Interview with Xeen

06-26-04

By Ybon Payapa

X Literature's Xeen Nievera has been interviewed for her sexuality on TV and radio 
(including I-Witness, Jessica Soho Reports and XYZone) during an impressive 
LGBT networking that began in 1999. Then in 2003 she decided to stay out of LGBT activism, the same year X Literature closed its virtual doors for the first time, though with a promise of having a new skin upon its re-opening.

Xeen is also known as the creator of Dymlas, the first Filipino lesbian email community. A Political Science Sillimanian, this easy-going writer now makes her home south of Manila with her wife Samantha and their three dogs. I spoke with her recently about her hibernation.

YP: I hope you don't mind another interview. You must get tired of answering the same questions. I'll try to think of something different to ask.

X: I did 10 interviews yesterday. And this is about my 15th today. (Laughs heartily.)

YP: You have your choice to remain workshy from the virtual lesbian community at this point in your life. What made you choose to do Soul Search Journal?

X: The last thing I wanted to do after re-opening X Literature was another virtual project especially one that would involve a glimpse of my everyday life. So, I had to be convinced to do it because I was wavering back and forth about it.

YP: So what tipped you?

X: The clincher was when I realized that no one should let go of the opportunity of speaking up again but in another form. It was like going back to 1999 when I started Dymlas. I thought about it, looked at the virtual scene, for a long time. Eventually, I got to thinking about writing stories which I love and which I’ve done. And after a few months, I was hooked to the idea.

YP: And you seem to be proud of the product.

X: I could've made a weblog with a harder edge and a whole lot more bite, but that would've eliminated half the intended audience. This is a blog on sexuality. It's the most exposed project I’ve ever been a part of.

YP: Do you think the straight parents would tightly secure home PCs to protect 
their children so that they won't be exposed to your blog?

X: That's going to be a tough watch. I believe it's up to parents to control what their children see. But I'm not going to let them off the hook. How about involving the kids in the decision-making? That's what I'm doing. Exposing the real day-to-day normal life of a person who happens to be gay.

YP: That’s easier said than done.

X: Yeah, but it is the responsibility of the parents to help kids open their minds, period. So, there. (Laughs.) And don’t ask me anything like that, again.

YP: X Literature and SSJ give valuable sexuality lessons, especially for those lesbians who are "old-school".

X: (Jokes) Yeah, I might have been born one. You can't teach an old dog new tricks, so I think the old-schoolers actually need the lessons more than the kids.

YP: Do you like being back?

X: I think the website and the weblog are the real stars in this comeback. These're the ones that have to deal with kicking off, bursting with inspiration to promote our advocacy .

YP: How did you like seeing the new skin of X Literature?

X: With all the research and hard work, I have to admit that I was sitting there a little misty-eyed, even though I know that it meant waking me up from my hibernation.

YP: I hear you always stayed away from gender politics.

X: No-nonsense hibernation means staying away from all sorts of politics. I was so saturated. And then there was always the private life to nurture. I like to think that I earned the respect of some of my colleagues when I decided to lie low. Now, if I start hanging out, drinking beer and slapping fives again, that won't be me. I've changed, mellowed much.

YP: Do you think that those changes include your political perspectives?

X: I've none of those as of this moment. You see, I'm still not completely out of my hibernation but I've managed to keep abreast somehow. I still watch tv and read the papers and my emails. For some reason, you just feel the need to come out of your shell without necessarily surrendering your sense of privacy.

YP: Do you think it was money that made you decide to lie low?

X: There isn't much more for me to say about it that hasn't be said. It's been over-analyzed and it's not that important to me, really, at the end of the day. Well, we all have to eat and pay the bills, right?