are back to duty, I will personally recommend you for a promotion.” “I’m not sure I qualify for a promotion, sir,” she snapped. “Give me some credits here, Havers,” Lynley said icily. Oh god. How did she manage to get him so quickly on edge? “You hardly remember your name right now.” He fell silent, unable to get his emotions back in check. There was only one thing left to do. If it was not too late. “Excuse me Barbara, that was rude, I’m sorry,” he trailed. Buchanan did not seem convinced. She did not make a move. He resisted again the urge to console her. “When you feel better, I would like to see you both in the reading room, please. I reckon we have some introspection to do.” Could he be any more distant? Cursing his bad temper, he stood up and left. Buchanan was trying to cheer her up already. Havers was softly sobbing. He clenched his fist and hit the wall. Hard. What a fool… -o- The first days were the worse. Howenstow was strangely quiet, with her mother gone and practically all of her personnel on vacation. Havers being the sole woman in his beloved house was something he had never envisioned. After his unspeakable attitude on the day they found her, he made a point at avoiding her by all means possible. It was easy. She still had problems finding her way in the house while he could have sketched it with his eyes closed. Since he could not skip all meals, the three of them casually met for breakfast. Buchanan was a morning person and his good mood and happy demeanour was rubbing off on her. On the contrary, after yet another sleepless night, Lynley usually felt grumpy, old fashioned and worse of all completely unattractive. And possibly he was, being so self absorbed in giving her all the space that she and Jack could need. Denton was providing stacks of sandwiches and baskets of cheese and fresh fruits around noon. He rapidly found it convenient to stay in his study to attend to family matters or to have endless phone calls with Lafferty or Webberley, burying himself in paperwork. The alternative was to spend most afternoons on his horse, in a word staying away from her as much as he could. His protests and excuses of never been able to join them for dinner sounded shallow and childish even to his ears but he had to. Last week when he thought she will never be back it was frightening enough but nothing compared to the fear she might reject him now that he had held her, kissed her and that he knew what he might lose. He kept being amazed at his new feelings. He was not ready to lose her as a friend either, for he had come to realise that she was above all his best friend. He would not rush her into a relation she did not want at the risk of alienating her for ever. He had to give her time to move on with her life before doing anything drastic. Every afternoon, Morrow would visit her. Every other day he will first check on Applegate’s new born at the gate house and then Havers. Lynley would wait in the reading room and see him to the door as soon as the doctor had delivered his report, the same every day so far. She was doing ok, though her recovery had proven to be slower than anticipated. He watched Morrow’s car take the driveway. He was appreciative of fine cars and his 1966 Lotus Elan coupé was a real beauty. Listening to the Ford 4-cylinder engine, he spotted Applegate who was coming back from his house. His son had been born the day they had found Barbara and with his wife just being back from the hospital, the young couple was having a hard time managing their work on the estate. Lynley was up for a ride and they headed to the stables together. Riding when autumn was going all chilly in yellows and oranges was high on the list of his personal top ten moments. They were almost to the barn when they heard voices above the soft neigh of the two horses. Buchanan’s silhouette against the light was soon followed by another, smaller, who soon was running to the back entrance. Together, they continued towards the woods. I bet the twosome is going to hang out at the river, Lynley thought with a bitter sting. He saddled his horse without Applegate’s help and took him outside by the reins. They left, ambling flat out far away from the river. It took him a good ten miles of roaming through the hills to cool off. He had arranged for Buchanan to extend his leave in Cornwall and even managed to turn it into a work arrangement. There was nothing much he could do to extend his stay in Howenstow. If they were all to return to London he knew he will find a way to talk to Havers eventually. After all, they had been partners during all these years he could wait a few weeks to make his feelings known. Or not. In any case, he would have to explain his attitude eventually and to prove to her it was not infatuation but something more. He was not sure he wanted to compete with Jack if he was the man she was in love with. He suspected she had had some affairs in the past but nothing really serious. She had always been very discreet about her love life and he respected that. Somehow, he wished he knew more about her though. Was it possible that she harboured more tender feelings for him behind her friendly admiration? She never demonstrated anything more, he pondered. He cut back through the woods and stopped at the ridge of a hill. He caught them slowly going back to the house holding hands and casually kissing. He watched long after they were gone. -o- Against his better judgement, Lynley let Buchanan leave the next day. Denton gave him a lift to the airport and Havers didn’t even bother to accompany him. She kissed him good bye on the porch and went immediately back inside. They barely spoke for the rest of the day and Havers had dinner in her room. The next morning, they accidentally met in the gardens. She had found out that Lynley’s ancestors had been enthralled into embellishing the surrounding landscape with classical features. She was apparently marveling at the breathtaking vista from the small Palladian temple. He stopped his horse and ventured behind her. He came closer, unable to speak. “Have you ever seen anything more romantic, Tommy” she said, facing the endless slopes and the silvery reflexion of the river below. The tinted foliage of the trees in autumn sunshine seemed to add to the serenity of the place. She put her hand above her eyes to watch a flock of wild geese going south and smiled to herself. “You knew it was I?” he said biting his tongue at his own stupidity. He was turning into a perfect imbecile. “I like to think that I have some powers of deduction,” she said with a big grin. She turned to him and patted the ground. “Come sit with me, enjoy the view. You’re always locked inside that study of yours or wandering away on that huge horse. People are going to talk,” she winked. He sat down, uncertain of what to do next. She clearly was in a very good mood for her first day without Jack. “Are you trying to avoid me?” “No, of course not! Why would I?” he protested with too much force. “Dunno, ye tell me,” she trailed. “It’s not like I can remember much, can I?” He had no idea where it was heading to but she was on a mission. “Aren’t you going to say anything?” she insisted. “What do you want me to say,” he stalled. He witnessed her good mood vanish in an instant, her eyes flashing with impatience. “Cut me some slack Tommy. I’m momentarily memory impaired but I can still do the math. You made it possible for Jack to stay in Cornwall twice as much as he was actually permitted to, you’re never around and when you are you barely talk to me. It makes a girl think! Just so you know I have no immediate plan of living happy ever after with Jack or anyone else. So please, stop, would you?” Under the weird impression his heart was going to leap out of his chest, he resumed breathing and felt better. “You know that all the photographs or the ridiculous souvenirs you have been waving in front of me haven’t done me any good. Jack tried that too, the NY Police Museum, the strolling in Central Park, the late pizzas in Little Italy, the whole ten yards. Let me tell you, it hasn’t exactly been a walk in the park.” He winced at her choice of words. “Stop talking cucumber sandwiches, Eaton Terrace and Scotland Yard will you and let’s cut to the chase. Why did you kiss me? Are we an item? I mean, I get to wonder.” He had to give her some credit she was not beating about the bush. “Just tell me. There is no point in avoiding this talk for ever.” For heaven’s sake, she thinks we were having a secret affair and that I’m trying to get away with it painlessly now that she cannot remember and she wants me to come clean. “You’re mistaken,” he said forcefully. “I’d never do anything of the sort. You must remember that much.” She nodded and watched him intently. “Mistaken? How?” “We never were an item Barbara. I am… I was a married man.” “Helen,” she whispered, looking away. “Yes, I know. So what? It wouldn’t be the first time that a young aristocrat finds comfort in the lower class.” His head sank to his chest. Here it was; she was doing it all over again. That will never end, he sighed. He turned to her and took her hands in his. “For starters, I’m not that young,” he said with a grin. “You know that I was your partner,” he continued in a more serious tone. “Being a female in a traditional male line of work is hard, you’ve seen it here in Cornwall, first hand. I have no doubt that some of our male colleagues were assuming that you were intimate with someone at the Met. I can assure you that the rumour about who you were involved with never came anywhere near my name.” Her eyes locked on his. She was putting him to the test. Apparently he passed because she relaxed and did not try to escape his hands. “You know that I have lost people close to me. And I cannot even begin to imagine how hard it is for you not to remember your previous life and to lose everything dear to your heart. But I’m here for you, Barbara. Please trust me.” “Right. So why did you kiss me?” -o- With Denton’s help Lynley was putting the finishing touches to their last evening together at the mansion. This fortnight has gone by in a flash after he was successful at keeping her mother away in Brighton. She obviously knew he was up to something but he had kept his plan a secret. Barbara was no longer the lively pest she used to be and he sometimes missed her and her sharp take at humour. She had oddly turned into a centred lovely woman prone to reverie and meditation. They spent endless hours discussing arts and the meaning of life and actually discovered they had a lot more in common than meet the eyes. They drove to the seaside and visited cathedrals and lighthouses. He discovered that she was an Internet addict and that she could ring Winston and Jack several times a day each day and actually talk for hours on the phone. Of one accord, they had agreed not to push their relationship further for the time being and to experiment their new friendship first. She was remembering things and moments but nothing really, compared to what she had lost. At one point, she had wanted to go back to her flat to take a grip at her life -without him. For Lynley it only meant she was going back to Jack, unless he could persuade the American to share his loft once he was back to London. He could not believe he had not even thought of this arrangement to begin with. His place was a lot closer to the Met than Havers’ and far larger. And it was not Havers’ which was the point obviously. Tonight will be their last night alone in Howenstow and he wanted it to be perfect and unique. He should have known better. TBC Part 12 Please i would love to know what you think ;) |
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