| Call Me Daddy
© Xeen PART 16 She could not sleep afraid that she wakes up and he’d be gone or worse to find out it has only been a dream. Just about every part of her body had been kissed or probed or caressed. Her skin was still tingling with desire though her initial arousal was wearing off. She grinned and thought she should go and check in a mirror if she still looked the same. She did not feel the same at all -- it was a fact. She was not the virgin queen and never pretended to be if asked. Nobody ever cared to ask. She had had her lot of bad experiences in the past, enough to stop fooling around. It started the year she took her SGSE exams and signed up for a photography class to impress Trevor. Man, was she young. The boy was a real jerk and had been circulating intimate photos of her amongst his pals for a fee. Then she joined the force and after a few evenings of whooping it up with the boys and ending in every other different bed, she decided against it. Not that she was against casual promiscuity with colleagues but she discovered that besides the easy and expected immediate feel good result, sleeping around was not her cup of tea. Before she knew it, her parents’ health went down the hill and she withdrew from social or emotional involvement. After a while, nurturing her bad temper into a well-oiled defence mechanism, she had protected herself behind a thick shield and was catalogued in no time as the worst person to be seen along with. Of course she had some random comfort sex with strangers at weddings and funerals but working with Lynley made that part of her love life impossible to take up. Hence the dating agency cover up disaster. She blinked back to the semi darkness of her bedroom, contemplating the past years at being her colleague and her friend. The hatred she initially felt for him had soon turned into uncompromising love and on a professional level she rapidly found comfort into working with someone easy on the eye who was not only the top notch but her perfect counterpart. He had been everything to her for all these years and had just become much more. Was it even possible? She bit her lips in a foolish attempt to stifle a silent bellow. Her heart was so filled with love and happiness that she could hardly breathe. She could have cried and laugh at the same time, run all over the place and trampoline on the bed like a child. The object of her affection was sleeping like a baby, snuggled against her under the duvet with his arm resting on her waist, his head nested in the hollow of her shoulder. Tomorrow – well today actually, she will have time to think about what was in store for her. When you sleep with your boss and your best friend, you’ve got to expect consequences, it comes with the territory. All she wanted now was to curl up in his arms and forget about the future when they both have to pretend it never happened. But neither her bladder nor her stomach seemed to agree with her wishes. At the moment, she was confronted with the dilemma of having to leave him or starve to death. She managed to extricate her leg from under his and slowly rolled away to free herself from his body without awakening him. He mumbled something in his sleep and clutched her pillow greedily. She stood up and stumbled upon clothes and everything they had managed to drop on the floor during their experimental love making. She discovered a path across the cluttered floor and rushed to the bathroom. She felt tempted by a long hot shower but then she would wash away their combined scents and she was not sure she wanted that so soon. She retrieved her Indian takeaway from the fridge and thrust it inside the microwave oven then pondered about the need of eating a hot meal. Her flat was small and the smallest noise will jeopardize her solitude. Having Lynley barging in on her while she was eating out of the box in the nude on a bleak London morning was not a thought she cherished. On the other hand to have a cold snack was a worse idea if possible. She still felt a bit sick and hangovered, thanks to her heavy drinking the evening before -- which was the only way of dealing with a crisis she seemed to master so far. She was lost in her thoughts when two warm hands hugged her from behind and a chin with a stubble found his way to her neck. “Cheating on me already and with a microwave no less?” “It’s only chicken tikka, it’s not a real threat sir, unless you want to actually eat it.” “Hungry?” “Famished, I haven’t had the chance to eat anything yesterday evening and…” “… you should have told me. I missed dinner too. We should have eaten out. I know a lovely place not far from here.” “And miss dessert?” He chuckled. “You’re right.” “Am I not often?” He kissed her hair and ear and snuggled against her. Suddenly she was not hungry any more, or maybe she was but it had nothing to do with chicken or chocolate. Despite nothing had changed in their easy flirting banter here they were, standing naked in her kitchen. Lynley was kissing and caressing her and nothing had ever felt so right in her life. And he did not seem to mind… “What have we got?” he asked totally oblivious of the unusual situation. She opened the takeaway box and he took a look inside. “Are you sure there’s any chicken in there? I don’t mean to be rude but you really expect me to eat this?” “I’m the one who bought it and I’m not even sure I want to try,” she said with a shrug, “but that’s about everything I’ve got, that and a pack of Twix.” “Toast?” “Maybe, let me check.” She opened the cupboard and shook her head. “Jack probably ate the last of it.” “Coffee?” “Nope. Tea? Ordinary bags, you know the ones you buy by the tons with only dust and artificial flavour guaranteed inside. I’m sorry, I was not expecting anybody. Jack was on a date and it was kind of my girls’ night out -- only at home and alone.” “And of all nights, I chose to impose myself on you.” “Would you mind imposing on me again?” “You will have to blame it on chicken then,” he grinned, his hands already restless. He cupped her breast and nibbled at her mouth. “Mmmmm… you taste better that chicken.” She pushed him against the counter and kissed him hard. If he was surprised, he did his best to match her pace. He knew he had been attracted to her for a long time but kissing her was even more sensuous and gratifying than he had imagined and it brought attraction to a new level. After her tongue had explored every inch of his lips, it barged fiercely inside his mouth, fighting against his tongue sucking and licking avidly. Her large green eyes kept staring at him and he felt as clumsy and gawky as a teenager on a first date and he responded with ardour. Her hips pressed against his, she pushed him away from the kitchen; he finally lost his balance and fell on the sofa with a thump, panting heavily. She sat on top of him a challenging look on her face and kissed him again, gently this time. She slumped on him and put her arms around his neck then ran a hand in his thick hair. “Enough with the cliché,” she smiled, “I will need to buy some food,” she whispered in his ear, “want to come with?” “Yes,” he breathed in her ear, “later.” -o- It was a clear morning which should probably turn into a bright sunny day. Lynley was calmly strolling in the cereals and coffee aisle while Havers was in charge of finding bread, butter, marmalade and fresh fruits. He grabbed a box of eggs and a bottle of mineral water and sat his findings in front of the cashier. “Nice outfit my Lord. Ain’t it a bit late already for a vampire to be wandering outside in the street? You know with the deadly daylight thingie and everything?” she mocked him. She was no more than 17, looking already bored at 7:30, and sporting a gothic make up, her ice blue eyes smeared with black pencil, her skin white and her lips a deep blood red. “I’m trying a new substitution diet,” he said. She flashed him a big smile. “Neat.” “Hello Sandy, I see you met my b… my friend already,” cheered Barbara, “how are you this morning?” She bit her lower lip. She almost let slip the forbidden ‘boyfriend’ word out and was glad Lynley did not notice. He probably thought I was going to say he was ‘my boss’. It felt so natural though. My boyfriend… As if it will ever happen. Last night is about all you will get. “Never better, I’ll be out of this hole next week.” “Really, I’m sorry to hear that, you’ll be missed.” “Ya bet. That’s 11.47£ for you Barbara.” Lynley was quicker at producing the money and she rolled her eyes mouthing a ‘I’ll pay you back later’. “You plan to stick round?” “Na. Russ’s taking me to Manchester. He’s in a band now…” “Oh, I see. Well have a nice day Sandy. See you around.” They left the store and Lynley turned to her. “I never imagined you having a supermarket conversation Barbara.” “Hey, I’m a nice person, I shop, I talk to people. And you, if you don’t mind me saying you had it coming sir with your dinner jacket and all. I told you you could have some clothes from Jack’s closet. That’s exactly why I asked of you repeatedly to bring a sleep over bag at my place.” “So that you could take advantage of me? Not a chance!” “Oh stop it!” she grinned. They walked silently for a moment. She was not sure what to do. They’ll have some breakfast, then she’ll make up some urgent business she had to attend to, maybe go to see her mum later in the afternoon. She was looking at her feet and counting steps when she sensed that he was staring. “I’ve know her since she was a baby,” she explained seriously, “I used to babysit her big sister when they were living near my parents’. She’s a nice kid. She’ll be back in a jiffy. That Russ guy is a dickhead.” “You know a lot of people in the neighbourhood I guess…” Small talk, she thought; I can do that. “Been here a while. Don’t freak out sir, we’re not going to go all ‘shaun of the dead’ on you.” He smiled imagining Havers and her zombie neighbours besieging the Met. “I’m coming to get you, Barbara,” he joked. “You’re a Simon Pegg fan really? There’s a lot I don’t know about you, I guess… Well this place is as friendly as any when you’ve been around long enough.” “Let me get your bag. Do we need anything else?” She shook her head. “Ok, let’s go then. Will you let me fix you breakfast?” “You’re welcome sir.” “Barbara, would you stop calling me sir, it’s a bit weird don’t you think, considering…” His eyebrows rocketed and he made a face. “Barbie. I prefer Barbie, if you don’t mind,” she said sheepishly, “my mum used to call me Barbie, I miss it. Just don’t do let it slip at work, people would talk.” “Barbie it is then.” “Thank you… your lordship,” she said with a bow. -o- “That was perfect Tommy; I did not picture you as a cook.” “That’s because I ditch the apron when I’m on the job.” He kissed her and went back to the kitchen for a coffee refill. “Barbie, it’s only toast and eggs I’m afraid.” “It was lovely nevertheless, thank you.” “As a matter of fact I knew you of all people could eat but I’m impressed. What is it? Your third helping?” “Fourth,” she smiled, “but surely you won’t dispute this is entirely your doing sir?” “How do you explain it’s only my second then?” “Are you challenging me Tommy?” She tilted her head with a grin on her face and took the tray back to the counter. “I would if I were 20 again,” he said lightly, “but I’m not getting any younger. As much as I would like to take you at your word, I prefer to wait a little bit more if you don’t mind.” “Aren’t you going to be late then?” “To be late? To be late for what, good heavens?” “Work obviously.” “It’s Saturday,” pretending to be concerned by her mental health. “It did not stop you before as I recall.” “I won’t be going to the Met today. Let’s go to the park or see a movie or the new exhibit at the Tate.” He turned his back to her, put the dishes in the sink and started casually to do the washing up. She was so stunned that did not even begin to protest against it. “There’s Rothko at the Modern and Bacon at the Britain,” he said unaware of her reaction. “We could take the Thames cruise and do both and have a nice lunch somewhere.” Why would he take her to an exhibition? He never offered to take her out before, except when they were on a case. And she had no idea who the hell were Rothko or Bacon; even if their names rang a bell, she would make a fool of herself. “Next time I’ll take you to Saint Ives to their Heimo Zobernig exhibition, I loved it! And don’t get me started on Barbara Hepworth and her work in the gardens. So, what do you think, is it a plan?” And why on earth would he go back to Cornwall with her? This was supposed to be sex, not an affair. With his mother in Howenstow, it would be terribly difficult to hide they were sleeping together. She would never be able to put up with meeting his mother again in such gruesome circumstances, it would be too humiliating for either of them. And Lady Asherton would be so disappointed in him… Of course there was always the possibility of staying in the vicinity; he might find her a room in a nearby hotel. That would be convenient. He was still waiting for her answer and eventually glanced back to her inquisitively. “You… you want me to tag along,” she hesitated. “Of course I do!” he said turning off the tap. “I do have to go back to my apartment first to change unless you want to stay inside but it’s a wonderful day, I’d rather do something.” “It’s just that…” She looked awkward and embarrassed. “Oh, I’m sorry, I’m being rude. Surely you have other plans already, I should have asked.” “I… -- huh, I thought…” she muttered averting his eyes. “I may as well tell you now and get it over with.” He leaned on the counter and simply stood there gawking at her. “I cannot believe… you thought that I was going to sweep last night under the rug, didn’t you?” She shook her head and tried to conceal she was blushing. “Listen I… -- I don’t know what I thought… but surely you understand we can’t do that, don’t you?” “Do what?” “I mean like being an item, sleep together.” “Is it a one time thing for you? Is it what you want Barbara?” he asked in a wide-eyed astonishment. “And that you could take me for granted with no strings attached, friends with benefit?” “I never took you for granted sir, it’s…” “Please, don’t do that. You did hear what I told you yesterday? I love you Barbara. I’m not going anywhere. Not without you that is.” She went pale and he rushed to hug her. “Say you don’t. Say it. Say that you don’t love me.” He buried his face in her dishevelled hair. “Don’t you want at least try to give us a chance?” he whispered. “Because I’m willing to. I won’t give up on you without a fight -- if I have to.” She shrugged and tried to free herself of his hold. “Barbara, please look at me,” he raised her chin with one finger, “won’t you say something, anything… Aren’t you happy? Because you must know that I’m the happiest man on earth this morning.” She looked at him her jaws clenched, her eyes misty with tears and he resisted the urge to kiss her. She nodded against his hand and glanced through her hair. “Yes,” she said softly. “I am. At least I think I am. I don’t know…” During all these years he knew that she cared for him, probably a lot more than she was supposed to and he had been vain enough to be flattered. She encouraged him to commit and be married and yet it must have been difficult for her to be so supportive. And now, when they finally found each other, she was rejecting him. He was on the verge of losing his temper when she gestured him to be quiet. He could spot a hint of anger on her face. She inhaled deeply. “I’ve got news for you Tommy. If you can’t remember, I still can despite my amnesia that you were my boss for six years, and technically you're still my boss. So what do you think? That I busted my ass on this job for nothing? Don't you know what they'll do to me if they ever find out about what happened last night? The minute they learn, I'll be burnt! I don’t intend to lose everything because I hit the sack with you.” He let go of her, puzzled and hurt. That was totally unexpected. “I know how easy it would be to get ideas into my head and I was prepared for a one night stand; after all these years lusting after you, I thought it was a well deserved reward. I spent too much time already warding off false expectations.” He furrowed his brow as revelation sank in. “Bottom line, for the time being, let me be Barbara Havers, on leave for medical reasons, living in a flat with a mortgage attached and sharing it with a New York copper to make ends meet. I’m not the old me any more. I don’t even know who was the old me; she loved you, I know that much,” she confessed. “I have no idea if the new me does…” To be continued........... PART 17 |
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