‘King’

of the Hill

He wanders through the woods like he owns the damn place,

There’s no bucks around that’ll get in his face.

These are his woods, where he scrapes and rubs trees,

and the Does that are around are all his to please.

This week he cares less about noises and direction,

His attention is now focused on what to do with his erection.

All the Does know, who’s the King of this hill

and the ones who think otherwise will soon get their fill.

He’s horny and mean and his attitude sucks,

he chooses his ladies before all other bucks.

This boldness and drive though, lets his guard down,

and sometimes he acts like a real drunken clown.

His only desire is to find the next doe

and if she’s not found, many miles he’ll go.

This takes him to places that he’s never been in,

which is usually the time that his troubles begin.

Walking through hardwoods in the middle of the day,

always on the move with the wind the same way.

He never beds down, he’s always on his feet,

‘cause there’s always another doe that he just has to meet.

He’s forgotten about his horns, they stick out like a beacon,

there’s no paying attention, for this rut’s just about peakin’.

This behavior explains why some hunters have luck,

and why so many others shoot out of their truck.

So if this week finds you out in the woods hunting,

be on the alert if you hear something grunting.

Be very careful with that doe-in-heat scent,

or it might just be your ass he’s got over that stump bent!