Title: With Your Ghost
Author: Giselle
Rating: PG
Summary: This is a short angst fic I wrote, set in the time frame of a little while after Cinderbella, without the confession of. The song in italics is Ghost, written by the Indigo Girls.
Disclaimer: Of course I don't own Young Americans and you certainly can't have my Pez collection!
Thanks: A huge thanks goes out to my Jahammer clan!!! Even the silent readers, lol. Thanks so much to E, P, M, Frannie, and Emily for everything! This is for you guys!!!
Feedback: Good!!!   Empty Mailbox: Bad!!!!!

There's a letter on the desktop
That I dug out of a drawer

I never knew that I could miss someone as much as I miss him. If I pick up just one picture, it's like all sense of time is lost and I wake from my sleepless dream after hours of simply sitting there.

The last truce we ever came to
From our adolescent wars

Sometimes we would get into the most pointless arguments...upset at the smallest of things...and at the end of them, I could never remember just why they began in the first place.

As I start to feel the fever
From the warm air through the screen

Now I sit here, in his room, staring at a point that doesn't even exist....waiting for the door to open....waiting for him to come back....mad at me for taking off with his shoes...

It come regular like seasons
Shadowing my dreams

It almost seems pointless to sleep anymore...he's there in my dreams too. Always just far enough away that I can't hear him....can't reach him...but I know it's him.....

Well the Mississippi's mighty
And it starts in Minnesota

One of the hardest parts of being here....is that I never told him...never let him know that I cared so much about him...because I was afraid.

At a place that you could walk across
With five steps down

Every little thing has a starting point, you know? That simple moment when everything is just.....right.

And I guess that's how you started
Like a pin prick to my heart

That's how it was when we first kissed...that one, simple moment that was just...I can't even describe it.

But at this point you rush right through me
And I start to drown

After that, I knew I could never take it back...that kiss...my heart...It wasn't mine to give anymore.

And there's not enough room in this
World for my pain

It's still not mine to give....because he never gave it back.

Signals cross and love gets lost
As time passed make it plain

Every chance that I had....I couldn't...couldn't tell him...and now...

Of all my demon spirits
I need you the most

I never will....

I'm in love with your ghost
I'm in love with your ghost

I don't know how many times I actually practiced telling him...resolved telling him. But every time I'd try I just...froze.

Dark and dangerous like a secret
That was whispered in a hush

And my secret stayed with me...only being told in my sleep.

When I wake the things I dreamt about you
Last night made me blush

He'd catch me daydreaming sometimes...and I could almost swear that he saw right through me. But I'd still wake up...alone....

When you kiss me like a lover
And you sting me like a viper

And that one kiss seemed to last forever...so I waited....

I go follow to the river
Play your memory like the Piper

Forever.....

And I feel it like a sickness
How this love is killing me

It's tearing me apart, you know....knowing that he's gone...that he'll never know the truth...

But I'd walk into the fingers
Of your fire willingly

If he'd asked me about the kiss again....I would have told him. Told him the truth about everything.

Come dance the edge of sanity
I've never been this close

But he never betrayed our friendship...he never asked me again...

In love with your ghost

And now he'll never have the chance to find out...

Unknowing captor
Would never know how much you

What he really meant to me...How much I loved him.

Pierce my spirit
But I can't touch you

Because he's gone...

Can you hear it
A cry to be free

And all I can think about is how I want it all to go away. The hurt, the pain.....the memories.

But I'm forever under
Lock and key
As you pass through me

But they never will...

Now I see your face before me
It could launch a thousand ships

So I dream alone in his room...

Bring your heart back to my island
As the sand beneath me slips

Of being with him again...

As I burn up in your presence
And I know now how it feels

Of watching that crooked, understanding smile that sees right through me...

To be weakened like Achilles
With you always at my heels

And makes me feel...like someone loves me.

And my bitter pill to swallow
Is the silence that I keep

But I never told him...and now I can't...

It poisons me, I can't swim free
The river is too deep

And I feel like it's slowing drowning me...

Though I'm baptized by your touch
I am no worse that most

So I have no other choice...

In love with your ghost

But to leave...

You are
Shadowing my dreams

And never look back...

In love with your ghost
In love with your ghost

~The End~