| The man looked at Mulder and then turned his gaze to Scully. He felt something inside his stomach – a weird feeling. As he looked at each of them again just staring at each other he knew what it was. He was feeling jealousy and admiration at the same time. He was jealous of their unbreakable bond yet at the same time he admired them. The evil inside his heart seemed to vanish as he looked at the two agents. He thought about what to do next. Could he really take the life of this woman in front of the man who loved her? He squinted, keeping a tear from falling. He wouldn’t let his new feelings get in the way of his plans. She was destined to die but now he could die right along with her. “Well, you two obviously have some kind of bond. You can die together then.” He turned, switched off the light, and walked away, slamming the door behind him. Mulder immediately kneeled down next to Scully. “Oh Scully.” He moaned as they both sat there just holding each other. He quickly took off the wire that bound her wrists and ankles, being careful not to hurt her more in the process. Underneath, she was cut and bruised. Mulder had seen mutants and monsters before but none of them scared her more than seeing her like this. Mulder scanned his eyes over his entire body, taking in her many injuries. Instead of making a big fuss about it he just sat next to her and pulled her head to his shoulder. Neither of them spoke as they just sat together. An hour later, they were still sitting in the same position. Scully had her eyes closed – her breathing came out in short gasps. Mulder couldn’t tell if she was still awake. He figured it would be less painful for her if she was asleep so he dared not speak to her. “Mulder, what are you thinking about?” She finally asked, quietly. She lifted her head from his shoulder and looked at him. “I’m thinking about how different how much better things are going to be between us when we get out of here.” Mulder answered. Scully sighed. “Mulder…” She protested. “What are you thinking about?” “Just life in general. About all the various choices I could have made but didn’t.” “Scully, if I could redo the last eight years I would.” “How would you change it?” “The day you walked into my office I would have turned you right around.” “Mulder…” “If I knew what they were going to do to you. Your abduction, your cancer, your inability to have children. I would re-do it all. It’s not fair, Scully.” “Life is never fair, Mulder. I would give up and endure all of those things again for this friendship…this love. Wouldn’t you?” “God yes, Scully. You are the most important thing in my life. I love youso much.” He kissed her forehead and then rested his chin on her head. They fell asleep – dreaming of each other. * * * * Five weeks later, Mulder sat in the hospital hallway. He rested his elbows on his thighs and his head on his hands. He clapped his fingers together nervously. It had only been two weeks since they had been rescued. They were both immediately brought to the hospital. Mulder was forced to stay in the hospital for four days. He was suffering from fatigue and dehydration. He had protested his being bed ridden when he watched Scully being rolled down the hall unconscious on a gurney. She had lost consciousness a week before they were taken from the dark place. The light bulb had burned out soon after the last time the man left them. When Mulder finally saw Scully in the light he realized how bad her injuries really were. She looked like death. She had hidden certain injuries from him that she couldn’t hide anymore. It was time to face the truth however difficult that may be. He looked up as he heard a door open. A nurse walked out of the room backwards, her hands clutching the handles of a wheelchair. She rolled the wheelchair out of the room and down the hall. Mulder stood and stared at Scully’s tiny body. She barely took up half the wheelchair. She looked so small and so weak yet he knew she had never been stronger. The nurse pushed Scully up to Mulder and then excused herself. “How are you feeling, Scully?” Mulder asked. It was sort of a general question. One she answered the same way every time. She was always “fine”. Nothing was ever wrong. Mulder hadn’t left the hospital since they had both been admitted. He wanted to be with her during every moment. She had woken up only a week ago but she had made a good recovery. She was still tired and weaker than she ever had been but she was going to be okay, at least physically. She still wouldn’t talk to Mulder about what the man had done to her and how it was affecting her mind. Mulder knew she took pride in how well she conducted herself when in a position like that and he wouldn’t take that from her. “I feel like I want to go home.” She responded. Mulder smiled. “Your wish is my command.” He walked behind her chair and began pushing her down the hallway. * * * * Mulder searched through his jacket pocket for his keys. He fumbled through an empty gum wrapper and some sunflower seeds before he grasped his keys. He pulled them out and began searching for the right one. He found it right away. It was the one Scully had given him early on in their working career. They had trusted each other with the keys to their apartments. After a few months they just assumed they would find each other in the other’s apartment. It was never a surprise when they would just walk in and find the other waiting for them. Mulder reached out and opened the door. He walked in, pushing Scully inside and then closing the door behind them. “Want me to make you some dinner or make some tea or something?” Mulder asked. “I think I’m just going to go to bed, Mulder. I feel tired.” Scully answered. “Okay.” Mulder said. Using her arms, Scully lifted herself out of the chair. She stood, clutching one of the arm rests for support. She took a step, let go of the chair, and then wobbled slightly. Mulder ran to his rescue, holding her up. “Let me help you.” Normally she would have denied his help telling him she could do it by herself but she felt so tired and as much as she denied her need for it, she really needed him more than ever. Mulder slipped her arm around his shoulder and helped her walk into her bedroom. She sat down on the bed and crawled up to the pillows. Mulder removed her shoes for her and then tucked her in. He reached over towards the bedside lamp to turn it off when she spoke. “You don’t have to stay, Mulder.” She said. “I know. But I want to.” He responded. “Thank you.” She said quietly. He picked up her hand and kissed her knuckles. “I’ll be right outside.” He said. He let go of her hand, turned off the lamp, and then left the room. He kept the door slightly open just in case he wanted to check up on her later. He walked into her living room and sat down on the couch. He propped his feet up on the coffee table and just stared into the darkness. He wanted to talk with Scully about what they had said to each other, what they had confessed to each other but he couldn’t. He didn’t want to push her to do anything that she didn’t want to do, to say something she would later regret. He wanted to just sit in her room and watch her sleep, something he had indulged himself in often, but he wouldn’t. She needed her privacy more than ever. * * * * The man walked towards her. His face was shadowed in darkness. All she could see was his outline. She knew it had come down to the end. This started the third week. She was so tired and wanting to give up. She saw Mulder’s face as the man spoke to her. His voice was smooth and almost loving but she could never love this man. He wasn’t him, he wasn’t Mulder then why was she imagining him to be? Mulder would never do this. Mulder would never hurt her like this man had and yet here she was imagining Mulder’s head on this man’s body. What was her mind doing to her? She was seeing things that weren’t really there. She was making herself hate the man she loved. The sound of his voice pulled her from her nightmare. She opened her eyes and saw him sitting next to her. One of his hands was on her cheek while the other rested on her hand. He repeated her name over and over again. He smiled as she looked up at him. A look of fear spread across her face. “Hey, you okay?” Mulder asked her quietly. “Get away from me!” She yelled. Mulder reached out to hold her arm down when she sprang up from the bed. She ran through the house. “You tried to kill me!” Surprised, Mulder stood and followed her. He found her lying on the bathroom floor. She had started running the bath water. She sat, huddled in a corner rocking back and forth. “Scully.” Mulder said. He tried to reach out and touch her but she pulled away. She curled herself into a smaller ball. “You think I’m him, don’t you? You think I’m the man. Oh Scully. I would never hurt you. You know that.” She looked up at him and then realized what she had done. “Oh Mulder. I…I…I just had a bad dream.” She admitted. She didn’t want to tell him what it was about. How could she make him understand that she thought he was the man who had taken her? He would never understand. “You were dreaming about it again. About him. You really thought I was him, didn’t you?” Scully nodded. Mulder stood against the wall in desperation. She had been having horrible nightmares like that since she had regained her consciousness. Sometimes they were worse. He had once found her on the floor she had banged her head causing it to split open and she still hadn’t woken up. The dreams had to stop or she would end up killing herself. “Is that what you always dream about? Me being him?” She shook her head. “I’m fine, Mulder.” |