I really do not want to deter those who want to get married and upset
those who are already married, but ...


*  Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence (a life sentence!).

*  Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his
   Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters.

*  Marriage is a thing which puts a ring on a woman's finger
   and two under the man's eyes.

*  Marriage requires a man to prepare 4 types of "RINGS" :
   - The Engagement Ring
   - The Wedding Ring
   - The Suffe-Ring
   - The Endu-Ring

*  Married life is full of excitement and frustration :
   - In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the
     woman listens.
   - In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
   - In the third year, they BOTH speak and the NEIGHBOURS
     listen.
*  Getting married is very much like going to the restaurant
   with friends.  You order what you want, and when you see what
   the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.

*  It's true that all men are born free and equal - but some of
   them get MARRIED!

*  There was this man who muttered a few words in the church
   and found himself married. A year later he muttered
   something in his sleep and found himself divorced.

*  Son: Is it true? Dad, I heard that in ancient China, a man
    doesn't   know his wife until he marries.
   Father: That happens everywhere, son, EVERYWHERE!

*  There was a man who said, "I never knew what happiness was
   until I got married.... and then it was too late!"

*  Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

*  When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when
   a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.

*  There was this lover who said that he would go through hell
   for her. They got married, and now he is going through HELL.

*  They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before
   marriage, it is love; after marriage it is self-defence.

*  After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was 
   a fool when I married you."  And the husband replied, "Yes, 
   dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it."
 
*  It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, 
   he still ends up with the same boss.
 
*  A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds :"Wife wanted".  
   Next day he received a hundred letters.  They all said the 
   same thing: "You can have mine."
 
*  When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can 
   be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.