Some may say that I have no right to speak
But I am here and you are not.
I know how it is to feel so alone,
To feel so unloved and unworthy.
I couldn't tell you how many times I've been there.
But it is no ones fault but your own.
You alone created a world of hate
And you placed yourself in it.
What was going through your mind
No one will ever know.
A mystery unsolved for many
That both knew you well and those who didn't.
All of us will have to live with that forever.
Wondering if there was anything we could of done,
Or shouldn't have done,
If there was anything we could have said to help you.
Your memory will live on in the hearts of many
More than you could have ever imagined.
I hope you found the peace you were seeking.
I do not hate you for what you have done.
I do not pity you or feel sorry.
It was your decision and you made it.
But things would have gotten better with time.
There's nothing else I can say but
Good-bye.
(Dedicated to White Mike)
Numerous nightmares about the day we would meet.
Suspicions of everyone that had the same name,
Or was pregnant and walking without a guy next to her.
Who would have thought, today would be the day?
She was right in front of me.
We were talking like we had been friends for years.
Then as I looked at the computer screen,
I read her name and her address.
I didnt want to belive it was her.
I wasn't ready to look into this womans eyes.
I watched her walk out the door and get into her car.
Her little red car, that I had seen once before.
In the back window was a little yellow sticker
"Baby on board"
It was her. My gut won't let me believe anything different.
She had no idea who I was.
Shes at home now, happy with her baby and watching movies.
And I am here.
Feeling numb inside with tears burning at my eyes
Everything I thought to be true is really nothing at all.
Another illusion I created in my mind,
Another lie I truly believed in,
Another story soon to be told.
Believing is so hard for me to do these days.
Putting my trust into something is nearly impossible.
Once I do,
I eagerly await the day for truth to show,
For my world to be turned upside down.
And the people around me to start in with the pity.
Pity seems to keep me alive sometimes.
It feels as if I need it more than love.
Love is fake!
Love belongs in fairy tales!
That doesn't happen to someone like me.
I sure fall in love fast and hard,
But I wonder if anyone has felt that way for me.
It's a good thing I am one of the unique,
If there were more like me in
This world would just be pathetic and sad.
