&
Physical
Pain
How it hurts to smile.
How you try to fit in but you can't.
How you hurt yourself on the outside to
try to kill the thing on the inside.
**Girl, Interrupted
releasing all the built up emotions that won't seem to cry out of my eyes.
Hoping and praying that this time it'll be deep enough.
That maybe, this time
that thing inside me will die,
so I won't have to pretend.
It hurts me so mush to play Barbie,
all smiley and pretty on the outside,
but on the inside feeling so incredibly hollow.
Seeing blood seep out of my flesh,
feeling a stinging sensation that doesn't seem to hurt,
it lets me know I am alive,
that I'm not empty inside.
The ones who inflict pain on themselves
So that the aching in their heart will go away.
The ones who will take a shiny, sharp razor blade
And drag it across their skin.
The ones who can't help but smile
When they feel their flesh being split open,
Or when they see the blood begin to surround the blade
That is firmly presses into their skin.
Do they live in fear?
Fear of whatever it is that causes them to do this?
Or do they have no fears?
Because they think that this can solve anything.
Or do they just hope....
That one day,
They will have the courage to press harder,
And feel the pain of life greater than ever before
For the last time?
Let me be the first to say I'm not perfect in anyway.
My past has done things to me
that cannot be seen with human eyes.
I have scars on my body
as well as my heart
and I'm not sure if they'll ever disappear.
What will happen to me?
Could I ever get the old me back?
Would I really want her back?
I feel myself driving out of control.
I've been high in the sky
but whatever goes up,
must someday come down
and I feel myself
starting to fall down,
and I'm afraid I may just break this time.
