Centuries ago in a town called Luxemburg there lived a gentle pretty Italian girl named Kim.  She was always the talk of the town because she had a firey mouth and a venomous bite.  Kim worked at a local pub and was very popular amongst the men of the town.  Men came from far and wide to visit and be harangued by Kim.  They enjoyed it very much, which made many of the women in town jealous, especially Amber.  Amber was the local whore.  Her deep sexy voice lured men to her unwholesome unscrupulous web of corruption. 
  One day, Amber was at her corner on Penland blvd when a young handsome man approached her.  He had a very light complexion with dark features.  He asked her, ?how much??  Amber replied, ?how much to do you have??  The strange man was angered by her reply and, with the speed of lightening, grabbed her by the neck as Amber gasped.  The man leaned in and in a low whisper the man said, ?eternity, and I think I'd like for you to join me."  Realizing the man was a vampire, Amber screamed, "No! Wait!  Please don't hurt me!  If you let me go I will bring you a nice treat?a very tasty woman.  She will make you much happier than me."  The man thought for a minute and replied, "very well.  Bring her to me."
     Little did the woman know that his intentions were not to eat her but to make her his undead bride.  The vampire was no ordinary vampire; he was the one and only Dracula.  Each century, Dracula goes out and searches for a new bride as he tires of the old one.  He takes his pick from the filthiest of women and turns them into his mistresses of the night. 
     Later that night, Amber goes back to the bar and searches for Kim to deliver a message to her.  The note had a poem by John Keats that said:
     Bright star! Would I were steadfast as thou art -
     Not in lone splendour hung aloft the night
     And watching, with eternal lids apart,
     Like nature's patient, sleepless Eremite,
     The moving waters at their priestlike task
     Of pure ablution round earth's human shores,
     Or gazing on the new soft-fallen mask
     Of snow upon the mountains and the moors -
     No - yet still steadfast, still unchangeable,
     Pillowed upon my fair love's ripening breast,
     To feel for ever its soft swell and fall,
     Awake for ever in a sweet unrest,
     Still, still to hear her tender-taken breath,
     And so live ever - or else swoon to death.
     I'd like to meet you.  Kim exclaimed, "oh hell yeah!"  That night Amber took Kim to the ally that she met the strange man and leaves here there.  "Good luck," she said as Amber darted off.
     Dracula was the kind of man that Kim had been searching for.  He had deep mysterious eyes and he was absolutely romantic.  He was well schooled in literature and his knowledge could be easily seen through his eloquent speech.  Dracula said to Kim, "I've been waiting for you.  Kim replied, "yeah, I'm on Asian time."  "Why don't we go to my place and talk?" He asked.  Kim was so entranced that she followed along.
     As the two entered the house, Kim marveled at the wondrous antiques, statues, and paintings.  "" f**ing yeah," thought Kim.  Dracula's mansion was a full representation of all the countries. Eloquently decorated, it was the most perfect place that Kim had ever seen.  Unfortunately, Kim could not shake off a feeling of suspicion she had.  The servants appeared gloomy and there was a melancholy atmosphere despite the glorious décor. 
     Dracula and Kim sat by the fire talking about literature and crap that would bore normal people to death all while listening to Josh Groban belching crap.  Kim, however, couldn't help but notice some peculiarities such as why the servants kept staring or why the strange man, who she still didn't know his name, never took a bite of food.  Kim, however, shook it off because Dracula started to lean in to kiss her.  She was overwhelmed with lust until she felt how cold the man was.  That is when she realized that he was a vampire!
     But it was too late for Kim.  Dracula had already bit down on her neck and the blood started to ooze into his salivating mouth.  "Bloody hell he bit me!" exclaimed Kim.  She tries to push him off but he was too strong.  At first, the bite stung horribly, but then it became euphoric.  All of a sudden, she felt something flowing back into her and she was filled with ecstasy.  Then everything started to fade to black and Kim fell into a deep sleep.  The vampire swooped Kim into her cold arms and carried her off into a large sarcophagus where she laid as peacefully.