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| Battle 3: Battle of the Bounty Hunters |
| PY: Welcome everyone to tonight's match, and one of the biggest in history! Tonight's match is going to be so huge, it's being held in quite possibly the finest facility not owned by ourselves: The Mushroom Kingdom. It would appear that not only has the entire Toad population come out of their homes tonight to watch, but also every surrounding town, from Hyrule to Onett, and further even! This will definately be a spectacular match, but we've first got to check in with Slow Joe Crow, who's currently giving us a heads-up on how things are sizing up from down on the field. Joe? SC: Hey hey hey, Pirate. Isn't this exciting? Tonight's match will between first-time fighters, long-time rivals Captain Falcon and Samus Aran. In fact, this match is such a huge deal, I'm not even allowed to talk with either of them before the match, lest it throw off their psychological game! Talk about some heavy duty pre-game warmups... But, that won't stop me from giving a miniature pregame show, so I'm going to discuss the officiating that will be going on tonight, since it's also being modified some to keep the rules tight and the game hard. First of all, the time has been cut down to just eight minute halves! This means that there will be no time to hide in corners or rely on cheap weak attacks--the real winner of the fight will have to be bold and quick about their attacks. The second rule that's been modified is that there will be NO outside interference, from anyone--this fight is strictly between these two, and there will be no items or weapons....not that Pirate's much affected by that, he had his item dispensing powers suspended after our last match... The third rule is that a player can be ruled out of the match by PIN tonight, which means that his or her back must be against the ground for five seconds, which will be counted by the judges. There ARE wall pins, and if the pinned player can escape before five seconds are up, the match continues in a normal fashion. Our judges will be a crowd of excited Shy Guys, who seem perhaps a bit *overly* excited about the match, and are scampering everywhere like crazy in preperation. Ah, well...let's just hope that they're organized enough to count straight. Back to you, Pirate! PY: Excellent, Crow. I commend your amazing commentating powers. SC: They are quite superior, even when at a handicap of being kept from the fighters for interviews. PY: Apparently so. The Shy Guys seem to have figured out how to use the whistle. The lead Guy grabs it and blows it....right in the ear of one of his co-referees. I think we're in trouble, Joe. SC: While the Shy Guys bicker angrily amongst themselves, the crowd roars in approval as Samus Aran and Captain Falcon glare across the arena at each other, sizing up against each other. It should be noted that Captain Falcon has a little bit of a height advantage, but he definately looks outarmed--Samus is full of weaponry! Samus springs suddenly and fires a warning shot, but Captain Falcon uses his lightning speed to counter with a shot from his own blaster, and the shots counteract each other, disintergrating in the air between them. The crowd is silent. It's the shot heard 'round the world! S: 100% F: 100% PY: The two circle about slowly, then Captain Falcon makes the first move and begins running towards Samus. Samus takes off immediately, and both race towards the center, closing the gap quickly. I sense a huge collision coming! The tension is so thick, you could cut it with a knife! SC: Captain Falcon lowers his head and smashes into Samus with his shoulder, sending her hurtling backwards to the ground! The first blood has been drawn, and Captain Falcon's powerful football-style human battering ram has scored him the first hit of the match! Samus looks hardly dazed, and floats back to her feet, getting a bit of help from the boosters on her back--she's definately got some fire in her eyes now. Captain Falcon tries to kick her away with his long legs, but she ducks under the first kick, then blocks a second before spinning into the air and delivering a kick of her own, which knocks Captain Falcon backwards through the air! He spirals out of control and tumbles to the ground, but rolls back to his feet almost automatically. Both have taken damage, and neither would like to again. S: 94% F: 95% PY: Captain Falcon draws his gun and fires a rapid stream of shots, and Samus goes into gymnast-mode. Using her acrobatic abilities, she skillfully dips and weaves between the shots before rolling under another and suddenly firing back with a semi-charged shot! Captain Falcon is blasted by the ball of energy and sails backwards to the ground! Oof! S: 94% F: 87% SC: Samus runs in for the kill, but Captain Falcon uses his immense upper-body strength to flip back to his feet before she can come close. He extends his long arms and blocks her blows before she can connect with a single punch. Samus punches left and right, unsuccessfully, before suddenly changing to her Grappling Beam and entangling Falcon in its ghastly grip before he can act. With relative ease, she hoists Falcon into the air, suspending him above the ground with the beam's curious abilities, then flings him suddenly. Captain Falcon hits the ground and bounces, skidding across the turf until he comes to a stop, and it's apparent that the trip has cost him some health. Captain Falcon is a bit slower to get up this time. S: 94% F: 79% PY: Samus rushes in as Captain Falcon is getting to his feet, and goes to pin him to the ground. Before she can strike, however, Captain Falcon uses a sudden burst of energy and fires an attack of his own--a sneak-attack roundhouse kick! Samus is caught off guard by the abrupt attack, and takes the hit right in the helmet! She staggers back a little, shaking the blow off, and Captain Falcon quickly steadies himself again and advances after her. S: 88% F: 79% SC: Samus tries to kick Captain Falcon back, but he easily evades the maneuver, then suddenly lets loose with his Raptor Boost, uppercutting Samus straight into the air with a sudden burst of speed. Samus flips in the air and lands hard on her back many feet away, where she struggles back to her feet again--it's possible that she's wrecked up some of the equipment on her back from that fall. Captain Falcon rushes at her and smacks her with a well-placed elbow, sending her toppling to the turf like a lame rag doll--it seems Captain Falcon has the upperhand finally. S: 69% F: 79% PY: Captain Falcon grabs Samus and pulls her up off of her feet, holding her by the neck in the air--he's not satisfied with a pin, and--besides--she's more than likely too strong still to pin for a KO. Samus squirms in the air, then suddenly uses all her strength to fold herself into a round ball--Captain Falcon drops her as her body suddenly twists out of his grasp. Samus takes the advantage and drops a bomb. It goes off, blasting Captain Falcon with a sudden wave of flames, and Samus springs up in the air from the force of the blast. She quickly shifts back into her normal form as she soars upwards in the air, then delivers a potent kick in midair that strikes Captain Falcon in the side of the head. He flies backwards and smashes through several brick blocks, sending stone scattering everywhere and creating a roar from the crowd, both of cheers and boos. That has to have hurt Captain Falcon at least a little! I mean, NOBODY smashes through bricks and LIKES it... S: 67% F: 60% SC: Captain Falcon struggles to get up, and Samus rushes in and delivers a strong punch with her arm cannon. Captain Falcon goes down, but quickly draws his gun as Samus raises her arm to wail on him again. He fires several times, right in her face, and Samus tumbles backwards to the ground. Her face stings from being pelted with laser fire at point-blank range, and she stumbles to her feet shakely. It would appear that Samus has become Laser Blind--she can't see anything down there, and Captain Falcon has an extreme advantage--if he can take advantage of it in time. S: 59% F: 52% PY: Captain Falcon rushes in to get some hits on Samus, who is blindly swinging in the wrong direction, simply trying to defend herself in hopes that her vision will soon return. She's essentially at his mercy-- SC: What mercy??? Captain Falcon draws back and elbow and smashes it as hard as he can into the defenseless Samus's visor! GLASS GOES FLYING! CAPTAIN FALCON HAS BROKEN SAMUS'S VISOR! OH MY GOSH! S: 46% F: 52% PY: This is mutiliation! Samus's visor has been shattered on one side, and she's definately got a cut or two on her face from the glass! Samus is sprawled on the ground, trying to get to her feet and find somewhere safe to go, but there's nowhere safe to run, and her attemps are sadly futile. As she scrambles wildly for shelter from Falcon's wrath, he approaches again from her side and delivers a hard high kick right in her face! Samus topples over backwards on the ground, flopping like a pierced fish on a spear, and she writhes about for a moment as she struggles to find her footing and run away from her invisible enemy! Falcon waits a moment for her to stumble upright before stomping on one of her feet. As she stumbles, trying to find her attacker and wrench free, Falcon suddenly lays into her with a ferocious elbow attack! He's lain Samus right out on the ground, and she's not showing signs of even making it back to her feet this time! Captain Falcon has completely dominated the entire match just by simply firing his gun at the exact right moment! Samus has no chance, and is completely without vision as Captain Falcon approaches her limp body on the ground, grabs it, then hurls it back to the turf again! There's but one thing that can save Samus now, and it's just come! The whistle blows, and halftime is here. Captain Falcon turns with a disgusted look and marches off the field, leaving Samus lying on the dust, alone and in pain.... S: 4% F: 52% SC: This seems completely unfair and outright awful of Captain Falcon. I mean, taking this match to this sort of length... this could cause permanent damage to someone! PY: Yes, but we must remember our new slogan: Victory doesn't come cheap. Captain Falcon may be taking this to an upper level, but you just simply cannot trust that you'll be able to take mercy on another fighter anymore in this tournament--there's too many odds coming into play to hang up the gloves after a good fight. This is about winning the championship, and nobody can afford to play half-heartedly out here, or they'll be out of the season in no time. Samus's training squad, several Chozos, have taken to the field and are assisting her off as we speak. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the first half of Yoshi Stadium's 2004 tounrmanet's third battle. Please join us for the Half Time Show with Bomber Link, coming right up after this. ********** PY: Hi, everyone, and welcome to the Half Time Show! I'm here, as usual, with our Half Time Host, Bomber Link! Hi, Bomber Link. BLink: Yeah, hello. What a great fight so far! Lots of intense action and domination from the man I placed several bets on- er... anyways... First quesition! PY: First of all, let's hear your opinion--is Captain Falcon taking this to an extreme? BLink: I feel that Captain Falcon is only doing what he needs to do in order to achieve victory over his opponent. If he shows even the slightest bit of mercy, it may come back on him and lead to his defeat in the battle. PY: Can you think of a good example in which Captain Falcon's stratagey is the right one to make? BLink: Well, in a life or death situation I suppose this would work. Or if you are trying to get the last Dorito or Pepsi from your room mate who seems to eat everything in sight. But I belive this is the type of strategy that will lead to this season's winner in this competition. PY: It wasn't going to sound dumb until about two minutes ago, but--who's dominating thus far? BLink: Honestly... PY: Can Samus get back into this round, assuming she regains her vision during Half Time? BLink: Nope. PY: What do each of these fighters need to do better to win? BLink: Well, Samus needs to get a stronger helmet there and learn to walk again and stop getting hit. Falcon just has to lay out one more strong hit or so and victory shall be his. PY: Who takes this one home, in the end? BLink: I highly doubt Samus will be making a come back, so Captain Falcon will definitely come out with the win tonight. PY: Time for one last question: do YOU think I should have gotten that ban from using items in the last match? Because I think it was perfectly justified, personally. I mean, it's not reeeally my fault.... BLink: I believe that the item dropping ability should be given to ME, personally. But I feel that you are the founder of this tournament, and anything you do should be justified and legal. And with that I say good night! And think about that little proposal. PY: ....sure I'll think about it.....Well, thanks for the interview, BL, and we hope to see all of you out there back at the Mushroom Kingdom for the rest of the battle! Stay tuned! ********** PY: Hi, everyone, and welcome to the second half of Battle 3! Now that we've heard Bomber Link's words of wisdom (cough cough), we're going to do a brief overview on today's arena.....the Mushroom Kingdom. Well, Slow Joe, what's there to say about this place? SC: I dunno...I mean, who on earth has ever heard of such a back-woodsy place as this? Seriously! PY: Yes, well, I wouldn't blame anyone out there for never having heard of the Mushroom Kingdom, considering that it has very little publicity in gaming at all, and the only times its appeared in movies, the appearance has worsened its image. While the Mushroom Kingdom is actually quite large, the very center of it--Toad Town--is where we are located today, and Princess Peach's castle is just over the hill nearby, watching over the land peacefully. But I'll never figure out why these mushroom people are named Toads! Do these things look like toads to you? SC: No, I don't see any resemblance at all. And I'd be pretty mift, myself, if someone were to tell me that I were a toad. PY: Yes, very peculiar. But, it looks like Captain Falcon and Samus have taken to the field of battle once again, and we're awaiting the official start, being called by several Shy Guys. Remember, there are but three rules for this match: first, the half will only last eight minutes, two, there will be no interference--darn!--and, three, a player can be pinned for five seconds for a win. And with that, the Shy Guys (who have been fighting over the whistle for the last five minutes) have come to an agreement, and one finally calls the start of the match...by blowing into the wrong side. Who hired these guys, anyways? SC: I haven't a clue. The way things are stacking up, however, we won't be needing them. Samus is 4% of her health, while Captain Falcon possesses an entire 52%! This is definately not a fair start to the round, but at least Samus appears to have regained her vision over halftime. Captain Falcon rushes at her, hoping to obtain a KO early in the second half, but Samus knows what's coming and fires several quick shots at him, pelting him backwards with several connections. Good move on Samus's part, keeping the fight away from herself, but it'll still take a lot to take down Captain Falcon! S: 4% CF: 48% PY: Captain Falcon backs away, regaining his composure, and Samus takes the opportunity to fire a missile! Captain Falcon sprints for a block and dives for cover behind it as the missile explodes against it, hitting him with the blast. He crouches for cover as Samus fires a second, and it shatters the brick block into pieces! Before Falcon can find a new safe spot, he's hit head on with another missile, racking on some serious damage! Samus wants some vengence, and if she's going down, she wants Falcon to feel some pain first! S: 4% CF: 31% SC: Wait, wait....what's this??? The Shy Guys have called a penalty! One is hopping up and down and pointing at Samus urgently, and the others form a quick huddle before agreeing and letting out shrieks and cries explaining the call. Fortunately, I just *happen* to have my Shy-English dictionary here with me..... Interesting, it seems they believe Samus is.......uh........eating fried beach sand with cows on Wednesday..... PY: Give me that! You've got it upside-down! SC: ......oh.......tee hee....... PY: Why, this is idiotic! Apparently, they believe Samus is possessing illegal explosive weapons! SC: What?! That's ludacris! PY: We don't normally talk about some of the finer rules around here with our viewers, but Yoshi Stadium *does* have some rules to it, and one of them--the one the Shy Guys are trying to use here--disallows the use of some specific types of explosives. However, it names all illegal explosives specifically: no radiation bombs, nuclear or atmoic bombs, or biological bombs--that is, bombs that may spread viruses, bacteria, or disease. Bomb-bombs, however, such as those that Link uses, are completely fair game, and a MISSILE, for Pete's sake, is NOTHING like any of the bombs listed above! This is quite possibly the most terrible call I've ever seen! SC: Yeah, that's absolutely horrendous! PY: They want to give the match to Captain Falcon, since Samus is hardly affected by any other penalty. But you know what? I think I'll step in and make this call.... (Pirate pulls a lever, and a two ton hippopotamus falls from the sky and lands directly on the group of Shy Guys, crushing the squealing crowd of miniature referees under the mammal's thick behind) This call is revoked. Continue play. SC: Oh, wait wait wait......sorry, Pirate, but it looks like you're getting your item dropping status taken away again...One tiny red fist squeezes out from under the hippo, and drops a crumpled yellow flag onto the ground weakly. This half is more exciting than I thought it'd be! PY: .........so, no more dropping items, huh? Well, you know what? I have but one last thing to say. (Pirate pulls the lever a second time, and a double-decker Greyhound bus falls from the sky, landing on the hippopotamus and smothering it beneath its massive metal bulk. The horn blows loudly, and the hippo moans.) There, I'm done. Sorry you all had to see that.... SC: It's okay. NOW we'll resume play. PY: Samus immediately goes back to missiles, but Captain Falcon hurtles across the arena and jumps behind a metal pipe, not a moment too soon! The strong green metal holds up against Samus's missiles, and Captain Falcon quickly draws his gun. When a break in the missile fire comes, he pops up over the top of the pipe and fires at Samus, clipping her across the arm with a shot! She staggers, but has some health still left in her! He fires again, and Samus rolls aside just in time to dodge the attack. S: 2% CF: 31% SC: Samus spies an Item Box hovering above her head, and knows instantly how to use it. Leaping over several of Captain Falcon's shots, she punches the box, and a Fire Flower pops out. Immediately, she grabs it, then turns and hurls a wave of fireballs at Captain Falcon! Most of them bounce off the metal surface of the pipe, but one takes a lucky bounce and skims the pipe's rim, clipping Captain Falcon right in the head! He stumbles, and Samus immediately bombards him with more as he regains his balance. As Samus runs in for the kill, Captain Falcon turns and kicks--Samus leans back, narrowly avoiding his foot, and he punts the Fire Flower out of her hands and across the stage. S: 2% CF: 17% PY: Before Samus can escape, Captain Falcon uses his amazing speed and grabs her, forcing her backwards against the pipe. He's going for the pin! Using his back foot, he presses against her with all his strength, and Samus thrashes wildly, trying to escape his grip! Two seconds have passed, and Captain Falcon grits his teeth as Samus kicks at him, hitting him several times. Three seconds....four....... Samus is struggling as hard as she possibly can, and kicking at Captain Falcon with all she's got, but Captain Falcon knows he's come to far to let her go now, and endures it all, putting his entire body into it and sticking her to the wall like a fly swatter slattering its prey. And, just like that, the fifth second comes and goes, and Captain Falcon lets out his strength and steps away. Samus falls to the ground, weakly stumbling from all the energy having gone out of her, and this match is history! In a spectacular final stand, Captain Falcon pulls through for the third win of 2005, and his first win since coming back into this league from reffing! He hasn't lost his touch, apparently! S: 2% PINNED CF: 5% SC: Ooo, ooo, can I do the intro for the next battle? PY: Be my guest. SC: Um, okay, just let me get this all set up......*eh-hem* "Amazing things are always happen-"........I mean, "Victory doesn't come cheap!" Yeah, that's it. And, next time, we'll see several more fighters experience this quote for themselves as last year's champ faces off against a real contender for this year! That's right, Super Mario and Kirby will be facing off in a showdown to see how's the real star around here, and we'll find out just what kind of Star Power they're each packing! It'll be a real all-star showdown, so make sure you don't miss out on our next battle, Battle 4: Star-studded Standoff, only here on star-tastic Yoshi Stadium! PY: Got enough stars in there? SC: Yeah, I think so....I count five. PY: Ah, so you made it through your kindergarden math class ranked in the top fifty percent, eh? SC: You bet. And I like stars, also. PY: Fierce, if you're out there, we might need you. I'm trapped in the commentator booth with a star-loving psycho, and I can't get out..... |
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