June 29th, 2005
11:01PM
some people are just fucking STUPID.
that chick who sent me the petition sent me another one today, another one that yet again said that if I refused to sign it and pester atleast twenty people with it, then there was something morally wrong with me. Youre right, something IS wrong, I'm not fucking STUPID AND LAZY. If I've got a goddamned problem with kids putting batteries up other kids asses, maybe I'll start the goddamned Country Club For Neutral Anuses in Young Children or something. But because I KNOW that signing a goddamned EMAIL (it actually had last names, this time) doesn't prove or help anything, I've decided not to send on another fucking petition to solve world hunger/racism/battery-and-anus-related-problems via the goddamned internet.
the heat is making me angry. can you tell?
5:22PM
I'll be going home from babysitting in ten minutes. (ten minutes to downtown... is ten minutes too far! when my friends all say I'm crazy... erm, i mean, yeah.) it could be my last day; the mother might have the day off tomorrow. this is fine, I guess, but I'd kind of like another day. I have no objection to thirty dollars, nooooo siree I do not. It depends, though, on what the boy is doing tomorrow. I will be sad if I do not have to babysit, but he has to work. (Which is, actually, most likely the case.)
tomorrow night, dartmouth! and if I dont work tomorrow, maybe we can catch that April Wine concert... hm, and maybe a local show. ack! I must go talk to rob now!
9:02AM
Okay, this is a forward that I got this morning.
"Hey everyone. I was in a chat room and saw something horrible.Two people were talking about how black people suck. They called them "niggers" and "jungle babies" and they said that they multiply like crazy just to get a welfare check every month. This is important. I want to get 1000 signatures on here. If you are not a racist, then please sign it. If you are a racist, don't sign it. Get a life instead. Send it to as many people as you can. If you don't send this you will not have bad luck, but have to live with the guilt that you hate someone because they are different. Think before you delete this. Please send this to at least one person. Thanks. Copy all the words then paste them on a blank e-mail and add your name."
I know this seems like your standard email, but it's point is so easily lost. I hate to find stupid things like this in my inbox, where all the names on the petition are just first names like "Katie" and "susie" and "george." Like, who the hell are Katie, Susie, and George? And who gives a crap anyway? What does signing an email prove? It proves that youre LAZY, because you think that chucking your first name on an email will somehow right all the wrongs in the world - "Oh, I'm sure that putting my name on here and sending this to 200 people will really get rid of racism in the world." Either that, or make my Hotmail quickly approach its space limit.
I mean, its as if these people dont realize how freaking ANNOYING they're being. The fact that they are pestering to frequently and so unprofessionally and in such a disorganized manner, is, to be frank, much more of an issue than the fact that it is to combat racism.
so, whoever started this, I'd just like to say, you're incredibly stupid and lazy, because starting a chain message isn't going to stop lynching and hate crimes. no, if anything, it actually pissed me off, but for the wrong reasons. I mean, they didn't even include an email address to send it to once they got to minimal requirement - nothing short of A THOUSAND signatures. No, you just cant freaking sleep at night if you haven't aggravated a thousand people yet today.
whoever you are reading this now, please, dont do anything as stupid as trying to start one of these lame petitions. they acheive nothing, nothing at all. so don't waste your time. if you have a problem with racism, get active in your community, instead of firing off bullshit to fifty people at a time.
June 28th, 2005
9:57PM
my whole life is going to that slap guitar thing in the funk section of flash flash revolution.
I tried to color my hair with kool aid but its too dark. nonetheless I have urges to dye it; I need strong moral counselling to talk me out of this. possibly one of those people who knows how to talk down people who are about to jump out of 26th floor windows.
it is two months tonight but the lines are busy and its getting late, I'll go to sleep in the quiet and in the dark. sigh sigh sigh.
8:44PM
half of my babysitting down, two days left to go.
I saw Land of the Dead last night, against my mothers wishes (she has been cranky to me all night about how I moreso put on my shoes and said I was going, less than asking for permission). there was much bitterness, she said she couldn't wait until I left for Ontario, there was something about me making her feel awful (to which I said brightly, "Accusations are the WORST!" in an innocent voice), and how it would be a long god damned summer. and with that I left.
in the movie a zombie ripped out this girls bellybutton ring. that made me squirm; i am now painfully aware of my naval piercing.
I also have a small desire to pierce my nose while in Ontario next week, but the consent age is likely eighteen. damnit, damn it all.
yesterday I went on the trampoline too much. it makes my bed feel like its moving when it isn't. thats not right. I'm staying home this weekend. I dont like blackflies anyway. My parents go away every weekend now.
June 26th, 2005
12:09PM
I got a small job for the next four days! babysitting. I'm not too thrilled on the idea, but man, I am des-per-ate for money. And plus, this pays twice as much as I used to get, babysitting across the street all day.
plus they have a trampoline, and the older girl has a classical guitar. maybe I'll bring over some strings and fix up her guitar and just play it all day.
This morning when I woke up I realized that my shirt matched my underwear. this amuses me greatly. I also noticed that all of the sheets (including that mattress cover one) were pulled off the bed. yeaaah sometimes I sleep weird. I also noted that when I went to sleep, I had been sleeping just ontop of my comforter, and when I woke up, I was somehow under all the blankets. wow, this is mundane.
I finally succumbed to the gruesome task of washing the dishes this morning. the radio started to play led zeppelin, and craving more, I went to the basement and took out dad's Houses Of The Holy album (while laughing at his Iron Maiden records). I sat in the living room and listened while drinking tea (mango flavored) and reading Stephen King's "Tommyknockers".
and there was this part in the book where the main character was depressed at her age, and how often she thought about how she was depressed at her age. and suddenly I got this gross feeling that I rarely get. and I couldn't read anymore because I was staring over the book with this bitter feeling in my stomach. how will I feel when I'm in my thirties? old? what will that be like, looking in the mirror and seeing wrinkles. Would that be anything like looking in the mirror and seeing extra fat? except this time, exercise and diet doesn't change it... you get old, that's the only choice.
and then you die.
that small thought was lodged deeply in my train of thought. dead. like being trapped in the closed coffin and thrown six feet underground. like being alive and pounding in futile efforts from inside. what is it all worth, if I only die in the end? I dont want to live, because I dont want to die. Does that make sense? I hate those desperate feelings. Sometimes I wish I had faith, or was born in a house where I had religion forced down my throat. Maybe then I'd have some sort of conception of what happens after death. Instead of knowing, all my life, that death is it, and all your accomplishments mean jack shit. yey.
well now that I'm optimistic... I think I'll just go update myspace now.
June 24th, 2005
4:53PM
happy birthday meghan! she had a get together (I wrote "party", thought better of it, and wrote "party" instead) last night. I made her a bag and put pens, comp book, and blink 182 in it. yey yey. Then we all went to the movies to see Mr. and Mrs. Smith, which was painfully long but had a great catchy dancy soundtrack. It was amusing because of the contrast between the music and what was going on. For instance, sex music whilst they're beating the fuck out of each other.
we all drove back to Meghans house after; there were two car loads. I was with Melissa (driver), taking shotgun, with Ellen and Hannah in the backseat (haha I almost wrote "ellen and whitman"). We were al psyched from the crazy spy-stunt-ness of the movie, so we were driving pretty reckless, trying to beat the other carload (driven by my sixth grade Language Arts teacher, who had, earlier on in the evening, asked me what I was doing reading a comp book when there was a party going on... o_O x 35262632). We just floored it on the backroads... and we practiced using the child protection lock thingies on the seatbelts. we were like, jerking ourselves forward violently, trying to set them off. so we all ended up rocking back and forth in unison, which made Melissa freak out, so she freaked us out by hitting the brake rhythmically down a hill to make us all freak out. haha.
anyway, yes, driving is fun, I must learn how to do that sometime.
show tomorrow night is cancelled, I might go to Fredericton, but I dont want to bail on Daniel and leave town, especially cause the weathers going to be reeeally hot, and I have a pool at home. But my aunt will be there, the one with cancer, and I really want Chucks from Winners. hahaha.
well I'm going to go and melt or something now.
June 23rd, 2005
11:04PM
i cant wait to graduate. i can't wait, because it will be the next step in this progressive story of HOW CRISSI COCHRANE RAISED HERSELF BECAUSE HER MOTHER WAS A FUCKING MORON.
1:00PM
my brother has graduated. I had to dust my grandparents room yesterday and I found many dead spiders and cobwebs there. There was a picture of my brother as a baby and there were dead spiders behind it. it made me emo and I wrote a weird angsty thing about childhood being dead. and... ick. spiders.
graduation ceremonies last night were too long and old people smell too bad. except my old people, they're wicked cool. plus: kevin hudson = yey, for making loud defiant exclamations while receiving his diploma. all people should get five seconds to yell out things to their mothers.
also, grad gowns = ugly, esp. when chicks wear tacky high heels, it makes them look too top heavy and unbalanced. I want to wear ripped jeans and converse shoes on my graduation ceremony.
plus, too many kids got scholarships for sports. no. we dont need sports, we have enough athletes, thank you, let us move on to solving overpopulation in underdevelopped countries.
i couldn't go to grad party cause I wasn't invited so I drew drunk pictures until 12:30, woke up at 5:30, and colored my pictures until I had to get ready for school. then we had a lame awards ceremony, and I would bitch about it, but its all been said nicely on my myspace account. so read that up, there is also a big rant thing there too that I wrote from last night. ah yes it is intriguing much.
June 20th, 2005
10:53PM
i just thought I'd tell you that I love you. what with the fact that this month we have the second biggest number of hits on this page EVER, and its not even done yet.
6:34PM
ho.lee.fuck. wouldn't it be so fucking RAD if the get up kids wrote a song called holy ramen! instead of roman! aaaaaaaaaahhhhhh <3 <3
6:30PM
ps:
"every night you get annihilated with all your friends!
every night I drink alone until you stumble home wanting some!
(its a fuck and run!)"
- Exerpts from various notes strewn around the bedroom of april connoly, february 24th 1997, by Cursive
i liked that song so much more once I figured the lyrics out.
6:24PM
thank you for those of you who told me that my font was not too small, yey.
i tanned for three hours today. i slept in until one. i like sun, i like sleep. best songs to sleep in sun to:
blur - coffee and tv
the eels - saturday morning
beulah - popular mechanics for lovers
super furry animals - hello sunshine
the shins - kissing the lipless
postal service - sleeping in
get up kids - holy roman.
now go, go away and compose mix tapes of nothing but mellow sun songs. i know I want to.
June 19th, 2005
6:55PM
is this font too small? please tell me.
goose vs. dinosaur!
once upon a time there was a small goose named loosy. loosy was sad cause she was so tiny and would never grow any bigger, so one day she wandered away from her pond. hidden in the trees she found a shiny thing, and as shiny things were her weakness, she was undeniably drawn towards it.
so she touched its shiny surface with the claw on her foot and ZOOM SHE WAS TRANSPORTED THROUGH TIME.
she appeared in a leafy glade where a dinosaur was crunching away. loosy ran, ran like she had never ran before. but the dinosaur was intrigued and the dinosaur had big legs and it caught up with her in a second and it went "aarrEEEEEEEEEEeeeeEe".
the goose was frozen in fright! there was no use in running! its all over its all over!
so she turned to face the gigantic monster at her heels (or, webbed... claw... thing, if you prefer)... and it... sniffed her. then it seemed to lean back, but in truth all it really did was raise its head back up far far far far far above loosy's head, so that she practically had to fall over to make eye contact.
"my name is zemo!" declared the dinosaur. "do not fear me! I eat only plants!"
but the goose was terrified, oh yes terrified, and so she ran. and she hid in a leafy leafy plant for seven days until zemo returned, but because he was so distracted in his vegetarian gorging he didn't see her and he ate her.
the moral of a story is. shiny things are bad. bad for your health and well being, because you NEVER FUCKING KNOW when a vegetarian dinosaur is going to eat you.
1:27PM
June 18th, 2005
so yeah, party last night was ass. but at least good inspiration.... catch fire for the sake of love! <3
2:44AM
... I want to sleep and dream my nightmares and pretend, in the morning, that I was never there. I hate the bitter words that pour out of my mouth and I hate myself for trying instantly to take them back. why do you taunt me... i dis.con.nect these fingers because I was taught to never talk to strangers. the burning debris rises in the night. and I will cry until sun up if I must because it is all gone to hell, hell like those flames, hell like your touch, hell like your taste. and all the time I want to scream because I wish I would catch fire and die and let it be over. tonight means nothing. I wasn't with you for one second, anyway....
June 17th, 2005
THE ZEBRA STORYTELLER
Once upon a time there was a Siamese cat who pretended to be a lion and spoke inappropriate Zebraic.
That language is whinnied by the race of striped horses in Africa.
Here now: An innocent zebra is walking in a jungle, and approaching from another direction is the little cat; they meet.
“Hello there!” says the Siamese cat in perfectly pronounced Zebraic. “It certainly is a pleasant day, isn’t it? The sun is shining, the birds are singing, isn’t the world a lovely place to live today!”
The zebra is so astonished at hearing a Siamese cat speaking like a zebra, why, he’s just fit to be tied.
So the little cat quickly ties him up, kills him, and drags the better parts of the carcass back to his den.
The cat successfully hunted zebras many months in this manner, dining on filet mignon of zebra every night, and from the better hides he made bow neckties and wide belts after the fashion of the decadent princes of the Old Siamese court.
He began boasting to his friends he was a lion, and he gave them as proof the fact that he hunted zebras.
The delicate noses of the zebras told them there was really no lion in the neighborhood. The zebra deaths caused many to avoid the region. Superstitious, they decided the woods were haunted by the ghost of a lion.
One day the storyteller of the zebras was ambling, and through his mind ran plots for stories to amuse the other zebras, when suddenly his eyes brightened, and he said, “That’s it! I’ll tell a story about a Siamese cat who learns to speak our language! What an idea! That’ll make ’em laugh!”
Just then the Siamese cat appeared before him, and said, “Hello there! Pleasant day today, isn’t it!”
The zebra storyteller wasn’t fit to be tied at hearing a cat speaking his language, because he’d been thinking about that very thing.
He took a good look at the cat, and he didn’t know why, but there was something about his looks he didn’t like, so he kicked him with a hoof and killed him.
That is the function of the storyteller.
you know, I'm not feeling that great about exams being over, mostly because I only had one actual exam. except I got to play with frog fat, which is supposed to be really important, but i didn't think so, thus the reason why i gave my frog liposuction, even though it wasn't in the biology 11 advanced immersion curriculum, but it SHOULD be, damnit, what with the media today, we're going to need more lipo surgeons.
my wrist almost fell off today. yeah. it was pretty tragic. i wrote two and a half pages of legal sized lined paper, teeny writing, single spaced. yeah. like, two and a half hours of writing. after a while my knack for vocab words kind of died and I just relied on wit. which i dont have much of.
msn is dying, it made me sad, I cried to imogen heap last night, because imogen heap is jesus.
i know atleast two people who could potentially kill me for saying that. but i'm done exams, and with my luck, i'll be dead by monday morning anyway
and again, i know people who could potentially kill me for saying that, so let me say that i dont mean literally dead. just socially, emotionally, physically, yeah.
June 16th, 2005
auriculoventriculaire! says:
4:00PM
"Guys... I'm sad.... I'm going to go home and play Neopets."
this weekend will be the death of me. it will be the highlight of my teenage life. most likely because my life will end shortly thereafter
June 15th, 2005
fuck, the sound of animals fucking are fucking RAD. Download all of their stuff. Specifically anything starting with "Act:".
might go for a walk tonight. i hate the silent phone. i hate exams. i hate people with hundreds of myspace friends.
4:31PM
my computer got fixed so myspace works again. but now that I have looked at Michealas 100-some odd friends and 300 comments (well, okay, briefly, I have some form of a life), I have been thoroughly discouraged. I think I will return to this lovely little self made blog, simply because YOU DONT HAVE ONE, nah nah nah.
tonight I'm going to talk to my little Ontario spy about music and possibly stab my fingernails with a sewing machine. i have many many presents to make before I take my trip this summer.
news update, the Daily show rocks my rocks off, Will Ferrell floats my chicken, "Whats up, bitch!?"
June 14th, 2005
thank god someone finally made a post to the guestbook
11:04PM
4:41PM
maybe I do want to be a vet. frog fat looks like orange tentacles.
"I like the smell of smoke."
This computer lab is very empty, but I'm thankful that for once there isn't a ton of people here to make fun at how fast I type. That gets annoying quick, especially because I don't really consider myself to be a fast typer. Today I'm trying to dress intelligent - my hemp-ish looking flip flops, dark jeans with a brown belt, and this light purple blouse. I brought all my stuff in this little red/white/colorful hearts bag that i made over the weekend. I swear, my whole life is in there. This morning, there was, in my bag...:
- a beach striped comp book.
well I'm done here, I'm going to go back to attempting to study my damned Bio notes. (stupid ADD... I hope someone comes on MSN soon, raaar.)
June 13th, 2005
I'd just like to say... the guestbook works. please people. make some posts.
I'd also like to mention that the site is getting mad hits lately. twenty one hits on sunday, daaayamn. Its only the 13th and so far we've got more than half the amount of hits we got last month. So I'm kind of worried. Maybe I said something discriminatory on here and you're showing all your friends at laughing at me. ... ah well. I guess there isn't too much I can do about that.
and holy crap, I havent eaten a single ramen noodle all weekend. something is seriously wrong with me. but I made a little bag last night, its red on the outside and white with colorful hearts on the inside. tonight I shall study hardcore for my bio test/dissection, and then try to locate some nylon strings - I wanna try to make one of my shitty student guitars into a temporary classical.
June 12th, 2005
a grey sunday morning. err afternoon. I finished Ellen's mixtape last night. I feel good about this one, I like the weird collage on the cover and the Oberst references, sigh sigh.
well, tomorrow is the last day of class, for all you silly people who feel like attending. me, I'd rather fail my french test. haha. actually, I wouldn't. but it doesnt mean much to me anyway... I dont really think that whether or not Seraphin(m?) knocked up a fifteen year old is going to determine my legitimacy at speaking the french language. This term sucked, we didn't actually learn anything about the fucking french language at all. it was basically just an opportunity for our french teacher to traipze around, denounce Acadians and brag about how fucking grand Quebec is. This is a provincial recognition that I do not share, because I dont like cigarettes and Pepsi for breakfast.
anyway, thats my small rant for now. expect more later.<3
June 11th, 2005
holy crap, I've been online for two hours, how the fuck did that happen. it feels like only 45 minutes or so. okay.
just making a quick update. the poetry section sucked because all my poems were amateur and from eighth grade, so I took down everything that sucked (or, mostly just everything, but theres six or seven tolerable poems left) and put up a whole bunch of good ones. including lashes for linda. so read it, because cancer is a bad bad thing.
6:49PM
I hate being deserted. I hate this. it makes me want to take advantage of this lack of parenting.
Ellen, I have started to make your mixtape. I had to stop though because I went to Wolfville today with John while he got his back tattoo finished up. I flipped through many pictures of Collin's works and played many a game of Bejeweled (that shit is addictive).
this is my poem.
June 10th, 2005
man, now that I can't use myspace anymore (I probably wont get a chance to, because it doesn't work on these computers and I probably wont be getting much access to the school computers over the summer), I've been updating this so much. so much that I could end up saying things that get me in trouble. merk.
so yeah, feel free to make all your posts to the guest book, they'll actually get submitted now, yeey.
i did small updates to the Save September section. i'd make you a link but I'm too lazy, and so I'm going to make you move your right hand about two centimetres to the left as consequence. then again you probably arent checking anyway, so, yeaaah!
this weekend is either going to suck or rock. i'm going to be living off ramen, writing in comp books, and making mix tapes. while practicing like MAD for next weekend's show. and possibly escaping to wolfville with John tomorrow to observe whilst he gets his back tattooed. Plus I have to rent out this movie from Light and Shadow cause we're having a test on it, and I'm not going to be present on the day when we finish watching it.
oh yeah, and I'll be studying hardcore. maybe if I'm lucky I wont be able to notice how horribly alone I'll be. bahahaha.
by the way, babysitting is very profitable. its like the army. if you stop thinking, pretend to be someone else, and do what youre told/what youre supposed to (by killing all free will), it works out AWESOME. just great.
June 9th, 2005
I added a new section to the save september page - its a little lyrics page, and I put up new lyrics to this song I wrote three nights ago (called sick and sore).
well I'm sorry that this is painfully short. and that my guestbook has been malfunctioning. i shall delete posts so that they'll keep coming in. sorry sorry sorry
going to go to dollarama tonight, maybe! must get ramen/comp books/mix tapes. woo woo
June 6th, 2005
so yeah, working in the computer lab. I guess they're really untalented with how to block websites, anyway, I can still update my geocities. I just finished doing Daniel's homework because being a doormat is what I do best, really. (things that make me feel horrible and stupid inside.)
I dont really know why I'm still in here because its kind of one of those times where I feel like my mere presence is just annoying, like, oh, why is she here. But I'm really too lazy to change. so oh well.
the weather is kinda nice out today, even though they said that it was supposed to rain. as part of my lame attempt at being healthy I'll probably walk out to the park again tonight, but, for the sake of not being raped, I wont disclose which.
anyway... uh... being on geocities. makes me antsy cause sometimes teachers be lame and check. and geordie just read my typing so I slapped him. but then I felt bad and wrote him an apology in his graphing calculators. man, I love those things, I never actually learned how to use them - I just kind of sat there in class and wrote out song lyrics on them, in hopes that some poor intereted curious kid would read them in the next class. woo woo.
June 5th, 2005
(Taken from a composition book, written sometime around 12:30PM, June 5/05)
They dont make cars big enough to hide in. (these
1:38PM
We got back from the cottage today. The weather wasn't great so we didn't have much to do. I was going to drive down the dirt road but the car was parked weird and the wheels were turned and I couldn't back up and straighten my wheels and dad yelled at me so I cried. I think I will move to New York City where all the grocery stores and hospitals are near by, so I can buy a bike or just walk everywhere.
I went walking a lot yesterday. In the morning I went to the park and I sat under a tree and worked on my french Portfolio. And when I got to the cottage I walked to the boy scout camp. But I thought I heard people so I took off my flip flops and walked barefoot to make less noise. And then I saw someone get into a car, and I put my flipflops on and ran like hell down the road. I dont know why. I really wanted to go back and see how badly vandalized it is.
and then I walked out again to the boyscout camp but I heard people again so I got scared and went back home. I wrote in my comp book a lot and I played a bit at the campfire. But mostly everyone was drunk and it was just annoying, I had a glass of rum and coke myself but I just didn't really feel it at all.
anyways I feel kind of like death and I dont know when Daniel is working and I'm dying from withdrawl, and I wish I didn't have to eat yogurt, so I'm going to scour the house trying to find food that is healthy but doesnt taste like nothing.
June 4th, 2005
Aaah a lovely Saturday morning. I got up because I accidently woke up, and had left the blinds open. My room was so painfully bright and the colors were so loud and vibrant that I couldn't close my eyes again. Not to sleep. And so I got up and wandered around.
The doorbell rang shortly before nine, and it was the neighbor, with two cans of cold beer for my dad as a reminder that my dad said he would look after that family's pets for the weekend. My dad wasn't awake yet, and I remember staring at the cans and thinking, you know, if he doesn't know that he has two more beers, maybe he wont notice if they go missing. but then I decided that I was a nice straightedge kid and I wasnt going to drink beer anyway because it tastes like death. and tea. which is. kind of the same thing.
I was considering making my resumés this morning and going to the mall to hand them out at places, but our printer has no ink to print them off with. I guess it's just as well, I'm really nervous about applying anywhere, I guess. I just want to make a good impression. I've never given a resumé in in person before.
Anyway, I think I'm done here. See, I went online early cause I knew no one would be online to distract me from doing my emails and then getting off of this useless piece of junk. I think I'm going to clean the hamster cage, go for a walk up to the park (my pathetic attempt at fulfilling 30 minutes of daily exercise), and then pack. We're going up to the cottage for the night tonight.
by the way, daniel, if youre reading this, can I have one of those star wars movie stubs? woo woo.
June 1st, 2005
Hey! Got back from the music social an hour ago. It was great fun. They gave out awards for a while in the performance centre. I was very antsy though about the cofeehouse portion and had to escape to the bathroom. The problem was that I took the SIDE door. And I wanted to make the same discreet entrance as my exit had been.
so i slipped off my heel and left it in the doorway. and then I took my other one off and left it next to it.
A, so my first shoe wouldn't be lonely.
I got an award for Exceptional Musicianship. Kind of surprising, because I definitely do not consider myself to be the best in my section let alone the band. Since the wolfville kids came, I have lost all faith in my instrument! haha.
They did some pretty rad awards for the 12th graders too. I'm pretty bummed that Ben Taylor didn't get the award for biggest flirt (come on guys!), and I'm not surprised that Galen Pelley took home like 5320853652 beautiful shiny objects, but the best award by far was the "Scott is so HOT" award. (Nominees: Scotty MacKinnon, Scotty MacKinnon, and Scotty MacKinnon...)
and then we all migrated into horton hall. I didn't eat any of the food, and I'm massively hungry now. Roar. But anyway, when they called me to go play, I had to run around back to get my guitar (in heels... merk, I was kind of slow) and I was rushing. And I took a short cut to the stage between the side of the little wall thingy with the railing and a table of sound equipment. And I underestimated the necessary space, and I smashed my guitar into the railing. Sound of wood crunching! aaagonyy.
I played October, because I'm lame and was too scared to do this Postal Service song (Such Great Heights) because I didn't know the words and the melody too too well yet. Anyway. I spent the whole song agonizing internally about how my guitar had a hole in the front of it (not a real hole, but a huge dent. it knocked my guitar out of tune quite badly).
Daniel and Andy went before me and did some more crazy beatboxing/hand drums. Man, that always amuses the hell out of me... beatboxing through a didgery doo (horrible spelling I imagine). Woo woo. and Alex and Jeff went after me with Float On by Modest Mouse. Haha I went home and listened to that song. I looove it. I was sitting in listening to them practice in Music today, and it amuses me how one of them just hits a riff, and the other knows exactly what it is and exactly how to play the coresponding part. I'm not too brilliant at playing with other people, I just get too shy with the instrument.
There was a smal parental ensemble too, and my dad was in that. It was pretty amusing haha, I was just waiting for dad to do a solo and he did one in the second song, woo woo.
Me and Jeff went up for the last song and we did "Save Your Scissors" by Dallas Green. It went over pretty good, considering that that was the third time we had played it all through, even. I enjoy that song. It doesnt make my hands hurt as much as it used to (I'm not used to playing power chords over and over on acoustic... my hands aren't used to it at ALL).
The weather is finally geting nicer... I wore a tanktop and didn't even need to bring a sweater along with me. Soon it'll be too hot for the hot tub! And dance tomorrow night, woo woo.
last months posts are in the Archives section.
look out for some updates to the music section sometime soon...
i am the trix rabbit! MWAHAHAHA where is that bottle of rum. david owes me a drink.
3:30PM
have some comp book.
12:58PM
Spencer Holst
12:28PM
10:47PM
i hate this because i always feel like I'm screwing it up while i'm screwing it up but i just cant fucking stop screwing it up
"what? to the casting call!"
6:38PM
more posts to the book by Dres and Daniel (not dblais, Daniel from Arkansas).
11:10PM
i am so unhappy that my comp book is crying.
but atleast I figured it out
I dissected a frog today! he was juicy. I tipped the tray and all his fluids came out. They were clear with speckly things in him. we pulled the skin off his leg and there were tendons attatched. there was no blood. i took off his lung. we blew it up with a little tubey thingy.
"... it smells like my grandmother dying."
9:38PM
first day of exams! the weather is grey and disgusting, and I have about three hours and twenty minutes to kill before my exam starts. I couldnt get a ride up in the afternoon beacuse my parents are still away. Rar. So I guess I'm stuck here... baaah.
- english notes.
- bio notes.
- a package of Smack Ramen.
- this weird granola bar with peanuts in it.
- a package of embroidery floss.
- nail clippers to cut embroidery floss with.
- a Hansen CD, still in original wraping.
- The Perks Of Being A Wallflower, by Stephen Chbosky. (with a big soup in a cup stain on the cover, its not even my book, raar, guilt!)
- a mixtape for Ellen.
- lipgloss.
- a pen and pencil.
- house keys.
- about eight pins. Only one of them is actually from a store.
- thirteen bucks in a sealed envelope to pay for my drug debts.(slash, the book I lost for french class.)
6:31PM
1:35PM
8:35PM
Today is a Saturday of all Saturdays. I have nothing to do, and nothing I can do. I have been ditched by my parents, and my only method of transportation is my two feet (I don't even have a bike)... but it doesn't matter, because I have no where to go anyway. I will most likely end tonight listening to the get up kids, and crying on my kitchen floor. But I'm done making record bowls (possibly because I have nothing left lying around that would necessitate a bowl), so I'll maybe just make cookies instead.
she is born with ears.
hair.
toes.
and lashes on her eyes.
they giggle in french exclamations.
they play with her toes and
brush fingers along her eyelashes because
when they lay her in her coffin in fourty years
she will have none
11:27PM
4:09PM
1:37PM
6:01PM
wheels fucking refuse to turn right.) how. is. this.
supposed to be easy. pain like strep wont let me
breathe. this is your fault. you cant expect me
to succeed at skills I can't practice. not when
you waste all your time on someone else (I
HOPE THIS MAKES YOU FEEL OLD). so what
the fuck can you do for me. nothingnothingnothingnothingnothing
nothingnothingnothingnothing... when you wasteall your time
and money on the kid who doesn't even get
basic commands! so now you're broke (while
saving my life funds every month) and I've got
a legitimate disability. but. oh. youre. broke.
now. (dont assume anything, to assume is
to expect and to expect is to be! let! DOWN!)
trade me in for a better looking brand!
you only teach in screams (and you only train
me to be fucking neurotic like you). oh this
makes me want to rip off this medicinal
plastic and slap it across your face. I dont
ever want to drive again. I'll buy a fucking
bike, I'll live in New York City where there's a
grocery store and hospital on every block. so
make it easy for me to fuck this up! you
know you're looking for an easy way out. I
am the best form of entertainment in
steel frames and rolling wheels! (Thats
right, YELL AT ME, FUCK, YOU KNOW
IT ALWAYS KEPT ME IN LINE BEFORE)
(lock the cupboard, I'll burn it open and
take everything in it). THIS is
why I'm miserable! this is why I replace you
with the sweet taste of poisoned oxygen.
(no ashes dont scream no ashes dont yell)
uh a 97, thats great but you could have
done better couldn't you. oh a standing ovation
but the crowd didn't like it. no, braake brake
stop turn left hard right slow down too slow
come on bitch youre not jumping high
enough yet! something inside is
squirming. to be let go.
theres more but Im too lazy.
well, the sunny weather didn't last. today is rainy and gross. I hate these days, we had three weeks straight of it, what the hell did we do to deserve so much freaking rain anyway.
9:36PM
11:14PM
B, so the security guard wouldnt think I had polio.