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| Battle 15: Rookie Rumble, Part 2 |
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| PY: Hi, everyone, and welcome to the second round of our Rookie Rumble! Our second set of rookies, who are about to square off today, are Samus, Baby Luigi, Waluigi, Ness, and Blood Falcon! What a gang, wouldn't you agree, Slow Joe?
SC: I definitely would, Pirate. We've got a baby, a sniveling stringbean man, a kid, an evil clone, and a decked-out bounty hunter! What could possibly happen when they all collide in battle? PY: A lame YS battle would probably happen, Joe. Our referee is Toad today, and our arena has changed to inside Luigi's Mansion! Ready....set....go! SC: The carnage begins as Samus charges up and fires a huge shot right into Waluigi, who is at point-blank range! Waluigi flies through the air and crashes into the wall, sending chunks of wood and plaster everywhere! What a way to start the day! S: 100% BL: 100% W: 81% N: 100% BF: 100% PY: Indeed, Joe. Blood Falcon draws his weapon and fires, but Samus feels the blast coming before it has even arrived, and she dodges the lasers as if in slow motion, narrowly twisting right past them! She counters with a missile, which explodes into Blood Falcon and sends him tumbling over and over on the floor! Samus is just indestructable down there, with these sort of rookies she's taking on! S: 100% BL: 100% W: 81% N: 100% BF: 79% SC: Ness uses his psychic powers to unleash PK Fire against Samus, successfully lighting her on fire for a moment as she stumbles backwards out of the pillar of flames! She fires back at him with her Power Beam, but Ness uses his PK Magnet to instead reverse the damaging shot into energy, although he doesn't need it at all--he's still going at full health! S: 96% BL: 100% W: 81% N: 100% BF: 79% PY: You know who else has full health still is Baby Luigi! Oh, but I think I've spoken too soon, because Waluigi, out of sheer nastiness, turns around and kicks the poor baby, making Luigi cry! What a meanie! S: 96% BL: 91% W: 81% N: 100% BF: 79% SC: He's not getting away with it, though, as Blood Falcon fires his blasters repeatedly into his back! Waluigi is pelted with lasers and falls over on his face! Samus, however, runs up to Blood Falcon and delivers a strong smash to his face with her arm cannon! Metal-on-skin can't feel good, especially when Samus is swinging as hard as she can! S: 96% BL: 91% W: 62% N: 100% BF: 60% PY: Ness goes to attack Samus, but Baby Luigi has staggered over and grabs Ness's ankle, tripping him up. Before he can get back to his feet, Samus turns and uses her Grapple Beam to snag Ness and drag him up close and personal! She whips him across the arena into the wall! Oof! S: 96% BL: 91% W: 62% N: 90% BF: 60% SC: Baby Luigi looks like the weakest fighter down there, and as he tries to attack Samus, I can only feel bad that he got stuck in this match. His puny slaps don't even penetrate Samus's metallic armor, and she only looks down in mild amusement at him. Poor kid. Samus picks him up carefully, with little resistance, and places him in the corner, gentley. This is no place for a kid to fight! PY: But Ness is keeping up pretty well! He has gotten back to his feet, and uses his PK Lightning to zap Blood Falcon from behind, giving him a shocking surprise! Before Blood Falcon can retaliate, however, Waluigi jumps in and kicks them both with a long-legged split kick! I didn't know he was that flexible! S: 96% BL: 91% W: 62% N: 83% BF: 47% SC: He's not. Waluigi is in pain and agony from that, and I don't think he's going to be much of a threat for the rest of the fight. As he grips his crotch and staggers for safety, Blood Falcon leaps at him and uppercuts him right into the air before delivering a potent kick that knocks the skinny villain right through the air! Poor Waluigi just doesn't get a fair shake. S: 96% BL: 91% W: 40% N: 83% BF: 47% PY: Samus aims her cannon and fires a missile directly into Ness, spilling him backwards like a rag doll. She fires several more shots, but Ness throws up his PK Magnet and restores HP instead. S: 96% BL: 91% W: 40% N: 72% BF: 47% SC: Blood Falcon picks up the innocent Baby Luigi, grins, then hurls him THROUGH A DOOR AND DOWN A STAIRCASE INTO THE BASEMENT! The baby's screams echo back up the stairway, along with a large whomp-like sound, and I think it's safe to call Baby Luigi out of the match. Being thrown through a door and down a staircase into the basement is as close to going "out of the arena" as possible, wouldn't you agree? S: 96% BL: 0% W: 40% N: 72% BF: 47% PY: Even if he could recover, there's no way he'll make it back up to the arena, so he's definitely out of the match. Just as well, I imagine--he wasn't strong enough to take anyone on, so he'd eventually be taken down one way or another. But, that was pretty evil of Blood Falcon to do... SC: Waluigi grabs Ness by the shirt, turns, and throws him down, only to have Ness return to his feet, grab Waluigi by the suspenders, and heave him backwards through the air in revenge! Waluigi hits, but instead, gets up and skip-kicks into Ness, delivering a crush blow with his knee that makes the poor kid crumple over! They're just trading blows down there! S: 96% W: 32% N: 59% BF: 47% PY: Think anyone should take on Samus? SC: Blood Falcon jumps her from behind, but Samus throws the lanky clone off with ease, then levels her arm cannon and blasts him with her Power Beam! Samus Aran seems to be pretty untouchable! S: 96% W: 32% N: 59% BF: 41% PY: Ness draws his baseball bat and cracks Waluigi in the stomach with it, making the gangly villain slump to the ground in pain. With this rare opportunity, Ness charges up his PK Flash, then slowly lets the bolt travel through the air towards Samus...if he remains undisturbed for just a second longer, he could have her with a perfect shot! S: 96% W: 20% N: 59% BF: 41% SC: ....KA-BOOM! He unleashes the blast, and Samus Aran is caught right in the back with the full force of the attack, taking massive damage from the incredible energy burning into the back of her Varia Suit! Holy crap! I think some of her suit's features are malfunctioning! Look at the smoke coming off of her! She's been heavily damaged by that attack! S: 60% W: 20% N: 59% BF: 41% PY: Waluigi manages to use his free leg to kick Ness's feet out from under him, sending the psy-boy onto the ground hard! Before Ness can stand, Waluigi hops into the air and performs a ground-rocking pile driver attack with his bony elbow! OUCH! I guess it doesn't pay to attack the leader for the team, eh? S: 60% W: 20% N: 42% BF: 41% SC: Samus wraps into her Morph Ball form, rolls across the floor, and stops beside Blood Falcon, laying a Morph Ball Bomb. Blood Falcon turns hastily and punts Morph Ball Samus away, but can't evade the blast from the bomb and takes the hit. Samus, however, crashes against the wall and returns to normal form, unable to make use of her Morph Ball any longer due to damages. She's starting to feel the effects of a long battle. S: 50% W: 20% N: 42% BF: 33% PY: Waluigi runs at Blood Falcon and slides across the floor, slide-tackling the red-suited foe and flipping him onto the ground with relative ease! Samus Aran gains her payback by firing her Ice Beam...encasing Blood Falcon in a huge shield of ice! He's completely immobile, although relatively unharmable, as well. That said, however, he's gonna sit out for the rest of the match until he's thawed out! He could lose some valuable opportunities now that he's been put on ice! S: 50% W: 20% N: 42% BF: 13% SC: Ness has advanced upon Samus, and using his yo-yo skills, he zips the makeshift weapon around her blocking hands like lightning, pegging her in her weaker spots with deadly accuracy, yet blistering speed. He bounces one off her helmet, cracking her visor, then wraps the toy-tool around her legs and pulls them right out from under her! Samus hits the ground, and Ness zips the yo-yo back into his hand to go for the kill, a direct hit in the center of her visor, but Samus raises her arm cannon and blasts him with a wave of flames before he can make his move! Ness staggers backwards, rolling across the ground to extinguish the flames that have caught on his shirt. S: 25% W: 20% N: 31% BF: 13% PY: Oh, maybe the flames weren't such a good idea? The fire flickers across Blood Falcon's icey prison, and the melting process speeds up. With much difficulty, Blood Falcon manages to break free his arm, shattering ice everywhere! Now he's got a tool to concentrate on breaking the rest of himself out! SC: Just like that, Ness is in the lead! Waluigi attacks the child genius from behind, but Ness fends him off savagely. Samus leaps into the air behind him, however, and delivers a hard flying kick that sends Ness reeling! Before Waluigi can react, Samus draws back and pounds him with her cannon, sending his limp body soaring backwards in the air as if he's been shot with a cannonball! He hits the ground, but isn't done yet! S: 25% W: 2% N: 22% BF: 13% PY: Blood Falcon, now clutching his blaster in his free hand, fires a storm of lasers at Samus Aran, protected by his icy cover still. Samus ducks and dives around as many lasers as possible before diving to the ground and rolling aside for evasion. She did a pretty good job of avoiding most of those, but it's impossible to escape something like that without a few scratches, and she just took hers... S: 18% W: 2% N: 22% BF: 13% SC: Ness unleashes a powerful blast of PK Fire on the iced Blood Falcon, finally freeing him entirely. Blood Falcon turns to attack, but Ness already has his yo-yo sleeping away. As Blood Falcon makes his move, the yo-yo springs to life, twirling like a crazed, blood-thirsty creature on a string, and it wraps around Blood Falcon's arms, jerking him forwards off balance and sending him tumbling to the ground. Before he can get up, the yo-yo snaps back, then launches forwards again, smashing against his chest and skipping off his chin repeatedly, driving him back to the floorboards. Just as Falcon rushes for his feet, the yo-yo makes its final assault and smashes into his forehead, knocking him silly right between his eyes. Blood Falcon reels dizzily and tumbles over on his face, out of the match! Ness snaps his yo-yo back again with ease--that's some mad skill there! S: 18% W: 2% N: 22% BF: 0% PY: Unfortunately for him, Ness doesn't see Waluigi dive at him from behind! Waluigi tackles Ness onto the floor, then smacks him with a hard punch before leaping away as Ness launches a PK Flash into the air, igniting the area around him in electrical flames. Narrow miss for Waluigi! S: 18% W: 2% N: 12% SC: Samus Aran runs in to finish things up, but only kicks at the same time as Ness looks up at her and sends a PK Fire into her visor, severely burning her! Both sides retreat in pain, although Samus took the heavier damage in that scenerio. S: 3% W: 2% N: 8% PY: Single-digit HP remains! Waluigi sneaks up on Ness and delivers a sweepign kick, but Ness hops it just at the last second, spinning in the air, and counters with a baseball bat to Waluigi's head, sending him spiraling through the air before he hits the turf, out of the match! It's a showdown... S: 3% N: 8% SC: Samus draws her Power Beam and fires like lightning, hoping to end the match. Ness throws up his PK Magnet and restores some health from the attacks instead. Looks like this will require a better approach than rapid-fire fighting. S: 3% N: 12% PY: Samus runs close and leaps, and Ness jumps to meet her with a kick. Samus shifts in the air at the last second, letting Ness glide past her with a perfect kick that barely misses, then the bounty hunter lands and leaps backwards through the air, using her Space Boots to glide horizontally after her enemy. Ness barely has time to turn before Samus launches a backwards kick from the air, sending him toppling to the ground! He picks himself up quickly, as Samus lands, but acts brashly as he charges with his baseball bat outstretched, looking for a final, conclusive hit! Samus launches into her Screw Attack just as Ness extends the weapon, and Samus picks him right off the ground with her attack and jolts him crazily with her rapid electrical assault. Seconds later, Ness is spewn away, hitting the ground and losing the last of his HP. This game's winner is SAMUS ARAN, who lands without another scratch at all! S: 3% N: 0% SC: Wow, Pirate, that was one of the closest matches we've seen in....FOREVER! PY: I know, Joe, but just remember this: victory doesn't come cheap! SC: How could I forget? PY: You most certainly won't after our next match, in which our simplest fighters, Kirby and Mr Game & Watch, go head to head in a hard-fought frenzy that is pure destructive mayhem, with the absolute minimum amount of fancy moves or cheap tactics! If I can guarantee one thing to our audience, it's that this next match will be the same old-school, run-of-the-mill mayhem that so many of our matches are famous for! Thanks for coming, everyone, and we hope to see you again in our next Yoshi Stadium battle! SC: I'd hope to see a pizza. PY: I'd hope to see your mom. What's the difference? SC: Um, I can eat pizza, and you can't eat my mom? PY: ...that's what they told Hannibal Lector... |
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