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| FD: Hello everyone, and welcome to yet another Yoshi Stadium battle! Pirate Yoshi wasn’t able to make it today do to a severe overdose on jelly beans, but never fear because I’m ready and raring to fill in for him. Coincidentally, Slow Joe Crow was hit by a bus that same afternoon and won’t be ready to come back until the next battle. Filling in for him today will be my good friends Yaka and Waka. So guys, how've you been? Yaka: I’d rather not talk about it. Waka: Don’t worry about him Fierce; he’s still upset about the chainsaw that went into his head the other week. He’ll be fine. FD: Alright then, I guess it’s about time to announce what today’s battle is all about. Yaka: You do that...... FD: I will! Anyway…..we’ve gathered here at Hyrule Castle for a battle between four classic Nintendo heavyweights. First onto the field is none other than Nintendo’s main man….Mario! Waka: Oooh….is he famous? FD: …….are you serious? Waka: Am I missing something here? Yaka: Yeah…a brain! Now give it a rest so he can announce the rest of the people. FD: Moving on…..the second contender onto the field is today’s oldest contender….Mr. Game and Watch! Waka: He doesn’t look old……. Yaka: Your idiocy never ceases to amaze me! FD: Alright, that’s it! I’m gonna do the SHORT version of this intro! Today’s contenders are Mario, Link, Mr. Game and Watch, and Donkey Kong. Aside from serving as my co-host, Yaka will also serve as our referee. Although the likelihood of these guys playing dirty is slim, it’s better to be safe than sorry. As usual, the contenders will be beating the living snot out of each other. Also, weapons have been placed out there for their enjoyment……or would that be our enjoyment? Anyway, the last person standing wins. Now then, let’s start the battle! Waka: Look at them rush out onto the field! Um…why are they beating on each other? FD: THAT’S THE WHOLE POINT!!!!! Yaka: I told you not to invite him…. FD: Keep your eye on the battle Yaka; you wouldn’t want to miss anything important. Yaka: Well, it appears that Link has grabbed the stick of dynamite we left out there. He quickly lights it and throws it towards Donkey Kong. Donkey Kong instinctively catches it, and the dynamite proceeds to blow up in his face. That’s gotta hurt! M: 100% L: 100% DK: 80% MGAW: 100% FD: Donkey Kong doesn’t seem very happy, and is now charging towards Link like a freight train. However, Mario quickly dashes in and jumps on Donkey Kong’s head, causing him to hit the ground hard. M: 100% L: 100% DK: 70% MGAW: 100% Yaka: What’s this? Mario and Link just gave each other a high-five. Have these two formed some sort of temporary alliance against the big ape? FD: It sure does look that way! Waka: When’s the old guy going to do something? Does he have some kind of plan? Yaka: I don’t know, but the giant rocket launcher he’s aiming may be some kind of clue…. Waka: You’re so smart! Yaka: No, you’re just stupid. FD: Whatever Mr. Game and Watch is planning, it’s sure to disrupt any plans Mario and Link have. Donkey Kong finally gets back up and charges at Mario. Mario quickly notices DK and begins running towards him. Just before the two collide, Mr. Game and Watch launches his only rocket at them and blows them clear into the stratosphere. Mr. Game and Watch then discards the useless rocket launcher and begins heading towards Link. After a few minutes, Mario and Donkey Kong finally fall from the sky and hit the ground with a bone-shattering impact. M: 50% L: 100% DK: 20% MGAW: 100% Waka: Hmm….that looks kinda painful. Yaka: DK and Mario will definitely be feeling that in the morning! FD: You got that right Yaka! Yaka: It now appears that DK and Mario have put aside their differences to launch an attack on Mr. Game and Watch. At the moment, Mr. Game and Watch is pummeling Link over the head with the Mona Lisa. FD: How’d that get here? Shouldn’t that be in some sort of museum? Yaka: Who knows, but Mr. Game and Watch is definitely making good use of it as a weapon! M: 50% L: 90% DK: 20% MGAW: 100% Waka: When’s halftime? I’m getting kinda hungry…. FD: There is no halftime. Due to economic cutbacks, we had to get rid of it. In fact, we even sold Bomber Link to help pay the bills. Waka: Are you serious? FD: No, the halftime shows weren’t cancelled; there just won’t be one during this battle. As for selling Bomber Link, you can decide the truth behind that one. Yaka: Anyway......as Link recovers from being beaten with the Mona Lisa, Mario has managed to get a few hits off on Mr. Game and Watch as DK holds him in a tight headlock. FD: What’s this!? It seems that Mr. Game and Watch has clipped a land mine onto Donkey Kong’s tie! Yaka: Mario notices the land mine and immediately begins running in the opposite direction. Donkey Kong begins running around like a chicken with its head cut off trying to remove the land mine. The timer on the mine goes off, and Donkey Kong gets blown away. M: 50% L: 90% DK: 0% MGAW: 90% FD: Who would have that that a high powered explosive would be enough to take out the big ape? Waka: Not me! Yaka: My hatred for you just keeps increasing as this battle goes on….. FD: Looks like it’s down to just Mario, Link, and Mr. Game and Watch now! Link is already on the move towards Mr. Game and Watch, and it looks like Mario is ready to attack from the other side! This could quickly turn into a one sided battle if Mario and Link decide to team up against Mr. Game and Watch. Yaka: You got that right Fierce! Mario runs towards Mr. Game and Watch at full speed as Link unsheathes his sword and prepares to attack. With Link still charging at full speed, Mario tackles Mr. Game and Watch and begins pummeling him in the face. As Mario continues to assault Mr. Game and Watch, Link runs by with his shield and wallops Mario in the head with it. M: 30% L: 90% MGAW: 80% FD: I can’t believe my eyes! Is Link trying to defend Mr. Game and Watch? Yaka: Whatever his reasoning may be, Link just dealt Mario a heavy blow! FD: Mario rubs his head as he stumbles to his feet. Leaving little time for Mario to react, Mr. Game and Watch whips out a frying pan and smashes Mario over the head with it. Meanwhile, Link is running towards Mr. Game and Watch at full speed. As Mario falls to the ground, Mr. Game and Watch turns around just in time to nail Link in the shins with his frying pan. M: 10% L: 80% MGAW: 80% Waka: YAY! I love it when people get hit in the shins! FD: You’re mentally unsafe….. Yaka: You’re just figuring this out now? I’ve known that for years! FD: Anyway……back to the battle. As Link jumps around on one leg to overcome the pain in his shins, Mario slowly turns his neck and lifts his head up from the ground. With one swift motion, Mr. Game and Watch nails Mario in the face again with the frying pan and finishes him off. M: 0% L: 80% MGAW: 80% Yaka: It’s now down to just Link and Mr. Game and Watch, both of which are at an equal amount of health. This is anyone’s match! FD: Link and Mr. Game and Watch stare each other down as they walk along the battlefield. Keeping a very close eye on each other, the two of them wait for the perfect moment to strike. Mr. Game and Watch then pulls a small round object out of his pocket and attaches it to his frying pan with an entire tube of super glue. Yaka: I can’t seem to make out what he just glued to his frying pan…….can you Fierce? FD: I haven’t got a clue what it is, but I’m sure we’ll soon find out! Yaka: Without hesitation, the two of them begin charging towards each other. Aware that Mr. Game and Watch has a plan, Link runs cautiously towards his opponent. Just as the two meet, Mr. Game and Watch slides between Link’s legs and bashes him in the gut with the frying pan. Standing still and recovering from the hard hit, Link soon realizes something bad. The frying pan is still attached. Link looks down at his gut and sees that a lit bomb-omb has been glued to the frying pan, with super glue placed on the other side so that it would stick to Link’s shirt. Link looks up with a look of despair on his face and plugs his ears. Seconds later, the bomb-omb explodes and Link is sent sky-high. Within a few minutes, Link re-enters the atmosphere and lands in the crater that the bomb-omb created. L: 0% MGAW: 80% FD: The winner of today’s battle is MR. GAME AND WATCH!!!! Waka: The old dude won? FD: Yes! The “old dude” won!! Waka: Sweet! Old people are cool! Yaka: While he may have had a few slip-ups, Mr. Game and Watch practically dominated this battle! If only poor Link hadn’t attacked Mario with his shield, perhaps the battle would have ended differently. FD: It’s possible Yaka, but I firmly believe Mr. Game and Watch came into this battle prepared to win. Kudos to Mr. Game and Watch! Waka: Kudos? All he wins is a lousy candy bar? Yaka: No you moron! Kudos means….well…it’s hard to……why won’t you just die? Waka: So why does he only win a candy bar? Seems kinda lame for all that fighting he went through…. Yaka: My hatred for you springs eternal….. Waka: Aww……that’s so poetic. FD: Ah…..brotherly love…….. |
| Battle 18: A Link to the Past....Again |
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