I know I can hear them!
All the sacrifices made for nothing
Don't show, can't believe it.
Want to show that I'm good for something
I can't you won't let me
All your artificial words won't heal me
Because you can't accept me.
**Staind- A Flat
I am trapped in their world.
I am their prisoner.
I am their slave.
I have no control over my existence.
I watch the world around me
Wishing I could leave this place.
Just when I think I have the courage.
I am told I won't survive.
They whisper sweet nothings all day long
As I sit alone crying.
I can't think for myself.
I'm giving up trying.
I can't remember if I ever was in control
Or how I let these demons in.
I find myself alone,
wanting to cry,
feeling the need to release.
To just give into those demons.
That are tearing me apart.
I'm really tired of this feeling.
My heart is pounding through my chest.
My nose is starting to run.
Breathing is hard to do.
I can't sit still.
I can't stop thinking.
I can't express my emotions.
My anger, hurt, confusion.
My pain.
My broken heart that has shattered,
And with it all my dreams and hopes.
I can't talk to my angels,
I am told they are not real.
I can't listen to my conscience,
Because I don't know if these thoughts are mine,
Or if they are my demons speaking.
Sleep all morning and afternoon.
Why?
Because in my dreams there is peace.
Even from the bad nightmares
I will awake and they will be gone.
No harm can be done to me.
The voices in my head stop talking,
My body is asleep and feels no pain,
Sleep is my medicine.
But before I fall asleep
Into a world far from reality
I am forced to lay there alone,
With all those voices
Telling me how fucked up I am,
And I remember examples to prove
All their words to be true.
Causing blood to fill me up.
Releasing emotions I had bottled away.
They are tapping their fingers on my brain.
Making sure it doesn't stop torturing me
With memories of how things used to be.
Their laughter,
High pitched, low pitched,
A million laughs driving me insane.
A hundred voices repeating chants.
"You're worthless, you're a fool, you can't change."
"We own you, we control you, you can't escape."
Everyone hates you, they laugh at you."
I can't tell the difference between
What is my thoughts,
And what the demons are saying.
Disappearing to a place far from reality.
I sit amongst my enemies
As they invade my thoughts,
Confusing my every decision.
I scream but all that is heard is laughter
