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| Battle 10: Intergalactic Affairs |
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| PY: Hi, everyone, and welcome to yet another startling Yoshi Stadium battle, the tenth of the season, in fact! Last time, we saw a bunch of brutes go at it to prove who was top-notch in the land of goons; this time, however, we’ll be witnessing a dangerous mission involving a interplanetary trio who will be duking it out without the lasers, without the star ships, without the spacecraft, and–the best part–without rules. This being not just a game, but a mission, we’ll be playing the match with the rules of war: in other words, all’s fair. Before we jump over to the top of the Great Fox for today’s match (being telecast via satellite), though, let’s check with my comrade, Slow Joe Crow, for some updates on the season. Joe? SC: Hi, Pirate, and welcome, everyone, to the tenth battle of the season. To summarize how the stats are comparing, I’m going to quickly run through the season and calculate what all these fighters have so far accomplished for 2004, and who the top leaders are coming into the final stretch here. In Battle 1, Mario, Link, and Pikachu went head-to-head-to-head, but it was (surprisingly) Link who came out on top, earning him a 1-0 record, the first fighter of 2004 to obtain such a statistic, while Mario dropped to a 0-1, being the first out of the match; not a great way for a last-season champ to start out, eh? In Battle 2, Good and Evil clashed in an epic fight that pitted last-battle rivals Mario and Link together on a team against their arch enemies, Bowser and Ganondorf. Together, however, the heroes were not strong enough to overcome the evildoers, and Bowser and Ganondorf walked all over the two, trampling Mario’s record further into the dust, negating Link’s first win, and putting the two uglies into first for the season. Battle 3 saw ex-referee Captain Falcon defeat Samus Aran in a fast-paced, no-mercy match, and Battle 4 was the return of the plumber, where Mario came back only to lose to Kirby, dropping his record to an 0-3 run, a miserable start that may be considered the ultimate doom for his season. Battle 5 was a little messy as Luigi, Link, and Yoshi went to business, but the Linkster came out again on top, restoring his positive record (2-1). Samus Aran bounced back to overcome several women and Wario in Battle 6, and Mario and Captain Falcon held a side and defeated their alter-egoes in Battle 7, adding to Falcon’s 1-0 record and negating one of Mario’s losses. In Battle 8, nothing really got accomplished between DK and his grandfather, but if anyone may have won, we’d have to call the match in favor of the referee, Captain Blue, and his Henshin-a-go-going powers. Battle 9 was just last week’s, and boy was it rough! In the end, however, King K.Rool took the bull (Bowser?) By the horns and added a win to his count. PY: Sounds like a solid season thus far, and it’s only about to get better. But first, let’s explain the rules of today’s match? SC: Rules? I thought we weren’t having any! PY: Now, Joe, EVERY match has rules, silly! Just some rules are more...not present than others! For example, in this match, the goal will be to detonate a remote mine somewhere on one of the several mine targets, located all over the ship. Each combatant will be armed with 5 mines, but can easily obtain more from a standby source, such as the helpful people we’ve had propelled into space to fall into orbit around the ship. Mines require five seconds of un-interrupted wait time before they will go off, and when they do, we’ll be able to clearly tell who set the mine, based on the color of the blast. Lastly, these mines make DANDY weapons, so if any one of these guys gets a mine stuck on their face...they can kiss their head good bye. SC: Isn’t that kind of difficult to do? PY: Now, then, our referee, King Boo, is checking to ensure all our fighters are in place–they appear to be–and he blows the whistle! GAME ON! SC: This is like Star Wars all over again! Fox McCloud, arguably the fastest hero in the match, tears off for a mine pad almost immediately, and lets fly with one! It sails through the air, falling right for its target–then explodes in the air, inches above the pad! Captain Falcon blows the smoke off the barrel of his gun and holsters it in a smooth motion, though I’m sure he’ll be needing it for most of the match still. It’s a showdown for the ages! PY: Samus Aran grabs a mine and whips it at Fox in the blink of an eye. It twirls rapidly in the air, and Fox somehow senses it just in time and slips sideways, narrowly dodging it. The mine lands on the surface of the ship, and Fox turns his sights on Samus. Who’s hunting whom, to quote a personal favorite movie... SC: Fox steps closer to Samus, and Captain Falcon believes he can capitalize on the moment by taking down Fox from behind. He races at the furry hero, and Samus detonates the mine JUST as Falcon steps near it, sending him soaring backwards through the air! Fox turns around in surprise from the blast, and the space-suited heroine wastes no time in drawing out her Grapple Beam and snagging Fox with it. She raises him up off the ground, then turns and whips him over the edge of the Great Fox, out into thin air! Samus is THE Power Player in this game! PY: Fox McCloud activates the thrusters in his boots almost instinctively, and he rockets back up within grabbing distance of the nose of the ship, latching on with his gripping fingers. Samus, however, seems to not even be considering the possibility of stomping them; she turns and runs away, in fact. What’s she after? SC: What she needs to win: a mine target! Spying one near by, she whips out a mine and tosses it neatly into the center of the target, where it sits with no one to stop it. Five...four....three.... PY: Captain Falcon has finally rebounded from the blast, and although he’s not in much shape to fight at the moment, he grabs his weapon, takes dead aim, and fires. Samus’s mine explodes, and not a moment too soon to save the game! Samus, however, is advancing on the weary Captain Falcon, who handed her a loss earlier this season. She might want some revenge... SC: Raising her cannon, she thrusts it at Falcon’s head, and he weakly raises a hand and catches it, blocking the blow. She makes a fist with her spare hand and slams it into Falcon’s gut, causing him to drop to his knees in pain. With no trouble at all, she pulls free her cannon, then smashes Falcon in the head with it, completely knocking him unconscious. This fight is really being dominated! PY: Fox McCloud is back on his feet, however, and Samus will still need to find five free seconds for her mine to ignite. Tossing one down on the target, she quickly steps defiantly in front of it, as Fox opens up on her. Lasers poor across her body and helmet, yet she ceases to step aside as the seconds begin to tick by. Fox realizes that his lasers are not strong enough to take her down before five seconds are up, and he quickly lowers the gun and races full speed towards her. Samus feels the stillness following the end of laser fire, and draws back to punch her opponent as he barrels down upon her. As Samus punches, however, Fox slides right between her legs, across the roof, snatches the mine as he slides past on his back, then leaps to his feet and throws it away. The mine explodes only feet away from him, throwing him backwards off balance, but leaving him relatively unharmed. Talk about a close call. SC: Yeah, but those were some nice moves by Fox; between Captain Falcon and him, this match may never end! PY: Samus is getting fed up, though, and she’s already totally wrecked Falcon; Fox doesn’t seem to be out of her league, either. SC: Samus grabs up Fox by the neck, but he activates his shield as she does, shocking her with electricity and causing her to drop him again. With a smooth kick, he takes out her legs from beneath her, dropping her to the ground hard. Fox grabs a mine out and throws it at the nearby pad, but Samus raises her gun and fires a missile, exploding the mine apart before it can touch the surface. Some restocking may soon be needed... PY: Time to drop some modifiers? SC: Sure looks like it. PY: Allow me. (Pirate pulls a lever, and a Boo’s Sheet drops down onto the roof) Ah-ha! New items make me happy! SC: So what happens when someone grabs that? PY: We’ll find out in a second. Fox snatches the sheet...and turns invisible! Wow, this could really throw a wrench in Samus’s direction! She steps back carefully, knowing that her enemy could be now lurking anywhere... Then, she tumbles forwards without warning, knowing that she has been attacked from behind. Something whips past her head, and she knows without looking that it is a mine. Fox has one left, and Samus is tracking its movement everywhere as it floats away across the surface of the ship, searching for a pad. SC: If Fox had no mine, then he’d be impossible to-.....follow... PY: Ladies and gentlemen, Fox has just thrown away his last mine, making himself impossible to now find. Samus is at a loss; the moment Fox restocks on mines, he can be on the other side of the ship, protecting a mine that has sat unnoticed behind his cloaked body for four seconds. Stealthily, Samus steps towards the center-most part of the ship, then changes visors to track any traces of heat given off by her furry foe. As she suspects, it causes slight traces of heat to appear, and as weak as the signals are, she chases them down. SC: She’s followed what she believes to be Fox to the far end of the ship, where he’s recovering his mine supply from a pick-up crate. Samus raises her weapon, charging, then fires; her blast hits something, and before he knows it, Fox is airborne, flying through the air in his invisible state. Samus switches back to her combat visor, having done her duty. PY: Fox manages to stay aboard the Great Fox, and time has run out for the first half! So far, no one has been capable of completing the task, but Samus appears to be dangerously close to winning time and time again. How will things change in the second half? Find out after this, but don’t miss our halftime show with Bomber Link, coming up next! ********** PY: Welcome to our halftime show, everyone, and hello again, Bomber Link! BLink: Hi. PY: ......thank you, Bomber Link, and we'll now return to our Half-time show! BLink: HEY! ********** PY: Time to begin the second half here at our satellite station, and as we’re watching this battle unfold, it’s looking more and more like a stalemate with every passing minute! Slow Joe, care to comment? SC: Yeah, Pirate, I certainly do. I think the real problem here is that all three of these fighters are strong, tactical fighters. None of them are particularly reckless, and most of them have a strong record in the history of combat tournaments. In short, they’re all just too similar to each other. This is like a stick, a branch, and a limb going at it, and so long as they’re fighting, we won’t be seeing a whole lot of mistakes or amazements. PY: You make it sound like too many good fighters is a bad thing. SC: I don’t mean to give that impression off, but I suppose that’s true. If you don’t have some colorful styles out there, and some difference in approach, then you get a lot of fighting that just negates what everyone else is doing! Someone like Mario or Ganondorf would have been a good addition to this fight. Heck, Mr. Game & Watch, with his head-popping antics, would have been a nice change of pace! PY: Well, we can certainly hope for some new tricks to come out in the second half, Joe, and it looks like King Boo is ready to set the game rolling again. Captain Falcon has revived over halftime and will be rejoining the fight. Poor guy might be at something of a disadvantage, if he’s still woozy. King Boo has given the word–this match is on again! SC: Samus throws her only mine away, then turns and restocks right away; that was a smart way to start out the second half, eh? PY: So long as Fox and Captain Falcon don’t totally tear her to shreds while she restocks. Captain Falcon looks a little wobbly, and it doesn’t take Fox more than a moment to lay a smack-down on him. Looks like this just wasn’t his match. Samus has restocked, and rolls into Morph Ball form as Fox races towards her. Laying a bomb, she rolls aside as Fox steps right into the explosive and takes damage from its blast. Samus unfolds and lands a perfect kick on a stunned Fox, sending him toppling backwards off the Great Fox! He grabs the edge again and pulls himself up, but realizes as he does so that Samus has set a mine on a target. He draws his blaster and fires, but Samus steps in front of the shots, defending her mine. Fox makes a last-ditch dive for the mine, but Samus uses her Cork Screw attack to pummel Fox backwards as he draws close enough to disrupt the mine. As the two land, the mine goes off, sending showers of red flames spewing everywhere. This match is OVER, and Samus Aran is the winner! SC: Wow, not long into the second half before we’ve decided the game! That was quick. PY: Samus probably worked that plan out during halftime. From the looks of things, only Fox really stood in her way, and she was weary of all his tactics by halftime. It took a lot of battling, but we all know that victory doesn’t come cheap, and we’ll definitely be seeing more of the same slogan next round, when Ness, Young Link, and Baby Mario take each other on in a contest of the toddlers! Which kid will be the next Karate Kid? Find out next time, only here on Yoshi Stadium! SC: And Slow Joe Crow’s Outpost! PY: ....um, what? Joe, you never told me you were opening your own website...and you DEFINITELY never asked if you could post our battles there! SC: Well, I don’t see your name on them! PY: Look, right here to the left! SC: .....awwwww, NUTS! |