The very moment she walked through the doors
My stomach turned upside down and inside out.
I walked over and began talking to her.
Even though I shouldn't have,
I asked about it.
That question that has been on my mind everyday for the past 9 months.
"Is it his?"
I was expecting the answer she gave,
But i was not prepared for it.
I told her I was sorry and ran out of her view.
I began to cry.
She walked out the door and I ran to the bathroom
As my stomach came out through my mouth.
you dont have to tell me.
I had a dream this would happen,
that you would have met someone
and that she would come to be a part of the things I always wanted.
Now it's like you want to be my friend.
I'm not sure I can sit and watch you go through things I have nothing to do with.
I don't know if I woll allow this to hurt me,
allow you to effect me the way you have before.
But this is completely new,
nothing in this situation is the same.
I fear you are just feeling alone and scared,
amd wanting a familair soul to talk to.
I want to be your friend and listen
but i am not the friend you used to know.
Time has moved on and so have I.
I am stronger in everyway.
No longer do I let the demons rule.
But my heart does still beat
and it holds a place for you.
If you hurt then I will too.
I could easily leave the pain
and let you deal with this alone
with your new girlfriend and your soon to be child.
It haunts me every wakened hour.
It beats me with so much force
That I fall to the floor in tears.
The pain that I am feeling
Replaces all the happiness I once had,
Leaving me alone and bitter
And hating everything about you
And everything that reminds me of you.
I can't go one hour without a memory
Placing my mind in torment
Reliving the moments in time
When I actually believed I was happy.
It turns my stomach and squeezes out life.
The life I had before you has vanished
And I fear nothing will ever be the same.
Leave me be alone in peace,
Can't you see I don't need you anymore?
It's kept us both down for too long.
Nothing will work no matter how hard we try,
It just wasn't meant to be.
Whatever was has already happened.
Can I let go of you if you are still grasping?
It's not fair to me or to you
To keep the other from moving on.
I'll say no good-byes,
And give no explanation,
If you don't understand
Then you never really understood me.
Let go of me and I will you.
We'll go our seperate ways
Like failed lovers do.
In the presence of you
And all I need,
You can give,
I just have to ask.
For a kiss,
For an embrace,
In the morning I will remember,
But blame it on the bottle.
Things may be akward
But it's worth what I want.
It's worth your touch,
Your kiss,
It helps make the lonely me
Not so lonely tonight.
