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For my Freshmen year, I had an awesome RA, the best RA in the world. I wish he was with my all four years. His name was Arnold Balmer, ya RA Arnold Balmer. A big tall skinny black guy, he talked exactly like Chris Rock, and we loved him becuz he didn't give a crap about us. (Starts talking like Chris Rock) I'm your RA. Residence Assistant. I'm not the resident conselor, I'm not the resident mother. I don't need to know everything. Your friend is throwing up in the bathroom, I don't need to know. Everyone throws up, hes lucky he made it to the bathroom. Just give him a tic-tac and a pillow and leave him alone. LEAVE HIM ALONE! I don't need to know if your suite-mate is smokin crack. I don't need to know. Just tell him to exhale through an empty toilet paper roll stuffed with dryer sheets. Make it smell like the mountain spring fresh of the crack. I don't need to know. I don't need to know if you have a 40 ounce beer keg, playin beer cup (didnt really understand some of the words) got some zoomy-zoomy going on, I don't need to know becuz I don't care. Your girlfriend broke up with you, I don't care. Roommates a pain in the ass, I don't care. Made a booty call at four in the morning and shes got a friend, I CARE! REMEMBER ME! |
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