The unedited (except for spelling,) uncut, narrative.

    Our trip didn't get started until about 8:00'ish when every arrived at Mike L's place. We proceeded down the 403 hill in Ancaster and came to an abrupt stop. Traffic was slow all the way down to the bottom where a tractor trailer had taken out an 100m section of guiderail and rolled over in the ditch leaving it on it's back. Mike L. in his Mystery machine hauling the canoe trailer moved over on to the shoulder to see what was going on. He almost got creamed by 2 heavy tow trucks for Semi's (HHHHHhhhhhhoooonnnnnkkkkkkkk!!!)

    Now that we were past that and on our way up to the 401 in Toronto, the "PLASTIC" Flynno-mobile almost became one with a transport truck that was trying to merge lanes at the last minute... Phwew, that was close.

    Oh ya here is the instructions on how to read the tails light on the canoe trailer:
 

note:  The lights work properly if no running lights are on.
note:  Make sure you aren't driving beside Mike L and his trailer because they have a tendency to swerve into other lanes.

    Well with all that excitement over the rest of the trip up to Mike's cottage was pretty unsuccessful, except those 6 "Out of the Blue," Labatt Vans traveling in convoy. We saw three of them when we made a pit stop south of Barrie at Mc Raunchies. Oh ya Heather was feeling ill on the way up so we had to make a few pit stops on the way.

    We did not even break 110km/h on the trip up. This could be due to the fact the Mike's mom was in the mystery machine and she was freaking out at every little thing. We eventually made it the Logan Cottage on L. Joseph (I think) [Editor's Note: Actually Lake Rosseau]  at about 12:30. Since every thing was tied under the canoes in the trailer we slept in what we where wearing.

    OH my gosh we were actually up at 6:00 AM, Friday morning and out the door by 7:30. Heading south again we turned of the Highway by the Mc Donald River and off leaded the gear. Mike and Flynno took the Plastic van up to our pull out spot while the rest of us did the 25m portaging gear to the river where we would set off. Breakfast consisted of Dry cereal and BAGEL's and bruised APPLES. We were off and paddling by 10-10:30ish. About a half hour into the trip we came to the 400 highway. Under the 400 we had to go trough the love tunnel, which had the starting of a beaver dam on the other side. After a little bit of power paddling ("Long hard strokes and not short fast ones") we made it trough. Shortly after coming out on the other side we had our first and longest portage (or so we thought then). We ran into some interesting looking people that had camped there and were fishing when we arrived. We had to do 2-3 trips because of all the stuff we had "That wasn't in packs!"

    On the other side we carried on down the lake. We had to get our bearings strait a few time but after a while it was quite apparent that the love boat had fallen quite behind followed by Huck and Monica. Then it was the Titanic and Murray in the lead with the Moo Moo close behind. Then it was around the Island with Titanic in the lead until it hit and grounded out on a rock, with Moo Moo over powering Murray to take the lead. Now Huck and Monica were past Titanic with the love boat almost past them. Oh no look the titanic is off the rock, but look the love boat has now passed the titanic an there you have it folks because that is all because it is know time for lunch.

    After lunch we all went for a dip in the lake and sank Murray and used him as a tub for miller to take a bath in. We carried on until some of thought we were going the wrong way so Titanic went ahead to check to route, but sank (just kidding, they actually found the right way). We ran into a bunch of 13-16 year chicks. They said they were 22, 26, 4 and 34 (ya right)!!!! Huck started to get all excited and wanted to go meet them but was forbidden to. Mike L got a new nick name the lone Ranger because he was soloing by himself in a canoe. Suddenly we found Moo Moo way behind and the next thing we know it had transformed from canoe to kayak. While waiting for the Moo-Kayak to catch-up titanic went on a ramming spree by hitting a floating propane tank and a couple of bleach bottles. The Kayak idea soon became contagious because we found a few more kayaks in our group. Continuing on up a ways it became apparent that the lake ended and a swamp started. Everyone began to worry and we thought we made a wrong turn. But upon closer inspection there was a little pathways through. After an hour and trying to stay on the open water and bush whacking our own trial we finally came to open water and an abandoned dam.

    After unloading our gear and beaching the whales we had good old chard wieners on a stick. Okay who forgot the mustard???? After supper it was time to break out the water filter and pump some water, set up to toilet and explore. Miller, Oliver and Flynno went off to explore.

    The Bog Slog.

    After departing camp and heading down the rocky and shallow creek we come to an unpassable rock ledge. After lifting the canoe over we find a sign post in the middle of an open water area.

    After continuing along the path in the swamp we find a portage trail and continue until we hit a beaver dam about 75m Short of the road we have to cross tomorrow. Parking before the beaver dam and bush wacking a trail to the road we found our selves slowly sinking in mud, but before we get stuck we arrive at the road. After exploring up the road we find a trail that leads to a brush pile which conveniently is located behind the beaver dam (look an easier way around for tomorrow). After walking through a bit of mud we arrive at the dam and slow and painfully cross it. On the other side we hop back into the canoe, but oh now the stern is suddenly sinking because the canoe isn't balanced. After emptying the canoe it's back to the portage trail and see where it goes. 20-30 min later Oliver emerges at a base ball diamond and large grass field ("A ha!"  He thinks to himself an easier way yet for the Swifty-mobile crew to join us on our "Enduring Adventure". We had hope back the in the canoe and head back to camp.

    Meanwhile back at camp Huck want's to read (pictorially enjoy) his "Cosmo Magazine". Little to his knowledge does he know that a slithering reptile has slide it was into our humble abode for the night and was enjoying the comforts of some unsuspecting persons sleeping bag, HA Ha ha ha (whoops SSSssss, SSSSSsss, sssssssssss, rattle rattle)

    The Actual narrative:

Huck: Hey guys is there supposed to be a snake in here
 

Group: Ummmm...... No not really.
 

Snake: SSSSSs, Rattle, Rattle, Rattle
 

Huck: Oh *?$# %#$## its a rattler
 

Massasauga Rattle Snake: HHHsssss, Rattle, Rattle, Rattle, Rattle
 

Group: Mike get the #^?&* of there
 

The real man walks up a pulls the stunned Huck out of the Humble abode.
 

Group: Mike move out NOW!!!
 

Massasauga Rattle Snake: HHHHhhsssssssssss, Rattle, Rattle, Rattle
 

Girls: Ahhh it's a snake let me outa here, oh wait a sec quick where's a camera????
 

    Now of course we just had to have one of those very few encounters while a Massasauga rattler. After a length discussion and debate period we had consensus to move our camp site to the baseball diamond which was discovered earlier, but we had to have the phone on to get the Swifty-mobile's phone call at 7:50, ("Okay guys let me know if my back pack rings"). The only problem know was that "Is the snake still in there or is it gone, you know like it's the only poison's snake in Canada whose bite can sometimes be deadly." So after no one volunteered to check the real man valiantly stepped forward with paddle in hand and beated the snake back to where it came. After a lightening fast camp tear down and pack up we are on are way to the safety of the baseball diamond at about 7:40. Only 10 minutes until the cell phone has to be turned on.

    Stay Tuned...

    Well hear we are again in our "Enduring Adventure," with the 81^st Rover Crew. At last off we left them stranded in the middle of a swamp encountering a Massasauga rattler. Now lets see how the are doing now.

    Oh yes, here we are about a kilometer or so from the nearest road packing all our gear down some trail with canoes o'er our heads. Not to sure where the trail is going but know we are heading closer to the safety of the baseball diamond away from the snake. After a 30 minute walk, hike/portage we arrive and rest. The "big, strong, oak tree-like" men catch their wind and jaunt down the trail yet again to save the remaining canoes. When the returning to the village, the woman had prepared great quantities of water which evaporated upon the mens' searing breath, ( whoops getting a little carried away). Oh no I forgot about the cell phone which rang when we were finished the first trip and had just arrived at the grassy field area. Swifty was only just south of Barrie and was in heavy weekend traffic heading north. Since we smelled like pigs and there was no were to swim at our previous camp site (swamp) we hoped into the lake with bar'o'soap in hand across the road, down the hill and through yonder parking lot and off the end of a long pier. In other words 40m away on the other side of the road by the boat ramp, gee didn't I have you going there for a sec! (Deep thoughts, this guy must be cuckoo) Anyway, after an hour since the Swifty-mobile crew phoned they showed up; how fast do you think they were going? They must have been honking because of all the people running around naked in the dark in the grass field changing after swimming.

    Shortly after their arrival, they were filled in the days encounters and adventures. We settled in for the night and had a snooze.

    Sat morning started off like it was going to be a great sunny day but then clouds appeared, which eventually went away after lunch. Yum Bagels and gruel for breakfast. After pumping more water which seemed to have been dumped at the other campsite we set off. But not before seeing some old fart who looked to be a volunteer fire fighter of his 4x4 ATV - Can you say "red neck?" Howdy partner, ya like ma powerful 4x4 complete with tie down rack for ma two'afour of water?

    After setting out and paddling and, kayaking and, sailing, and Lilly dipping, and ramming, and swerving, and sunning, and burning, and ramming buoys, we got down to the end of the lake. Yet again we got a little of course, so like Capt. Ron said, we just get out and ask someone where we are. In the end we went two points to far again, so we turned around and went back. Continuing on down the Gibson river the titanic took a giant leap forward while everyone some how ground to a halt in a little bay where the 400 was visible. Once everyone was caught up we continued under the highway by pulling our canoes though a trickle of water and boulders. Then it was time to get back in the Canoe and "Monica sit down, NNNOOooo don't stand up" just kidding they didn't actually tip(pretty close call), but I did have you going didn't I?  Past a little bay and over a shallow spot we found an excellent spot to pull out by a dock and small boat ramp area. Yahoo no climbing up some steep hill beside the 400 and getting hit by trucks. Just like the snake that got ran over by a construction truck and the innards went flying in two different direction and went squish. The person who was beside the truck especially didn't like this (HaHa).

    After traveling down river a little bit we came to the first camp site which was actually now someone's cottage. Gee I guess we can't camp here, so on to the next site which had a nice log and fire pit. But no lets go look at more site, like how about that turtle back Island;"Just don't roll over to far!" Then there was one top'o hill with a nice view but not enough room for every one. Eventually we found a HUGE one just before the rapids. We unloaded our gear and set up camp. Then we roasted some more wieners over a fire for supper, while a Titanic log smoldered away in the fire pit.  Time to play how many rover can we fit in a canoe that is only rated for 670 lbs. Well in the end we fitted 7 bodies in and still had about 1" of gunwale, swosh, blub, blub, blub! Next it was off to see these rapids so we all piled into the canoes and went around the bend in the river to find not even a trickle of water just a big jumble of rocks and a 2m drop in the river. It wasn't all a waste we did run into another snake, but it was only a water snake. The Huck and miller got creative and used a whole roll of duck tape to make a sail boat that definitely needed a bigger sail.

    Later on at the camp site we had a visitor and he was sure looking for handouts. After a while everyone started to have hunger pains, so out came supper. Good old spaghetti and yes you guessed it BAGELS, WAHOO. After supper most of us lazed around playing cards or pumping water. Mum, The real man , and Todd (who's nick name is still secret and yet to be revealed) started talk about food and different dishes. Then suddenly realizing what they had at there disposal set to work on there secretive work of concocting desert.  Meanwhile, totally board and out of there minds Miller and Huck were discovering that water flows down due to the natural process of gravity. They were making poodles of water on the rock face by our camp site and watching the water cascade down the rock face into the river. SOUPS ON, well at least the apple crisp thing was, Yummy in my tummy.

    Now it came to be a period of more seriousness because it was time to invest a couple of people. The candidates were Tod and Hope who had completed there final steps before the final investiture ceremony. Shortly after the ceremony it was time to hit the sack, ZZZZZZzzzz.

    The next morning we awoke to find it a little moist and cloudy. The next thing everyone knew we were all being suffocated by a big blue stinking tarp. The noise alone of unfolding it awoke every one and it was time to "Worm Wars" and "Steam Roller". We got up had more rock hard stinking Bagels for breakfast and some left over porridge. Then all of a sudden the sky opened up and its started to rain. We packed up fairly fast and cleaned up our site and headed off to the end of our route. I'm Canoeing in the rain, just canoeing in the rain, Oh what glorious feeling I'm....Happy Again. Once at the end we pull out our canoes and head up to the road. The Canoe portion of our trip is sadly but truly over.

    Stay tuned tomorrow for the next saga of our trip, The trip Home (done, done, done, da, Oh No not the trip home AAAAhhhh)

    Now that we are finally finished our trip and'is at the end Flynn-o and Hope hop into the Plastic Van with the Ranger who is no longer alone. They set out to pick up the swifty mobile and the Mystery Machine. After about an hour standing in the rain, soaking wet and cold they arrive back at the pull out point. We all load the gear into the box trailer and put the canoes onto the vehicles and do a quick custom change into dry clothes. Then it's finally time to set out and head home.

    Or so we thought...  We were on way home untill all of a sudden things start to fly from the bottom of the trailer. "Hey that's rubber flying.....OOHHHH MY GOSH....THE TIRES BLOWN ON THE TRAILER!" After trying to get the mystery machine attention, which Ranger figured that some thing was up because there was suddenly a lot of drag and he wasn't going as fast. Then he saw the Plastic Van signaling him to pull over. We where stopped about 1km north of the Hwy 93 exit by the Band Saw Mill Co. along the 400 heading south. Swifty, which was trailing behind, pulled over too. Most of us got out to see a smoking shredded tire that had a bent fender above it. "OH CRAP WE DON'T HAVE A SPARE!" After fumbling around for a jack and tire iron Hope pulled out a donut that we all thought we fit on the trailer. So began the process of trying to get the lug nuts out of the wheel which where seized and rusted into place. A half hour later of struggling, prying and pulling and one bent Tire iron we had the tire off, YAHHOOO! Next came the process of removing the bent up fender. We tried pulling, prying and ripping it off, as well as trying to undo the rusted on nut and bolt which held it in place. We finally gave up and called to CAA for help, "Hi yes we need a hack saw; A WHAT, try going to a hard ware store!" So much for their help after being on hold for 15min and 10min of explaining where we were. A few people had to be back in Hamilton for the afternoon so the Swifty-mobile left with Hope, Huck and the love boat couple. Then a couple of us jumped into the plastic van and took of into Barrie which was fortunately only 20km to the south and traffic was moving well.

    When we reached Barrie we got of at Bayfield St and headed to good old Crappie Tire. We found a hacksaw for $6 and decided to get another blade for it just in case...it cost us $2. We stopped and thought for a moment, "Which is worth more the hack saw or the second blade?" Anyway, while we where there we check out the price of new tires because they didn't sell used ones. We also went up to the north end to see who else sold tires. All we saw lots and lots of gas stations, but with out service garages. Then the Ranger was getting fed up and called his dad on the cell phone, both of which had bit of a squabble over the phone. So after that 1-1.5 hour fiasco w head back out north bound on the 400, and "oh crap look at all that traffic heading south now!" We went past where we left the trailer and other vehicle and turned around at one of those service u turn things, which fortunately was only 1min up the road.

    So arriving back we told them about or adventure into town and sawed our way through the angle iron that held the fender on. Once that was done we jacked up the trailer once again and go to put the donut on. "$%%$# !#$%$% 5 14%%!$%!^&, the diameter of the hole is a tad to small for the axel on the trailer, $^^(@%(!$%" So by now it's after lunch and we are all hungry, so we unhook the trailer and leave it behind and this time bringing the tire rim with us and take off into Barrie in the two vehicles. We stop at Canadian tire and decide that we will get the new tire here. So we got a cheap $44 tire which ended up cost $60 for labor, disposal, taxes and of course for the new tire which had to be balanced (Huge weights)! While we were waiting for the tire to be put on the rim we head over to PIZZA HUT for lunch. We had just missed the all you can eat lunch buffet by 10 whole minutes and let me tell you we were HUNGRY. So we ordered A pitcher of Pepsi, root beer, sprite and water because they didn't give free refills on cups of pop, darn cheap restaurant. We ordered that family meal which consisted of two pizza, garlic bread, past and salad. We had originally asked for a garden salad but they brought us a caesar. We told them about the mistake and we said we would take both salads, for some reason they had no problem with this. It could have been for the fact that we were all unshaven, big and large (groups that is). We were not quite as big as the groups beside us (oriental yout's about or age who double us in numbers, but were so quiet), on the other hand it could have been that we where so loud not exactly to the rowdy extent. Monica was so hungry she was almost tempted to eat the food from the lunch buffet which was located right behind us. She had to be dissaplined against this action. Then finally our food arrived and we literally chowed down. When we were done we paid our bill which was a little more than what we would have paid if we had the lunch buffet, but it was worth it. Now making a pit stop using the facilities (Mark no gas now) on our way out. We picked up our tire and filled up the gas tanks and yet again headed out. We got back to the trailer and put the new tire one hooked the trailer up and headed home.

    Stay tuned for the final conclusion of our trip home

Highlights for the next part that will make you wait:

-High Wind -Slithery thing in Mystery Machine -Flying butt wad

-Flying Debris -Swerving trailer cutting people off -and much, much more details

    When we last left our adventurers off, they had just completed a five, yes five hour tire change. So we join them know in North end T.O. because after that tire change the rest is just fiction and doesn't matter.

    We see our adventures turning off the 400 south bound onto the 407 ETR. Then all of a sudden out of nowhere a huge wind picks up. The next thing we see is all the canoes on the trailer sifting to one side as well as the ones on the vehicles. Thinking that the loads a secure we continue on down the 407 a ways until we see the canoe on top of the mystery machine swaying in the breeze and the next thing we know is that one of the foam blocks is flying back and hits our windshield. We try and signal Mike L. in his mystery machine but are unsuccessful for about a kilometer. Then we pass him and pull on to the shoulder, I think he clues in now and does the same. We hope out and tighten the ropes and retie some knots that were tied improperly to begin with. Then adding more rope to make sure the canoes would not continue to shift in the high wind. Once done all that we continue to Mt. Nemo scout camp where we off load all of the canoes except Murray. Just before departing Nemo, Oliver realizes there is spare rope still handing from the trailer. He runs over grabs it and tosses the slithery rope into the mystery machine, AAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhh SKREEEEEeeeTCH. Well that became a sudden shock to Monica, but was hilarious for the rest of us. Ha ha ha ha, Laugh pee my pants funny laugh, howl, giggle .

    On our way out of camp we lost the butt-wad which someone forgot to take of the roof, a pack of gum and some string off the trailer. We head down Walkers line and on to the 403 west bound because it's now are final and last leg of our weekend journey. All of us in the "Plastic Van started to realize that the trailer had 2x4's sticking out really far. Since we didn't have any canoes on the trailer people were zooming by them and we had a few narrow misses because that darn trailer was swerving again. We were just before the highway 6 cut off and Mike L. deiced to make a lane change but didn't see the car beside him and he narrowly put a 2x4 through there window and we and taking a mere few centimeters. We finally made it back to the Logan Residence and our trip is know over until next time.

    It's been a great trip, Everyone take care and have a good school year and hope to see you soon.
 

Bye for Now and remember Mum's the Word!!!
 
 

visits to this page since 23 October 1999.