THEx7thxSIN
Sanity

As a pessimist, I would have my ears filled with the deafening drum beats or old guitar tunes of a broken hearted traveler bringing truth to the world, and the singing of raging anger of an equal soul. I want to hear the gentle clattering beat of the commiserating rain like the little drummer boy in the Christmas carol. All the lonesome cries, the howls of tormenting memories and the unnerving laughter will contemplate my ears with quieting insanity. My eyes will stare at blindly dark colors: the mesmerizing endless blue of the randomly white sparkled night sky, the sweet gazing gray from my lover’s eyes and the crystal green waves of the sea dancing with the nightly breeze. And I will have black. The blackened burden left from the dead fire and a lonesome shadow lost in the mist of it’s own darkness. Let taste and smell unify to empower the fierce senses. Let the scent of a dying rose and my salty tears consolidate to purify my soul with peace. Hand me the smell of the ocean breeze and the sweet born smell of hope in the offspring. But I refuse the scent of humiliating spit from an arrogant towards an innocent, or the irritating repulsive smell of green bills, for they remind me of the burning liquor I once pursued as an escape. And the sense of touch - last of all but most intense of all. I wish for the caressing kiss of the gentle ocean wind on my cheeks and the smooth porcelain face of a sculpted angel. I welcome the burning pain from within and extinguish the forbidden weakness in my veins. I want inner strength of a forgiving mind and feel the muscles shaping a forgotten smile. Wings that lift the bit of light within and my lover’s trusting arms keeping insanity from forthcoming.

My Cage, My Doom

Shake my cage and leave me free let be the bird I was meant to be The Lord of Lies and Pressure cut a thin linning in my veins. The sun is hiding from the golden glints my eyes would touch. And then it rains, the tapping rain like little drummer boys playng on a cold, faded, dazzling day. While they play, my old companion, Darkness, and I laugh. It's the tender laugh of an old tattered memory poisoning the wounds. The poison is filling my lungs and closing me upon the broken exit. And I drown, And I smile, for every smile they've pushed upon me. My soul, My wings are bleeding and fair it's not. And I alone rot in the shadows. But before insanity catches up to me, Before my lungs are full, Before my wings bleed to death, I would like to smell the fresh freedom, and taste the glints of dawn. So please, Shake my cage and leave me free let me be the bird I was meant to be.

Despondency

And it sinks... Deep into the foreign regions of my mind A taste so pure yet so vile It can clease the memories but not the soul... And it burns... The burning rage of liquor soothing my veins A feeling like relief yet ordeal It can cure the pain but it's only transient And I cry... Longing for an exit from this labyrinth A hope so pleasing, yet so vague It can tame my fear but has only awoken it. And I fall... Deep into the abyss of my derision A darkness so cold, yet languor It eradicates the memories but brings me to my despondency.

The Painting

The face isn’t a face but a shadow lost in the mist of it’s own darkness Walking side by side with the Demon of Pain and Mournfulness. All the lies and cruel flesh of memories run embroidered in her veins. The soul of fear crawls through her, Though at night the fear she tames. Until it breaks lose again and attacks a fresh new day. And she can’t understand why life treats her this way. A tear is born in her eye, lives down her cheek, and dies on her lips. That tear lives the time of her sorrow back into memory clips. Roaming her mind through the streets of time. She stands alone accompanied by the world. The angry world that wouldn’t accept her as she was. Her eyes are so versatile, they’re able to see the world and escape to a better one. Hiding her dispirited self and in denial. Wondering if she belongs? And if she does Wondering how? But beyond all those cloudy thoughts she walks with her head erect. To her bliss and completely direct. The world will shine upon her one day, She’ll walk leagues to find the path without fail and to this task she will prevail. This painting has yet to become what it was meant to be. The need to struggle and accomplish the unfinished portrait of me.

Treachery

You infected the crimson pond with poison, It was my blood. You shred the morning rays of the painted sun, It was my hope. You spat arrogantly into the salty rivers, They were my tears. You thrust a spear into a hollow mold, It was my heart. But then i burned the devil's visions, They were in your eyes. And embroidered pain into a filthy cloth, It was your skin I cut a crease with a tear stained glass, Across your throat I stepped upon a rotting carcass, It was your own.

Your Disgrace

Upon the moonless sky Roaming the deepest alleys I search to avenge upon you And when I find you I'll make you pay for everyday you stabbed your worthless words And I bled. When I find you i'll make you pay for all the pain for all the tears you imposed upon me And when I find you May God have mercy Upon your soul Because then you'll lie and see the Night give birth to a new dawn for the last time. the last moment. The last lie THe last tear you'll ever shed And with the sweetest glance I'll look upon your rotting soul And laugh at your disgrace.