| Everybody has something to say about themselves and this is where I get to do it Nobody can teach you, nobody can tell you how to be a Transexual it just happens. And by saying it happens I dont mean like catching a cold or the flu its something that is with you your whole life. It takes something to eventually trigger something inside of you. Being a TS is very very lonely. Not in the sense of nobody being around its just in the sense that it is something that you have to deal with and really nobody can help. You can have your Dr's and your specialists advising and helping you along the road but specifically it is yourself who has to find direction and purpose in your being. A tradesman goes through an apprenticeship to have the knowledge and skills to be good at what he does, A football player trains and practices to be good. If they have a problem they go to their teacher or their coach to get advice on how to overcome an obstacle. Being TS has no such thing in place to help them. We stumble through the dark getting it right or getting it wrong. We cant go to school to learn how to be ourselves. Many mistakes are made finding the path and unfortunately many of us dont make it back. I remember an instance of being out one night at a club and just craving the company of others like myself. The nightclub was full but basically I was alone. We spend a lot of time online searching, chatting wandering to find out things for ourselves, Most of the help and advice for us comes from snipetts of information garnered from websites and others like us. The TS community has no formal structure. We exist but yet are very fragmented throughout society and those of us that have made it are like ripples in a pond. They are there for an instant but then are gone. They have made the ultimate step and have the life that they want. They blend into society with normal interaction and no longer spend much time with those that are in stages of development behind them. Personally speaking I think its because they dont want to remember who they were only just who they have become. I even may be guilty of this fact in the future, This I cannot say. Being honest about this, it hurts to be who I am, but it even hurt more before.Not only physically but phsychologically and emotionally. It is a very hard road that I am travelling but with each day I am getting better at just being myself. |