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| Battle 6: Cute Carnage |
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| PY: Hi everyone and welcome once again to the latest madness-filled installment to the 2003 season of Yoshi Stadium! During our last Yoshi Stadium battle, we saw the biggest mascots in Nintendo history go head-to-head-to-head-to-head in a brutal four-man brawl to see who truly was Nintendo's most popular mascot. Pikachu was eliminated shortly after half-time, then DK followed in his footsteps not much later. After coming down to Link and Mario once again, Mario proved that the original NES star of them all still had it in him to take down Link for the win. Mario is currently the only fighter who has a perfect record, besides fighters who have not yet participated in the melee. But, Mario is not in this battle, and we don't care about last episode; we wanna see some action from the cutest stars ever to walk the 16-bit earth! Chunky Smee is down on the field with Kirby, who is finally making his long-anticipated and first try at the Yoshi Stadium turf. We will see our pink puffball hero go up against our Yoshi Stadium mascot, Yoshi, everybody's favorite Pokemon (to beat up), Pikachu, and the king of swing's little buddy, Diddy Kong. Smee? CS: Hi everybody, and I'm down on the field right now with the GameBoy legend himself, Kirby, who has traveled all the way from Pop Star to be with us today. You've traveled pretty far just to fight in your first battle, and way too far to come out with a lose. What's your stratagey today, Kirby? Kirby: As always, I figure I can eat up just about any of those other wannabees and use their powers right back at them; "Fight fire with fire", you know. CS: So far, we've seen Yoshi with one loss, Pikachu with two, and Diddy Kong is trying the fight for the first time. Are you confident knowing that everybody else is either equally new to Yoshi Stadium or unable to win yet? Kirby: The number one rule for everything is don't get overly confident; records don't mean anything now, this is a new battle. Besides, I've seen some of those battles, and the reffing was, umm, how to say, very unimpressive. But, my point is this: I'm not going into a fight and easing up because the other fighters appear to be no stronger than I. CS: Those are words of wisdom, Kirby, and good luck to you. Back to you, Pirate. PY: Thanks, Smee, and our referee today is Wario. Speaking of being a bad referee... CS: Today's battle is taking place right in the heart of the Mushroom Kingdom, where some nice power-ups are already available for anybody who hits the right block... Also, we've got a few booby traps down there, between surprise Pirhana Plant attacks, an occaisional Lakitu that drops Spinies down, and a nice spring board for getting to new heights. This should be a good battle. PY: Yoshi, Kirby, Pikachu, and Diddy have all come onto the field, and Wario is trying to decide who gets the ball first. I knew he was a bad choice. CS: He was the cheapest thing we could afford, though. At any rate, the fighters have convinced him that there is no use for a ball in a fighting match, so he's run off the field and finally blown his whistle. The battle has begun! PY: Diddy Kong cartwheels right at Yoshi, who gobbles him up before he can get there. Yoshi chews the trapped Kong a little, then spits him right into the bricks, where he slumps to the ground. Nice move, Yoshi. Y: 2 P: 0 D: 0 K: 0 CS: Pikachu charges up and hits Kirby with a blast of electricity as the puffball drops down at him from above. Kirby goes sailing......ouch. Y: 2 P: 1 D: 0 K: 0 PY: Kirby rebounds in midair and pops the bottom of a brick overhead, knocking a mushroom out. He grabs the mushroom, becoming much bigger, then he storms back to repay Pikachu. Kirby grabs Pikachu, repeatedly pounds him, then slams his Poke face into the dirt! Yowza! Don't get that little marshmallow ticked off! Y: 2 P: 1 D: 0 K: 5 CS: Diddy Kong has lept through the air at Yoshi, who meets him halfway with an egg! Diddy is pounded backwards by the flying egg and once again tumbles to the ground, thanks to Yoshi Airlines. Y: 3 P: 1 D: 0 K: 5 PY: Pikachu leaps up and is grabbed by the tail by Kirby, who swings him around before hurling him straight into another brick, which pops out a Star Man! Chaos reigns as all four fighters dive for the star! Y: 3 P: 2 D: 0 K: 6 CS: They push and shove, trying to catch it as it falls towards them...and Diddy Kong manages to come up with it! He does a quick spin and whips all the other fighters around him with his tail, then leaps on Kirby's head and flips him onto his back! Who let the Kong out? OO........oo-oo-oo..... Y: 3 P: 2 D: 5 K: 6 PY: Pikachu follows right on the heels of Yoshi, who runs for the other side of the arena. Seeing the Pokemon following him, Yoshi turns and smacks the little pocket monster with his head, knocking Pikachu backwards, where Kirby turns on him. Y: 4 P: 2 D: 5 K: 6 CS: Kirby draws his hammer and pounds Pikachu as he escapes from Diddy, flattening the pocket monster like a potato chip. Kirby then leaps over the Pokemon as Diddy races towards them, leaving the squashed Pikachu as something of a sacrifice... Y: 4 P: 2 D: 5 K: 7 PY: While Diddy thrashes the Pikachu, Yoshi and Kirby are locked in battle. Yoshi slurps up Kirby and spits him into the ground, but Kirby counters by repeatedly kicking him as he bounces back. Yoshi swiftly leaps over Kirby as the puffball kicks at him, then the little dino uses his Grount Pound to send the Pop Star being flying. Kirby immediately counters by turning into a rock and dropping on Yoshi, however, which knocks Yoshi back across the arena. Yoshi carefully lands on the spring board and bounces up onto a high series of blocks floating in the air, then he bombards Kirby with a trio of eggs that zip past Kirby until the last egg makes direct contact. Y: 8 P: 2 D: 8 K: 9 CS: Diddy is still alternately holding and punching Pikachu when his invicibility wears off. Pikachu, noticing that his foe is once again vulnerable, immediately counter attacks with a blast of electricity right in Diddy's face! The Kong is sent reeling, where he leaps to his feet and charges back, but Pikachu grabs him and hurls him straight up into the air. Diddy begins to fall just as a Lakitu comes racing under, ready to pelt the fighters with Spinies. Diddy lands right on the Lakitu's head, knocking him out of the cloud, and is suddenly controlling Lakitu's cloud! That includes the load of Spinies inside..... Y: 8 P: 4 D: 8 K: 9 PY: Diddy grabs the Spinies and hurls them down at the fighters as he races back and forth overhead. I don't know if its legal to attack non-fighters and use their weaponary on your opponents...and here comes the flag! Wario has called a penalty......it's against Diddy, for KOing Lakitu and stealing his cloud. The penalty? Umm......I'm not really sure, but he's down there chaining Diddy Kong to a pipe. Uh-oh. Isn't that a bit, er, harsh? CS: Well, expect the unexpected here at Yoshi Stadium. Diddy Kong has been chained to a pipe and will not be released until approximately one minute before half time. The other fighters are leering and are closing in on the helpless Kong, who wildly attempts to get loose. I guess we should expect a penalty like that from Wario, of all people... PY: Kirby strikes first, punching Diddy in the gut. Pikachu begins to repeatedly shock Diddy, who is helpless, but is suddenly pounded down into the turf by Yoshi, who does not feel obligated to attack the happless monkey. Is this turning into a tag-team? Y: 9 P: 7 D: 8 K: 10 CS: Kirby turns on Yoshi, as does Pikachu, and they miss as Yoshi leaps backwards and stops atop a row of bricks. Kirby floats up after him, and Pikachu continue to zap Diddy, who is panic-striken. Kirby draws his blade has he nears Yoshi and flies at him with the knife above his head. Yoshi knocks the terrifying puffball away, however, with a swipe of his tail. Tie between the Yoshi Stadium mascot and the Dream Land defender, 10 to 10. Y: 10 P: 9 D: 8 K: 10 PY: Yoshi leaps up and hits the block over head, exposing a rare fire flower, which he grabs and immediately begins using to create a wave of flames. Kirby and Pikachu are getting roasted down there, though Diddy is also feeling the heat, as Yoshi is close enough that he is hitting him, too, with the fire. Y: 14 P: 9 D: 8 K: 10 CS: It's almost half time and Wario has released Diddy, who immediately pounds the unsuspecting Pikachu and Kirby down with a cartwheel attack. They rise again and Diddy pounds them both to the ground, then he grabs Pikachu and hurls him into the side of a pipe. Kirby begins sucking Diddy in, but Pikachu hurls a jolt of thunder down that shocks them both! Diddy grabs the puffball and slams him into the ground. The Kong is on a rampage! Y: 14 P: 11 D: 14 K: 10 PY: Diddy turns and attacks Pikachu, who leaps up after him, and is smashed in the back by Kirby's hammer. Diddy is sent flying across the arena as the first half comes towards a close, with just seconds left. He's flying, flying-.......AND IS CAUGHT IN THE AIR AND GOBBLED UP BY A PIRHANA PLANT!!! I can't believe it! He was knocked into the air by Kirby, then a Pirhana Plant popped out of a pipe and gobbled him down! Kirby retakes the lead, due to his KO, and the first half is over! Y: 14 P: 11 D: 14 K: 15 CS: That's right, and we're ready for our half-time report with Bomberlink! We'll be right back, so don't go away (too far, anyways). Half-time Show End of the Half-time Show PY: Hi everybody and welcome back as we break in the second half of our latest and greatest Yoshi Stadium battle, Cute Carnage, where, so far, we've seen Yoshi and Kirby keep up a constant rivalry and Pikachu and Diddy Kong do the same between themselves. Everybody has played pretty even up until the end of the first half, where, just seconds before time ran out, Diddy was blasted across the stage and eaten up by a hungry Pirhana Plant, which ended his chances at victory. Three competitors are left--who will be able to call themselves the king of the cutsies? We turn to Chunky Smee down on the field, where he is currently interviewing the dynamic dino of doom, Yoshi! Smee? CS: Hi everybody, and welcome to the second half! It's been a great battle so far, and I'm now down here with Yoshi, a strong competitor and Yoshi Stadium's very own mascot! Tell me, Yoshi, how do you feel this battle has been going for you? Yoshi: Honestly, I expected to do a bit more egg throwing, foe-slurping, and ground-pounding than I've done so far, but I think I can change that easy enough for the second half. CS: What can you say about the way Kirby's been playing so far? He's undoubtedly making his presence known, even though this is his first Yoshi Stadium battle. How do you plan to deal with him? Yoshi: Kirby is presenting a problem to me in the sense that he's gaining more points than I am. I am very impressed with his first appearance here at Yoshi Stadium, as I'm sure we all are. He has obviously watched lots of videos from past battles, because he is playing like a real pro and knows exactly what to do and how to attack, depending on the positioning and the movements opponents make. I do believe, however, that if it comes down to him and I, I can outlast him. As mentioned above, I plan to break out my special moves a bit more. Also, I plan to become a bit more physical and less showy in the second half. CS: Very good and best of luck to you. Back to you, Pirate PY: Thanks, Smee, and, just in case you got here late, we're right in the middle of Battle 6: Cute Carnage, where Yoshi, Pikachu, Kirby, and the eliminated Diddy Kong have been battling it out for a whole half so far. Today's battle is right in the midst of one of the most popular gaming locations in the universe, the infamous Mushroom Kingdom, and today's referee has been the not-so-snazzy Wario, who has made some questionable calls already. At any rate, the remaining fighters, Yoshi, Kirby, and Pikachu, appear to be getting prepared to start. Wario blows the whistle and we're off! CS: Kirby immediately hops up and bops a block over head, freeing a mushroom, but Yoshi grabs it and becomes giant-sized! The tiny Kirby and Pikachu flee for cover as Yoshi stomps towards them, then delivers a hard tail whip to the little Pokemon, sending him soaring. A Pirhana Plant pops out as he nears a pipe, but Pikachu manages to use his Quick Attack to avoid being eaten like Diddy Kong had been. Y: 15 P: 12 D: 14 K: 16 PY: Though the size is obviously mismatched, Kirby dashes in and attacks the giant Yoshi, repeatedly pounding him with his hammer, a hammer that barely matches the length of one of Yoshi's fingers, but he is awarded points for the hits. Yoshi barely realizes that he is being assaulted until he looks down and sees the puffball pelting him with blows. He quickly leaps into the air and comes down with a wicked ground pound right on the balloon-like fighter's head, squashing the air right out of Kirby! Ouch! That could knock Kirby out of the fight for good! Y: 16 P: 12 D: 14 K: 20 CS: Pikachu has come to Kirby's aid, but Yoshi turns quickly and delivers a powerful kick with a giant foot that knocks the pocket monster out of the ball park! Pikachu flies across the stage, way past the edge of the battle area, then falls to his doom down a deep pit beyond the barrier point. Pikachu has been eliminated from the battle. The way things are looking, Yoshi not only has a heads-up advantage point-wise, but also literally! Y: 21 P: 12 D: 14 K: 20 PY: Yeah, but that's ending even as we speak. Yoshi shrinks back to his normal size finally and becomes once again vulnerable to even weak attacks. Kirby sees this and immediately rushes in, sucking in as he runs. Yoshi turns to leap away, but gets caught in the suction and is pulled into Kirby's mouth, where he is quickly copied and released once again, now facing a foe with some similar powers as his! Y: 21 P: 12 D: 14 K: 21 CS: Kirby sticks out his new tongue, trying to devour his opponent once again but with his new weaponary, but his tongue is not long enough and Yoshi barely has to move. Yoshi returns the favour easily with his much-longer tongue and eats up the little marshmallow, turning him into an egg! This will leave Kirby vulnerable for a few blows, additionally! This could seriously hurt Kirby if this battle comes down to a race for points! Y: 22 K: 21 PY: Being as experienced as he is, Yoshi immediately sees that he has his foe trapped and begins rapidly attacking the encaged Kirby, using his Flutter Stomp attack to rapidly induce damage and raise his points! Kirby is in some real trouble! Y: 32 K: 21 CS: Kirby escapes from the egg just in time to avoid another series of Flutter Stomps from Yoshi. He quickly draws his cutter and comes down on the unsuspecting Yoshi, who is thrown backwards by the blow and is sent rolling over and over. Y: 32 K: 22 PY: Time is running short. Shall I drop something down for them to fight over? CS: Drop away. PY: Here you go, guys. Have a holiday! (Pirate pulls down a lever and a battle axe, sparkling in the 8-bit sun, falls down and sticks into the ground, waiting to be plucked) CS: Hee-hee......this should make for a little amusement.... PY: Yoshi and Kirby run at the battle axe from opposite sides. Kirby lunges for the axe, but Yoshi fires his tongue out and gobbles up the pink puffball as his hands clench onto the handle. Not one to give up, however, Kirby keeps his grip on the axe as he is pulled into Yoshi's mouth, and the axe handle comes bashing up against Yoshi's nose as Kirby is eaten up. Yoshi is a bit dazed, but not dazed enough to not spit Kirby back out immediately as Kirby's little arm, which is sticking out of Yoshi's mouth, waves the axe around wildly. Kirby regains his balance, then charges at Yoshi with the battle axe! That's a vengence for you, huh, Smee? Y: 33 K: 24 CS: Yoshi runs for his life as Kirby slashes bricks in half and chops the axe down into the sides of pipes, just trying to get a piece of the leaping, diving Yoshi, who is doing everything he can to stay out of the line of fire! He leaps behind a pipe, then draws an egg, waiting to pelt the puffball if he dares to leap over after him. Instead, however, the axe blade slashes through the side of the pipe at a blinding speed, narrowly missing Yoshi as it cuts the pipe right in half! Yoshi turns to run, but the pipe falls on him and pins him to the ground, just as Kirby leaps over beside him and raises the axe above his head! Umm......maybe we shouldn't watch this, Pirate.....I have a weak stomach. Y: 33 K: 26 PY: What's the problem, you don't like a little decapitation? Just kidding. Fortunately, Kirby seems to be unable to bring himself to behead the happless Yoshi. He squats down and helps the dino escape from underneath the pipe, shakes hands with him, then picks his axe back up again. I think that deserves a Technique point, don't you? Y: 33 K: 27 CS: That truly was a kind move on Kirby's part. He's got that axe swinging again, however, and it's back to the battle! Yoshi sprints towards the spring board, kicks it against the wall as he approaches, then suddenly springs off it sideways back into Kirby, who doesn't have time to move or swing his axe! Yoshi smashes into the little axe-wielder, who is sent flying head over heels. The battle axe flies out of his hands and off of the battle field, headed straight towards Wario. Wario screams as it approaches and dives aside as the axe flies inches over his head and sticks into the wall. Uh-oh.....penalty! Y: 35 K: 27 PY: Not another one! Wario is babbling about his head being chopped off and how it is illegal to assault the referee. Little does he realize that we HAD to attack the last referee, Yoda, in order to keep him from killing off the fighters in the Star Wars battle! I wish he'd just shut up already--he's becoming a real jerk, and he needs to just let Kirby and Yoshi play. According to this penalty, Yoshi was trying to make Kirby hit him with the axe, and that Kirby intentionally released it so as to take Wario's head off. He's saying that they should BOTH be chained to pipes and he should have the right to hurl battle axes at them...what a moron.... CS: Wario won't be making any more calls after this...... (Smee pulls a lever and a 1987 Buick drops on him, crushing the fat little referee in mid-sentence) I'm reversing that call. Continue play. PY: Yowza....that was, er, brutal...... CS: Yeah, but it's just Wario--I think it said somewhere in the contract that we were permitted to hurt any referee who began to control the game's outcome, but it stated clearly in the small print that we didn't need a reason to hurt him. PY: Good point. At any rate, Yoshi is rushing at Kirby, who leaps into the air and swiftly avoids Yoshi's attack. Yoshi turns, but is kicked hard right in the stomach! He tumbles backwards, backwards....he manages to get back onto his feet, but he's still helplessly back-pedalling, and he's MOVING RIGHT TOWARDS A LARGE PIT! Yoshi helplessly wobbles on one foot as he waves his arms wildly, trying to maintain his balance, but Kirby sucks in a huge breath, then gives a short puff of air back out, and that does it! Yoshi tumbles into the pit, losing the match, and Kirby pulls off an amazing victory! This is the first match this season in which the loser had more points than the winner did! Still, Yoshi was eliminated, so Kirby has the win recorded, while Yoshi tallies another loss but a lot more points. This is sort of a bitter-sweet ending to a terrific battle, because one fighter still emerged with the win and one didn't, but both fighters played a tremendous fight and Yoshi still comes out with some very valuable points, which will very soon come into play. Points will be tallied up at the end of the season and the top four fighters in points will go into the All-Star Match, which is a special-edition battle before Yoshi Stadium starts the next season. At any rate, I can't skip the usual line, so, here goes: Yoshi tumbles down, down, down, down into the pit and Kirby sneaks through for the win in a nail-biting clincher, but, as we always say, amazing things are always happening here at Yoshi Stadium. Next time, we'll get a chance to see the ugliest of the ugly Nintendo characters compete to prove once and for all who can scare away little children and knock old ladies backwards the best. This is one battle you won't wanna miss, but you might wanna consider closing your eyes for it, because it ain't gonna be pretty... CS: Hey.......I'VE scared away little kids before..... PY: I see why. CS: Shuddup. You aren't exactly Sleeping Beauty, either. PY: Okay, that was just flat out brutal, just plain brutal. I should hit you for that. CS: Please spare me; I don't want your ugliness spreading to me, too. PY: Ooo.......I oughta deck you...... |