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| Battle 16: Simplistic Sprawl |
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| PY: Welcome back to all our fans, and thanks for joining us for the sixteenth Yoshi Stadium battle of 2004! We're reporting live from Clocktown, where this simple fight is going to get massively complex! Joe? SC: Hi, Pirate, and welcome to everyone else! This match will be all about the stronger, better fighter of the two, and not about cheap calls, clever moves, and random twists of fate. And I think it's also safe to say that neither of these two fighters have gotten where they are today simply by luck. PY: I'd say you're right, Joe, because both Kirby and Mr. Game & Watch, today's combatants, have worked excessively hard all season long to ensure that they're strong, swift, and smooth with the moves! There's only one sure-fire way to win one of these battles, Joe, and that's to simply outfight the opponent...and that's the point at which both of these fighters excel at! SC: I'm certainly sure that you're right, Pirate. Our referee, Goomba, blows the whistle, and we're off on another crazy battle! K: 100% GW: 100% PY: The two carefully size each other up, knowing that a hasty move could be an immediate disadvantage. Mr. Game & Watch takes a cautious step forwards, brandishing his frying pan, and Kirby SUCKS HIM UP like a holiday ham! The first blow has been landed...or, as the case may be, the first suck. K: 100% GW: 94% SC: Don't ever say that again. PY: Kirby exhales the little 2D man across the arena, but not before copying his sausage-tossing ability! Game & Watch takes damage from both the inhalation and the return trip, but he's back on his feet in a quick fashion, ready for more. K: 100% GW: 90% SC: Mr. Game & Watch dashes quickly at the puffball and slides at him with his spindly legs, but Kirby puffs into the air and floats over his opponent with ease. He made that look all too easy, Pirate. PY: And as he lands, Kirby sends a kick backwards at Game & Watch's head, connecting solidly with a strong hit that sends Mr. Game & Watch reeling forwards! Kirby's so far dominating the match, but he's got a long ways to go for the win still! K: 100% GW: 82% SC: Kirby steps at Mr. Game & Watch, and the powerful little fighter suddenly counters the pink hero's attack with a surprise kick of his own, knocking Kirby back with an abrupt sweep of his foot! Kirby stumbles, having taken a surprising blow, but regains his balance with ease. As Mr. Game & Watch hops to his feet to continue the fight, Kirby side-steps the attack, and returns the blow with a sharp smash of his hammer, knocking Game & Watch sprawling again! One thing's for sure, Kirby's a dangerous force when he's up close and personal. K: 91% GW: 71% PY: Game & Watch is back to his feet immediately, but the copy-cat Kirby is quick to use Game & Watch's own powers against him, smashing him in the face with his stolen frying pan ability! Game & Watch tumbles down on the ground, and rolls aside just in time to elude a dangerous drill kick intended for his head! K: 91% GW: 58% SC: He may have dodged the bullet that time, but Kirby immediately coughs up the power, in the shape of a star, and fires it off into Game & Watch, knocking him back to the ground yet again! Kirby is just whipping him mad down there! K: 91% GW: 50% PY: Now that he's got his enemy down to half health, Kirby's on fire! He assaults Game & Watch immediately with a series of sharp, rapid blows, forcing him backwards, then slides under an attack and wipes the poor little stick figure right off the ground! Before Game & Watch can even recover, Kirby has him by the neck, then flings him up and straight down into the ground with his high-speed pile-driving throw! Damage abounds! K: 91% GW: 27% SC: Game & Watch weakly fends off another Kirby assault with his Flag Man ability, whapping the Warp Star Knight with his measly flag, causing minor damage. It's not enough to stop the rampaging Pop Star resident, however, and Kirby is quick to extend a parasol and-....WAIT! Where'd he get that from? K: 84% GW: 20% PY: Goomba blows the whistle, and we've got a penalty on Kirby for illegal use of a weapon obtained through an unverified source! Where did he get that from, Joe? SC: I *THINK* it was thrown in from someone in the audience, and he just grabbed it and used it. Kirby is always resourceful, after all, so he probably just grabbed it when he saw it, without considering where it came from. PY: Well, that won't be saving him from being penalized--he used it, so he's guilty of the penalty, alright! But, what will his punishment be? SC: Goomba leads Kirby to the sidelines, instructing him to stand still. Kirby obeys, confused, and Goomba quickly pulls up a cannon, aims it directly at Kirby, then loads himself in. A match flickers on and extends out the back, lighting the fuse, and Kirby only now realizes what his punishment is... PY: BANG! Goomba fires out of the cannon like a compact, toothy cannonball and screams right into Kirby, sending him flying upon impact! Well, that just made up for whatever damage he caused Mr. Game & Watch with that parasol! Kirby tumbles over and over across the ground, but staggers back to his feet in short order. The game resumes! K: 61% GW: 20% SC: Mr. Game & Watch goes for the kill with his frying pan extended, but Kirby draws a concealed cutter out of seemingly nowhere and grazes his opponent with it, knocking back his foe with its after-slash. Before Game & Watch can retaliate, Kirby puffs into a balloon and floats high above his head, ominously hovering just above him... K: 61% GW: 15% PY: Here it comes...KIRBY DROPS AS A ROCK RIGHT DOWN ON MR. GAME & WATCH.....AND HE DODGES THE ATTACK! Just when this game looked over, Mr. Game & Watch eludes his loss, and now has an open opportunity to attack! SC: He grabs out a flaming match and waits, powering the attack, and as Kirby returns to his normal form, Mr. Game & Watch unleashes the attack, and Kirby is SCORCHED for massive damage! This one's actually coming down to a real nail-biter, with some big hits being made by Mr. Game & Watch when they count the most! K: 38% GW: 15% PY: Kirby scrambles for safety as he extinguishes his flaming body, but turns just in time to be slammed by Game & Watch's helmeted head, which sends him soaring again into the air! Kirby twirls helplessly and begins to fall, and Game & Watch readies his trampoline to inflict some additional damage! Kirby falls closer...then suddenly twirls like a ninja star, and chops into Game & Watch with his extended little feet and hands, knocking Game & Watch out of his chance to attack! The fight continues still! K: 20% GW: 11% SC: Game & Watch goes for the victory and flings his sewer cover up at the puffball, but Kirby slips right around it, with some fancy footwork, and leaps into the air, lunging at Game & Watch! Game & Watch extends his parachute to strike first, and Kirby weilds out his hammer as the two collide in the final hit of the match! BOTH sides take the hits and go down...BUT ONLY KIRBY STANDS BACK UP! KIRBY IS THE WINNER OF OUR SIMPLISTIC SPRAWL! K: 7% GW: 0% PY: To be fair, however, Mr. Game & Watch really made a tremendous comeback, nearly winning this thing from an impossible deficit! I don't think I've seen anyone make such a great stride as this in all my life! SC: Yes, and Kirby nearly lost this match on that final hit! He escapes with the win, but at a heavy price of HP! PY: Well, Joe, if anybody knows that victory doesn't come cheap here at Yoshi Stadium, I'm sure you do. And next time, we'll find out just how expensive victory can be, because it will take FOUR KOs in order for our lucky winner to achieve victory! That's right, Mario and Luigi, their baby selves, and Link, will be competing against each other for the honor of being the REAL Hero of Time! That's it for this week, however! Join us next time, here on Yoshi Stadium! SC: Now, see, I don't get it. Why is it that Baby Mario and Baby Luigi are in this fight, but Baby Link isn't? PY: Joe, there's no Baby Link- SC: Oh, come on! Link HAS to have been a baby at some point! Remember Ocarina of Time??? PY: Joe, Link wasn't a baby in that, he was TEN YEARS OLD! SC: Age is all in the mind, Pirate. PY: You have the mind of a two year old. Wow, I guess you're right! |
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