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NOTE: Explicit Juley-Wuley/Nick lovins in this part. BEWARE. I guess. But you probably wouldn't be reading this unless you wanted to.
It was dark. Nick could feel the pleasant dullness of being on the edge of drunk. His feet were in Julian's lap, and Julian was singing along to a song on the radio. The song was beautiful, and from the sound of it Nick could tell it was about unrequited love. How fitting, he thought bitterly.
Julian finished off his beer, but didn't get up to retrieve another. He sat silent, turning the empty bottle over in his hands. He didn't even move or a minute or two, when he finally murmured, "I was so fucking scared. I thought I was going to be alone my whole life. I thought... I don't know. It's just that I've lost so many goddamn people as I go along in life. And you... I couldn't stand to lose you." Julian laughed softly, wistfully. "And I always told myself I *wouldn't* lose you. I kept thinking you'd always be here by my side, 'cause we'd already been through so much. And when you..." Julian stopped and swallowed. Nick's eyes stung. He didn't know how much he had hurt Julian...
"When you told me you wanted out, I got so afraid," he continued, his voice a hoarse whisper. "I just wanted to fucking die."
It was silent for a moment, and then Julian laughed self- deprecatingly and tossed the beer can at the waste basket. It bounced off the rim, and he rose to pick it up, but Nick kicked him in the thigh and he toppled back onto the couch. "What?"
"Julian. Come here."
Julian's dark eyes looked slightly fearful, but he complied, leaning over.
"Closer," Nick said.
Julian obliged.
"A little closer," Nick murmured.
Julian shifted so he was beside Nick.
"Closer," he whispered.
Julian took Nick's chin in his hand, and with seductive eyes now free of apprehension, kissed him hard and deep.
Their mouths moved slowly together. The inside of Julian's mouth was soft and smooth and tasted the way he smelled - cigarette smoke and the bite of alcohol. Nick grabbed Julian's collar and swung himself up so he was straddling him, trying not to break the kiss that sent jolts of giddy pleasure through his body. Everything was racing, getting hotter. His blood was coursing faster in accordance with the beating of his heart. Everything was dizzying. Christ... I'm kissing Julian...
Nick was in the throes of paralyzing doubt, but that didn't stop him from enjoying Julian's attentions. His brain told him to pull back and ask why, but the part of his body he used more frequently than his brain was telling him to keep going. All the way and beyond; he wanted to give all of himself to Julian indefinitely. A quiet moan escaped, and Julian's lips against his own pulled into a smirk.
His body aching with lust and guilt and desperation, Nick pushed himself harder against Julian's lean body. Julian, of course, pushed back, rubbing his hands down Nick's back and over his hips and thighs. Then his slender curious fingers wandered upwards again and tugged insistently at Nick's shirt. Nick obliged, yanking it off and tossing it away. He didn't see where it landed. His whole body was alight and tingling with lust and anticipation. (AN: Doesn't this sound like a dime novel or something? Jeez.) Nick could see this giddiness in the smirk of Julian's sculpted lips; he wondered briefly if Julian always looked this beautiful right before sex. He hoped not. He hoped that angelic beauty was only for him.
Sighing, Nick wantonly slid his palms over his own body. Julian followed his actions, stroking Nick's soft skin with his fingertips. Nick let his head drop back as he lifted his hips and moaned, a heated, tingling feeling building in the pit of his stomach. The wet, warm feeling of Julian's mouth on his skin was a pleasant surprise, coaxing another moan from him that spiked rapidly upwards in volume as Julian's mouth moved lower.
"Julian..." Nick could barely get the word from his mouth. Holy shit... this brought whole new meaning to the word "good comes to those who wait." Nick, god knew, had waited for this. And it was paying off, big time. With shaking hands, Nick took Julian's chin and pulled him away. The wet spots where Julian's tongue had touched his skin were cold.
"Bedroom," he mouthed, and they rose together, passion silent but present. Nick could feel the way Julian itched to touch him again, even in the few seconds they were apart. As soon as they had made it into the bedroom, Nick kicked the door shut and wrapped him in a tight embrace, backing up until they both collapsed on the bed together, a tangle of skinny arms and untied shoelaces and unkempt hair and locking lips.
As soon as they found their bearings, Julian trapped Nick's hands above his head and attacked the sensitive, pale skin again with his tongue and teeth. Nick yelped and squirmed as Julian's skilled tongue laved his ticklish spots, and he nipped wherever he could with not-so-gentle teeth.
Wriggling from Julian's grip, Nick rubbed his palms up and down Julian's long, dark back, drawing a pleasured purr from him. Julian was much more finely muscled than Nick had thought, and inwardly he smiled with a selfish glee.
Moaning throatily, Julian pressed his body flush with Nick's, stealing another sloppy, fire-filled kiss. Nick raised his legs and slung them almost casually over Julian's back, successfully trapping him in place. Running a hand through Nick's already mussed hair, Julian fumbled with the button on Nick's jeans and finally got them halfway down Nick's hips before he had to shift positions.
Nick yelped and laughed as Julian rocked on his heels and fell backwards on the bed, Nick atop him. "Undress," he murmured, "for me."
This made Nick pause. He had never done anything like that for someone - it was usually a "you take off my pants I'll take off yours" type of deal. And if he had undressed himself, it was never with someone watching him, never this close.
Julian saw his apprehension and grinned. "The job's already half done," he remarked, his eyes drifting over Nick's bare chest.
Blushing slightly, Nick began to wriggle out of his jeans when Julian put a hand on his stomach. "No..."
Nick raised an eyebrow.
"...Slowly."
So he did it slowly, just like Julian asked, the heat in his face intensifying. It wasn't humiliating, it was intimate. It made him yearn harder to be touching Julian instead of himself.
Nick rose away from Julian and slid off the bed. Julian was propped against the footboard, his knees up and his clothes slightly disarrayed. He had never looked sexier in his life. Nick, his eyes locked with Julian's, lips curved in a coy smile, slipped his jeans down his legs inch by inch, his hands deliberate and shaking just slightly. When he stepped out of them and kicked them away, Julian snickered and whistled in approval. Nick hooked his thumbs beneath the waistband of his briefs and started to rid himself of them, his chest tightening. Now came the really important part... in just a few seconds, he'd be naked as the day he was born in front of the man he loved.
The briefs dropped to the floor, as did Nick's gaze. He waited for the verdict.
"Christ..." Julian breathed. Nick's heart nearly burst with Julian's next words. "You're the most beautiful man I've ever seen."
Julian wasn't a drippy, sentimental man at all. Words like those rarely ever left his mouth, unless he was drunk as hell. And even then, it was a rare occasion. Nick couldn't tell how long he stood in front of Julian, his pale body completely bare, but he wasn't ashamed anymore.
That was great and all, he reasoned, but he wanted to see *Julian.* He looked up and smirked at the dark-eyed boy. "Your turn."
Julian looked surprised that the tables had been turned, but the surprise quickly turned scheming. He rose from the bed and ran his hands over Nick's body, then stepped away and turned so his back was to Nick, who sat on the bed and rested on the pillows, watching Julian with curious, lustful blue eyes. The darker-haired man slowly and seductively raised his shirt over his head. He tossed it back at Nick, who caught it with a laugh, holding it in his hands for a second and drinking in the smell of him. A musk of sweat, cologne, leather, cigarettes, shampoo... Nick couldn’t pinpoint it all, but it made his head light with love.
Nick glanced up just in time to see Julian’s baggy jeans go, too. His butt was the cutest thing. Nick bit back a laugh, then finally let it go when he noticed Julian’s boxers – skiing penguins.
Julian whirled around, a little miffed at the dramatic moment being broken. “What’s funny?” he demanded, pouting like a true diva.
“Your... ah...” Nick pointed to Julian’s underwear. “I like it. Very... sophisticated.”
“Shut up.” Julian narrowed his eyes, barely able to keep the grin off his face. He jumped onto the bed, jostling Nick, and sprawled out. His boxers were still on, and his dark eyes were beckoning.
Nick kneeled above Julian, and leaned down to plant a trail of kisses down his chest. Julian squirmed a little, raising his arms above his head. Grinning wickedly, tired of all the waiting, Nick reached down and slid Julian’s boxers off down his legs. He dropped them on the floor and then blinked once, twice, and a third time. Julian… well… Let’s just say he was quite well endowed.
Nick had little time to admire, for Julian reached up and pulled him into an impatient kiss. Their bare bodies touched and Nick moaned, and this obviously fueled Julian – he broke the kiss and frantically fumbled around under a pile of books for something.
“Uh… Jules?”
“Hold on… I know it’s here some – ah!” Julian yanked his hand back, and in it he clutched a condom.
“Christ, you’re REALLY prepared.” Nick blinked.
“Well, yeah. Never know when moments like this might occur!” And the conversation ended there as Nick grabbed the condom from Julian, tore it open, tossed the wrapper away and unrolled it onto Julian’s “endowment.” (AN: I’m having a little trouble talking about the boys’… well… endowments, because penis is such a hilarious word and totally messes me up, and “manhood” makes me feel so cheap! AAHH!!)
Julian stroked the back of Nick’s thighs softly and he spread them, his stomach starting to do turns as he realized how fast everything was moving. It would be over soon. Nick would have nothing but memories (and a sore ass), and Julian would have nothing but –
“CHRIST!” Nick yelped, squirming as Julian started to enter him. (AN: Another rather amusing phrase…) “You coulda given me a little warning!”
Julian grinned, his eyes dark and half-lidded with pleasure. “More fun this way.” And then he slipped himself all the way in, and Nick closed his eyes tightly. It was probably the weirdest sensation he’d ever experienced, not to mention it hurt. He shifted a little, and Julian moaned. Nick grinned, satisfied with this new power he had over the dark- haired singer… He moved his hips back and forth a little and Julian’s grip on him tightened. That was when it started to feel more familiar, and the pain took the backseat to reluctant pleasure.
Julian lifted his hips to meet with Nick’s, and the two of them had to work a little before they found a rhythm. When they matched in movement finally, though, it was all Nick could do to keep from screaming. If this was what sex felt like with Julian, then he – no. Nick couldn’t think about it. Instead he pushed everything away and focused on finding new ways to make the boy beneath him squirm and whine with gratification.
Julian’s thrusts started out smooth and easy, but started to speed up and grow harsher as his breath came in shorter gasps. Nick could feel the tingle starting at the base of his feet, the blood speeding up in his veins as the tingle moved farther and got stronger.
“Holy shit, Jules…”
Julian moaned loudly in reply, his hands roaming everywhere they could reach on Nick’s body. And suddenly the tingle became a rush as Julian hit one spot, a perfect spot, and Nick did scream (as quietly as he could).
They both laughed breathlessly and kept moving in sync, Julian pushing up harder and Nick bearing down more urgently. Julian’s face was flushed and taut, and Nick was sure he’d have bruises on his hips from where he was being clutched. He didn’t mind – it was incredible, unbelievable. Nick would have done anything to keep it forever. He knew it had to end, and end it did – in a wash of powerful pleasure that took Nick’s breath away and made his heart skip a beat. He arched his back hard, lights dancing behind his tightly shut eyes, and he clung to Julian as if his life would slip away. Julian let loose a long moan, tortured and slow, and it tapered off into a satisfied breath.
They didn’t move for a moment, and Nick was glad for that. He wanted to memorize every single sensation: every breath of air, every tiny moan Julian made, and every ounce of his strength draining from him, being replaced by sated warmth.
Julian broke the moment first, reaching off the bed and picking up a crumpled shirt. He wiped off his chest, then tossed it away and reached up to gently brush away the hair from Nick’s eyes. He hesitated, as if he didn’t know what to say, his cool fingertips resting on Nick’s heated cheek.
“I love you.”
Julian started a little, his dark eyes widening. Nick’s heart dropped. What the hell had possessed him to say something like THAT?! Oh, Christ. But it had felt good. And it was true. The truest thing he had spoken in… God only knew how long.
Julian’s mouth opened, then closed, and Nick smiled brokenly. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to. It just –“
“I love you too,” Julian said quickly, putting a finger to Nick’s lips to quiet him. “I’ve always loved you. I always will.”
“That’s awfully sentimental.”
“But it’s the truth.”
Nick wanted to say, “You don’t know that,” but he didn’t want to ruin the perfection of it all with his stupid cynicism. He had heard Julian say the words that he dreamed of for an eternity, and that was all he needed. He lay down on Julian’s damp chest, and felt the other boy’s arms wrap around him protectively. Julian lifted his hips and pulled the covers up over them, kissing the top of Nick’s head, then sighing softly and closing his eyes.
Julian fell asleep first. Nick’s broken heart was beating too hard for him to drift into the soft, sated sleep that beckoned him.
- - - - - -
When Julian awoke, the covers had been tucked neatly around him. The bed was empty except for him. The apartment was silent.
It took him a minute to remember what had happened last night, but when it all came back in a joyous, passionate rush, Julian jumped out of bed and yanked on a pair of boxers. He stumbled into the kitchen. It was empty. He checked the sound room – empty too. The bathroom was empty. Albert’s bedroom was empty, devoid even of Albert himself, who was usually still sleeping now. The apartment was dead, and Julian was bursting with need.
He trotted back into the kitchen, ready to attempt breakfast, when he noticed a slip of paper taped on the fridge. It was folded in half, and his name was scrawled on it, surrounded by little hearts. It was Nick’s messy, boyish writing.
Julian excitedly yanked the paper off and unfolded it. Something tumbled to the floor, and Julian dropped to his knees to pick it up. It was Nick’s silver ring – the one he wore on his ring finger. He never told anyone why he wore it, and he never took it off. Julian blinked, then slowly turned to the note.
Jules – That ring symbolizes unity with the one you love. I told myself I’d never have any need to take it off. I finally do, and it’s made me the happiest man on earth. I love you, Julian. I’m sorry I had to do this. I’m sorry I had to be so melodramatic about it. And I’m sorry for taking you and then dropping you like this. I’ll miss you.