Something More By Lady Boss
	Title: Something More Rating: PG (Implied M/M) Author: Lady Boss E-Mail: pikachu_524@yahoo.com >mailto:pikachu_524@yahoo.com> Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be, but I’m buying those Mega Million tickets so they can be Distribution: Kriket’s, The Boss’s Office, anywhere else, let me know where and ask nicely Summary: Sequel to “Letting Go” Spoilers: None really though brief mention of 9/12/02 Smackdown. Songs mentioned: “It’s Been a While” - Stained, “Something More” - Train (both are used without knowledge or permission) A cool late summer breeze blew around him on the terrace, but Mark barely felt it as he stood out on the balcony of the hotel room where the SmackDown roster had gathered after the ‘commitment ceremony’. Everyone was still pretty riled up over what Eric and his two Island goons had done, but that dissolved after everyone got settled down in the room and got a couple beers in them. But the events of that evening were far from Mark’s mind as he recalled the talk he had with Sara earlier, when she had dropped the bomb about her false alarm when he had begun to talk to her about baby names. In the span of a week, he had gone from total elation to utter depression. Here he was about to give up his career and everything so he could be the father he couldn’t be to his older children and it was all for nothing. Then there was the one important thing he had given up. A burst of laughter made him look over his shoulder. Surrounded by most of the cruiserweights, he watched as Adam stood and laughed while Rey did an impersonation of Kurt’s promo earlier that evening. It had been the longest week in Mark’s life as he remembered the hurt on Adam’s face when he told him they were over, not to mention his missing the easy sort of way he and Adam would just hang out in their hotel room when the shows were over. There would be times when sex didn’t even come into the picture; just being with Adam was enough. But now because of a dashed dream, he didn’t even have that anymore. Sighing he turned his attention to the Minneapolis skyline. Oh well, he thought. I made my bed; I may as well lie in it. Alone. “Go talk to him.” Adam looked at Shannon Moore. “What?” Shannon pointed his soda bottle toward the balcony door. “Go talk to Mark.” Adam looked over his shoulder and saw the familiar silhouette out on the balcony. It was as much a surprise to him as everyone else when it came out that Sara’s pregnancy had been a false alarm, even though the writers were still going to go with it to keep the momentum between Mark and Brock going. Noticing his hunched stance, Adam knew it had to be tearing Mark up over losing this chance to be a father, but Sara’s words came back to his head; “Let him go. Let Mark and me have the life that I know we want.” And he had done what she asked; rooming with some of the cruiserweights and even spending an eventful night with a hung over Kurt, all because he loved Mark enough to let him go. “Adam?” He looked back at Shannon. “What?” Shannon sighed. “Go talk to him. You know you want to.” Adam admitted he did, but the promise he had made to not only Sara but to himself kept him where he stood. Besides, he didn’t want to make Mark feel worse than he already was. He didn’t know how long he was outside and he didn’t care. He wanted to leave, but his feet wouldn’t let him. He wanted another beer, the one he had been nursing going flat and stale on him, but he didn’t feel like making the effort to head back inside to get a fresh one. He wanted to be with Adam, but he saw no point in reopening that wound. Even though he tried to look interested in whatever Billy Kidman was saying, Adam’s eyes kept straying out toward the balcony where Mark stood. Knowing he was going to hate himself for setting himself up like this, he excused himself and headed for the cooler where he grabbed a beer and headed outside. Damn he hated the song playing on the stereo right now. He remembered listening to that song over and over while he was over at Raw after the draft, every word reminding him of Adam. But now, the lyrics he heard seemed to be mocking him. It's been awhile, since I could Hold my head high It's been awhile since I first saw you It's been a while since I could stand On my own two feet again It's been awhile since I could call you Another sip from the flat beer made his disposition worse as the song progressed. It's been awhile since I could Look at myself straight It's been awhile since I said I'm sorry It's been awhile since I've seen the way the candles light your face But I can still remember Just the way you taste And he could. He could remember how Adam had felt and tasted… He shook his head. Damn fool, he cursed himself. It’s only been a week. It’s not like you’ve never been apart before. But it was like he’d never get Adam back again. “Want a fresh beer?” He turned to see Adam standing in the balcony doorway, the backlight from the room making him appear more angelic than he had the first time they met. “I thought you might like one,” he watched Adam walk towards him, “seeing how you’ve been out here since you grabbed your first about a couple hours ago.” “A couple hours huh? I’ve been out here that long?” “Yeah.” Adam handed him the bottle, which Mark took, setting the old one on the ledge. Adam watched Mark open the new bottle, the smell of hops and other ingredients filling the late night air and wondered how he should approach the subject of Sara and the non-baby… “I heard about the false alarm.” Adam dived in, hoping he didn’t set Mark off. “I figured you would’ve.” “I’m sorry.” “What for?” Mark looked at him. “It happens. False alarms happen all the time.” “I know but you were looking so forward to it.” “I still am.” Mark looked ahead of him, rolling the bottle between his hands. “It’s not like Sara’s barren or anything. Okay maybe this time we didn’t get lucky but next month, who knows?” “Nice to see you’re being so optimistic.” “I learned it from this man I loved for four years.” Mark said softly. “A man I still love.” Adam sighed. “Mark…” “I know Sara asked you to stay away from me.” He looked at Adam. “I’m still surprised when she told me she knew about us.” “You’re not the only one.” Mark chuckled. “Guess I should quit dreaming about you when I’m with her.” “Probably wouldn’t hurt.” Adam replied. They fell into a familiar silence kind of intimate silence longtime lovers had with each other that spoke volumes without a sound being made. “So you’re still going to try for a baby?” “Yeah, but not the way other couple do with thermometers, schedules and shit like that. If it happens, it happens.” “So did Sara warn you away from me?” Adam asked. “No. I explained how things were between us and I think she understands when I’m home, I’m with her and when I’m on the road I’m with you.” “I’m jealous of her.” “Why’s that?” “I guess for all the same reasons mistresses get jealous of their lover’s wives; you and Sara can be seen in public together, where we have to hide for our career’s sake. She gets to be with you for holidays and other things, while I’m home alone. And she can give you kids when…well, unless I have some major surgery, I don’t think it’s possible for me to.” “If you could, would you have my kid?” “The truth?” Mark nodded. “Yeah, I would. If only to have a little piece of you with me when we can’t be together.” “You know you have my heart.” “I know, but it’s different. If anything happened to you, Sara’ll have a child to remind her of you and what will I have but memories I can’t share with anyone?” “I ain’t planning on dying anytime soon.” Mark cracked. “Though I’m sure if Heyman and Lesner have their way…” Adam chuckled then sighed. “I know.” “And wouldn’t the memories be enough?” “I guess they’ll have to be, won’t they?” Another silence. “I’m sorry about this.” Mark spoke. “I hate what my marriage has done to you.” “Don’t worry about it.” “I do worry.” Mark reached out and took Adam’s hand. “I can’t explain it but it’s like you and Sara are the male and female halves of the perfect person for me. But here I am, having my cake and eating it too and I haven’t thought about what it’s doing to either of you. Sara’s hurt because I’m cheating on her with another man, and you’re hurt because I’ve treated you like some dirty little secret.” Adam wanted to pull his hand back but he let it stay in the warmth of Mark’s. “And you’re hurt because you’re in the middle of it and you have to live with your decision.” He said. “No, I’m not the only one who has to live with it. I choose you, Sara gets hurt and wonders what she did wrong and it was nothing she did. I choose her, you feel like all you were to me was some piece of ass on the side when you’re more than that to me.” “I guess there’s no easy answer to this situation is there?” “Guess not.” “So what happens now? Do you and I end things once and for all, or do we stay together and hurt Sara in the process?” Mark stared out at the scenery. “I wish I could give you the answer to that. I know I sound like some greedy bastard, but I don’t want to lose either of you.” “But you know it’s all going to come down to a choice don’t you? You know you’re going to have to choose between us.” Mark nodded. “Are you ready to live with the decision when it comes to that?” “I like to think I am, but I’m not sure. As I said I don’t want to lose either of you.” “You may not have a choice in the matter.” “I know.” “So where is Sara right now?” Adam asked. “Hanging with some girlfriends of hers from school who live here.” “You rooming together?” Mark looked at Adam and saw the familiar mischievous smirk he fell in love with four years ago on Adam’s face. “Yeah.” “Pity.” “Yeah, a real pity.” A beat. “What were you thinking?” “I thought we could head up to your room and talk some more.” “And is that all you want to do?” “It has been a week.” “I know.” “I don’t think we’ve gone that long since the draft.” “True.” “But she could come back anytime and it’s one thing to know about us, but to actually catch us might not be a good idea.” “No it wouldn’t.” “So what do you think we should do?” Adam asked. “I know what I want to do.” Mark moved so he was behind Adam and wrapped his large tattooed arms around him. “I just want to stand out here and be with you for a while longer.” Adam melted against Mark. “Even if it’s only for tonight?” “Even if it’s only for tonight.” Once again falling into the familiar silence, they both listened as another song wound down from the stereo inside. And someday you will see All the more you want All the more you'll need me All the while I'll be On to something more And all the more you want All the more you'll need me All the while I want something more I want something more I want something More than this But in the Minneapolis night air, close to each other, both of them knew they wanted nothing more than this. Even if it were for a little while.