"Teenagers, are you tired of being harrassed by domineering parents? Well now is the time to act. Leave home now and support yourself while you still know it all!"
Lee thought that an oracle had written it there for him so he got right up and ran about five steps. However, being the lazy person he was, he stopped and started walking thinking to himself, "meh, I'll get there just the same walking."
He walked straight to the forest and decided to go right in, despite the fact that it was getting dark. It was a common fact in the village that when the sun goes down, horrible things are rumored to occur. There were even people who stopped him and told him not to go any further.
Despite the warnings, Lee continued walking in his naive way straight into the forest. He didn't really care what other people said because they're a bunch of idiots anyway. All of a sudden, as he just set foot in the forest, he saw a squirrel. "Wow!" he said. Lee's life was so boring that just the sight of this furry creature excited him. Then, he dove after the squirrel. The villagers looked at him like he was retarded. He didn't care though. He just continued running after the squirrel.
Of course, the squirrel was too quick for Lee. It jumped over a stump and continued running. Lee, however, did not make it quite over the stump and it hurt his no no area. "Oh the pain," he cried. He was whining so much that God came down to tell him to shut up.
One look at Lee's sad face though, and God realized how sad He made Lee. Awww. God thought back at all the horrible things He inflicted on lee and felt so sorry. He said to Lee, "Oh my wreched punching bag. I've inflicted tortured you so much in your short life span. Hmmm. I'll tell you what I shall do. Not only will I take you off of that branch that is lodged up no man's land, but I shall make you immortal and let you rule the earth. You can inflict pain on all the humans as I have on you."
Thus, God granted Lee immortality and gave him some ointment for his bruise. But was he happy? Unfortunately not. Flashing forward to the year 2005, he has smited many people and accomplished many thing, but there was something wrong with him. Although Lee was one hot sexy mofo, he never got to finished puberty and so Lee goes through life with a girly voice that all the other kids make fun of.