OMG someone call the Fashion Police ASAP! The ladies of the up-and-coming hip-core group Throwing Tampons have broken the most important rule of Hollywood Fashion - NEVER WEAR THE SAME OUTFIT TWICE.
This is heartbreaking for us here at Teen Rampage Magazine. We were (un)fortunate enough to see a sneak peak of the results of their first and hopefully last photo shoot. What's with Tripp's raggedy, Avril Lavgine-inspired stripes (which we've seen her wear thousands of times) and worn out skirt-over-pants ensemble? Did she just roll out of bed and throw on the first things in sight? The young star (born Amber Kennedy) seems to be going for the innocent look with the blue sparkled 99 cent headband, but proves herself otherwise with thick eyeliner, and a signed chest. She accesorizes her already cluttered look with an out-of-place sports watch, a letter-bead bracelet fit for a 5 year old, and an expensive charm chain with the Chinese symbol for Harmony. This look is more chaotic than harmonious. The only thing we can possibly give compliments to is her choice of neckware. The red leather choker goes well with the red stripes of her shirt, which, unfortunately, does not go with anything else she's wearing. Please, do yourself a favor, Tripp, and GO TO THE MALL.
SOMEONE CALL THE COPS! A THRIFT STORE HAS BEEN ROBBED!
Don't think Jas has gotten off any easier. Her "outfit" (if you can even call it that) just screams "NONCONFORMIST!!" Come on, Jas, you're not kidding anybody with that discount bargain D.A.R.E. sweatshirt - we've seen thousands of kids sporting them these days. She has a good start with the whiskered jeans, but throws off the look with a studded belt, and old beat-up Chuck Taylors (the exact same kind Tripp's wearing!). We suggest this fashion newcomer (originally Jessica Brockmann) goes for a more girly look, by ditching the sweatshirts in general, and slipping into something along the lines of Abercrombie and Fitch. A brown leather belt and a hippy-inspired peasant shirt would give her the trendy worn out look the jeans suggest. She should trade in those Chucks for an open-toed strappy sandal, and let her Davey Havok-esque hair hang free. She should definately keep the glasses, though. They show she's easy-going, honest, and quite intelligent. Jas, use those brains and take our advice!
-- Melissa McDonald, Teen Rampage Magazine