THE HOMELESS

 

                                                 

By William M. Balsamo

 

    The waiting room of the Greyhound bus station in New York is a dark and somber place. There is a waste barrel in the center and seats arranged along the perimeter against the wall. All the wooden benches look like the bleachers of Shea Stadium, but there are no ball fans cheering their team on to victory.

    It is the middle of winter and the room is filled; half of the people cling to plastic bags which contain the sum of their possessions. It is late at night; eleven p.m. to be exact. The people are either asleep or locked into a state of suspended animation with fixed stares looking inward upon shattered lives. They are a segment of the homeless and most of them are harmless, too beaten to be aggressive. They are neither muggers nor pushers; neither connivers nor con-artists. They are the lost ones, the ones who could neither cope nor care. At some point in their life the battle was lost and they offered no resistance. Now they spend their nights in the waiting room of a city bus terminal.

 

    One woman sits and carries on an extended monolog with herself oblivious of her surroundings. There is some invisible ghost from her past which is very present to her in her ongoing fantasy. She has lost control of reality, or the reality she faces is no longer the one we share, but who is to say that it is any less real?

 

    A man enters with a paper cup. He is very self-assured as he goes from one person to another asking for spare change. He sees the woman engaged in her monolog and there is instant recognition. She comes into his consciousness and they speak.

     “Hi there, Betty.”

     “Oh, hi.”

     Whatcha doing here?”

     “Oh, just sitting.”

     “I’m gonna go to church. They got some beds in the basement.”

     “To church. Oh good.”

 

     He leaves. Another woman begins a song. She sings, “If I didn’t care for you, would life be the same?” It is an old vintage song once made popular by the Ink Spots. She is a woman in her late sixties with shaggy, unwashed, once-blond hair. Through her song she reveals she has no teeth. The cadence of her song is mimicry of the original rendition. She gestures with her hands as if wiping away cobwebs from her face. She is remarkably in good voice with a sense of pitch and a sweet tone which might have been trained in her youth. Song over, she opens a brown bag and takes a swig from a bottle, the contents of which are concealed.

     Soon she also begins a monolog and finishes her song, “If I didn’t care for you.” There is a bit of irony to her performance for no one, it seems, really cares much for her. The awareness of this truth brings tears to her eyes.

 

     The room is a circle of Godots, a no exit where hell is not only other people but oneself as well. The group is mixed with men and women forming a menagerie of lives with no present or future, only a past that slowly gets buried into memory.

Their circle signifies infinity, the unending circle of poverty, the circle of perpetual indifference into which they have fallen and which leads to the ninth circle of Dante’s Inferno.

 

    A burly black cop breaks through the circle and enters the waiting room. He has a billy club and a revolver resting in a holster on his right hip.

    “Come on, everyone, show me your tickets. If you don’t have a ticket, go on and get upstairs and get out of here.”

     He tried to act tough, but his face is gentle and shows signs of compassion. He’s just doing his job and would rather leave these people alone. They’re not really bothering anyone. He goes from person to person. A few onlookers produce tickets. The vast majority of them have none. They know what they must do and they get up to leave in an orderly procession. They leave looking like refugees on their way to a distant camp which has no name.

 

    “Come on, get up!”

    He strikes his billy club against the heel of a semi-conscious man drowning in a sea of inebriation.

    “Come on, Joe. Let’s go! Upstairs!”

    The cop knows the man’s name.    

    The man arouses from the abyss of slumber and finds himself in a daze. He too leaves.

     The room becomes eerie and silent – an exodus of homeless people leaving the prison of their captivity to wander through a desert of alien encounters with people who treat them as though they no longer exist.

 

    Once the officer leaves a few moments pass and they slowly return in ones and twos because they really have no where else to go.

    The room slowly fills up again and the evening shift of the homeless replaces some of those that had come earlier. Street vendors, or those homeless who are more entrepreneurial, enter peddling socks and shirts. One man comes in and says, “Does someone want a suitcase?” He has in his hand a used piece of black luggage with a broken handle.

    “Hey, you!”  He says pointing to a man huddled on the waiting bench, “Do you want a nice piece of new luggage?”

    “Yeah, I can use some luggage.”

    The peddler moves over to him and displays the suitcase which has compartments and straps inside it and a double zipper on the outside. It has obviously been stolen.

    “Yeah, I’ll take it.”

    “How much you give me for it?” the peddler asks.

    “How much?”

    “Yeah, man. This is for sale. It ain’t no gift.”

    “I thought you asked me if I wanted it,” the other man says calmly. “I didn’t know you was selling it. I thought you was giving it away.”

    The vendor gets angry.

    “Man, you got a soft head! In life no one gets something for nothing.”

    A comic reprisal but no one laughs. They have heard it all before. A few moments pass. It is now well past midnight. The man with the suitcase leaves and it becomes quiet again. The others all sit and wait for dawn. They sit and wait. They sit and wait.