Dead Cell By Amanda
	Title: Dead Cell Author: Amanda Rating: R Content: Strong language, slash, incest Characters: Matt and Jeff Hardy Spoilers: None Summary: Jeff has feelings for Matt, but can he admit those feelings? Does Matt feel the same? Disclaimer: I don’t own Matt or Jeff. I don’t mean to imply anything about either one of them. I do own this story so please don’t steal it. The title is also shared with a song by Papa Roach. NOTE: I wrote this while in a deep depression. I was having some problems with the one person that I love very much. You know who you are. I’ve been watching him for so long. He can’t even begin to imagine what I’m feeling right now. He’s noticed I’ve been depressed and shady these past few months, but he doesn’t know why. He thinks it’s simply a phase, a little obstacle in my pathway to happiness. He wants me to be happy, yet he doesn’t realize what my happiness will cost him. I am 25 years old, I’m madly in love with someone who thinks that I’m just a kid. He’s known me my whole life and that’s all he can say about me? A kid? I stopped being a kid the day that I developed a crush on him. I stopped being a kid when I was fifteen years old. Ohh I quiver when I imagine the looks on peoples faces if they knew the things going through my head right now. If they only knew that I was in love with another man, let alone this man, their faces would contort in disgust. I find it rather humorous, watching these unnamed demons thinking they know and understand those things which I believe is incomprehensive for any of mankind. Sitting in the dark, yes this is my solstice. Waiting for him to return, that is my mission. I’ve waited 10 fucking years to tell him this! Ten god damn years! Could you wait that long to touch that one forbidden person that you’d give up your everlasting soul for? Could you?!? I didn’t think so. He’s been away for so damn long, even though he’s been right beside me. I want him more than he knows, and I’ll have him… at any cost. Success with him tonight is my only mother fucking option, failure’s not. I know I’m just a ‘kid’ with a lot of pent up rage and anger and a fire that burns in me 24/7, but there’s a way to straiten all of this out. One kiss from him, one damn acknowledgement from him. I want him to see me as a man, not as a kid. My bloodshot eyes snap from the floor finding their resting place on the hotel door. Ohh here he is! Look at him. Isn’t he perfect? Of course he is! What? What is that you say? No one’s perfect? HA! That’s funny, you should consider being a comedian. He is perfect god damn it! Like a cat hidden amongst the tall grass, I lay low waiting for my moment to stalk, and to go in for the kill. My moment has arrived. “Jeff, you here?” Came his voice seeping into my ears like violins in a grand symphony orchestra. I stood my ground like a cat on the prowl, waiting in the weeds to attack my next victim of prey. “I’m in here Matt.” I called back in reply. No! Not again! My own body and mind had betrayed me. Suddenly my anger was gone, right when I needed it the most to drive me to do what I knew I needed to do. It was gone! No, come back god dammit! Come back! “Jeffy, you okay? What are you doin sittin in the dark like that?” He showered me with a slew of questions, none of which I could answer with a response that wouldn’t freak him out. “Jeff, talk to me.” His voice grew urgent as he quickly crossed the room and knealt down in front of me, balancing himself by placing a hand on my knee. “I can’t talk to you. You wouldn’t understand.” I whispered, a tear making its way to my green eyes. One of his gentle hands reached up and brushed my hair from my face. A soft smile graced his lips, “Try me.” He whispered sitting back. Could I do this? Do you have the balls to tell him? I think so, I think I can do this. I have to do this. If I don’t I’m gonna lose my mind. I wiped my tear stricken cheeks with the palm of my hand and then looked to Matt. I didn’t have the words to explain this to him. I couldn’t tell my blood brother that I was madly in love with him. My conscience screamed commands at me, confusing me even more. Do something Hardy! Tell him! Don’t tell him! Write it down if you cant say it! Kiss him! Oh God! I didn’t take time to consider anything. I let my emotions get in the way and in one split second I put everything on the line. I leapt forward pressing my lips against his, shoving him backwards on the floor. My body pressed against his and my heart raced a mile a minute. It took me a moment to understand, but when I did I was happy. He didn’t resist me. Instead his hands pressed against the back of my head deepening the kiss. I was the happiest man alive at that moment. Finally our lips parted after exploring such forbidden territory. Our eyes locked and our fingers interlaced at our sides. “Wow, Jeff I--.” He began, but paused. He was unsure of what to say and that was understandable seeing as he was just kissed by his baby brother. He couldn’t say he didn’t like the kiss, but he wasn’t ready to admit that he did. “Jeff… I’m not ready for this… not yet, not now.” Matt got up and left the room quickly and leaving yet again. Jeff’s heart melted and sank but he knew that if he kept working toward he wanted, maybe he would realize his dream… being the love of his brothers life. The End