We caught the two on a romantic outing in downtown Olympia's Old School Pizzeria, the exact same place Johnson photographed the frontwomen of Throwing Tampons. The new couple shared (yes, SHARED) a slice of cheese pizza, and sipped from a glass of Pepsi (or was it Coke?). Eventually they ventured into the graffiti covered bathrooms, where witnesses heard several banging and thumping noises. Peculiar, no? These sounds were not unlike the sounds that were made at the Throwing Tampons' photo shoot with Johnson. Could this possibly be some sort of initiation? Is Depp replacing Matson on the bass for the band? Or does Johnson just get frisky with everyone? The world may never know.
But what about Depp's girlfriend, Venessa Paradis? We were wondering the very same thing. Sources tell us the French singer/actress/mother of his children has, well, gone crazy. She checked herself into France's most prestigious mental rehabilitation institution, claiming she's been seeing ghosts, and being violent towards her family for no apparent reason. Though this is a very serious situation, Depp has chosen to NOT stand by Paradis's side, and instead forget all about her by running off with an even younger dame.
Younger?? Yes, if you thought the 10 year gap between Depp and Paradis was big, check out the 23 years he's gained on Johnson. When approached by paparazzi, he was quoted, "She may be only 17, but she's more mature than any one of you nosey f*cks!"
-- Neil Lance, Independent News