The 1996 Ski Tours Reports
New Zealand Schmear Tour
Ski Weekend
(AUC/IV) Inter-Varsity Championships-- Mt Buller
What can I say. Too much, all of it embarrassing. My first draft took up three pages of embarrassing anecdotes, lucky for many of you I had to cut it short. The snow wasn’t as good as it normally is but it still kicks Aussie resorts. We also had clear blue skies all week, allowing some amazing scenery footage and great skiing for young and Harry (35). Grandpa Harry is the bungy jumping, snowboarding adrenalin junkie that will forever be remembered for looking more like a heroin junkie.
On the slopes we had a dangerous dash for cash involving an avalanche of bodies and some amazing cheating by Josh and Jasmina. We got Josh back though, we sent him on a wild goose chase, effectively losing the event to Steve, Jasmina (Yazza) and Super Emmo. Meantionable stacks include Louisa going swimming with ski’s on and Nina for her 150ft slide without losing anything until she went into the only trees on coronet peak. Lucky she had a really nice guy to help her out. Oh and Josh who received a prestigious speeding ticket for his attempt to break the sound barrier. Unfortunately he broke a stock and goggles in the process ($130 worth).
Super Emmo of course is that BFG, the “Seven foot fuckwit”, the bear hugg’n, gate- crash’n (literally), party-giant who’s parents were Big-bird and Super Gonzo. His antics are too many to mention. However, he’s the type of guy that would fall off his bed three times before actually falling asleep.
Then there’s Grant who tried to hit on to a heater with his head. When that failed, he was lucky enough to have Bill hit him.
Tex Mex night was dangerous, too much La Da Di Da, too much tequila and well too many burrito’s. Oh, they want their shot glasses back guys...yeah right.
Trivia Night was a mess; after finishing a keg and lot’s of duty free, many of us felt the need to make God consume half a bottle of Vodka straight in revenge. The losing team had to strip and that’s when our Phantom of the Porn, the Bag Man himself Dave S came out (and about). Yeah, but you perverts were taking photo’s like professionals. And not one of you turned away... sick, naughty heathens. Good Job.
Fatalities from consumption of copious amounts of alcohol included: Jason & Jodi (Team spew), Uldis ( the sympathy method of spadework which worked on Amelia {how gullible!!}), James K ( He’s a beginner so it’s all right), Glen & Allissa (Drinking game fatalities). The others kept it quiet.
The spadework was out and about: The guys were pissed off that Nicole, Magda, Michaela and Nicola were all taken; but that didn’t stop them. Josh, Dina, James, Sabina, Jasmina were all very enigmatic. Dan tried hard but failed. Jon H was very unselective, and very unsuccessful in his selections. Stop Press....I hear Nicole is now free, so give her a call guys, Jon already has ( among others).
SHAME on the married couples: Kate-Andrew, Jason-Jodi and Amy-Matt for hogging the showers for hours. SHAME on Nicola H for spending the week with a soft and fluffy sheep shagg’n NZ wally. (No offence intended Nic.). SHAME on the UFO that landed and left us with, inter alia; the portable Chess Rulebook, Ashtray Kleptomaniac, Midnight Siren. Finally, SHAME on most of the girls for having rhyming names.
The Ski Weekend was a successful two-day skiing holiday. We had around 20 people staying at at Jindabyne and skiing at Thredbo. While the snow wasn't that good (again) everyone made the most of the event by doing some extensive training.
Picture it, Mt Buller Victoria July 1996, 500 university students, 30 from Sydney Uni, all with the intent to party and win some races inbetween. It was obvious straight from the start that we had struck terror into the minds and hearts of the Mt Buller nightclubs, when they shut at 1:30am saying we had drunk them dry. Luckily, we had the unrivalled wisdom of first and second year “Law Students”, to reason with the bouncers who wouldn’t let us in on the last night. Thankyou Mt Buller, We’ll be back... NOT!!
HOWEVER..The weeks social events included, Cowboys 'n Indians night, Halloween night, Bondage and Cross-dress night, and Finally the presentation night. The week went well with Josh finding something that looked a little bit like a chic although that is still debatable.. Everyone else was totally faithful all week...... Remember, we promised what happens at IV stays on IV... well I lied.....sue me. But don’t worry I won’t mention any names....
The Shredder with a convenient memory loss, The (S'n M) Whip with NSW university, The Engineer with a Hegemon (of sorts). Army Barracks saved herself for no point, she got back to Sydney and then broke up, what a waste. Loiusa,. who is she after? Note that I could have really hammered her but she said she’d kill me if I mentioned any of the four guys I know shés after.
On the lighter side of things we didn’t go that well in the races. Matt of course decided to take all the blame for this on the night of his Fatality. No less than three hours of “I should have won!!!....Let’s Party!!!!!.....I can’t open my eyes!!!..... I should have won!!!!...”.
We got many top ten places with Malcolm coming sixth in the Super G. But Jasmina stole the show with 2nd place in the Women's individual. Of course the Girls Cross-Country WON! Congratulations, especially considering one team member had never been X-C skiing before. But I must say I think I get the award for the biggest punter. Entering into the Snowboard race after only 5 hours on a snowboard. Needless to say I came last... but at least I finished.
Overall we came 6th, UNSW came 7th, UTS 4th and Melbourne 1st (that's all I can remember). Not the best results ever, but.. care factor? ZERO! We had a pretty mad time.