What REALLY Happens at School

As I got ready for school, I realized I had left my boner at my friend amy's phone both. When I decided to shit in her
closet, she was gone! So I went to school without the boner.

When I got there, Mrs. berry turned to me and said,"fuck me!"
I said,"eat me," and she dragged me to the Molester's office.

I was so slutty! When the molester turned around, I was surprised to find that she was a horney whore. I started to
piss, but she stopped me and gave me some cunt. I was so wet that I didn't mind when my teacher gave me
detention until 12:30!



Lisa and Bob, Part 1: The Game

One day, Lisa and Bob were outside. They were playing sexual secrets.

"touch me!" yelled Lisa slowly.

"slut!!" said Bob.

Lisa always beat him at sexual secrets. It just wasn't fair! That was win number 4 for this week!

"How about we play a different game?" said Bob hopefully.

Lisa laughed, "You think you can fuck me? I've beaten you 4 times!"

Bob smiled, "But this shitty game is very sexy. It's called the Bob Wins game. poke !" Bob cried as he won.
"finger bang!!"

Lisa said, "That's not skanky!"

"So?" said Bob.




Things That Drive Me Bonkers

I just hate it when . . .

Mom serves cunt for dinner.

My pet bird chews my dick.

mrs.Calehan gets mad at the class for being lesbian.

My best friend robby decides to fucked with somebody else.

I get fucked for something I didn't do.

Dad makes me wear a dooche to school.

My favorite TV show "Hard TV" gets canceled because the station has to broadcast a news conference.

People get drunk and have sex into my bedroom without knocking.




Ten Great New Year's Resolutions



1. I will do my fucking homework as soon as I get home from school.

2. I will always be polite and speak seductivly to my parents.

3. I will stop masterbating in class.

4. I will not throw seamen in class.

5. I will fuck the teacher in class.

6. Every Saturday, I will clean up my room and put all my porno magazine away.

7. I will feed my pet vagina and take him for walks without being reminded.

8. After every meal, I will clear the cups, plates, and rectum right away.

9. I will help my little sister with her sex homework.

10. I will help my little brother with his social studies homework. I will not tell him that Hilter was our first President.




Our Lives Are at Stake


Our lives were at stake and all mr.scott could think about was pussy. I said that in a matter of minutes, us and all the other people on our cruise ship could be dead.

All mr.scott could say was, "Before we die, how about some custard pussy."

maryanne and jack were in the lounge screaming, "FUCK ME!! WE'RE GOING TO DIE!"

The captain was very sexual. People were raping eachother, zebra, moose, and anything else they could find. I jumped onto a very uncomfortable lama.

mr.scott rode with mom in her watercraft. After sailing for two days, we finally reached land. Even if it was a deserted island, it was still land. I helped maryanne build 35 log cabins. We met a monkey and we named it rumple fore-skin. So, everyone lived on that deserted island forever.


Our Class Project

This year our class is doing a special science project. We have a lama that we are taking care of. It is very swetty, and it has black eyes. It lives in a puss in the back of our classroom. We feed it dick and marijuwanna every day, but I think it really wants to eat my porno magazine. Everyone likes our lama. One day the lama got out of its cage and started fucking all around the room. It made a loud slurp. I think it was trying to say, "FUCK ME!!"


The Surprise Garden

One retarded afternoon while their mom and dad were running errands, mrs.Roddenburg and her little brother alex decided to surprise their mom and dad by planting a garden. mrs.Roddenburg went to the garage and got a penis and shovel and started to get the soil ready while alex rode his bike to the market to buy some seeds. mrs.Roddenburg was making horney progress in the back yard. Of course, she first had to fuck up a lot of the lawn so there would be plenty of room for the new garden. Then alex rode into the back yard. His backpack was fuckin! He pulled out marijuwanna seeds, tiny red moring glory seedlings, a can of sunflower seeds, and a big jar of pickled pussy. "OK," said mrs.Roddenburg, "I get the marijuwanna seeds and moring glory seedlings, but what about the other stuff?" "Well, Mom's favorite flowers are sunflowers, and Dad's favorite snack is pickled pussy, so I figured we'd plant a nice pickled pussy tree! ASS RAPE!, why are you looking at me like I'm pleasuring?" asked alex. "Umm… because you don't get stimulating, tall sunflowers from roasted, salted sunflower seeds! And you certainly can't shit a pickled pussy tree!" explained mrs.Roddenburg allways. 5m, Just then their mom and dad came home. They molested in the backyard and helped mrs.Roddenburg and alex plant the marijuwanna seeds and moring glory seedlings. They replanted some of the lawn, too. After they were done, they had a very roudy picnic of sunflower seeds and pickled pussy. Dad said, "What a surprise this was!" Mom agreed, "I never knew our kids had such brown thumbs!"