What Are You Doing?

By Jordan Sovereign

Sally: What are you doing?

Susie: I don't know, what are you doing?

Cue Game Show Music

Bill: Hey Mary, what's goin' on?

Mary: Not much, I saw you at the woodshop yesterday.

Bill: Yeah? Well I chop you at the Chinese laundry!

Mary: No, I mean I saw you - with my eyes.

Bill: What are your eyes made of anyway? Diamonds!?

Mary: No, No, No, I noticed you were at the woodshop yesterday.

Bill: SPY! You are a Russian spy chasing after me. I knew it!

Mary: Ya know what Bill? I can't stand you! You think everything is some kind of

conspiracy against you.

Bill: How did you know that! Spy!

Mary: Goodbye Bill.

Bill: Pulls out a stick of dynamite You will not leave this room!

Mary: Leaves the room as the dynamite explodes

Well, that was delightful.

A man walks by her on the street and she says to him:

Hey, I saw you at the woodshop the other day.

She follows him off the stage.

Mac: Walks on to stage and says: Howdy bos, how's it goin'? Well, I suppose you are

some sort of crazed maniac comin' to keel my hosses!"

Paul: Hey Mac, they ain't goin' to keel none of your hosses, but I will!

Runs away devilishly.


Runs away.

Mac: Aw, shoot, now my hosses are dead, and I been followin' a maniac!

Devil: Well, Well, Well, if it isn't my friend Daniel Webster.

Daniel Webster: Now listen here you devil, I beat you once, isn't that enough for

your satanic deed for the year?

Devil: No, Stupid Idiot!

Daniel: Shut up, meany

Runs away crying.

Devil: What'd I say? Muhahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Joe walks out with Sue.

Joe: What was that all about?

Sue: I shorely don't have an idea.

Joe: Well where were we?

Sue: I think we were smooching, but something tells me we need to slow down.

Joe: What do you mean smooching? I wasn't smooching anything but the hardwood

floor I was putting into this stage.

Sue: But, Joe! I think we are moving too fast!

Joe: What are you talking about? I am right on schedule, did they move the date up or


Sue: No, I don't want to date you.

Joe: Sue, I have had it with you! I know you want to be in the play, but with lines like

that, you'll never be anything

Sue: But I thought I was doing good!

Joe: Yes, but this play is about a man who doesn't know where to go to school, not

about love!

Sue: Well, he loves the school, right?

Joe: Listen Sue, I will now walk away and I expect you to shape up.

Joe walks out.

Sue: Looks his direction and says: Don't walk out on me now! Chases him off the


A Director comes out on stage with a directors' chair and cone, set it up and says:

Director: And Action!

Walks off stage with his items

Jack: Ok, so the sun comes up in the west and goes down in the east, right?

Jill: No, the sun comes up in the east and goes down in the west.

Jack: The wild west?

Jill: Yes, Jack, the wild west.

Jack: Jumps up and down, shouting: Oh boy! With wild horses and Jesse James and cowboys shooting Indians, Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy!

Jesse James: Listen here now horse. The sun goes up in the west and comes down in the east.

Horse: I don't believe you. The sun actually comes up each morning in the eastern portion of our country and the sun goes down in the western portion of the country.

Jesse James: Liar!

Horse: Stupid.

Jesse James: Let's go fight some injuns!

Horse: Yeah, Let's go, I'm sorry I was mean to you.

Johnny: Bang, Bang, Bang, Pow, Pow, Pow!

Mother: Johnny! Supper Time!

Johnny: Aw, mom, I am watching the Jesse James adventure hour!

Mother: Johnny! Supper Time!

Johnny: But Mom!

Mother: Johnny! Supper Time!

Johnny: Ok, Mom, here I come.

Mother: Johnny! Supper Time!

Johnny: Mommy?

Mother Attacks Johnny

Police: Bangs through door. Johnny! Get away from your mother! Stop beating her!

Mother: Oh thank you for saving me, please take my son. I don't feel comfortable here with him.

Johnny: Bang, Bang, Bang, Pow, Pow, Pow!

Young Mozart comes on the stage with a small piano.

Mozart: Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star, how I wonder who you are, up above the world so high, like a diamond in the sky. Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star, how I wonder who you are.

Sally: What Are you doing?

Susie, eating Nuts and Honey Cereal says:

Susie: Nuttin' Honey