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| All-Star Battle 2003 |
| PY: Hi, everyone, and welcome to Yoshi Stadium's final 2003 battle--an ALL-STAR MATCH featuring some of the "other" fighters who didn't make the cut for the final, but were heavy favorites all season! These contenders worked hard, cheered loud, bowed low, and did everything in their power to give us an entertaining season, and we just didn't feel like they got the credit they all deserved. As our tribute to those select four for this season, my partner Slow Joe Crow and I have arranged for this special battle, which is taking place right here at Yoshi Stadium again and is being officiated by our fine staffer, Fierce Deity, who is responsible for YS's popular Nintendo Survivor season! We're also having a special half-time show with Bomber Link, as usual, and also a quick chat with our even-more-famous-than-ever guest, Super Mario, the winner of Yoshi Stadium's 2003 season! But, as always, I need to introduce the fighters so Slow Joe can go down there with one of them! First of our All-Star list was an extremely heavy contender in the season--he was loved by everyone, and many a fan screamed foul when he somehow didn't enter the Final Battle. His battles seemed to all be 'linked' to one another--they all happened to involve a loss to Nintendo's mascot, Mario. But that never spoiled his work-hard, play-fair, stay-cool mood. Cheer loudly, clap your hands, because Hyrule's greatest is taking a whack at winning Yoshi Stadium's 2003 All-Star Battle! WELCOME, LINK! (Link enters the arena). Joe, wanna take the next one? SC: Sure I do, Pirate. Our next fighter used to be one of our very own personal favorites, and also a big-time struggler for the championship. He has endured plenty of punishment this season, as well as some humility, but he never stops to glower about his failures, and his immense fighting skills have finally paid off! Entering as Fighter #2 is DONKEY KONG! (DK arrives onto the field, tripping and falling) Uh-oh......but he's okay, folks! PY: Our third contender tonight was, as were the last two, a HUGE contender, with a fanbase that roared with dismay when he miraculously didn't compete in the Final. However, he didn't seem bothered by it at all, and he's now getting a chance to show just what kind of results he could've spurned! Cheer loud, crowd, because I know a great number of you are rooting him on! HEY YOU, PIKACHU! (Pikachu darts onto the field and the crowd roars with approval) Yours last, Crow. SC: Right you are, Pirate. There's only spot for one more contender, sadly, and we had many to choose from for this place. However, in the end, there was one sole fighter we could not possibly over-look. His presence in multiple Yoshi Stadium battles has brought a smile to our faces, and his fighting style--while old skool--remains sturdy against even the fiercest fighters. Also, he threatened to take us to court over legal issues if we didn't place him in this fight. Please welcome, those who haven't left for the bathroom already, CRANKY KONG! (Cranky rushes out as fast as he can, waiting for the roar of approval. There's silence. Then someone choking. A person on the other side sneezes, and the sound of a soda can hitting the floor breaks the silence) Great to see what a fanclub he's got! Marvelous receptions for every fighter! PY: Of course, getting ready for this battle means sending Slow Joe down to the field, which is precisely what he's doing. We'll give him a second to get down there by quickly recapping Cranky's history: Cranky lost every match he was in. Ah, Slow Joe has found a fighter, so let's hand it over to him. SC: Thanks, Pirate, and I'm here today with Pikachu, who put up a good struggle every time he stepped on the field. Alright, Pikachu--what's the word on your attack stratagies for tonight? Pikachu: Pika-pi-chu, chuuuu! SC: Ah, frontal assaults where available, but only from a distance. And what kind of advantage do you believe your electricity gives you? Pikachu: Piii, chu-chu, pika! SC: Mmmm, a moderate advantage over a typical-attributed adversary. And your enemies this battle--who's going to create some trouble for you? Pikachu: Pika, pika-pi chu chu-ika, pikachu pi chu chu chu-pik pika pika pi chu pikachu pi, chu chu, pika. SC: You disregard the Hylian, mock the primate, and diss the ape's grandfather, do you? Well, best of luck to you! Back to you, Pirate! PY: Things are ready to go, and Fierce Deity has entered onto the field dressed in a yellow and black shirt with a whistle. We had a hard time tearing him away from Nintendo Survivor for this, but we think he'll only add to this fight! FD: Alright, guys--fight clean, play fair, and don't cheat.....not that I actually expect you to follow all that, but you get my drift. Three.....two.....one........START! PY: Fierce blows the whistle and dashes aside as the four clash instantly in a huge pile-up! Donkey Kong's super strength gives him the advantage, however, and he shoves the other three over on their backs with ease! L: 0 DK: 3 P: 0 C: 0 SC: Pikachu is first to get back to his feet, and he zaps Donkey Kong good with an electrical attack, sending the ape reeling! He is quickly assaulted from behind, however, as Link draws his sword and lets the Pokemon have it! Cranky, slow to get up, weilds his cane at Link, but the Hyrulian dodges the swing and knocks Cranky back over with his shield. L: 2 DK: 3 P: 1 C: 0 PY: Donkey Kong, back on his feet, swats Pikachu back at Link again, and the Pokemon blasts right into Link, knocking him over. Cranky Kong struggles to get back up still, and Link arrises, battling Pikachu. Pikachu strikes Link in the gut, and Link backs right into Cranky, who is just standing up, and the old monkey falls back down again. L: 3 DK: 5 P: 2 C: 0 SC: Link strikes back against Pikachu and slams the mouse with his Master Sword, knocking him reeling backwards. DK leaps into the fray and bare-knuckles Link backwards, where he steps right on Cranky's hand. Cranky yelps in pain and jerks away his hand, throwing Link off balance and flipping him over onto the ground hard! A point for Cranky Kong, at last! Incredible! L: 4 DK: 6 P: 2 C: 1 PY: Wow....Link's not getting back up too fast. Cranky stands up, holding his throbbing finger, and yells several curses. Fierce blows the whistle and steps onto the field. FD: Obscene and vulgar language used on the play field! Offender: Cranky Kong! PY: Hmmm....what does Fierce have in store as punishment against Cranky and his potty mouth? SC: Oh, no! It's coming! I see it......it's......IT'S........ SC and PY: THE MOLASSES SHOES! (the crowd gasps as Fierce grabs Cranky's foot and shoves it into the gooey shoe, then sticks the other on his other foot) FD: Resume play! (he blows the whistle) Cranky: HEY! I'M STUCK TO THE GROUND! PY: Which is exactly what those........Molasses Shoes......are meant to do! Link steps up to Cranky, who is stuck in a standing position, and bats him around with his sword like a punching dummy, rapidly building his point total! Cranky bounces all over, stuck to his spot as a reluctant practice target, and Link continues the hits! DK steps in and smacks Link away, then draws back himself to get in some points! Against his own grandfather, too! L: 14 DK: 7 P: 2 C: 1 SC: Donkey draws back....and slams Cranky so hard, he rips free of the turf and sails backwards through the air, rolling over and over again! Cranky falls over, stuck again to the ground.......me thinks he's outa there! PY: So does Fierce, apparently. He's called Cranky out of the match, and the........Molasses Shoes....have claimed another poor victim! L: 14 DK: 11 P: 2 C: 1 SC: No, Pirate; he claimed himself. It wasn't the shoes that took him out--it was his own mouth! PY: Thanks for that sentimental lesson of morality, Crow--I'll ask for another one after someone else beats the living crud out of an opponent. SC: We're closing up to the half, and Pikachu wants to get some action--he's getting left in the dust in terms of points! He rapidly attacks Donkey Kong, who is a big, rather slow target--he's just MADE for points...that is, points for other players! Link sees that Pikachu is going to take the lead if this attacking continues, and he quickly fires his boomerang, stunning Pikachu in place! L: 15 DK: 11 P: 9 PY: As an expression of thanks, DK turns and whomps Link backwards across the stage with a swift kick as the Hylian draws near. DK then turns to Pikachu, who is just regaining his strength again, and grabs him up! DK is carrying Pikachu towards the edge of the arena towards the stands! He's going to throw him out to the crowd--like a tee-shirt at a ball game, only he's doing himself a favor at the same time! Pikachu squirms, but it's no use! L: 15 DK: 13 P: 9 SC: We are down to one minute, and Pikachu knows he's in trouble. However, DK has over-looked one of Pikachu's most dangerous abilities: the control over electricity! Pikachu gathers up energy and shocks Donkey Kong badly, causing the ape to drop him in pain and dash away quickly! Pikachu wants a little revenge, however, and uses his Quick Attack to quickly catch up and knock the monkey over! Pikachu leaps up in the air, then comes down sizzling with sparks, and DK is jolted straight up into the air! Pikachu, however, is too busy congratulating himself to remember that what goes up, must come down, and Donkey Kong is no exception. Needless to say, DK flops down out of the sky and lands directly on Pikachu, smothering him underneath his huge body for a last-second point as the buzzer sounds. Ouch! L: 15 DK: 14 P: 12 PY: That's half-time, and as our remaining fighters go in to refresh themselves for another half, we're heading over to the studio real quick for an interview, as always, with our half-time host, Bomber Link, and then we'll be stopping for a quick word with our special guest at the battle tonight, Super Mario! That's all coming up next, so stay tuned! ********** PY: Hi, everyone, and welcome to yet another exciting half time show, presented by your favorite Yoshi Stadium half-time host, Bomber Link! As always, I've come up here to join him as we chat about some of the plays we've all been watching. Howdy, Bomber Link! BLink: You know what I have realized? I have to be their favorite half-time host. I AM THE ONLY HALF-TIME HOST! BWAHAHAHA! So they are forced to like me! PY: Isn't that convenient? But enough about you, let's talk about THEM! You know......the fans! What are they getting from this fight tonight? BLink: A lot of nothing from Cranky, that's for sure! Getting stepped on and cursing and molasses shoes and now he is out of the match entirely. But DK and Link and that Pikamon are making up for his lack of... man power, or monkey power, or whatever. PY: Speaking of Cranky, were you expecting any more--or less--from him in such a huge battle? BLink: He lasted long enough to get the Molasses Shoes, that a lot more than I was expecting out of him. PY: We know Fierce doesn't like to take crap from anybody, but do you suppose maybe he went too far this time? I mean......the MOLASSES SHOES?! For a bad-mouth call? Was that really necessary, do you suppose? BLink: Nah, but it was funny. An old wrinkley, grumpy, ugly old monkey in shoes full of rodent butt... er... molasses, what is better than that? PY: About the other fighters--who is doing the best down there right now? BLink: Hmmm... probably Fierce. He hasn't taken a single hit yet! Oh wait... my bad. Probably Pikachu. With his turn around zapper on DK and then beating on him a bit more after that, Pikachu is doing pretty good, with DK right behind him, nipping his electric rump. PY: How about the worst? Is anyone really doing awful tonight, other than Cranky? BLink: Not really. They are all putting in a wonderful fight. But I suppose we should expect a little more out of the Hero of Time. PY: I know no one likes to make predictions that are heavily weighted, especially in a match as close as this--but that's what you're here for, and it's your job! Who are you putting money on for this battle? BLink: Well, I hope Pikachu wins. I have a lot of money placed on him.... but you didn't hear that! I think Pikachu will continue to dominate with his turn-arounds and win this match! PY: Are you surprised that any of these fighters AREN'T doing something they could be doing? Does anyone need to pull themselves together tighter to pull out a win? BLink: I still think Link could whip out some stonger moves than what he has showed here tonight, and I think that he should get on the monkey if he wants to win this match today. PY: And if you're in the monkey's shoes....the shoes he doesn't wear......what would you do to ensure that the other two aren't getting their win off of you, or, dare I mention it, pulling past them both for the victory? BLink: Use the tie that does not match his fur at all, and use it to tie up the stronger oppenent, and then focus all his monkey power on him and crush him good! PY: Well, thanks for giving us one more half time show for this season, Bomber Link, and we'll be watching close this second half to see if these fighters have taken any pages from your show! BLink: Thank you and good bye! ********** PY: Welcome back, everyone, to Yoshi Stadium's All-star battle, the final match of the 2003 season! Though the battle began with four, a swift penalty, a strong punch, and then there were three! Link, DK, and Pikachu are the remainers, after Cranky was pounded out of the match with a grand total of zero points! However, as is custom, Slow Joe Crow needs to have a chat with a fighter before we begin the second half. However, today, he's got a very special guest he's talking to. Over to you, Joe! SC: Thanks, Pirate, and very special guest indeed! I'm with Yoshi Stadium's first-ever Yoshi Stadium Tournament Champion, the undefeated 2003 season winner, Super Mario! I'm so glad you could join us tonight, Mario! Mario: I'm-a so glad to be-a here! SC: Well, you should be fully aware that you amazed the world by not only beating out all your contenders for the top spot in the whole tournament, but by also doing it with a flare--you didn't lose a single round! How can you explain these amazing deeds? Mario: (shrugging) I'm-a just lucky, I guess! Woo-hoo! SC: Luck nothing, we all saw just what a dangerous fighter you are, and, as such, I was wondering what you've been thinking from your honerary seat down by the field as you watch this battle. Tell us, O Champion....what's going through your head as you watch? Mario: Well, I see-a some good-a stuff, and I see-a some bad-a stuff. No one is-a doing one or the other-a solidly. SC: Can you further define this 'good stuff' and 'bad stuff'? Mario: Well, take-a Pikachu. He's-a doing great, with-a his speed and attacks! He's-a doing good! Now, take-a Cranky Kong! He's-a doing bad! He's-a done so bad, he's-a gotten kicked out of the match-a! SC: Are you shocked to see Link's not dominating? Mario: Yeah, I'm-a surprised. I know-a Link better than that-a, and he's-a not going to lay down-a and let-a this go by! SC: Are you saying you think he'll step it up this half? Mario: You watch-a him closely--he'll-a surprise you! SC: Well, thanks for the advice, Mario, and we'll definately keep our eyes on the Hero of Time, just as you said! Back to you, Pirate! PY: Thanks, Joe, and Fierce has blown the whistle! The second half has started, and Pikachu quickly shows his diminuative dominence by striking both Link and Donkey Kong repeatedly with Quick Attacks at a blazing speed, racking up several points already in the half! L: 15 DK: 14 P: 18 SC: Pikachu goes for another pass, but Link strikes with his Master Sword and connects, sending the rat tumbling. He quickly turns his sights on Donkey Kong and strikes, knocking the big ape back! DK turns slowly, and Link hits him again! He smacks DK a third time before Donkey Kong, in pain, swats Link away from himself. Pikachu rushes at Donkey Kong for a chance for rapid points, but DK has gotten wise to the fact that he's a primary target, and he grabs Pikachu quickly and throws him away before he can be shocked. L: 19 DK: 16 P: 18 PY: Link shows he's dangerous, even at a range, by drawing his arrows and firing upon the two, quickly scoring several hits against both the Pokemon and the Kong. DK rushes at Link amidst the shower of arrows, looking for a hit, but Link side-steps just in time among the flurry of pointed weapons, then grabs out a bomb and lets DK have it right in th back! Ouch! Donkey's butt is smoldering out there as he hurridly puts out the flames engulfing his hind-quarters. L: 27 DK: 16 P: 18 SC: Pikachu, however, grabs Link from behind and flips him around quickly, then gives him a jolt of juice and sends the Hylian flying! Pikachu quickly follows up with several Thunder Wave attacks, which paralyze BOTH DK and Link! He's got two big punching bags that are all his for a few seconds now! L: 27 DK: 16 P: 20 PY: Pikachu dashes at Donkey Kong and smacks him with his tail a few times, then turns and fires a small blast of electricity in Link's direction, jolting Link back to life. Link turns to slash Pikachu, but the Pokemon dodges aside just in time and Link instead smacks DK, who topples over, finally free of the paralyzation. DK returns the thanks by smacking Link backwards head over heels. L: 28 DK: 17 P: 25 SC: Pikachu grabs Donkey Kong--he's on a roll--and hurls him straight at Link, taking them both out at once! What power for such a tiny fighter! Link shows he's not playing games, though, and quickly slashes the big ape away from himself, then turns his attention towards Pikachu. Link draws his Hookshot and fires, latching onto the Pokemon. Pikachu is dragged across the arena to Link, and the Hero of Time lets the Pokemon have it hard with his sword, sending Pikachu toppling over and over in the grass! Yeowch! L: 31 DK: 17 P: 27 PY: Donkey Kong, feeling a bit neglected from the fight, winds up his spinning, arm-flailing attack and lets rip with a Helicopter Kong move that scores multiple hits on Link AND some significant damage, ending with one final punch that tosses the Hylian straight up into the air. DK sees a golden opportunity for another KO and draws back his foot to punt Link out of the fight as he falls, but Link sees himself in trouble and quickly adjusts his fall so that DK only clips him slightly, causing minimal damage and hurting himself more from the follow-through than hurting Link from the kick. L: 32 DK: 26 P: 27 SC: Link takes advantage of DK's surprise and grabs the ape, then chucks him backwards right into an oncoming Pikachu, who is squashed by DK's huge weight. Pikachu, however, once again proves to be incredibely strong considering his size, and he hoists DK up and tosses him aside quickly. Link stabs at the Pokemon, but Pikachu dodges and rolls right around behind Link, quickly striking and knocking Link forwards. L: 34 DK: 26 P: 29 PY: Donkey Kong gets up and quickly delivers a ground-slapping that rocks the earth! Both Link and Pikachu lose their balance and tumble to the ground, and DK quickly unleashes a series of blows against them! Pikachu is sent sailing with one hit, landing out of DK's reach, but Link is not knocked far at all, and he takes several more hits before he staggers out of harm's way. L: 34 DK: 32 P: 29 SC: Pikachu leaps high over Donkey's head and, as he passes, calls down a bolt of thunder. The lightning strikes right through the big ape, and Donkey Kong is shocked within an inch of his life and thrown far across the stage, smashing through the stands and sending spectators screaming! KO for Pikachu, and DK's hopes of victory are shattered! L: 34 DK: 32 P: 34 PY: What a dramatic final battle! We've got about two minutes left, and the score is tied between Link and Pikachu. Neither wants to strike first, in fear of their move being predicted and countered. They circle carefully, waiting for a chance to attack....and Pikachu makes the first error, firing a small jolt of electricity at Link. The Hylian swiftly slips aside from the attack and counters with a harsh blow that knocks Pikachu backwards. But Pikachu gets up quickly and they resume their showdown. Link is one point ahead--if there is no KO in these last two minutes, he will win unless Pikachu attacks back! L: 35 P: 34 SC: Link draws his bow and arrow, aiming carefully, and Pikachu realizes that he must either attack immediately or run away fast. He opts for attack, and catches Link just before he can get off his shot! Pikachu slams Link in the head with his light tail, causing Link to miss the point-blank-range shot. Pikachu goes for another hit....and gets it, before darting away as Link blindly whips his sword around crazily! Pikachu has the advantage, and there's one minute left! L: 35 P: 36 PY: Oooo, a nail biter! Link rushes at Pikachu, frantic to get the needed hit to tie the game back up, and Pikachu retreats, hoping against hope to evade every attack for the final minute and maintain his lead! Link slashes frantically as Fierce calls thirty seonds, and a hit connects, sending Pikachu tumbling towards the stands! Tied up with less than half of a minute to play, and Pikachu is on the verge of being KOed! Link dashes at Pikachu, knowing victory is within his reach! Pikachu woozily stands up as ten seconds are called, and Link smacks him back down, right on the line of being out of bounds--and out of the match! Link has the lead! L: 37 P: 36 SC: Pikachu refuses to go down, however, without a fight, and he quickly strikes Link in the shin with three seconds remaining, tying the score back up! Link knows that he has Pikachu right in the face of death....one hit will knock him out of the match, and there's no time to recover even should he remain in bounds! L: 37 P: 37 PY: Link draws back the blade and smacks Pikachu hard, but the Pokemon rolls aside just in time and avoids going out of bounds! Link, however, is running out of control from the hard swing, which he expected to hit a lot more of Pikachu and a lot less air! Link loses his balance and falls......and tumbles right out of the boundaries and into the stands, just as the buzzer sounds! PIKACHU IS THE ALL-STAR CHAMP! LINK TAKES HIMSELF OUT WITH THE LEAD! INCREDIBLE! L: 38 P: 37 SC: We need the official call from Fierce on this one....what's more important, being in the match still, or having the points? FD: (walking onto the field) The official call is that Link had more points than Pikachu at the battle's end, but Pikachu was the last fighter remaining. Therefore, Pikachu wins the title, but Link's record will show the win in point statistics! PY: And there you have it, everyone! The final battle, no more letting-down than any of the rest this season! And that brings the 2003 season to an official close! On behalf of the staff here at YS, thank you to everyone who has joined us not only for this battle, but for the rest of the season as well! Be sure to join us for our next season, the 2004 Yoshi Stadium Tournament, as we introduce new and old fighters in a complete season for glory and and pride! Who will reign supreme next season? Only time (and Bomber Link's great predictions) will tell.... SC: Eh....no witty phrase this time.... PY: Wait! The quote! You can say it--I'm sick of it already. SC: Okay. "Amazing things are always happening here at Yoshi Stadium!" Yeah....that is pretty awful. PY: Maybe we'll get it changed for the next season or something. SC: Yeah.....to something like, "Avacados with clam chowder say adios in Chinese." PY: ..............................let's stick with the Amazing Things saying...... |
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