PY: Hi everyone and welcome to the final battle of 2004, the All-Star battle, where Yoshi Stadium’s best crowd-pleasers gather for one final hurrah! This year, it’s special, because our contestants also happen to be the last regularly-scheduled combatants in a match commentated on by myself and Slow Joe Crow!  Next year, we’re taking on the tougher crowd: the mini-monsters of the gaming world!

SC: That’s right, Pirate, and we’re going to see where the REAL action is at, when these cronies and gruntlings go head-to-head in miniature clashes of what we’ve seen all year here at Yoshi Stadium.

PY: But, that’s still a ways away, and we’re commentating on tonight’s match, which is between Mr. Game & Watch, Captain Falcon, Ganondorf, and King K. Rool!  Our referee is going to be Mewtwo, a former combatant from last season.  He definitely has the wisdom to make good calls, eh?

SC: And the arena is perfect for this battle, as well!  We’re sitting here at Gelato Beach for this final conclusion to 2004, and the sun is shining brightly!  Nothing like a warm setting for a winter battle!

PY: Mewtwo blows the whistle, and our final match is under way!  No special rules tonight, folks, so all we’ll see is hardcore action! 
GW: 100%    CF: 100%   G: 100%    KK: 100%    

SC: Explosive start as Captain Falcon draws his blaster and opens fire on Ganondorf!  The Gerudo King stumbles aside out of the fire, but King K. Rool makes sure he doesn’t get far by nailing him in the forehead with his crown!  Double-team action can be intense! 
GW: 100%   CF: 100%   G: 84%    KK: 100%

PY: Mr. Game & Watch is in on the action, as he assaults Captain Falcon’s knees with his little helmeted head!  Captain Falcon winces–you can see that one hurt–but delivers a hard kick that knocks the little spindly man away across the beach!  Falcon’s definitely one of the most devastating forces out there right now, isn’t he?   GW: 90%    CF: 96%   G: 84%    KK: 100%

SC: And, just like always, King K. Rool seems to be in the best position so far, with full health and no rivals...yet.  Ganondorf looks like he may have a bone to pick with him, however, and the Gerudo goes for the Kremling’s throat!  King K. Rool tries to block the attack, but Ganondorf nails him solidly despite his block, and squeezes hard!  King K. Rool struggles for breath, losing HP steadily, and it looks like he may not get any help!  GW: 90%   CF: 96%   G: 84%   KK: 74%

PY: Game & Watch to the rescue!  Mr. Game & Watch rams against Ganondorf just in time to save King K. Rool, but he doesn’t seem to cause much damage to Ganondorf.  The big green goof grabs up Mr. Game & Watch by the head, as if he’s a mere bug, and flings him into the ocean waves!  What a brute!  King K. Rool staggers away, catching his breath, and before Ganondorf can set his sights back on King K. Rool, Captain Falcon comes leaping through the air and lands a double-footed blow right into Ganondorf’s back, sending him sprawling into the sand with the force of a rolling truck!  Ouch!   GW: 85%   CF: 96%    G: 61%   KK: 71%

SC: Mr. Game & Watch swims back to shore, but he looks exhausted, and Captain Falcon capitalizes by beating him mercilessly up and down the beach before landing a final kick that knocks the poor little guy right through the air onto his back in the sand!  It just doesn’t pay to be a stick figure in a 3D world...  GW: 60%   CF: 96%   G: 61%   KK: 71%

PY: King K. Rool jumps Captain Falcon from behind, trying to wrestle him down, but Captain Falcon is even stronger than he looks...and that guy’s pretty buff looking!  As King K. Rool fights from Falcon’s back, Ganondorf gets back to his feet and slide-tackles them both, taking down the two with a single blow!  Captain Falcon, however, still holds the lead as he rolls back to his feet quickly.  GW: 60%   CF: 80%   G: 61%    KK: 60%

SC: Captain Falcon goes to punch Ganondorf, but the wily Gerudo steps aside just in time, and Falcon punches King K. Rool in the face as he staggers to his feet.  The Kremling King is flattened onto his back in the sand by the blow, and Ganondorf returns the favor to a surprised Captain Falcon by delivering a powerful elbow that sends Falcon rocketing across the sand, landing hard on his side!  That’s the first strong blow anyone’s gotten to land on Falcon, and it may be followed by more–it looks like that was a sharp one that really got him good! 
GW: 60%   CF: 60%   G: 61%   KK: 51%

PY: We’re dropping assistance!  (Pirate Yoshi pulls a lever, dumping a Coconut Gun onto the beach) Weapons, thy name is vanity!

SC: Uh...what’s that mean?

PY: No clue, but it sounds kinda cool, no?

SC: There’s a scramble for the weapon, but Mr. Game & Watch somehow scurries between the brutes and snatches it up just in time!  How he managed that, I have no idea.  He turns as Falcon lands a solid punch on Ganondorf, then the little stick figure opens fire on all three adversaries, pelting them with the nutty projectiles!  GW: 60%   CF: 51%   G: 48%   KK: 47%

PY: Looks like King K. Rool has fallen straight into last place, and Game & Watch is now in first!  See, Joe, you just can’t predict these things, no matter who you are!  This match turned completely around!

SC: And it might turn further still!  Captain Falcon is taking the extent of the damage from that Coconut Gun, and he has nowhere to hide on an open beach.  As Game & Watch targets the Captain specifically, Ganondorf and K. Rool crawl away quickly to keep from the line of fire!  Falcon has lost the lead, and is now in last place!   GW: 60%   CF: 33%   G: 43%   KK: 42%

PY: Drat!  Game & Watch has run out of ammo, and the shooting ends abruptly!  Falcon doesn’t look like much of a threat at the moment, but as soon as he gets the chance to return some of that damage, he’ll take it, I’m sure!  Meanwhile, Ganondorf has attacked K. Rool with a brutal push that sends a significantly-weakened Kremling into the murky waves.  Ganondorf turns in time to kick away an advancing stick figure, but not before Game & Watch manages to throw his Coconut Gun at the Gerudo, successfully hitting him in the face with it.  
GW: 50%   CF: 33%   G: 36%    KK: 38%

SC: Captain Falcon staggers towards Ganondorf, not feeling at all as strong as earlier in the match, and Ganondorf, enraged by being hit with that thrown weapon, unleashes his rage on Falcon, sending him soaring with a single punch to the stomach.  Falcon hits the turf, but drags his beaten body back up again, as if invincible.  King K. Rool, however, reaches Ganondorf first and lands a perfect smack of his big scaly tail across Ganondorf’s head, sending him tumbling to the sand in surprise.  This match is up for grabs!   GW: 50%   CF: 22%   G: 28%   KK: 38%

PY: Game & Watch is on the move again, but with a flick of his crown, K. Rool puts an end to his attack with a perfect toss.  Game & Watch rolls across the beach, and K. Rool turns just in time to take a sharp blow from Falcon’s head–headbutts are rare today, because of the damage the aggressor takes as well, but Falcon’s such a retro-fighter, he just absorbs the pain anyway!   GW: 41%   CF: 20%   G: 28%   KK: 30%

SC: Game & Watch is in the lead still, but Ganondorf has grabbed him by a leg and is swinging him around!  He lets go, and-.....oh, this can’t be good.  He’s going...he’s going.....SPLOOSH!  Game & Watch is WAY out in the ocean, and all he can do is flounder around!  This doesn’t look promising, and after a moment of splashing, he starts going under.  The distance is too far to swim back from, and with a wave of his little 2D hand, he signals that he requires emergency assistance to survive.  That’s the end of Game & Watch’s game.  Too bad, he was doing fairly well up to that point!  Ah, well–that’s why you beef up before entering a battle like this with tough guys like these!  
GW: 0%    CF: 20%   G: 28%    KK: 30%

PY: Falcon delivers a strong knee to K. Rool’s chest, sending him sprawling, and as the Kremling King stands again, he whips back his wrist and backhands the poor monster through the air!  King K. Rool is getting stomped on, and Captain Falcon is not showing mercy!  King K. Rool shows one last stand by cuffing Captain Falcon across the face, but Falcon is invincible now with rage, and he draws back and fires his fist forwards into K. Rool’s jaw!  A complete knock-out!  King K. Rool topples through the air and lands in the sand like a lifeless lump of vegetation, out of commission!  GW: 0% CF: 14%   G: 28%   KK: 0%

SC: Falcon’s obviously at a disadvantage, and Ganondorf rushes in to end this right now!  He goes for the killer kick with his Wizard’s Foot attack, sliding across the sand with the power of a dozen punches behind him!  Falcon somehow senses the oncoming attack, and springs into the air, flipping backwards right over his attacker!  What a dodge!  As Ganondorf turns to recover, Captain Falcon places a perfect roundhouse kick right into the side of Ganondorf’s jaw, knocking the Gerudo King across the sand like a flightless bird!  Ganondorf hits the sand and rolls, not about to take his hit with a grain of salt.  He runs at his enemy again, powering up a life-threatening punch, but Captain Falcon side-steps the blow again, smashing Ganondorf in the face with his foot from behind!  Captain Falcon is JUST too acrobatic and strong to be dealt with like the typical small-fry!  He’s taken the momentum right out of Ganondorf’s hands and stuck it in his own pocket, and the crowd loves it!   CF: 14%   G: 10%

PY: I don’t know, Joe, there’s a lot of people who came to root on Ganondorf–they may be angry if he loses to Falcon from starting at such an advantage...

SC: I hope not, because Captain Falcon JUST COMBINED A TRIP AND A FLYING KICK TOGETHER TO SEND GANONDORF FACE FIRST INTO THE SAND, OUT OF THE MATCH!  This battle is over, and so is the season, as Captain Falcon takes the game with a simple dodge and reversal!  What a beauty of a move that was!  Captain Falcon is our 2004 All-Star, as he rightly should be, I suppose.

PY: Well, this has truly been an amazing season, and I’d like to thank all our supporters who have been through the season with us!  We hope you’ll join us again next year for the 2005 Yoshi Stadium Mini-Monster Tournament, as well as some special All-Star matches featuring our classic combatants, commentated by Fierce Deity!  That’s it for this season, and thanks for sticking around to watch the grand finale!  This is Pirate Yoshi saying, “Amazing Things are always happening here at Yoshi Stadium,” and, “Victory doesn’t come cheap!”

SC: What’s next year’s phrase?

PY: How about, “Always wear pants when squishing tomatoes, or-...”

SC: Pirate, that’s really lame.

PY: ...then maybe we’ll need to host a CONTEST and have FANS send in what they think should be the 2005 catchphrase and post the winning catchphrase on NEW YEAR’S DAY!

SC: ...that wasn’t just a side-thought, was it?

PY: Everyone reading can send their best catchphrase for 2005 here.
All-Star Battle: 2004